By Zephyria 
Beginning: <Cream Mansion> has been submitted to Cannes. Whether it will be invited to the competition category is something not only the film industry but the entire country is currently paying attention to. What do you think, Mr. Hyeon-seo? Do you think <Cream Mansion> can bring Director Kang Woo-hyun his first award at Cannes?
Hyeon-seo: I don’t think it’s for me to say this or that. The film is the director’s work, and if we can be part of Cannes, it would be a great honor for me, but I don’t believe the meaning of the work fades just because it isn’t invited or doesn’t win an award.
Beginning: That’s a very model answer. Then, I’ll try a slightly cautious but honest question this time. If it’s uncomfortable to answer, please feel free to pass (laughs).
Hyeon-seo: I’m a little scared of what you’re about to ask.
Beginning: People say that you’ve changed significantly after ‘that incident’ that we all know about. Do you agree with that statement?
Hyeon-seo: Whether you believe it or not, since I don’t remember myself before ‘that incident,’ I don’t actually feel that I’ve changed. However, since I’ve studied my past self, I understand why people say that. Recently, I’m grateful that more people seem to be saying I’ve changed for the better.
Beginning: The expression ‘studied yourself’ is impressive. Losing your memory means, in a way, losing over 20 years of your life. You might feel a sense of injustice; how do you feel?
Hyeon-seo: I try not to dwell on a past I cannot remember. I’m also satisfied with the present. Because I focus only on the present and future, I look forward to getting older. Especially turning 55. Though I can’t tell you the reason why.
I plan to work harder to build my skills so that I can express and share the things I feel and experience through acting and music.
Beginning: I’m not sure if I should put it this way, but I’ve interviewed you in the past. Back when you weren’t ‘Hyeon-seo’ yet, but were still ‘Yoon Hye-an.’ At the time, you seemed somewhat rushed, as if you didn’t have the leisure to look around you. One thing is clear: today’s Hyeon-seo feels much more at ease. I will look forward to the world of your own that you will share with your fans through music and acting.
Todotok, todotok.
Using the sound of rain tapping on the car window as music, Lee Hae-sung finished reading the interview thoroughly. It was exactly his fourth time reading it.
After that, he returned to the pictorial on the front page.
As much as he had experienced ups and downs, Choi Hong-seo’s expressions and gaze in the pictorial had become richer and deeper. Yet, in the photos where he was smiling brightly, he still looked like an innocent boy, and in another photo where he stared into the lens wearing a deep V-neck knit, a sexy man who knew love and eros was revealed.
And in every photo, the image of his former self lingered even more strongly. The image of the old Choi Hong-seo.
Even if others didn’t notice, it was visible to Lee Hae-sung.
Even if others didn’t know, those who had been intimate with the past Choi Hong-seo couldn’t help but be reminded of him in the current Hyeon-seo.
However, strictly speaking, he wasn’t exactly the same as the past Choi Hong-seo.
It was only natural.
It was after he had experienced things the past Choi Hong-seo never had, after he had been liberated from the trap that had confined the past Choi Hong-seo, and because he was living while giving and receiving infinite love.
Lee Hae-sung loved the Choi Hong-seo who was changing anew by his side even more than before.
“Vice Chairman, it looks like they’re coming out.”
At the low report from the driver’s seat, Lee Hae-sung looked up. Choi Hong-seo’s companions, who had been sitting by the window visible diagonally, were standing up from their seats.
He had arrived and been waiting for about 20 minutes, but because he had parked in a spot that Choi Hong-seo’s back was to, they hadn’t noticed him until now.
Lee Hae-sung also closed the magazine, opened his umbrella, and stepped out.
Todotok, todotok. The tapping of the spring rain on the umbrella didn’t feel bad.
“What if we don’t get invited, Hyung? We will, right? Even if we don’t win, we’ll be invited, right?”
“It would be great if we did… but I don’t know either.”
“When else would we get a chance to go to Cannes. I really hope we… do…”
The three people, who had been noisily exiting the door, came to a dead stop under the eaves. As if there were an invisible wall in front of them that they had bumped into.
Lee Hae-sung laughed at the sight of all three flinching simultaneously as if they had made a pact.
“Hello.”
“Hello, Vice… Vice Chairman.”
“Call me whatever you’re comfortable with, Dong-ha.”
Lee Hae-sung bowed his head in return to the greetings of Yong-jae and Park Dong-ha as he approached.
“Vice Chairman is very comfortable. Hyung, then… get home safe.”
Contrary to the word ‘comfortable,’ Park Dong-ha spoke stiffly with an extremely awkward expression and tried to leave the scene as if escaping.
“I heard you two came without a car, so I came to pick up Hyeon-seo. You two can take Hyeon-seo’s car.”
Where Lee Hae-sung pointed, another sedan was parked in front of the sedan he had arrived in. It was the car Choi Hong-seo had used to get around today. An attendant holding an umbrella was waiting in front of the trunk.
This time, Yong-jae stepped forward to decline.
“We… can just take a taxi. Please don’t worry about us.”
“It’s raining, so please ride comfortably. That way, I can earn some points with Hyeon-seo.”
Saying so with a relaxed smile, Lee Hae-sung instructed the waiting attendant, “Please take them.” Only then did the two, pretending to be defeated, say their goodbyes to Lee Hae-sung and Choi Hong-seo and climbed into the back seat of the large sedan.
Once the sedan carrying the two departed, only Lee Hae-sung and Choi Hong-seo remained in the alley.
They faced each other, keeping a distance of about two meters.
Todok, todok, todotok.
The sound of rain falling on Lee Hae-sung’s umbrella sounded pleasant, like comfortable music. The sight of him under the umbrella, set against the moderately darkened night street, was also lovely.
