1. Side Story – Time of Loss

I opened my eyes on a chilly bed. The white ceiling and walls were the same as always. On one side, a dark red stain remained. It was the mark where Ju-wan had bitten his finger to write his own name.

He bolted upright and hurriedly looked around. The worn iron bed and the iron door were identical to those in the psychiatric hospital. Was he having a nightmare? Or had everything until now actually been a dream? He was confused.

As he tried to move toward the door, his body wouldn’t budge. No matter what he did, he couldn’t leave the bed. Then, the door opened and a black silhouette entered. Even though it lacked a clear form, it evoked a sense of repulsion. The silhouette looked like Jang Jin-woo, or perhaps Woo Hyeong-seok, or maybe Woo Hyeong-seok’s biological father.

‘No.’

He shook his head and stepped back. The hard wall hit his back. There was nowhere left to retreat. The black figure closed the door and lunged toward the bed.

‘No!’

He screamed wildly. Then, his mouth was suddenly blocked. Something of unknown identity seemed to burrow into his mouth and tightly plug his throat. A wave of nausea surged. His airway was completely obstructed, making it difficult to breathe.

The black figure that overcame Ju-wan writhed and gradually swelled. Then, it split into three or four silhouettes and suppressed Ju-wan’s limbs. Black hands slithered between Ju-wan’s legs and crawled under his shirt. He struggled with all his might, but his heavily pinned body wouldn’t move an inch.

‘Help me.’

The sorrowful plea seemed to echo only within himself.

The slippery yet sticky black hands groped deeper into his most private places. It felt as if they were pushing deep inside his body, crushing and bursting all his internal organs. His stomach continued to bloat as the entity forced its way inside. It was disgusting.

‘Someone, anyone!’

He struggled desperately with his limbs.

Then, beyond the firmly closed iron door, he saw someone familiar. It was Kwon Su-hyeok. His desolate, fearful, and precarious heart softened for a moment.

‘Su-hyeok!’

He called out to Kwon Su-hyeok with all his strength. However, the man only looked into the hospital room with an utterly indifferent gaze. Could it be that Ju-wan was invisible to him?

‘Su-hyeok, it’s me!’

He screamed until his throat tore. The black entity that had slid down his throat swelled again. It blocked both his windpipe and esophagus so completely that tears welled up.

‘Please get me out of here!’

For some reason, the hollow cry did not reach Kwon Su-hyeok. Kwon Su-hyeok turned away as if he saw nothing.

‘Don’t leave me behind.’

A deep sob broke out. Uselessly, Kwon Su-hyeok completely vanished from his sight.

‘Don’t go!’

Soon, the sound of his footsteps faded into the distance.

“…Gasp!”

He snapped his eyes open in shock. Because he woke up so abruptly, a slight dizziness washed over him. His vision inverted into a yellow hue. He squeezed his eyes shut and waited for a moment to calm down. His heart pounded violently as if it would burst at any second. The sound of his ragged breathing muffled his ears.

“Haa….”

He knew it was a dream. Even so, it was so distressing that he couldn’t react calmly. It was even harder because he couldn’t wake up even when he wanted to. Perhaps because he had struggled in his sleep, his entire body ached. His spine was damp with sweat.

The jaguar, who had been sleeping beside him, woke up as well and stared intently at Ju-wan. Then, it stuck out its tongue and licked his sweat-drenched face.

“Sunam.”

He reached out both arms and hugged the creature tightly. His heart gradually softened at the warm body heat and the jaguar’s characteristic reliability.

No matter how precious a memory is, it is bound to fade over time. So why is it that the memories one wants to forget do not do the same? He let his shoulders slump and let out a long sigh.

It was then. The jaguar’s round ears flickered, and he sensed a presence waiting outside the front door. Following that, he heard the sound of the door lock opening. It seemed Kwon Su-hyeok had returned.

Without needing to decide who went first, Ju-wan and the jaguar rushed to greet Kwon Su-hyeok. Kwon Su-hyeok stroked the head of the jaguar, who had run ahead.

“I’m home.”

As he gave a casual greeting to Ju-wan, who followed behind, Ju-wan suddenly threw himself into Kwon Su-hyeok’s arms. Kwon Su-hyeok looked puzzled by the fervent welcome.

“Why? Did something happen?”

Ju-wan buried his head in Kwon Su-hyeok’s shoulder and shook his head. Then, Kwon Su-hyeok grabbed his shoulders and pulled him away. A searching gaze landed on Ju-wan’s face.

“Why do you look like this? There’s no color in your face. Are you sick?”

“No. I dozed off for a bit and had a bad dream.”

At the mention of a nightmare, Kwon Su-hyeok wore a bittersweet expression. This was because he could easily guess what kind of dream Ju-wan had and how much he must have suffered. Even Kwon Su-hyeok himself had not completely escaped the ghosts of a tedious past. There was no way he didn’t know that pain.

Kwon Su-hyeok simply hugged Ju-wan tightly again. Just being held firmly in those two arms brought peace to his mind. Ju-wan smiled faintly and leaned his head on his shoulder. Kwon Su-hyeok continuously and gently stroked and patted his back.

“I’m glad it was just a dream.”

Only after a long while did Ju-wan pull away from Kwon Su-hyeok’s embrace. Then, looking at the man who was worrying about him over a mere nightmare, he smiled brightly. Indeed, a dream was just a dream.

Kwon Su-hyeok held Ju-wan’s face and gave him a quick kiss. Keeping their lips pressed together, they exchanged sweet breaths, occasionally intertwining and parting their lips. It was ticklish and warm. He kissed him softly once more and slowly pulled his head away.

Kwon Su-hyeok used his thumb to gently caress Ju-wan’s cheek.

“Don’t worry. That will never happen again. I will absolutely not let it.”

“Me too. I won’t let you suffer alone again, Su-hyeok.”

Ju-wan vowed, rubbing his cheek against the man’s hand. As if making a promise, their lips met once more before parting.

Staying close to each other, they headed toward the living room. Out of habit, they touched one another, pressing lips to foreheads and the backs of hands while engaging in an extremely mundane conversation.

“But it feels like you’ve been coming home late lately. Do you have a lot of work?”

“Yeah. A bit. I’ve increased the number of overseas clients. That’s actually why….”

Kwon Su-hyeok trailed off. It seemed he had something to say. Ju-wan looked at him without suspicion.

“A business trip was scheduled urgently.”

He asked for understanding with an apologetic expression. For some unknown reason, Ju-wan’s heart, which had finally calmed down, began to thumping again. He couldn’t understand why.

* * *

“It’s about time to head in, CEO.”

Jeon Mi-nam handed Kwon Su-hyeok his flight ticket and passport. The destination on the ticket was clearly marked as ‘Moscow (SVO)’. He was leaving to sign a contract with a new Russian client.

Ju-wan and Baek Do-un also came to the airport to see him off. Baek Do-un kept yawning as if bored. In contrast, Ju-wan’s face was a mixture of vague anxiety, regret, and preemptive longing. He didn’t take his eyes off Kwon Su-hyeok for a single moment.

He wouldn’t be able to see the man, who always came home even if late, for a while. He said he didn’t know yet how many days it would be. Of course, it was purely for work, and Ju-wan knew he couldn’t accompany him, but he couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his heart. He needlessly straightened Kwon Su-hyeok’s tie and fidgeted with the edge of his jacket.

Of course, Kwon Su-hyeok felt just as conflicted. If possible, he wanted to take Ju-wan along and keep him by his side at all times. The reason he couldn’t was because of potential danger. This client was a famous Russian mafia organization. They were said to be a group well-versed in drugs and weapons. Although they had shown a fairly gentlemanly attitude during preliminary negotiations, he couldn’t judge them hastily until he met them in person and had a full discussion.

“I’ll contact you whenever I have a chance.”

“Yes. Don’t overwork yourself. Come back healthy and well.”

Regretfully, Ju-wan let go of Kwon Su-hyeok’s hand. He tried to smile brightly so that the man wouldn’t worry. Kwon Su-hyeok affectionately stroked the back of Ju-wan’s head before moving with heavy steps. Baek Do-un suddenly threw an arm around Ju-wan’s shoulder and followed Kwon Su-hyeok’s party toward the gate.

“I’ll keep an eye on Ju-wan and Sunam so they aren’t bored, so don’t worry. You just go and make a ton of money. Don’t forget my gift when you come back.”

Kwon Su-hyeok watched the confident Baek Do-un with a look of complete distrust. Then, he shifted his gaze to Ju-wan. It was a staring gaze, as if he were checking if he had forgotten something. The moment Ju-wan opened his mouth to ask “Why?”, the man’s hand reached out and wrapped around the back of Ju-wan’s head. Then, Ju-wan was pulled sharply into his embrace. His forehead touched the man’s shoulder, and his body was completely buried in him.

At the sudden hug, people around them glanced at the pair. Kwon Su-hyeok’s subordinates, including Jeon Mi-nam, surrounded the two and quietly scanned the area. Due to the menacing atmosphere, people instinctively turned their heads away.

Kwon Su-hyeok gave Ju-wan a light kiss on the cheek and let him go.

“I’m off.”

Ju-wan nodded instead of answering. Lingering attachment dripped from their hands, which remained clasped until the end.

“You’ll really be late at this rate. Hurry and go.”

Ju-wan was the first to pull his hand away. He forced a bright smile and waved. Kwon Su-hyeok gave a short laugh and finally headed for the gate. Ju-wan craned his neck to see him for just a bit longer. He even slightly lifted his heels. Kwon Su-hyeok, who appeared in glimpses every time the gate closed and opened, soon vanished from sight.

“…He’s gone.”

He muttered hollowly. Baek Do-un slapped Ju-wan on the back.

“Ju-wan, why are you so gloomy! Now that Kwon Su-hyeok is gone, you can do whatever you want! It’s a rare freedom. Enjoy it.”

“…Actually, I had a nightmare.”

“Hmm? What, did you dream about a plane crash or something?”

“It wasn’t that, but I just keep feeling uneasy.”

“What was it about?”

“It was no different from the nightmares I usually have, but this time Su-hyeok appeared. But he ignored me. No matter how much I called, he didn’t react until the end… as if I were a stranger.”

“Eh, it’s just a random dream. There’s no way Kwon Su-hyeok would pretend not to know you.”

“I know that’s unlikely. But I keep worrying… still, I couldn’t tell him not to go. He already promised to go, and it’s work. Telling him would have only made him anxious.”

“Well, that’s true. Don’t worry too much. It’s just a dream. They say dreams are the opposite of reality.”

Baek Do-un patted Ju-wan’s shoulder. Ju-wan silently nodded, but he couldn’t bring himself to take his eyes off the gate.

A mysterious nervousness made the palms of his hands tingle, and he clenched his fists tightly. His heart pounded strangely, and his pulse raced erratically. He was out of it. He forcibly denied the sensation of something cold sweeping over his entire body repeatedly.

It was nothing. It couldn’t be. It was all just his own unfounded anxiety. It had to be.

“Did you arrive safely?”

He carefully examined Kwon Su-hyeok’s face on the phone screen. The man, who had just entered his hotel, looked a bit tired, perhaps from the long flight. Yet, the look in his eyes as he watched Ju-wan was infinitely tender. A smile never left his lips.

Ju-wan leaned back on the bed to talk comfortably. Then, the jaguar leaped up and huddled close to Ju-wan. It even nudged the phone screen, where Kwon Su-hyeok’s voice was coming from, with its snout. Fearing the creature might accidentally hang up the call, Ju-wan hugged its neck tightly and continued the conversation.

“Did you eat?”

I had a light snack before coming in.

“Does the food there suit your taste?”

Passably.

“Isn’t it cold?”

More than I expected. It’s not much different from Korea.

The two shared an extremely mundane conversation. They didn’t suddenly shower each other with affectionate whispers just because they were far apart. Ju-wan told him the trivial details of his day, just as he did when Kwon Su-hyeok came home from work: that he studied for the GED exam which was a few months away, that Baek Do-un made orange curry for dinner, and that he and the jaguar both fell into a dead sleep during a nap because he was too exhausted from bathing the jaguar without Jeon Mi-nam. Kwon Su-hyeok listened to the stories leisurely as usual.

Kwon Su-hyeok briefly pulled back the curtains to show the view outside the window. The buildings, the roads, and even the sky felt like a completely different world.

“It’s beautiful. Now get some sleep. You must be tired. Make sure to dry your hair so you don’t catch a cold.”

Okay. I’ll contact you later.

“Take care of yourself.”

You too. Go to bed early.

“Okay.”

Even after exchanging farewells, the call didn’t end immediately. It was because they both just stared at the screen until the other person hung up first. Realizing this, they both burst into laughter at the same time. After staring at Kwon Su-hyeok on the screen for a while longer, Ju-wan said, “I’ll hang up now,” and touched the end-call button first. Otherwise, he felt he wouldn’t be able to put the phone down all night.

Once the call actually ended, he felt a sense of emptiness. To soothe that feeling, he hugged the jaguar’s neck with both hands and buried his head. The jaguar, startled by the sudden action, soon relaxed and stayed quietly in his arms. While stroking the creature’s back, he rubbed his cheek against the jaguar’s cheek. It was a bit of a comfort.

“The teacher must be waiting. Let’s go out.”

Soon, he left the bedroom with the jaguar.

Baek Do-un was sprawled on the living room sofa watching TV. When Ju-wan appeared, he rewound the movie he was watching quite a bit.

“Did he say he arrived safely?”

“Yes.”

“You see him every day, and you were stuck to him until this morning, so how do you have so much to say?”

“Just things like what I did today, what I ate, if anything happened. Su-hyeok is always curious. I just said goodnight… that’s all.”

“Since when is ‘goodnight’ the only greeting?”

“Pardon?”

“There should be something more after that. If you’re lovers.”

“Like what?”

Ju-wan had a truly clueless expression. Baek Do-un opened his mouth to speak but then closed it again. It seemed they were the type to openly display affection regardless of who was watching, but hardly expressed it in words. Perhaps they felt they didn’t need to say it to know.

“You know, like ‘I love you’ or ‘I miss you.’ Strangely, no matter how many times you hear those words, you never get tired of them.”

“Ah, I’m just a bit awkward with that.”

Baek Do-un blinked slowly. He was trying to fathom what Ju-wan meant.

If Ju-wan’s late grandfather had been a taciturn person and thus showed affection silently, Ju-wan might be awkward with direct expressions. After Ju-wan started living with his biological mother, such words would have become irrelevant. Perhaps it would be different if he had had a girlfriend.

“I heard you had a girlfriend, Ju-wan.”

“I think we relied on each other a lot. Both my family situation and hers were very bad. Rather than ‘I like you’ or ‘I love you,’ we mostly talked about gaining strength together or supporting each other.”

“Doesn’t that make you crave it more, then?”

Baek Do-un, who had been listening silently, tilted his head. It was almost like he was talking to himself.

“Ju-wan, so you’ve never told Su-hyeok that you like him or love him?”

“Um… I think so.”

In truth, he didn’t feel the need. Even without saying it, they knew each other’s hearts sufficiently. In fact, he even thought that those common and cliché expressions wouldn’t be able to fully convey his sincerity.

But Baek Do-un shook his head in disagreement. Such outdated expressions of affection don’t bring about dramatic changes. If the two hearts were already connected, saying such words or not was irrelevant. Rather, because of that, wouldn’t it be better to convey them more often and more frequently? The reason was simple.

“There aren’t as many opportunities to express and hear those things as you’d think.”

Thinking of his late grandfather, biological father, and girlfriend, Baek Do-un was entirely correct. Ju-wan felt he should express himself more so that he wouldn’t regret it again.

How would Kwon Su-hyeok react if he said he loved him? How would Ju-wan feel if he heard those words from him? His heart fluttered. He was already looking forward to the next call with him.

“…….”

He shifted his posture slightly. Fearing he might wake the soundly sleeping Baek Do-un, he didn’t roll over all at once, but moved his body slowly and stealthily. Jaguar snapped his head up and watched Ju-wan intently. Staring back into those eyes that glowed brightly even in the darkness, Ju-wan placed his index finger over his lips.

“Mmm.”

Baek Do-un tossed and turned slightly, but soon returned to a steady, rhythmic breath. The rabbit remained motionless, curled up tightly in his arms. Seeing its cotton-like body undulating faintly, it seemed the little creature had also fallen into a deep sleep.

He slid quietly off the bed. He had tried to fall asleep somehow, but the more he tried, the clearer his consciousness became. He felt that if he kept tossing and turning, he would eventually disturb Baek Do-un’s sleep.

Jaguar immediately stood up and followed Ju-wan. He opened and closed the door with bated breath. Then, he climbed onto the sofa and tried to get some sleep there. Jaguar climbed up separately and nudged Ju-wan with his snout, poke, poke.

“Su-nam, I can’t sleep.”

He complained softly while hugging Jaguar’s warm neck. He let out a low sigh. The sound of the animal’s heartbeat echoed in his ear. Listening to it, he slowly closed his eyes.

He couldn’t fathom why he couldn’t sleep. This had happened once before. When he had accompanied Kwon Su-hyeok on his business trip to Hong Kong, and they had to sleep separately.

Was it simply because Kwon Su-hyeok wasn’t by his side this time, just like then? It wasn’t as if this was the only time he had gone on a business trip. An unknown sense of anxiety kept making him restless and overthink. As if trying to shake off that bleak feeling, Ju-wan repeatedly rubbed his forehead against Jaguar’s neck.

* * *

“It seems you haven’t slept at all.”

When Jeon Mi-nam went to pick up Kwon Su-hyeok, his complexion looked far from refreshed. Since an appointment had been set for midnight, he had rested immediately after checking into the hotel. Usually, his sleep time was three or four hours at most. Even considering the accumulated fatigue from the journey, eight hours should have been plenty.

And yet, he hadn’t slept a wink. Even though he tried to clear his mind and relax his body for the sake of his condition, it was useless. He would fall into a very light slumber only to wake up again, repeating the cycle. Eventually, his head became so heavy that he gave up on sleeping entirely.

He hadn’t struggled with sleep this much in a while. Had the insomnia, which seemed to have vanished since Ju-wan arrived, returned? Something similar had happened when he went to Hong Kong. While handling business separately from Ju-wan, he had spent the night wide awake and could only sleep deeply once Ju-wan was by his side.

But he couldn’t exactly take him everywhere. He shook his head. He simply reasoned that his mind and body were extremely tense ahead of a major event. He brushed it off with that thought.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.”

He drank some bottled water to soothe his unsettled stomach. Jeon Mi-nam approached and handed him his jacket. Even the clothes that usually fit him like a glove felt heavy today.

Kwon Su-hyeok checked his appearance one more time in the mirror. Although his gaze had grown colder due to lack of sleep, he looked impeccable. Leaving the room immediately, he confirmed the details of the upcoming meeting with Jeon Mi-nam, who followed behind.

“Where did they say we were meeting?”

“It’s a members-only club designated by the other party.”

“The agreed-upon number of accompanying personnel?”

“A total of three: the President, myself, and the interpreter.”

“And their side?”

“Yes. That is what I know for now. Should I have more personnel on standby nearby?”

“No, that’s enough. We shouldn’t be rude upon our first meeting.”

He strode through the quiet hallway. It was time to be calm. A moment’s carelessness could put his life at risk. The notoriety of the Mafia wasn’t earned for nothing. It couldn’t have been built solely on misunderstandings and prejudices.

If he exposed a weakness from the first meeting, it would be easy to ruin the deal. Behind the slowly closing elevator doors, Kwon Su-hyeok’s face froze coldly.

“We have arrived.”

The club, the meeting place, was located in the outskirts. Administratively, it seemed to barely avoid being outside of Moscow. Perhaps because of that, even considering it was a members-only establishment, there weren’t many people coming and going. Of course, that made it perfect for conducting secretive deals. It would also be an ideal condition for members to buy and sell drugs.

As he stepped out of the car, the guards guarding the entrance approached. Every single one of them was armed. Jeon Mi-nam handed them a card. It was a club entry card he had received urgently upon arriving in Russia.

After checking the card twice, the guards nodded. One of them guided the party inside the club. As they opened the door and entered, their vision became blurred. It was because various types of smoke filled the interior. The air was so thick that it was difficult to breathe normally.

Loud music echoed continuously from the central hall, but there were almost no people actually dancing. Instead, they were each occupying curtained booths, lounging about. The surroundings were entirely dark and the lighting was dim, blurring the sense of space. He instinctively became on edge. No matter how invited he was, the feeling of entering deep into someone else’s den was not pleasant.

The guard led the party to the innermost room. Another attendant was standing there. After showing the card Jeon Mi-nam provided and exchanging a few words, the attendant knocked on the closed door. Permission to enter came from inside. The attendant personally flung both doors wide open.

The interior of the large room was relatively bright. Kwon Su-hyeok walked inside without hesitation. As soon as the entire party entered, the attendant outside firmly closed the door.

“Welcome.”

The man occupying the inner seat seemed to be the boss, Nikolai. The man sitting next to him was the one who greeted them in Korean. He must have been the interpreter. While communication in English was possible, they had decided to bring both Korean and Russian interpreters just in case. The opposing side also had three people: the boss, the interpreter, and the attendant outside the door. At least on the surface, all the meeting conditions had been met.

