By Zephyria After class ended, Amber returned home. The first thing he felt upon opening the door was silence.
“……Tennessee?”
Suppressing his anxiety, he headed toward the kitchen. Lunch remained untouched. Amber’s pace began to quicken. Woof! Woof! With the clicking sound of claws, Nashville approached and barked.
It couldn’t be. This was Tennessee’s house, he had no reason to leave anymore, and we even…….
Amber, who had opened the room doors gently at first, became increasingly desperate, flinging them open with a loud bang to check inside. Bang! Bang! The bathroom, the bedrooms, the study, and even the pantry. Amber fought to steady his ragged breathing.
Get a grip, there’s no way he would leave me. This is a foolish fear. It was an irrational fear, like being afraid a shark might appear in an indoor swimming pool.
He called, but there was no answer. Tennessee often missed calls and tended to call back when he had the time.
Damn it. Cursing briefly, Amber ran around the house again. Just as Amber’s voice began to tremble while calling for Tennessee, Woof! Nashville barked in the living room. As if telling him to come here.
“……Amber?”
Tennessee’s voice came from the living room. Gasping for air, Amber discovered Tennessee pushing himself up from the sofa. He hadn’t seen him because of the backrest.
Fatigue lingered in his eyes, as if he had only just fallen asleep. Right, he hadn’t been able to sleep for a few days because of work. That must be why he didn’t wake up despite the commotion.
Since living with Amber, Tennessee’s sleep patterns had returned to normal, and there were times when he wouldn’t wake up even to significant household noise. It was a positive change that Amber still occasionally forgot.
“What’s wrong?”
His heart, which had been pounding not from fatigue but from fear, slowly found its rhythm again. Amber clung to him as if hiding.
“I thought you left.”
“Where?”
“Anywhere…….”
Don’t go.
Amber spoke to Tennessee, who flopped back down. Nashville jumped up and landed on the backrest of the sofa. After circling a few times, he settled in. Tennessee’s hand stroked Nashville’s soft fur.
“Come here, Amber.”
Holding Nashville easily with one hand, Tennessee sat up. Amber hugged Tennessee tightly. His trembling body slowly began to stabilize.
The sound of Nashville, caught in the middle, whining echoed within their embrace.
Amber. Amber.
Amber opened his eyes at the small voice. It was still dark. A faint blue light filtered through the window.
“Tennessee? Are you okay?”
Amber sat up, his voice heavy with the early hour of dawn. However, the person who had called him did not answer. Amber found his lover beside him, holding his own face in his hands and holding his breath. It was a panic attack.
“Tennessee.”
Burying his face in his palms, Tennessee breathed shallowly. Amber gently placed his fingertips on the tense arm. After calling him for a long while, he touched his palm, then wrapped his arms around his body and pressed himself close.
34 – Chapter
Tennessee’s severe seizures gradually decreased in intensity. They weren’t so violent that he began to harm himself as he had before. At a glance, it almost looked as if he were having a nightmare. Even in his delirium, he tended to respond frequently to Amber’s words.
“I’m here. I’m right by your side.”
There are some things that cannot be fixed in an instant.
Tennessee’s guilt, the numbness that began as a way to escape that guilt, his boundaries, the nightmares of the past, self-reproach… things like that.
Having climbed up desperately, Amber occasionally looks down. To remind himself that he has come this far. Those memories are the foundation and pillars that construct both himself and Tennessee. Unfortunately, that was the case. He could never sever those days and replace them with something else.
However, if he keeps climbing, there will come a day when the distance becomes so vast that the base of those memories, which started at the bottom, is no longer visible.
“……Haaa…….”
Tennessee let out a long sigh. The sound of his breathing had changed. Perhaps an hour had passed since Amber had held and comforted him; he had finally come to his senses.
He realized his entire body was drenched in sweat. His palms felt numb. Moreover, he was cradled in Amber’s arms.
“I look pathetic.”
Tennessee lamented, wiping the sweat away with the back of his hand.
“Why is that pathetic?”
Amber wrapped his long arms and legs tightly around Tennessee.
“I’m always like this. If leaning on the person I love is pathetic, then I’ll stay pathetic.”
