By Zephyria 
Kwon Rae-i, really. He thought his personality was bad.
His faint eyes, filled with earnestness, pressured Tae-hwon, and a small tremor was felt in his grasped hand. He would know Tae-hwon’s intentions even if he didn’t ask for a definite answer, but he stubbornly followed him and seemed to feel relieved only after hammering it in. Tae-hwon, unable to win, followed his intentions and spat out the answer he wanted and desired.
“Yes.”
Kwon Rae-i, who had finally heard Tae-hwon’s answer, slowly opened and closed his eyelids.
He seemed to be savoring the moment. A clear look of excitement appeared on his pale face, and he bit his lip tightly as if he couldn’t bear it. His jaw twitched, and his muscles stiffened.
“Really…?”
A low, trembling voice flowed from him. Tae-hwon held Kwon Rae-i’s hand and reaffirmed.
“Yes, I will be with you wherever you go, young master.”
“Really, really?”
“Yes. Until the end.”
“Even though I’ve grown up so much like this?”
“Yes.”
“Even if I…”
Kwon Rae-i paused for a moment.
The grip on their clasped hands grew stronger, and the heat in his gaze intensified. Like a dark typhoon, his emotions swirled and trapped Tae-hwon, constricting him. He felt crushed by his presence.
“Even if I… want Woo Tae-hwon?”
Tae-hwon slowly opened his lips and spoke the answer his heart had already decided.
“…Yes.”
* * *
In the darkness, Tae-hwon stood alone. At first, it was silent. A gray sky hung heavily, and even the wind seemed to hold its breath in a desolate stillness.
‘So, it’s a dream…’
Tae-hwon cautiously surveyed the barren wasteland. He was the only one on the dry land where no warmth of life could be felt.
Thwack!
Suddenly, with a roar that seemed to split the sky, a flash of lightning tore through the darkness. The surroundings brightened in an instant, revealing the landscape. It was a chilling sight. Huge trees were twisted towards the sky like broken fingers, and the ground was cracked, as if revealing its deep interior.
The sound of thunder shook the earth, and earthquakes began to occur in all directions. The ground trembled, and waterways burst open. A red river flowed from upstream to downstream, covering the dry land.
‘Ah.’
The loud explosion he thought was thunder was actually a gunshot. The sound echoed sharply, like a memory frozen in time.
Tae-hwon frantically looked around, the sound of gunfire amplifying his fear as if tearing at his heart. Like shadows stained in a hazy memory, one crucial thing did not come to mind. Only a thick fog and uneasy reverberations lingered in his head.
‘What is this? What memory is this?’
Tae-hwon clutched his head and struggled.
He clung to the edge of the hazy memory, but at that moment, the ground suddenly heaved as if about to collapse. Beneath Tae-hwon’s feet lay a deep, black abyss, from which ominous crimson waters poured endlessly.
The gushing red light seemed about to sweep Tae-hwon away and obliterate him. As if there was nowhere to escape.
At that very moment.
‘…Ugh!’
His head throbbed.
A headache that felt like his brain was splitting in two washed over him.
Tae-hwon, his face contorted in pain, clutched his forehead with one hand and staggered. Amidst the chaos, the surrounding noise subsided, and a vibration arose in his head. Like flashes going off everywhere, fragmented pieces of memory sparkled as they caught the light.
He saw someone speaking.
A wrinkled, dignified face. A face he could never forget.
The head of Gyeongjeong, Kwon Jung-il.
It was Chairman Kwon Jung-il.
You…?
And then, a deafening gunshot.
Blood splattering violently. Adrenaline flooding. A defiled study and Chairman Kwon collapsing.
‘Kuh…’
And then, the world went dark. It was darkness.
“Huh!”
His eyes snapped open.
Cold sweat streamed down Tae-hwon’s back. It was a terrible nightmare.
Tae-hwon gasped for breath, his body trembling slightly. A faint headache still plagued his head, and his heart pounded anxiously.
“Tae-hwon, are you awake? What’s wrong?”
As he calmed his breathing and finally regained his composure, he noticed his surroundings. Tae-hwon was lying on a white bed, covered with a blanket, and Kwon Rae-i was lying next to him, embracing him. The bedroom was dark, with only one crimson indirect light dimly lit.
