By Zephyria 
“Is young master’s position guaranteed?”
Tae-hwon raised his head and asked with a resolute tone. The rain of worries and concerns gradually cleared, and his vision became clear. The light from the lamps reflected off the vinyl spread on the floor, filling the surroundings with shimmering light.
“If President Hwang accepts him, can young master Rae-i live?”
At Tae-hwon’s question, President Hwang took a puff of his cigarette and scattered the smoke as he affirmed.
“Of course.”
Tae-hwon was not satisfied with that and demanded a more definite promise.
“Give me proof that you guarantee young master as your successor.”
“There’s nothing to guarantee. He was always the one to take over from me. It’s that crazy bastard’s doing that he threw it all away.”
“That’s not enough. Even if things go wrong with Gyeongjeong, Jeun must protect young master to the end. President Hwang, please guarantee it.”
“…How ridiculous. Woo Tae-hwon, you abandoned Kwon Rae-i first and now you’re telling me to protect him?”
“I apologize, but I don’t know the inside story from before I lost my memory. However, right now, young master’s safety is the most important thing to me.”
As they exchanged words, a slight tremor ran through him. His spine straightened, and his posture became more forceful. Tae-hwon was restrained and bound, but he did not seem like a suppressed man. At least, his mind was free. It could reach anywhere.
“Even though it’s an arm with severed tendons, it’s still an arm that used to wield a knife. If I give you this arm, I’ll lose even the hope of rehabilitation and become completely helpless. I won’t be able to protect young master anymore and will end up being a complete burden.”
“The possibility of him harming Rae-i will disappear too. A helpless burden is better than a traitor.”
“You are absolutely right. I don’t care about that now. I even wish my memories would never return. So… in exchange for giving President Hwang this useless arm, I must receive a definite promise.”
“……”
“Please take care of young master.”
“……”
“For the sake of this useless arm, please take care of young master.”
“Huh.”
President Hwang let out a hollow laugh as if he couldn’t believe it. Then, with a cigarette in his mouth, he put his hands in his suit pants pockets and stood in front of Tae-hwon, who was bound by leather straps. It was as if a huge wall had appeared before him.
Tae-hwon rarely felt overwhelmed by such a large physique. President Hwang stood silently and looked down at Tae-hwon, then spat the half-smoked cigarette at Tae-hwon as if spitting out phlegm.
“I will.”
Pale gray ashes scattered.
The cigarette butt that fell on the vinyl floor burned, emitting a pungent smoke.
“Kwon Rae-i is like my own son. I swear on Hwang Jin-soo’s name.”
His black eyes were visible right in front of him. President Hwang’s eyes shone as if they held a lamp.
Tae-hwon did not know all of Hwang Jin-soo’s life, but he felt he could trust at least that one look.
“I will guarantee his safety.”
“…Yes. I understand.”
Tae-hwon nodded slowly.
“I will gladly give you my arm. Take it.”
It was a strange feeling. Complex emotions swirled within him.
The sense of loss from giving up a part of his body, combined with worry for Kwon Rae-i, and thoughts about the time he had lost, made him dizzy.
Tae-hwon had filled the void of family he had felt his whole life through Kwon Rae-i, and in the end, he had been saved. Every time he saw Kwon Rae-i, a warm sense of fulfillment bloomed from somewhere in his heart. But now, that was no longer possible. Ten years had passed, and Tae-hwon had driven Kwon Rae-i out of his embrace, and Kwon Rae-i had gained the backing of President Hwang and Jeun.
President Hwang seemed to genuinely regard Kwon Rae-i as his successor, and he even thought of him as his own son.
This had deep meaning for Tae-hwon, who had treated the ten-year-old young master like his own son.
‘I should let go.’
The pseudo-father-son relationship had now become President Hwang’s place, not Woo Tae-hwon’s.
Tae-hwon was no longer in a position to dare to treat young master like his own child.
So, he could no longer dismiss his feelings for him as paternal love or familial affection.
