By Zephyria 
* * *
The study on the second floor was a quiet and dignified space where time seemed to have stopped. The walls, painted in a deep green color, looked as mysterious as the depths of the sea, and dark brown bookcases with a deep wood color were lined up densely.
On the high shelves behind the bookcase were small ornaments and green flowerpots, and in the center was a landscape with armchairs and soft beige sofas. And in front of it was a cozy fireplace lamp that maintained a warm atmosphere even in the season before winter. It wasn’t a real fireplace that burned firewood, but just a lavishly decorated lamp, but the sight of the crimson flames dancing and flickering was a key interior design element that added coziness to the space.
It was truly the perfect place to enjoy reading and contemplation. Of course, Tae-hwon hadn’t been able to read a single line of a book since earlier.
He was sitting comfortably on the sofa, holding a book open, but the contents didn’t enter his head at all.
‘Should I have chosen a different book?’
He had just picked up whatever he could grab, but he should have been a little more careful. Tae-hwon glanced at the title ‘Crime and Punishment’ written on the cover and frowned.
‘Well, I’ve never held a book in my life.’
Tae-hwon, whose education was only middle school, and even then, he had never properly attended classes. He couldn’t be familiar with letters. Moreover, he was not in a state of mind to focus on such a book right now.
Tae-hwon slowly rolled his black eyes and glanced at Kwon Rae-i, who was sitting next to him and concentrating on his book. He was leaning on Tae-hwon, reading in a slanting position. The pages were turning well, and the reading speed was quite fast. It seemed like he was speed-reading.
‘Is it fun?’
Tae-hwon suspiciously looked at him. The young master he remembered didn’t seem to like books that much, but Kwon Rae-i was reading the densely written sentences without hesitation. Just like he had become an excellent swimmer even though he was afraid of water, the current Kwon Rae-i might have become addicted to reading.
‘Well, it was strange from the beginning that there was such a huge study in the house.’
The densely filled bookcase felt foreign from the first time he saw it.
Tae-hwon took a deep breath inside and lifted his left hand to rub his dry eyes. His eyes were dry because he had been staring at letters that didn’t enter his head. He wasn’t very interested in the content either. Rather, Tae-hwon was actually in a situation where he had too many things to worry about other than books.
The fireplace lamp was burning brightly and warm air was blowing. The entire study was wrapped in warm colors. However, Tae-hwon’s mind was thinking of icy cold colors.
Blue waves and swelling air bubbles. Surging currents.
The white Kwon Rae-i, who looked like a mermaid…
His image kept coming to mind. He was deeply submerged in the water, kissing Tae-hwon’s palm through a glass wall. It was etched in his retina and came to mind clearly.
‘Haa…’
Why. He didn’t know why thinking about him that day made him want to sigh.
Yes. Maybe now he had to admit that Woo Tae-hwon had been underestimating Kwon Rae-i’s feelings. He was more desperately in love with Tae-hwon than he had expected, and he was suffering from a feverish emotion without resting for a moment. Moreover, the symptoms were getting more and more serious.
He was slowly starting to realize that Kwon Rae-i had made up his mind to give his whole life for Woo Tae-hwon.
Just like Tae-hwon had decided to give his life for his future.
He still didn’t want to believe it, but Kwon Rae-i’s determination seemed to be no less than his. If left like this, he would blindly run to Woo Tae-hwon and ruin himself. Like throwing himself off a cliff that was sure to fall.
‘Why to a traitor like me?’
Tae-hwon couldn’t understand at all.
Knowing the result so well, why was he trying to run off a cliff?
The thirty-year-old Woo Tae-hwon is a murderer, a traitor, and a fugitive. He is an irredeemable piece of garbage. What’s so good about someone like that? Why?
Anyway, if Woo Tae-hwon regains his memory, he will be betrayed again.
He would be miserably abandoned and hurt.
‘Why is young master so attached to a tragedy with a predictable ending?’
Kwon Rae-i must give up Woo Tae-hwon.
All situations were pointing to only that one answer.
Even if Kwon Rae-i keeps Woo Tae-hwon with him, he is just a time bomb that could explode at any time. They may be living peacefully on the surface now, but there were dangerous factors everywhere.