Nikolai slowly scanned Kwon Su-hyeok from head to toe. Kwon Su-hyeok also stared back at him steadily. The slowly moving gaze was gloomy and damp, reminiscent of a snake. For a while, a suffocating silence descended upon the room. It felt as if a viper and a jaguar had met on a narrow bridge, engaging in a quiet battle of wills.

When Kwon Su-hyeok showed no sign of backing down, Nikolai gave a short laugh. He gestured with his head toward an empty seat, as if telling him to come and sit. This arrogant behavior was politely corrected through the interpreter.

“Please, make yourself comfortable. Our boss is looking forward to an in-depth conversation with the President.”

That was enough of a waste of useless energy. Without showing his displeasure, Kwon Su-hyeok went and sat in an appropriate spot. Nikolai didn’t specifically ask him to come closer. The interpreter sat beside him, and Jeon Mi-nam stepped back toward the door.

Nikolai poured vodka into two glasses in succession. Then, he slid one of the glasses toward Kwon Su-hyeok. The interpreter moved the glass in front of Kwon Su-hyeok.

“Since we’ve met like this, let’s have a drink to set a good mood.”

Nikolai raised his glass into the air. Kwon Su-hyeok followed suit, slightly raising his glass. The two of them downed the vodka while keeping their eyes fixed on each other.

Kwon Su-hyeok remained composed even after drinking the strong liquor, which was well over 40 percent. He didn’t even frown for a split second. An intrigued smile spread across Nikolai’s lips. The two of them emptied two more glasses in succession before starting the conversation.

“First, we are pleased to do business with your company. We are well aware of your company’s reputation. We hope that a good contract will be concluded with us for mutual benefit.”

“I agree.”

“And so, regarding the contract you sent in advance…”

Nikolai brought up the main point. It was the moment the interpreter was about to translate his words. Suddenly, with a loud thud, the entire space shook violently.

“…!”

“…!”

Suddenly, the previously still floor surged upward, and the ceiling and walls came crashing down. The lights went out, and darkness descended instantly. Because of the thick dust, it was impossible to see even an inch ahead. Shouts and screams erupted from all directions. It all happened in an instant, completely unexpected.

There was no time to figure out what had happened. He had to get his body out of there immediately. Jeon Mi-nam raised his arm to block the debris pouring down over his head and searched for Kwon Su-hyeok.

“President!”

“Aaaaah!”

“Aaaagh!”

However, his voice was buried under the ensuing explosions and screams. Stones fell on his head, making it impossible to keep his senses.

In the darkness, as Jeon Mi-nam groped around, his fingertips touched a plush sofa. He reached out more desperately. Soon, his rough grip caught someone’s collar. Jeon Mi-nam grabbed him firmly and blindly rushed out of the room.

However, because the frame had twisted, the doorframe was distorted, and the door would not open easily.

“Damn it.”

He slammed his entire body against the door. The gap in the door, which had been loosening bit by bit, opened slightly. As he squeezed through that gap, stones and dust poured from the ceiling once again. Cursing, he looked around the pitch-black surroundings. Then, he headed toward the central hall. It was because a cold wind was blowing from that direction. It seemed a hole leading outside had been blasted open by the explosion.

Jeon Mi-nam hoisted the man, who was limp with his neck held in his hand, over his shoulder. Then, he ran quickly in the direction the wind was blowing.

At that moment, another massive explosion roared. Following that, a powerful vibration struck the precariously leaning building once more. For a moment, it felt as if the space was expanding greatly, and his body was thrown into the air.

His memories after that were unclear. When he snapped back to his senses and looked around, he had been thrown outside the collapsed building. It seemed he had been blown there by the immense explosive force.

“President…”

Staring blankly at the ruined building, Jeon Mi-nam soon looked down at his hand. The person he had come out with was gone. He hurriedly searched the area. Corpses were scattered everywhere, and severely injured people were bleeding and crying. In that chaos, he spotted someone in a suit lying face down. He ran to him and grabbed his shoulder to turn him over.

But it wasn’t Kwon Su-hyeok. It was the man who had been interpreting for Nikolai. Looking down at the man in despair, he checked if he was still breathing. Fortunately, a faint breath was detected.

He stood up again to search for Kwon Su-hyeok. Or rather, he tried to. But his knees gave out, and he collapsed. Since it was a force powerful enough to blow away an entire intact building, there was no way Jeon Mi-nam’s body would be unscathed. Whether his head was torn or not, blood flowed down the side of his face, dripping onto the ground. His leg also produced a heavy, recurring pain as if it were broken.

“…Ugh.”

Swallowing a groan, he steadied his ragged breath. Even though he wanted to grasp the situation keenly and respond quickly, his mind was tangled in a mess due to the sudden turn of events. He had no idea what on earth had happened.

Jeon Mi-nam scanned the surroundings with frantic eyes. People were crying out in pain everywhere. It was absolute bedlam. Dragging his throbbing leg, he checked the faces of the fallen people one by one.

But nowhere could he find any sign of Kwon Su-hyeok. The same went for the Russian interpreter who had accompanied the two of them.

“President! Where are you!”

He shouted at the top of his lungs. But no answer came from anywhere. His head throbbed, and a ringing sound echoed in both ears. As if trying to wake himself up, he struck his own head hard. Nothing improved. Even his vision began to blur abnormally.

At an ominous premonition, Jeon Mi-nam’s usually calm eyes began to shake. Once again, he called out for Kwon Su-hyeok until his throat felt like it would burst.

“President!”

In the place where a terrible silence had descended immediately after the explosion, only his blood-curdling cries echoed hollowly. The sound of sirens could be heard from afar. And that was his last memory.

* * *

“Ju-wan, are you sure you don’t need my help?”

Baek Do-un looked at Ju-wan, who was preoccupied with preparing breakfast. He had his backside glued to the sofa and only his head poking toward the kitchen.

“It’s okay to just heat up the leftover curry from yesterday.”

“It’s almost ready, Teacher. Please wait just a moment.”

Perhaps it was an illusion, but Ju-wan’s movements seemed to have become faster. Baek Do-un wore a pleased expression as he listened to the sound of dishes and something bubbling in the kitchen. It was a sound that always felt comforting to the ears.

Thinking he would watch the news until the meal was ready, he picked up the remote. Then, he glanced at Jaguar, who was sprawled on the sofa. The animal was staring intently at the rabbit fluttering right in front of its nose, occasionally poking it. Every time he did, the rabbit invariably curled its body up.

“Su-nam, I told you not to bully Todori. Get along.”

But Jaguar paid no heed to Baek Do-un’s scolding. With his tail waving, he was completely absorbed in trying to make a ball out of the rabbit. Eventually, Baek Do-un stepped in. He scooped up the rabbit with both hands and leaned back heavily, practically crushing Jaguar beneath him.

Then, Jaguar pushed his back away. Baek Do-un’s body slid right off the sofa.

“Hey, are you going to be this petty? You really act exactly like your Hyung.”

As if saying I’m your benefactor, Jaguar made a protest that was impossible to understand. Jaguar simply let out a long yawn and smacked his lips.

Soon, Ju-wan came out with a piece of meat to feed him. As if by magic, Jaguar’s expression changed. His bright yellow eyes glittered as they quietly followed Ju-wan’s movements. At that sudden change, Baek Do-un shook his head. Truly, like owner, like beast.

“Su-nam, let’s eat breakfast.”

Jaguar leaped lightly off the sofa. He rubbed his head against Ju-wan’s leg, circled around him once, and then peeked at and smelled the piece of meat Ju-wan had placed for him. Ju-wan looked at him lovingly, grabbed his thick neck with both hands, and gave him a hearty scratch. The animal, who would growl if anyone even looked at him while eating, obediently accepted Ju-wan’s touch. He seemed to think he was some kind of big cat.

Baek Do-un clicked his tongue and turned on the TV. The news happened to be broadcasting. However, the report screen looked somewhat chaotic and frantic. Whether it was because it was filmed with a crude camera or because it was footage taken by an ordinary person rather than a professional, the focus kept slipping and the image was shaking.

He brushed it off, thinking some kind of terror, building collapse, or earthquake had occurred somewhere. That was because the region and the victims shown on the screen seemed to have nothing to do with Korea.

“…What happened now.”

His impression of the urgent news was merely one of pity. That was until the correspondent’s voice reached his ears.

“Teacher, please eat your meal.”

“Wait a second.”

Baek Do-un’s gaze was glued to the TV screen. For some reason, his usually relaxed face had hardened seriously. At that, Ju-wan also shifted his gaze to the TV.

The building that had collapsed from the explosion came into view first, followed by the sight of police and firefighters busily scouring the scene. As Ju-wan tried to figure out what was happening, he suddenly felt his heart sink. It was because a headline appeared at the bottom of the screen: ‘Bomb Terror in Moscow, Capital of Russia.’

[A large-scale explosion has occurred at a club on the outskirts of Moscow, the capital of Russia. At least 14 people have died and dozens have been injured in this accident. Among them are Korean victims. The identities of the victims have not yet been revealed. Since there is a high possibility that the remaining victims are buried under the collapsed building, the number of casualties is expected to increase. Investigative authorities have suggested the possibility of terror caused by a power struggle between Mafia factions, based on testimony that a famous Mafia group frequently visited the club. This was Kim Young-doo in Moscow.]

Strangely, the reporter’s voice felt like it was piercing his ears. It was painful to listen to. Yet, thinking what if, he listened intently to every word.

The place where the explosion occurred was only in the same administrative district as where Kwon Su-hyeok was currently staying. Of course, since he said he had an appointment late at night, he might have met a dealer at a club. But there was no guarantee that it was the same place as the accident site.

Despite trying hard to deny it, his heart hammered in his chest. A chilling sensation swept down from the nape of his neck to the soles of his feet. His hands began to tremble violently.

“…No, it can’t be.”

Baek Do-un seemed to be thinking the same thing; he looked at Ju-wan with an ambiguous smile. Noticing that Ju-wan’s complexion looked grim, he tried to snap him out of it, asking, “Ju-wan?”

Ju-wan, who had been standing blankly, suddenly rushed into the bedroom. Baek Do-un hurried after him.

Frantically fumbling across the bed and the nightstand, Ju-wan searched for his phone. After a long while, he found it under the pillow. With shaking hands, he pressed a speed-dial number and attempted a call. The ringing tone continued, agonizingly like the alarm of a heart rate monitor.

Before long, an automated voice announced that the customer was not answering. Ju-wan’s face turned pale. Maybe the meeting isn’t over yet. Maybe he came back after work and is showering, or has fallen into a deep sleep.

Clinging to that optimism, he called Kwon Su-hyeok again. However, the ringing continued, only fueling his anxiety, and Kwon Su-hyeok never answered. Baek Do-un stopped Ju-wan as he tried to press the call button once more with trembling hands. Only then did Ju-wan’s vacant gaze turn toward him.

“What’s wrong, Ju-wan?”

“He’s not answering. Su-hyeok isn’t answering the phone….”

Ju-wan barely managed to part his lips. His lips were twitching so much that it seemed difficult to utter a single word. The massive anxiety swallowing Ju-wan transferred directly to Baek Do-un. Baek Do-un snatched the phone from Ju-wan. Then, he tried calling Jeon Mi-nam instead of Kwon Su-hyeok.

Once again, the cruel ringing tone echoed. But even after waiting for a long time, Jeon Mi-nam did not answer. Only the indifferent automated voice flowed out, stating that he was unable to take the call. Baek Do-un and Ju-wan’s eyes met. Both were left speechless by the ominous premonition. Neither dared to try calling again. An unidentified terror began to gnaw at their insides.

Jaguar, who had been eating, sensed the unusual atmosphere and entered the bedroom. The beast stared blankly at the two shell-shocked men and simply tilted its head.

What on earth had happened?

* * *

Jeon Mi-nam entered a mansion accompanied by Nikolai’s interpreter. His head was wrapped in thick bandages, and he had to use crutches due to a broken leg. He had many other wounds, large and small, across his body, but it was a relief that it stopped at that.

The interpreter, whom Jeon Mi-nam had rescued after mistaking him for Kwon Su-hyeok, had only suffered a mild concussion, a sprained wrist, and some abrasions. After waking up a full day later, he told the despondent Jeon Mi-nam that he would let him meet Nikolai. Since Nikolai being safe meant there was a high possibility that Kwon Su-hyeok was also alive, Jeon Mi-nam readily followed the interpreter.

“The accident happened in our territory, and it was our fault for not being prepared, so the Boss will cooperate as much as possible. I am sorry that such an unfortunate incident occurred.”

The interpreter apologized repeatedly throughout the way to Nikolai’s house. Rather than being truly sorry, it felt as though his pride had been wounded by being struck so unexpectedly.

The security had been tight from the moment they entered, and inside the mansion, men in black suits stood like sentinels in every corridor. At some point, two guards had attached themselves to his front and back. It was unlikely they were there to protect the visitor or provide friendly guidance.

“This way.”

The interpreter and the guards stopped in front of a room. When they knocked, Nikolai’s voice was heard from inside. The lead guard personally opened the door and stepped back. Jeon Mi-nam entered the room with the interpreter.

It was a spacious room. The floor was entirely natural marble, and the sunlight streaming through the large windows was so bright that lighting was unnecessary. In that vast space sat a large office desk and a reception sofa.

The interpreter gave a deeply respectful greeting to Nikolai, who was leaning back on the sofa. Nikolai, who had been receiving treatment for his wounds from a physician, raised his head and stared at him—or more accurately, at Jeon Mi-nam behind him. When their eyes met, Jeon Mi-nam gave a slight bow. Nikolai nodded and gestured with his eyes toward the opposite seat, as if telling him to sit. The interpreter quickly reached out with both hands and said, “Please, have a seat.”

Once Jeon Mi-nam sat down, Nikolai dismissed the physician. He also didn’t seem to be seriously injured.

Nikolai scanned Jeon Mi-nam in silence, then placed a hand on his chest and muttered something. The interpreter conveyed his meaning.

“He says he regrets that such an unpleasant accident occurred.”

“Excuse me, but do you know who was responsible for this?”

Upon hearing Jeon Mi-nam’s question through the interpreter, Nikolai clenched his fist. Then, suppressing his anger, he answered in a heavily lowered voice.

“There is an organization that is our competitor. We were originally one branch, but we split completely due to animosity since the previous generation. Because of that, there are still many overlapping interests, so things like this happen occasionally. I am sorry.”

It was something Jeon Mi-nam had suspected to some extent. The club itself felt like a hideout frequented only by a specific few. Therefore, if someone had planned and executed a terror attack, the target was more likely to be Nikolai than Kwon Su-hyeok. This also meant there was a lower probability that Kwon Su-hyeok had been kidnapped or suffered violent retaliation.

“By any chance, have you seen our President? Or were any other Asians found among the unidentified persons?”

He asked bluntly. He didn’t have the mental leeway to delay any further. The interpreter faithfully conveyed Jeon Mi-nam’s words. Nikolai answered immediately without a moment’s hesitation. His tone was one of absolute certainty.

“We have not yet found the whereabouts of your President. No other Asians were found among the additional casualties. However, since all victims of this accident were transported to hospitals near the scene as soon as they were found, he says he will deploy his personnel to find him. Please do not worry too much. Once we move, we will be able to find the President quickly.”

He did not doubt the Mafia’s tracking abilities. If they wanted to find someone, they were the type to get their hands on them even if it was just a corpse. It was only a matter of time.

What worried him most was that it had been two days since the accident, yet there had been no contact from Kwon Su-hyeok. Even if he had lost his phone in the chaos, there should have been no problem returning to the hotel. He feared that Su-hyeok was still lying unconscious somewhere, or that he had been injured that severely.

Ju-wan, who had been sitting lifelessly, suddenly stood up and snatched the phone. It was before the ringtone could even sound. Then, as if by magic, a call came through.

“Hello? Mi-nam?”

He shouted frantically into the phone. His heart thudded ominously at the fact that it wasn’t Kwon Su-hyeok, but for now, it didn’t matter as long as he could hear news of him. Baek Do-un, who had been brewing tea in the kitchen to calm Ju-wan, rushed over in a single breath. Jaguar, who had been clinging to Ju-wan’s side, also snapped his head up.

Yes, it’s me.

“What happened? Why can’t I get through to Su-hyeok or you?”

I’m sorry. I didn’t have the chance to contact you.

“What about Su-hyeok? Is he next to you? Is he safe?”

He pressed for answers without even taking a breath. Jeon Mi-nam’s voice was weaker than usual. For some reason, he sounded exhausted. Moreover, there was a strange hint of hesitation. Ju-wan’s heart became uncontrollably anxious. Baek Do-un, also anxious, kept urging Ju-wan.

“What is he saying, Ju-wan? Huh? What does he say?”

…The President has gone missing.

At the desperate news, Ju-wan froze like a stone. His eyes widened blankly, and his lips parted, trembling. The two hands gripping the phone convulsed piteously, like aspen leaves. Baek Do-un gripped those hands tightly, asking, “What’s wrong?”

Jaguar gently licked Ju-wan’s pale face. Normally, Ju-wan would have shrunk his neck or laughed, saying it tickled, but he gave no reaction. Then, as if trying to check if he was still alive, the beast nudged him with its snout, thump, thump. Still, Ju-wan did not move an inch.

“Missing….”

He murmured softly. It was a word that flowed out unconsciously, bypassing the thought circuits that had stopped due to the great shock.

Still, for Baek Do-un, it was a clue to understand Ju-wan’s agitation. Baek Do-un carefully took the phone from Ju-wan’s pale hand. Then, he spoke to Jeon Mi-nam in a calmer tone.

“You’re saying Su-hyeok is missing? Don’t tell me it’s because of that explosion reported in the news? Explain everything.”

There was a bomb terror attack at the location where the meeting with the trader was supposed to take place. Fortunately, everyone who attended the meeting at that time is safe, and the injuries are not serious, so I believe the President is the same. However, we have not yet confirmed the President’s whereabouts.

“…Since he went for business, it’ll be difficult to actively get help from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs or the local investigative authorities.”

Yes. But fortunately, the Mafia organization that was the trader has offered to help find the President. They are currently deploying personnel to search everywhere, and I am also continuing to look through places where the President might be, so news will come soon. I intended to contact you once the situation here was settled, but I thought you would worry too much.

“Of course we’re worried. Sigh, what about you, Mi-nam? Are you not hurt?”

I’m fine.

“How can I believe that?”

Baek Do-un clicked his tongue bitterly. Jeon Mi-nam was the kind of man who always said he was fine even if his head burst and blood streamed down, or if a rusty nail was driven into his thigh, or a sharp dagger pierced his abdomen. Even for someone as strong as him, who could withstand most shocks, there was no way he was unscathed by a force that blew up an entire building. Furthermore, with Kwon Su-hyeok missing, it was obvious he wasn’t resting properly with an impaired body.

His mind became a tangled mess. The thing he had feared had finally happened. Why did he have to visit that place at that exact time?

If everyone who attended the meeting survived as Jeon Mi-nam said, there was no reason Kwon Su-hyeok wouldn’t have made it out. He could be daringly certain of this without any evidence.

However, he wondered why Su-hyeok hadn’t contacted them somehow if he were alive and conscious. Where and how was he that his whereabouts remained unknown?

As he organized his thoughts, Ju-wan desperately tugged at Baek Do-un’s sleeve.

“Teacher, please let me talk to him. Please.”

“Okay, here.”

Ju-wan clutched the phone preciousy. His blank pupils shook wildly with an overwhelming confusion. Soon, he poured out words incoherently.

“I’ll go too. Please let me help find him. I’ll go there and….”

No. Mr. Park Ju-wan, please wait there. The President might contact you the moment he regains consciousness. I will definitely find the President. Please trust me and wait.

“Ugh….”

Ju-wan bit his lip painfully. Tears welled up in his eyes.

He was dying to fly to Russia right this instant. Nothing would change if Ju-wan went himself. Far from being helpful, he might only be a nuisance. As Jeon Mi-nam requested, simply waiting and enduring was the best course of action. He knew that, but even knowing, it was hard to accept. A sense of helplessness weighed down his entire body.

“I’m begging you. Please find him. Please find Su-hyeok.”

He pleaded, squeezing out a voice drowned in sobs. At the pitiful and earnest plea, Baek Do-un placed a hand on his forehead and let out a deep sigh. Jaguar looked restless, watching Ju-wan, who looked as if he would cry if touched even slightly.

Yes. I will contact you again soon. Please wait without worrying too much.

The call ended with Jeon Mi-nam’s heavy parting words. Even after that, Ju-wan could not let go of the phone. Baek Do-un, watching him pitifully, slowly took the phone from his hand.

“I should have stopped him.”

“Ju-wan.”

“I really should have. I should have asked if he didn’t have to go, I should have tried to hold him back just once….”

If only he had known this would happen, if only he had known that the vague anxiety he felt when letting Kwon Su-hyeok leave was something this immense.

Jaguar, flustered by Ju-wan’s anxious state, let his two ears droop. Soon, the beast tried to comfort him by slowly rubbing its head against Ju-wan’s neck. Ju-wan suddenly hugged the beast’s head and buried his face in it. His body trembled thinly, and before long, Jaguar’s fur became gradually damp.