As Choi Hong-seo just stood under the eaves and watched, Lee Hae-sung smiled first.
“I’m hopeless, aren’t I?”
Only then did Choi Hong-seo let out a small laugh.
“Were you so curious about why it’s fifty-five that you couldn’t resist coming to pick me up?”
With the umbrella handle resting on his shoulder, Lee Hae-sung tilted his head crookedly.
“Our Hong-seo still has a long way to go. Do you think my overprotectiveness is only at that level?”
“What do you mean?”
“You were sick until yesterday, so I came to pick you up because I was worried.”
“……”
Lee Hae-sung’s love sometimes launched surprise attacks on Choi Hong-seo like this.
He is a person who loves me infinitely. I know that very well. Even when he thought that, at some moment, the man caught him off guard. That he loves him more than he knows.
Unable to even smile anymore, Choi Hong-seo just looked at Lee Hae-sung with a face that looked as if he might burst into tears. At the man who loved him unbelievably.
Lee Hae-sung approached Choi Hong-seo first and took the umbrella and shopping bag from his hand.
“Give it here.”
“It’s not heavy.”
“Do I only carry it if it’s heavy?”
Taking the luggage while saying that, Lee Hae-sung pulled Choi Hong-seo’s shoulder under his umbrella.
The Sunday night in the alley at the edge of Daehak-ro, where only a few shops were open, was quiet. As the sedan began to move, Lee Hae-sung showed interest in Choi Hong-seo’s shopping bag.
“This is unusual. Actually going shopping. You should have told me if there was anything you needed.”
“That’s… a gift for Hyung.”
“For me?”
“I bought one for myself too, so is it not a gift for Hyung? Anyway… there’s one for Hyung too.”
“Then can I open it?”
When he nodded with a nervous face, Lee Hae-sung took a box out of the shopping bag and began to untie the ribbon.
“Looking at the size and weight, it’s not a tie.”
Fortunately, he looked pleased. However, after opening the box and checking the contents, he wore a slightly puzzled expression.
“Hmm? You said you bought one for Hong-seo too, right? Isn’t this Hong-seo’s?”
“What’s the size?”
“The size is… 54 IT. No matter how much Hong-seo likes oversized, I think this is too big.”
“That is for Hyung. Mine is… here.”
Choi Hong-seo pulled out another box. It was a hoodie, identical to the one that came out of Lee Hae-sung’s box, only different in size.
“When I told them it was a gift for Hyung, the stylist worked hard to find the size.”
“……”
“I can’t wear it when I go out… but just occasionally at home, to set the mood between us…”
Since Lee Hae-sung said nothing, Choi Hong-seo became more talkative.
“…Is it not good? Is it too childish? I deliberately chose a plain design thinking of Hyung… a hoodie was really not the right choice, was it? Should I change it? It’s better to change it, right? I should change it.”
Chattering with an anxious expression, Choi Hong-seo tried to pull the t-shirt from Lee Hae-sung’s hand. But Lee Hae-sung held on tight and didn’t give it back.
“Shall we walk along Sowol-ro for a bit after a long time?”
“Now?”
“Now. Wearing these together.”
“…I’d like that.”
Only then did the shadow disappear from his lover’s face. He looked up at Lee Hae-sung and gave a beautiful smile.
Smiling back, Lee Hae-sung thought. For the rest of his life, he wanted this child to live with only this level of worry.
The nervousness of wondering if the gift prepared for him wouldn’t be to his liking—that level of worry.
Because no matter what Choi Hong-seo prepared, there was no way it wouldn’t be to his liking.
■
The two, who got off near the Namsan Library, walked close together under one umbrella.
Sowol-ro on a rainy Sunday night was quieter than usual.
If he hadn’t been with Lee Hae-sung, he probably would have walked while keeping guard of his surroundings, thinking it was eerie. But simply because he was with him, it felt quite romantic.
“Aren’t you cold?”
Even though he nodded that he wasn’t cold, Lee Hae-sung briefly handed the umbrella to Choi Hong-seo and put the large hood over his head. His expression, as he adjusted the strings so the hood wouldn’t block his vision, was as serious as a mechanic trying to find the cause of a machine failure. As if there were nothing more important than this moment.
“It reminds me of when we hiked in Malibu.”
“Now? Is it because it’s raining?”
“No. Not because of the rain, but because Hyung touched my hood with such a serious face back then too.”
“You’re silly.”
Lee Hae-sung chuckled as he said that, but to Choi Hong-seo, it wasn’t a silly story.
Back then, it was still the ‘adjustment period.’ A time when, even though he had been told that he was seen and believed as Choi Hong-seo and they had slept together, he wasn’t yet called ‘Baby.’ Since they hadn’t completely recovered their past relationship like they had now, some awkwardness remained in how they treated each other.
However, while stealing a glance at Lee Hae-sung’s serious face as he zipped up the jacket and put the hood on the fully grown adult Choi Hong-seo in the rain that day, Choi Hong-seo had decided to stop doubting his words about believing in him.
Even if he wasn’t called ‘Baby,’ he could feel through the way he was treated that he was ‘Baby’ to this man.
Because Lee Hae-sung was the only person who treated Choi Hong-seo that way, and he knew that Choi Hong-seo was the only person in the world Lee Hae-sung would treat with such sincerity.
After finally patting the top of the hood with his palm and smiling, Lee Hae-sung took the umbrella handle back. Then, he wrapped his arm around Choi Hong-seo’s shoulder and pulled him close.
“You’ll get hit by the rain. Wrap your arm around my waist.”
“The rain is just an excuse, isn’t it?”
“Why else would lovers walk around sharing one umbrella?”
“No one will be able to recognize us.”
While hugging Lee Hae-sung’s waist, Choi Hong-seo whispered in a slightly excited voice.