By Zephyria 
“Good morning.”
Eun-soo greeted his team members with a bright smile. The team members, who were preparing for work, welcomed Eun-soo with various greetings.
Eun-soo quickly began preparing for his tasks. He put on a knit sweater to avoid the air conditioning, turned on the computer, and logged into the intranet. In the meantime, he quickly finished a glass of misutgaru latte.
It was a new menu item at the cafe in front of the company; it was sweet, filling, and large—in every way, it was to Eun-soo’s taste.
After throwing away the empty cup, Eun-soo took a suppressant from his drawer and put it in his mouth. It was a new suppressant he had received from the OB-GYN the day before yesterday.
After parting with Do-kwon like that, Eun-soo had gone to the OB-GYN in a state of extreme tension. He thought his pheromone levels would fluctuate again and that he would be severely scolded by the doctor. However, there wasn’t much change. It seemed that Do-kwon using a condom had been effective.
Of course, he was still scolded for the lack of change. Since his levels weren’t dropping despite taking the medication properly, it was understandable. Eun-soo spoke as if making a vow, saying that he would get better soon and that he was working very hard on his health management.
To put that into practice, he has been trying to eat well and sleep well lately. He even promised the doctor that he would cut the levels in half by the next appointment.
…In truth, Eun-soo still has nightmares, wakes up from those nightmares crying, and occasionally imagines dying. How could he have forgotten Do-kwon in that short time? He is simply living while lying to himself that he has forgotten. Still, he was definitely better than before.
As Eun-soo drank water and looked at the monitor after swallowing the suppressant, one of the team members approached.
“Team Leader. I got a call from the Sales Management Team, and they’re asking if you can meet this afternoon. They want to add a feature to the smart home app that’s being updated this time.”
“This afternoon? One moment…”
Eun-soo quickly checked his calendar. He had work to do, but since the deadline wasn’t today, it seemed fine. Eun-soo nodded in agreement. The team member then left, saying they would set it for 2 PM.
As Eun-soo looked back at his monitor, a moderately familiar figure appeared behind the departing team member.
“The Chairperson is looking for you.”
It was Myeong-hui’s secretary.
Standing in front of the Chairperson’s office, Eun-soo took a moment to steady his breathing. Even though he had expected such a meeting at some point, the tension did not fade.
Because Myeong-hui was someone who had cherished him as much as Do-kwon had. He felt uneasy, as if he were betraying her.
After hesitating for a long time in front of the door, Eun-soo finally knocked. And while he was waiting for Myeong-hui’s answer, the door suddenly swung open.
“Eun-soo.”
Myeong-hui had opened the door herself. Eun-soo, who flinched for a moment, quickly put on a smile.
“Hello, Mother…”
The word ‘Mother’ felt rough on his tongue. They had now become in a relationship where such a title was a bit awkward. However, calling her ‘Chairperson’ so bluntly felt like it wouldn’t be very polite. Who should he ask about this? It would have been nice if his parents were around.
While Eun-soo hesitated, Myeong-hui gently grasped his wrist and led him into the office. As she did, she commanded the secretaries lined up outside.
“Bring that.”
At those words, the secretaries scattered. Eun-soo wore an ambiguous smile. Judging by the situation, he suspected she had bought a bunch of gifts for him again.
For the past few weeks, Myeong-hui had been on a business trip to a distant foreign country. Thus, they hadn’t seen each other for a while. In a way, it was a relief, and in another way, it was a misfortune. If she had been there, the relationship between him and Do-kwon might have flowed in a different direction.
Well… even so, Do-kwon’s heart would have remained unchanged. He probably would have clung to the hem of Do-kwon’s pants and stubbornly endured regardless.
“Why have you become so thin? You should be gaining weight.”
Myeong-hui, who had seated Eun-soo on the sofa, furrowed her brows as much as possible. He thought that in her eyes, he probably looked like a patient on the verge of starvation or suffering from malnutrition.
Eun-soo laughed as if embarrassed.
“I eat well, but I don’t gain weight easily. Still, my belly has grown quite a bit.”
Eun-soo pulled up the bottom of his shirt to reveal his roundly swollen belly. Compared to other pregnant people in their fifth month, it was on the smaller side, but now anyone could tell at a glance that he was a pregnant Omega. Just a month ago, hardly anyone gave up their seat on the subway, but lately, he often received a lot of help.
“Exactly! How can your belly grow but you not gain weight? Did you eat breakfast?”
“Yes. I had kimchi stew and rolled omelets, and I even ate two bowls of rice. My morning sickness is gone, so I can eat anything now.”
“Meat? Why didn’t you eat meat?”
“Uh… I did put some pork in the kimchi stew…”
“A little bit isn’t enough.”
Of course not. It wasn’t. Myeong-hui shook her head with a serious expression. As Eun-soo blinked, unsure of what to do, there was a knock. Someone knocked on the door of the chairperson’s office.
“Yes, come in.”
At Myeong-hui’s answer, the secretaries appeared, each carrying heavy items. There were paper bags stamped with familiar luxury brand logos, boxes of unknown contents, and elegantly wrapped baskets.
Eun-soo suspected they were clothes, food, and desserts that Myeong-hui had bought whenever they caught her eye while she was abroad. As Eun-soo stared at them blankly, Myeong-hui spoke with a dissatisfied look on her face.
“I didn’t know you were eating so poorly, so I only bought plenty of macarons and cookies. I thought that rascal Do-kwon would take good care of your meals…”
“Haha… I, I eat well…”
“No, no. I’ll send some food over.”
At those words, Eun-soo gasped. This was because the amount of food Myeong-hui sent as ‘a little’ was never actually a little.
Previously, Eun-soo had liked how Myeong-hui took such extreme care of him. Since he had a hearty appetite and the food Myeong-hui provided was delicious enough to elicit spontaneous admiration, he had secretly looked forward to her sending food.
But now… receiving such kindness felt ambiguous… and he wasn’t entirely happy.
“I’ll send it to Do-kwon’s side. I’ll make sure the meat is sent as cold and fresh as possible, but the weather is hot, so check if it’s spoiled before eating. If you’re not sure, feed it to Do-kwon first. He has a picky palate, so he’ll know immediately. Also…”
“Um… Mother.”
Eun-soo rudely cut Myeong-hui off.
“Yes. What is it?”
However, Myeong-hui looked at Eun-soo with a beaming smile, showing no sign of being offended. Facing that smile, Eun-soo’s complexion darkened. His fingertips couldn’t stay still, pressing firmly into his own knees. His gaze kept falling, lower and lower.
“…”
Sensing the unusual atmosphere, Myeong-hui waved her hand toward the line of secretaries. It was a signal for them to leave. The secretaries, who had piled the gifts to one side, quickly exited.
“Dear. Is something wrong?”
Myeong-hui gently wrapped her hand around the back of Eun-soo’s. At the touch of the warm, soft hand, Eun-soo bit his lip. He felt like he might burst into tears without warning. But he didn’t let them fall. Due to various events, he had become quite skilled at suppressing his cries.
Licking his dry lips, Eun-soo spoke heavily.
“Um…”
“Yes.”
“I broke up with Do-kwon.”
“…”
Myeong-hui’s eyes narrowed. Her eyelids twitched, and the corners of her mouth drooped. At this, Eun-soo curled his head like a sinner.
A high-performance air purifier was running vigorously in one corner, yet the air felt suffocating. Myeong-hui’s gaze piercing into his cheek felt like a long sword, and the endless silence pressed down on his shoulders like a slab of iron.
“…What did you say?”
After a long silence, Myeong-hui asked back in a low voice. Eun-soo swallowed hard.