“Are you okay?”
“Ah… yes. I had a headache for a moment. I have a headache.”
Tae-hwon covered his face, shielding his forehead with his left hand. His complexion, pale and sweating, was not good. Kwon Rae-i, examining Tae-hwon’s pale face, hugged him tightly and patted his back as if to calm him.
“Did you have a nightmare?”
“Yes. And…”
It was vague, but it felt like a forgotten memory was coming back…
“I felt like I was about to remember something. Something… I’m not sure.”
As he tried to dredge up the confused memories, he became breathless again, and his head began to ache. Tae-hwon frowned deeply and swallowed a groan.
‘What was that, anyway?’
What was Chairman Kwon saying when he called Woo Tae-hwon?
And what was the identity of that shadow he saw in his dream?
“Two people… The Chairman called two of them.”
He felt like he had to remember.
But conversely, he also felt like he should never remember.
“One was me, and it seemed like there was someone else in that seat.”
If he regained all his memories, if he returned to being thirty-year-old Woo Tae-hwon, then he would no longer…
He could no longer be with Kwon Rae-i like this…
“Ugh…”
Tae-hwon painfully shut his mouth. Seeing his suffering, Kwon Rae-i urgently stopped Tae-hwon from speaking.
“Stop! That’s enough. Don’t try to remember it forcibly.”
If thirty-year-old Woo Tae-hwon returned, this peaceful moment would inevitably disappear. Woo Tae-hwon, who murdered the Chairman he served. Woo Tae-hwon, the fugitive who betrayed Gyeongjeong. If that Woo Tae-hwon, who rejected Kwon Rae-i outright, returned, the strange peace they had barely reached would inevitably be shattered.
So, Tae-hwon didn’t want to find himself.
He didn’t need lost memories.
That’s what he was sure of, but for some reason, he felt like he had to figure out the vague shadow in his dream.
“Young master. I think I’ve forgotten something important.”
“No. It’s not important at all. It doesn’t matter if you don’t regain your memories, Tae-hwon. Why, when you’re in so much pain?”
“But…”
“Listen to me. I’m telling you not to regain them. We’re fine as we are.”
“…”
“We’re together until the end. You said so, Tae-hwon. That you’d be by my side whether I returned to Gyeongjeong or went somewhere else. That’s all I need.”
“…”
“That’s all we need.”
Kwon Rae-i hugged Tae-hwon tightly, trapping him in his arms. He felt a sense of stability from the arms wrapped around his waist and the overlapping legs, and he could see his intention in the facing eyes. He felt like he could understand each and every one of his fluctuating emotions.
As they faced each other’s pale faces, the commotion in his chest subsided, and his headache cleared. The hazy fog that had clouded his memory also seemed to gradually recede. Tae-hwon turned his body, which had been lying on his back, towards Kwon Rae-i. They faced each other in the blanket, sharing each other’s warmth.
Tae-hwon, his mind much calmer, replied.
“I understand.”
His dangerously racing heartbeat gradually subsided. His labored breathing also calmed down, and his serious expression relaxed slightly.
“You’re right, young master.”
Once the headache subsided, he was able to regain his reason.
He had to regain his memories?
When he calmly considered it, there was no reason for Tae-hwon to do so. Even if his memories returned, it would only be a threat and create variables.
‘Murderer. Traitor. Fugitive.’
He had been wary of his thirty-year-old self all along, but he didn’t know what he was worried about for a moment.
“I feel the same way. There’s no way it would be beneficial for us to find the lost memories.”
Tae-hwon slowly reached out and hugged Kwon Rae-i back. He wrapped his arms around his broad back and felt the texture of his muscles with his fingertips, following the scales of the ascending dragon. He felt like he was reading his breath with his skin every time Kwon Rae-i exhaled and inhaled. And he would be reading Tae-hwon’s breath as well.
“I don’t want to be separated from you, young master.”
“Tae-hwon.”
“We have plans to plant sweet potatoes, see acacias, once everything is over. Recalling the past will only ruin the future.”