By Zephyria 
The night grew deep.
After returning from the bathroom alone, In-ho wiped down Haon’s body with a wet towel. Lying naked under the covers, Haon was fast asleep, utterly exhausted.
In-ho carefully rubbed Haon’s pale thighs and lean stomach with the warm towel. A smile naturally formed on his lips as he watched Haon’s stomach rise and fall slightly with every breath.
After meticulously cleaning the chest where red bite marks remained, he covered him with a fresh duvet. As expected, Haon slept so deeply that he wouldn’t have noticed if someone carried him away.
Sitting by the head of the sleeping Haon, In-ho gazed at his porcelain face. He thought that if he could look at this face for the rest of his life, he wouldn’t mind never sleeping again. Though it was the kind of thing Haon would likely find repulsive if he knew.
Smiling foolishly, In-ho touched Haon’s hair and pressed a firm kiss onto his rounded forehead. Then, holding the towel, he left the room.
After leaving the wet towel in the laundry room, In-ho perched on the living room sofa. He stared out at the night view through the window with a quiet gaze. Despite the late hour, the outside was bright.
Seoul, filled with towering buildings, never ceased to glow, day or night. Yet, while living here, he had never once felt that his surroundings were bright. In-ho had always been submerged in a deep darkness.
He slowly crossed the living room and climbed the high stairs one step at a time. Since returning home, he hadn’t yet entered his own bedroom. Because Haon had moved all the luggage to the lower floor, he hadn’t felt the need to go up.
As he turned the handle of the closed bedroom door, it opened smoothly.
Without crossing the threshold, In-ho stood before it and looked around the room. Contrary to his memories, everything was tidy and orderly. The bedding had been replaced with new linens, and the broken lamp was gone, likely thrown away.
However, the stain remaining on the dented wall reminded him of that day. In-ho gazed silently at the remaining trace and took a step forward.
He walked to the edge of the bed and sat down with the bright night view at his back. Keeping his eyes on the hole in the wall, he pulled the phone from his pocket.
It was very late, well past midnight. Nevertheless, he made the call without hesitation.
After a long ringing tone, the call connected. The first thing he heard was a deep sigh.
What is it?
Jang Eun-young asked in a tone she tried to keep soft. It was a voice laced with irritation. In-ho reached one arm behind his back and got straight to the point.
“Don’t look for me.”
The sound of slippers scuffing against the floor came through. Jang Eun-young, seemingly having stepped out of her bedroom, spoke in a gentle voice.
Where are you planning to go?
“Far away.”
Far away where?
“Somewhere you people aren’t.”
A sharp, short laugh followed. It was an attitude that dismissed In-ho’s words as trivial.
Fine. Go wherever you want and clear your head.
She assumed In-ho would naturally return. Despite the numerous scenes he had caused in the past, the place In-ho had ultimately chosen was Korea.
Even while ignoring Jang Eun-young’s contact, he had never changed his number. He had never even attempted to move or disappear. Even when living in the US, he could have easily vanished if he had set his mind to it, but he always lived where his family could see him.
The reason was simple. He was lonely.
In-ho was a child who hated his family yet always craved their attention. It was the same after he became an adult. He was always starving for the word ‘family.’
Are you taking your lover with you?
“I’m not coming back.”
Sensing something different in In-ho’s calm voice, Jang Eun-young fell silent. It felt as if the sound of her gears turning could be heard through the phone. In-ho let out a small smirk and continued.
“If you find me, or come looking for me, I’ll kill myself on the spot.”
Seo In-ho.
“Don’t bother testing me. You know very well that I’m not afraid of dying.”
That was a lie. In-ho no longer had the will to die and feared death as much as anyone else.
“If I die, you’ll have nothing left to hold onto. Right?”
With a lazy smile, In-ho threatened Jang Eun-young with his own life. In the past, this wouldn’t have worked. As a child, when he said he would die while standing before a wide-open window, she hadn’t even blinked.
In-ho, why are you doing this to make your mother sad?
But it was different now. Because he was no longer a worthless existence to her.
Could you really die and leave Haon-ssi behind?
“We can just die together.”
He replied lightly, as if it were no difficult task. For a moment, a stiff sensation at the back of his neck made him frown. In-ho shook his head and stood up from the bed.
“It’s probably better to at least be alive. Stop worrying about me and just pray that Seo Ju-han awakens.”
His expression softening, In-ho suddenly headed toward the bathroom. He stood before the mirror and habitually opened the sliding cabinet. He wasn’t planning to take medicine. He just wanted to look one last time.
Let’s meet and talk. I’ll go to where you are tomorrow.
In-ho’s pitch-black eyes blankly scanned the inside of the cabinet. Soon, a deep smile spread across his lips.
You hate the house, right? Where should I go?
Ignoring the voice tinged with urgency, he took in the colorful pieces of origami that dyed the cabinet. Plenty of origami shaped like various animals were covering the medicine bottles.
Imagining the round back of the head that had folded the origami, In-ho laughed out loud.
Haon was the only person who would give him such cute gifts. It had been so in the past, and it would be so in the future.
“Mother.”