“I’m sorry. It… turned out that way.”
He felt like he might die from the discomfort and guilt. He hadn’t felt uncomfortable being with Myeong-hui since their first few meetings. Now, his brain felt like it was cramping as he wondered what excuse he could make to escape this lavish and spacious office. He even had the cruel thought of whether he should just clutch his stomach and collapse.
“Why? Because of what?”
Myeong-hui asked, leaning her face in close. Behind her, a tiger statue as large as a house was visible, and Eun-soo truly felt as if he were being threatened by a predator. It was just as Eun-soo began to stammer.
“That is…”
Myeong-hui shook her head firmly.
“No, no. Forget it. Don’t say anything. I’ll ask Do-kwon. It must be that brat’s fault.”
She shifted her hips. She looked ready to storm into the director’s office where Do-kwon was at any moment. Eun-soo quickly grabbed her hand.
“Mother.”
“…”
“Could you… please not ask… anything?”
Eun-soo looked up at Myeong-hui with damp, moist eyes.
He knew it was a selfish request. Her son, who had loathed Omegas, had finally fallen in love, his partner had become pregnant, and they had burned passionately as if they would grow old together, only to suddenly break up—she would naturally be bewildered and curious.
Eun-soo knew well how affectionately Myeong-hui had viewed and supported his relationship with Do-kwon. That was why he felt even more guilty and sorry… but he didn’t want Myeong-hui to reprimand Do-kwon.
He didn’t want to be looked upon unfavorably by Do-kwon anymore. If Myeong-hui scolded and cursed Do-kwon now, Do-kwon would resent him entirely.
He hated that. He didn’t have the confidence to meet him again, and he wondered what difference it would make to try and get on his good side now. But even if they were ex-lovers, he didn’t want to be remembered as the worst.
Eun-soo tightened his grip on Myeong-hui’s hand.
“Just… like many people my age meet and break up, please think of it as Do-kwon and I just happened to be like that. That we fought over something trivial and eventually broke up. That we just weren’t meant to be. Could you… think of it that way?”
“…”
“I am sorry to say this to you, Mother, but still… could you just… let it go?”
“…”
The more Eun-soo’s desperate plea continued, the colder Myeong-hui’s face became. For some reason, it was a familiar face. Do-kwon’s face overlapped with hers. As expected of mother and son, the similar shape of the eyes and the identical bridge of the nose looked down at Eun-soo coldly.
“Fine. But then, what about the child in your womb?”
At those words, Eun-soo felt a sudden chill run down his spine. From a distant time, Do-kwon’s low voice crawled back.
‘Bomi—no, the baby—get rid of it.’
‘If it’s not my child, I don’t care if you get rid of it or not. If it is my child, get rid of it.’
‘Don’t bother me later.’
‘I’ll give you as much money as you need. That little dating game was fun.’
‘Let’s end it here, without seeing any more filthy sights, Mr. Yoo Eun-soo.’
Could it be… could it be that Myeong-hui would also tell him to get rid of Bomi? She probably would. Since they had broken up, the fact that Do-kwon’s child was in his womb would likely be unpleasant.
Eun-soo wrapped his trembling hands around his stomach.
“I’ll raise Bomi without anyone knowing she’s Do-kwon’s daughter.”
“…What?”
“I have no intention of making money through Bomi. I have even less intention of holding Do-kwon back. I can even sign a contract. If you tell me to quit the company, I will. So please… don’t tell me to get rid of Bomi.”
Eun-soo’s face turned pale in an instant. It was a face that anyone could see was not normal. It was the same face factory owners, who were about to go bankrupt overnight because Seong-jin cut off a subcontract or terminated a contract, made when they came to beg her.
Myeong-hui sat close beside Eun-soo.
“Exactly… what on earth did Do-kwon say to you? Why get rid of Bomi? Who gave him permission to get rid of my granddaughter!”
Startled by the sharp voice, Eun-soo’s shoulders flinched. Then, he curled his already slumped neck even further.
“I’m sorry…”
“For what? What are you sorry for?”
“…”
Eun-soo chewed his lip. If she interrogated him on what he was sorry for, there was a lot to confess. However, his brazen and selfish lips chose silence. As Eun-soo rolled his eyes, unsure of what to do, Myeong-hui coaxed him in a soft voice.
“Eun-soo. Dear. Do-kwon isn’t the only one who has watched you for a long time. I’ve watched you for over two years as well. I know what kind of person you are.”
“…”
“I don’t know the reason why you two—why you broke up—but isn’t it obvious whose fault it is?”
“Mother.”
That’s not it… Eun-soo shook his head quickly. But Myeong-hui was already not listening to him.
“Is it because of Do-kwon’s memory? Are you upset that he still hasn’t found his memories? That’s possible. I would feel the same. I’d want to open that brat’s head and rummage through his brain.”
“No. It’s not like that.”
“Enough. I don’t need to hear more.”
Myeong-hui stood up. Startled, Eun-soo quickly stood up after her. However, Myeong-hui didn’t look at Eun-soo and declared firmly.
“Eun-soo. I cannot throw you away. And I have absolutely no intention of throwing away my granddaughter. I will handle this myself.”
“Mother…”
“Go on and tend to your work. Don’t forget to eat lunch. I’ll send the gifts to your house.”
Myeong-hui sat in the chairperson’s seat. Then, she immediately picked up the receiver. She didn’t give Eun-soo a single glance. It was a silent warning not to say anything more and to just leave quietly.
Biting his lip, Eun-soo had no choice but to leave the chairperson’s office. Then, instead of heading to the 14th floor where the design team was, he headed to the 22nd floor where the director’s office was.
“Uh… Team Leader Yoo?”
Secretary Jeong, who spotted Eun-soo entering the hallway, widened his eyes. Then, he strode toward Eun-soo with his long legs, expressing his pleasure.
“Hello, Team Leader Yoo.”
“Ah, Secretary Jeong…”
“It’s been a while since you’ve come to the director’s office.”
“I guess so. It’s been… a while.”
Eun-soo smiled faintly, his eyes crinkling.
Secretary Jeong smiled back. He had been quite worried lately because Do-kwon hadn’t mentioned Eun-soo at all. Seeing Eun-soo come to the director’s office like this, it seemed things were working out well.
An excited Secretary Jeong personally guided Eun-soo to the director’s office.
“The director is inside.”
“Yes.”
“He has an important meeting at 11, so please return him to work before then.”
Secretary Jeong gave a playful wink, wrinkling the bridge of his nose. Then, he knocked on the door and announced Eun-soo’s visit, saying, “Director, Team Leader Yoo is here.” Not stopping there, he kindly opened the door for him. Thanks to that, Eun-soo had to face Do-kwon before he could even mentally prepare himself.
As Eun-soo was pushed into the director’s office, Secretary Jeong closed the door with a beaming smile.
“…”
Do-kwon, holding a black fountain pen with gold trim, stared silently at Eun-soo. At that indifferent gaze, Eun-soo cast his eyes down. His wrist felt itchy, so he scratched the inside of his wrist through his shirt sleeve.
It was the first time he had seen Do-kwon since that day. The day Do-kwon had gone into rut. Since Eun-soo had declared their end with his own mouth, he hadn’t appeared before him, and the numerous missed calls had also stopped.
In fact, unless they made a concerted effort to meet, it was difficult for Eun-soo and Do-kwon to meet even by chance. Their homes were far apart, and the difference in their company ranks was enormous.
But again, in the end, Eun-soo was the one to seek out Do-kwon first.
However, this time it really couldn’t be helped. It wasn’t his intention, and it was something that would have happened eventually.
