By Zephyria 
“Yes, Tae-hwon. What is it?”
Kwon Rae-i tilted his head lightly and asked back, and Tae-hwon opened his dry lips and asked.
“That confession you’re making… who is it for?”
“Who? Of course, it’s for Tae-hwon.”
“That’s not it. I mean, aren’t your feelings directed at the thirty-year-old me? The me who has no memories doesn’t fall into that category.”
“…Huh? Tae-hwon. What are you talking about?”
Kwon Rae-i frowned his handsome eyes as if he was dumbfounded and stared at Tae-hwon intently. He seemed to be trying to observe and read every thought that Tae-hwon had in making such a statement.
“Whether Woo Tae-hwon is twenty or forty, I like him all the same. That’s only natural.”
He replied without a moment’s hesitation, as if stating the immutable truth that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. But Tae-hwon didn’t readily accept that answer.
“You’ve always told me that the ten-year-old Kwon Rae-i is different from the twenty-year-old Kwon Rae-i.”
Yes. That was the problem.
Kwon Rae-i’s before and after 10 years are not the same, so how can Woo Tae-hwon’s before and after 10 years be the same?
Even Tae-hwon himself was feeling a great sense of distance from the Woo Tae-hwon of 10 years later. He understood in his head that that bastard was himself, but he couldn’t possibly regard him as himself.
So he couldn’t help but be suspicious of his unilateral and ardent feelings pouring out to him.
Kwon Rae-i’s love was directed at the thirty-year-old him. Not the twenty-year-old him. People have changed, so how can feelings be the same?
“That’s because Tae-hwon only sees me as a child. It was meant to make you see the current me more properly.”
Kwon Rae-i reached out and poked Tae-hwon’s cheek.
His finger slightly crumpled the face that was as hard as a stone. Tae-hwon’s cheeks weren’t as smooth as Kwon Rae-i’s.
“Or think about it the other way around. If I turned thirty, would Tae-hwon treat me like a different person and pretend not to know me?”
“…I don’t know about that.”
“If you don’t know, just think about me right now in front of you and Tae-hwon next to me right now. We’re both twenty years old, the same age. And we do a lot of dirty things.”
“Ha, how can you just dismiss it like that? My memories might not come back anytime soon.”
“Still. Later is later, and it’s not now.”
Kwon Rae-i fiddled with Tae-hwon’s cheek, then moved his hand to the side and brought it to his ear. He gently stroked the round curve of the auricle and whispered in Tae-hwon’s ear.
“Right now, we’re like friends.”
“Young master…”
“I like the younger Tae-hwon so much it’s suffocating. Our relationship is as good as it can be. I’ve told you that repeatedly, so much so that I’m sick of it. Are you still confused about this?”
Kwon Rae-i kissed Tae-hwon’s ear and murmured in a low voice.
“How can I not love such a soft and cute Tae-hwon?”
It was as if he was hammering in a nail to make sure he never asked such a question again.
“Or should I express myself more?”
“What kind of expression…”
“How about using informal speech? Or even changing the title altogether.”
His voice seemed to dig into his ear canal and resonate to his brain. His forehead was throbbing with heat. It was embarrassing, difficult, and strange. But he couldn’t escape.
“Try saying Rae-i once.”
“Yes?”
“Say Rae-i. I’ll say Tae-hwon.”
“Why are you suddenly talking about that? Changing the title doesn’t change the situation, and above all, you are my young master.”
“Just do it. I just want to do that.”
Kwon Rae-i kissed Tae-hwon’s ear and swept his hair behind his ear. Tae-hwon’s short black hair had grown a little longer because he was trapped, so it caught on his ear and fell over.
“Tae-hwon.”
“…”
“My cute and lovely Tae-hwon. Baby Woo Tae-hwon.”
“…”
“Even the fact that you’re not aware of yourself is so adorable. My heart flutters and I get impatient the more I see you, but why doesn’t our baby Tae-hwon know this easy thing?”
His dazzling white hair reflected the light of the fireplace in beautiful rainbow colors. His vision blurred for a moment, and a strange illusion occurred. It seemed like a faint floral scent was wafting through the smell of books in the study. There was no way the sweet-smelling scent of honey-like flowers could enter this interior, so he didn’t know what kind of illusion it was.
