#52

Tennessee’s discharge date was set. Because the surgery had been successful and recovery was fast, the discharge date was moved up from the original schedule.

Regarding Tennessee’s seizures, the doctor recommended a consultation with the psychiatry department. While nodding as he heard the doctor’s words, Tennessee briefly glanced at Amber.

A strange coldness emanated from the expressionless Amber. He realized belatedly that Amber had mostly had a soft impression when by his side. And that Amber’s expressionless face, stripped of its cheerfulness, was surprisingly cold and suited him.

After the doctor left the room, Tennessee and Amber remained silent for a long time. Even while listening to the doctor, Amber showed no sign of surprise and asked no questions. Then, Tennessee caught a faint scent of marijuana coming from Amber.

“Amber.”

The characteristic scent of marijuana lingered at the tip of his nose.

“Did you do it?”

Tennessee asked, recalling that Amber had stepped out for a moment. It was enough time for him to have smoked and still be relaxed. Amber, sitting with his legs crossed, remained silent, and the two just looked at each other.

“Don’t be so sensitive about something that isn’t even illegal.”

Tennessee pursued him, which was rare.

“I’m asking if you did it.”

“I have no obligation to answer.”

Tennessee felt a sudden surge of irritation, but then quickly calmed his breathing.

“You’re not wrong.”

Unlike the previous interrogation, Amber sighed at the resigned tone. Fatigue was evident. It wasn’t physical fatigue. Amber responded with a face that looked as if he hadn’t even hoped for it.

“Why do you say I have no right? You should be angry that I’m being rude.”

Tennessee waved his hand as if to say it was fine.

“I didn’t. There’s no way I did.”

Tennessee was flabbergasted by Amber’s attitude, which was now soothing. At the same time, he was stunned. Because that smirk, as if asking if he had been upset, resembled him in some way.

“Since when did you develop the habit of giving up so easily?”

“Just now.”

“I really didn’t. You can check.”

Saying that the smell had just clung to him and that he hadn’t done it, Amber pressed close, telling him to check.

When Tennessee didn’t react, Amber held out his hand. Showing his clean arms and claiming he hadn’t done marijuana, cocaine, or heroin—nothing—Amber approached like he was whining. He rubbed his high bridge of a nose against the shoulder of the unresponsive Tennessee, as if headbutting him. Feeling as if he were watching the aegyo of a giant animal, Tennessee pushed Amber away, telling him to go away.

“Are you angry?”

You’re the one who was angry. Hadn’t he been sulking with his arms crossed over there until just a moment ago?

Tennessee could convey those words without uttering a single syllable, just with his eyes.

“I’m not.”

He couldn’t bring himself to say that he was sad that Tennessee was being discharged.

“Stop pretending to be an adult.”

Tennessee snapped at Amber, who had started hiding many things from a certain point.

“Will you overlook it if I act like a child? You won’t.”

“…….”

He was an opponent who could not be defeated with words from the start.

* * *

Chicago. Amber liked that city. From the unique pronunciation derived from Native American languages to the roads always crowded with people, the night view of downtown, and the bridges that gave the illusion of being isolated from the world—he liked it all. Tennessee’s accent when pronouncing ‘Chicago’ was no exception. Strangely, Tennessee’s accent had no regional inflection. Despite being named Tennessee, there was not a trace of the characteristic drawl of the South. Was it originally absent, or did he intentionally remove it? While considering it a mystery, Amber had many curiosities.

“We’ve arrived.”

Stopping the car, Amber woke Tennessee with a gentle touch. Tennessee had fallen asleep again in the meantime.

“I’ll go get the wheelchair.”

“I don’t need it.”

“You do.”

If you hate the wheelchair, shall I carry you?

Tennessee, who frowned blatantly, climbed into the wheelchair obediently with a resigned face. Because, knowing the Amber he had experienced, he felt that he would actually try to carry him. And he would do it willingly, enjoying it. While Tennessee moved his hands in the wheelchair, Amber easily moved the luggage.

Tennessee was stunned to see the luggage filling Amber’s hands. Since the period he spent in the hospital wasn’t that long, he was surprised that there was this much luggage. For Tennessee, who had always lived simply, he was even more surprised that most of the luggage consisted of his own things.

Of course, Tennessee hadn’t bought any of it himself; most of it had been bought by Amber. Looking at all that luggage, he thought that perhaps if he combined the belongings from every place he had ever lived, it would only amount to that much.

“Throw it away.”

