#196

Casimir reflexively notched an arrow and aimed it at the creature.

She targeted its crimson eyes.

However.

“Oh dear, how dangerous.”

With a soft sigh from ‘Mother,’ the arrow turned into a blunt twig and fell to her feet.

Before she knew it, the weapon in her hand had transformed into a child’s toy bow.

“I really can’t take my eyes off a child of this age.”

As ‘Mother’ walked toward her, she grew larger and larger.

No, it was Casimir who was shrinking.

Casimir threw away the useless bow and struggled to flee, moving her dwindling limbs.

She tripped while running.

The moment she struggled to stand back up, the creature lifted her.

“Now, now, where do you want to go so badly? Hmm? My little quail.”

Casimir screamed for it to dare not call her that, but all that came out were cries akin to baby babble.

‘Mother’ held Casimir and patted her as if she were a baby.

“To see you so active when you can’t even stand yet… you’ll grow into a wonderful general—no, an Amir. Won’t you?”

‘If I just remember that this is a dream…’

That thing cannot affect me.

I will not be harmed.

It seems it intends to make me feel powerless, but Casimir had endured moments far more humiliating than this.

‘I have to wake up from this dream.’

Casimir squeezed her eyes shut.

“Do you want to sleep? I see now, you were just being fussy.”

‘Mother’ began to sing a lullaby in a low voice.

It was a strange language she had never heard anywhere.

“Mommy goes to the shade of the island…”

Soon, the world turned dark.

A complete darkness, devoid of any light.

She flailed, but her fingertips touched nothing.

[To gather oysters…]

‘Is this the void?’

She could barely feel the existence of her limbs.

This time, it seemed the intent was to drive her mad in a space devoid of any stimulation.

It was a common method used when torturing prisoners.

[The baby is left alone…]

‘…It feels like I’m submerged in water.’

Casimir intentionally relaxed every muscle in her body and rested quietly.

Since even thinking consumes time, it is impossible to imprison a person for an infinite duration.

Therefore, this ‘boring’ time would eventually end.

Whether that would be in three days or three months, she didn’t know…

However, before an hour had passed in perceived time, a bright light began to flicker.

‘Another dream.’

The opponent seemed more pressed for time than expected.

It was only natural, given that it was causing a ruckus inside the Heart of Order.

Thinking this, Casimir opened her eyes.

She saw the mosaics decorating the vault sparkling in the sunlight.

It was the house where she had spent the winter.

Her father, who had been stirring the hearth, beamed with a smile upon seeing Casimir awake.

“Are you awake? You could have slept more.”

A piece of cloth with embroidery lay across his lap.

With a mere glance, she could tell it was a depiction of the fourth chapter of the scriptures.

It was a scene where the unchosen peoples died of thirst, unable to drink from the spring right before their eyes.

Nephiton had made the spring appear as sand to those who did not believe in him, and made it feel as if sand were scratching their throats when they swallowed.

They died, swallowing sand thinking it was water, and spitting out water thinking it was sand.

‘Was his goal to complete that up to the thirteenth chapter?’

But her father had died without completing the tenth.

Come to think of it, her father looked much younger now than Casimir herself.

His golden eyes curved softly.

“I’ll tell your mother that you studied the scriptures diligently all afternoon, so you can sleep in peace. You woke up so early today, after all.”

Casimir pushed away the hand stroking her head and stood up.

“…Where is ‘Mother’?”

“You should say, ‘Where is she residing’,” he corrected.

“…Is she residing?”

“At this hour, she should be training with the soldiers, so it’s best not to disturb—”

Casimir rushed out without even changing her clothes.

That thing would be occupying ‘Mother’s’ place again.

This time, she intended to blow its head off.

While running through the corridor, she spotted a servant with a familiar face.

“You!”

“Yes, noble one.”

“Bring me my bow.”

“Your bow? So suddenly…”

“Don’t ask questions. Just do as you’re told.”

“T-the noble one. I cannot enter the armory.”

The servant bowed his head and lifted a red tag hanging from his neck with both hands.

It took her a moment to recall what that was.

‘…Did red signify the lowest grade of slave?’

Those who did not receive the Blessing of Nephiton could not even see or pass through the gates frequented by the Golden-Eyed Clan.

Among them, slaves with red tags could not even approach places where important items were kept, such as the armory.

Perhaps the people who resisted until the end used red as their symbol, which is why it became the mark of the lowest class.

She had no memory of what the red-colored people had worshipped.

“Look up for a moment.”

Why was this insignificant servant familiar?

As she examined him closely, Casimir suddenly remembered.

There had been a red-tagged servant who lost his life while trying to escape the mansion.

Normally, a red tag cannot even see the path leading outside the walls…

‘Because someone soft-hearted gave him a Blessing.’

Tsk.

