By Zephyria 
“It’s an arm that can’t even move properly anyway. I asked for the Young Master’s succession and safety in exchange for one broken arm.”
“What?”
“I had no choice.”
“Did you distrust me that much?”
Kwon Rae-i glared at Tae-hwon, who stood before him, with fierce eyes. Cracks appeared on his dazzlingly pale face, and his expression slowly distorted. Kwon Rae-i trembled his lower lip resentfully, as if suffering from terrible pain. His eyes also shook violently.
The bitter emotion that filled his heart was poured entirely onto Tae-hwon.
“I never asked Tae-hwon to step in. I told you that you could rely on me. Why, why does Tae-hwon always leave me behind and go ahead alone?”
“No.”
Tae-hwon reached out his arms and grabbed his injured hand. Then, he covered it with his palm.
“It’s not the Young Master I distrust, but Woo Tae-hwon, myself.”
He tried to press down hard to stop the bleeding, but it seemed he lacked strength, and the blood continued to flow. Tae-hwon resented his uncooperative right arm, which wouldn’t move as he wished, and put all his will into both hands to stop the bleeding.
“Ha, why Tae-hwon. Because of the injury? They say you can recover with rehabilitation.”
“…I have thought of the Young Master, presumptuously, as my own child since you were young.”
Gradually, strength entered his fingertips.
Before he knew it, the trembling of his arm had stopped. His right arm, which had not been able to exert strength even after a long period of rehabilitation, now seemed to finally move as he intended.
“If I had a family, I thought it would be like this. Peaceful and cozy. I’m just a guy who crawled into the organization after living a bottom-of-the-barrel life in the sewers, but the time I spent with the Young Master meant that to me. But… after 10 years, it’s as if the world has been destroyed, and everything has changed.”
The voice that had started out calmly gradually escaped control. The voice coming out of his mouth gradually gained strength and became louder and clearer. At the end of that, even emotions overflowed.
The stuffy resentment that had been stagnant in the bottom of his heart was mixed into his voice and spat out.
“The Young Master is no longer young, and I am no longer in a position to take care of you.”
“…”
“What should I do? How do you want me to protect the Young Master?”
It wasn’t just because the tendons in his arm were severed.
The energy that was deeply rooted in the life of the human being called Woo Tae-hwon was cut off. Because he had lost the only thing that was valuable to Tae-hwon in an instant.
Therefore, Tae-hwon became powerless.
A useless burden who had lost his memories and couldn’t use his arm. At best, all he could do was receive Kwon Rae-i’s affection, and he couldn’t even return that affection. The plan he had tried to end by sacrificing his life had failed miserably.
Nevertheless, the reason Tae-hwon was able to endure this far was because he was used to crises and had a long-standing habit of accepting his unfortunate fate. Hardship and pain were his life companions. He swallowed his suffering and killed his hope.
“I am a traitor. I am a half-wit who is not in good health and has lost his memory. I am not even in a position to step forward, the Young Master has become the heir of Jeun, and President Hwang has become his backer, so… now it’s my turn to cut off my lingering feelings.”
In fact, what Tae-hwon gave up in this place was not just his right arm.
“I can no longer treat the Young Master with the same heart as before. Woo Tae-hwon that I knew. Kwon Rae-i that I knew. Everything is shattered. The stability that I thought I had finally gained was torn to shreds, and I can never go back to that time. So, in order for me to shake off my remaining feelings and completely end it, even if it means cutting off my arm…! I was just trying to fulfill my role for the last time.”
“Tae-hwon.”
Kwon Rae-i, who was listening to that cry, was as stiff as a marble statue, and his eyes were burning as if the still uncooled anger was rising hotly. And Tae-hwon, who was facing him, was boiling with the same temperature. He was surprised that he could be so hot.
“That way, I too… I thought I could barely accept it.”
Finally, his voice faded.
His head was empty, and he couldn’t say anything anymore. His body, which had been excited in the extreme situation, no longer moved. Gradually, his throat became choked, and his eyes turned red. His heart was beating fast, supplying blood to every part of his body.
What Tae-hwon took out of his heart and spat out was his completely broken treasure.
The only valuable and precious family love that Woo Tae-hwon possessed. The paternal love. He acknowledged and accepted that the emotions he wanted to protect even by sacrificing his life for Gyeongjeong were now faded fragments of the past. Woo Tae-hwon could no longer think of Kwon Rae-i as just a young master. He was not the innocent and weak ten-year-old child he knew.
He was a grown adult male, and despite being born with the misfortune of being a concubine’s son in the Gyeongjeong Faction, he was a strong man who had risen through the thorny path. Every time he touched his muscular body, every time he saw his beautifully completed face, he felt Kwon Rae-i’s growth on his skin.
Furthermore, he had even reached the point of wondering and regretting his lost 10 years. He wanted to know how he had lived through the past years, and he regretted the fact that he had missed his growth. He began to think about what Kwon Rae-i’s transformation in his lost memories would have been like.
Most importantly, as he had asserted, Tae-hwon now relied on Kwon Rae-i. He had no choice. He was Woo Tae-hwon’s only ally. To the point where it could be called a reversal of roles, Kwon Rae-i was no different from Woo Tae-hwon’s protector. Kwon Rae-i was the one who treated Tae-hwon, Kwon Rae-i was the one who hid him, and Kwon Rae-i was the one who protected him.
Even in this situation, he could not say that he still looked like a ten-year-old child. His feelings could not be treated as a naive infatuation or a fantasy of first love with rose-colored glasses. Rather, Woo Tae-hwon was now embarrassed by Kwon Rae-i’s heavy and burdensome feelings.
Every time he rushed in, craving affection, he occasionally felt a chill. Every time he blatantly revealed his possessiveness, was jealous, and treated Woo Tae-hwon specially and cherished him, he felt like something was twisting little by little somewhere in his heart. Sometimes, he felt like his heart was sinking, and he had sleepless nights due to guilt and anxiety. Then, when he fell asleep, he had nightmares that traced his past.
He had endured without showing any signs, but in fact, Tae-hwon was having a hard time.
There were many times when he wanted to punch the wall and roar because he was frustrated and resentful.
Although Kwon Rae-i said that everything was okay, that he should forget everything about the past and only look at the present…
“…Yes.”
Kwon Rae-i fiercely hugged Tae-hwon, who was standing silently, and trapped him in his arms. Rough breaths flowed from him.
“I understand.”
His body was hot and hard. He was holding Tae-hwon with all his strength, and the veins on his arms were bulging and his muscles were swelling. Tae-hwon also did not give in and hugged Kwon Rae-i with the same strength. With his right arm, which he had almost lost, he hugged his back and held him tightly.
“It’s okay now. Tae-hwon. Everything…”
Kwon Rae-i hugged Tae-hwon and trembled. The heartbeats of each other were beating heavily out of sync. He felt his violent trembling through his overlapping chest.
“I understand everything.”
“…”
“I was too hasty.”
Kwon Rae-i had been too excited all along. He was just happy that Tae-hwon seemed to be in his hands, and he was also trembling with anxiety that Tae-hwon would leave.
Even though Tae-hwon had lost everything.
Even though he was already in a situation where nothing was left.
Tae-hwon shook his head calmly.
“The Young Master shouldn’t blame yourself. It’s just that I…”
It was not Kwon Rae-i’s fault. Rather, he was able to endure this far thanks to him being by his side. Because Kwon Rae-i was by his side, because he unconditionally supported and longed for Tae-hwon, thanks to that, Tae-hwon owed his life and was able to continue living.
Even now.
Even at this very moment.
“I am…”