* * *

Jeon Mi-nam searched the hospitals near the club where the explosion occurred as if searching for a flea. Since it was an outlying area, there was only one general hospital, and most were shabby private clinics. He repeatedly checked not only the admitted patients but also the patients who had left after receiving simple treatment to see if there were any Asians. However, nowhere was there an Asian visitor, let alone someone who resembled Kwon Su-hyeok.

He also received real-time updates from Nikolai’s intelligence sources regarding the progress of the rescue operations at the scene and whether additional victims had been found. Unfortunately, there were no significant findings. He didn’t know if it was a good thing or a bad thing that there were no Asians among the continuously updated casualties.

If Kwon Su-hyeok had regained consciousness, he would have contacted Jeon Mi-nam himself or returned to the hotel. If he were too severely injured to do so, he should have been discovered by someone already. Yet, no trace of him could be found in any of the hospitals where the explosion victims were transported.

Only two assumptions remained: either Kwon Su-hyeok had not yet woken up, or he had not been rescued. Neither was good, but the latter was truly the worst.

As time passed, his anxiety grew. He couldn’t be at peace for a single moment due to the obsession and impatience to find Kwon Su-hyeok as quickly as possible. Not a sip of water or a piece of bread would go down.

He examined all the hospitals in the cities adjacent to the accident site. The larger the facility, the less they cooperated, citing patient information protection. In those cases, he had no choice but to scour the hospitals. He didn’t stop at checking every single patient in the wards; he even stormed into the emergency rooms. He didn’t miss patients waiting for CT or MRI scans. It was all in vain.

Around that time, a siren wailed in the distance. Instinctively, he chased the sound. Walking quickly on his crutches, he eventually threw them aside and ran with a limp. A patient was being unloaded from an ambulance that had just arrived. Despite the medical staff’s attempts to stop him, he forced his way forward to check the face. It wasn’t Kwon Su-hyeok. A hollow sigh escaped him.

“…Haa, haa.”

Would he ever be able to find Kwon Su-hyeok like this? A distant despair swept through his entire body. Having spent the whole day traversing a strange foreign land, a stronger fatigue than usual washed over him. His injured leg cramped, producing a dull pain. He gritted his teeth and endured it.

If only he had made a quicker judgment then, if only he had protected Kwon Su-hyeok more carefully, this wouldn’t have happened. Driven by useless guilt, he pushed himself to the limit.

“Sir!”

It was then. The interpreter, who had gone to make a call, came running while waving his hand. Seeing the bright expression on his face, it seemed there was some progress. Jeon Mi-nam quickly approached him, even while limping.

“What is it?”

“There is an Asian patient presumed to be the President at a clinic 3km from here.”

“Let’s go.”

“Yes. This way.”

The two immediately took a prepared car and moved to the reported clinic. It was only 3km away. It was a distance that could be reached without difficulty even by running. He didn’t know why it felt so far while traveling by car.

As soon as the car reached the destination, he flung the door open and stepped out. In the waiting room, three or four attendants in black suits were pacing. The people who had come for treatment only rolled their eyes at the menacing atmosphere. The medical staff were the same, walking on eggshells around the men who looked like Mafia members to anyone.

One of the attendants guided the two to an examination room. He flung the door open without knocking. An elderly doctor looked back, startled. The nurse assisting him let out a short scream in shock.

“Excuse me.”

Jeon Mi-nam first gave a polite bow to the two frightened people. The interpreter conveyed his words and explained the purpose of their visit. The doctor and nurse looked at each other with bewildered expressions. Something felt wrong.

After hearing something from the doctor, the interpreter scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

“I’m so sorry, Doctor. It seems there was a slight misunderstanding during the communication process. The Asian patient I mentioned isn’t currently at this hospital; he had already visited and left. I was told he came in with a head injury. They checked his ID, and he presented a Korean passport.”

“Then would it be possible to know the patient’s name? And where and how badly he was injured?”

The interpreter demanded the disclosure of information from the doctor and nurse. When the doctor declined with a troubled expression, the interpreter intentionally kicked the desk and began shouting. It was a method befitting a member of the mafia.

The doctor reluctantly nodded and signaled the nurse to comply with their demands. With trembling hands, the nurse opened a cabinet and pulled out the medical records. The interpreter took them immediately and checked the patients’ names. Since it was a small clinic, there weren’t many patients.

Jeon Mi-nam’s hand, which had been flipping through the pages without hesitation, suddenly paused. A name scribbled in English caught his eye. It was unmistakably ‘Suhyeok Kwon.’

Jeon Mi-nam immediately thrust the medical record toward the doctor.

“This is the man. What was his condition when he arrived at the hospital?”

Terrified, the doctor answered everything he was asked. As the interpreter listened intently, his face visibly stiffened. It seemed something unexpected had happened.

“What is he saying?”

Urgent, Mi-nam pressed for an answer. With a perplexed expression, the interpreter relayed the doctor’s response in detail.

“He came in with a head injury, but the wound itself wasn’t that serious. He had a mild concussion and a small laceration. There were no signs of cerebral hemorrhage, so the external wound was sutured immediately. They asked him what had happened, but apparently, he had no idea. He couldn’t believe the current year, the date, or even the fact that he was in Moscow. Also, contrary to the date of birth on his passport, he kept insisting that he was twenty-five years old. According to the doctor, it seems he suffered temporary mental confusion or amnesia due to the impact to his head…”

A deep frown creased Jeon Mi-nam’s brow. He absorbed every single word. In truth, it wasn’t a complicated story. Yet, it didn’t register in his mind immediately. No, he didn’t want to believe it was true.

“Are you saying the President is experiencing psychological issues?”

“Yes. Because he keeps saying he’s twenty-five, they suspect he has lost his memories from that point onward. Since he’s a foreigner, they reported it to the local police station, but the patient disappeared before the police arrived. They told him he must return to have the wound disinfected and the sutures removed, but it seems he hasn’t appeared since.”

That was why. That was why Kwon Su-hyeok hadn’t made contact despite being awake and well. If he had lost part of his memory due to the shock of the explosion—if his consciousness had regressed to about ten years ago—he wouldn’t even know why he was in Russia right now.

He was confused, but he had to stay calm. He tried to guess how a twenty-five-year-old Kwon Su-hyeok would behave if he were suddenly dropped into Moscow. Around that time, Su-hyeok had been released from prison before Jeon Mi-nam himself. He recalled Su-hyeok’s face, beaming with joy, saying he was finally going to see his younger brother.

At that age, he would think there was no reason to stay in Russia. With his body healed and his passport in hand, wouldn’t he try to return to Korea? To see the brother who had died ten years ago, or perhaps to take revenge on his enemy.

“I need to go to the airport first. If possible, could you investigate the flights to Korea over the last three days and the passenger manifests?”

“Yes. I’ll do that. I’ll take you to the airport for now.”

Jeon Mi-nam and the interpreter left the hospital immediately. The guards followed behind them. One of the attendants took the wheel instead of the interpreter. From the passenger seat, the interpreter continued making phone calls, seemingly checking the passenger information Mi-nam had requested.

The car raced toward the airport without pause. He could only hope it wasn’t too late.

* * *

Ever since speaking with Jeon Mi-nam, Ju-wan had been in a state of instability. He would sit on the sofa for a moment, only to quickly stand up and pace back and forth in front of the entrance, or stare blankly out the window before returning to the bedroom to curl up tightly, hugging Jaguar. When that didn’t calm him, he would repeat the routine—from the bed to the living room, to the entrance, to the window, and back to the bedroom.

He never let his silent phone leave his hand for a single second. Fearing the battery might run low, he frequently kept it plugged into the charger, turning on the screen needlessly to check if any messages had arrived or if the signal was strong.

After hearing the news of Kwon Su-hyeok’s disappearance from Jeon Mi-nam, Ju-wan hadn’t touched a single drop of water. Baek Do-un could only watch him with pity. He tried to persuade him to get some sleep, but it was useless. To the current Ju-wan, no amount of comfort or prescription would be of any help.

It was just as Ju-wan was staring at his phone again and letting out a long sigh. The ringtone began to blare loudly. Ju-wan, Baek Do-un, and even Jaguar flinched in surprise. Without a moment to settle his heart, Ju-wan answered the call.

“Hello? Mi-nam!”

Baek Do-un also bolted upright and stared intently at Ju-wan. Ju-wan gripped the phone with both hands, struggling to steady his breathing. He swallowed hard.

Yes, it’s me.

“What about Su-hyeok? Did you find him?”

No. Not the President yet. I’m sorry.

“…Ah.”

However, I have found out where the President is.

“Really? Where?”

It seems he took a flight to Korea. I confirmed the President’s name on the passenger manifest of a flight that departed for Korea last night. He should arrive at Incheon in an hour or two.

“I’ll go. I’ll go to the airport to meet him.”

Ju-wan leaped up from his seat. If left alone, he looked ready to run out exactly as he was, without even putting on a coat. Hearing that Kwon Su-hyeok was returning, that he could see him soon, Ju-wan didn’t want to delay that moment by even a second.

But soon, Ju-wan’s entire body began to tremble. His legs, which had been barely holding him up, gave way, and he collapsed back onto the bed. It was because the tension in his entire body suddenly vanished at the news that Kwon Su-hyeok was safe. Even then, whispers of “Thank you, thank you” leaked from his lips.

Before that, Mr. Park Ju-wan.

“Yes?”

There is one thing you should know. A slight problem has occurred with the President.

“A problem…?”

His soaring heart plummeted. His heart began to sink heavily, thumping against his chest.

Come to think of it, it was strange. If Kwon Su-hyeok were fine, why hadn’t he met with Jeon Mi-nam? Why did Jeon Mi-nam only find out he was heading to Korea after checking the passenger manifest? A sinister premonition licked the back of his neck with a chill.

He pressed his lips firmly together and steadied his wavering heart. He vowed to endure whatever news came his way. Since Kwon Su-hyeok was safe and returning on his own strength, he felt he shouldn’t hope for anything more.

However, the news that followed left his mind blank.

It seems the President has suffered partial amnesia due to the shock of the accident.

“Partial amnesia…?”

Ju-wan’s vacant gaze turned toward Baek Do-un. Baek Do-un’s face contorted as he asked, “What did he say?”

Yes. According to the local doctor who examined the President, his memory seems to have regressed to about ten years ago. He was confused about what year it currently is.

“What on earth does that…”

In other words, the President currently has no memory of anything after the age of twenty-five. He may not know me, Dr. Baek, Jaguar, or even you, Mr. Park Ju-wan.

Something that had been pounding inside him finally dropped with a thud. It felt as if the floor beneath him was collapsing into darkness. Even though he had listened to Jeon Mi-nam’s words without missing a single syllable, it was hard to comprehend. His head was beyond blank; it was dizzy.

Baek Do-un looked worriedly at the frozen Ju-wan and took the phone from him. He then questioned Jeon Mi-nam further about the details. Meanwhile, Ju-wan was slowly heading toward the wardrobe. Baek Do-un’s gaze followed him closely.

“…I understand for now. I’ll take Ju-wan to the airport. You’ll be coming back soon too, right, Mi-nam? Contact me when you arrive.”

Yes, I will.

By the time the call with Jeon Mi-nam ended, Ju-wan had finished getting ready and turned back to Baek Do-un. A sort of fighting spirit had ignited in his previously vacant eyes. He seemed determined to find Kwon Su-hyeok and bring him back. It didn’t matter how much memory Kwon Su-hyeok had lost right now. It wouldn’t be too late to solve all the problems once they met. The immediate priority was simply finding him.

“Let’s go, Doctor.”

Having regained his energy, Ju-wan led the way vigorously. Baek Do-un grabbed his coat and car keys and followed him. Jaguar followed them to the entrance to see them off. Ju-wan, about to leave while haphazardly shoving his feet into his sneakers, looked back at the dog. He knelt down in front of him and cupped the dog’s face with both hands.

“Su-nam, Hyung will definitely bring him back.”

He vowed in a resolute voice. Jaguar listened quietly and then repeatedly rubbed his cheek against Ju-wan’s hands. Ju-wan stroked the dog’s head and chin before standing up. There was no more time to delay. He flung open the front door and stepped out with hurried strides.

* * *

They drove to the airport without stopping. As soon as they arrived at the arrivals hall, they abandoned the car and ran inside. Flights were listed on a large electronic display. Gasping for breath, they began searching for the flight from Moscow.

“Ju-wan, what was the flight number?”

“SU250.”

“SU250… Ah! There, 250!”

Baek Do-un pointed to the top of the display. The flight ‘SU250’ soon entered Ju-wan’s field of vision. He further confirmed that the departure point was Moscow and that the flight status was currently ‘arrived.’

“Ju-wan, you wait in front of the gate for now. I’ll go scout the arrivals hall.”

Ju-wan nodded in agreement. Leaving him behind, Baek Do-un searched the arrivals hall. He entered every restroom and shop to check the faces of the people there and carefully observed everyone passing by. Just in case, he even went outside to weave through the passengers lining up for taxis or limousine buses.

But Kwon Su-hyeok was nowhere to be seen. After wandering for a long time without success, he returned to the arrivals hall. He felt that doing it this way would be endless. After some thought, he headed to a nearby information desk.

“Excuse me, I’m urgently looking for someone. Could you please make an announcement?”

“May I ask why?”

“A friend of mine took a flight alone while suffering from a head injury due to an accident. The flight is said to have arrived, but I haven’t been able to find him yet.”

He briefly explained the situation and requested help. The desk clerk soon made a phone call. As soon as he was told that an announcement would be made shortly, he bowed and set out to find Kwon Su-hyeok again.

His lungs stung from running without pause. Heat kept rising, making his whole body feel stifling. But there was no time to catch his breath. If he didn’t catch Kwon Su-hyeok inside the airport, he would have to wander for much longer.

[We are looking for a person. Mr. Kwon Su-hyeok, who has returned from Moscow. Mr. Kwon Su-hyeok, please come to the information desk in the center of the arrivals hall immediately upon hearing this announcement. We repeat, we are looking for…]

Eventually, the announcement echoed throughout the arrivals hall. In the meantime, the gates opened and closed incessantly, pouring out travelers. Ju-wan stood on his tiptoes, craning his neck to scan the crowds of people emerging. Even though he knew that the tall Kwon Su-hyeok would be visible at a glance, he was too anxious to stay still for a moment.

However, as Kwon Su-hyeok failed to appear despite the wait, his heart grew increasingly uneasy. He became uncontrollably anxious, fearing he might have missed him.

He moved to a spot where the gate was more visible. Because his eyes were fixed on the gate, he didn’t notice a cart approaching. As a result, the heavy cart slammed into his shin.

“Ugh…”

“Oh, are you okay? I’m so sorry.”

The person who collided with Ju-wan was flustered. Since it was entirely their fault, they apologized politely.

“Yes, I’m fine. I was distracted and didn’t look properly. I’m sorry.”

“No, it was my fault too… Are you sure you don’t need to go to a clinic?”

“Yes. I’m really fine. Sorry again.”

He bowed to the persistently worried stranger and moved away. Then, he hurriedly looked around, wondering if Kwon Su-hyeok had passed by in that brief moment.

It was then. A tall man, appearing a head taller than others, entered Ju-wan’s field of vision. He was walking away with long strides. He seemed to be heading for a taxi. Staring at him in a daze, Ju-wan blindly chased after him. His shin, hit by the cart, throbbed, and he limped, but he grit his teeth and ran as fast as he could.

“Su-hyeok!”

He called out to the man loudly. However, the man did not look back and strode out of the arrivals hall. Ju-wan hurried after him. He kept getting slowed down as he tried to push through the lines of bus passengers. The faster he ran, the more the biting wind lashed at him, making his eyes sting.

“Su-hyeok!”

He screamed Kwon Su-hyeok’s name until his throat felt like it would burst. But the man he presumed to be Su-hyeok walked leisurely toward the taxi stand. Then, he climbed into the back seat of a waiting taxi. It looked as if the car would leave at any moment.

Ju-wan recklessly blocked the front of the taxi as it tried to depart. The taxi, which had been about to move, screeched to a halt and sounded a sharp horn. Inside, the driver gestured wildly with a menacing expression.

Fumbling along the side of the car, Ju-wan went around and flung open the back door.

“Haa, haa…”

The man in the back seat stared at Ju-wan with bewildered eyes. In an instant, the strength left Ju-wan’s hand. It wasn’t Kwon Su-hyeok.

“Who are you?”

The man glared at Ju-wan with a look of resentment. The taxi driver’s cursing and gesturing became even more fierce. Ju-wan bowed his head and apologized.

“…I’m sorry. I mistook you for someone else. I’m truly sorry.”

He apologized several times. The man scanned Ju-wan up and down as if he had never seen such a strange person before, then slammed the door shut. The taxi quickly sped away. Even then, Ju-wan stood in that spot for a long time. He had lost all his strength and couldn’t move a single step.

“Ju-wan!”

Around then, Baek Do-un’s voice called out from behind. Turning around, he saw Do-un running toward him. Do-un pulled Ju-wan onto the sidewalk and gasped for air. His shoulders heaved and he frowned in distress.

“Haa, ha, Ju-wan. What is it? Did you find Su-hyeok?”

It seemed he had chased after Ju-wan after seeing him run after someone while calling Su-hyeok’s name. That meant Baek Do-un hadn’t found Kwon Su-hyeok either. Ju-wan’s expression immediately turned gloomy. He shook his head weakly.

“No. I thought it was Su-hyeok, but it wasn’t.”

“Haa, where the hell is this bastard?”

Baek Do-un ruffled his hair in frustration. His pale face was drenched in sweat. Ju-wan was no different.

Had they come too late? Or had they simply failed to spot him among the massive crowd? He felt confused and hopeless.

“Young Master!”

While he was pondering how to handle the situation, someone shouted from behind. Baek Do-un turned his head with a look of suspicion. This was because the employees of Baek Mu Corporation still called him that because of his deceased biological father.

Sure enough, a group of burly men in black suits came running over. Then, as if by agreement, they lined up and bowed deeply toward Baek Do-un. They also bowed again to Ju-wan, who was standing behind him, saying, “Hello.” Suddenly, the surrounding crowd’s attention shifted toward them.

“What are you doing here?”

“We were contacted by General Manager Jeon. We’ve been deploying men to search as soon as we arrived, but we haven’t found the President yet.”

Indeed, Jeon Mi-nam wouldn’t have sent only Ju-wan and Baek Do-un to the airport. There was rarely a better method for searching than using sheer numbers. The problem was that they, too, had failed to find Kwon Su-hyeok.

If Kwon Su-hyeok had arrived safely in Korea and had already left the airport, searching only the airport would yield no results. They needed to change their approach.

“Let’s do this. Can you verify if Kwon Su-hyeok has officially entered Korea?”

“Yes.”

“Then look into that immediately and contact me. And as for the people here, it would be best if they searched for Kwon Su-hyeok a bit more. We cannot rule out the possibility that he hasn’t left the airport yet.”

“Understood, Young Master.”

“Also, Su-nam is home alone right now. Since Kwon Su-hyeok might go home, please station some personnel there as well.”

“Yes. I will do as you command. Do you have any other instructions, Young Master?”

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t use that title, ‘Young Master,’ from now on.”

The man receiving the orders paused, momentarily speechless. Baek Do-un shook his phone as if telling him to make the calls, then led Ju-wan away.

“What are you doing! Move it, quickly!”

“Yes, sir!”

The men’s voices boomed behind them. Ju-wan instinctively looked back at them before shifting his gaze back to Baek Do-un. He had no idea where Baek Do-un was suddenly heading.

Without any explanation, Baek Do-un dragged Ju-wan back to where he had abandoned his car. He ran up to a parking attendant who was about to move the ownerless vehicle and apologized. The attendant scowled. It was clear that the abandoned car had been a significant nuisance.

“Hey! Is this your car?”

“Yes. I’m sorry. I was in such a rush.”

“How can you just leave your car like this just because you’re in a rush?”

“I apologize. It was a hassle for you, wasn’t it? I am truly sorry, sir.”

“Ugh, just move the car, quickly!”

Maintaining a humble posture and apologizing until the end, Baek Do-un put Ju-wan in the passenger seat. He then quickly circled the car and slid into the driver’s seat. After giving a collective bow to the huffing parking attendant, he hurriedly left the airport.

Ju-wan felt as if he were dreaming a disjointed dream. He had been completely frazzled ever since he heard the news of a bombing terror attack in a distant country.

Baek Do-un kept his foot on the accelerator, racing forward without hesitation. He drove as if he had a definite destination in mind. That was why Ju-wan was curious.

“By the way, sir. Where are we going right now?”

“That bastard Su-hyeok—you said he only remembers things up until ten years ago, right?”

“Yes. That’s what I heard.”

“This is just an example, so try answering. If your memories regressed to the past and you thought you were a high school student, where would you go?”

“Um… first to the school I attended or the house I lived in at that age…”

Ju-wan, who had answered without hesitation, swallowed the rest of his words. His eyes widened as if he had realized something. Baek Do-un nodded, as if to say exactly.

“I’m not a psychiatrist, so I can’t be certain. But if Su-hyeok remembers himself as twenty-five, he might be heading to where he had ties at that time. After all, Su-hyeok’s consciousness has returned to the past of ten years ago. If we follow his past, wouldn’t we run into him eventually?”

“Ah… then where should we start looking?”

At the following question, Baek Do-un gave a bitter smile.

