By Zephyria 
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“Give this to Eun-won.”
“What is it?”
“Chocolate. I bought some for Eun-won while I was buying Se-na’s. They’re macadamia chocolates… I’m not sure if he’ll like them.”
Cha Se-jin peeked inside the shopping bag. There were three boxes of chocolates with colorful packaging.
“Eun-won likes chocolate.”
“Really? That’s a relief.”
“Yeah. I’ll enjoy them. Thanks, Hyung.”
Even at those words, Cha Se-gyu observed Cha Se-jin with an amused expression. It was funny and interesting to see his younger brother—who in the past would have found it tedious to even remember what someone liked—now knowing Eun-won’s tastes inside out.
“Hawaii was great. Have you been?”
“I haven’t been to Hawaii. The timing never worked out. Is it a good place to hang out?”
“Yeah. It’s a bit hot during the day, but not the kind of heat that’s exhausting, so it was nice. The ocean is great, and since it’s bright and sunny all the time… it feels like there’s nothing to make you feel gloomy? You should go sometime. I only went for work, but I think it would be a great place to go and swim to your heart’s content.”
“I should go with Eun-won once it gets colder. We didn’t even go on a honeymoon after getting married.”
Cha Se-gyu’s eyebrows rose slowly at the words that flowed out as if they were the most natural thing in the world. Unaware of this, Cha Se-jin continued talking to himself, brushing his fingertips against the shopping bag adorned with the Hawaii logo.
“Actually… maybe we should go somewhere else first when break starts. Maybe go right after exams for about three weeks? Would that be too tiring… We can always go to Hawaii next winter… Hmm…”
“…….”
“No. To get that honeymoon feeling, Hawaii would be better. It’s not cold, either. Eun-won seems to be very sensitive to the cold… So it would be better to go somewhere warm.”
Watching the still-serious Cha Se-jin, Cha Se-gyu now found it hard to stifle his laughter. Just a moment ago, he had acted as if the world were ending because Eun-won was coming home in someone else’s car instead of his, and now he was giddy with the thought of traveling with Eun-won.
“Go to Hawaii this time, and tour Europe next summer. Europe is better in the summer than winter. Or, you could just take a year off and travel around.”
“Should I? That would be perfect. Hyung and Dad can handle the resort business, and I’ll just go play with Eun-won.”
“You talk as if it’s someone else’s business. You even went through with an arranged marriage to make this happen.”
At Cha Se-gyu’s words, Cha Se-jin slowly crossed his legs and tilted his head as if wondering what he meant.
“That’s just for public appearances. I didn’t marry for the resort. That wasn’t even a consideration in the first place. Dad and Hyung were just happy that the resort would follow along if I married. Did I not tell you? I think I did. I didn’t do it for the resort; I did it because of my darling’s face.”
“Is he still the same as before you married?”
“What?”
“I’m asking if he’s still as pretty as he was back then.”
“He’s not the same. How could he be? Time has passed.”
“Are you bored of him already?”
“No? He’s fucking prettier. Now that we live together, I see that everything else is pretty too. Hyung, I’m seriously going crazy. His heels are pretty, and the shape of his kneecaps is pretty. And I’ve never in my life thought that the shape of a belly button could be pretty, but Eun-won’s…”
“…Alright, calm down. I don’t think I need to know that much. Anyway, don’t think about slacking off on your work; be prepared. I have no intention of letting you off the project.”
Cha Se-gyu shook his head and cut him off, fearing he would genuinely lose his composure if he heard any more. However, Cha Se-jin continued with what he wanted to say.
“But the strange thing is, there are things you clearly can’t see, and I can’t explain what they are, but I just think they’re pretty. Not the visible things like his face, hands, or body… just… hmm… Ah, I don’t know. I can’t explain it. But he’s just pretty as he is. What do you call that?”
Cha Se-gyu sighed and shook his head, regretting coming here. He couldn’t understand why his brother was telling him this. Seeing him say such incredible things—things that would have solved everything if he had said them to the person in question—while asking what it was called, left Cha Se-gyu speechless, only able to sigh repeatedly. He was his brother, but he was truly… impressive in a pathetic way.