Swallowing hard, Eun-soo approached Do-kwon with short, quick steps. Although the only people outside the door were Do-kwon’s closest aides, he felt it would be better to let him know. Furthermore, seeing how Secretary Jeong welcomed him, it seemed Do-kwon hadn’t revealed that he had broken up with him.
Whether Do-kwon hadn’t said it because he was too lazy or for some other reason, if Do-kwon had hidden it, Eun-soo had no desire to shout it from the rooftops.
“Um… I thought it would be better for you to know as soon as possible, so I came. I’m sorry for coming without contacting you first.”
“…”
“Mother knows. That we… became like this.”
At those words, Do-kwon’s eyebrows furrowed. His cold eyes were full of irritation. The fountain pen that had been hovering over the documents stopped. Feeling suddenly anxious, Eun-soo quickly added.
“You called me suddenly, so I couldn’t prepare an excuse. I didn’t mean to blame you, Do-kwon…”
Eun-soo trailed off. Then, Do-kwon let out a smirk.
“Are you sure?”
“Pardon?”
“I asked if you definitely didn’t blame me.”
“Yes.”
Eun-soo nodded concisely. It was an affirmation without a hint of hesitation. Because it was the truth. He hadn’t blamed Do-kwon in front of Myeong-hui at all.
Do-kwon rubbed his straight forehead with his index finger. Then, he stared intently at Eun-soo. It was a fierce gaze, like a detective conducting an interrogation.
“My mother must have asked why you broke up. What did you answer?”
“…”
“You probably couldn’t answer anything. Because you couldn’t say, ‘During my heat cycle, I mistook another Alpha for Do-kwon and rubbed my body against him in a hotel. Do-kwon saw it.’”
Eun-soo stopped breathing. It was the moment his own shame, which he hadn’t even fully acknowledged, was exposed to the world.
That was right. Eun-soo hadn’t mentioned the fundamental reason why he and Do-kwon had ended up like this, the very starting point.
Because the situation would become unfavorable for him. Because Myeong-hui would be disappointed in him. That was why he had intentionally remained silent.
Even though Eun-soo knew this, he hadn’t realized it. He had tried to ignore his own cowardice. But now that it was revealed in such detail, he felt as if he had been beaten soundly by Do-kwon’s words.
Was that why? Now… the events at that hotel truly felt like his own fault.
If only he hadn’t had dinner with Seong-heon that day, if only he hadn’t entered that hotel of all places, if only he had left the place a little earlier, if only he had kept his head straight despite the sudden heat cycle, if only he had noticed that the man was intentionally acting like Do-kwon, if only he had rejected that man more fiercely and run out of the hotel room…
The chain of hypotheticals finally reached: ‘Ah… I shouldn’t have been born an Omega,’ ‘Of all things, I was born an Omega,’ ‘If only I weren’t an Omega.’
“…”
Eun-soo’s face turned pale, devoid of any color. Suddenly, the world turned black. He felt as if he were stubbornly enduring in a place where he couldn’t stand, a place where he had no right to be.
It wasn’t a world he was meant to live in from the start. He should have realized it when his parents passed away. He should have cut his wrists more properly then. He should have swallowed more sleeping pills. He wondered if he had endured for too long without any sense.
The desire to die swallowed Eun-soo at a terrifying speed. Regardless of whether Do-kwon was in front of him, he felt like shoving his hand down his throat and ripping out his heart. He felt that if he did, this suffocating feeling, the sorrow, and the frustration would be relieved.
As Eun-soo stood blankly like someone whose soul had been stolen,
“I understand what you mean, so you can leave.”
Do-kwon gestured toward the door as if kicking Eun-soo out. His tone suggested that he was an eyesore and should get out immediately.
“…”
Eun-soo had no intention of enduring Do-kwon’s words, his gaze, and his cold displeasure. So, he quickly turned around and left. Secretary Jeong looked at him as if wondering why he was leaving so soon, but Eun-soo barely greeted him and quickly caught the elevator.
And as he repeatedly pressed the button for the 14th floor, a sharp pain suddenly pierced through his entire body.
“Ah…”
His stomach hurt.
Gripping the handle inside the elevator, Eun-soo staggered violently.
* * *
Myeong-hui stared intently at her handsome son. It was as if she were truly going to pierce him with her gaze. Do-kwon took the gaze calmly. He had no choice. Was he supposed to run away from Myeong-hui, or prostrate himself and beg for forgiveness?
Secretary Jeong, holding a tray, approached hesitantly, placed a teacup in front of Myeong-hui, and then circled the sofa to place one in front of Do-kwon. After bowing deeply, he hurriedly left the director’s office.
With not one, but two Dominant Alphas sitting there emitting an ominous atmosphere, even a Beta felt their breath hitch.
The moment Secretary Jeong closed the door with a click, Myeong-hui spoke.
“You broke up with Eun-soo.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“…It just happened.”
Do-kwon answered a beat late. It just happened. He had nothing else to say. Wouldn’t it be ridiculous to report every single detail of what had happened? Furthermore, if it were Myeong-hui, she would definitely take Eun-soo’s side. He had no desire to prolong the conversation.
Unlike the trembling Eun-soo, Do-kwon’s excessively calm demeanor made Myeong-hui clench her fist tightly.
“Are you even human? How could you think of breaking up with a pregnant child?”
“Pregnancy… that shouldn’t be such a big deal for an Omega.”
“…What?”
“You know. How easy pregnancy and abortion are for Omegas. These days, medical technology is so good that it doesn’t even strain the body…”
Myeong-hui suddenly threw the teacup in front of her straight at Do-kwon.
“You crazy bastard. How dare you say such a thing! And to Eun-soo, who is carrying your daughter!”
At the shout that echoed loudly through the director’s office, Do-kwon slowly closed and opened his eyes. Hot tea spilled across the table, but the heavy teacup collided directly with one side of Do-kwon’s forehead. The thin porcelain shattered with a crisp snap, deeply scratching Do-kwon’s skin.
Drip. Sticky blood flowed from the torn skin. Do-kwon wiped it away with a casual swipe of his hand.
Right. How could he possibly dare mention abortion to Eun-soo? If the child in Eun-soo’s womb were truly his, Do-kwon wouldn’t have been able to use such ‘daring’ language toward Eun-soo, just as Myeong-hui said.
But what was he to do when he wasn’t sure if the thing in that pretty belly was his daughter or some other Alpha’s? Wouldn’t it be a bigger problem if he blindly let the child be born only for a DNA test to reveal it wasn’t his? Furthermore, Eun-soo had already settled things with Seong-heon. Why should he bother?
Do-kwon looked indifferently at the blood staining his palm bright red.
If this was the price for casting Eun-soo aside, it was better than he thought. He was lucky it was just a teacup. If Myeong-hui had grabbed a nameplate, he would have gone straight to the emergency room. He had too much to do; that wouldn’t have worked. It was truly a relief that a wound like this would cause no issues in daily life as long as he put a bandage on it.
Wiping his bleeding forehead once more, Do-kwon looked at Myeong-hui.
“Surely you didn’t actually think I would marry an Omega and start a family, did you?”
“You… you…”
“You didn’t expect it. Not me getting married, nor me having children. That’s why you distributed shares and executive positions to Seong-heon hyung and various cousins, isn’t it? I don’t understand why you’re suddenly acting like this.”
“…”
“Well, perhaps I don’t understand because I’ve lost nearly four years of my memories.”
Do-kwon’s flat, toneless voice continued. Despite his head being torn open, he was excessively calm.
Myeong-hui ground her teeth. Every time she saw her son like this, it gave her the creeps. She hadn’t raised him this way. She had never wished for him to grow up like this.
