#195

“Ki-beom, I have something to tell you.”

Lee Seon-jae whispered softly.

“What is it?”

The the man asked casually. He was slightly drowsy.

“It’s just that, I’m not the person you know.”

“Yes.”

“Hey, not ‘yes’ like that.”

“Yes?”

“Yeah, that’s it.”

The the man turned his head to look at Seon-jae. A smile spread across his face, as if he thought Seon-jae was joking.

Seon-jae stared intently at the man and then opened his mouth.

“Actually, I’m Lee Seon-jae, not Kim Tae-heun.”

He said his name first, just like he had rehearsed in his head.

“The age is the same. The birthday is the same, but anyway, Kim Tae-heun isn’t my real name.”

“Did you change your name?”

The the man asked innocently. Seon-jae burst into laughter. He couldn’t resist the Man’s loveliness, so he kissed him on the cheek.

“Yeah. I changed it. But it’s not like I wanted to. No, I did want to, but…”

Was it thanks to the Man?

Seon-jae was able to tell his story surprisingly easily.

He was born as Kim Ji-yoon and became Lee Seon-jae, and had lived as Lee Seon-jae ever since. He told him how he had no choice but to become Lee Seon-jae, his miserable life where he wasn’t loved by his parents, and the stories he was ashamed to tell others, frankly. Of course, including what he had done.

The the man never interrupted Seon-jae’s story once. He just listened quietly. Without any comfort or pity, he silently listened to Seon-jae’s past.

At the Man’s attitude, Seon-jae despised his own stupidity for not confessing sooner, and at the same time, he was relieved that he had finally told him.

“It’s not that I was trying to lie. My existence itself was a secret, so I was trying to protect it. Of course, after I fell in love with you, I didn’t say anything on purpose because I wanted to look good to you. Honestly, would you have liked me if I told you I was a bad guy working for the mafia? Even if Detective Oh asked you to, you wouldn’t have accepted me if you knew I was a gangster, right? Especially with the child. I couldn’t bring myself to say it because I thought that. And I liked being Kim Tae-heun too. The name was hard to get used to, but I was really happy with the small things like farming, eating, and sleeping with you. When I imagined staying by your side for the rest of my life, farming together, roasting sweet potatoes in the winter, planting rice in the spring, and picking wild greens, I wanted to keep living.”

Seon-jae truly wanted to live after meeting the Man.

However, he couldn’t bring himself to say that the reason he chose the name Kim Tae-heun was to die. No, he didn’t say it. He saved it because there was a more important story left.

“Um, Prosecutor Jeong Jae-jin is also someone I know. He’s the one who made me Kim Tae-heun.”

“Ah.”

The Man, who had been silent until now, let out a short exclamation.

Then, he said, ‘I haven’t had a chance to thank the Prosecutor.’

“I’m grateful that he came all the way to tell me about Yong-jun, and I’m so thankful that he introduced me to such a good person like Hyung.”

“You can thank him. There’s plenty of time. I know his contact information.”

Seon-jae replied, gathering the courage to bring up the most difficult topic.

“Ki-beom, um, Prosecutor Jeong…”

But he couldn’t bring himself to say it.

Then, it occurred to him that Lee Seok-doo came before Kwon Yong-joon. He tried to postpone talking about Kwon Yong-joon even a little bit, so he used his head. No, is it Park Dong-Hee first?

“No. I think I should start by telling you why we left Dongjam-ri. I said a little while ago, right? That there are people chasing me. That’s why I became Kim Tae-heun.”

“Yes.”

“But my identity was exposed. Do you remember Team Leader Park?”

“Ah. Yes. He used to come to the house sometimes…”

“Yeah. That person is also a detective. A detective who works with Detective Oh. Anyway, that detective messed something up, and the fact that I was hiding was exposed. To Nam Ji-hoon.”

As soon as Nam Ji-hoon’s name came up, the man was startled and said, ‘Yes?’ Then he asked, ‘Was it that day? The motorcycle thing?’

Seon-jae nodded.

“You know roughly what Nam Ji-hoon does, right?”

“…Yes.”

“My stepfather put a bounty on me. A huge bounty. It seems Nam Ji-hoon found out about that and went to his boss and my stepfather. Of course, he told them I was here.”

The Man’s eyes widened, and he sighed. So that’s what happened, he thought.

“Fortunately, Prosecutor Jeong found out about it in time. That’s why he came to find me.”

“Ah, yes.”

The the man easily accepted it. The the man didn’t seem to remember anything Prosecutor Jeong had said to him when he visited the house that day. Seon-jae sighed softly and finally brought up the most important thing.

“Prosecutor Jeong came because of me, not because of Kwon Yong-joon. The reason we left Dongjam-ri is also because of me. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

The the man nodded with a blank expression.

“The reason you and I left the house wasn’t because of Yong-joon, but because of me.”

Seon-jae pointed it out again.

Only then did the man say, ‘Ah,’ and then, ‘Yes?’ with wide eyes.

His eyes were full of questions as he looked at Seon-jae. Then he rolled his eyes and said, ‘No.’

“No. It wasn’t because of you, it was because Yong-joon called me. Me. You answered instead, right? Did you forget?”

“No. That story about Yong-joon, it was a lie.”

“Yes?”

The the man frowned.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Yong-joon lied? What lie?”

“No, Yong-joon never called you. That’s the lie.”

“You answered. The Prosecutor said so too.”

The the man argued that the Prosecutor wouldn’t lie. Then, as if he was uncomfortable talking while lying down, he tried to get up.