He meant that Amber wouldn’t have to struggle since there was no need to bring everything, but Amber looked at Tennessee as if he were the century’s most notorious killer.

“……Do you hate it?”

Unable to bring himself to say that he probably wouldn’t use it anyway, Tennessee decided not to respond.

Naturally, it took quite a while for Amber to organize all the luggage. To Tennessee, it seemed that Amber wasn’t simply organizing things, but was more intent on imbuing the house with a ‘human scent.’

Amber’s way of organizing was different from Tennessee’s. Tennessee’s organization was like this: things in their place, and the tables, windowsills, dining tables, or kitchen counters left as empty spaces with nothing on them.

However, Amber didn’t try to clear and put away everything in front of him with surgical precision. Thus, things that seemed likely to be used often were placed on the kitchen counter or dining table.

Perhaps this is what a human scent is. Looking at the miscellaneous items, that thought occurred to him.

By the time Amber finished the work, the sun had already set.

“May I take a shower?”

Amber asked, wiping the sweat flowing down his jaw with his shoulder, and Tennessee nodded. Amidst the faintly audible sound of water, Tennessee watched TV for the first time in a long while. An NFL game was in full swing.

“Tennessee is an American after all.”

Drying his hair, Amber approached from behind the sofa.

What does that mean?

Tennessee’s expression became ambiguous.

“I thought you wouldn’t be interested in things like this.”

“I’m not.”

“Did you turn it on because you were bored?”

Water that hadn’t been properly dried fell onto Tennessee’s shoulder and head. It was like a rain shower. It was cold, but that refreshingness was strangely welcome.

Amber leaned his arm on the back of the sofa where Tennessee was leaning. Skin that was colder than usual touched Tennessee’s neck and ear.

“Aren’t you hungry? Should I order something?”

“No.”

Tennessee spoke curtly and changed the channel. He felt a fleeting illusion that Amber’s skin, pressing against his own, was growing colder.

“It’s late. You should go.”

“I can’t.”

The answer popped out as if he had been waiting for the prompt.

“Why.”

Then, a soft, methodical voice drifted down from above.

“Elizabeth told me not to come. David said the same—that I should move out. My relationship with them isn’t great because I didn’t even apply to Michigan or Dartmouth.”

Tennessee’s expression shifted; he was well aware of the ocean-like love the adoptive parents harbored for Amber. Even in just the last few weeks, how many times had they come to visit him?

“Give me your phone.”

“……I can’t. The battery died, so it’s off.”

The moment he said that, a vibration sounded from somewhere. It was from Amber’s pants pocket. Tennessee’s expression remained unchanged, but it felt as if the surrounding temperature had dropped about five degrees Fahrenheit.

“Hand it over.”

“No.”

Refusing to let his phone be taken, Amber threw himself onto the adjacent couch and curled up into a ball.

“I said bring it here.”

“Absolutely not. Bring a warrant.”

A warrant, my foot. Looking at Amber curled up like an armadillo, Tennessee fell into thought. Though he wasn’t in peak physical condition, he could easily overpower Amber. However, he didn’t want to do that to him.

Forget it. Tennessee gave up easily.

“I can sleep here, right?”

Having hidden his phone well, Amber asked with sparkling eyes. Tennessee let out a faint, ambiguous sigh. With a gesture that was impossible to distinguish as either affirmation or resignation, he vaguely waved his hand.

In the first place, he had never thought it would be easy to shake him off. Besides, they had been strangely glued to each other for the past few weeks, so his presence had become familiar.

Thinking up to that point, Tennessee lowered the TV volume. With a slight frown between his brows, he turned his head toward Amber, who was still wriggling like a caterpillar.

“……Don’t you have school?”

He knew it wasn’t a break, yet Amber was staying by his side with far too much leisure. Unless he was briefly picking up his belongings or had something important to do, he practically lived at the hospital.

“I took a temporary leave.”

“Dropped out?”

“No, a leave of absence.”

“How?”

Tennessee knew about gap years, but this was the first time he’d heard of a system where one could take a break from college at will.

“I have dual citizenship in Vietnam and the US, and since Vietnam has conscription, I told them I had to go to the military. They granted the leave immediately.”

“……You’re Vietnamese?”

Amber had black hair, but he possessed a typical Caucasian appearance. When Tennessee asked, unable to hide his surprise, Amber gave a gentle smile.

“Tennessee is so naive to believe that. I’ve never even been to Vietnam. If I were Vietnamese, the people there would laugh.”