By Zephyria 
“Just a moment. It’ll be a headache if the line gets tangled. Hang it on the IV pole like this, hold here, and push it gently as you go. You can go to the bathroom by yourself, right? Or should I hold a urinal for you?”
I have all four limbs intact; I can’t pee while lying in bed. Although I have absolutely no social status or prestige, I still had a shred of last-ditch pride I wanted to protect.
Gently pushing the IV pole, I entered the bathroom inside the room. Feeling burdened by the presence of the lady who followed me to the door, I closed the bathroom door and locked it firmly.
Has it been about an hour since I woke up? I’m tired even though I’ve done nothing. If I can’t eat and have nothing particular to do, is there any need to stay awake? I’ll just do my business and go back to sleep.
Thinking so, I pulled down the pants of my patient gown. I carefully held my penis, which was slightly swollen due to the urge to urinate, aimed it at the toilet, and began to void. Perhaps because I had held it for quite a while, the stream was strong. Like my health deteriorating after receiving my death date, my urine had been coming out in dribbles, but today, for once, I relieved myself cleanly.
For some reason, I felt refreshed. My body ached, but there was no death-like chest pain. Are they giving me painkillers too, or is the IV just that good?
As I shook off the remnants and tried to pull up my underwear, I felt something missing for some reason. I didn’t feel the presence of the flesh that should be wrapped around my fingers. The rod was there, but the pouch was gone.
What is this feeling of having lost something precious?
Groping my groin with my hand, I lowered my head and confirmed with my own eyes. The size seemed to have shrunk a bit, but for now, the cock was safe, and the two balls that should be underneath it… were gone. I lifted the penis up and searched thoroughly beneath it, but there was absolutely nothing to be felt.
Is… is this possible? Is it true that the balls that should be attached here are gone?
I froze like ice, unable to easily escape the shock. Why on earth are they not visible? Was this something that appeared and disappeared, or disappeared and reappeared?
Did I lose my precious two balls in the accident? My bones and organs weren’t damaged and I wasn’t seriously hurt, but perhaps unluckily, my balls burst and surgery was inevitable. But for it to have been a surgery, it was too smooth, without a single trace, as if they had never existed in the first place.
I needed to organize my thoughts. I had to check if this was a dream and calm my mind, which was paralyzed by agitation.
I took a deep breath in and out, then did it again a couple of times. Gripping the waistband of my pants, I rushed out of the bathroom and headed toward the ward desk where the nurse was.
“Oh my, student! I told you the IV needle would come out. You have to pull that thing with you!”
Even the voice of the startled lady screaming couldn’t stop me. The IV pole that had been dragged along tumbled to the floor, and the needle inserted in the back of my hand came out, with droplets of blood falling rapidly.
“What did you do to me!”
As I slammed my hand onto the desk and asked, the leaked blood left a red handprint.
“Huh? What are you doing? Just stay right there. I’ll treat it for you.”
“What did you do to me? Huh? Did you perform some surgery on me without my knowledge?”
“First, please calm down, and give me your hand.”
The nurse pressed the puncture site on the back of my hand with a disinfectant cotton ball, secured it with tape, and clicked her tongue while roughly wiping the bloodstains from my hand.
“You have to be careful. If you do it wrong, your skin could tear.”
“The skin isn’t the problem… what on earth… did you do to me?”
“Why are you acting like this? Please tell me calmly. Take a deep breath, slowly.”
I had already tried taking deep breaths on my own, only to realize they were completely ineffective. Biting my lip, I had to ponder what words could clearly convey my current bewildered and distressed situation while remaining as metaphorical as possible.
Was there no male nurse here? I couldn’t bring myself to tell a female nurse that my balls were gone—that unless my eyes were deceiving me, the testicles that should be attached to my lower half were currently absent.
As if mirroring my anxiety, the tips of my fingernails tapped incessantly against the desk, making a rapid clatter-clatter-clatter sound. A hint of dissatisfaction and irritation began to build in the gaze of the nurse watching me. Just as I accepted that there were no such things as “metaphorical expressions” for this, I opened my lips and managed to utter the first syllable of “bal—”
“What is all this commotion?”
A man dressed in a coat approached and asked. I looked at the nurse to see if he was a doctor, but she looked just as bewildered, as if it were her first time meeting him too.
“Stop making a scene and go back to your room. Please replace the IV drip with a new one. Can you do that?”
“Pardon? …Ah, you’re the guardian. If you take the patient back to the room first, I’ll bring the fluid immediately.”
The man gave a slight nod and turned toward me. A towering height, a slender frame, a glossy coat that spoke of a high price tag, and sunglasses covering half of his face. He wasn’t dressed in anything particularly flashy, yet strangely, the word “plain” didn’t fit him.
“The room. Lead the way.”