“I should be even better to Eun-won from now on. I’m so grateful he lives with you.”
“What are you talking about all of a sudden?”
“I’m saying don’t tell me these things, tell the person themselves. I’m leaving.”
“Ah, why are you leaving in the middle of a sentence?”
“I feel like I’m going to throw up if I hear any more.”
Watching Cha Se-gyu leave the conference room while mimicking vomiting, Cha Se-jin leaned back deeply into his chair, dissatisfied.
Tell the person themselves.
Cha Se-jin frowned. Was he telling him to say those things to Eun-won? That his heels are pretty, his kneecaps are pretty, his belly button is pretty, and although he’s not sure what it is, even the invisible parts—that he is just pretty as a whole?
“…….”
What kind of face would Eun-won make if he heard that? Surely, Eun-won’s ears, face, and neck would all turn red. Smiling at the mere imagination of how cute it would be, Cha Se-jin picked up his phone and looked again at the message Eun-won had sent a moment ago.
“…I have to see him, I have to.”
If he’s supposed to tell him in person, he’d have to see his face to say anything. Staring at Eun-won’s message saying he would go home in another guy’s car, Cha Se-jin sighed, shoved the phone into his suit pocket, and left the conference room.
Carrying a handful of sweetness to deliver to Eun-won.
* * *
[Eun-won: Director, I’m leaving now]
After sending the message, Eun-won looked down at the screen for a moment before flipping the phone over and placing it on his lap. He wondered what Cha Se-jin was doing right now.
Exercising? Showering? Or perhaps spending time with his family in the main house?
“This is the place, right?”
His classmate, Choi Do-yoon, who was in the driver’s seat, pointed to the address on the navigation. Eun-won leaned forward slightly to check and nodded.
“Yeah. You can drop me off there.”
“But isn’t this a main road? I can just take you right to your front door.”
“No, it’s okay. I just have to go in a little bit from there.”
“Tell me if you change your mind on the way.”
Eun-won smiled quietly at Choi Do-yoon’s joking tone and turned his gaze toward the window. Cars flowed slowly along the road where night had fallen. He had been frantic while discussing the assignment with his team members at the cafe, but staying in this quiet and slightly awkward atmosphere made him think of Cha Se-jin, who had offered to pick him up from school.
If he had only said yes, Cha Se-jin would have come to the school immediately. Even if it were two or three in the morning, not just night, Cha Se-jin was the kind of person who would come without any hesitation. Because he was always the first person to arrive in moments when Eun-won needed someone’s help, comfort, or touch. He liked that. He really, really liked it. So much that it was almost a problem.
He would have been genuinely happy if Cha Se-jin had picked him up. He would have been fluttering throughout the assignment, and the moment he faced Cha Se-jin’s face as he stepped out of the car, he probably wouldn’t have been able to resist running to him. But if he had, the heart he had been holding back all day to keep from getting ahead of himself might have loosened again in an instant.
The Director is indeed kind. He cares about me a lot. What is the heart that allows him to come pick me up without any sign of annoyance? Perhaps it’s the same heart as mine?
Fearing his thoughts might go that far, Eun-won quietly caught his breath. That was why he hadn’t refused when Choi Do-yoon offered to drop him off on the way. It wasn’t that he was trying to avoid Cha Se-jin. It certainly wasn’t that he had started to dislike him. He just needed a little time to calm himself down.
Enough to wait until Cha Se-jin’s answer arrived.
Enough so that he wouldn’t believe the things he hadn’t yet said on his own first.
For the past few days, Eun-won had been trying his best not to add a long distance of his own to every bit of kindness Cha Se-jin offered. Of course, there were more days when he failed than when he succeeded.
His heart still raced when Cha Se-jin smiled, and his body naturally leaned in whenever their fingertips touched. Just the fact that he was by his side made his heart feel fluffy. It was inevitable.
