By Zephyria 
===
Eun-won had never been one to experience extreme emotional swings. For the most part, he was steady and didn’t let changes in mood sweep him away. When he was young—very young—there were times when he was, but after realizing that doing so changed nothing and only left him exhausted, he spent most of his time enduring and overcoming things with a calm demeanor.
However, there was one exception: his mother. He poured his emotions into her; thinking of her and being with her, he laughed a lot, cried a lot, felt great joy, and also great pain.
After his mother passed away, Eun-won faced the flood of emotions he had suppressed for so long and collapsed for a while. Since then, he had never held such deep feelings for anyone. Even when he felt relieved and excited at the prospect of having a family he could lean on, it wasn’t to that extent. From the start, nothing could compare to the immense love he had for his most precious mother.
Yet, since realizing he had fallen for Cha Se-jin, his heart fluctuated far too easily. Just like a moment ago, he would flutter at a single word and then sink deeply at another. He vowed not to let it happen, telling himself there was nothing good about being swayed by emotion, but while his head understood, the heart that actually needed to listen refused to do so.
Repeating the cycle of fluttering and regaining composure until the final class ended, Eun-won nonetheless hurried his pace, excited at the thought that he could finally see Cha Se-jin. Liking someone means I can’t hold onto my own heart. Leaving behind a tingling sensation that blurred through him, he stood before the crowded elevator, but even that wait felt too agonizing, so he rushed down the stairs instead.
It’s the Executive Director…!
Seeing Cha Se-jin’s car, Eun-won instinctively tidied his hair before approaching. Cha Se-jin was inside, on the phone. Eun-won waited, thinking it would be better to get in after the call, when the window rolled down. Still holding the phone to his ear, Cha Se-jin mouthed the words, ‘Dad, Dad. No, Father, Father,’ and gestured for him to get in. Accordingly, Eun-won climbed into the car as quietly as possible.
“No, I’m telling you I’m out on business right now. It’s not like I’m just wandering around the company; I’ve finished everything I had to do today. I spent all morning listening to a presentation with zero substance, had one meeting, and was just finishing up a conference and approvals. It’s actually quite hurtful that you say I only work when I feel like it. Yes, I’ve really finished everything, so ask anyone. I’m serious. Yes, yes. I’ll see you at home.”
Having finished the call, Cha Se-jin put his phone away and shook his head.
“I really need to flip the office upside down once.”
“…Why?”
“The Chairman definitely installed wiretaps or cameras in my room. If not, why would he call the office only on the days I leave early? What do you think?”
“Um…”
Seeing Eun-won turn serious over a lament about his father’s keen intuition, Cha Se-jin laughed and rubbed the boy’s soft cheek with a curved index finger. He wondered how a twenty-year-old could be this cute.
“It’s probably just a coincidence, right?”
“Yes, even so… I don’t think he would go that far.”
“Right. He’s not that kind of person. Though the problem is that his intuition is too good.”
Finding it adorable how Eun-won nodded along with him, Cha Se-jin sighed and took the heavy bag Eun-won was clutching and moved it to the backseat.
“Can you eat dinner in about 30 or 40 minutes? If it’s too early, we can drive around a bit first.”
“I’m fine with going right now, but if you haven’t thought of anything yet, Executive Director…”
“I can eat. I had a meeting over lunch, but ah, it really wasn’t to my taste, and I couldn’t eat well while working, so I barely touched it. Then let’s go straight there.”
“Okay.”
When Cha Se-jin wasn’t around, his mood fluctuated easily as he recalled the various versions of Cha Se-jin in his head, but now, his heart simply beat with a pleasant thumping. His gaze kept drifting, a smile kept forming… just as it had all day, he still wanted to touch him.
He simply liked Cha Se-jin. That was all. That was his honest feeling in this moment. He didn’t want to waste this time—this precious time spent together, filled with joy and excitement. So, Eun-won smiled back at Cha Se-jin, who was smiling at him.
In the quiet private room they were guided into, Eun-won gazed at Cha Se-jin as he looked at the menu. Or more accurately, at Cha Se-jin’s hand and wrist holding the menu.
Their hands had brushed as they walked in together after getting out in front of the hotel. Eun-won had been startled for a moment and pulled his hands together, but Cha Se-jin had naturally reached out and grasped Eun-won’s hand.
They had ridden the elevator and been led here while holding hands. It was only when they sat down that Cha Se-jin’s fingers released his grip, and from that moment, Cha Se-jin’s hand kept catching his eye.
‘It’s still warm.’
The voice telling him it was warm while touching his face and body with those large, hot hands suddenly came back to him, and the sensations that had lingered in his mind throughout class once again filled his body and heart.
Watching Cha Se-jin’s long fingers move slowly as if stroking the menu, Eun-won suddenly pressed his thighs together as a surge of emotion swelled within him. As he applied pressure, the sensation at the starting point—which would surely feel good if touched—traveled up the inside of his thighs.
‘Should I keep it inside?’
