By Zephyria 
Sobbing, tears surged uncontrollably. It felt as if he had been cut by a knife.
“…Anyone.”
Eun-myeong curled his body into a small ball. He looked utterly miserable, like a small bird shivering its wings after being drenched in the rain.
Tears pooled and wavered in his large eyes. He didn’t want to act so pathetic, but he simply couldn’t stop the tears from bursting forth.
“I would have been happy if anyone had come to save me back then.”
…Really?
Would it really have been okay if it were someone else?
If the one who held him in a warm embrace hadn’t been the Boss, would he truly have given his heart to that person?
…He didn’t know.
Now, he truly knew nothing. Eun-myeong no longer wanted to cling to questions that yielded no answers. His mind already felt too cluttered, as if it had been painted completely black.
Perhaps Eun-myeong’s head had exploded, just like his house that had burned down.
His chest felt hot and aching, as if it had been burned. It felt as though his heart had been charred black.
He wondered if he had been scorched by the smoke from the house fire earlier.
No, in truth, his heart had been stinging long before that. Eun-myeong felt as if he were slowly dying.
Wondering why, he traced back the tail of his memories one by one, and he found the ring. Once he saw it, his chest collapsed like a bursting dam. It felt as if he lived every day with a stinging pain, like a burn.
He no longer wanted to pin his hopes on the kindnesses the man handed out as if they were charity.
What did it mean to hold him tenderly in his arms? What did it mean that he bought him clothes? He didn’t want to be swept away, his mind stained black by these worries….
The typhoons that blew through every moment spent with him were violent and vast.
Sailors are not supposed to take their boats out on days when the weather is turbulent, yet he had already embarked on and returned from far too many voyages.
He had dreamed of a full catch, but more often than not, he came back empty-handed.
I want to stop now. My heart is as tattered as a rag; there isn’t a single scrap of heart left to hoist like a sail.
“The Boss is such a bad person that I regret loving you, so, so much.”
Eun-myeong’s lips trembled. It was hard to keep meeting his eyes.
As he lowered his gaze and tried to pull his body back, the man gripped Eun-myeong’s jaw tightly and yanked him forward.
“Ugh…!”
He exerted a brutal force, as if he intended to crush the bone.
“Let me go…!”
“Shut your mouth. There’s a limit to how much I’ll overlook your defiance just because it’s cute.”
The sound of teeth grinding echoed. The man brought his face close. His grim voice felt sharp enough to slice through the air.
“So what if you regret it?”
He asked what he was going to do about it now that he regretted it. As he spoke, he squeezed both of Eun-myeong’s shoulders tightly, as if gripping a flopping live fish.
“Ugh, uuugh….”
Eun-myeong let out a groan from the pain. His cheeks, drenched in tears, crumpled. A cold voice descended over his forehead, which had turned red from crying.
“Even if you regret it, what can you actually do?”
The gaze glaring at Eun-myeong was terrifying. He was clearly looking at him, but his eyes lacked focus.
He looked completely gone, like a madman, as if he had chewed through a whole handful of Omega estrus inducer.
Yet, his eyes mocked him, his lips looked down on him, and his jaw held an overbearing attitude, attempting to crush him.
“Either way, you can’t leave me even if you try.”
Eun-myeong’s lips fluttered as if to speak, but he soon hesitated. How could he be so definitive, as if slicing a fish’s head with a sashimi knife?
…Ah, he realized it instantly, as if struck by lightning.
That was because the man had never known fear.
Whenever Eun-myeong woke up and found the man gone from his side, he would tremble in fear, wondering if he might never return.
…This man had never felt that way, not even once. Only Eun-myeong had been anxious.
Eun-myeong looked back at the man.
He was clearly agitated. Rage was simmering and blazing in his eyes.
Was he angry because he felt it was insolent that he—someone who should wag his tail like a dog or show his belly when told—was talking back?
Yes, if it were this man, that must be the reason. Because he was a man who could be so angry yet remain certain that Eun-myeong would never leave….
If things continued like this, nothing would change between them. The man would drag him around like a dog, and he would helplessly offer his neck.
Then this situation would keep repeating. Repeating, and repeating, and repeating again, and then what about him?
What about his heart, which was already riddled with holes, letting in the freezing wind? Who would acknowledge his emotions, which were not just ruins but were rotting away? The Boss only ever tried to ignore them.
Rather than being ignored again, he felt he would rather fight back. He wanted to throw these emotions at him. No matter what got caught in the net, Eun-myeong wanted to cast it. No matter the outcome, it couldn’t be worse than this.
So, he parted his lips.
“…I… I want to leave now.”
