#53

“It turns out there aren’t as many countries with conscription as I thought. But countries like Korea and Israel are even more strict……” As Amber rambled on, Tennessee realized that while he didn’t know the details, this leave of absence had not been obtained through legal channels.

When asked how he handled the supporting documents, Amber awkwardly avoided eye contact and changed the subject.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been here, but it’s so nice.”

“…….”

“And I was debating it anyway. I thought about quitting school and switching to a different major.”

Amber mentioned that while his grades were good, he had originally wanted to pursue a different path. Unlike in the past, Amber truly didn’t talk about himself much. It was as if he expected Tennessee to be as anxious and curious as he had been, but only to a fraction of that degree. It had been a long time since he’d heard Amber talk about himself.

“I’m not entirely sure. But at the time, I thought this major would be useful for me in many ways…… and personally.”

If Tennessee lacked intuition, he would have asked what Amber’s major was. However, sensing danger in the way Amber’s eyes curved into a soft smile, Tennessee did not follow up with a question. Amber added one more sentence.

“I’ll just say that during the two years Tennessee abandoned me, I went through many changes in my state of mind.”

……Does the college Amber attends have a major related to criminology?

“I’m not sure if I’ll still need this major in the future. I just hope I won’t.”

Law school requires an undergraduate degree. If so, it really is criminology. Or perhaps computer science, political science, or international studies.

“If you don’t need it, where would you want to go?”

“Medical school.”

Tennessee imagined Amber in scrubs or a white coat. It suited him quite well. He would probably become a charming doctor.

“But lately, I’ve been drawn to psychology too……”

Tennessee told him to pick just one in an irritated voice, and Amber burst into loud laughter, saying he was joking. However, when Amber said, ‘I just hope I won’t,’ he looked sincere to anyone watching.

Tennessee took a morning walk, pushing his wheelchair. The weather was lovely. When a cool breeze blew, the leaves rustled against each other, creating a pleasant sound.

Walking slowly along the path, the two shared trivial conversations. Since Amber was sparing with his own stories, it was mostly Amber asking and Tennessee answering. Most were simple, minute questions fitting for a morning stroll.

Conversations of the sort: if he drank milk, whether he preferred non-fat, 1%, or 2%. I really don’t care, Tennessee said, but Amber kept pressing for an opinion, insisting that there must be things he prefers more or less.

“I’ll drink any of them.”

While he was giving random answers out of defeat, the sound of light footsteps approached from behind. It was a woman jogging. As she passed by, she offered a greeting.

“Good morning.”

Amber responded with a formal smile.

“Good morning.”

The woman, whose tied-back red hair fluttered as she ran, passed them by. About twenty minutes later, on her second lap, she passed them again and spoke to them. Amber and Tennessee were in the middle of a conversation about whether bacon should be fried until crisp and hard.

“You’re the ones who just moved in, right?”

“Yes.”

Irritated that the discourse on bacon had been interrupted, Amber ended the conversation with a short answer without even glancing at the woman. Usually, when such a question is asked, a few meaningless words follow—things like where they used to live. However, Tennessee, sitting in the wheelchair, remained silent as well.

Leaning his head back and feeling the cool breeze, Tennessee looked at the woman with only his eyes. It was a dry, indifferent gaze.

A man of a similar age. Living together, and one of them in a wheelchair. It wasn’t a combination that was easy to forget. Thinking as far as that, Tennessee readily spoke.

“Do you live in this neighborhood?”

“Yes, that’s right. I’ve lived here since middle school, though I went to high school in a different county.”

23 – Chapter

The woman replies with a thin smile.

This woman. If you’re going to exercise, just go for your jog and stop worrying about whether a wheelchair or a submarine is passing by.

Amber’s lips tighten, knowing all too well how ordinary and gentle a young man Tennessee can appear to others. The two were now engaged in light conversation.

It’s been raining often lately. I’m just glad it wasn’t a tornado.

I heard typhoons have already hit other states.

“Tennessee.”

Amber stops abruptly, cutting the woman off. The woman, who had been jogging lightly beside him, slows down accordingly.

Amber deliberated for half a second. But the hesitation didn’t last long.

