By Zephyria 
It would have been proper to provide more care, but since the Crimson Rain Brigade was scheduled to leave the area tomorrow at dawn, they could not leave the refugees as they were. Thus, they had to be escorted to a nearby town, a task assigned to Gil-sang. While he was at it, he also had to notify the town to prepare for a potential invasion of Devouring Ghouls.
Ho-eun offered his farewells to Gil-sang as well.
“Please travel safely, Sergeant.”
“Yes. I shall see you soon.”
“You too, Seong-im. Please take care of yourself.”
“…….”
Seong-im, standing beside Gil-sang, gave a nod. Ho-eun then approached the Mongolians, who were huddled together behind the two men. He unfolded a piece of hanji paper he had prepared in advance.
[Safe travels. I am sorry we could not provide more care.]
The woman holding her daughter in her arms read the words and gave a bright smile in greeting. The other Mongolians also bowed their heads deeply. Ho-eun bowed back in turn. Just then.
“The gates are opening!”
A soldier guarding the fortress gate shouted. At that, Byeonguk, Gil-sang, Seong-im, the Mongolians, and other soldiers under Tae-muk’s command hurriedly exited the gates.
Thud-thud-thud-thud.
Thud-thud-thud-thud-thud.
The sound of galloping hooves echoed loudly, and the flags of the Crimson Rain Brigade and the Taegeukgi fluttered and waved in the wind.
Ho-eun gazed blankly at their retreating figures until the fortress gates closed.
“Haa……”
Watching the lamp flicker as if it were about to go out, Ho-eun let out a deep sigh. Lost in deep thought—or rather, worry—he hadn’t realized how loud his sigh was. As he sighed again and again, the thick arm wrapped around his waist suddenly tightened. And then.
“Can’t sleep?”
A heavy bass voice vibrated against his ear, sending a tingle through him. Startled, Ho-eun shrank his neck.
“Ah, you’re awake? I’m sorry. I’ll sleep now.”
He quickly closed his eyes. However, Tae-muk opened his own. His revealed black pupils were impeccably clear and sharp, as if he had never been asleep.
He turned Ho-eun’s body to face him. Ho-eun slowly opened his eyes again.
“What is it. Are you sick?”
Tae-muk placed a hand on Ho-eun’s forehead. He brushed under his nose to check for a nosebleed and pulled down his lower lip to see if he had a mouth ulcer. Ho-eun let out a soft laugh at the busy movements.
“No. How could I be sick while being held by the General like this?”
He wriggled his body to get closer to Tae-muk. Naturally, Tae-muk provided an arm for him to use as a pillow and asked,
“Then why can’t you sleep? You need to sleep well. We have to leave early tomorrow.”
“I believe it is because my mind is troubled.”
“Why is it troubled?”
“…….”
“Are you worried we might lose? That our country might perish like the others?”
“……Yes.”
Ho-eun nodded slightly. Anxiety and fear surged deeply across his face. Seeing this, Tae-muk narrowed his eyes, and Ho-eun asked in a desperate voice.
“That won’t happen, right? Because the Crimson Rain Brigade is strong……”
“Right. It won’t happen.”
Despite Tae-muk’s firm assurance, Ho-eun could not shake his worries. Sighing repeatedly, he stared blankly at the area around Tae-muk’s Adam’s apple and spoke.
“I feel as though I have lived quite foolishly.”
“Why.”
“Before becoming a Bondmate, I didn’t just not fear the Devouring Ghouls—I hardly ever thought about them. I spent my days languishing, lamenting when this deficient body of mine would ever be of use.”
Ho-eun lightly stroked his own slender forearm. Without affirming or denying, Tae-muk simply pulled up the disheveled blanket.
“Given that, do you think I ever worried about the country?”
“…….”
“Even when the Yao fell and the Qing fell, I never worried about our own country.”
Ho-eun continued in a dry voice, then suddenly looked up at Tae-muk and smiled faintly. He also slowly stroked Tae-muk’s broad, muscular chest.
“Of course, it’s partly because a strong General like you and the Crimson Rain Brigade protect the nation, but also… Hanyang was always peaceful, the walls were sturdy, there were many people, and I had never seen a Devouring Ghoul once… So, shamefully, I never gave it a thought.”
At those words, the corners of Tae-muk’s mouth twitched upward. When he lived in the town, back when the ‘Young Master’ was scarier than the Devouring Ghouls, he had never once thought about the country or the ghouls. Of course, he was young then, but if the ghouls hadn’t invaded the town and he had continued to age there, he likely would have lived with thoughts no different from Ho-eun’s.
“Most people are like that.”
“…….”
“That’s why we fight—so people can live like that.”