Certainly, when he was a child, when he wore his school uniform, he had a certain cuteness to him. He smiled often and followed her around, calling out, “Mother, Mother.” Myeong-hui had adored Do-kwon just as much. Since Do-kwon was her only child, it was only natural to cherish him.
But she couldn’t understand how he had become like this. He sabotaged every blind date she painstakingly arranged, treated Omegas poorly, became blunt, and now he was at a sociopathic level of emotionlessness.
Then, about two years ago, Do-kwon met Eun-soo. When she heard that Do-kwon was interested in an Omega employee on the 14th floor, she thought it was just one of the countless baseless rumors floating around.
However, during a family dinner, he abruptly announced that he had found an Omega he liked, and she and Ki-ho were beyond shocked.
At the time, Myeong-hui thought it was just a passing fancy. She figured Do-kwon was simply feeling a rare interest in an Omega. She left it at that.
But every time they met, Do-kwon spoke of Eun-soo. Normally, he would have spent the entire day talking only about boring work.
He said Eun-soo was miraculously fair. That he smelled wonderful. That his eyes were truly large and clear. He mentioned that since Eun-soo graduated from a university in England, he spoke English with a distinct British accent and intonation, which he found cute.
Then, Myeong-hui saw him frown in worry because the anniversary of Eun-soo’s parents’ death was approaching, or saw him buy out an entire gallery because Eun-soo had recommended an artist. When she saw him smiling foolishly while dreaming of a future where he might have children and start a family with Eun-soo, she thought, Ah, my son has truly fallen in love.
The Eun-soo they met was a child so upright, lovely, and bright that one could immediately understand why Do-kwon was so obsessed with him.
And then, two years later. Eun-soo became pregnant. When Do-kwon burst into the family home without notice to announce that there was a child—that a child had been conceived between him and Eun-soo—the three of them, including Ki-ho, had hugged each other and jumped for joy.
But why. Why did it come to this? Why was Do-kwon sitting before her with a face like an emotionless demon?
Was it because of that freak car accident? Because a hole had formed in Do-kwon’s memory, and that hole happened to swallow Eun-soo, did it turn out like this?
As Myeong-hui pressed her hand to her throbbing forehead, Do-kwon spoke in a low voice.
“If the Chairwoman tells me to see him again, then yes. I can do that.”
“…”
“But even if you force us back together, what would change? I have no feelings for him.”
“…”
“I can just live as a show-window couple while catering to the Chairwoman’s whims, but wouldn’t Yoo Eun-soo be unable to endure it?”
“You…”
“You know it. That’s why you can’t bring yourself to tell me to see him right now, to marry him next month, and to raise Bomi together.”
Do-kwon stared at Myeong-hui with cold eyes. Just as Myeong-hui knew Do-kwon, Do-kwon knew Myeong-hui well. She possessed the power to do whatever she wanted, but she was a very cautious person when it came to using it.
She likely knew that forcing him and Eun-soo together would ultimately be poison for everyone—that he would wander outside and Eun-soo would wither away. Because she knew this, she had come all this way only to vent her anger without offering a solution.
As Do-kwon irritably wiped the blood that continued to flow, Myeong-hui called him with surprising tenderness.
“Do-kwon.”
“Yes.”
“What… what will you do if your memories return?”
Myeong-hui was truly worried. It felt as though Do-kwon was stubbornly walking a path from which there was no return.
Immediately after he lost his memory, she could overlook him being mean to Eun-soo for a short while. Not that it was for her to overlook, but that Eun-soo was capable of overlooking it. After that, they seemed to be getting along again, and Eun-soo’s complexion had improved quickly.
But now… it was as if the two of them were racing toward the edge of a cliff.
Eun-soo was being pushed toward the precipice by Do-kwon, but Do-kwon seemed unaware that by pushing Eun-soo, he was also drawing closer to the cliff himself.
Seeing Myeong-hui’s face full of worry, Do-kwon let out a small laugh.
“I don’t know. I wonder if anything would change… If I regret it, that will be my burden to bear.”
“…”
Do-kwon seemed entirely unaffected. He simply seemed to find the current situation very bothersome and tedious. From that sight, Myeong-hui realized that the relationship between her son and Eun-soo was completely over. She also realized that, as he said, forcing them together would benefit no one.
“If you’re finished, may I leave now? I have an important meeting. I can’t go covered in blood, so I think I need to wash up and change my clothes.”
Do-kwon pulled at the collar of his shirt with his index finger. The blood that had flowed down to his neck was soaking the collar.
“…”
Myeong-hui didn’t answer. Interpreting this as permission, Do-kwon stood up. Drops of his blood fell plip-plop onto the tea-strewn table.
Watching Do-kwon, who was becoming stained bright red, Myeong-hui bit her lip and then released it.
“Don’t think about harming the child in Eun-soo’s belly.”
“What… Yes. I’ll do that. But what do you plan to do? Adopt her as your granddaughter?”
“No. I don’t intend to interfere either.”
“…”
“Bomi is now… just Eun-soo’s child. Not your child, and not my granddaughter. We have no right to her.”
Myeong-hui spoke with an expression as if she had lost her entire country. Do-kwon, who was loosening his tie, paused.
‘No right,’ huh. It wasn’t a sentiment he particularly empathized with. The one without the right wasn’t him, but Eun-soo. What had he done wrong? Should he have accepted Eun-soo even after learning about his affair? Should he have forgiven the man who deceived him and told lies? Should he have raised a child—whose paternity wasn’t even certain—while playing house and pretending to know nothing?
Do-kwon couldn’t understand why Myeong-hui, who always calculated gains and losses with surgical precision, would say such a thing.
So, he didn’t give a particular answer. He simply took off his blood-soaked shirt, changed into a new one, and rehearsed the topic of his next meeting.
Secretary Jeong, who was dabbing Do-kwon’s torn forehead with a cotton swab, let out a sigh that seemed to sink the ground.
The broken teacup, Myeong-hui raging like a tiger, and Do-kwon’s torn forehead. His mind was reeling from the war that had broken out without warning. Secretary Jeong knew nothing about what was happening or how it had come to this.
To think he knew nothing about Do-kwon’s affairs. This was a first since he joined the company.
He had wondered why Eun-soo hadn’t been seen much lately. He had noticed that Do-kwon’s lips, which used to mention Eun-soo’s name every single day, had gone quiet.
He should have noticed sooner. Because Do-kwon had been working too—excessively—hard lately, he hadn’t had the leisure to pay attention to such things. Secretary Jeong let out another long sigh.
“Are you done?”
Regardless of his torn forehead, Do-kwon asked while looking at his tablet without so much as a frown.
Secretary Jeong shook his head. The grotesquely torn skin wasn’t something that could be treated with a simple first-aid kit.
“I don’t think a bandage will be enough. I think you should go to the hospital.”
“It’s fine. Meeting first.”
“…”
Fine. Have it your way. It’s a waste of a handsome face, but since the owner of the face wants to use it recklessly, I have no right to stop him. If reporters discover the wound, they’ll write all sorts of speculative articles, but since that’s my job to handle, he probably doesn’t care in the slightest.
Secretary Jeong continued the treatment, sighing incessantly as if he intended to sublimate all the air in his lungs into sighs. And the moment the tight bandage covered the straight forehead, Do-kwon stood up as if he had been waiting.
After rubbing his forehead once, he headed straight for the small dressing room in one corner of the director’s office. It was where spare clothes, ties, and simple shoes were stored.
Watching Do-kwon’s back as he moved busily, Secretary Jeong asked tentatively.
“Did something… happen with Team Leader Yoo?”
“It’s over.”