He remembered how he had hugged Cha Se-jin tighter with both arms every time he pulled away because he loved the feeling of him being inside. Each time, Cha Se-jin would gently stretch his interior, entering deep, and whisper softly against his ear as if sharing a secret. Should I keep it inside? I want to live like this.
The sound of the menu closing, Cha Se-jin’s voice ordering skillfully, the look in his eyes when asking for his opinion, the sound of the door opening and closing, the rustle of the napkin, the sound of the appetizer plate being set down, the heavy clink of the fork hitting the tableware…
Sounds he normally wouldn’t have noticed—some of which he might not have heard at all—sounded incredibly loud today. Eun-won stole a glance at Cha Se-jin, who was elegantly moving the cutlery again, as he put a piece of steak into his mouth that Cha Se-jin had sliced to be both easy to eat and visually appealing.
The downward gaze, the straight back, the firm fingers and wrist quietly slicing the steak so as not to make a loud noise against the tableware.
Feeling his pheromones leaking, Eun-won quickly suppressed them and tried to focus on the meal. However, once his gaze and interest were stolen, they did not easily return.
Cha Se-jin was also going crazy. Honestly, he had been aroused from the moment Eun-won got into the car—no, since he was at the company—and when their hands brushed upon entering the hotel, his mind had nearly flipped. Grabbing the hand openly had also been a sort of impulse.
Since then, he noticed Eun-won’s behavior had changed subtly. He had started being conscious of him throughout, and it was obvious that he was observing him, getting startled, and reading his mood over the smallest things. Also, though he tried to suppress them, pheromones kept leaking out. What did that mean? It meant that Eun-won also found looking at him a turn-on.
Of course, such words didn’t quite suit Eun-won, but just by seeing him keep looking at his hand and his ears turning red, he could be certain. Steak or not, Eun-won also wanted to roll around with him frantically.
However, he decided not to make it obvious. While it was unlikely to be wrong, it would be embarrassing if there were even a 0.1% chance that he was mistaken. And even if he wasn’t, Eun-won—who had spent three days clinging to him, swept away by instinct and oblivious to everything—needed a few more days to rest.
For him, he could do it several more times right now, and in truth, he wasn’t conscientious enough to think and be considerate of such things, but he still couldn’t bring himself to treat Eun-won carelessly, nor did he want to. Unless Eun-won asked for sex first, he thought it would be better to just quietly feed him delicious food.
“…”
“…”
He wondered what conversation they should have, but his words were blocked and his thoughts only grew. Only things that couldn’t be put into words came to mind, and finding something he could actually say wasn’t easy.
Cha Se-jin took a sip of wine. He hadn’t intended to drink, but both his mind and fingertips were boiling, so he had no choice. As for the car, he could just call a driver, so there was nothing to worry about, but he wondered what to do about his heart, which was beyond boiling and now surging.
“I want to talk about what happened while we were together for a few days, but I don’t think it’s the kind of talk to have over a meal. Everything I try to say is too… wet.”
“…”
“How was school today?”
“…Huh?”
Eun-won was startled by Cha Se-jin’s question. Recalling how he had been stuck with Cha Se-jin all day at school, he wondered how Cha Se-jin knew he couldn’t even focus on class.
Of course, that wasn’t the direction of Cha Se-jin’s question. It was a question about whether it had been hard to attend class after using his body for three days. Whether it was difficult to sit for long periods, whether there was any other discomfort, or if anyone who saw him that day had acted like they knew.
“I was fine, but I kept thinking of you, so I couldn’t focus on the meeting. Then I guess everything is fine? Anyway, whether I was in a meeting, a conference, or just alone in the office, I kept thinking about being with you.”
Cha Se-jin was about to add with a smile, It’s strange, right? Even though I wasn’t in Rut, but the moment he looked up at Eun-won, the smile slowly vanished. Eun-won’s face turned that 99.9% certainty into a perfect 100%. Eun-won had a face that erased that 0.1% possibility of it not being the case.
It couldn’t be anything else. There was no way. Deeply inhaling the pheromones leaking from Eun-won, Cha Se-jin let out a low laugh at the rising excitement and looked at Eun-won.
“You know my room is up there, right?”
“…Yes…”
“Shall we go up?”
Eun-won’s face flushed bright red as he instantly understood the meaning behind the words spoken in that low voice. He felt so hot that his head was spinning. Eun-won barely managed a small nod.
“You didn’t mistake this for a ‘hocance’ again, did you? I didn’t say let’s go for a hotel vacation.”
It was mischievous, but his final shred of patience was melted into those words. It was Eun-won’s last chance to refuse. It felt like his pheromones were about to explode. He wondered if he had ever struggled this much to suppress his pheromones. To be this way even when not in Rut. Cha Se-jin tried his best to hold onto his reason as he waited for Eun-won’s answer. Soon, Eun-won, with the tips of his ears completely red and his head bowed, opened his mouth.
“…I’m not… either…”