By Zephyria 
As evening passed, the cafe became crowded with customers. Haon returned the coffee—which he hadn’t touched at all—to the counter and headed back to the hospital room.
In-ho was still asleep. He showed no sign of waking up.
With a metallic screech, Haon sat on the steel chair and watched In-ho’s profile. Looking at him now, he seemed significantly wasted away. His jawline had grown sharper, and faint shadows had formed beneath his eyes.
His lips, which always held a subtle reddish hue, had also lost their color. In-ho hadn’t looked this sick before Haon had gone to the cafe.
His complexion seemed markedly different after only a short absence. It couldn’t have changed in that brief window of time. It was simply that Haon, in his dullness, had failed to notice until now.
While he was wasting away like this, Haon had been gradually gaining weight and becoming healthier. He was the only one who had improved. Unaware that the other side was festering, he had enjoyed a happiness born from the illusion of a peaceful time.
Haon blankly took in the sight of In-ho, who looked exhausted even at a glance.
The palms of the hands resting on his lap were still damp. Sweat pooled in his palms as if he were holding a water bottle beaded with condensation.
Rubbing his wet palms against his thighs, he looked down at In-ho again. The surroundings were excessively quiet. It felt as though even the sound of steady breathing was absent.
Approaching the bed, Haon leaned over and pressed his ear against the left side of In-ho’s chest. Fortunately, In-ho’s heart was beating with a steady rhythm. Listening closely, he could hear the sound of his breath.
Timing his own breathing with In-ho’s exhalations, Haon straightened the blanket that had become rumpled because of him. Then, he pressed his lips against In-ho’s dry ones.
After a silent kiss, he rested his cheek against In-ho’s pale neck. His body temperature seemed to have grown even cooler.
“Mr. In-ho.”
He whispered softly, pulling the blanket higher to cover him up to his chin.
“I’ll be home for a little while.”
He told him he would change his clothes and bring back some clothes for In-ho to wear when he was discharged. Silently enduring the lack of response, he kissed his neck as well.
“Don’t be surprised if I’m not here.”
A cold silence weighed heavily on Haon’s heart.
After checking In-ho’s heartbeat one last time, Haon stood up. Instead of leaving immediately, he picked up the notepad and ballpoint pen provided on the low nightstand by the bed.
It was to leave a note saying he was going home for a bit, so that In-ho wouldn’t be startled if he woke up alone.
“…….”
The moment the tip of the pen touched the thin paper, he hesitated. Haon’s brown eyes began to waver slightly.
Haon slowly steadied his breath, looked at In-ho, and pressed down firmly on each letter as he wrote. He hid the childhood memories that flashed through his mind within those pressed letters.
* * *
Once in the taxi, Haon fell asleep as if he had fainted. After giving the address to the driver and leaning against the dark window, he was instantly plunged into a deep slumber.
Checking this through the rearview mirror, the driver drove with a bit more care than usual. He looked like a young student, but his hollow face looked as exhausted as an old man who had lived a full life. Seeing that he had come from a large hospital, the driver felt a sense of pity, thinking the boy must have a lot of stories.
Since he had buried his face in his palms before falling asleep, the driver thought he might have burst into tears. However, he had only stroked his face downward and didn’t cry. Judging by his reddened eyes, it seemed he had already cried his heart out before leaving.
“We have arrived.”
The driver brought the car to a smooth stop and spoke while glancing at the backseat. The deeply sleeping face opened its eyes surprisingly quickly.
“Thank you.”
Haon bowed his head slightly as he received the card he had used for payment. Then, instead of getting out of the taxi immediately, he hesitated for a moment.
“Excuse me… Driver.”
The driver, who had been watching Haon carefully as he spoke tentatively, asked what was the matter. Haon’s lips twitched, and then he abruptly gave the address of his rural home.
“I was wondering if I could get there by taxi.”
The driver made a clicking sound with his tongue and tilted his head, first typing the address Haon mentioned into the navigation system.
“Oh boy, that’s too far. It’s better to take the train. There are almost no taxis that go down that far.”
As if he had expected this reaction, Haon simply said thank you for checking with a dry expression. Even after Haon got out, the driver didn’t leave immediately but watched his trudging figure for a moment.