“At twenty-five, that would be around the time Su-hyeok was just released from prison. So, first, I’m going to the house where Su-hyeok’s younger brother used to live as a lodger. The house where Su-hyeok’s sworn enemy lived.”

A deep sigh escaped Ju-wan. He knew well how Kwon Su-hyeok had lost his brother. And how much his enemy had stolen from him.

If Kwon Su-hyeok’s memories had returned to a time before he lost his brother, he would have to experience that past pain all over again every time his memories resurfaced. The areas that had long since healed and remained as scars—that unstable, raw flesh—might be torn open once more.

Ju-wan clenched his trembling fists. He wanted to see Kwon Su-hyeok right now. Yet, he felt a contradictory desire, hoping that Su-hyeok would not be present during the most horrific moment of his life. Please, he repeated countless times, praying and praying that whatever god existed would save him.

The residential area, just past lunchtime, was quiet and secluded. Only delivery vehicles for parcels or groceries passed slowly through the alleys.

Kwon Su-hyeok looked down the familiar alley with unfamiliar eyes. He was certain this was the place, but everything had changed. The roads were wider, and the multi-unit houses were gone, replaced by newly constructed buildings. The street names posted everywhere were utterly foreign.

Slowly tracing his memories, he sought out the house where his brother had lived. He had been anxious the whole way, but fortunately, that house alone remained in the same spot. However, the exterior seemed to have changed slightly.

Just then, a delivery truck stopped in front of the house. The driver took out a package and walked to the front gate. After ringing the doorbell and waiting without any response, he pounded on the gate with his fist. He even shouted at the top of his lungs, asking if anyone was home.

Due to the delivery man’s persistence, someone came out. Kwon Su-hyeok watched the slowly opening gate intently. Soon, a person presumed to be the homeowner poked his head out. It was a stranger.

“This is Kim Dong-gil’s house, right?”

“It is, but why are you making such a racket?”

“Because you’re inside and not coming out. You hate it when things are just left in front of the door.”

“I told you a cat made a mess of the boxes before! And some people just pick things up one by one.”

“That’s why I’m telling you to come out quickly.”

A small squabble broke out between the homeowner and the delivery man. After bickering for a while, both turned away, grumbling. The delivery driver got back into his truck and drove out of the alley as if angry. Kwon Su-hyeok quietly followed behind and walked toward the gate.

He knocked on the gate that had since closed. The sound of footsteps on the stairs stopped for a moment, then changed direction and came back down to the gate.

“Excuse me.”

“…Who are you?”

The homeowner, peering out through the slightly open door, had eyes full of suspicion. It was understandable; the suddenly appearing Kwon Su-hyeok was a complete stranger, and the bandage on his forehead and the small wounds were unsettling. He also exuded a somewhat dangerous and precarious aura.

Kwon Su-hyeok first glanced at the nameplate hanging next to the gate. Then, he confirmed with the homeowner who was looking at him with anxious eyes.

“Isn’t this Jo In-hyeok’s house?”

“Jo In-hyeok? No one by that name lives here.”

“I’m sure this is the house… when did he move?”

“Look, I’ve lived here for nearly ten years. I’m telling you, I don’t know anyone by that name.”

The homeowner looked troubled. Then, as if something occurred to him, he said, “Ah.”

“Are you looking for the previous owner? If so, I don’t know much. Go ask somewhere else.”

The homeowner waved his hand, asking him to leave. Kwon Su-hyeok was bewildered. This was undoubtedly Jo In-hyeok’s house. The exterior had changed and the surrounding neighborhood was quite different from his memories, but based on the address and the structure of the house glimpsed behind the owner, it was Jo In-hyeok’s house.

Yet, the strange homeowner repeatedly claimed he had lived there for nearly ten years. He said he didn’t even know a person named Jo In-hyeok. He had to meet Jo In-hyeok to reunite with his brother, but if he wasn’t here… he didn’t know where to go to find his brother.

Kwon Su-hyeok clutched his throbbing head. A few days ago, when he first regained consciousness, he had been lying on a cold floor. The surroundings were pitch black, and there was a faint smell of gunpowder. Instinctively, he sensed danger.

Before long, he heard sirens in the distance. Thinking he had to escape first, he stood up and walked aimlessly.

The street scenery he encountered was extremely alien. Even though he wasn’t in his right mind, he could tell instantly that he wasn’t in Korea. He was confused as to how he had woken up in such a place.

His last memory at the time was entrusting his brother to Jo In-hyeok and being imprisoned in place of him. It was a time when he was about a month away from being released after serving his full sentence.

Thinking he needed to treat his wounds first, he found a small clinic. Not knowing his own situation, he never let his guard down for a moment. His only thought was to return to Korea while avoiding other people’s eyes as much as possible. He felt he could only grasp the full situation once he reached Korea.

The doctor he met at the local clinic told him that his memories had regressed ten years. To the unbelieving Su-hyeok, the doctor showed him calendars, phones, computers, and the dates of internet articles. He simply could not accept it. It felt as if the whole world was deceiving him, like in some movie he had happened to see in the past.

However, nothing changed even after returning to Korea. A gap of ten years existed between the memories of ordinary people and his own.

Denying that fact, he had come to find Jo In-hyeok. It was because of a blind belief that meeting him would somehow fill the void in his consciousness.

But he, too, had vanished. He had tried calling his contact number before coming here, but he only heard the repeated voice guidance that the number did not exist.

He had no idea what had happened to him. For what purpose had he gone to Russia, and what had happened there to make him lose ten years of memories? Was he dreaming a terrible dream?

“Don’t just stand there, please leave.”

The homeowner showed blatant hostility. Kwon Su-hyeok snapped back to his senses and grabbed the door that was about to close.

“Isn’t there a basement room in this house? Do you not know the male student who lived there?”

“Basement room? Where would there be such a thing… Ah, you must be talking about that storage-like space under the stairs. It was so damp that it wasn’t fit for a person to live in, and things put in there would spoil quickly, so I blocked it off entirely. There were rumors that a boy was abused and starved to death there before I moved in. It’s creepy.”

“He… died?”

“I don’t know if it’s true or just a rumor. I’m telling you, I just heard it. Now go. If you keep bothering me, I’m calling the police.”

The homeowner threatened him with an annoyed expression and slammed the gate shut. The old gate made a sharp metallic sound.

Kwon Su-hyeok stood in front of the gate for a long time before slowly turning around. He still felt a strong sense of déjà vu in the changed alley. A feeling that was unfamiliar yet familiar. Suddenly, his heart began to beat heavily—thump, thump. An ominous feeling that something he had tried to bury was about to surge over him like a wave and swallow him whole. The more he tried to ignore it, the more violently his chest heaved.

“Urgh…”

Suddenly, an intense pain, as if his head were being seared with electricity, exploded. He clutched his head with both hands and staggered. In his muffled ears, he seemed to hear the sound of someone running urgently.

‘No, don’t die.’

Then, the rough breathing and the desperate whispering became vivid, as if they were echoing right beside him.

‘Please, please…!’

He shook his head violently as if to shake off the headache. Nothing improved. While his mind became tangled, his entire body began to seethe. Thick veins stood out on his neck and forehead. The fingertips clutching his head became sharp.

On a dark night, he had once run through this alley in agony. Carrying a boy who was limp, as if he were about to stop breathing. How desperate it had been, racing through the silent night roads, burdened by an anxiety that was almost a certainty—that his only blood relative might be gone. His heart beat unstable and wildly, as if recreating that moment.

It felt as if his shrunken brain was wriggling and pulsating, rapidly branching out. Scenes filled his mind in an instant, and the intensity of them made him feel a surge of nausea. It wouldn’t have been strange if his head exploded right then.

The past of working like a dog under Jo In-hyeok, the prison life he endured in his place, his brother lying unconscious in a lightless basement room when he returned home after release, and the twenty-five-year-old Kwon Su-hyeok who had desperately run through the alley carrying him—all of it surfaced like mushrooms after rain. The intracranial pressure spiked instantly. It was agonizing.

“Aaaaaagh!”

Kwon Su-hyeok roared, clutching his splitting head. The more he denied it, the clearer the memories of the past became. The desperate sense of betrayal, humiliation, defeat, and sadness he felt at the time were also revived intact. The old pain he had spent a long time trying to suppress and flatten was vividly engraved once more.

“Huff… huff…”

No matter how much air he drew in, he was short of breath. His vision repeatedly turned yellow and then pale blue. Eventually, Kwon Su-hyeok grabbed a wall and retched. Since he had eaten almost nothing, only gastric juice came out. His limbs trembled violently. Unable to hold on any longer, he slid down the wall and collapsed.

He was at a loss as to where to go now or what to do.

“What on earth…”

He raised his hand to cover his eyes. He thought it would have been better to just die than to recover such memories; it would have been better if he had never woken up in Russia. He wanted to vanish completely, as if he had been a person who never existed.

* * *

“It’s here.”

Baek Do-un gestured toward a house through the window. As soon as he stopped the car, Ju-wan flung the door open and got out. He then strode toward the house he had pointed to. He looked around habitually, but no one who looked like Kwon Su-hyeok was anywhere to be seen.

Upon reaching the old gate, he pressed the doorbell. The bell rang for a long time. However, there was no response from inside. He pressed the doorbell again, and when that wasn’t enough, he pounded on the gate.

“Excuse me! Is anyone inside?”

“I have a question!”

Baek Do-un, who had caught up, also raised his voice. Soon, the sound of a door opening was heard from inside the gate. This was followed by an irritable grumble, asking who it was this time.

Eventually, the lock was released and the gate opened. The homeowner peered out through the slightly open gap. With a deep scowl, he scanned the unwelcome guests sharply.

“I’m sorry for the commotion. There’s something I absolutely need to ask.”

“What on earth is it?”

“Did a man in his early to mid-thirties happen to stop by here? He’s about 190 cm tall and would have been looking for someone named ‘Jo In-hyeok’.”

At Baek Do-un’s explanation, the homeowner’s expression became subtle. The man he had seen during the day was suspicious enough, and now that someone was chasing him, a defensive instinct kicked in. Noticing his agitation, Ju-wan pressed him.

“Did he come?”

“…Well, he did.”

“When? When was that?”

“A little while ago?”

“A little while ago… about 30 minutes ago?”

“No, I think it’s been longer than that.”

The homeowner’s answers were vague throughout. It was clear he didn’t want to be involved in anything.

But this was the first person to see Kwon Su-hyeok after his return to Korea. Ju-wan wanted to hear more details. He tried pleading once more, saying, “I’m sorry.”

“I really have to find that person. Please tell me anything you remember.”

“I only saw him for a moment, so what is there to remember? I’m telling you, he looked strange just by looking at him. He was decently handsome, but he was covered in wounds all over, I don’t know where from… I’ve lived here for nearly ten years, and he’s looking for someone who isn’t here, and he’s curious about a basement room that was removed long ago. As I closed the door and turned away, he suddenly started screaming and making a scene. Ugh, my heart is still pounding. I was really going to call the police if he kept acting out like that.”

“He screamed?”

“I’m telling you he did! He was absolutely wailing.”

The homeowner clicked his tongue fiercely.

Was it because his wounds hurt too much? Or did a bad memory suddenly surface? Perhaps he had come here tracing his last memories and recovered a part of the lost ones. If he had remembered the enemy of his family and the death of his brother, it was understandable that Kwon Su-hyeok had such an agitated reaction. Ju-wan’s heart grew heavy.

Ju-wan bowed to the annoyed homeowner.

“Thank you for letting us know. Sorry for the intrusion.”

The homeowner barely acknowledged the greeting and slammed the gate shut. Ju-wan watched his back as he strode up the stairs and let out a deep sigh.

“Where on earth did that guy Su-hyeok go? A hospital? Or our old house?”

“Seeing as Su-hyeok came here as soon as he entered the country, perhaps he’s completely unaware of the fact that his brother died? Maybe he was trying to meet his enemy.”

“He probably found out everything after coming here. The fact that his brother is already dead, and that he took revenge on the enemy with his own hands…”

And that there was no way left to release the anger, despair, and sorrow that would feel as vivid to Kwon Su-hyeok as if it had happened today.

Kwon Su-hyeok’s memories seemed to be slowly returning to the present from the furthest reaches of the past. If he followed the fragments of newly surfaced memories, it wasn’t difficult to predict his next destination. There was only one place he would visit to soothe his heart after losing his younger brother. No matter where he went or how he got there, he would eventually end up at that place.

“Let’s go to the Han River, Doctor.”

Ju-wan’s voice was filled with conviction.

Kwon Su-hyeok stood in the wind for a long time. In the bitter cold, thin ice had formed on the river, and the wind blowing over it was as sharp as a blade. Yet, he didn’t make even the minimal effort to protect himself, such as tightening his coat or huddling his body. He was completely neglecting himself, as if it didn’t matter what happened to him.

As soon as he recalled his brother’s death, the missing puzzle pieces of his memory began to fit together rapidly. It was relentless, as if a seal had been broken. The many events, thoughts, and emotions he had experienced surged all at once, to the point of overload.

Ironically, the more he recalled the past, the more his heart froze over. There wasn’t a single happy memory. It had been a wretchedly worthless life.

However, he still couldn’t remember how he had ended up in Russia or why there had been no one around him at the time. He could only vaguely guess that he had gone there for some kind of deal.

He also couldn’t identify the nature of the emptiness and strange uneasiness budding in a corner of his heart. A void, as if he had lost something important, would not disappear.

The wind blew again. His hair and clothes fluttered wildly in the rough gusts. He felt as if his frozen body would tear and shatter. He thought that wouldn’t be so bad.

As the surroundings began to grow dark, the few people taking walks left one by one. As the streetlights flickered on, only Kwon Su-hyeok’s shadow remained solitary in the empty park. It felt as if he was the only one with nowhere to return to and no one waiting for him.

Maybe no one would notice if he disappeared just like this. Maybe he could just go to be with his family now. Without consciousness, he began to walk steadily toward the pitch-black river.

It was then.

He heard the sound of someone running urgently behind him. There was also a faintly familiar scent. Wondering what it was, he slowly turned his head. In his blurred vision, he saw a man running toward him. For some reason, the man looked as if he were about to cry.

Reflexively, he caught the man who tried to throw himself into his arms. The man looked up at Kwon Su-hyeok with desperate eyes and gripped his hand tightly. It was surprisingly soft and warm.

Startled, he pulled his hand away from the man. In that instant, the man reached out with both arms and suddenly pulled Kwon Su-hyeok into a tight embrace. He gripped the fabric of his clothes tightly, trembling as if afraid he might lose him.

“Why are you doing this alone again? I’ve been looking for you for so long. I was worried.”

The man pouring out affectionate scolding, resentment, and worry was none other than Ju-wan. He burrowed deeper into the embrace of the stone-still Kwon Su-hyeok. He rubbed his head repeatedly against the frozen body, feeling a deep sense of relief.

However, the joy of reunion did not last long. It was because Kwon Su-hyeok grabbed Ju-wan’s shoulders and roughly pushed him away.

Ju-wan looked up at Kwon Su-hyeok with a vacant gaze. The look in Kwon Su-hyeok’s eyes as he faced him was utterly cold.

“Who… are you…?”

He even frowned, looking displeased.

By the time Ju-wan’s group arrived home, Jaguar walked down the hallway. Reaching the entrance, the creature sat down with its hindquarters touching the floor while keeping its front legs upright, as usual. Then, it pushed its head toward Kwon Su-hyeok, whom it hadn’t seen in a few days. Its eyes were expectant, hoping he would stroke its face or neck.

However, as soon as Kwon Su-hyeok encountered Jaguar, he frowned. His expression was one of incomprehension as to why such a wild beast was in his house.

Sensing the unusual atmosphere, Jaguar’s eyes flashed, and it suddenly stood up. It then took a step toward the motionless Kwon Su-hyeok. Kwon Su-hyeok reflexively stepped back. He even clenched his fists as if ready to attack at any moment. When he suddenly displayed aggression, Jaguar tilted its head.

Ju-wan quickly stepped forward and hugged the creature tightly instead.

“I’m home, Su-nam.”

Kwon Su-hyeok looked skeptically at Ju-wan, who fearlessly hugged Jaguar—who was larger than himself—and even gave a friendly greeting. The bulky Jaguar, perhaps thinking it was a house cat, flicked its long tail thinly and made a contented purring sound. It was a series of surreal situations.

“Aren’t you coming in?”

Baek Do-un let out a grumble at the congestion at the entrance. Only then did Ju-wan say, “Please come in,” and step aside with Jaguar.

Even so, Kwon Su-hyeok remained rooted to the spot, motionless. His gaze was still fixed straight on Jaguar. Unable to wait any longer, Baek Do-un tapped him on the back.

“There’s nothing to be wary of. Su-nam over there is your brother.”

Kwon Su-hyeok immediately turned to Baek Do-un. His brow was deeply furrowed, looking as if he had just heard something completely absurd. Baek Do-un shrugged as if it were an absolute fact.

“You might not believe it, but it’s true. You’re the one who said you’d raise that guy yourself, Kwon Su-hyeok.”

“…….”

“I’m serious! I tried to stop you!”

Baek Do-un made his point clear and entered the house first. Kwon Su-hyeok’s expression became confused. He still hadn’t even taken off his shoes.

“Come in, Su-hyeok. Hurry.”

Ju-wan quickly reached out to pull Kwon Su-hyeok’s hand. In an instant, he flinched and sharply slapped Ju-wan’s hand away. A low groan escaped Ju-wan with a slapping sound. The back of his hand stung.

“Don’t touch me.”

Kwon Su-hyeok growled lowly, showing his wariness. He then strode past Ju-wan and went inside. Although he had expected this to some extent, he stood frozen in surprise. Jaguar, looking bewildered, nudged Ju-wan here and there. Ju-wan repeatedly stroked Jaguar’s head and told him it was okay.

Kwon Su-hyeok did not yet remember Ju-wan. To him, Ju-wan was a complete stranger. Therefore, he told himself he had to understand why he was so wary and cold. Trying to steady his heart, he headed toward the living room. In the meantime, Kwon Su-hyeok had disappeared.

“Uh, where is Su-hyeok…?”

“Inside.”

Baek Do-un, who was sprawled on the sofa, gestured toward the bedroom. Then he called out to Ju-wan, who was about to follow Kwon Su-hyeok.

“Ju-wan. You don’t have to take care of every little thing. He’s confused and likely uncomfortable, so just leave him alone for a while.”

“…Just for a moment, Doctor.”

Despite Baek Do-un’s request, Ju-wan entered the bedroom. Jaguar followed him as usual.

He was about to just open the door but hesitated. Conscious of Kwon Su-hyeok’s state, he knocked first. A response came from inside: “Don’t come in.”

“I’ll just come in for a second.”

Being stubborn, he opened the door. Kwon Su-hyeok, who had been rummaging through the wardrobe, looked back at the door with surprised eyes. Ju-wan faced him in silence and slowly approached him. Then, he skillfully picked out the underwear and change of clothes he likely needed and handed them to him.

“You must be very tired today, so please wash up and get some rest.”

“Are you deaf? Who told you to come in as you please?”

Despite Kwon Su-hyeok’s sharp words, Ju-wan simply looked at him calmly. There was no sign of disappointment or hurt. He didn’t shrink back in intimidation. He simply examined every part of his face and body thoroughly to check if he was injured anywhere. Then, he suddenly reached out his hand toward him.

“What do you think you’re doing!”

As expected, Kwon Su-hyeok recoiled in disgust and avoided Ju-wan’s touch. Ju-wan’s hand, having lost its destination in mid-air, clenched into a fist. Ju-wan covered his slightly trembling hand with the other.

“I’m Park Ju-wan. That’s my name.”

“I didn’t ask.”

“Still, I thought you might become curious soon.”

“…Ha.”

“You have many wounds here and there. Since the Doctor is here, it would be best to wash up and apply some medicine. Tomorrow, you should visit the hospital again… you must be hungry, so I’ll prepare something for you to eat.”

Kwon Su-hyeok stared intently at the back of Ju-wan’s head as he left the bedroom after giving his name without being asked. Jaguar, who had been following him like a shadow, glanced back at Kwon Su-hyeok. Even in the beast’s eyes, he seemed strange, quite different from usual. After observing Kwon Su-hyeok while slowly wagging its tail, the creature suddenly turned its head and walked out haughtily.

“To let a four-legged beast into the bedroom…”

He clicked his tongue, finding his past choice absurd. Then he looked down silently at the clothes Ju-wan had left. Ju-wan treated Jaguar—who was supposedly Kwon Su-hyeok’s own pet—like a cat, entered and exited his bedroom freely, and knew exactly where all his things were. Furthermore, while searching the wardrobe earlier, he had found several clothes that differed in taste and size from his own. Every single one of them seemed like they would suit Ju-wan. This meant that he was not a mere subordinate, but Kwon Su-hyeok’s housemate.

What on earth had happened to him during that time? He carelessly threw the clothes he had been gripping onto the bed. His mind was a mess.

He sighed while looking up at the ceiling and then went outside. He truly desperately needed a shower. Having wandered all day, his whole body felt sticky, and the unpleasantness wouldn’t subside.

