#69

Detective Park, moderately tipsy, nodded towards Detective Oh. Detective Oh called the women over without hesitation. Under the madam’s guidance, three scantily clad women entered. As Detective Oh had said, they were quite something. It was needless to say that Detective Park’s mouth was hanging open in delight.

“I had a word with them to take care of you.”

Detective Oh said to Tae-heun with a smug look, giving a thumbs up to the madam.

Detective Oh paired the youngest and prettiest lady with Tae-heun. The lady, introducing herself as Rose, moved in close, ready to sit on Tae-heun’s lap.

“Wow, your mouth is going to split open. Is it that good?”

“Oh, come on, oppa. Of course, it’s good. Even movie stars would cry over it, wouldn’t they?”

Detective Oh’s partner, who looked at least five or six years older, answered in her stead.

Tae-heun raised his glass towards the women and downed his liquor. Rose, with a sultry gesture, began to caress Tae-heun’s thigh, her eyes widening in surprise. She exclaimed, “Oh my!” repeatedly. At Rose’s commotion, the other women turned to look at Tae-heun simultaneously. Rose gestured towards the inside of Tae-heun’s left thigh.

Detective Oh, who already knew about Tae-heun’s endowment, merely chuckled, while Detective Park, not understanding what was happening, craned his neck to look.

“Hey, what are you staring at?”

At Detective Oh’s reprimand, Detective Park finally realized and quickly averted his gaze. A complaint about the unfairness of the world slipped from Detective Park’s lips.

Tae-heun’s partner was gentle and alluring. He particularly liked her ample breasts and buttocks, which contrasted with her slender frame. She was his ideal type. However, he was not aroused.

Unaware that Tae-heun was completely uninterested, the woman boldly began to make advances. She openly fondled his genitals and brought his hand to her breast, whispering for him to touch her. Tae-heun looked at her. The woman smiled with her eyes sparkling.

She was pretty. But it wouldn’t work.

Maintaining a semblance of politeness, he pushed her hand away.

The woman, thinking it was a kind of game, embraced Tae-heun. Her hot breath tickled his ear. Tae-heun gently hugged her back while scanning the room.

Detective Park, who had said that he would tremble like a aspen tree at the sight of women, was now shamelessly groping his partner’s breasts and kissing her. It wasn’t even funny. The breasts he was touching weren’t those of a woman; they might as well have been his mother’s. He swallowed a scoff along with his drink.

And what about Detective Oh? The down-to-earth and reliable veteran detective had vanished, leaving behind a pitiful middle-aged man desperately trying to satisfy his lust.

Cheers. He silently shouted, patting his partner’s back.

Tae-heun liked the atmosphere of the room salon. The reason was that he could witness such scenes. Regardless of status, all the men gathered in this special space were beasts. They laughed and chatted, fully revealing their weaknesses to potential enemies while indulging in their instincts. Watching this, Tae-heun felt relieved. These noble gentlemen were no different from him; they were just ordinary humans, and he found joy in that.

To Tae-heun, who had personally experienced all sorts of sordid acts under the title of Strategic Director at Ilgwang Financial, the two detectives seemed almost polite in comparison. It felt so mundane that it bordered on boring. Yet, he couldn’t bear to look at it. Instead of being enjoyable, it was unpleasant, as if he had seen something he shouldn’t have.

It might have been partly because he was unable to get aroused, but perhaps it was also because he had witnessed the unwanted side of the two detectives he had grown fond of.

You’ve become quite weak, Kim Tae-heun.

He smiled bitterly.

As the atmosphere grew more intense, Tae-heun became restless, wanting to go home. While lost in thought, he quickly pulled his hand out from between Rose’s thighs. His movement was so abrupt that the woman was taken aback. But soon, she grabbed his hand again and pulled it back to her groin. The lace panties caught on his fingertips.

I want to. But I don’t want to.

Tae-heun’s body and mind were at odds. His body desperately craved to play, but his heart wanted to return to the man. After all, he couldn’t even get hard.

Was there really a need to waste time?

After pushing Rose’s hand away, Tae-heun abruptly stood up.

“Detective Oh, Detective Park. I’ll be heading out first.”

Detective Park, who was practically on top of his partner, didn’t even hear Tae-heun’s words, and Detective Oh barely came to his senses and asked, “Why are you leaving so soon?”

“Is it not to your liking? Should I ask for a change?”

At Detective Oh’s question, Rose crossed her arms with a look of disbelief. She pouted, making it clear she was upset.

“Of course not. I like it very much.”