He didn’t know when Gyeongjeong would find Woo Tae-hwon, he didn’t know when Kwon Rae-i, who had hidden the wanted man, would be harmed, and even if that wasn’t the case, if Tae-hwon suddenly regained his memory one day, it would just be over.
The twenty-year-old Woo Tae-hwon might accept it. But the thirty-year-old Woo Tae-hwon would never accept Kwon Rae-i’s heart.
‘Not only will he hurt him, but he’ll just tear that young, innocent heart to shreds.’
Knowing the ending that was about to come, how could the current Tae-hwon promise him such a dreamy and futile future, such as ‘together’ or ‘living in harmony’?
Even if he promised, it would be the thirty-year-old Woo Tae-hwon, who might regain his memory someday, who would actually put it into practice.
‘Damn it.’
A grudge settled in Tae-hwon’s eyes. A sharp, eerie feeling like a dagger was contained in his bright eyes. He was just frustrated by the powerlessness that he couldn’t do anything. Kwon Rae-i too. Until now, he had been trying to make him bored and lose interest in Tae-hwon, but it didn’t work as he wanted, and rather, his heart was wavering towards Kwon Rae-i.
Unexpectedly, his body opened up first, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore his words begging for affection. He was quite confused right now. He was worried that Tae-hwon would not be able to do anything and would just let time pass by.
‘No. I have to do at least one thing.’
Tae-hwon renewed his determination.
The original plan was to make Kwon Rae-i’s feelings cool down and to have him come to Gyeongjeong on his own two feet to pay the price for betrayal and murder.
But if he couldn’t achieve both, shouldn’t he at least accomplish one of them?
‘Even if I can’t control the young master’s feelings. The latter…’
Going to Gyeongjeong to offer his head was something even the current Tae-hwon could realize. Getting out of this house, blocked by iron bars like an impregnable fortress, was a bit of an obstacle, though.
‘I’ll have to look for an escape method little by little. Seeing Han-seon, the attending physician, coming in and out of the house, there must be a way.’
Tae-hwon let out a faint sigh and closed the book. He wasn’t in the mood to hold a book because of his restless heart. He chose it because the title was ‘Crime and Punishment,’ but it seemed like the wrong choice.
As Tae-hwon placed the book on the side table next to the sofa, Kwon Rae-i naturally snuggled up to him.
“Haaam. Tae-hwon, did you finish reading it?”
He yawned languidly, then closed the book after him and wrapped his arms around Tae-hwon’s waist, pulling him close. He buried his face in his chest and laid Tae-hwon down on the sofa altogether. Tae-hwon put his hand on his clinging hair and replied.
“Yeah, well.”
“How was it? The pages didn’t even turn.”
“…Reading doesn’t seem to be my hobby.”
“Haha, you’re cute.”
Kwon Rae-i kissed Tae-hwon on the shirt he was wearing, giggling. Tae-hwon thought that he never got tired of kissing him all over the place every time he was kissed.
“What’s cute about this? It’s just ignorant.”
“No. Tae-hwon lives a busier and more intense life than the characters in books. Reading is a hobby enjoyed by people whose lives are peaceful.”
“You’re at least saying nice things.”
“Maybe if Tae-hwon goes abroad with me later and has more time and peace of mind, he’ll be able to enjoy books then.”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure if that will happen…”
“Or not. There are so many hobbies to enjoy in the world. I want to do this and that with Tae-hwon alone. Play billiards together, play tennis, go on picnics, go hiking, swim in the sea… Oh, right. And tend the garden!”
Kwon Rae-i’s voice grew louder as if he was excited.
“There was a garden in the Separate House we used to live in. Do you remember there was a small acacia sapling there? It’s grown quite a bit in the last 10 years, and it blooms white acacia flowers every year, and the scent is really nice.”
“…”
“Since the current Tae-hwon hasn’t seen it, let’s plant acacia trees when we tend the garden together later. I’d like to smell that scent with Tae-hwon.”
Tae-hwon’s expression hardened as he listened silently. His face was as cloudy as the sky before a downpour. Soon, he became quite serious. He mulled over the conflict in his heart that had swelled like a riverbank bursting, and finally threw out a sighing question.
“Young master, but…”
Was it right to utter these words now? Was it right to swallow them? Anyway, the tune was struck, and the flag planted in Tae-hwon’s head began to flutter. The wind was blowing.