At the sound of the door opening, Baek Do-un, Ju-wan, and Jaguar all focused their attention on Kwon Su-hyeok at once. Persistent gazes followed him with every step. Ignoring them, he entered the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

Upon entering the bathroom, his reflection appeared in the mirror opposite him. He stared silently at himself in the mirror. As ten years had passed, his impression was certainly different from before. The youthful feeling was completely gone, his features had become much bolder, and a venom that wasn’t there before dwelled in his sharply honed eyes.

However, his appearance wasn’t as devastated as he thought. Even though he had been injured in an explosion in Russia, the reflection in the mirror certainly didn’t look like someone living only because they couldn’t die. Could it be that life had been tolerable? Even though he believed his parents’ enemy to be his benefactor, gave him everything, and eventually lost his brother. According to Baek Do-un’s explanation, he had already finished his revenge, so why and for what reason had he not ended his wretched life? What lingering attachment did he have?

His mind was completely tangled, and it felt as if a large hole had been punched through his chest. He felt lost as to where and how to gather his memories, and how to fill that emptiness.

He tore off the clothes that felt like they were clinging to his body and stepped under the shower. A powerful stream of water relentlessly lashed his entire body. Because of the ice-cold water, white steam filled the entire bathroom. It felt as if his mind and body were freezing over instantly. A distant breath leaked through his pale blue lips.

He had lost so many puzzle pieces that made up his memories, and he didn’t know where to find them all. He wasn’t even sure if he should find them. For some reason, he felt impatient, frustrated, and irritated. A vague anxiety swept over him that if he didn’t recover them quickly, he would lose himself forever. He couldn’t understand why he was so anxious.

“…Ugh.”

He clutched his throbbing head again. The headache didn’t disappear; it grew more intense, increasing the intracranial pressure. He wondered if the pain of having one’s brain gnawed by a crow felt like this. He irritably struck the bathroom wall.

Wasn’t it enough for today to have just recalled the worst moments of his life? His exhausted brain wanted to let go of everything, but his instincts seemed to writhe fiercely, constantly trying to remind him of something. It was agonizing.

He barely managed to turn off the shower. Then, he slowly wiped his wet face with both hands. He was too tired. He just wanted to collapse.

Without even drying his body with a towel, Kwon Su-hyeok flung open the bathroom door. Then, he walked out without even covering his private parts.

“Oh, why did you take a cold shower? What if you catch a cold…?”

He stopped abruptly upon seeing Ju-wan approaching. Ju-wan was not surprised to see Kwon Su-hyeok naked. He simply held a large towel in both hands and naturally began to dry his body. After roughly removing the moisture, he draped a robe he had over his arm onto Kwon Su-hyeok’s shoulders. Even though Kwon Su-hyeok was uncooperative, Ju-wan diligently circled around him and neatly slid his arms into the sleeves.

Watching the bustling Ju-wan, Kwon Su-hyeok suddenly grabbed his chin. Even with a grip that felt as if it would crush the jawbone, Ju-wan didn’t let out a groan. The most he did was hunch his shoulders.

Kwon Su-hyeok turned Ju-wan’s face this way and that in his grip. Even after scrutinizing him like that, he couldn’t recall who he was. Nor why every gesture and every word of his was so irritating.

No matter how he looked at him, Ju-wan didn’t fit into the world Kwon Su-hyeok belonged to. With a lean body and unremarkable muscles, he seemed far removed from physical power. How had someone like him ended up in his house? He couldn’t find any connection between them.

“Please eat, I’ve set the table.”

Ju-wan gently wrapped both hands around Kwon Su-hyeok’s hand that held his chin and pulled it away. Kwon Su-hyeok looked once at the man who gazed at him with an almost bold steadiness, then once at his own hand that had been held, before shaking off his touch again.

“I’m not in the mood to eat.”

To avoid being caught again, he left Ju-wan behind and entered the bedroom. He slammed the door shut. Ju-wan stopped in an awkward position. His gaze did not leave the firmly closed door for a single moment.

“Don’t be like that, Ju-wan. Come here and eat. You’ve been starving this whole time. The guardian needs to have energy to take care of the patient. Ah, hurry up.”

Baek Do-un, who had already sat at the dining table, beckoned Ju-wan. Ju-wan reluctantly shifted his gaze and tried to go to the kitchen.

But the moment he turned around, Kwon Su-hyeok’s thunderous shout echoed from the bedroom. Ju-wan flinched and stopped right where he was.

“Where do you think you’re going, you filthy beast!”

Immediately after, along with a crashing noise, the sound of Jaguar frantically scratching the door was heard. Ju-wan rushed to the bedroom and opened the closed door. Jaguar then bolted out, looking pale. It looked as if he had been kicked out.

The oblivious creature had likely been lying on the bed as usual and gotten scolded by Kwon Su-hyeok. Seeing Jaguar, who had been lounging comfortably only to be hit by a bolt from the blue and flee, was heartbreaking.

Ju-wan reached out both arms toward Jaguar, who looked bewildered, not knowing what had happened or why he had been kicked out. Then, he called the creature in a voice even softer than usual.

“Come here, Su-nam.”

The disheartened Jaguar ran to Ju-wan and jumped into his arms. Ju-wan patted and comforted the creature, who seemed very frightened. He wished he could tell the beast what was wrong with Kwon Su-hyeok, and it was frustrating that he couldn’t. He only hoped the creature wouldn’t be too hurt by the suddenly cold Kwon Su-hyeok.

Kwon Su-hyeok soon appeared from the bedroom. His broad shoulders were heaving as he breathed heavily; he seemed quite startled to have seen Jaguar occupying his bed. He commanded Baek Do-un, who had come out asking what was happening.

“Get that thing out of my sight immediately.”

His tone left no room for reconsideration. Soon, the gazes of Kwon Su-hyeok and Ju-wan, who was looking up at him, met. The area under Kwon Su-hyeok’s eyes twitched.

“You get lost too. You’re an eyesore.”

Ju-wan, who had been calm throughout, turned his head gloomily. Then, he looked down quietly at Jaguar in his arms and gently stroked the creature’s back. Baek Do-un could no longer hold back and gave a stern warning.

“Hey, are you really going to speak like that? Don’t do things you won’t be able to fix later.”

“Stop chattering and get out, you too. You’re just disturbing my rest.”

“Ha, look at this ungrateful bastard.”

“Please stop, Doctor.”

Ju-wan quickly stepped in to stop the two people who were raising their voices. Then he shook his head at the fuming Baek Do-un.

“I’ll… cover the food. Please make sure to eat after we leave.”

Ju-wan looked at Kwon Su-hyeok with yearning eyes. But he only looked down at him with utter coldness. Then, without any response, he went back into the bedroom. The door slammed shut once again.

“Ju-wan, I told you there’s no need to try so hard. Do you think that bastard will appreciate it?”

Baek Do-un beat his chest.

“Still.”

Ju-wan silently went to the kitchen and carefully covered the prepared food with plastic wrap. Watching him, Baek Do-un ruffled his own hair in frustration. Ju-wan must have been shocked. Every cold glance, word, and action from Kwon Su-hyeok would have been a wound. He was surely anxious and lost, unable to find any trace of affection for him anymore.

Despite that, seeing Ju-wan struggle to act as if nothing were wrong left a bitter taste in Do-un’s mouth. A sigh escaped him as he looked at Ju-wan’s back, which seemed somehow smaller than before.

Su-hyeok blinked his eyes open. His body had been so exhausted that he thought he would fall into a deep sleep the moment he lay down. However, he kept drifting into a light slumber only to wake up repeatedly. He slowly rubbed his dry face. A sigh burst out instinctively.

Instead of forcing himself back to sleep, he bolted upright. The silence outside the door suggested that Baek Do-un had already taken Ju-wan and Jaguar back. He threw on a robe and stepped outside.

The living room was brightly lit. He couldn’t tell if they had left the lights on intentionally or simply forgotten to turn them off. He slowly looked around the empty room. The sense of déjà vu was strong. It felt incredibly familiar and comfortable, as if he had started every morning and ended every day in this very spot. Even his faint wariness completely softened.

He walked over to the sofa and sat down. The texture of the leather clinging to his body felt perfectly natural. Fragments of the days he had spent there flickered through his mind. Since it had been a repetitive daily routine, there were no special emotions attached. And in none of those tedious scenes did he find Jaguar or Ju-wan.

He could have simply waited for his memories to return naturally, but for some reason, he felt an unsettling lingering doubt. Ju-wan and Jaguar were beings he had kept closer than even Baek Do-un, to whom he owed his life—close enough that they entered and exited his bedroom without hesitation. He had to know how it had come to this.

Kwon Su-hyeok immediately stood up and began exploring every corner of his home. First, he checked the small room in the back. It was a place that had been used as a storage room because it was spare. However, all the miscellaneous junk was gone, and a single desk now stood there.

He turned on the light and approached the desk. He scanned the books lined up on the shelf. They say you can tell a person’s character by their books; these were entirely study guides related to the high school equivalency exam. He pulled one out. The name ‘Park Ju-wan’ written neatly in the corner caught his eye. Ju-wan clearly looked to be in his twenties, so he didn’t understand why he was preparing for a high school equivalency exam in his house. He became curious about the story behind it.

Leaving the small room, he headed to the bedroom. He opened all the closets and drawers, checking the clothes inside. Once again, he spotted several pieces of clothing that were far from his own taste and of a different size.

“…….”

He picked up a pair of briefs. They were so small that if he tried to squeeze himself into them, they would likely rip at the thighs. The color and pattern were disastrous. If even these belonged to Ju-wan, did he share a bedroom with him? If not, there were plenty of spare rooms, so there would have been no need to share the bedroom closet. Furthermore, he had yet to find another bed.

But it was difficult to accept easily. After all, no matter how he looked at him, Ju-wan was a man.

Wondering if it were possible, he searched the bedside table. A large quantity of condoms and lubricants spilled out from inside. It was evidence that there was a partner he had sex with regularly.

As if trying to deny the truth laid bare before him, Kwon Su-hyeok shook his head and turned away. He immediately stormed out and entered the kitchen. He saw the food Ju-wan had prepared and left on the table. It seemed Ju-wan knew his tastes well.

Passing by the table, he opened every cupboard and drawer one by one. In the drawer directly beneath the counter, where utensils would be used most frequently, every piece of cutlery was paired in twos. It looked exactly like the household goods of a newlywed couple.

“What on earth is this….”

Even as he repeatedly confirmed the traces of cohabitation, he kept shaking his head in denial. He, Kwon Su-hyeok, had lived with a man? Not just sharing a space, but sharing a bed? It made no sense. Unless he were insane, how could he possibly… a man.

He stood there blankly, as if he had been struck hard on the back of the head. He had never once felt lust for a man. Even during his time in prison, in an extreme situation where those desires were suppressed, he never cast his eyes toward another man.

Then why, how on earth?

Questions followed one after another.

‘I’m sorry for startling you. It looked like you were having another nightmare, so I thought it would be better to wake you….’

Suddenly, a flash sparked before his eyes, and a heavy pain exploded in his mind. He staggered, clutching his head. It felt as if something sharp was repeatedly and thoroughly scraping through his already hypersensitive brain. He barely managed to hold onto the table to stay upright. Uselessly, once triggered, the headache would not easily subside.

“Urgh….”

Letting out a pained groan, he swept his hand across the table. In his irritated gesture, the dishes were violently knocked away. Some rolled against the wall and flipped over, while others fell to the floor and shattered into pieces.

Eventually, Kwon Su-hyeok collapsed, his knees hitting the floor. He tried to endure it by clenching his teeth, but the pain, which felt as if his brain were being torn to shreds, did not fade. An unprecedentedly long night descended upon him as he writhed in agony.

* * *

Ju-wan stared up at the dark ceiling for a long time. He did this even though there was nothing particularly dark about his surroundings. He was tired because his tension had released, but sleep would not come. He had a lot on his mind.

“What is it?”

Suddenly, Baek Do-un’s voice broke through. Ju-wan had intentionally stayed still so as not to disturb Do-un’s deep sleep, but it seemed it had been in vain.

“Seonsaengnim, weren’t you sleeping?”

“How can I sleep when Ju-wan isn’t? Why, can’t you sleep?”

“…I’m worried. Su-hyeok will be alright, right?”

“Well, he’s passed the most concerning crisis. And since Su-hyeok’s employees are taking turns guarding the front of the house today, there shouldn’t be any big problems. That guy Su-hyeok will be confused for a while, but he’ll gradually get better.”

Ju-wan nodded silently. It wasn’t that he felt particularly relieved. It was simply a gesture to make Baek Do-un worry less.

“By the way,” Baek Do-un said, turning toward Ju-wan.

“Aren’t you upset?”

Propping his head up on his arm, Do-un looked down at Ju-wan. Although his eyes had adjusted to the dark, he couldn’t read the fine details of Ju-wan’s expression. He could only tell that Ju-wan was staring blankly at the ceiling. Even in the darkness, those round pupils sparkled.

“My heart aches every time Su-hyeok treats me coldly, but I don’t think this is the time for me to complain. Su-hyeok is the one who will be suffering the most… The fact that his brother died, and the memory of trusting and following the enemy of his family, have all come back as vividly as if they happened today. How much must it hurt?”

Ju-wan gripped the blanket over his chest tightly.

“More than anything, it breaks my heart that I have to leave someone who will be that pained and lonely all by himself.”

Instead of resenting the lover who had changed overnight, he worried for him. He was more upset by the other’s pain than his own. The sight was quite poignant.

“Still, that guy Su-hyeok is too mean. No matter how unfamiliar it is, you explained it clearly enough for him to understand. He should at least be careful and tactful. I wonder how much he’ll regret it later, acting so obnoxious.”

“Actually, I was prepared. But even so, he feels like a different person from the Su-hyeok I knew. Should I say he feels more sensitive and edgy than when we first met?”

“That feeling is probably right. When I first picked that guy Su-hyeok up from a pile of trash, he was exactly like this. You know those animals that become incredibly wary because they’ve been wounded? He was just like that. He looked like he’d bite you to death if you even touched him slightly. He only softened a bit after letting Su-nam in and taking care of him. Now he’s right back where he started.”

“Su-nam must have been very surprised too.”

Ju-wan turned slightly to the side and gently stroked the sleeping Jaguar. Baek Do-un also patted the creature, agreeing.

“Our Su-nam, what will he do being so upset. Since they can’t communicate, he probably doesn’t even know why his Hyung is suddenly treating him so badly.”

“I’ll have to do my best so that the rift between the two of them doesn’t get too deep.”

Ju-wan unintentionally referred to Jaguar as a ‘person’ as he firmly strengthened his resolve. Baek Do-un chuckled and encouraged him.

“Right. And Ju-wan, don’t let every single word from that guy Su-hyeok get to you. It’s only because his memories aren’t intact right now. That’s not to say you should forgive all the mean things he’s done, though. Don’t be too indulgent just because he’s a patient.”

“I intend to.”

Ju-wan nodded again. He pressed his lips firmly together and his eyes gleamed with determination. It was unclear whether he meant he wouldn’t be swayed by emotion and get hurt, or simply that he wouldn’t be too indulgent with Kwon Su-hyeok, but he looked spirited, so it seemed fine. Regardless, for now, the fact that Kwon Su-hyeok had returned safely was enough.

“Mi-nam should arrive tomorrow morning, so I’ll have to take Su-hyeok to the hospital. We need to know exactly what his condition is to find a way to improve it. I got a recommendation for a good psychiatrist from my Seonbae, so let’s not worry too much.”

“Yes, Seonsaengnim.”

“Then let’s sleep now. You must have been tired all day.”

“You sleep too, Seonsaengnim.”

“Yeah.”

Baek Do-un lay flat and wiggled deep into the blanket. Before long, the sound of his rhythmic breathing could be heard, and the blanket began to wave slowly.

Only then did Ju-wan close his eyes tightly and rub his head against Jaguar’s warm body. The moment he let all the strength leave his body, consciousness grew hazy. Having spent several days anxious, unable to eat or sleep due to Kwon Su-hyeok’s disappearance, a giant wave of sleep threatened to swallow Ju-wan whole.

“Su-hyeok….”

Mumbling as if talking in his sleep, he drifted into unconsciousness.

He only hoped that tomorrow would be a better day for Kwon Su-hyeok, and for everyone.

* * *

It was just after he had finished showering. An unexpected presence was detected outside the quiet front door. It seemed someone was trying to open the door lock and enter. Kwon Su-hyeok did not take his eyes off the entrance while wiping the moisture from his face with a towel. He unconsciously tightened his grip on the towel.

Soon, the door swung open. The person who entered was none other than Jeon Mi-nam. He had rushed to Kwon Su-hyeok’s house as soon as he landed in the morning.

The two stared at each other blankly with surprised expressions. For Kwon Su-hyeok, it was because a Jeon Mi-nam who looked quite different from his memories had appeared before him; for Jeon Mi-nam, it was because he had encountered the Kwon Su-hyeok he had searched so desperately for.

“…….”

“…President.”

Coming to his senses, Jeon Mi-nam first gave a polite bow.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah.”

Kwon Su-hyeok scanned Jeon Mi-nam slowly before turning away, saying, “Come in.” Only then did Jeon Mi-nam take off his shoes and enter the house. He tried not to show it, but he kept limping on his injured leg. Kwon Su-hyeok noticed the sound and turned back.

“Your leg….”

“I’m slightly injured.”

“And why do you look like a mess?”

“I am fine. I apologize for causing you concern.”

Even when worried about his injury, he bowed his head and apologized. What kind of life had he been living? Kwon Su-hyeok shook his head and sat on the sofa.

“Sit.”

“Yes.”

As Jeon Mi-nam moved to the opposite seat, he kept glancing around. Jaguar, who used to rush over at the slightest sound from the entrance, was nowhere to be seen. The same went for Ju-wan. Had they gone for a walk? He vaguely guessed, but it felt strange given the situation.

“What are you looking for?”

“Ah, is Mr. Park Ju-wan not here?”

Kwon Su-hyeok’s brow furrowed immediately. It was because it seemed natural to Jeon Mi-nam that Ju-wan would be staying there.

“Just what is this ‘Park Ju-wan’?”

“Pardon? That is….”

Jeon Mi-nam was lost for words at the unexpected question. Kwon Su-hyeok had a look of genuine ignorance. It seemed he was frustrated and irritated because, no matter how hard he tried to remember, there was absolutely no information regarding Ju-wan in his mind.

Jeon Mi-nam was flustered, not knowing how to explain. To suddenly describe Ju-wan as his lover seemed like it would cause too much shock and confusion for Kwon Su-hyeok. Yet, he couldn’t lie.

While he was struggling to find a suitable answer, the door lock of the front door opened. The gazes of Kwon Su-hyeok and Jeon Mi-nam simultaneously shifted toward the hallway leading to the living room. Before long, Baek Do-un walked in. He had come to take Kwon Su-hyeok to the psychiatrist. Ju-wan and Jaguar were not with him.

“You’ve arrived.”

“Yes. It’s been a while. Mi-nam, you were very worried too, right?”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“Is your body alright?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, my foot.”

Kwon Su-hyeok muttered a rebuke and stood up. He then entered the bedroom to get dressed.

Baek Do-un’s eyes widened as he approached Jeon Mi-nam.

“Why, where are you hurt?”

“No. It’s nothing major.”

“I’ll be the judge of that. Let me see. Where is it uncomfortable?”

He felt around Jeon Mi-nam’s body, despite his repeated insistence that he was fine. When Baek Do-un’s hand touched his left leg, Jeon Mi-nam flinched violently and swallowed a groan. Baek Do-un pushed him firmly onto the sofa and abruptly rolled up his pants. A crude brace was fastened there. A vivid blue bruise spread up to the top of the brace.

“No, you came here in this state? Didn’t they suggest a cast there? What about crutches? Are you insane? And why is this part stitched up like this!”

“…….”

Jeon Mi-nam kept his mouth shut under the barrage of nagging. Even if he had no capacity to take care of himself, he knew he wouldn’t hear anything good.

“This won’t do. Mi-nam, go to the hospital with the employees outside and get treatment first.”

“After I escort the President, then….”

“No, who is worrying about whom right now?”

“Do as he says.”

Kwon Su-hyeok, who had changed his clothes and come out, joined Baek Do-un. At that point, Jeon Mi-nam could no longer be stubborn.

“If you’re ready, let’s go. It was a difficult reservation, so we can’t be late. Mi-nam, get up quickly.”

Baek Do-un grabbed Jeon Mi-nam’s arm to pull him up. Then, as if to support him, he wrapped that arm around his own shoulder. Jeon Mi-nam persistently tried to pull away.

“I can walk on my own.”

“If you’re a patient, act like one. Do you want to never use your leg again?”

Baek Do-un didn’t hesitate to use threats as he forced Jeon Mi-nam along. However, due to the basic difference in their build and the fact that one leg couldn’t be stepped on properly, it looked as if Jeon Mi-nam might collapse at any moment. Unable to watch any longer, Kwon Su-hyeok sighed.

“Move.”

Kwon Su-hyeok nudged Baek Do-un aside and supported Jeon Mi-nam himself. Only then was the balance right, and they could move stably. Jeon Mi-nam felt deeply apologetic.

“I am sorry.”

After handing Jeon Mi-nam over to the other subordinates waiting outside, he got into Baek Do-un’s car. He consciously looked at the back seat, which was empty.