Maybe his hair, which was flowing thinly next to Tae-hwon, was an acacia flower.
Among the many things that could be used to compare him, maybe an acacia tree had been added.
“How is it? Isn’t it a little different?”
He didn’t hate the way he persistently dug into him, seeking his consent.
It was still burdensome, but if he thought of it as a fleeting moment created by chance, a momentary breeze, it wasn’t so bad. Wasn’t the sum of the incredible accidents and disasters that couldn’t happen under normal circumstances the meeting of these two?
Woo Tae-hwon had fallen into a miserable state, lost his memory as a result, and faced Kwon Rae-i’s feelings. These results wouldn’t have come about without a miracle.
‘We’re like friends…?’
Both twenty years old, the same age… Does that make sense? It’s irrational and illogical.
But. If that were possible.
‘If I were the same age as the young master. That’s right.’
If Kwon Rae-i and Woo Tae-hwon had grown up and met in their current forms, he didn’t know what it would have been like. Not the meeting of ten-year-old Kwon Rae-i and twenty-year-old Woo Tae-hwon, but the meeting of twenty-year-old Kwon Rae-i and twenty-year-old Woo Tae-hwon. If they had gotten to know each other in an equal state without the gap in years and experience, would something have been different? What would it have felt like if they had seen each other for the first time and opened their hearts at that time? What would have been different from now?
‘Even then… would it be like this?’
Kwon Rae-i is like this, and Woo Tae-hwon is like this?
Kwon Rae-i is twenty and Woo Tae-hwon is twenty. If that were the case, he might not have doubted his feelings as much as he does now.
Entangled with each other, reading books, talking about acacia trees, drawing a distant future, and just like that…
Naturally…
‘At least it would have been more peaceful than this.’
That Woo Tae-hwon would be qualified to discuss the future with Kwon Rae-i.
‘But not me.’
Tae-hwon just nodded silently in agreement and held Kwon Rae-i in his arms. He hugged his back clinging to him and gave him strength. His body hugging him was hot and his heart was beating violently.
Whatever he was thinking, it was just a futile assumption for the current Tae-hwon. He couldn’t just fall into this life with Kwon Rae-i, leaving all the realistic and serious problems behind and losing his mind. Tae-hwon was too responsible for that, and that’s why he had to protect Kwon Rae-i.
Although it was a completely different meaning from Kwon Rae-i, Woo Tae-hwon was also desperate.
“It’s quite different to hear informal speech. It feels strange.”
“Haha, then hurry up. Tae-hwon, speak informally to me too. Rae-i. Call me Rae-i.”
“Hoo… Anyway, you’re going to keep nagging and insisting until I do it, aren’t you?”
“That’s right.”
Kwon Rae-i hugged Tae-hwon, who was hugging him, and rubbed his lips against his ear. The sensation of his soft lower lip touching his was ticklish. It was also warm. Kwon Rae-i was a big, heavy, and overflowing existence that was too much for him.
“Anyway, we don’t know when Tae-hwon’s memories will come back, and the fact that you’re wanted isn’t something that the current Tae-hwon did. It’s no use for Tae-hwon to worry about that. But the current Tae-hwon can be friends with me. Only twenty-year-old Woo Tae-hwon can do that.”
“…”
“No one but the current Tae-hwon can do that for me.”
“…”
“Got it, Tae-hwon? Huh?”
Tae-hwon stroked his back. He gently caressed him as if he was coaxing a child, then slowly his rough hand went up to his head. He blinked slowly as he stroked his hair along the back of his neck.
He could see the round and pretty ears protruding between his snow-white hair. Tae-hwon touched his earlobe with his fingertips and gently massaged it. It was as soft as glutinous rice cake dough.
Kwon Rae-i kept talking nonsense to Tae-hwon, saying that he was getting soft and cute, but in Tae-hwon’s eyes, it was him, not himself, who was soft and cute. Kwon Rae-i was so adorable. Lovely. Crazy. Beautiful. It seemed like such a human being would never be born again in the world.
“Okay. Then just once.”
Tae-hwon calmly took a breath.
And he called him casually as if nothing had happened. Rae-i.
As if the moment with him was neither cold nor hot, as if he wasn’t swayed by the wind that would soon die down, as if he had never seen or been drawn to dazzling light. Burying the faint scent of acacia deep under his heart…