Do-kwon answered indifferently. Secretary Jeong gasped. Over? He and Eun-soo were over? Even though he heard it clearly from the person himself, he couldn’t believe it.
Secretary Jeong strode toward Do-kwon. Then, disregarding propriety, he fired a question as sharp as an arrowhead.
“Why? Why did you break up?”
“Secretary Jeong. I’ve heard that question far too many times today.”
“…”
Secretary Jeong narrowed his eyes. Strange. Was this a difficult question? The reason for a breakup didn’t need to be a long list like political views. ‘We fought. The love cooled. I liked someone else. Work became more important. I got tired of it.’ Those kinds of things. Common things. Weren’t there plenty?
But Do-kwon was avoiding the answer. That wasn’t a frequent occurrence.
Secretary Jeong stared intently at Do-kwon’s face reflected in the sleek air dresser. He wondered what Do-kwon was thinking. He tried to gauge what had happened between the two of them.
Yet, Do-kwon was eerily devoid of expression. He was excessively expressionless while mentioning the lover he had once loved so passionately.
“I just got tired of him. That’s how Omegas are.”
“…”
Secretary Jeong bit his lip. They were two people to whom adverbs like ‘just’ or verbs like ‘got tired of’ could not possibly apply.
After contemplating for a moment, Secretary Jeong stood close to Do-kwon.
“Um… Director.”
“Yeah.”
“There is something I need to tell you.”
“What is it?”
Do-kwon asked while skillfully tying his tie. His indifferent expression still held no interest. Secretary Jeong swallowed hard. Then, he began to bring up the stale past, the words he hadn’t been able to easily voice.
“Well… I’ve been wondering whether to tell you or not. But I think it’s better that I do. Two years ago, when you first met Team Leader Yoo. Actually, you to Team Leader Yoo…”
“Secretary Jeong.”
At that moment, Do-kwon cut him off in a low voice.
“Yes?”
“If it’s more talk about Yoo Eun-soo, I’m not particularly interested in hearing it.”
Do-kwon pushed his tie up to the top of his neck. He tidied his disheveled hair, gently lowered his swept-up bangs to hide the bandage, and irritably scratched away the dried blood on his temple.
Eun-soo was truly tenacious. Not that his personality was tenacious, but his very existence was.
Seong-heon, Myeong-hui, and even Secretary Jeong were on the verge of going crazy, constantly reciting Eun-soo’s name. He and Eun-soo were clearly over, so he couldn’t understand why everyone around him was making such a fuss.
Had they all been bewitched by Eun-soo? Or were they just frustrated with the current version of him?
He particularly disliked how they all kept mentioning two years ago. It felt as if they were looking for someone other than him, and a strange jealousy boiled up alongside a sense of deprivation.
Hadn’t Eun-soo been the same? That day. The day he had come to find him in the early hours of the dawn. The day they had spent all day entwined in a rut. The monologue Eun-soo had delivered to him—no, to another Seo Do-kwon—had been so heartbreaking.
The final kiss he had placed on his cheek was like that too. His memories of meeting Eun-soo were only two months long, but they had kissed countless times during that period. But that kind of kiss was a first.
It was a kiss that didn’t just contain affection, but overflowed with it. It was a kiss so full of love that he had the idiot thought that if he had slightly turned his head to meet those lips, Eun-soo’s soul might have passed into him.
But that kiss wasn’t for him. It was offered to the Seo Do-kwon who had dated him for two years.
It felt filthy. It felt as if he had become a shell for the other Seo Do-kwon.
Recalling that moment, Do-kwon’s eyes turned cold. He grit his teeth, his jaw tightening slightly, and his thick eyebrows slanted sharply. The pheromones of an enraged Alpha surged and poured out.
“…”
At this, Secretary Jeong instinctively took a step back. No matter how often he saw it, he couldn’t get used to an angry Do-kwon. It was terrifying. It was a fear of a different color than the terror one experiences from another human.
Still, Secretary Jeong did not run away. There was still a truckload of things to say, facts that Do-kwon needed to know.
“Um… besides that, there’s one more thing I need to tell you.”
“Is it work-related?”
“…No.”
“Then you may leave.”
Do-kwon coldly chased Secretary Jeong out. Secretary Jeong shifted his weight. However, he did not leave.
“…”
Do-kwon arched one eyebrow and looked back at Secretary Jeong. It was a silent warning. At that, Secretary Jeong had no choice but to bow his head and leave the director’s office.
Things, the situation, and time were continuing to tangle in an irreversible direction.
* * *
Clutching his stomach, Eun-soo buried his face into the pillow. He had felt a sharp abdominal pain upon leaving Do-kwon’s office, and that pain had persisted until night. It was a completely different feeling from the abdominal pain he had experienced until now.
“Bomi… what’s wrong… hm?”
Eun-soo patted his stomach with trembling hands. What is causing this? I took my suppressants. I did meet Do-kwon today, but that shouldn’t have caused my pheromone levels to spike. We weren’t even in very close proximity, and the meeting lasted less than five minutes.
But why is this happening? What is the reason? Why is it suddenly so painful…
Eun-soo glanced at the clock. It was already 2 AM.
At this rate, he was going to spend another night wide awake. Then tomorrow would be a mess, his biological rhythm would collapse, and he would spend the day wastefully, nodding off and barely eating.
He didn’t want that. Just how long did he have to suffer in pain?
Eun-soo staggered up and grabbed the suppressants on the nightstand. He had lived with them so much that he had reached the point of keeping them right in his bedroom.
Eun-soo flicked the lid open with his thumbnail. After taking out one pill, he hesitated for a moment.
“…”
How many had he taken today? He couldn’t remember. In fact, most of his memories from today were fragmented. Because the abdominal pain had continued since he met Do-kwon, he couldn’t remember well how he had handled his subsequent work, how the meetings went, or what the results were.
Where on earth was he leaving his mind?
“Ah… damn it…”
Eun-soo, who had almost let a curse slip, quickly shut his mouth. Then he glanced down at his stomach, checking the mood.
“Daddy’s sorry. I won’t use bad words.”
Whispering softly, Eun-soo popped the pill into his mouth. After swallowing it whole without chewing, he collapsed onto the bed.
I have to sleep. I have to sleep quickly.
With his eyes squeezed shut, Eun-soo urged and coaxed himself over and over again.
But even as 3 a.m. passed, and then 4 a.m., Eun-soo could not fall asleep. This was because the abdominal pain was growing increasingly severe. His entire body was damp with cold sweat. He shivered uncontrollably, and it felt as if his stomach were being ripped apart. He began to suspect that Bomi was inside him, dancing around with a utility knife.
“Ah… ugh…”
Eun-soo let out a frail moan. Eventually, unable to endure it any longer, he fumbled through the blankets to dig out his phone. The piercing light of the screen illuminated the dim bedroom.
With trembling thumbs, Eun-soo tapped three digits.
[1, 1, 9.]
Looking at those three numbers, Eun-soo let out a hollow laugh. He hadn’t expected the day he would call an ambulance for the second time in his life to come so soon. He didn’t know how things had come to this.
Blinking slowly, Eun-soo pressed the call button firmly. Then, he explained his condition as clearly as possible.
Afterward, like a veteran who had visited the emergency room twice, he packed his coat, wallet, underwear, phone charger, and even his laptop, before collapsing in front of the entrance. His vision was blurring, and he felt as if he might black out at any moment; fearing the paramedics would have a hard time, he left the front door wide open.
The cold wind characteristic of the hallway crawled into the warm house like a snake.
Feeling it with unfocused eyes, Eun-soo clutched his stomach and slid sideways, collapsing.