Rubbing the corners of his mouth, In-ho warned her with a happy face.
“If you hit Seo Ju-han one more time, I’ll let the whole world know that you had sex with Secretary Jung.”
Jang Eun-young went silent. She likely hadn’t expected In-ho to hold a weakness of hers.
“You should fix your habit of hitting people before you get any older.”
In-ho whispered softly that he even had a video. When he asked if he should send it, the call cut off abruptly. After that, he never heard from Jang Eun-young again.
Looking down at his phone, the corners of In-ho’s mouth curled up even brighter. It was because he locked eyes with the photo on his lock screen.
After admiring the image of himself and Haon smiling while making a heart with their fingertips, he quickly returned to the lower floor.
He missed Haon. Even though they had been apart for only a very short while, he missed him and wanted to touch him to the point of thirst.
The moment he passed through the door—which he had intentionally left open—Haon, who had just woken up, looked around. He seemed to have woken up because In-ho wasn’t by his side. In-ho strode toward Haon, who had noticed his absence.
“Where did you go?”
“I went to get some water.”
In-ho pulled the yawning Haon into a tight embrace and lay down in bed with him.
“Sorry for waking you. Go back to sleep.”
“You sleep too, In-ho-ssi.”
Tucked securely into In-ho’s arms, Haon’s eyes quickly closed. Then, fluttering his eyes open again, he looked at In-ho. He waited until In-ho closed his eyes.
“Let’s meet in our dreams.”
The sleep-drunk voice trailed off clumsily. It was so lovely it made his heart ache, and In-ho, with his eyes closed, repeatedly kissed Haon’s face.
He felt that if they fell asleep together like this, they really could meet in their dreams. Harboring this foolish hope, In-ho pressed his cheek against Haon’s and breathed in the cozy scent of skin. Haon, as if by habit, inhaled In-ho’s scent.
And so, the two welcomed the oncoming sleep together.
* * *
It happened back when In-ho lived in the United States.
At that time, In-ho lived each day as if he were merely unable to die. He couldn’t endure even a few hours without being drunk. He had reached a point where he couldn’t even speak properly if alcohol didn’t touch his lips.
Back then, In-ho’s surroundings were always filled with people just as drunk as he was. On this day, without fail, he drank amidst the bustling crowd until his physical senses grew numb.
However, for some reason, the situation around him felt exceptionally nauseating that day. To the point where he had to rush to the bathroom to throw up.
After vomiting his heart out in the stall next to a man and woman having sex with the door open, he left the club. Normally, he would have drunk until dawn, but for some reason, his body instinctively headed for the exit.
Unlike the heat-filled interior, the outside was a freezing winter.
In-ho wandered the cold streets without a coat. Passersby armed with thick coats and scarves frowned at him. Some openly shook their heads.
A pungent smell of alcohol radiated from the staggering In-ho. After walking for a long time along the endless street, he collapsed in front of a closed shop. The strength left his legs, and he could no longer walk.
‘Ah… I’m going to die.’
Because his lips, frozen by the cold, were trembling, his voice shook violently. His entire body was shivering like a leaf hanging from a branch.
He thought he might actually die if he stayed like this. He probably would have. The warmth provided by alcohol had long since been replaced by the merciless winter chill.
In-ho blinked at the deserted street and quietly closed his eyelids. For some reason, he felt a sense of peace.
Just before he lost consciousness, someone wrapped a wool scarf around him.
Opening his eyes faintly, In-ho looked up at the child standing before him. It was a small child, so young that they didn’t even reach In-ho’s waist.
The child mumbled something while handing the scarf to In-ho. His hearing, muffled by alcohol, did not let him hear the words of the angel-like child.
Then, the child turned around. A short distance away, the child’s parents were waiting. It seemed the child had come to give the scarf to In-ho after receiving permission from the parents.
Even though they didn’t know who he was, that family showed kindness to someone sprawled out in a drunken stupor. For no reason at all.
In-ho couldn’t take his eyes off the retreating backs of the family. The image of the child walking slowly, holding hands with the parents, was particularly etched into his mind.
I want something like that too. A sudden greed flared within him.
Perhaps it was because the scarf the child gave him was warm. In-ho buried his face in the scarf, which smelled faintly of powder, and breathed out his wish. That he, too, wanted a family.
Strangely, the warmth embedded in the scarf did not fade as time passed. The more he hugged it to his chest, the warmer it became.
Drawn by the warmth that melted the cold, In-ho slowly opened his closed eyes.
“In-ho-ssi, you were dreaming.”
Then, Haon greeted him with a smile. The warmth of the scarf had come from Haon’s hand. Haon, who had been playing by massaging the sleeping In-ho’s hand, looked at him with a clear smile.
The two were sitting side by side in a fast-moving train. They were on their way to Haon’s home.
“Was I snoring?”
“No, you were talking in your sleep in English.”
Haon laughed, wrinkling his nose like a child. He looked noticeably bright. He had been excited since the moment they left the house.
“Your English was really good.”
At Haon’s fascinated reaction, In-ho’s smile deepened. A subtle flutter of excitement also lingered on his face.
“What did I say?”