The man commanded as he slid down his sunglasses. I realized belatedly that the reason he looked lavish despite the lack of ornate decoration was because of his face.
So, this man is that guy’s guardian. The person following behind him must be a driver or an attendant.
Then is this man the father? Or a Hyung? Either way, he didn’t look like the type of person to be polite upon a first meeting. He didn’t look like someone who would be overcome with emotion, offer thanks, and readily hand over an envelope of money, either. It was a hurdle right from the start.
No, there was a problem far greater than an envelope of money. My missing those. Things I couldn’t easily mention to others, but were vital to me.
I chewed my lip anxiously and looked for the nurse, but the man gripped my shoulder and pushed me toward the patient room. The strength in the hand gripping my shoulder was unexpectedly strong, and I was led into the room.
“How frivolous.”
It was a tone that evoked immediate distaste. Even after hearing just one sentence, I could instinctively tell that this man and I would get along terribly. No, would there even be anyone capable of maintaining a good relationship with a man who spoke like that?
I understood now why that guy couldn’t even speak his mind and was always intimidated and depressed. Anyone would feel a sense of self-loathing if spoken to in such a manner.
If he speaks this off-puttly upon a first meeting, it must be even worse when they’re alone as a family.
“Um, I’m sorry. But I have my own reasons, and it’s quite disconcerting for you to speak to me so abruptly. I have something very important to ask the nurse right now.”
“And what is this ‘important’ thing you need to ask?”
As if saying let’s hear it then, the man naturally took off his coat, handed it to the caregiver, and sat on the sofa. I pondered for a moment how to deal with this man, who had assumed a perfect posture of arrogance—legs crossed, upper body leaning back against the sofa.
“I… could I possibly find out if I underwent any surgeries or procedures after coming to this hospital? If it were a matter of life and death, an emergency surgery would have been a given, but it seems the hospital performed some strange surgery on me that has nothing to do with saving my life.”
At my words, whispered small and fast, the man let out a short scoff. As the corners of his mouth curled up, a deep dimple appeared, reminding me of that guy. I thought they didn’t look alike, but if I stripped away the lavishness from this man, I felt I could find that guy’s pale colors.
They are definitely blood relatives.
Too young to be a father, too old to be a Hyung—a man who looked just right as an uncle. A man who had registered as the guardian and come to visit after waiting for me to regain consciousness. I needed to know who this man was to make negotiating the reward money easier.
The problem was that, right now, my balls were more urgent than the reward money.
“So… I… what I want to say is…”
After pacing back and forth in front of the man and mumbling, I finally managed to open my lips, looked the man straight in the eye, and spoke in a distressed voice.
“My balls are gone.”
“Kyaa!”
Of all times, the nurse who happened to be opening the door at that exact moment screamed and fled as if she had encountered a pervert. A deep frown creased the man’s brow as he listened to me. The man’s attendant stepped through the half-open door and shut it firmly, leaving only the caregiver, who had missed the timing to leave, standing against the wall like a piece of furniture, staring out the window in bewilderment.
“You just…”
Just as I had when I first discovered the absence of my balls, the man took a deep breath and barely managed to squeeze out two words in a trembling voice. It was confirmed that deep breathing was of no great help in finding peace of mind.
“You… are truly insane. Have you finally decided to act completely crazy without caring about how others see you?”
“…Wow, this ahjussi speaks incredibly harshly. I tried to be polite, and this is the reaction I get? Frankly, is there any incident more serious than this? Speak as a fellow man. Your balls vanish overnight—is this really a time to be ‘calm’? You’re a man too, so you should understand my current bewildered and miserable state of mind. In this situation, why does other people’s gaze matter? My balls are gone right now! My balls are gone!”
I vomited out the anger and emptiness boiling up from my gut and lamented the irreversible loss.
No matter if my life was one that might end tomorrow or the day after, shouldn’t a man protect what is important?
“What on earth did your hospital do? You save a person’s life and then do this? I’m going to sue. Huh? You’ll only come to your senses once the truth is revealed and your hospital is plastered all over the nine o’clock news, right? I’ll visit every single newspaper office and report this to every exposé program!”
As I spoke, my emotions flared. I spat out words bordering on curses, and the man’s face took on an expression that was difficult to describe.
That expression was similar to someone facing a truly madman. It was a look of incomprehension, irritation, disgust, and yet mixed with a hint of fear. To put it in simpler terms, it was the face of someone looking at a piece of poop that was both filthy and terrifying.
Why is he looking at me with that face?
After rambling and venting my anger for a long while, I stopped and glanced at the man. The man, who had been slightly gaping like someone who had lost his soul, finally let out a sharp, hollow breath.
“Until now, I thought you were just pretending to be crazy. I thought it was the minimum level of rebellion you could manage, given how weak-willed and mentally fragile you are. But it seems I was wrong. You… are truly insane.”