When Casimir clicked her tongue, the servant jumped in surprise.

“I am sorry, noble one. I have done wrong. Please, anything but the whip…”

“…I have no intention of punishing you, so go back to your work.”

“Yes, yes. Thank you for your mercy.”

For the first time in a very long while, Casimir recalled the existence of her younger cousin.

It seemed to be a point in time before that child became a vessel for Nephiton.

Nephiton had personally surveyed this land by switching between the bodies of young children who had not yet reached menarche; while the duty of becoming a divine vessel was an honorable task, it was also a terrifying one.

Until her own menarche, Casimir too had to fall asleep fearing that she might open her eyes to find several years had vanished.

Of course, revealing such fear was treated as blasphemy.

‘My cousin had been furious, claiming that this servant hadn’t tried to escape but intended to return, and insisted on believing that lie until the end.’

The child had been foolishly naive.

If he had witnessed the downfall of the family with a sane mind, he would have been unable to endure it and committed suicide.

But since he died as Nephiton’s vessel, he would have known nothing.

If she turned the corner now…

‘…I’ve remembered things I didn’t need to.’

The intruder seemed to be slowly scouring her past to find her weaknesses.

Casimir found it repulsive and continued toward the armory.

‘Did it judge that I would miss this time?’

If so, it was gravely mistaken.

Casimir had never once regretted anything.

Regret is for when there are other options.

‘Unless I regret not killing Nephiton sooner.’

The symbols of Nephiton were everywhere, to a sickening degree.

Walls, ceilings, tapestries, carpets, bars…

If it were up to her, she would smash and burn them all.

“Why did I think of that?”

Something cool touched her shoulder.

Long, red hair.

Casimir froze instantly.

“I heard you looked for Mommy as soon as you woke up? Mommy is right here. My cute little quail.”

Reflexively, she struck toward the source of the voice with her elbow.

However, she felt only a squishy sensation; there was no impact of a cheekbone shattering.

“Oh dear, how dangerous. You almost hurt yourself.”

“…What do you intend to do by stealing my memories?”

“Hmm? It’s because I want to be a good mother to you. You know the saying, ‘Mothers are mothers for the first time, too.’”

“That’s the first I’ve heard of it.”

“I imagine so. Well, regardless, I don’t want to use that as an excuse. That’s why I’m trying to avoid making the same mistakes by observing your mother’s life. Is there anything that upset you about your mother, or something you wished she had done for you?”

A hollow laugh almost escaped her.

It wants to be my ‘mother’?

Would anyone actually fall for such a lure?

Unless they were a very young child or a senile elder, no one would harbor such an absurd wish.

“…My mother was a heretic. When I told her to believe in Order, she cast me out penniless. Do you intend to believe in Order?”

“No? I don’t.”

As expected, it was a heretic not worth talking to.

The creature smiled, curling the corners of its lips.

“Do you want me to believe in Order?”

“Well…”

“But that’s not what you truly desire.”

Despite never having sincerely served Order, it whispered foul words into her ear.

“Have you never dreamed… that if Nephiton had been stronger, and if the entire Dark Realm had served the Golden-Eyed Clan…?”

Casimir’s face contorted.

She utterly loathed those who indulged in such delusions.

‘If they have no intention of adapting, they should just quietly commit suicide.’

Casimir had chewed over that thought countless times while cutting the throats of those who called her a traitor.

“…I do not desire such vain things.”

“Oh my. You’ve been broken and crushed to the point where you dare not even dream. How pitiful.”

‘Mother’ hugged Casimir tightly.

Goosebumps erupted all over her body.

“Mommy is sorry. If I had been the one to give birth to you…”

The sensation of long nails combing through her hair was eerie and unpleasant.

She tried to wake up, reminding herself that this moment was a dream, but the fingers burrowing into her mind were faster.

“…I wouldn’t have died and left you.”

Her vision blacked out.

In the void where nothing could be felt, senses awakened one by one.

The first thing to penetrate her mind was a pungent smell.

The smell of burning humans.

‘Predictable.’

Even without opening her eyes, she knew what scene would unfold.

The burning holy land would be filled with corpses whose eye sockets had been gouged out.

Blood would flow like streams over the mosaic tiles, and decapitated bodies would be piled high.

Anyone with golden eyes, regardless of whether they were elderly or children, had lost their lives.

It was not a massacre perpetrated by Order.

The surviving slaves testified that an ‘Amir’ had committed such atrocities.

‘It was to hide Nephiton.’

Casimir’s mother had given her two eyes to Nephiton as a final act and was captured alive, blood dripping from her face.

The frost-like voice commanding the group, who had already defected to Order, to pluck out her eyes and burn them was still vivid.

‘But that last will contained a code that only I could understand.’

Casimir had heard where Nephiton was hiding.

