By Zephyria 
It was strange. He felt a truly strange sensation. Swallowing a trembling breath, Seo Chi-young struggled to keep pace with this kind man, who whispered “Are you okay?” and “You can relax,” while meticulously checking on his condition. Even so, a bizarre feeling lingered.
How could this man be so unreserved? He was kind and polite, but even though this was the first time they were touching skin-to-skin while naked—despite being people who frequently faced each other and talked—he didn’t seem awkward or embarrassed at all.
But then, as Jang Ui-geon slid down slightly, he suddenly grazed Chi-young’s chest with his lips, as if lightly pinching it. A shiver shot down Chi-young’s spine. He let out a short, involuntary gasp and reflexively covered his mouth, startled by his own reaction.
“…..! …..!!”
“Do you like it here?”
Jang Ui-geon seemed to notice Chi-young’s reaction immediately. With a low chuckle, he pressed a kiss onto Chi-young’s nipple. The hand Chi-young had used to cover his mouth tightened.
“You don’t have to hold back your moans.”
Whispering softly, Jang Ui-geon gently pulled away the hand Chi-young was using to block his own mouth. Chi-young let out a flustered “Oh,” and tried to cover his mouth again, but the generous grip holding his wrist was unexpectedly firm, preventing him from pulling his hand away.
“It’s okay. I prefer the passionate side. You can make as much noise as you want; there’s no need to endure it.”
Jang Ui-geon lightly kissed Chi-young’s hand, whispered with a smile, and leaned down. His lips, which had just touched the nape of the neck, slowly drifted back down to the chest.
Perhaps remembering how Chi-young had flinched several times even while keeping his mouth shut, Jang Ui-geon bit Chi-young’s nipple without hesitation.
“Ah…!”
A single cry escaped. The moment the sound of his own voice, let out unconsciously, reached his ears, Chi-young’s face flushed hot.
Even though it had come from his own mouth, it didn’t feel like his own voice. As Chi-young clamped his mouth shut in panic, he could feel Jang Ui-geon laughing against his chest.
“You like it here, don’t you?”
Whispering while keeping his lips pressed there, he licked the nipple that had begun to stand erect, as if pushing it with his tongue. The tongue, rolling the nipple softly and pliably, dampened the chest, creating a wet sound.
Chi-young stared at the ceiling with wide eyes, as if trying to pierce through it. He couldn’t stop the thin, intermittent moans leaking through his trembling lips.
A voice that didn’t sound like his own, sensations that didn’t feel like his own body—they were surging through him as if he were being electrocuted.
“Where else do you like? Tell me if there’s anywhere you’re particularly sensitive or something you want me to do when you usually have sex. Whether it’s something plain or something messy, I’m fine with either, so I’ll do whatever you want.”
“….I, uh, that…. uh, anything is fi…”
Unable to pull the words from his cluttered mind, Chi-young’s face turned red. Jang Ui-geon lifted his head.
“I prefer it when we enjoy it together, so I’d like it if you told me what you want.”
As he said this and kissed the tips of Chi-young’s fingers, Chi-young looked at him with an incredibly strange feeling. Perhaps because of his heated body and scrambled thoughts, reality felt surreal.
“….Let go of my hand.”
When Chi-young spoke in a low, hoarse voice, Jang Ui-geon obediently released his hand. With his freed hand, Chi-young hesitated for a moment before hugging Jang Ui-geon. Carefully, yet curling his body to feel the other man’s warmth clearly, he embraced him. He tightened his arms around the broad back.
As Chi-young clung to him like a child, Jang Ui-geon remained still for a moment before extending an arm to wrap around Chi-young’s waist. Their bodies, locked in an embrace, pressed together.
“I like this. …I like this too.”
He thought he heard Jang Ui-geon whisper with a faint smile. Not knowing his own state of mind, Chi-young nodded.
Jang Ui-geon was a man who had soft and gentle sex. That was what Chi-young thought. He had almost no experience of skin-to-skin contact with others, but he felt that there could be no sex warmer or more cozy than this.
As the word ‘sex’ crossed his mind, the act he and Jang Ui-geon were performing seemed to be clearly defined, and Chi-young shrank back shyly, his face flushed beyond limit.
With Jang Ui-geon. With this man. He had no idea how things had come to this, but he was mixing bodies with him.
Soon, Jang Ui-geon slowly slid down, tracing his way down Chi-young’s body with his tongue like a slug. Every place the tongue touched felt like a spark of fire, making Chi-young gasp. He couldn’t calm his trembling, shaking body. Jang Ui-geon paused briefly near the navel.
“Chi-young-ssi, you’re incredibly sensitive, contrary to how you look. Your reaction is so good wherever I touch that just looking at you makes me feel like I’m going to ejaculate…”
The voice, murmuring in admiration, faded low like a monologue. That voice, faintly carrying heat and excitement, also didn’t seem like Jang Ui-geon’s usual voice. That low voice, which sounded as if it were forcibly suppressing a rough and dangerous edge, covered Chi-young’s groin in the next moment.