“But why then?”

To Detective Oh’s puzzled face, Tae-heun simply smiled.

“Please enjoy yourselves to the fullest on my behalf.”

He acted as if he were the one hosting. Detective Oh, stammering, tried to stand up, but Tae-heun managed to leave the room.

“Oppa! Are you really leaving?”

Whether it was Detective Oh’s order or not, Rose rushed back and clung to Tae-heun’s arm. She sniffled, asking why he was leaving so soon, sounding forlorn.

“I’m sad too. If I had just stayed a little longer, I would have been with you. I mean it.”

Not wanting to leave without a word, he gave her a quick peck on the forehead and gently pushed her away. The woman, wearing high heels, stumbled back.

“Ugh, damn it. You impotent bastard. What a waste of looks!”

The woman spat out curses. The way she looked up and rolled her eyes seemed genuinely frustrated.

Tae-heun smiled at her. The woman raised her middle finger energetically before turning around and disappearing down the long corridor, as if she had no intention of giving Detective Oh or Detective Park a chance.

“She’s my type.”

If he weren’t a man, he might have considered dating a woman like Rose. Lost in such frivolous thoughts, he glanced at the room where Kwon Yong-jun’s group had entered.

They were friends he had known since middle school.

It was something Tae-heun lacked. Did the men have classmates like them, who were inseparable? Again, he thought of men. Everything he saw, heard, and felt unconsciously flowed from himself to men. Shaking his head, he ascended to the ground.

The midday heat was nothing compared to the cool air. The street lined with entertainment establishments had far more closed shops than open ones. Checking his watch, he realized it was well past midnight.

Damn it. Cursing, he dashed to the chicken shop he had visited earlier. Since it also sold alcohol, he hoped it might still be open, but the shop door was firmly shut. He had intended to buy some for the man, but that was out of the question. If only he had come 40 minutes earlier, he could have bought the chicken. He could have used that as an excuse to wake the man and share a beer together.

He had lost track of time, getting lost in the touch of a young woman after a long time, and now it was too late. Not that he could even get hard anyway. Damn it. Blaming himself, he weakly turned away.

Suddenly, the world spun in front of him. It was understandable, given that he had drunk strong liquor and then run. He gasped for breath and looked up at the sky. There were an absurd number of stars.

It felt empty. He wanted to sink into the ground like this. Was he feeling this way just because he couldn’t buy that damn chicken? A hollow laugh escaped him. The man hadn’t even asked him to bring it. Yet, he spiraled into the absurd conclusion that if he couldn’t bring the chicken, the man wouldn’t like him.

Damn it. Impotent bastard.

Among the curses the woman had thrown, the term “impotent bastard” resonated with him.

“I don’t just stand for anyone. Got it? From now on, I’ll only stand for you.”

Muttering like a madman, he walked in search of a place to catch a taxi. The taxis that usually came when called were nowhere to be seen. With no other choice, he entered an open bar to ask for a call taxi number.

As he was about to input the number into his phone, he spotted a sign that read “Mansu Taxi.” It was just a small shack and an empty lot, but it was a taxi company nonetheless, and the office lights were on. Fortunately, there was a taxi in operation, and he hopped in.

The taxi drove along the familiar winding road, arriving in front of the man’s house just before 3 AM. As he got out of the car, a dark figure sitting in front of the wall stood up. It was the man. The man, who should have been asleep, was waiting for Tae-heun for some reason.

The momentary joy faded, and his heart sank.

“Is something wrong?”

Tae-heun rushed over to the man and asked anxiously, grabbing his arms and checking him for any injuries.

“I… woke up a bit early.”

The man replied in a hoarse voice.

“Really? There’s really nothing wrong, right?”

Tae-heun met the man’s gaze. The darkness was still deep, but they were close enough to read each other’s expressions. The man was smiling.

“Yes. Nothing happened. How about you, Tae-heun?”

“Me? Of course, nothing happened.”

Tae-heun replied with a smile.

He felt a great sense of relief. Still, just to be sure, he ran his hands over the man’s limbs. He lifted his shirt, worried that someone might have hit him in a place that wasn’t visible. The man barely stopped him from pulling down his pants. The man, who must have turned red up to his neck, removed Tae-heun’s hand from his waistband.

Feeling awkward for no reason, Tae-heun brought up yesterday’s conversation.

“Why did you leave without saying anything?”

“Huh?”

“About Detective Oh’s car.”

“Oh, I thought he would be working.”

The man said casually.

“Did you walk?”