“Ju-wan seemed to have let his guard down and was sleeping, so I just left him. He couldn’t eat or rest because he was so worried about someone. And after I finally found him and brought him back, he just gets told to get lost.”

Baek Do-un chattered away as he headed for the driver’s seat.

“I didn’t ask.”

Kwon Su-hyeok responded coldly and sat in the back seat instead of the passenger seat.

“He really thinks he’s the master of the house, doesn’t he?”

Baek Do-un grumbled as he sat in the driver’s seat. He continued to mutter even as he started the engine and turned the wheel. Because of this, the car reversed roughly and made a wide turn. Perhaps feeling uneasy at the sight, Jeon Mi-nam didn’t get in the car immediately but watched from behind for a long time. Baek Do-un reached his hand out the open window and waved it flippantly as if to say not to worry, then stepped on the accelerator. The car lunged forward.

Kwon Su-hyeok’s brow furrowed at the uncomfortable ride. The arms he had crossed eventually relaxed and rested on the seat.

On the main road, the car crossed four lanes at once to enter the innermost lane. The cars following behind honked their horns in protest. Someone even pulled up in the next lane, rolled down their window, and pointed a finger. Regardless, Baek Do-un just went his way. When the signal he was waiting for changed, he jerked the wheel and made a sharp left turn. As a result, Kwon Su-hyeok’s body lurched to the right.

“If you have a complaint, say it in words.”

“What are you talking about?”

At Kwon Su-hyeok’s unable-to-endure protest, Baek Do-un played dumb. He had an expression as if he truly didn’t know what the problem was. A deep sigh escaped.

After some time, Baek Do-un’s phone rang. He answered the incoming call without hesitation.

“Yeah, Ju-wan. It’s me.”

At the mention of Ju-wan, Kwon Su-hyeok’s face smoothed out. He opened his closed eyes and stared toward Baek Do-un. Noticing his reaction through the rearview mirror, Baek Do-un turned on the Bluetooth function.

Where are you?

“I’m on my way to take Kwon Su-hyeok to the hospital. Ju-wan seemed to have barely fallen asleep after tossing and turning all night, so I just left without waking him. I’ll let you know what they say after the consultation, so don’t worry too much and get some rest.”

…Ah, you should have woken him up anyway. How is Su-hyeok doing?

Baek Do-un glanced at the rearview mirror. His eyes met Kwon Su-hyeok’s immediately. Baek Do-un instantly narrowed his eyes with a look of disapproval.

“Still as rude as ever.”

Does he say he’s in pain? What about food?

“Who knows. I wasn’t curious, so I didn’t ask.”

As he openly sneered, Kwon Su-hyeok wore an expression of sheer absurdity.

Does he say he needs anything? Like, is he looking for Su-nam…?

Ju-wan mumbled the last part. He seemed curious if Kwon Su-hyeok had thought of him or was looking for him, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask. Once again, his gaze collided with Kwon Su-hyeok’s in the rearview mirror. However, Kwon Su-hyeok turned his head toward the window, pretending not to notice. Baek Do-un clicked his tongue in frustration.

Just then, the navigation announced that they had arrived at their destination. The appointment time was also imminent.

“Ju-wan. Sorry, but I have to go in now. I’ll call you later. Make sure you eat something.”

Yes, Doctor. Please contact me.

The call ended, leaving a lingering sense of regret. While searching for a parking spot, Baek Do-un scolded the indifferent Kwon Su-hyeok.

“Even after being snubbed like that, he’s still all worried about you. Honestly, you’re something else. I know everything feels awkward and unfamiliar because your memories are gone, but still, what’s with that attitude? Do you know how much Ju-wan cried last night?”

He added a bit of exaggeration to emphasize that he should be more careful with his behavior. He rationalized it by thinking that crying in one’s heart is still strictly crying. Kwon Su-hyeok gave no reaction. He simply stared silently out the window at nothing in particular. He seemed to be in a complicated state of mind.

“I’m giving you this bitter advice because of the loyalty I’ve had with you all this time. Seriously, don’t do things you’ll regret later.”

He gave the warning just as he finished parking after a long while. It was the moment he hit the brakes. Kwon Su-hyeok abruptly opened the door and got out. Then, he marched straight into the hospital.

Watching this blankly, Baek Do-un clicked his tongue in disbelief.

“That rude bastard…”

Losing one’s memory doesn’t change one’s personality. It was a natural fact, but having grown accustomed to a softened Kwon Su-hyeok, he found himself getting irritated time and again.

Entering the hospital belatedly, he saw a small desk. Since it was a clinic that only treated patients with strict appointments, Kwon Su-hyeok was the only one in the waiting area. Baek Do-un went to the desk and confirmed the appointment.

“Mr. Kwon Su-hyeok, please come in.”

When his name was called, Kwon Su-hyeok stood up. Baek Do-un followed him into the consultation room. In the worn-out office sat a gray-haired doctor. When Baek Do-un bowed in greeting, the doctor responded with a slight nod. He gestured toward the seats opposite him, inviting them to sit. They sat down side by side. The doctor looked back and forth between the two and asked what brought them here.

It was Baek Do-un who answered the question.

“This friend of mine was on an overseas business trip and was caught in a bomb terror attack. Fortunately, there are no major external injuries, but the shock caused problems with his memory. According to the local doctor’s opinion, it seems some memories have been lost.”

“Hmm… specifically, what are the symptoms?”

“His memories from the ten years leading up to the accident have vanished entirely. When he regained consciousness, he didn’t know why he was there, and apparently, he thought he was twenty-five years old.”

“First, we’ll need to conduct a brain scan to examine things in detail, but memory loss can be caused not only by physical impact but also by extreme stress, trauma, disease, or drugs. It’s a field with much ongoing discussion, so it’s hard to speak definitively, but based on what you’ve told me, it seems like symptoms of retrograde amnesia. In such cases, there are clinical results showing that memories can return rapidly. Has he had any such experience since the injury?”

Kwon Su-hyeok spoke up.

“As soon as I returned to the country, I went to my old house, which remained in my memory. Someone else was living there now, and after talking to that person, some past events suddenly came back to me. Though it was only a tiny fraction of the lost memories.”

“That’s a good sign. If he recalled past events at a place that serves as a medium for old memories, there’s plenty of room for that to happen again. Also, since he says he’s recovered some past memories, it’s safe to view the current memory loss as temporary. However, at this point, I cannot guarantee when the memories will return to normal.”

Baek Do-un nodded, listening intently to the doctor. Kwon Su-hyeok merely looked at him with indifference, as the doctor was only stating the obvious.

“Are there any other psychological issues? For example, having nightmares about the accident, being unable to sleep due to fear, or difficulty with daily life?”

“None.”

“Does your heart or pulse suddenly race?”

“Not at all.”

“I see. That’s a relief. For now, it would be best to take a break from your current work. Please get plenty of rest and reduce stress until your brain recovers. The brain becomes more active when the mind and body are at ease, and that’s how lost memories can be recovered. I won’t prescribe any medication.”

“Yes, Doctor.”

Once again, it was Baek Do-un who answered diligently. As soon as the consultation ended, Kwon Su-hyeok gave a slight nod and left the room immediately. A bewildered Baek Do-un asked for the doctor’s understanding and expressed his gratitude.

When he left the consultation room, Kwon Su-hyeok was nowhere to be seen. He seemed to have gone to the parking lot first. Gritting his teeth, Baek Do-un paid the medical fee and went to where the car was parked. Kwon Su-hyeok was indeed there. As Baek Do-un approached with a glare, he abruptly held out his hand.

“Give it.”

“Give what?”

“The car keys.”

Was he planning to drive himself? Without much hesitation, Baek Do-un tossed the keys. Kwon Su-hyeok caught them easily and got into the driver’s seat.

“At least this one thing is good.”

Baek Do-un quickly climbed into the passenger seat. If he hesitated, he feared Kwon Su-hyeok might just leave him behind given his temperament. Even the owner of the car was no exception.

Kwon Su-hyeok drove without saying where he was going. The car moved smoothly, unlike before. Even the cornering was seamless.

Baek Do-un stole a glance at Kwon Su-hyeok’s expression. His eyes, which remained fixed forward, were filled with an unresolved frustration or perhaps a slight irritation. He seemed stifled by the lack of any significant breakthrough.

“Since we’re already out, do you want to get a CT scan?”

“Forget it.”

Baek Do-un waved his hand as if he had expected that answer. He muttered something like, ‘do whatever you want,’ as if complaining.

The car soon reached a fork in the road. The speed decreased significantly. He seemed unable to decide which way to go. It wasn’t surprising, as even his own home must still feel unfamiliar. Without a word, Baek Do-un entered the home address into the navigation. It seemed there was still a long way to go.

“…What?”

He paused just as he was about to open the door and enter. Jaguar, who had returned at some unknown time, was waiting for him in front of the entrance. Jaguar, who had been staring blankly up at Kwon Su-hyeok, flinched and backed away at his ominous reaction. Then, the dog turned around and ran straight into the living room.

Looking down consciously, he saw a familiar pair of sneakers. They belonged to Ju-wan. Even though Baek Do-un and Jeon Mi-nam had been sent away for being bothersome, another burden had attached itself. Letting out a deep sigh, he stepped inside the house.

Soon, he came face-to-face with Ju-wan, who was peeking out from the kitchen. Jaguar, who had fled moments ago, was now clinging closely to his side.

“…….”

“…….”

They stood facing each other for a long time without even exchanging greetings. Ju-wan stared at Kwon Su-hyeok with a boldness that was almost daring. It was a strange look. One moment it seemed like resentment, then worry; it seemed sullen, yet it was full of interest and affection for the other. For some reason, he could neither avoid nor ignore that gaze.

After a long standoff, it was Ju-wan who spoke first.

“I told you to get lost, but I didn’t tell you not to come back.”

He was preemptively defending himself against a possible attack. His expression became quite solemn. It was so pathetic that Kwon Su-hyeok almost burst out laughing. Before he did, he turned his head away from Ju-wan.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You had a face that looked like you were going to.”

“…….”

At the cheeky response, Kwon Su-hyeok looked back at Ju-wan. Should he call it direct? He hit the mark quite calmly. Despite having a face that didn’t show much emotion. Did he really cry? It was hard to imagine.

He strode toward Ju-wan. Then, without hesitation, he reached out and suddenly grabbed his face. Despite the startling situation, Ju-wan was not surprised. He simply looked back at Kwon Su-hyeok, who was staring down at him, while slightly hunching his shoulders. Rather, it was Jaguar who fluttered anxiously between the two.

“You’re lying.”

Staring intently into Ju-wan’s clear eyes, Kwon Su-hyeok muttered an incomprehensible comment to himself and then let go of Ju-wan as if pushing him away. Then, shaking his head, he entered the bedroom.

Ju-wan rubbed his tingling cheek with the back of his hand and stared blankly at the indifferent back of Kwon Su-hyeok. Jaguar nudged Ju-wan with his snout. He seemed to be trying to comfort him. Ju-wan gave the dog a small smile and said, ‘It’s okay.’ He also gently stroked the head of the dog, whose ears seemed to be drooping.

“Su-nam, shall we take a bath? You haven’t washed in a few days. A warm shower will make you feel better.”

Ju-wan led Jaguar into the bathroom. Then the door closed, and the loud sound of water could be heard from inside.

After taking off his coat and coming out to the living room, Kwon Su-hyeok listened to the noise coming from the bathroom. Even if he tried not to, it happened naturally. Although there was no way a response would come, Ju-wan kept talking softly to Jaguar. Due to the nature of the bathroom, the pronunciation was muffled and the sound echoed, making it difficult to figure out what he was saying.

Trying to wash Jaguar, who was as big as himself, was a reckless act. It was certain to become a chaotic scene. However, surprisingly, the bathroom remained quiet. There was no instance of Jaguar running wild or Ju-wan screaming. Only the steady sound of water and glimpses of Ju-wan’s voice could be heard. It was simply amazing how that was possible. In the first place, it was strange that Jaguar followed the smaller Ju-wan so obediently.

After some time, the sound of the shower stopped, and soon the bathroom door opened.

“Ah, wait! Su-nam, you again!”

As expected, the peace did not last long. It was because Jaguar had rushed out without even drying off completely, as usual. The dog ran into the living room in one leap and shook his wet fur. Water droplets splashed everywhere, landing even on the back of Kwon Su-hyeok’s hand. Kwon Su-hyeok stared sequentially at the back of his hand, the messy living room floor, and Jaguar, who was leisurely yawning after causing such a mess. A frown creased his brow once again.

“Su-nam, I told you to wait.”

Ju-wan, who had hurried after Jaguar, looked exactly like a drowned rat. It was impossible to tell if he had washed Jaguar or if he himself had been washed.

“I’ll clean it up quickly.”

Ju-wan moved busily, conscious of Kwon Su-hyeok, who was glaring displeasedly at Jaguar. He finished rubbing Jaguar’s fur with a large towel and thoroughly wiped away the water droplets the dog had scattered. Following the scattered droplets, Ju-wan eventually approached Kwon Su-hyeok.

Damp hair was clinging to his white nape. The wet t-shirt adhered completely to his back.

“…….”

It was just the obvious body of a man. Nothing particularly special other than being lean with slender lines. Yet, he didn’t know why he couldn’t take his eyes off Ju-wan. His gaze slid slowly down the back, scanning the waist, hips, and thighs in turn. At the body lines undulating beneath the wet clothes, his Adam’s apple bobbed for no reason.

He slowly clenched his fist. It was because his fingertips suddenly felt itchy. No, it felt as if they were constantly tingling with an unknown nervousness.

“Oh, it splashed here too.”

Ju-wan, about to lift the towel, instead pulled his clothing to wipe the back of Kwon Su-hyeok’s hand. At that, Kwon Su-hyeok flinched as if he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t have and abruptly brushed his hand away. His heart pounded violently inside his chest. His pulse raced so frantically that it felt dizzy even in his ears.

“…Ah.”

Ju-wan stared blankly at Kwon Su-hyeok. Kwon Su-hyeok also faced him with wide, vacant eyes. Soon, Ju-wan looked down at his own hand that Kwon Su-hyeok had pushed away.

“I’m sorry. For touching you without permission. I won’t do it again.”

He apologized while subtly hiding his hand. His ears had turned red in the meantime. Seeing that, a tightness formed deep inside Kwon Su-hyeok. He couldn’t understand why.

Ju-wan soon went back to his tasks as if nothing had happened. He went to the bedroom to change out of his wet clothes and put the laundry, including the towels, into the basket. Then, he brought out a dryer from the bathroom and patted his thigh toward Jaguar. At that, Jaguar, who had been sprawling on the floor, stood up and trotted toward him.

Ju-wan sat Jaguar down as if wedging him between his legs. Then, he turned on the dryer and began to dry the dog’s fur. Jaguar, seemingly loving the moderately warm wind and Ju-wan’s touch digging into his fur, narrowed his eyes and made purring sounds. Soon, his fur came alive strand by strand, shining brightly in the incoming sunlight.

“All done. Su-hyeok, it’s not lunch time yet, right? I’ll prepare it.”

Ju-wan asked while tidying up the dryer, then stood up without waiting for an answer. He put the dryer back in the bathroom and went straight into the kitchen to set the table. Occasionally, the sound of clinking dishes could be heard, and soon the smell of food wafted through.

“Su-nam, food.”

He stepped out briefly to give a large piece of meat to Jaguar. Jaguar lunged at it in one leap. With powerful jaw strength, he roughly tore and chewed the firm muscle. Looking at how he followed Ju-wan around, he was nothing more than a giant cat, but at times like this, he was quite like a wild beast.

While watching with curiosity, he suddenly locked eyes with Jaguar. In an instant, the dog bared its teeth and growled.

“He hates it when you keep staring. Su-hyeok, come and eat too.”

Ju-wan gave a warning and returned to the kitchen first. Since he hadn’t eaten anything all day, he had no intention of refusing.

Two bowls of fried rice were placed on the dining table. In particular, the rice in Kwon Su-hyeok’s bowl was piled up like a mountain. Strangely, he felt he knew what it would taste like without even eating it. For some reason, that was the feeling.

Ju-wan, looking at the standing Kwon Su-hyeok, told him to sit. His gaze was cautious, as if afraid of being rejected again. With a low sigh, he pulled out a chair and sat down.

“I wanted to prepare something better… but the ingredients weren’t suitable. I saw that everything I made and left yesterday was thrown away. Was it not tasty?”

“…….”

It seemed he had seen the broken dishes and discarded food from the previous night. Although he said it wasn’t intentional, thrown away was thrown away. Even if it hadn’t ended up like that, he wouldn’t have eaten it in the end.

So, he didn’t bother making excuses. He simply ate in silence, looking only at his portion of fried rice. The fried rice matched the taste he had guessed exactly. The seasoning, the texture, and even the scent. Perhaps the body remembers even if the mind does not.

“How is it? Is it okay?”

“…….”

“Do you want more? There’s still plenty left.”

Despite the other party not responding at all, he persistently spoke. As he continued to remain silent, Ju-wan eventually subsided, exhausted by his own efforts. Or so he thought. Sensing a subtle change in the atmosphere, he shifted his eyes to look at Ju-wan.

“If you’re mean to me, you’ll regret it later.”

He gave a bold warning. It almost sounded like a threat. Even though Ju-wan spoke calmly with a composed expression.

Kwon Su-hyeok burst out laughing in disbelief. It was as if a hornless deer was warning a giant predator that it would regret treating it poorly. He became quite curious about what on earth he was relying on to be so reckless.

He had been submerged in water up to the top of his head and slowly rose to the surface. As his water-logged senses dulled, the tedious headache seemed to subside a bit. He slowly wiped his wet face and caught his breath. Now, it felt like he could finally fall asleep without thinking about anything.

Leaving the bathtub, he threw a robe over his wet body. Outside, the faint sound of the TV could still be heard. When he opened the door, the noise became clearer. It seemed Ju-wan was still watching the news.

Toweling the moisture from his hair lightly, he headed toward the living room. As expected, news reports were being broadcast on the TV screen, and Ju-wan was nodding off with a workbook spread out on the table. It was precarious, as if his forehead would hit the table at any moment.

Kwon Su-hyeok sat on the sofa, openly observing Ju-wan. From Ju-wan, whose head was bowed low, came the sound of steady, rhythmic breathing. Unconsciously, Su-hyeok found himself listening to that deep, peaceful noise. His ears relaxed, and his heart softened. He wondered if the sound of breathing was always this sweet.

Around that time, he sensed Jaguar’s presence. When he looked back, the creature, who had been coming out of the bedroom with a blanket in its mouth, stopped dead in its tracks. It stared at Kwon Su-hyeok with wide, bright yellow eyes. It even pricked up its round ears, remaining on guard.

They stared at each other for a long while, as if in a staring contest. Jaguar was the first to end the standoff. The creature approached slowly, constantly glancing at Kwon Su-hyeok. As it passed by him, it lowered its body further, exercising caution. Approaching Ju-wan with such care, it dropped the blanket it had been carrying. Unfortunately, the blanket only partially covered Ju-wan’s lower back.

Perhaps wanting to cover him properly, Jaguar repeatedly picked up the fallen blanket and dropped it again. Watching Jaguar, Su-hyeok felt a strange sense of déjà vu. He felt as though he had seen this creature bring a blanket in this manner several times in the past.

“…What is this?”

At the low mutter, Jaguar flinched and crouched low. Its ears were now completely flattened against its head. Seeing the creature so guarded caused Su-hyeok’s thoughts to tangle violently once more. A faint memory seemed on the verge of surfacing.

A long time ago, there had been a young beast that feared Kwon Su-hyeok just as this one did. In a dark container that reeked of rotting animal carcasses, the creature’s bright yellow eyes had flashed. Even though it was skin and bones from starvation, it had constantly snarled, baring its teeth.

While remaining conscious of Kwon Su-hyeok, Jaguar repeatedly used its snout to pull up the blanket that had slipped. Cruelly, the blanket slid back down to the floor almost immediately. Just as Jaguar was about to try again, it flinched and backed away from Kwon Su-hyeok’s suddenly approaching hand.

Kwon Su-hyeok gazed quietly into the startled creature’s eyes, then spread the blanket wide and draped it over Ju-wan’s shoulders.

“This is what you were trying to do, right?”

At the tone, which was softer than before, Jaguar’s flattened ears flickered. But that was all; it still did not let go of its suspicion.

Kwon Su-hyeok gazed intently into Jaguar’s eyes, which reflected him clearly. As his image formed sharply, the bright yellow eyes shone brilliantly like amber.

He had met the creature entirely by accident. It had been nothing short of a mishap. Back then, the creature was a young beast that had not yet fully mastered its wild nature.

Despite suffering from terrible hunger and fear, even in a situation where death was so imminent that its scrawny legs trembled, the creature had bared its teeth at Kwon Su-hyeok. Whenever he reached out to catch it, it resisted desperately, snarling with everything it had. To Kwon Su-hyeok, that sight felt more like a struggle to survive.

“Come here.”

He slowly reached his hand out to Jaguar. Jaguar only flickered its ears, remaining motionless. Its eyes, however, remained fixed entirely on Kwon Su-hyeok.