The blurred words flowed through the heavy atmosphere. Eun-myeong was immediately flooded with regret. Ah, I said it. I actually said it. What do I do now?
He knew it was something he had to say, but now that he had uttered it, it felt as if everything was crashing down.
What would the man do if he disappeared? Would he throw a tantrum because something he used conveniently was gone and it became a hassle? Or would he be glad that something annoying had vanished?
Greedily, he hoped the man would miss him, even just a little….
However, an emotion struck the man. As Eun-myeong looked up, a vivid blue vein was throbbing at the man’s temple. His two feet, planted on the floor, were twitching.
Eun-myeong spoke haltingly.
“I’m leaving….”
“Leaving?”
Before he could even finish the sentence, the man cruelly cut him off.
“Do you really think you can? Do you even know what you’re babbling about right now?”
His lips twisted cruelly. He asked as if questioning whether Eun-myeong was even capable of such a thing. Anyone could tell who held the upper hand in this dynamic.
“Even knowing that if you walk out, I have no intention of ever looking for you again?”
“Yes….”
Eun-myeong lowered his eyes.
To be honest, he lacked confidence in the moment. However, despite that, words had a magical effect. Even for something that seemed impossible, once it was spoken aloud, a small amount of courage would emerge.
So, even if it seemed impossible right now, Eun-myeong put strength into his eyes and spoke.
“I won’t come looking for you again.”
After uttering those words, he slowly backed away from him. Even though they had only been close for a few minutes, the loss of the body heat made him feel an unbearable sense of sorrow.
Eun-myeong took slow steps. Slowly, very slowly. Even in this state, he was foolishly lingering, wanting to stay by the man’s side for just a moment longer.
Then, with a face stained by tears, he looked around. Comically, there was nothing for him to take. His life had been practically that of a beggar.
Ultimately, Eun-myeong stood before the entrance empty-handed. He closed his eyes tight, opened them, and slowly opened the hotel door with a creak. The light from the hallway poured in, stabbing Eun-myeong’s eyes.
Cruelly, his tears glistened. Now, only one step remained to the outside.
But Eun-myeong hesitated, with only the tips of his toes touching the floor. He did so like a complete idiot. He saw the shadow cast on the floor.
He wavered, as if about to leave, yet unable to.
It was truly the end now. If the man didn’t come looking for him again, he would be cast out forever.
He looked back at him one last time.
Since he didn’t know when he would see him again, he wanted to see the man’s face. But while he was dripping with lingering attachment, the man didn’t even glance at his retreating back.
Instead, he had a cigarette in his mouth.
Click, click. Still sitting on the sofa, he tried to light it with the tiger lighter, but perhaps the fuel was gone, as the flame flickered small and quickly died out.
Eun-myeong felt a surge of emotion. It was unbearably miserable that he was the only one agonizing until the very last moment….
“And I’m going to love someone else and get married, too.”
And so, he left that one sentence behind, as if stubbornly insisting.
Soon, the door closed with a thud behind Eun-myeong. He stood alone in the empty hallway.
Sobbing, he took one step at a time. The thought that it was truly over once he left made his feet hesitate repeatedly.
“Hic….”
But before he had gone far, a loud crashing sound erupted from behind him. Eun-myeong flinched, shrinking his neck in fear. With tears clinging to his eyes, he looked back.
What was that just now?
It seemed the man, unable to control his temper, had thrown the lighter.
Was he angry…?
He wanted to open the door and see his expression, but he couldn’t.
The door was already closed. All Eun-myeong could do now was move forward. He trudged along.
He walked endlessly. Tears streamed from his eyes, and mucus ran neatly down his philtrum.
Eun-myeong moved his feet while sobbing. He walked aimlessly, like a lost stray dog.
As he walked, an hour passed, and then another twenty minutes flew by.
The soles of his feet stung unbearably, and his pinky toes were raw. Looking down at his feet, plump white blisters had formed. Bright red blood was also flowing.
“…Sigh.”
He had truly left the hotel with nothing but his body. Like a fool, he didn’t have a single penny in his pocket. He contemplated whether to take out his cell phone and call his Noona, but then shoved it back into his pocket. He had far too little shame.
After walking a bit more, nearly two hours in, he arrived in front of the villa.
Eun-myeong looked up at the upper window. However, he couldn’t bring himself to go inside and lingered in front of it.
Eventually, he crouched down on the stairs. His stomach was growling with hunger, but he didn’t care.
After staring blankly at the ground for a long time, he reacted to the sound of his name coming from somewhere.
“Eun-myeong.”
Eun-myeong lifted his grime-streaked face.