“No. Mr. Bae followed me on his motorcycle, so I rode with him.”

“That’s a relief. I was worried about what would happen if you had to walk in the blazing sun.”

The man lowered his head without responding. He scratched the dirt with his slippers.

“Why didn’t you take a nap?”

The man looked up.

“I wasn’t at the youth association office.”

“Oh, I see.”

He was consistently unresponsive. While some were anxious and restless, the man remained calm.

“Where did you go instead of taking a nap?”

“I… helped Mr. Bae plow his field. It was the day after it rained, so it was a good time for plastic mulching.”

“You didn’t even have lunch?”

“I did.”

“So you had lunch with that Mr. Bae who gave you a ride on the motorcycle and worked together, right? And then?”

The man rolled his eyes, lost in thought, and his lips twitched. That was all. No other words came out. He simply looked at Tae-heun as if questioning why he was asking such things.

“I can be a bit persistent.”

At Tae-heun’s words, the man nodded, oblivious.

What should he do with this man?

Tae-heun smiled slightly and playfully nudged the man’s slippers.

“Did Ji-hye look for me?”

“She did.”

The man pulled his slippers back.

“She must have been really upset that you didn’t come in without saying anything, right?”

“Yes.”

“What about Ki-beom? Was he upset?”

Tae-heun looked into the man’s dark, deep eyes.

“…He was worried.”

The man said this while nodding towards the house.

“You should go in now.”

He tried hard to hide his embarrassment by avoiding eye contact. He turned his body.

Tae-heun felt like he was walking on clouds at the man’s words that he had been worried about him. He grinned like a madman, thinking, “He was worried about me. Ki-beom was worried about me.” He blocked the man who was about to enter the house.

“Don’t go just yet. Stay here for a moment. Just the two of us.”

Tae-heun slowly pushed the man towards the wall.

Pushed by Tae-heun’s strength, the man had no choice but to step back. The man was momentarily flustered, but soon found himself close to the wall. He leaned against the wall, which was much taller than him, and Tae-heun stood in front of him again. The man’s Adam’s apple moved prominently.

“I can smell alcohol.”

The man said.

“Detective Oh took me to a nice place.”

Knowing full well where that was, the man didn’t ask. Instead, his head dropped, and he scratched the dirt floor with his slippers. The man, who was clumsy at expressing emotions, was showing disappointment in his own way. That’s how it appeared to Tae-heun, and he smiled involuntarily, worried that there might be no reaction at all.

“But I didn’t feel good. So I left first. I had a bit to drink.”

The man nodded lightly without answering. The slippers that had been tapping on the floor came to a stop. It was truly honest. Rather than seeming easy, it felt difficult, and there was even a sense of awe. This was especially true because he was a rare person in the world that Tae-heun lived in.

The man lifted his head. The wind blew. A faint smell of cigarettes wafted from him.

“You smoked.”

His voice cracked.

“…Yes. I just thought of it. I took out one of Tae-heun’s.”

The man pulled out Tae-heun’s Marlboro cigarette pack and a disposable lighter from the pocket of his shorts and handed them over. The sight resembled a boy confessing to a school supervisor, and a small laugh escaped.

“Do you want to smoke another one?”

Tae-heun asked, and the man shook his head.

“It’s been a while since I smoked in the early morning, so I’m feeling dizzy.”

He added as if to make an excuse.

“Then let’s share.”

Tae-heun took the cigarette pack from the man. As he pulled one out and put it in his mouth, the man lit it for him.

With his gaze fixed on the man, he took a drag until his cheeks hollowed. The man lowered his eyes. Because of that, his long eyelashes cast a shadow. Underneath, he recalled the number of freckles he had counted last time. Seventeen. He said it silently.

Tae-heun turned his head and exhaled the smoke. Then he brought the hand holding the cigarette close to the man’s mouth. The man was startled and pulled back, but since the wall was right behind him, he couldn’t move far.

“It’s okay. Tae-heun, you smoke.”

“Just one puff. Just one puff.”

Tae-heun said in a pleading tone.

The man slowly blinked and parted his lips. He opened his lips just enough for the cigarette to fit and passed it to him. His fingers brushed against the man’s lips. The man took a drag while avoiding eye contact. Puff, he smoked the cigarette.

Tae-heun watched the man turn his head to exhale the smoke and brought the cigarette to his own lips. After touching his fingers that had met the man’s lips to his own, he placed his tongue on the filter that had the man’s saliva and took a deep drag. It was dizzying.

The two stood there sharing the cigarette until the alarm clock rang.