Ten years had passed, and the situation between the two had completely changed, so shouldn’t their relationship change accordingly?
‘But….’
He didn’t know.
Standing in the midst of change, what was he worrying about? The endless flow was leading Tae-hwon forward, but why did his eyes keep looking back?
Tae-hwon was still wandering alone, unable to find a clear answer.
Kwon Rae-i flaunted his ardent love and craved affection, but Tae-hwon was not in a position to accept his feelings. Yet, Tae-hwon still cherished and worried about him. Even though he was a man he could no longer treat as a son. He could never label this feeling as love, but it was undeniable that Kwon Rae-i’s existence was influencing Tae-hwon.
“Woo-shik. Cut it off.”
“Yes, sir.”
Ah. This is the end.
At that moment, his breathing slowed.
The flow of time lengthened as if stretching a rubber band, and every minor element around him entered his mind.
The brightly shining light of the lamps, the sound of people breathing, the direction of the wind, the dryness of winter, and even the minute scratches on the walls. His heightened senses felt everything without missing a single detail. The sound of the approaching man’s footsteps was swallowed by the vinyl, rustling, and the arm raised upwards was directed towards the knot that secured the Guillotine blade.
The blue-sharpened blade contained a terrifying sharpness, enough to split his arm at the bone.
The instinct to live struggled and tried to move Tae-hwon’s body. The desire for survival surged, wanting to break free from the restraints and jump up from his seat immediately. However, Tae-hwon suppressed his instincts and endured to the end. He couldn’t bear to show a pathetic, struggling figure.
His strongly clenched jaw ached as if it would break, and his clenched arm trembled faintly with cold sweat. The man named Woo-shik began to untie the knot.
Murderous intent flooded the darkness.
At that moment, the last thought that occurred to Tae-hwon was somewhat futile.
‘If I had known it would turn out like this, should I have acted a little more selfishly?’
The color white came to mind.
He thought of Kwon Rae-i, who was like an angel, a mermaid, a lily, as if he had gathered all the purity in the world and created him.
Before his arm was cut off, he should have touched his soft, fluffy hair a little more. Instead of pretending to be aloof, he should have combed it with his fingers as he pleased.
The same went for his soft ears. He wondered why he had hesitated when it was so easy to gently caress those sensitive ears that were so easily embarrassed.
He could have just touched them.
He could have just touched them as he pleased.
He should have hugged Kwon Rae-i tightly when he had both hands intact. As much as he clung to him, suffocating and pressing down on him, Tae-hwon could have hugged him back just as tightly.
When they kissed, he should have held his cheeks in both hands and kissed him. He had only opened his lips as if he had no choice, and then vaguely glossed over it. Why was he so reserved about it?
What was it? What was it about that?
What was Woo Tae-hwon himself?
Where did the feeling of denial come from, and what was its origin?
What had been blocking Tae-hwon like this?
He thought there was a distance as high as a mountain and as deep as the sea between Kwon Rae-i and Woo Tae-hwon.
He firmly believed that the two could never be together and that their relationship required a proper distance.
Because he was like a son, like a child. Because he wanted to protect the young sprout.
But, just, apart from all that.
Couldn’t he have comforted Kwon Rae-i when his arm was still intact?
The barrier that he had believed he could never cross suddenly blurred. The obstacle in front of him might have been himself. When he had the chance, when his arm was still whole, he could have stroked his back, touched his hair, pinched his cheeks, held his hand, and just… he could have just done it. Perhaps he had missed it himself.
Just like Woo Tae-hwon of ten years later had made a foolish mistake with Kwon Rae-i.
He suddenly wondered if he had done something he would regret.
‘What’s the use of saying that now.’
Confused thoughts swirled endlessly.
After a long period of endurance, the firmly fixed knot was gradually untied, and the cold metal was about to be freed. The blade, which had been fixed high as if it would reach the ceiling, was finally released and descended with the force of gravity.
A pouring omen.
The large blade fell towards Tae-hwon’s right arm.
The position was exactly above the elbow joint, the upper arm.