He extended his other hand as well and waited silently for the creature. After remaining guarded and suspicious for a while longer, Jaguar took hesitant steps forward. It didn’t run into his arms immediately. As if suspicious of his sudden change in attitude, it continued to circle him, occasionally nudging him. It would lightly press its snout against Kwon Su-hyeok’s knee and then dash away.

Kwon Su-hyeok let out a short laugh and calmly watched the creature’s every move. Only after confirming several times that it was safe did the creature place its head in his two hands. As if praising it, he rubbed its cheeks and stroked it long from its head to the base of its tail. The familiar warmth of the creature and the texture of its fur fit another piece of the puzzle in his mind.

“…You’ve grown this much.”

Memories of the moment he first met the creature and the moments they lived together flashed through his mind like a kaleidoscope. Images of Jaguar growing sturdy and healthy day by day surfaced one after another.

The only family member who would guard the empty house and run to him the moment it sensed Kwon Su-hyeok returning. The only living being that had stayed by his side during a time when he had lost everything and had no will to live. How could he have forgotten? Why on earth had he been so dismissive?

“I’m sorry.”

He apologized, leaning his forehead against Jaguar’s. Jaguar simply left its face entrusted to Kwon Su-hyeok’s hand.

While continuing to pet the admirable creature, he gazed at Ju-wan, who had fallen fast asleep. It still felt as if there were a large hole in his chest. If he placed the piece called Park Ju-wan in there, would the void be perfectly filled? Could the existence of a single person be that significant? He wanted to try fitting the piece.

* * *

“…….”

He slowly lifted his eyelids. He saw a familiar ceiling. However, it didn’t seem to be the bedroom. The surroundings were bright, as if day had already broken.

He lifted his head, which had been tilted back. As his vision dropped sharply to the floor, Jaguar came into view. The creature was sleeping, sprawled at Kwon Su-hyeok’s feet. It seemed he had fallen asleep right there on the sofa last night.

As he rubbed his neck and pulled his upper body forward, the blanket covering him slid away. It was the very blanket Jaguar had brought to Ju-wan last night. The one Kwon Su-hyeok had draped over Ju-wan on the creature’s behalf.

Did Ju-wan cover him back up? While pondering this, he belatedly realized that the other man had disappeared from the table.

He slowly looked around the house. However, he felt no presence in the kitchen or the bedroom. He stood up and checked the rooms one by one. He couldn’t find Ju-wan anywhere.

Maybe he’s washing up. Just as he was striding toward the bathroom, the closed bathroom door opened with a click. It happened so quickly that he had no time to hide.

In the end, he came face-to-face with Ju-wan coming out. After a brief look of surprise, Ju-wan smiled slightly, appearing inwardly glad.

“Are you awake? I thought it might be uncomfortable, but you were sleeping so soundly that I didn’t wake you.”

The exceptionally clear face, the damp light-brown hair, and the white nape of the neck captured his attention. He couldn’t take his eyes off the plump lips that were slightly parting. At the fragrant scent wafting from Ju-wan, his Adam’s apple bobbed involuntarily. His fingertips tingled. It was dangerous.

Without a word, Kwon Su-hyeok passed by Ju-wan. He stepped inside as if he had had business in the bathroom to begin with.

“Are you going to wash?”

Ju-wan continued to ask interested questions from behind, but he remained silent until the end. He even slammed the door shut.

The problem was that Ju-wan’s scent still filled the bathroom. The intense olfactory stimulation vividly reminded him of Ju-wan’s appearance from a moment ago. The slender nape of the neck, which looked as if it could fit in one hand, kept flickering before his eyes. He wondered instinctively what it would be like to bite it deeply enough to leave a mark, then shook his head bitterly. He covered his nose and mouth. It was useless. The scent already imprinted on his nasal membranes would not fade no matter what.

“I’ve gone mad.”

He roughly threw off his robe and stepped under the shower. He immediately turned on the cold water to cool his boiling head. The powerful stream of water, sweeping over his broad shoulders and thick chest, pelted his already erect penis. He deliberately ignored it and leaned against the wall, avoiding touching it. Soon, both his hands were clenched into tight fists. He grit his teeth hard.

Had he gone a long time without sex before losing his memory? Was that why he was having such an extreme reaction to a trivial stimulus? He wasn’t some adolescent boy; it was absurd.

The suddenly triggered heat only subsided once his entire body became ice-cold. His penis, which had received a concentrated barrage of water, had almost no sensation left.

He put on a new robe and stepped outside. Having grown accustomed to Ju-wan’s scent in the meantime, breathing became much easier. As he tried to pass through the living room to the bedroom, Ju-wan glanced back and spoke to him.

“Are you done washing?”

He quickly turned his head away and said he would prepare breakfast after finishing this. Looking at what he was doing while pressed close to the table, he saw that Ju-wan was solving a crossword puzzle in the newspaper. Jaguar was simply watching the movement of his hands, resting its chin on Ju-wan’s shoulder.

Because his head was bowed, the white nape of the neck entered his sight again. He wondered if his skin was naturally that transparently white, or if he simply lived without getting much sunlight.

While he was watching unconsciously, he suddenly felt his mouth water. Saliva pooled fiercely, as if he had a lemon in front of him.

He was definitely crazy. He wasn’t normal. Even during his time in prison, he had never been unable to control his sexual desire to this extent. Moreover, it was toward a man, not a woman. He wondered if the injury to his head had caused an abnormality in the area governing sexual desire. Even as he tried hard to deny it and didn’t stop criticizing himself, he could not tear his gaze away from Ju-wan’s nape.

Whether he felt the blatant stare or it just happened to be itchy at the time, Ju-wan unconsciously scratched his nape. Faint nail marks remained on the fair skin. He wondered what it would taste like if he licked it. A desire to sink his teeth in and bite greedily writhed within him. He let out a breath and was about to force his head away.

Ju-wan suddenly turned around. In doing so, their eyes met without a chance to avoid it.

“…Uh, why? Do you have something to say to me?”

Seeing Ju-wan’s face, which seemed clueless, a wave of unknown shame and self-loathing washed over him. Gritting his teeth, he whipped his head away. He entered the bedroom as if fleeing and closed the door. He saw the wide bed. Had he held and kissed him there? How had he clung to him while crying? He shook his head to shake off the imaginations that were becoming increasingly concrete. What kind of disgraceful behavior was this first thing in the morning? It was truly maddening.

Late in the afternoon, Baek Do-un visited. He said he was on his way home after helping out at a Seonbae’s hospital. As soon as he arrived, he ate dinner and helped Ju-wan with the problems he couldn’t solve.

While the two studied in the small room, Kwon Su-hyeok listened to music with Jaguar in the living room. He was trying to stabilize his mind and body by listening to calm and leisurely melodies. Along with that damn heart that now leaped whenever he saw Ju-wan.

By the time all the tracks on the playlist had played, the door to the small room opened. Conversations about learning progress and exam schedules were of no interest, so they didn’t register at all. However, Baek Do-un’s subsequent question pierced his ears with strange sharpness.

“Ju-wan, what do you want to do today? It would still be more comfortable to go sleep at my place, right?”

He opened his eyes, which had been closed the whole time. Ju-wan didn’t answer immediately and hesitated. He couldn’t tell if he was contemplating what to do or silently agreeing.

As he watched closely, Baek Do-un suddenly looked back, and their eyes met.

“Hey, Kwon Su-hyeok. I’m taking Ju-wan with me, okay?”

“…….”

“Why aren’t you answering? Did you forget how to speak? Honestly. Ju-wan, put your clothes on.”

Baek Do-un clicked his tongue in dissatisfaction and urged Ju-wan. Ju-wan glanced toward Kwon Su-hyeok. Their gazes met for a moment, but Kwon Su-hyeok turned his head away without a word. Ju-wan told Baek Do-un, “Just a moment,” and slowly entered the bedroom. Was it an illusion? Somehow, that voice and those footsteps seemed despondent.

“What about Su-nam? Do you want to stay with Hyung? Or should we go to my house?”

Baek Do-un approached Jaguar and crouched down to meet the creature’s eye level. Jaguar pulled its head back, avoiding Baek Do-un’s hand as he tried to pet it.

“Are you really going to be like this?”

Baek Do-un poked Jaguar’s cheek with his finger. The creature, flinching with its whiskers fluttering, finally stepped forward with its front paw and snarled. Baek Do-un laughed loudly, as if enjoying the fact that he had provoked the creature for no reason. He wasn’t one to point out others’ personalities either.

Soon, Ju-wan came out of the bedroom. Jaguar quickly stood up and circled around him as he put on his coat. Ju-wan leaned down and rubbed the creature’s face vigorously.

“Su-nam, stay with Hyung. I’ll come again tomorrow.”

“If you’re ready, let’s go. I’m tired after working all day.”

Baek Do-un let out a long yawn and walked toward the entrance. Ju-wan said, “I’m going,” to Kwon Su-hyeok, who hadn’t even looked at him, and silently followed him. Jaguar also followed along.

“No, Su-nam, stay with Hyung. Hyung will be lonely by himself, so play with him.”

Soon, the sound of a small struggle was heard at the entrance. It seemed Jaguar was trying to follow.

“…Sigh.”

He let out a sigh and sprang up from his seat. Then he strode through the hallway toward the entrance. Baek Do-un, Ju-wan, and Jaguar all turned to look at the approaching Kwon Su-hyeok. Thinking that he had come to take Jaguar, Ju-wan lightly pushed the creature toward Kwon Su-hyeok.

“Go to Hyung.”

Jaguar reluctantly trudged toward Kwon Su-hyeok. Only then did Ju-wan straighten up and stare at Kwon Su-hyeok again. Kwon Su-hyeok remained silent.

“Let’s go, Ju-wan.”

“Ah, yes.”

As Ju-wan followed Baek Do-un, he kept glancing back at Kwon Su-hyeok. He seemed to have lingering attachment, or perhaps he was worried. Baek Do-un flung the door open and stepped out, and Ju-wan’s head slowly turned outward. His two legs, which had been stationary, began to move. Although it all happened in an instant, it felt like slow motion in Kwon Su-hyeok’s eyes.

The area under Kwon Su-hyeok’s eyes twitched. Strength entered the fists clenched at his sides. Jaguar, who was beside him, looked up at him with a questioning gaze.

It was the moment Ju-wan grabbed the doorknob to go outside. Suddenly, he was grabbed by the scruff of his neck with immense force and pulled back inside. The front door slammed shut right in front of his nose. He looked back, bewildered. Kwon Su-hyeok, who had caught up in an instant, was gripping the hood of his coat tightly. His brow was deeply furrowed, and his shaking eyes were full of confusion.

“Why… Whoa!”

Without any explanation, Kwon Su-hyeok abruptly grabbed Ju-wan’s arm and dragged him into the living room. Ju-wan was helplessly dragged along, unable to even take off his shoes. From outside the closed front door, Baek Do-un shouted that he would wait in the car. There was no time to respond to that.

Having brought Ju-wan in recklessly, Kwon Su-hyeok let go of him as if pushing him in front of the sofa. Ju-wan rubbed his aching arm and looked up at Kwon Su-hyeok.

“Do you have something to say to me?”

Kwon Su-hyeok’s mouth remained tightly shut. The confusion in his eyes persisted. He didn’t know what he was thinking when he grabbed Ju-wan. Even though he still didn’t remember who he was, how they had met, or what their relationship had been. Seeing him quietly follow Baek Do-un, he couldn’t stand it. He felt like he couldn’t let him go like that. It was vague, but that was the feeling.

“…You have nowhere to go.”

“You want me to stay here?”

“You’ve been staying here anyway, all this time. So….”

He made an excuse that didn’t suit him. Ju-wan stared intently at Kwon Su-hyeok. It was a gaze that was calm yet seemed to see right through him. “That’s all,” he said, whipping his head away. He even went and sat on the sofa as if nothing had happened.

“Is that really all?”

Ju-wan subtly pressed for more. He didn’t know. He just didn’t like it. It bothered him that Ju-wan was trying to leave the house when he hadn’t told him to go. Why on earth? Every time he saw Ju-wan, a strange appetite stirred, so he had tried hard to ignore and disregard him. If the man were to leave on his own, to disappear from his sight, shouldn’t he be glad? Why did he not want that? Reason and instinct fought fiercely inside him.

“Su-hyeok….”

Soon, Ju-wan approached Kwon Su-hyeok. As soon as his scent touched the tip of his nose, his heart thudded heavily. When Ju-wan’s hand touched him, he flinched as if an electric current had run through him.

“If there’s something you want, just tell me. Don’t agonize over it alone.”

Ju-wan held Kwon Su-hyeok’s hand as if supporting it with his own. Then, as he slowly crouched beside the sofa, he rested his cheek on the back of Su-hyeok’s hand. The feeling of skin softly touching and rubbing, and that body heat, were familiar. It felt as if a deeply missed sensation was coming back to life.

He slowly moved his hand. Ju-wan pulled his cheek away and looked up at Kwon Su-hyeok. He felt a certain longing in that straight, quiet gaze. He pressed the plump lip with his thumb. The lip, which had been softly pressed, bounced back elastically. Through the slightly parted mouth, neat teeth and a red tongue were glimpsed. Kwon Su-hyeok’s Adam’s apple bobbed significantly.

But that was only for a moment; Kwon Su-hyeok roughly pulled his hand away from Ju-wan. Then he sprang up from his seat and entered the bedroom. He slammed the door shut with a bang, as if intending to break it.

“Damn it.”

He wondered if he had lost his mind, feeling such lust for another man. It would have been better if he had thought of Ju-wan, and if that was why his body was heating up. The problem was that he still couldn’t remember him, yet he continued to desire him incessantly.

He ruffled his hair, trying to soothe the turmoil boiling within him. Just then, he sensed a small presence outside. Then came Ju-wan’s voice, saying he was coming in.

Without answering, Su-hyeok stood staring at the wall. Soon, Ju-wan entered the room and quietly closed the door. Even though he tried not to be conscious of it, he could clearly feel the man’s soft breathing and his movements. Kwon Su-hyeok frowned bitterly and clenched his teeth.

But in the next moment, Su-hyeok’s face smoothed out in shock. Suddenly, Ju-wan’s arms reached around his waist and pulled him into a tight embrace. Ju-wan’s forehead rested against his back, and his flat chest pressed firmly against him. Su-hyeok froze, his entire body stiffening from the surprise. Even so, his heart hammered erratically. It was at a level where he worried Ju-wan, who was nuzzling against his back, might actually hear it.

Su-hyeok abruptly grabbed Ju-wan’s wrists and pushed him away. As they faced each other, Ju-wan had an expression as if he were desperately pleading for something. For some reason, Su-hyeok’s heart felt like it was breaking. Simultaneously, a dull ache flared in his core. He gasped for air, his shoulders heaving. He had to shake Ju-wan off first. He had to avoid contact with him. That was how it should be, but Ju-wan slowly approached again and hugged him. His arms wrapped firmly around Su-hyeok’s back and waist.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Gritting his teeth, Su-hyeok tried to pry Ju-wan’s arms loose. However, Ju-wan persisted, tightening his grip. He even shook his head stubbornly.

“…Ha.”

Su-hyeok looked up at the ceiling and swallowed hard. He clenched his jaw and shrugged his shoulders. For a moment, the embrace loosened, but Ju-wan stubbornly clung to him again. Su-hyeok shoved him away with force. Being so firmly rejected, Ju-wan’s eyebrows drooped. He couldn’t even look him straight in the eye like before.

“I’m sorry if you didn’t like it.”

Su-hyeok grabbed Ju-wan’s chin and jerked it up. He twisted his head and leaned in sharply. They were so close that their lips almost touched. An anxious breath repeatedly tickled the philtrum. Even then, Su-hyeok squeezed out the last of his patience and barely held on. A thick vein pulsed on his smooth forehead. He shifted his gaze from downward to glare at the startled Ju-wan. He gave a warning with his eyes to the man who had dared to rush him, then stepped back.

In that instant, Ju-wan suddenly lunged forward and finally pressed a quick kiss to Su-hyeok’s lips. He then paused, seeing Su-hyeok’s face instinctively crumple.

“…….”

“…….”

For a moment, their gazes clashed in a tense standoff. It was Su-hyeok who ended the confrontation abruptly. He grabbed the back of Ju-wan’s head, pulled him in, and crashed their lips together roughly. Their jaws collided, causing a slight pain, but without time to feel it, he greedily swallowed Ju-wan’s lips. As Ju-wan’s tongue pushed out as if to say something, Su-hyeok overlapped it with his own and sucked hard, pulling him in violently.

They collapsed together onto the bed. As they caught their breath for a moment, Ju-wan looked up at Su-hyeok with bewildered eyes. With lips glistening wet and cheeks slightly flushed, his gaze seemed to be wondering if it was okay to be swept away. When Su-hyeok gripped both his cheeks with one hand, Ju-wan’s slightly parting lips opened a bit wider. Su-hyeok shoved his tongue deep inside.

As Ju-wan’s head tilted back, his chest rose slightly. Ju-wan let out a soft “ngh” sound, struggling somewhat to take in Su-hyeok’s tongue. Su-hyeok pressed down firmly on the faintly flickering tongue, sweeping and rubbing it, thoroughly occupying the inside of his mouth. Ju-wan could only cling to Su-hyeok, weakly licking the tongue that rampaged like a tyrant in his mouth.

In an instant, hot blood surged to his head. An unknown thirst made his throat burn and his mouth go dry. There was no longer any way to suppress his lust.

“…Ugh.”

The moment he released the lips he had been biting, he sank his teeth into Ju-wan’s white neck. A thick scent of body odor wafted into the tip of his nose where it touched the skin. For a moment, he felt lightheaded. He sharpened his teeth and nibbled on the skin that tasted sweet. Ju-wan flinched at the sharp pain and let out a low moan. His pressed body trembled.

Exhaling a long breath, Su-hyeok slid his hand inside Ju-wan’s t-shirt. The soft skin clung to his hand. His fingertips instinctively pressed down hard. It felt as if he had missed this skin, this body heat, terribly.

He left a hickey on the side of the neck and pressed his lips down, kissing his way to the Adam’s apple. Then, he bunched his tongue against the protruding larynx and squeezed the area tightly with his lips.

“Ah… ngh.”

Ju-wan’s waist trembled violently. He bit his lower lip with his upper teeth. The skin, which had been transparently white, flushed red, leaving handprints wherever Su-hyeok gripped. A strange desire for conquest surged within him, wanting to dye the man’s entire body crimson.

Su-hyeok rolled Ju-wan’s t-shirt up to his armpits in one go. The pale pink flesh on the stark white skin caught his eye. It was just a flat chest, yet he swallowed hard. He knew it wouldn’t taste like anything special, yet he felt it.

Driven by an irresistible, powerful force, he pressed his lips against it. Ju-wan’s waist jerked. Su-hyeok looked up to gauge his reaction and slowly opened his mouth. He extended his tongue and licked the small nub thickly.

“Hng…”

Ju-wan trembled and squeezed his eyes shut. Does he feel it in his chest even though he’s a man? Watching Ju-wan’s reaction, Su-hyeok licked the nipple again and then sucked it up. Ju-wan’s body jumped in response.

“Ngh… Su-hyeok-ssi.”

The gaze Ju-wan cast upon him was precarious, devoid of any composure. It was a stark contrast to his usual calm demeanor. Su-hyeok wanted to break him down further.

Closing his eyes tight, he suctioned Ju-wan’s nipple with all his might. He nibbled it with his teeth, crushed it flat with his tongue, and then sucked it again and again. Ju-wan groaned, slowly shaking his head. His limbs twitched incessantly. The more he sucked the small nub, the more the chest area seemed to lift and cling to his lips.

While obsessively tormenting one nipple, he slid his hand down. Passing the chest to the smooth abdomen and pelvis, his hand pushed deep inside the pants. He forced his way between the legs that were pressed tightly together, refusing to part. Suddenly, his hand touched a hard, erect penis. Startled, he pulled his hand away. He also bolted upright from the upper body that had been pressed against Ju-wan.

“…Su-hyeok-ssi?”

Ju-wan looked up at him inquisitively. Su-hyeok had a blank expression, as if he had received a great shock, and was only gasping for air. Then, he stared down at the hand that had touched Ju-wan’s member.

A sudden wave of dizziness washed over him. It felt as if cold water had been splashed onto his boiling brain. The muscles in his entire body throbbed with pain. It was like a car racing madly had slammed on the brakes, and the overheating engine couldn’t cool down immediately, leaving it growling. Even his burning spine cooled rapidly, and sweat trickled down.

Gasping for air repeatedly, Su-hyeok clutched his throbbing head and irritably left the bed. Ju-wan suddenly grabbed him. When Su-hyeok looked back irritably, Ju-wan met his eyes and slowly sat up. Then, he held Su-hyeok’s face with both hands and gently pressed his lips against Su-hyeok’s.

The lightly overlapped lips slowly parted. After the kiss, Su-hyeok’s brow was deeply furrowed. Ju-wan watched him intently and then pressed his lips against Su-hyeok’s again. As if that weren’t enough, he placed kisses on his pulsing forehead, his wrinkled brow, the tip of his sharp nose, and his sleek jaw.

Having stood dazed while receiving the ticklish kisses, Su-hyeok grabbed Ju-wan’s shoulders and pushed him away.

“You really… what are you.”