No, it wouldn’t be so bad to become an idiot. I wish you were one too.
Amber wished as he stroked his lover’s sweat-soaked hair. He buried his nose in Tennessee’s hair, which had grown quite long, and took a deep breath of his scent. Tennessee had been right once. After all, they were alive.
“I think,”
Amber whispered quickly, pressing his lips against Tennessee’s cheek.
“I think this is all because of the cigarettes.”
Sensing it was nonsense, Tennessee tried to turn his body, but it was difficult because Amber was wound around him so tightly. His sweat-drenched back was pressed firmly against Amber’s hard, bare chest. All the way down to his hips. He was the perfect big spoon.
“They say cigarettes are the root of all evil. I’m not even asking you to quit, but could you at least cut back a little?”
Since you quit the meds, maybe you can quit the nicotine too?
Smoking is entirely harmful. Above all, it was bad for his health. Amber was making long-term plans to live until one hundred and fifty with Tennessee; if he kept smoking like this, there would be no point in planning. Though, of course, longevity depends on genetics.
“I’ll give you a reward every time you don’t smoke. How about a kiss?”
“Is that a penalty?”
“…….”
Amber decided to use his ultimate move.
“You know my birthday is coming up soon, right?”
After becoming Ryker Dexley, Amber’s birthday had changed. It was a decision made after family discussions, considering Amber’s poor memories of the past.
His family celebrated his birthday grandly every time and showered him with gifts. Sometimes they went on trips or held events. It was certainly a birthday anyone would envy, but this year’s birthday was more special. Because Tennessee would be with him.
“Instead of a gift, grant me a wish.”
Amber left small kisses along the nape of Tennessee’s neck. After receiving kisses for a while, Tennessee soon pulled Amber’s head close. It was a consent.
Amber smiled broadly and kissed him deeply. A burning heat bloomed. From the moment their warm lips locked, Amber’s member began to slowly erect.
“Tennessee…….”
With a sigh, Amber guided Tennessee’s hand between his legs. Tennessee moved his arm softly, gripping the heat that filled his palm. Thin skin rubbed together, revealing the flushed glans.
Tennessee blinked intermittently. There are times when Amber looks at him with such hazy eyes.
His gaze was so blatant to Tennessee, who was accustomed to lies, that it sometimes felt devastating. Amber, whose breathing was beginning to grow ragged, revealed every ounce of his irreversible affection and desire.
Tennessee quickened his hand. Amber, who had curved his waist with a grunt, pulled his body back.
“I want to put it inside; you’ll open up for me, right?”
His earlobes flushed. Ha-ha, Tennessee laughed lowly and opened his arms. Amber, who had been holding him in his embrace, soon reached out. Fumbling through the nightstand and drawers, he let out a small curse and pulled out a drawer entirely, dumping its contents. The lubricant he was sure he had put there was nowhere to be seen in a moment like this. In a pinch, Amber squeezed out some lotion.
“Start from here.”
Tennessee liked putting his fingers in Amber’s mouth. While anything viscous was good for easing insertion, he wanted to see Amber gripping his wrist and groaning, fully exposing his eroticism.
“Come here. Suck it deliciously.”
Approaching on his knees, Amber now familiarly gripped Tennessee’s right hand. He extended his tongue to tickle the palm lines, then took the calluses into his mouth and chewed them softly. Every time he pulled a finger out, a small pop, pop sound echoed. In sync with this, his fully erect member twitched.
“You’re already leaking.”
Despite having carelessly asked him to open up, Amber’s face flushed even redder when he actually heard those words. With a satisfied smile, Tennessee lifted his leg. As he pushed the sole of his foot onto Amber’s hard thigh, the erect member was vividly revealed.
As he tried to withdraw his wet right hand, Amber’s head followed. As if scolding him, Tennessee inserted his still-dry left hand. Whether he noticed the switch or not, Amber was preoccupied with sucking the hand, panting.
“Try shaking your hips while you suck.”
Tennessee preferred it when Amber groaned and didn’t hide his desires. Leaving the wet hand behind, he consciously relaxed his strength. After rubbing his finger against the tightly closed entrance, he inserted only the index finger.