Tae-muk whispered, caressing the corners of Ho-eun’s eyes. Ho-eun smiled thinly and rubbed his cheek against Tae-muk’s palm. Tae-muk pressed his lips firmly against Ho-eun’s forehead before pulling away.
“Are you that afraid of the country falling?”
“Yes. I am truly terrified. I’ve never once imagined the thought of the country disappearing.”
Ho-eun’s pupils wavered like the lamp flame. In response, Tae-muk lowered his head and locked eyes with him. Then, he spoke in a voice that was beyond steadfast.
“It won’t disappear.”
“…….”
“Because I’m going to save it. This country.”
“…….”
“If you want it, I can save a mere country like this ten times over.”
“…….”
At those words, Ho-eun’s large eyes blinked rapidly. Then, at some point, he burst into a soft laugh.
“Really… if anyone else had said that, I would have thought it was absurd bravado. But since the General says it, my mind is at ease.”
Ho-eun snuggled into Tae-muk’s embrace. He buried his forehead against the warm, solid chest. Thump, thump, thump—the characteristic heavy heartbeat was transmitted clearly.
Tae-muk stroked the back of Ho-eun’s head with his large hand. Then, staring at the lamp behind Ho-eun, his lips parted.
“If it’s a country where you exist, I have to save it somehow.”
Even if it’s a country teeming with wicked nobles, where Lowborns die every single day.
“If it’s a country you cherish.”
Even if it’s a country that does not cherish me, my body, or my soul.
“I will save it. I will.”
If you are there. If you hold it dear. If you want it, I can save it as many times as needed.
As he buried his nose in Ho-eun’s hair, he felt a faint trembling. The sound of the breath scattering against his chest grew damp.
Frowning, Tae-muk carefully gripped Ho-eun’s cheek and lifted it. Sure enough, the corners of his eyes were flushed red. Shallow waves surged in his pupils.
“Why are you crying?”
“Heu……”
“Ho-eun.”
At the low yet tender voice, Ho-eun’s lips trembled. His eyelashes drooped even more heavily. As Tae-muk looked at him with pity, Ho-eun spoke haltingly in a suppressed voice.
“Thinking that the General will be hurt again, be in pain again, and bleed again… I feel as though my heart is breaking.”
Whenever he thought that they could survive, that they could win, a worry kept tangling in his heart. It was the worry of how much Tae-muk would have to be injured, how much blood he would have to shed for that to happen.
The blood he had seen from Tae-muk thus far was enough to form an ocean. How much more blood would he have to shed in the future? How much more of his pain would he have to witness?
He was afraid. He was terrified. But there was no other way. That made it all the more tragic.
“I wish you weren’t in pain, I wish you wouldn’t shed a single drop of blood, but I don’t think that’s possible, I feel like that’s the only way this country can survive, it feels like I’m selling the General’s body to preserve my own life, so, so my heart is just too……”
Muttering incoherently, Ho-eun dropped his head. All sorts of guilt and a sense of sin were plastered over his small head. Just as Tae-muk reached out to brush them away.
Suddenly, Ho-eun snapped his head up and spoke in a voice tinged with a strange madness.
“Shall we run away?”
“What?”
“Shall we just run away and live hidden, just the two of us, where no one knows us?”
Ho-eun’s eyes sparkled as if it were truly a wonderful idea.
“…….”
Tae-muk gazed silently at Ho-eun. Contrary to the corners of his mouth which were quirked up, his pupils were utterly crushed. His eyes, which were always clean and clear, were murky, as if they had rolled through muddy water.
So, Tae-muk forced a smile. Because he knew exactly what Ho-eun needed right now.
“As if you’d actually want to.”
“…….”
“As if you could even live happily after running away.”
“…….”
“You can’t be that kind of bad Young Master.”
Tae-muk pinched Ho-eun’s nose and shook it playfully. Perhaps that was the trigger. Ho-eun’s face, which had been awkward as if wearing a mask, slowly crumbled and then completely distorted. Finally, the dam of tears burst.
“Heeuuu……”
Ho-eun cried so sorrowfully that it was pitiful to behold. His clear face became completely crumpled, red, and drenched. Tae-muk pulled Ho-eun into his arms and patted his back.
“I’m not in pain. As long as you’re here, it doesn’t hurt at all.”
“Heu, General……”
“My body has been torn a hundred times; what’s a few more tears?”
At those words, the wailing Ho-eun snapped his eyes open and thump, covered Tae-muk’s mouth. He knew it was a rude gesture, but it was too horrific to listen to, so he couldn’t just stay still.
“Don’t, don’t say things like that. Please……”
Even as he did so, the tears streaming down from his large eyes were pitiful, yet at the same time, incredibly cute. Tae-muk smiled, kissing the fingertips of the hand that was covering his mouth.