He intended to take him back to the hospital if he happened to collapse. That was how poor Haon’s complexion looked.
Contrary to the driver’s worries, Haon walked to the elevator without staggering once. His stomach stung a bit, but he wasn’t dizzy or nauseous. Haon was doing better than expected. Or rather, he decided to believe he was.
“Hello.”
While waiting for the elevator to arrive, a young child suddenly approached and gave Haon a polite bow. The mother holding the child’s hand also gave Haon a nod of greeting.
Haon also leaned his upper body forward slightly, following the child’s lead.
With a cheerful mechanical chime, the elevator doors opened. Haon stepped inside, listening to the child’s voice, which chirped like a sparrow.
“Mommy, when is Grandma coming?”
“She’ll be here tomorrow for lunch.”
“Not today?”
The child whined as if disappointed. The sight of the child pouting their lips like a pufferfish naturally brought a smile to his face.
Haon gave a weak smile while looking at the child. The child, who frowned saying they missed their grandmother, showed clear signs of having grown up with a lot of love. The clothes and shoes they were wearing all looked clean and expensive.
The child, whose eyes met the smiling Haon, leaned closely against their mother’s leg. Looking up at Haon with a curious gaze, the child followed the mother out of the elevator first.
Bye.
This time, Haon waved first. He mouthed the greeting so that only the child, who was staring at him, could understand. The wide-eyed child waved back at Haon.
After entering the house, Haon first went up to In-ho’s bedroom. Relying on the sensor lights, he climbed the long stairs one by one, leaning his weight on the railing.
After taking a breath, he stepped into the bedroom, which was already open. At the same time, the chaotic traces of the previous night came clearly into view.
Dried blood clung to the indented wallpaper, and dark red stains remained on the overturned nightstand and the broken lamp. The bedding was the same.
Taking these in one by one, Haon quickly tidied up the items.
He gathered the blankets, put the broken lamp and shattered bulbs inside, and shoved them into a corner. After setting the nightstand upright, he rubbed the hole in the wall with a wet towel.
The red bloodstains did not erase easily. After scrubbing for a long time, his head suddenly spun.
Swallowing a sigh, he tried to stand by leaning on the nightstand, but with a crash, the nightstand overturned. Perhaps one of the legs had been broken; it collapsed even though he had only applied a little pressure.
While trying to set the nightstand upright again, his gaze fell upon the open bottom drawer. It was because he heard the sound of a plastic container rolling inside.
Drawn by the sound, Haon opened the drawer as if possessed.
“…….”
Inside the drawer, medicine bottles were piled up in an amount similar to what had been in In-ho’s car console box. If anything, there were more, certainly not fewer.
As expected, he picked up the English-labeled bottles one by one to check the contents. Some were empty, and some were half-full.
There were already plenty, but for some reason, he felt there might be more medicine.
Haon opened every single drawer, trying to delve deeper into In-ho’s condition, which he had not known until now. However, the medicine was only in the bottom drawer of the nightstand.
Is this really all?
Looking around the spacious bedroom, Haon stood up, bracing himself with his knees. He opened the closet door where his own pajamas were kept and checked under the bed, searching every corner of the room. In a room as tidy as In-ho’s outward appearance, there were no suitable places to hide things.
In-ho hadn’t brought much furniture into the house. Before, that had seemed clean and sophisticated, but now it only looked desolate. Looking around, he felt a deep sense of loneliness.
In just one day, everything in the house looked different.
Haon rubbed his throbbing forehead and leaned against the wall for a moment. Then, smelling the scent of his body after sweating so much, he contemplated taking a shower. However, thinking he needed to return to the hospital quickly, he only changed his clothes.
He folded the blood-stained clothes neatly and put them in the laundry basket inside the bathroom door. Then, his gaze suddenly shifted to the large mirror above the sink.
Haon’s reflection appeared in the clean mirror, which didn’t have a single water spot. His bloodless face held no emotion. It was a face whose thoughts were unknowable.
Haon reached toward the mirror.
As he gripped the sharp, angular edge and applied slight pressure, the sliding cabinet opened easily.
Inside, there were far more medicine bottles stored than the combined total of those in the console box and the nightstand. Seeing this, Haon pressed his parted lips firmly shut.