Thanks to that, she was able to rise to her current position.

In a way, it could be called her final legacy.

Casimir opened her eyes.

‘…Outside the walls.’

Nephiton’s holy land was burning fiercely.

The sky was red even though the sun had set.

The heat touching her face was scorching.

It was a scene so realistic it was hard to believe it was a dream.

‘Human imagination is truly wonderful.’

In truth, Casimir had never seen the holy land burning.

She had arrived after the fires were out and the debris had been partially cleared.

Therefore, the scene she was seeing now was not a memory, but entirely imagination.

‘No, perhaps memory itself is fundamentally nothing more than imagination.’

For a while, she had also had nightmares of becoming an Amir.

What if I had been in that position?

What could I have done?

Nephiton had been struggling desperately to survive. Even if Nephiton’s vessel had been destroyed, it would have crawled into someone else’s body.

‘…Perhaps the one who carried out that slaughter was not Mother, but Nephiton.’

If it had used the holy land as an altar, slaughtered all of the Golden-Eyed Clan as sacrifices, and finally shed Mother’s body like a husk to escape.

What thoughts would have crossed Mother’s mind, waking up in a pool of blood, having lost both eyes?

‘Come to think of it, the red-head should be inside now.’

Casimir chuckled.

It should have checked its own role properly before showing her a nightmare.

It was likely suffering quite a miserable fate.

‘Seeing that the moat is still full of water, is it before Nephiton escaped?’

It looked like water, but it wasn’t real water.

Just approaching that liquid caused blisters on the skin, and the moment it touched, it melted the bone.

No tool could scoop out that ‘water,’ and any attempt to build a bridge would fail.

‘Water created by an illusion.’

The reason Casimir had come here was to check if someone of the Golden-Eyed Clan could cross the moat.

Order had expected a long stalemate to follow.

Though when she actually arrived, everything had already ended.

‘Anyway…’

Nothing it showed her would surprise her.

As Casimir was thinking this, the moat suddenly dried up and sand filled it.

All the castle gates swung wide open.

While the commander was flustered, and it was decided to observe the situation until a Revelation descended.

“Kasmira!”

Casimir flinched.

It was because ‘Mother’ had called her by the name she used when she was a heretic.

She knew the comrades beside her weren’t real and were figures in a dream, but…

“Kasmira, my child! It’s okay now! I’ve killed the bug you were afraid of, so come here and be at peace!”

‘Mother’ threw the head of a giant centipede onto the ground.

It was Nephiton.

Not wearing a human skin.

Suddenly, her heart began to race.

If so, Nephiton’s vessel was…

“Look, your friend is safe here too!”

‘Friend?’

Her younger cousin peeked out hesitantly.

Then, he whispered something to the red-head.

“Ah, not a friend, but an older sister? I see.”

…A very unpleasant emotion boiled up.

“Kasmira, your sibling says they have something to tell you! Come and hear it yourself!”

The people standing beside her parted to make a path.

As if deliberately revealing that this was a dream.

Casimir ran, gripping her sword.

It was to cut off that thing’s head.

But the ‘younger cousin’ ran to her first.

‘What a pathetic trick…’

“Sister!”

For a very brief moment, Casimir stopped her sword.

A beat later, the object she was holding turned into a bouquet of flowers.

The phantom buried its face in her shoulder and sobbed.

“Sister… I missed you.”

At the unpleasant sensation of someone rummaging through her mind, she felt like vomiting.

Casimir squeezed her eyes shut.

The world was dyed in darkness again.

In that darkness, Casimir had to suppress her rage for a long time.

‘…What a joke.’

Did it think I wouldn’t be able to wake up from such a foolish dream?

It’s useless.

No matter how many times this is repeated, I…

[…You seem to be misunderstanding something, so let me tell you: you’ve simply woken up from a nap. Fetuses repeat cycles of sleep and wakefulness every 30 minutes.]

‘…What?’

[The exact reason why REM sleep is necessary hasn’t been fully uncovered, but they say the proportion of REM sleep is longer the younger you are. It probably plays a crucial role in brain development. That’s why you have to sleep well to grow well.]

She couldn’t understand a word of what was being said.

‘Fetus’?

[Anyway. Our baby was bothered by that cousin. How precious. I’ll have to go farm Nephiton’s remains right away. Mommy will make sure to give birth to you two as twins!]

‘What on earth…’

[Do you want an older sister? Or do you want to be a younger sister? No. You both mean the same thing.]

‘…….’

[Since I ate you first, there’s a high probability you’ll be the older sister, but if I try… Oh, you’re okay with being the older sister? How good. How precious can you be.]

“…….”

[Mommy will eat up all the bad dreams, so sleep peacefully.]

“…….”

[Is there anything else on your mind besides your sibling?]

‘…….’

[…Fabio?]