“……..!!”
A moan, like a scream, burst out. Though he tried to endure it—even if it meant biting his tongue—the voice, so embarrassing he wanted to cover his ears, leaked through his throat every time those lips greedily sucked and swallowed Chi-young’s lower half.
“Wait, ……ah, ….., there…!”
Startled, Chi-young flailed his body, twisting and panting with a voice that sounded as if he were about to cry. Jang Ui-geon glanced up at Chi-young. Their eyes met.
He did not take his eyes off Chi-young’s face. Chi-young looked at him with a face that seemed on the verge of tears, wiping his intensely reddened cheeks with the back of his hand. Suddenly, the grip of the mouth tightened.
“……..!!”
It didn’t take long. Absurdly, with just that short stimulation, his body, which had grown hot as if it were about to explode, ejaculated shortly after. His plain body, which had lived without feeling much desire, twisted, pleading for more, just a little more release of craving.
His mind went blank. No thoughts came to him. It felt as though a voice, embarrassingly loud enough to die from, had burst out, but even that didn’t linger long in his mind.
After a few seconds, minutes, or perhaps longer, as Chi-young breathed heavily with a languidly stretched body, he slowly regained consciousness to find Jang Ui-geon already lying on top of him. A heavy, erect volume was rubbing against Chi-young’s limp groin.
“Was it okay?”
The low, whispering voice kissed his ear. Chi-young hesitated, then nodded within the languid and comfortable sensation. Looking down at him, Jang Ui-geon smiled.
“That’s a relief. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this good.”
As he spoke, Jang Ui-geon’s lips pressed lightly against his lips once more before pulling away. After a moment of hesitation, Chi-young clamped his mouth shut, then followed as if chasing after him, pressing his lips against Jang Ui-geon’s. The lips collided and parted without any eroticism, like a light headbutt, and Jang Ui-geon looked surprised for a moment. However, seeing Chi-young awkwardly avoid his gaze, he let out a short laugh.
“Are you a bit less nervous now?”
At the pleasantly asked question, Chi-young hesitated for a while before giving a barely perceptible nod. He wasn’t completely relaxed, but it was at least better than the moment he first entered the room.
Jang Ui-geon looked down with a smiling face and asked casually.
“Now that we’ve done it, it’s not that big of a deal, right?”
The moment those words reached his ears, Chi-young froze. The faint smile that had awkwardly hovered on his lips faded. However, Jang Ui-geon, seemingly unaware of this, continued speaking while brushing back Chi-young’s sweat-soaked hair.
“No matter who you do it with, once you actually do it, it’s not that big of a deal. Of course, there’s such a thing as chemistry, and it feels better if you’re with someone you like, but the act itself isn’t fundamentally different from doing it with anyone else.”
“…….”
The smile vanished from Chi-young’s face. The feverish gaze that had been awkwardly shifting also cooled.
—Whether it’s affection or the opposite, the fewer sentimental feelings you have for the other person, the cleaner it is without any aftermath.
The voice that had spoken with an awkward smile revived in his ears. Chi-young, seeing himself as his smile vanished and was replaced by a look of bewilderment, faced Jang Ui-geon, who was also slowly erasing his smile. At some point, Chi-young quietly pushed him away. He got up from the bed and sat upright, facing Jang Ui-geon. His lips, hesitating for a moment, opened.
“Ui-geon-ssi, you didn’t bring me here just with the intention of spending some light time together, did you?”
When he spoke this quiet assertion, which was close to a question, Jang Ui-geon frowned slightly. As he stared back without saying a word, Chi-young continued quietly, without any hint of accusation or gloom.
“You wanted to… dampen my feelings.”
To engrave in him that such things are no big deal, that there is no need to have such feelings.
The expression vanished from Jang Ui-geon’s face. Looking at him as he remained silent, neither denying nor affirming, Chi-young’s face suddenly turned red as if it had been cooked. In a state of flustered confusion, not knowing what to do, he rose as if burned by fire and gathered his scattered or loosely draped clothes.
“Chi-young-ssi.”
Without even looking back at Jang Ui-geon, who was calling his name in bewilderment, Chi-young anxiously dressed himself and stepped away, stumbling as if he might trip over the hem of his clothes.
“…I-I’m sorry. I’ll be going now.”
As soon as he threw on his clothes, without even the presence of mind to tidy them, Chi-young hurried to the door and changed into his shoes. Behind him, Jang Ui-geon approached quickly with a frown.
“Chi-young-ssi, wait a moment.”
Without looking back, Chi-young opened the door and left. Jang Ui-geon clicked his tongue lowly and called out urgently, “Chi-young-ssi! Come back for a second!” As he said this, he also began to hurriedly dress himself. Chi-young, who had been walking briskly down the hallway, paused and returned.
Seeing Chi-young approach again, Jang Ui-geon’s anxious expression softened slightly. “Chi-young-ssi, I—” he began, but before he could, Chi-young bowed his head with a stiff face and muttered awkwardly.