“Wait. I’ll help you sit up.”

Seon-jae said, getting up first, and then carefully hugged the Man’s upper body and helped him sit up. He didn’t forget to put a pillow behind his back so he could lean comfortably against the bed.

Then, he knelt down in front of the man and sat facing him.

“Ki-beom, Prosecutor Jeong is the one who made me Kim Tae-heun. He also has a duty to send me to a safe place before my stepfather finds me.”

He explained again slowly.

“That day, I insisted that I wouldn’t go anywhere without you. So Prosecutor Jeong came up with a trick. Of course, I gave him the idea. You were so active in Yong-joon’s case that I thought I’d try it out, but you fell for it right away. You fell for it so easily that it was upsetting.”

Seon-jae wondered what he had to be upset about, but he still told him about how he felt disappointed when he saw the man going to find Kwon Yong-joon without any suspicion.

The Man’s breathing became rough. Wrinkles formed around his eyes, and his brow furrowed. He seemed to be replaying the story Seon-jae had just told him in his head, one by one.

Seon-jae didn’t say anything more. He let the man take his time to think. Still kneeling in front of the Man.

After a long silence, the man suddenly got off the bed. As a result, the IV needle in the Man’s arm was pulled out, and the IV fluid splashed up. Seon-jae was surprised and quickly got up.

“I’m going to get some air.”

The the man said coldly.

“Ki-beom.”

“Don’t follow me.”

“Ki-beom, where are you going alone?”

“Don’t follow me!”

The the man shouted and strode out of the hospital room. Yong, who was sitting on a chair outside the hospital room, looked up at the Man.

“Yong! Follow him!”

Seon-jae shouted, but Yong didn’t budge.

“Shit.”

Seon-jae hurriedly got out of bed and followed the Man. Then Yong moved too.

The the man turned around and said, ‘Don’t come! Please!’ but neither Seon-jae nor Yong stopped. Then the man stopped and turned around abruptly and asked.

“Then what about Yong-joon? What happened to Yong-joon?”

His eyes were full of anger.

“I don’t know either. Prosecutor Jeong probably doesn’t know either.”

Seon-jae replied gloomily.

Saying it out loud made it feel even more irresponsible.

“Is he alive or dead?”

Seon-jae shook his head.

“I don’t know. That too. I didn’t ask anything.”

The the man looked at him in disbelief. After staring at him for a long time, the man shouted.

“Why, why? Why did you do that?”

He was seething with anger. He clenched his fists tightly.

“Because I thought it was the best thing to do at the time. Actually, I was sure that if I told you the truth, you would never have followed me.”

“Why were you so sure?”

He asked accusingly.

“Ji-hye. You have Ji-hye.”

Seon-jae answered readily.

“How can I beat Ji-hye? I couldn’t even beat Yong-joon.”

Seon-jae frowned as he said this.

The moment he said he couldn’t even beat Kwon Yong-joon, he felt heartbroken as if he was an insignificant existence to the Man. He knew that the man didn’t like Kwon Yong-joon like him, as a lover, but it was clear that he was someone precious to the Man. He was afraid that he hadn’t become that precious yet.

The Man’s pupils trembled.

“You’re really selfish.”

The the man said with a sigh.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You only think about yourself.”

“……”

“Why do you make assumptions and draw conclusions as you please without even asking me? I have thoughts too.”

His tone became increasingly rough.

“I’m sorry. Really.”

“I have thoughts too. I have feelings, I do!”

He finally shouted like that.

He looked like he had more to say, but the man closed his mouth. Then he turned and walked away. He walked out of the hospital as if he had somewhere to go. Seon-jae followed him, and Yong followed Seon-jae.

“Everyone’s like that. Everyone treats me like I’m an idiot, they don’t treat me like a person. You too, you think I’m some kind of fool.”

The the man muttered to himself.

“I have thoughts, I have feelings. It’s been like this since a long time ago. No one ever asks for my opinion, they just do what they want.”

The the man lamented.

He lowered his head and tapped the floor with his slippered feet.

“No one ever asks for my opinion. No one.”

The Man’s voice trembled as he repeated what he had said a little while ago. Seon-jae felt sorry for the Man’s hunched back.

Seon-jae knew the Man’s words better than anyone. He had gone through the same thing, but he was doing the same thing to the Man. That’s why he was even more sorry. He hadn’t learned anything from those experiences, and he was ashamed that he had disappointed the Man.

The the man wandered around outside the hospital for a long time. He got angry on his own several times as if he couldn’t sort out his feelings, muttered incomprehensible words, and often looked up at the sky. Seon-jae just followed the Man. He had nothing to say even if he had ten mouths, so he just followed silently.

“Let’s go. It’s late.”

The Man, who had been wandering around for about an hour, turned around and said.

The the man looked sad. And he looked resigned.

Seon-jae was sad to see the man not even getting angry at him. He would have felt better if he had punched him or cursed at him. Then he hated himself for thinking that. Even in this situation, he wanted the man to do something for his own good, just to make himself feel better.

Shit. Shit. Seon-jae cursed repeatedly in his mind.

The the man walked ahead. He dragged his slippered feet as he walked.

Seon-jae watched Man’s retreating figure before quickly moving to stand beside him.

“Let’s go together.”

He hoped the man wouldn’t despise him as they walked side by side.

Yong, as always, stood behind them.

The three men’s shadows stretched long in the night.

196 – Chapter Title Without Number