Still, he tried not to expect too much. Because of that, he felt he had become a bit calmer, enough to wait even if he had to wait a very long time for Cha Se-jin’s answer. However… he was a little curious.
How long would he have to wait? How far had that ‘thought’ the Director mentioned progressed?
Waiting was not as quiet a task as he had thought. While the day flowed as if nothing were happening—eating, going to school, doing assignments, and sleeping—the same question continued to move faintly in one corner of his heart.
What answer will the Director reach?
Will that answer resemble what I hope for?
Eun-won looked out the window and lightly curled his fingertips. Perhaps he was being too afraid. The loss of his mother, the way his father and the Madam changed their kindness according to their needs—those memories might be making the current happiness look unstable.
His words that the good ‘nows’ gather to create a continuous good time were all correct. Because Eun-won also loved every ‘now’ he spent with Cha Se-jin. And as those good moments piled up, Eun-won grew to love Cha Se-jin more and more. In the end, his current feelings were created by the gathering of the good ‘nows’ he had been given.
“…….”
He felt like he understood what those words meant, and he felt like he could think that way, but fear kept popping up. That fear warned him that while he was leaning entirely on the happy present, he might suddenly face a breakup in an unprepared future.
He kept thinking of his father and the Madam. People who were kind when necessary, but became cold so easily when they didn’t get the answer they wanted. The moment when the heart that longed for love, warmth, and stability collapsed overnight still weighed heavily on Eun-won.
Eun-won looked down at the phone on his lap again. The screen was silent. Cha Se-jin’s answer had not yet arrived.
But it was okay. Because he had decided to wait. Because he decided not to be impatient.
Taking a small breath, Eun-won turned his head toward Choi Do-yoon, who was talking to him.
“Organizing the data really took a long time. It must have been hard for you too.”
“Ah, a bit. There were too many sources without citations.”
“They told us to only find things with citations, but people really don’t listen, seriously. Still, you’re good at organizing. When I saw the presentation summary, I knew this was it. Totally clean.”
“Thanks. I’m glad you liked it.”
“I’m not just saying it. The professor will probably like it too.”
“I hope so. I need to do well on the presentation….”
Trivial conversations passed between them. Talk of assignments, the professor, and next week’s classes. Whenever Choi Do-yoon made a joke, Eun-won laughed softly. Thanks to that, it wasn’t too awkward even when the conversation paused. Yet, strangely, the tension in his body didn’t easily dissipate.
Whether it was because he was in the car of a classmate he wasn’t very close with, or because he felt lost on how to keep the conversation going, a light tension covered various parts of his body. Eun-won moved his fingertips, resting on the seatbelt, several times. The scent of an unfamiliar fruity car air freshener spread thickly.
“The navigation says it’s just ahead; should I drop you off on the road there?”
“Yeah. Stop there.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to go right to your front door?”
“Yeah. It’s okay. My house is right there.”
In truth, it wasn’t a very short distance. But it was a distance he could walk. Above all, he didn’t particularly want to reveal the road leading to his front door. It wasn’t because Choi Do-yoon was a strange person, it was just… that. It was the place where he lived with Cha Se-jin, and for Eun-won, it was a cautious and private space that was still difficult to explain.
“Get home safe.”
“Yeah. Thanks for the ride.”
“Yup, see you tomorrow.”
After saying goodbye, Eun-won got out of the car and closed the door. Only after confirming that Choi Do-yoon’s car had merged back into the road did he slowly turn around.
The night air, colder than expected, clung to his cheeks. On the roadside where bright lights blurred, there weren’t many people passing by. The people standing at the bus stop near where Eun-won stood disappeared as the arriving bus took them away. Eun-won checked the direction he needed to go on his phone map and began walking toward home. Just as he had taken about ten steps, his phone rang.
Husband. The moment he saw the name on the screen, Eun-won stopped in his tracks without realizing it. Just seeing the word ‘Husband’ made his heart tighten so much it almost hurt. Taking a small breath, Eun-won pressed the phone to his ear.