“Please don’t enjoy your conversation too much. I’m getting jealous.”

Tennessee’s eyebrows arch, and a look of bewilderment flits across the woman’s face. Amber immediately turns his wheelchair around. Tennessee lets out a small chuckle.

“See you next time.”

Without a trace of a smile, Amber offered his farewell to the woman. It was the bare minimum of courtesy as a modern citizen living in a civilized society.

“Next time, we can just put up a notice. ‘The two living on the Nth floor are gay.’ Like that.”

As soon as they entered the house, Tennessee teased.

“That’s a great idea. I’ll go print about two hundred copies right now. Should I distribute them to the next county as well?”

Amber knew he had acted selfishly, but that didn’t make him feel any better. Why on earth was Tennessee kind to everyone except him? There was no need for him to be that way with anyone.

Tennessee never looked at the single, most parched handful of earth; he kept watering the places where the grass was already lush and green.

“Stop acting out.”

Sitting on the sofa, Tennessee stared intently at Amber as he tidied the wheelchair. Feeling the gaze, the busy Amber turned around. His red lips vanished behind white teeth and then reappeared.

“Say ‘good morning’ to me.”

Amber urged, staring straight at the floor.

“To me, right now.”

“……Good morning.”

“Not like that.”

‘Good morning, Officer.’

If he wanted to, Tennessee could be as kind as he pleased.

‘He’s a very deep and empathetic person. He seems like a good adult.’

Those were the words Elizabeth had used to describe Tennessee.

If he wished, he could listen to anyone’s story and empathize with them indefinitely.

“……No, I’m sorry for acting like a spoiled child.”

“Good morning, Amber.”

Though the voice was low and lacked brightness, Tennessee tossed the words out in a voice that was unmistakably his own.

“I don’t know why this is so important to you, but…”

Tennessee spoke in a tone that suggested he was doing it simply because Amber wanted it.

‘I didn’t want to hurt you. ……I didn’t want to hurt you, of all people.’

Amber was certain that something was clearly changing.

“……Um,”

Amber knelt on one knee to match the eye level of Tennessee, who was sitting on the sofa.

Tennessee smelled of nothing but the faint scent of mint after brushing his teeth. Despite his hesitation, Amber leaned in. Eyelids fluttered, and vivid pupils appeared like a shutter. He didn’t know. He really didn’t know if this was okay.

Amber experienced the strange sensation of his mind becoming so full of thoughts that they vanished entirely. He closed his eyes. Hot sunlight stained his vision.

Trembling lips overlapped.

“……Ah.”

Releasing a breath full of tension, Amber pulled his lips away. They had touched. Warm breath brushed the tip of his nose, and he had definitely pressed his lips onto Tennessee’s.

Would he be disgusted? Would he scream at him to get out immediately?

At such worries, Amber’s hands trembled slightly. In that brief moment, Amber searched for any signal, as if he refused to miss even the slightest change in Tennessee’s expression.

There was no great reaction from Tennessee. Amber felt as though he had experienced this kind of urgency before. Lunging greedily at Tennessee’s lips, Amber recalled a moment from the past. It seemed to be the time when Tennessee had first given him an answer to his question. Come to think of it, Tennessee had always been kind in an indifferent manner.

Terribly so. Just like now.

Amber sucked on Tennessee’s lower lip deeply and let out a shallow breath. He was afraid to look into Tennessee’s eyes. He parted the lips wet with saliva and pushed his tongue deep into the mouth. His entire body shuddered. He pressed himself tightly against the man on the sofa. At some point, Tennessee’s back was completely buried in the sofa’s backrest.

“Haa……. Tennessee…….”

Parting their lips, Amber lowered his gaze. Then, unable to resist, he pressed his lips against Tennessee’s neck. Because the image of Tennessee he had just seen wouldn’t leave his sight, Amber squeezed his eyes shut and buried his lips into Tennessee’s skin.

“Haa…….”

Lips flushed redder than usual, a gaze stripped of its firmness—though not as much as Amber himself, Tennessee was also breathing heavily.

“Haa, ha-, Tennessee…… I love this so much……. Put your tongue in my mouth too.”

Amber whispered, parting his lips.