Before he even opened his eyes, Eun-soo realized he was lying in a hospital bed. The scratchy blankets, the sour smell of alcohol, and the moderately noisy atmosphere.
Since he had been visiting the hospital every month, and even every week since the car accident, all of this now felt as familiar as home.
Eun-soo let out a long sigh with his eyes closed. The abdominal pain was gone. Instead, his body felt heavy. The way the blankets brushing against his skin felt dull suggested that painkillers were diligently circulating through his system.
Eun-soo tossed and turned with a muffled groan. He had to get up. He had to check what time it was. There wasn’t much time left before he had to go to work. Just as those thoughts crossed his mind, someone adjusted the blanket over Eun-soo’s shoulder.
Startled, Eun-soo snapped his eyes open. The harsh fluorescent lights typical of hospitals stung his eyeballs. Beyond the light, he saw a blurry silhouette. Someone was sitting by the bedside. Eun-soo narrowed his eyes. Broad shoulders. Black hair.
“Do-kwon…?”
Eun-soo murmured softly. At that, the silhouette tilted slightly to one side before returning to its original position.
“Uh… I’m not Do-kwon.”
It was a familiar voice. A low tone, but not as low as Do-kwon’s—a softer voice. Eun-soo’s eyelids fluttered rapidly. His blurred vision gradually began to find its focus.
The owner of the silhouette was Seong-heon.
“Executive… Director?”
“Yes. It’s me.”
“How is the pain? Are you okay? A full pack of painkillers has gone in.” Seong-heon smiled thinly and tenderly brushed Eun-soo’s bangs aside. Eun-soo stared at him blankly. He must have mistaken him because their shoulders were both broad and their hairstyles were similar.
“How did the Executive Director get here…?”
Surprised by Seong-heon’s sudden appearance, Eun-soo clumsily pushed himself up. Seong-heon, his eyes widening, supported Eun-soo and laid him back down on the bed.
“Whoa, there’s no need to get up. You need more rest.”
Under the heavy pressure pushing him down, Eun-soo had no choice but to lie back. However, his gaze remained fixed on Seong-heon. Seong-heon was wearing a loose-fitting knit sweater and had his hair calmly pushed down. He looked completely different from how he appeared at the office. It looked as if he had rushed out of his house. But how did he know?
At Eun-soo’s questioning gaze, Seong-heon smiled faintly.
“When I visited you in the hospital back then, I left my name as your guardian. Since you were unconscious, they must have checked the records and contacted me. It’s a relief.”
“Ah…”
Eun-soo let out a small gasp. So that was it. Seong-heon’s name had been listed as the guardian. Since he had been completely unaware of it, he felt a strange sensation.
As Eun-soo, not yet fully grasping the situation, merely rolled his eyes, Seong-heon gently enveloped Eun-soo’s hand in his.
“Do you know how worried I was? You’ve barely been discharged, and you’re already back in the ER… Let’s move to a ward first. They say a single room is being prepared now. It’s taking longer than expected. I guess the staff are all busy since it’s morning. But you’ll be able to move soon.”
At those words, Eun-soo jerked his hand away from Seong-heon and bolted upright. Panic surged in his wide-open eyes.
“What time is it now?”
“Uh… 9 a.m. 9:31.”
Seong-heon answered, glancing at his wristwatch. At that, Eun-soo’s face turned pale.
“Uh, ah, I… I have to go to work.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve already processed your sick leave.”
“The Executive… the Executive Director did?”
“Yes. The Executive Director did. Because the Executive Director is the Executive Director, he can handle that sort of thing in a snap.”
Seong-heon spoke playfully as he neatly smoothed out the disheveled blanket. Eun-soo blinked his large eyes a few times, and then a small laugh escaped him.
“Thank you. I’m indebted to you again today.”
“Don’t mention it. There’s no need to call it a debt.”
At that, Eun-soo shook his head.
“It is a debt. Even for a close friend, is it an easy thing to come to the hospital in the middle of the night and handle company work on my behalf?”
“…Close friend?”
“Yes. Thank you so much. When I’m discharged, I’ll buy you a meal. Something expensive.”
Eun-soo spoke with strength in his voice, as if making a vow. But for some reason, Seong-heon’s expression didn’t look good. Just as Eun-soo was about to ask worriedly if something was wrong:
“Patient Yoo Eun-soo. Your room is ready. We’ll move you now.”
The nurse said, pulling back the curtain.
Eun-soo listened blankly to what the doctor was saying. The doctor, whose eyes were wrinkled and lips chapped, spoke without a single moment of rest for a long time. Not a single word of the torrent of information was good news.
Stress-induced gastritis, the risk of inflammation during pregnancy, an excessively prolonged pheromone shock, womb-sac contractions, nutritional imbalance, lack of sleep, flu-like symptoms, and because of all this, the fetus was also under immense stress and was dangerously motionless, risk of premature birth, and so on. They were countless.
Listening to it, he felt as if his sanity, reason, and soul were drifting away from the crown of his head like smoke.
As he left the consultation room, Eun-soo staggered frailly.
“Eun-soo!”
A startled Seong-heon quickly supported him. Gripping his forearm firmly, he slowly led him back to the ward.
Seong-heon had listened to the doctor’s words along with Eun-soo. Eun-soo had said he was fine alone, but because he had been uncharacteristically stubborn, Seong-heon had listened to the doctor’s opinion under the guise of being the guardian.
Thinking about it now, it was a relief. If it hadn’t been for Seong-heon, Eun-soo might have collapsed in the hallway and wailed loud enough to shake the world, without even knowing how embarrassing it was.
Upon entering the luxurious single room, Eun-soo clutched his stomach and cried for a long time. He cried sorrowfully, with all his might.
Seong-heon did not hastily offer words of comfort. He simply handed him tissues, filled a glass with water, occasionally stroked Eun-soo’s forearm, or let out a deep sigh at the thin body that was beginning to run a fever.
Eun-soo cried until his eyes were bloodshot. It was only when it became mealtime and the nurse knocked on the door saying the menu order hadn’t been placed that he hurriedly stopped his tears.
Seong-heon blocked the door with his broad shoulders, quickly ordered foods that would suit Eun-soo’s taste, and sent the nurse away.
Eun-soo lowered his head, sniffing and wiping away the remaining tears.
“I’m sorry, Executive Director. I’m a real sight, aren’t I?”
“No. Why would you say that?”
“Still… I can’t even take care of my body, and I’m just sobbing like a child… I know that, but the tears won’t stop, and it’s driving me crazy.”
Eun-soo crumpled the blanket tightly as if it were his sworn enemy. I’m an adult. I have a proper job and I’m an adult who is good at my work. But since getting pregnant, I’ve felt like I’ve been regressing every single day. Crying like a child, throwing tantrums, neglecting work—I don’t know what to do.
It felt as if he were just blankly watching the world slowly end.
Eun-soo bit his lower lip hard and then let go.
“It’s so, so unfair. I really tried… I tried to eat properly, I tried to sleep, but it just didn’t go the way I wanted…”
“Eun-soo…”
“I keep having nightmares. My parents dying, that man I met at the hotel appearing, Do-kwon leaving me behind—it just repeats. That’s why I can’t sleep.”
“…”
“I can’t even eat. If I force myself to eat, my stomach feels tight, and sometimes I feel like I’m suffocating.”
“…”
“The suppressants are the same. I know suppressants are bad for Bomi, but if I don’t take them, I’m in too much pain to even sit at the office, so I take them again…”
“…”
“Everything is just… just a complete mess.”