“I-I almost forgot, I don’t know how much the hotel fee is, but if you tell me later, I’ll give it to you.”
At Chi-young’s fragmented words, Jang Ui-geon looked bewildered for a moment. His voice grew faintly rough.
“That doesn’t matter. More importantly, Chi-young-ssi, I—”
But before Jang Ui-geon could properly speak, Chi-young bowed his head as if greeting him, then turned around and walked away, this time without looking back.
He didn’t know how many hours he had walked. The cars that had almost filled the wide road were moving much more smoothly than before. The number of people on the street had also noticeably decreased compared to an hour or two ago. He could check the time if he looked at his phone, but he didn’t feel like doing so.
He intended to walk home like this regardless of how many hours it took, and the scenery passing slowly by Chi-young’s side was changing into familiar sights. He hadn’t intentionally set out to walk all the way home, but as he walked, the river was approaching ahead. Once he crossed the long bridge spanning the river, he would reach an intersection, and from that intersection, it was about a half-hour walk to his house.
Chi-young tightened his collar. Even if it wasn’t a cold season, it was chilly at night, and since he hadn’t properly fastened the top two or three buttons of his shirt, he had actually been cold since earlier when there were more people around, due to the wind entering through the collar. However, not having been conscious of the cold despite feeling it, Chi-young only realized he was cold as the river drew near. As the river came within sight of the bridge, the air became even colder due to the river breeze.
“……..”
Only now did his mind seem to settle. Throughout the walk, his mind, stained white and black and cluttered, had been unable to form a proper thought. Like a string puppet moving without thought, he had simply moved his legs mechanically toward a familiar direction.
Chi-young hunched his shoulders and slowed his pace slightly. Consequently, the presence following him at a certain distance also slowed down.
Jang Ui-geon was following about five or six steps behind Chi-young. Chi-young didn’t look back, but he knew Jang Ui-geon was there—not hiding his presence, nor making it exaggerated, but simply following silently. And Jang Ui-geon knew that Chi-young knew.
At first, he seemed to call out “Chi-young-ssi” once or twice, but now he had stopped even that and was just following in silence, maintaining a constant distance behind the forward-walking Chi-young.
Eventually, he reached the end of the road he had been following. After waiting for the signal and crossing the street twice, he would be on the bridge spanning the river. Chi-young stopped silently, staring at the red light. After that, Jang Ui-geon also stopped a short distance behind.
It wasn’t that he was intentionally not looking back despite wanting to. He had no intention of showing that he was angry or treating the other man coldly.
Chi-young wasn’t angry. He had simply walked the long path with a quietly sunken heart, not even knowing where or how to begin his thoughts.
“…….”
The light changed. He crossed the crosswalk, which had almost no pedestrians, waited for the light to change once more, crossed a smaller crosswalk, and stepped onto the sidewalk.
Soon, the river approached beneath his feet. A massive bridge, casting bright lights even in the middle of the night like a grand architectural structure, connected this side of the river to the other.
Cars passed occasionally beside the narrow sidewalk Chi-young was walking on. Buses with few passengers also passed sporadically. Seeing a bus with a sign that seemed to say ‘last bus’ pass by, it appeared the night had grown quite deep.
The river flowed silently beneath his feet. If the lights from a bridge located a considerable distance away hadn’t been shimmering on the water, he might not have known the river was there; a vast, pitch-black darkness where the ripples were invisible lay beneath.
Chi-young’s pace as he walked across the bridge slowed slightly. The presence following him slowed accordingly.
He had already walked for several hours, and in that time, without turning back or stopping Chi-young, Jang Ui-geon had silently followed.
Jang Ui-geon knew Chi-young’s heart. He had already guessed it would be so. Even if he had pretended not to know, or if he had known and rejected him, Chi-young would have understood. Or even if he had truly treated him as nothing more than a partner to satisfy a one-night urge and mixed bodies.
“……..”
It was clear what he had been trying to say. That it would only be difficult for Chi-young to like him, so he shouldn’t do so—that was what he was saying.
Perhaps that was Jang Ui-geon’s own version of kindness. That the things Chi-young might hope for beyond liking him were not a big deal, so he should not hope for anything more.
Around the middle of the bridge, at a point equidistant from both ends, Chi-young stopped walking. Jang Ui-geon also stopped.
Without a word, Chi-young looked down over the railing, into the distant depths where the black river flowed. For a long time, lost in thought, he cast his gaze upon the river water, which had no specific destination. Jang Ui-geon watched Chi-young.
Eventually,
“……I’m sorry.”
A quiet voice was heard.
Chi-young slowly turned his head to look at Jang Ui-geon. On the face of Jang Ui-geon, who was looking at him with his hands in his pockets, there was none of his usual smile.
“I thought that would be better for you.”
“………”
Chi-young didn’t answer, only listening to Jang Ui-geon’s words. Jang Ui-geon dropped his gaze to his feet and let out a low sigh.