Tennessee had not forgotten the pleasure from last time. He felt that if he inserted his finger deeply, he could reach the epicenter where that strange sensation had crackled.
“Hng, ha…… ha.”
The impatient hand of Amber was already shaking his own member. Tennessee stopped him and moved that hand to Amber’s chest. Both Amber’s top and bottom were standing stiff.
“Amber, press your nipples and shake your hips. Do you feel like you’re going to cum? You can’t go yet. If you feel like you’re going, open your legs. So I can see everything.”
Hazy from the electric sensation, Amber nodded blindly. Amber’s front, beyond just being excited, was soaking wet and angry, as if it would erupt at any moment.
Amber himself didn’t realize it, but he was unconsciously shaking his hips as if thrusting into the air. Following the recoil, his erect member swayed greatly up and down.
Gauging the shaft that was swollen to the point of pain, Tennessee increased the number of fingers.
Haa, what a sight. Looking at the lewdness of Amber immersed in pleasure while shaking his hips alone, it felt as if he could reach a climax with just a little finger-play.
Your penis is filling my hand.
When he threw out words like that, Amber’s neck would turn bright red, and he would press his body close, letting out gasps. He would arch his waist high, and his menacingly erect cock would press hard against the skin.
When was it? Once, while biting Amber’s maple-colored earlobe and pouring out such words, Amber had been unable to hold back and had come right then and there.
“Haa…… the stimulation is too strong.”
“So, do you hate it?”
“I feel like I’m just going to keep leaking…….”
The same went for Tennessee. Unlike Amber, he hadn’t touched or shaken himself, yet Tennessee’s member was swollen.
Catching his ragged breath, Tennessee tried spreading his fingers while inserted, just as Amber had done. The entrance stretched tightly. However, that strange and direct sensation from last time was absent. The pleasure that kept pushing him over the cliff.
“Whew…….”
And Amber stared intently at Tennessee as he touched and widened his own rear. Having adapted to some extent, Tennessee looked up to find Amber putting on a condom.
“I’ll do it for you.”
“Hng— no.”
Avoiding Tennessee’s hand, Amber tore the condom packaging himself. Amber, who couldn’t be said to have much experience, was almost at his limit after a few words of Tennessee’s dirty talk. In such a state, if Tennessee reached out to put on the condom, he might ejaculate without being able to hold it.
Moving his hand up and down as if masturbating, Amber put on the condom and approached while gripping the shaft. Positioning himself between Tennessee’s legs, he pressed his lips firmly against the panting ones, breathing his breath into him.
Foreplay, the afterglow, and of course, the actual sex were all wonderful, but Amber loved it most when they mixed their tongues so passionately. When he willingly pulled him close, exchanging tongues and breath, sharing pleasure right before each other’s eyes.
And it was absolutely fantastic to slowly enter while intoxicated by that pleasure with eyes closed. From this point, he was truly connected to Tennessee. The swollen glans met the entrance and began to be slowly constricted.
“Haaa…….”
“Haa, it feels good…….”
Amber felt dizzy at the sound of Tennessee’s moan.
What Amber had felt so far was that no matter how much he wanted to run wild, immense patience was required during insertion. Amber believed he had an obligation to cherish and protect Tennessee’s body as much as possible.
And it was obvious that slow entry was Tennessee’s preference. As he steadily parted the heated inner flesh by applying weight, and occasionally stopped to catch his breath, Tennessee would squirm and let out similarly shallow breaths.
“Here.”
Tennessee pushed out his heated chest. Whenever insertion felt overwhelming like this, Tennessee would sometimes pull his hair back and make him caress his lips or nipples. Every time Tennessee trained him from start to finish in that manner, Amber tasted a twisted sense of satisfaction.
It was a desire that everything, from one to ten, be tailored to Tennessee’s pleasure and erogenous zones, so that he could never escape sex with him—that he would be completely attuned to him, and he to Tennessee.
“Hng-.”
When he successfully inserted almost to the end, to the point where his testicles nearly touched Tennessee’s skin, Amber shuddered once.