“…”
“Sometimes when I wake up from a nightmare in the early morning, I look out the window. I look and think, ‘Ah, if I jump out that window, maybe I can be born again. Maybe I can start over from the beginning. Maybe I can be born as someone whose parents didn’t die, meet a kind lover, and have Bomi again with a healthy body. Maybe Bomi would like that better.’ I think things like that.”
Thick tears fell plop-plop onto the blanket. Seong-heon, who had been listening quietly to Eun-soo’s monologue, frowned slightly. For some reason, it was uncomfortable to hear. Jumping out the window. What did that mean? Did it mean he wanted to die?
Just as Seong-heon opened his mouth to say, “Eun-soo,” Eun-soo looked up at him with bloodshot eyes.
“This, this is a very dangerous thought. There was a time in the past when I saw many psychiatrists, and they told me that if dying seemed easier, if I started thinking about the afterlife, if that seemed more wonderful, I must come back to the hospital immediately. But… I don’t have time for that.”
“…”
“No, I don’t want to. I hate hospitals, Executive Director. I really… hate them so much… But I keep coming back. To this terrible place, this place teeming with death and disease everywhere, I keep coming. As if this is where I belong…”
Eun-soo continued to mutter incessantly. His face, which had been flushed red from crying, gradually turned pale. His voice grew smaller, and his body became stiff.
Seong-heon’s eyes quickly scanned Eun-soo. Then he realized. Eun-soo wasn’t breathing.
Seong-heon grabbed both of Eun-soo’s elbows and forced him to look at him.
“Eun-soo. Wait. Breathe. Okay?”
“Ah…”
“Breathe. Now. Quickly.”
Seong-heon deliberately spoke in clipped words. Eun-soo’s empty eyes stared at Seong-heon. But he still wasn’t breathing.
“I said breathe. Yoo Eun-soo.”
Seong-heon repeated. Only then did Eun-soo’s lips part slightly. But it wasn’t effective. He just inhaled and kept inhaling, as if he were someone who had forgotten how to breathe.
“Damn it…”
Gritting his teeth, Seong-heon frantically hammered the emergency bell attached to the bedside. Soon, doctors and nurses rushed in. Eun-soo was fixed to the bed as if being restrained, and a respirator was placed over his small face. A new IV pierced the back of Eun-soo’s hand, and the doctor checked Eun-soo’s pupils with a penlight.
Seong-heon stepped back two paces and stared blankly at the chaos.
Then, he clenched his fist tight. Veins bulged over the back of his broad hand.
* * *
“I don’t want to.”
Eun-soo gave a firm refusal.
“Eun-soo. You have to.”
But Seong-heon didn’t back down and pressed Eun-soo. At that, Eun-soo pressed his lips together tightly.
“I said I don’t want to. I won’t do it.”
“Why don’t you want to?”
“Just… I just don’t.”
As if he wouldn’t say any more, Eun-soo snapped his head to the other side. His round head was full of stubbornness and obstinacy. Seong-heon rubbed his face tiredly. This was the first time Eun-soo had been this stubborn, so he couldn’t decide how to react.
Letting out a small sigh, Seong-heon sat on the edge of Eun-soo’s bed. Then, he spoke in the gentlest voice possible.
“Just ‘because’ isn’t a reason. You have to give me a reason I can understand for me to back off.”
“…”
Eun-soo gave no answer. In that silence, Seong-heon realized what was hidden behind the “just” that Eun-soo had mentioned.
Seong-heon rubbed the back of his hand with his thumb as if crushing it.
“Is it because of Seo Do-kwon?”
At those words, Eun-soo’s shoulders flinched.
“…No, it’s not.”
He answered a beat late. Seong-heon let out a hollow laugh. Although Eun-soo was much younger than him, he had never thought of him as a child. But today, he felt exceptionally young.
“Eun-soo.”
“…”
“It’s over between you and Seo Do-kwon. It’s fine now, no matter who you meet or how you meet them. So there’s no need to feel guilty about receiving treatment from an Alpha. No one is going to criticize you.”
After Eun-soo had collapsed from hyperventilation yesterday, Seong-heon had spoken at length with the doctor. He was told that while everything was a problem, the top priority for recovery was the pheromone shock. To treat it, periodic contact with an Alpha was necessary, but the patient—Eun-soo—had shown such extreme aversion to it that he hadn’t received treatment once.
They said that once the pheromone shock disappeared, his biological rhythm would return to normal, he could reduce the intake of suppressants—which were no different from poison—and then his metabolism would also improve.
That was why Seong-heon had been persuading Eun-soo all day. He had already decided on the Alpha who would have skinship with Eun-soo. A diligent and upright young man who frequently donated pheromones for such purposes.
Well, in truth, the “skinship” would only consist of sitting in a small space, holding hands, and sharing pheromones while hugging, but still. He couldn’t just bring any Alpha to touch Eun-soo.
But he hadn’t expected Eun-soo to refuse this much. Seong-heon was frustrated. He knew why Eun-soo was doing this, but he couldn’t understand why he was being stubborn when taking care of his body should be the top priority.
No, in truth, he still found it irritating that Seo Do-kwon was still lingering in his life.
“It’s just treatment. It’s the same as taking medicine, getting an injection, getting stitches, or having surgery.”
Seong-heon persuaded Eun-soo once more. At that, Eun-soo glanced back at Seong-heon.
“I know. I know, but… my heart is so uncomfortable… I’m frustrated with myself too…”
“You have to put Bomi first.”
“…”
“They say Bomi is in pain. They say you have to meet an Alpha so they won’t be in pain. There’s no time, Eun-soo. You have to treat it before you get sicker, before Bomi suffers more.”
“Ah…”
“How long are you going to just take suppressants? How long are you going to let Bomi be in pain? Why take the hard road when there’s an easy one? Who on earth are you doing this for? Are you afraid Seo Do-kwon, who doesn’t even care about you anymore, will be disappointed in you?”
The words were blunt and cruel. But it couldn’t be helped. If he could use Eun-soo’s guilt to get him to receive treatment, he was willing to pour out as many harsh words as necessary.
Seong-heon looked at Eun-soo without blinking. Eun-soo’s body was trembling.
To Eun-soo, every single syllable Seong-heon spat out felt like a massive bullet. Those bullets pierced his entire body. His arms were blown away, his side burst open, and his knees were shattered.
None of Seong-heon’s words were wrong. Even if he kept this pathetic stubbornness and guarded this even more pathetic chastity, Do-kwon wouldn’t have a shred of interest. He wouldn’t even acknowledge it.
What was he maintaining this stupid blindness for? Had he been unconsciously thinking that perhaps, in the distant future, Do-kwon might return to him? Who knew when that future would come? No, it might never come in his entire life.
Eun-soo looked down at his bulging stomach.
Bomi. My beautiful daughter. My only family.
Yes, Bomi came first. Instead of worrying about Do-kwon, who didn’t care about him, it was ten times—no, a hundred times—more important that Bomi wasn’t in pain and wasn’t suffering.
Eun-soo took a deep breath. Then, he stared at Seong-heon with determined eyes.
“I’ll do it. The treatment.”
At those words, the corners of Seong-heon’s mouth curved into a deep arc.
The treatment was so bland it was almost anticlimactic compared to the worry. One side of the treatment room was entirely glass, and Seong-heon and the doctor were watching from the outside. Inside the room, a single wide sofa sat alone, and pads to measure pheromone changes were attached to various parts of Eun-soo’s body.
The Alpha who came to share pheromones with Eun-soo was a man. He looked like a college student and seemed very accustomed to this kind of work. When Eun-soo offered an awkward greeting, the Alpha gave a bright smile and said he looked forward to working with him.
“…….”
“…….”