Su-hyeok’s face distorted with frustration and unfulfilled desire. His entire body wanted Ju-wan, but he couldn’t embrace him without any certainty. If he were swept away by emotion for a moment, he might make their original relationship irreversible. Su-hyeok shook his head firmly. He gripped Ju-wan’s arms tightly and slowly pushed him away.

He stood up abruptly and strode outside. He needed to cool his head. He needed time to organize both his restless body and his complicated mind.

Shaking off the lingering attachment, he gripped the doorknob and pulled it down. Just then, Ju-wan’s voice rang out from behind him.

“I love you.”

He stopped dead in his tracks at the poignant confession. His thoughts also came to a halt. Suddenly, his mind went blank, and he couldn’t even remember what he had been trying to do.

He turned his head, bewildered. Ju-wan, left alone, was looking at Su-hyeok pleadingly. It felt as if a gentle ripple was forming in the pond deep within his heart. Suddenly, his fingertips trembled. He intentionally clenched his hand into a fist. He bit his lip to keep it from opening reflexively.

He turned away again, rejecting Ju-wan’s plea-like confession. He felt a surge of nausea from some overwhelming energy rapidly filling his chest. Too many thoughts were multiplying like cells, making his head feel as if it would explode.

“I love you.”

A gentle ripple stirred in the deep, dark, and silent depths of his heart. That resonance, like a miracle, blew away all the thoughts that had been tormenting Su-hyeok. His throbbing head and bloated stomach were cleared completely. It felt as if all of Ju-wan’s emotions were melted into those three words. The anxiety he must have harbored since hearing the news of Su-hyeok’s accident, the alienation he must have endured while waiting for him to remember, the deep longing for the man he used to be, and the affection that remained despite his changed attitude.

“So please, don’t leave like that.”

At the following plea, a grinding sound finally escaped Su-hyeok’s tightly shut teeth. Something that had been stretched taut in his mind snapped, and a dizzying sensation licked down the back of his neck. The instincts he had stubbornly hidden, ignored, and suppressed pierced through the final defensive barrier in an instant.

“Leave…?”

Su-hyeok, who had been standing as if rooted to the spot, turned around again. His movement as he lunged toward the bed was like an unleashed beast. Ju-wan was pushed back before he could even finish his sentence. In the blink of an eye, he was pinned to the bed. His vision was filled with Su-hyeok’s face, gasping for air in agony. The pressed body was hot.

“Ha… ha…”

Su-hyeok’s broad shoulders heaved as he continuously exhaled ragged breaths. His brow was still furrowed. His usually calm eyes were stained with a deep red lust, reflecting only Ju-wan.

He released the hand that had been greedily gripping Ju-wan’s thigh and stroked his cheek. A faint static electricity rose at his fingertips. Ju-wan slowly closed his eyes and gently rubbed his cheek against Su-hyeok’s hand. For some reason, a part of Su-hyeok’s heart felt tight.

Suppressing his breath, he moved his tingling fingers to trace Ju-wan’s face. The straight forehead, the moderately thick eyebrows, the round eyes beneath them, the small, sharp nose, and the slightly parted, plump lips. It was familiar. He had missed it. His body remembered him first.

His mind gave up on thinking any further. He simply didn’t have the luxury. All that remained was a massive, wildly writhing desire. He wanted to taste every inch of Ju-wan and swallow him whole right now.

He pulled at Ju-wan’s lower lip before abruptly kissing him. He tilted his head to lock their lips without a gap and sucked Ju-wan’s tongue up. As he tightened his lips around the drawn-in tongue and suctioned it hungrily, a groan escaped Ju-wan. He stubbornly sucked the tongue until the root felt numb, then released it, only to chase the retreating tongue and push his own deep into Ju-wan’s mouth. Ju-wan’s tongue was pushed back helplessly, pressing against his uvula.

“…Mmph, ngh.”

He abruptly pulled his lips away and kissed the sharp jawline and neck in succession. Then, he swept the half-lifted clothing up to the shoulders in one go and took the previously tormented nipple into his mouth. He applied pressure with the tip of his tongue, crushing and digging into the hardened flesh until it softened. As if it were too much to bear, Ju-wan’s knees repeatedly pressed together and then fell apart, trembling.

“Haa, ngh… ng, ah…”

While crushing the opposite nipple, he slid his hand down Ju-wan’s waist, hips, and thighs. Without fail, handprints were left on the white skin.

“…Ngh, Su-hyeok-ssi.”

Ju-wan called out to Su-hyeok desperately. Only then did Su-hyeok pull his mouth away from the chest. The nipple was visibly swollen. Around it, three or four tooth marks were engraved. By morning, they would be bluish bruises.

“Ah… ngh.”

Su-hyeok bit and released Ju-wan’s undulating abdomen and sides. He then sank his teeth into the wrists and the inside of the upper arms, suctioning hard to leave deep hickeys. Ju-wan, moaning at the subtle pain, wrapped his arms around Su-hyeok’s neck as he moved upward. He was practically clinging to him. Su-hyeok continuously pressed his lips to Ju-wan’s shoulder while stripping off his pants and briefs in one motion.

He buried his lips repeatedly against the hot ear and teased the earlobe with the bridge of his nose. The deepened body scent, the fine vellus hair, and the low, aching voice brought back memories that had been buried. Consequently, his appetite grew even more voracious. All hesitation vanished.

He pushed his tongue inside the ear canal and slowly explored. Ju-wan’s head tilted away stubbornly. This only made Su-hyeok cling more obsessively, sliding his hand from the neck to the cleavage, over the abdomen, and down to the groin. The moment the stiff penis touched Su-hyeok’s hand, Ju-wan’s body shuddered.

“Ngh…”

Ju-wan’s lower body lifted slightly in anticipation. Pressing the erect member against the inside of his arm, Su-hyeok pushed his hand deeper. He felt around the buttock cleft and found the opening. He caressed the hole, which was softer than anywhere else, moving his arm gently. Each time, Ju-wan’s penis, caught between Su-hyeok’s arm and his own abdomen, was rubbed and stimulated.

“Ngh, ah…”

Ju-wan’s cheeks flushed red from the intermittent, strange pleasure. His waist subtly swayed and twisted, seeking stronger stimulation. In response, Su-hyeok stroked the scrotum with his thumb as if kneading dough, while massaging the folds around the opening one by one. Ju-wan’s toes curled tightly at the surges of tingling sensation. The clothes of Su-hyeok that he held were crumpled mercilessly.

He was reaching his limit. Su-hyeok, whose hand had been lingering anxiously around the opening for a while, applied pressure and attempted to enter. It wasn’t wet, and since it hadn’t been loosened at all, he couldn’t even get one finger in. If he just pushed through, he felt he would inevitably draw blood. But with blood rushing to his head, he didn’t have the luxury to leisurely widen the area.

“Ah…!”

A small scream erupted from Ju-wan. It was because his lower body was suddenly hoisted up, causing blood to rush to his head. Su-hyeok folded Ju-wan’s body in half and spread his buttocks to reveal the hidden opening. As the outside air touched it, the hole tightened shut. Su-hyeok unconsciously swallowed hard.

“No, don’t… ah…”

Without hesitation, Su-hyeok buried his face in the cleft of Ju-wan’s buttocks. The sharp perineum was pressed against the bridge of his nose, and soon, a soft tongue rested on the opening. The dry skin instantly became moist and lukewarm. Ju-wan froze his entire body, swallowing the breath that was about to burst. His trembling knees pressed tightly together.

He relaxed the area by repeatedly bunching his tongue against the hole, licking it thickly and sucking it shallowly. Then, he applied firm pressure with the tip of his tongue to tease the opening. The bridge of his nose swept the sensitive perineum as his head moved. Each time, the legs he held tightened with reflexive strength.

“Haa… ngh, ah…”

Before long, the tender skin became drenched and softened, and the tip of the tongue began to be swallowed. The inner mucosa touched the tongue tantalizingly. It wasn’t enough. He wanted to dig deeper and stir it to his heart’s content.

He released Ju-wan’s legs, which he had been holding down, and hastily lowered his zipper. As he pushed aside the underwear, the rigidly erect penis sprang out.

“…Ngh!”

When the hard member hit his buttocks, Ju-wan flinched in surprise. Su-hyeok looked at him intently and slowly rubbed his penis against the opening. It felt as if he might thrust deep inside at any moment. Ju-wan, anxiously watching the area below, tapped Su-hyeok’s knee.

“There’s lube in the drawer.”

Su-hyeok let out a deep breath and reached for the bedside drawer. He took out the lube and squeezed it onto his penis. The member, covered in lube like syrup, throbbed heavily. It seemed to recognize that insertion was imminent. The urethra flared repeatedly, as if gasping for air.

He pressed his member against Ju-wan’s hole again. Ju-wan bit his lower lip and held his breath. In the next moment, Su-hyeok pressed his hips down deeply and pushed himself inside. As he applied pressure to the member that had been blocked at the entrance, the opening steadily widened, swallowing him further and further in.

“…Ngh, ugh.”

Ju-wan’s limbs trembled violently as he threw his head back. His two hands clawed desperately at the innocent duvet. He had only pushed in about halfway, yet the flesh fit the hole with absolute tightness. Su-hyeok twisted his hips slightly, searching for a gap, and then suddenly bit Ju-wan’s cheek. The moment Ju-wan let out a small “ah,” the tension below loosened. Not missing that split second, Su-hyeok slammed himself in. Thanks to the slippery gel, he was inserted all the way to the root in one go.

“Augh…!”

“Ngh, haa….”

Thick veins bulged on Kwon Su-hyeok’s forehead. It felt as if his tightly gripped member might be snapped off at any moment. Because of that, he couldn’t even breathe properly.

Ju-wan, for his part, gasped for air. His entire body was tense. Even his buttocks, pressed upward by Kwon Su-hyeok’s pelvis, trembled as if convulsing. Su-hyeok lowered his head and pressed a kiss to Ju-wan’s stiff cheek.

“Breathe.”

After whispering lowly, he captured Ju-wan’s tightly closed lips with his own to pry them open. Only then did Ju-wan finally exhale the breath he had been holding. Along with that, his rigid body softened slightly. Su-hyeok took advantage of that moment to thrust hard. With the swift movement of his hips, the resistance of the tight entrance began to collapse helplessly.

Kwon Su-hyeok pushed Ju-wan’s thighs up with his knees and recklessly plowed into the hole that tried to tighten around him. Ju-wan fell apart under the deep plunge of the insertions—pulling out until only the glans remained, then slamming back in to the root in a single motion.

“Ngh! Ah, ngh… slow, ugh! Ng… slow, hit, ngh!”

Ju-wan let out screams that sounded like moans, clawing at Kwon Su-hyeok’s knees and shoulders. Pleas for him to go slowly rattled repeatedly in his throat. Since the hole had loosened sufficiently, Su-hyeok could have granted his request. However, it was impossible to be that leisurely.

Every time he dug into Ju-wan’s body, the dense mucous membrane wrapped tightly around his member. It felt as if the walls were undulating against the surface of his shaft, sweetly sucking him toward a more distant place. Even when he resisted that deep temptation and pushed out, he immediately dove back in several times to seek pleasure. When he opened that cozy body and hammered into the deepest part, heat surged up to his neck and head. The heat felt as if it would melt his brain and eyeballs. Shaking his head in frustration, he slammed his hips down explosively. His waist and thighs grew stiff as if they would burst, but he couldn’t stop for a moment.

“Haa, ha… kh, ngh, haa….”

“Ngh, Su-hyeok, ah, ngh, Su, nngh, ngh, augh…!”

The whitened gel on the surface of his member stretched out like dozens of spiderwebs. It clung to the area around the hole like a white donut, then was crushed with a wet, squelching sound as the member slammed in. Some of it flowed down, thickly licking the crease of the buttocks.

Ju-wan groaned miserably, his limbs flailing. He struggled to escape the stimulation that drove him to the limit without any modulation of intensity. As if refusing to tolerate even that weak resistance, Kwon Su-hyeok hugged Ju-wan tightly, almost covering him with his own body. As their two bodies pressed together, their lower halves adhered completely. Fixed in a state where he was pressed so flat he couldn’t even budge, Ju-wan felt Kwon Su-hyeok’s glans, like a heated stone, forcing its way even deeper.

“Ah… no, no… ngh! Ugh, ah, no, ngh…!”

Ju-wan’s head, which had been shaking, soon snapped back. Every time Kwon Su-hyeok snapped his hips forward, Ju-wan’s member suffered between their two pressed abdomens. Kwon Su-hyeok’s distinct abs repeatedly scraped and crushed the swollen flesh. With both the front and back being stimulated without a moment’s respite, Ju-wan’s body reacted desperately.

Pleasurably pressing down the white body that exhibited a meager survival instinct, Su-hyeok pressed his lips to the exposed neck, jaw, and ear. He tightly squeezed the thin skin filled with body scent with his lips and licked it long with a bunched, wet tongue. While his gestures to soothe the suffering Ju-wan were quite tender, his ruthless hip movements only accelerated. The sound of skin clashing violently echoed in his ears. Even if it were a deal to take someone’s virginity, one wouldn’t usually push their partner this far.

Soon, his vision grew even more dizzy. Despite his skin still feeling hot, goosebumps rose along his spine, neck, and arms. His brain matter seemed to boil.

“Haa, haa….”

“Augh, ah, ah… ngh, hng….”

As if intending to see it through to the very end, Kwon Su-hyeok, who had been driving relentlessly, suddenly moved his hips slowly. Instead, he buried himself deep to the root and stirred the inside sluggishly. The swollen hole was swept along with it. The inner walls, which had been stinging from being poked so much, were stimulated with a dull, tingling ache. Ju-wan struggled, glancing down below. His face, which had been groaning in pain, distorted subtly.

While staring intently at that face, Su-hyeok hit the inside with steady, heavy thuds. Ju-wan, who had been whimpering and collapsing repeatedly, fumbled with both hands to hold Kwon Su-hyeok’s face. Su-hyeok could feel the fingertips trembling. He turned his head slightly and kissed the fingertips. Ju-wan, who had been exhaling unstable breaths, managed to press his lips against Kwon Su-hyeok’s. It was a rather pitiful kiss.

Twisting his head to lock their lips without a gap, Su-hyeok pressed his lower half rapidly again. The sound of wet flesh mixing frequently echoed vividly.

“Hic, ngh… ngh, ngh… augh….”

“Haa, ha, haugh….”

It felt as if a warning light was flashing in his head. His vision flickered, and suddenly everything blurred yellow. His thighs and abdomen, expanded to their limit, felt as if they would tear. Yet, he rushed toward the climax without stopping. The burning sensation originating from the groin surged rapidly to his brain, fingertips, and toes. With a thud, he collapsed into Ju-wan. In an instant, the remnants of desire that had pooled thickly inside the pelvis exploded white.

“Keugh, ngh, ugh…!”

“Aah… ngh, ngh, ha-ah…!”

Ju-wan’s body trembled, and soon their touching abdomens became hot and wet. Kwon Su-hyeok hugged Ju-wan tighter as he gasped from the thrill of ejaculation. Then, leaving numerous kisses on his sweat-soaked neck and ear, he pressed his lower half gently. He was pouring every last drop of the knot of desire remaining inside him into Ju-wan. It was a stubborn gesture, as if trying to mark his territory by staining him with his own scent.

“Haa… ha, haa, Su-hyeok-ssi….”

Ju-wan slumped, barely managing to breathe. His once clear eyes were now hazy as he called Kwon Su-hyeok’s name in a tired voice.

A bewildered laugh escaped Su-hyeok. He had heard of people regaining lost memories after receiving a powerful shock. At the moment he tasted the climax and ejaculated, it felt as if a flash of light went off in his head. Then, all his memories returned like mushrooms after rain. The moments he first met Ju-wan, the moments he was captivated by him, and the moments he eventually came to love him.

Why had he forgotten him? How could he have forgotten such a lovely person?

Kwon Su-hyeok changed their position, holding Ju-wan as if supporting his back. Soon, Su-hyeok was on the bed, and Ju-wan was sitting on his stomach. Because of this, Kwon Su-hyeok’s member was pushed even deeper. Ju-wan groaned and frowned at the sudden sensation of his internal organs being pushed back. Even after the eruption, Kwon Su-hyeok’s member did not subside, flaunting its presence inside Ju-wan’s body. Every time it twitched, Ju-wan’s arms wavered.

Kwon Su-hyeok pulled Ju-wan’s arms. Then, he gently overlapped his lips with Ju-wan’s, who had drawn closer. He licked the neat teeth, captured the upper lip and let go, and then rubbed the slightly protruding tongue while tightly sucking the lower lip before releasing it.

Unlike before, at the sweet kiss, Ju-wan obediently opened his mouth and extended his red tongue. Su-hyeok tilted his head to overlap and rub their tongues, capturing it again to suck sweetly. Breath was exchanged repeatedly. The corners of his mouth curled up on their own. When he reluctantly pulled his lips away, a thin string of saliva stretched between them. Kwon Su-hyeok gave Ju-wan another light peck and whispered lowly.

“I remember now. Who you are.”

For a moment, Ju-wan looked down at Kwon Su-hyeok blankly. He looked back and forth between Su-hyeok’s eyes as if trying to confirm if his words were true.

“Come here.”

Looking at Ju-wan with a warm gaze, Kwon Su-hyeok gently wrapped his hand around Ju-wan’s head and pulled him in. Ju-wan didn’t resist and slowly collapsed. Su-hyeok let Ju-wan rest his head on his shoulder and gently rubbed his cheek against Ju-wan’s forehead. Ju-wan, who had been held in a daze, finally smiled, his eyes crinkling. He wrapped both arms around Kwon Su-hyeok’s body and rubbed his head against Su-hyeok’s neck as if acting spoiled.

“I love you, truly.”

At the low confession, the heart that had been leaping unstably regained its stability. Ju-wan’s voice, his body heat, and even the scent of his skin seemed to have become a sedative. Kwon Su-hyeok smiled faintly and whispered tiredly.

“I love you too. Park Ju-wan.”

Feeling a tickle on his face, he opened his eyelids. Bright light seeped through the gap in the curtains. It seemed day had already broken. Even then, a finger touched the area near his eyebrow. Smiling at the pleasant annoyance, he grabbed the hand of Ju-wan, who was fiddling with his face, and kissed it. Ju-wan had woken up at some point and was crouching beside him, staring intently at the sleeping Kwon Su-hyeok.

“When did you wake up?”

“A little while ago.”

“Without sleeping more.”

“I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t sleep. I wondered if it was a dream.”

With a chuckle, Su-hyeok pulled Ju-wan’s ankle. After making him sit with his legs stretched out, he moved his head from the pillow to Ju-wan’s thigh. Ju-wan, who obediently gave his leg to Kwon Su-hyeok, gently caressed his cheek again.

“Does it not hurt anymore?”

“Yeah.”

“Is it true that you remember everything?”

“Yeah. Thanks to you.”

Su-hyeok covered the back of Ju-wan’s hand with his own and interlaced their fingers. Then, he buried his lips in the palm, kissing it repeatedly before licking it deeply with his tongue. Ju-wan pressed his hand down on Kwon Su-hyeok’s mouth.

“You said I’d regret it if I was mean to you, right?”

“I did. You were right.”

“Don’t forgive me,” he said, wrapping his arm around Ju-wan’s neck and pulling him in. Ju-wan chuckled and withdrew the hand that had been blocking Kwon Su-hyeok’s mouth. Then, their lips met in reverse. With soft kissing sounds, they slowly sucked each other’s lower lips. The body scent touching the tip of his nose calmed his heart. Just as he was about to press their tongues together to taste him more thoroughly—

Suddenly, something slammed against the closed bedroom door. Ju-wan snapped his head up and looked toward the door.

“Oh right, Su-nam.”

“…Haa.”

Before Su-hyeok could stop him, Ju-wan jumped up and opened the closed door. Sure enough, Jaguar was standing outside. The animal looked up at Ju-wan, who asked if he had slept well, and then shifted its gaze to Kwon Su-hyeok. For a moment, they locked eyes as if in a staring contest.

Soon, the animal finished the meaningless confrontation and trudged into the bedroom. Then, it leaped onto the bed. Ju-wan quickly followed and sat behind the animal, abruptly placing its front paw on Kwon Su-hyeok’s hand.

“I’m so happy that Su-hyeok-ssi has returned to us.”

As if shaking hands, he placed his hand over Jaguar’s paw and shook it, smiling brightly. Jaguar, not knowing what was happening, complied silently and then licked Ju-wan’s cheek. To the ticklish Ju-wan who said “stop it” while collapsing, Su-hyeok pressed his lips to him like Jaguar did. With Jaguar licking one cheek and Kwon Su-hyeok nibbling at the other ear, they both clung to him. A ticklish laugh burst from Ju-wan. Soon, that laughter transferred entirely to Kwon Su-hyeok.

The warm space where Ju-wan and Jaguar were always together. Yes, it was right here. The only sanctuary Kwon Su-hyeok had carefully constructed by piling emotion upon emotion and time upon time after passing through a bleak past. He had finally returned. In the deep sense of relief, the tedious headache and the tightness in his chest seemed to vanish like melting snow.

Fearing he might lose them again, he hugged Ju-wan and Jaguar tightly. The warm sunlight seeping through the curtains continued to caress the family of three.