LMI 16

“This, it was an elephant?”

“Yeah… Didn’t you know?”

Koi asked back, looking more surprised.

“Look, it has a long nose like this. And a tail like this.”

Koi said, pointing with his finger, but Ashley still couldn’t understand. How was he supposed to distinguish the nose and tail from that abstract shape?

But Koi was certain. Ashley opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it and took a deep breath instead.

“…Go back inside.”

At Ashley’s words, Koi nodded. Even as he turned around and walked back to the store, he kept looking back as if he was reluctant.

“Goodbye, come again, bye.”

Ashley waved back at him as he repeatedly said goodbye and waved his hand. Ashley started the car without hesitation. He felt a sense of relief and emptiness at the same time as soon as he drove out of the parking lot.

It was a strange feeling.

*

“Have you ever felt like you’re trash?”

At the sudden question, Bill asked back in confusion from the other end of the phone.

• What are you talking about all of a sudden?

Ashley paused for a moment and sighed.

“No, it’s nothing.”

Bill, who had been waiting for an answer, scolded him in a rough tone and continued,

• What was that, out of nowhere. More importantly, how is it? Can I come over one more time before the new semester starts?”It seemed everyone had a great time hanging out at Ashley’s house last time. The friends were looking for another opportunity. Of course, he would have gladly granted their wish in the past. It was better than being alone in this big mansion anyway.

But he wasn’t in the mood right now. Ashley said curtly.

“Busy.”

• What? What are you talking about all of a sudden?

Bill made a fuss, dumbfounded, but Ashley hung up the phone, annoyed. The surroundings became quiet again. He lay in bed for a while, then let out a short breath and immediately got up. Today, too, the clear summer sky was spread out without a single cloud.

*

“Welcome!”

Koi shouted happily as soon as he saw Ashley. Ashley always felt strange whenever he saw Koi welcoming him so enthusiastically with his whole body. This time, too, Ashley felt a strange sensation as he stepped into the store and greeted him as usual.

“Hi.”

“Hi!”

Koi returned the same greeting to Ashley’s greeting, smiling from ear to ear. Ashley, seeing him like that, could only give a wry smile, as always.

“You’re always smiling when you see me. Are you that glad?”

Ashley asked, picking up anything and placing it on the counter. He thought Koi would jump up and down, denying it with an “No!” or be embarrassed. But Koi widened his already open mouth even more and smiled brightly.

“Yeah, of course. I like you so, so much.”

Ashley was embarrassed by the unexpected answer. Koi, seeing Ashley’s wide eyes, said.

“Of course. Who could dislike Ashley?”

At the sound of Koi’s giggling, Ashley became uncharacteristically shy and averted his gaze. His cheeks flushed slightly, which was rare. Koi, oblivious to his reaction, hummed and rang up the items, then took something out from inside.

“This is a gift.”

“Again?”

Koi said with a smile to Ashley, who paused.

“This is limited edition too.”

Ever since he gave him the ugly elephant—or so he claimed—doll, Koi had been giving Ashley gifts like this from time to time.

Ashley knew very well that Koi was eager to give him anything. The problem was that he couldn’t refuse, even though he should. It wasn’t like he was usually unable to refuse people. He had been able to say no with a smile just fine until now, but he couldn’t open his mouth to Koi.

The reason was that smiling face of Koi’s.

“Here, this is an anteater.”

Koi smiled brightly, handing over another doll of an unidentifiable shape. It was obvious that he was overjoyed at the thought of giving Ashley a gift. His red cheeks, shining eyes, open mouth, and even his constantly twitching ears revealed all his emotions.

Of course, Ashley had tried to refuse when he received the doll for the second time. But the moment he saw Koi’s pale face, he had no choice but to take back his words. As a result, the number of ugly dolls in the back seat of Ashley’s car was steadily increasing.

I could just not come here.

Ashley thought, taking the strangely shaped doll with a reluctant feeling. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about this.

But it was too late for regrets. Ashley was already in this store, facing Koi. Even buying unnecessary things.

“Why lettuce seeds? Are you going to plant them in the yard?”

Ashley asked as he put the items in a plastic bag, finally realizing what the thing he had grabbed was. Koi chattered away with a bright smile.

“It’s good to grow your own vegetables. I sometimes put soil in paper cups and plant seeds there, and when the sprouts come out, they’re so cute.”

“…Paper cups?”

Koi nodded, saying, “Yeah,” to Ashley’s question.

“I line them up like this.”

Koi’s face shone with pride as he drew a line on the counter with his hand to show him. Until he checked Ashley’s expression looking at him.

Ah.

He belatedly realized that he had gotten too excited. Confidence faded from Koi’s face in an instant, and his eyes wavered. He had let his guard down and made another mistake. Ashley must have been fed up with Koi’s pathetic hobby.

He had been trying to hide that side of himself as much as possible, but he had made such a ridiculous mistake that his mind went blank.

“Um…”

Seeing Koi lower his head with a voice that was fading without confidence, Ashley quickly came to his senses. Oh no, Koi’s gotten discouraged.

“Do you plant lettuce too?”

Ashley quickly racked his brains and changed the subject. Koi cautiously raised his head. Ashley smiled nonchalantly at his questioning expression. It wasn’t a difficult thing to do. He had always done it.

As expected, Koi’s face immediately brightened, and his cheeks flushed again.

“Yeah, I planted it once before, but it didn’t grow well in paper cups. So now I’m growing dandelions.”

“…Dandelions?”

Ashley thought of the weeds that were growing haphazardly on the streets. Koi nodded and said.

“They grow well in any soil.”

“That’s, true.”

But no one would think of growing dandelions.

Ashley thought, but didn’t bother to say it out loud. There was another reason why Koi had decided to grow dandelions. It was because he would feel bad if he bought the seeds and they died. He thought it was a great idea because he could save money and grow flowers at the same time.

“Is there a reason why you have to grow something to that extent?”

Koi hesitated for the first time at Ashley’s question.

“Just…”

It was a different reaction from being dejected. Ashley waited for Koi’s words, who was looking down and hesitating.

“I just wanted to see something alive.”

Ashley found it difficult to understand his words.

Doesn’t he have a garden at home?

There are a lot of guys who live in apartments. Koi might be one of them, or there might be another reason.

Ashley was curious, but he stopped asking. They weren’t that close. At least, that’s what Ashley thought. And he wasn’t rude enough to pry into other people’s personal lives.

Come to think of it, Koi asked me a lot of questions at first.

Ashley recalled a memory he had forgotten. They were all trivial questions that everyone knew, so he didn’t think much of it, but he clearly remembered how happy he was to listen to them. Maybe that was why he had let his guard down so easily and answered so readily because of that face.

Will Koi answer anything if I ask him?

He suddenly became curious. The urge to test it welled up, but he suppressed it again. And he pondered the thought he had just had.

We’re not that close.

If he did that, Ashley might get a question back. He had no intention of revealing more about himself than what everyone already knew.