“Uh… English.”
Haon shrugged with an embarrassed look. He knew In-ho was speaking English, but he didn’t understand the meaning at all.
“You were smiling while speaking English.”
Haon asked if he had a good dream. In-ho met Haon’s eyes and told him that he did.
“Aren’t you hungry? How much longer is left?”
“We still have a bit further to go.”
Haon rummaged through the shopping bag in front of his legs, trying to take out a snack.
For a couple who had promised to live in the countryside for the rest of their lives, they didn’t have much luggage. Haon’s old backpack and one large Boston bag belonging to In-ho were all they had. They had only packed plenty of gifts for the villagers.
“Let’s eat cake.”
After checking that the gifts were safe in the shopping bag, he took out a small cake. It was a slice of fresh cream cake bought from a department store.
There were many kinds of fancy cakes, but Haon chose the most plain fresh cream cake. Even when In-ho asked if he should buy more, Haon said this was enough.
While Haon slowly peeled off the cake’s packaging, In-ho, having removed the plastic wrap from the fork, waited for him. Watching the plump cheeks with a relaxed gaze, he carefully broached a subject.
“Do you not need to see your mother before you go?”
Haon had said he came to Seoul because his mother lived there. However, even after deciding to return to the countryside, he hadn’t mentioned his mother at all.
“It’s okay now.”
Haon, peeling off the transparent film covering the cross-section of the cake, wore a serene smile. He wasn’t flustered by the sudden question.
Coincidentally, Haon had also been thinking of his mother. In fact, he had thought of her from the moment he woke up this morning. That was why he had bought a cake he didn’t even need to eat.
“Give that to me.”
Reaching out to In-ho, he took the plastic fork’s packaging. Haon gathered the trash and put it in a black plastic bag.
After looking at In-ho once, Haon pulled an old note from his pocket. After looking at the cake and the note, he threw them both into the plastic bag.
“It’s really okay now.”
Having thrown away the note his mother left, Haon picked up the fork with a feeling of liberation. It was a note he had checked and looked after every chance he got, fearing he might forget it. He had lived with a racing heart, worried that his forgetful self would lose even the last trace of his mother.
He didn’t have to do that anymore. Haon had let go of the note, which he would have eventually lost anyway, by his own will. The scrap of paper, now smaller than his palm, was already deeply engraved in his heart. So, he intended to keep it only as a memory.
“Haon-ssi, eat more.”
“No, you eat it, In-ho-ssi.”
The two bickered over the last bite of cake, each telling the other to eat it. In the end, In-ho pretended to eat it himself but pushed it into Haon’s mouth, so Haon lost. He tried to pretend to be angry, but the sweet fresh cream lingering in his mouth hindered him.
The taste was too good to make a face. It was a hundred times—no, ten million times—more delicious than what he had eaten as a child.
Meanwhile, the sun set once again.
The fading glow of the sunset seeped into Haon and In-ho’s faces. The two smiled while playing with each other’s hands, gazing at faces radiating warmth.
When evening came, In-ho checked his watch and asked if they needed to eat anything else. Shaking his head, Haon leaned on his shoulder and answered lightly.
That he wasn’t hungry.
Synopsis
*Background/Genre: BL
*Keywords: #ModernSetting, #Omegaverse, #Cohabitation, #FirstLove, #BeautifulTop, #KindTop, #DevotedTop, #ScarredTop, #HighLibidoTop, #PoliteTop, #ObsessiveTop, #BeautifulBottom, #KindBottom, #NaiveBottom, #TimidBottom, #LowSelfEsteemBottom, #UnrequitedLoveBottom, #SicklyBottom, #Misunderstanding/Confusion *Top: Seo In-ho.
An Alpha who showers Haon with kindness. Under the pretext of liking to help others, he brings Haon into his home and tries to give him everything he wants—to the point where it’s confusing whether he actually likes Haon or not.
*Bottom: Jeong Haon.
An Omega who suffers from a pathological hunger whenever he goes into heat due to a hormonal abnormality. After moving to Seoul alone, he lived precariously while encountering trashy Alphas, until he miraculously met In-ho. He gradually finds himself falling for the man who is strangely kind to him.
*Recommended for: When you want to see an Alpha who is indifferent to others become tender only for a hungry Omega.
*Memorable Quote: “If there’s anything you want to do, just tell me. Anything at all.”
Introduction
“Why are you crying so much?”
“…….”
“Do you always cry this much?”
When he woke up in a strange Alpha’s bed, Those were the only words he remembered from their conversation.
It was a familiar occurrence for Haon.
Whenever he went into heat, he would lose his memory along with a pathological hunger.
He tried to brush it off as just another one of those incidents, including spending the night with this Alpha, but….
“That student from earlier seemed like an Alpha.”
“…Pardon?”
“The neighbor is an Alpha, too.”
He was the one who offered to take him home, so why was he saying things like this?
While Haon was bewildered by his words, The man held out his phone.
“I’ll provide help without asking for anything in return.”
“…….”
“Just give me your number, Haon-ssi.”
For some reason, he felt as though he had stepped too deeply into a strange kind of kindness.