Silence fell. Holding the Alpha’s hand, Eun-soo stared blankly ahead—or more accurately, at Seong-heon beyond the glass. In this place where everything was unfamiliar, Seong-heon was the only thing he knew.
Then, pheromones began to seep slowly from the Alpha. Eun-soo’s shoulders flinched. At that, the Alpha slid closer and sat right next to him. Eun-soo instinctively leaned his upper body back, but the Alpha pulled his hand with a firm grip.
“We should get this over with quickly.”
“Ah…… yes…….”
Eun-soo bit his lip and nodded. The Alpha gazed quietly at Eun-soo’s profile. Then, out of nowhere, he began to pour out a one-sided conversation.
“This is for volunteer hours.”
“Pardon?”
“To graduate from college, you have to fill a certain number of volunteer hours. It varies by school, but it’s usually forty or sixty hours.”
“Ah…… volunteer hours…….”
“The school decides what kinds of volunteering are allowed, but it’s all over the place. Some are hard, some are easy; some you can finish in three or four days during break, and some require you to come every day once a week.”
“I see…….”
Eun-soo nodded without much emotion. He didn’t know why the Alpha was telling him this, but it was better than being buried in an awkward silence.
“The university I attend is near here. It’s just one stop away by subway.”
“Yes…….”
“And sharing pheromones like this takes about ten minutes, right? But they give you a full hour of volunteer credit.”
“Wow…… a whole hour?”
“Yeah. It’s a total sweet deal, right? That’s why the competition is fierce, but that gentleman over there chose me because he said my grades were good.”
The Alpha gestured with his chin toward Seong-heon beyond the glass. Eun-soo blinked at those words. Then, he let out a little giggle. Who selects someone for pheromone-sharing volunteer work based on their grades? It was such a strange thing, but then he realized that, in Seong-heon’s own way, that must have been the best approach, and he understood.
Eun-soo continued to exchange various stories with the Alpha after that. For the most part, the Alpha started the conversations, and he was the one to end them as well.
The Alpha wasn’t bad. He was affable, his pheromones were moderately soft, and the hand he held was large and warm. He was the kind of person who naturally made one think he must be popular at school.
Soon, the treatment ended. The Alpha bowed his waist.
“Thank you for your hard work. I hope you get well soon.”
“Yes. Thank you.”
Eun-soo returned the slight bow. The Alpha disappeared without looking back, following the nurse who offered to sign his volunteer chart.
“How was it?”
Seong-heon quickly approached Eun-soo. Eun-soo wore a faint smile.
“It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t unpleasant. I think I’d be okay doing it again.”
“Good job. Really, good job.”
Seong-heon stroked Eun-soo’s hair as if he were proud of him. Eun-soo felt a sense of fulfillment at the touch. It felt like being praised. He didn’t know how long it had been since he’d received this kind of touch, this kind of tenderness.
The doctor showed him a chart where the pheromones had begun to trend downward and recommended that he receive treatment whenever he had time. Eun-soo nodded. It wasn’t a difficult task. Now that he’d done it once, he felt he could do it as often as needed. Perhaps it was just his imagination, but he felt as though his body had already become lighter.
And the next morning, Eun-soo received permission to be discharged.
Eun-soo excitedly packed his things. He’d rest just until today and make sure to go to work tomorrow. He’d go home and give the place a thorough vacuuming. He’d take a leisurely shower with hot water and order jajangmyeon while watching TV.
He even made such cute little plans.
As Eun-soo was finishing his packing, nodding to himself for no particular reason, Seong-heon returned after saying he would have a brief word with the doctor.
“Is it really okay for me to be discharged?”
Eun-soo asked, his eyes wide. Seong-heon smiled and nodded.
“Yes. On the condition that you receive pheromone treatment at least twice a week.”
“Aww……. I can manage that much.”
Eun-soo said playfully, scrunching his nose. For the first time in a very long while, Eun-soo was in a good mood. He really…… didn’t know how long it had been since he could describe his mood as ‘good.’
Seong-heon gazed at Eun-soo. Then, the moment Eun-soo finished gathering his few belongings, he spoke tentatively.
“Um…… Eun-soo.”
“Yes?”
“If you’re okay with it, how about staying at my house after you’re discharged?”
“……What?”
“Come to my house. Wouldn’t it be better to have someone by your side to take care of you rather than being alone?”
Eun-soo blinked rapidly. It was difficult to immediately grasp what Seong-heon was saying. Did ‘my house’ refer to Seong-heon’s own home? He wanted him to go there? Why? To take care of him?
As Eun-soo’s eyes clouded with confusion, Seong-heon hurriedly added more.
“I’m worried you might collapse again. You said you have nightmares, and that you have bad thoughts while looking out the window…….”
“Ah……. I’m okay. I’m really okay now.”
“…….”
“Those nightmares, it’s not like I’ve only had them once or twice; I’ll adapt quickly. And those, those bad thoughts—I can stop having them now.”
Even as he spoke, Eun-soo thought he sounded completely unconvincing. It wasn’t as if those things happened according to his will. After everything had gone wrong regardless of his intentions, leading him all the way here, it was truly a pathetic thing to say.
Sure enough, Seong-heon’s brow furrowed in disapproval. Eun-soo spoke again.
“I’m really okay. I won’t have any reason to come back to the emergency room. You don’t have to worry.”
Considering how much he already owed Seong-heon, he couldn’t afford to owe him any more. As Eun-soo, having repeatedly insisted he was fine, picked up his luggage, Seong-heon looked at him with a somewhat skewed gaze.
“Aren’t you being a bit too confident?”
“Pardon?”
“What if something happens? What if Bomi dies?”
“What…… what are you talking about?”
Eun-soo’s face turned pale.
‘If Bomi dies.’ He had anticipated it countless times, but he had never dared to voice it. To think that Seong-heon would say such a thing. Just imagining it for a moment sent shivers down his spine. How could he say that with such a cold face…….
As Eun-soo instinctively stepped backward, Seong-heon roughly seized both of Eun-soo’s wrists. Then, he spoke as if shouting.
“We have to save Bomi. We’ve come all this way; if something like this happens again, it might be irreversible.”
“…….”
Eun-soo took a deep breath. He wasn’t wrong.
They had come all this way. If something like this happened again. If he had nightmares, chewed up suppressants, and craved death while staring out the window. If his health worsened. Something truly terrible might happen. At that point, not only Bomi’s but his own life would be on the line.
The fingertips of the hand Seong-heon held trembled violently. Seeing this, Seong-heon took the opportunity to shake Eun-soo’s resolve with his words.
“You might sleep better if your environment changes. Your house is stained with too many memories. That’s probably why you’re having nightmares. If the house and the bed change, and if you sleep in a place without a window, don’t you think you’ll be okay?”
“Ah…….”
“I’ll be by your side. I’ll look after you if you’re sick and make sure you take your medicine. My house is close to the company, so commuting will be easier too.”
“…….”
“You can’t commute by subway until you’re full-term. Aside from the discomfort, it’s dangerous. There are so many stairs in the subway, so many people—what if you get pushed and fall?”
It was an exhaustive persuasion. It was also a persuasion without a single exaggeration. Every scene he described played vividly in Eun-soo’s mind. The crowds filling the subway. His stomach being pressed. People bumping into him as he climbed the stairs slowly because he was full-term. And then, him falling backward.
Eun-soo gnawed on his lip. What should he do? What should he say? He felt too shameless to accept. As he groaned in contemplation, Seong-heon gently pulled Eun-soo’s wrist.
“Let’s go. I’m doing this because I’m anxious.”
At words filled with heartfelt worry, Eun-soo reluctantly nodded. The corners of Seong-heon’s mouth curved into a wide arc.