#110

My heart hammered against my chest.

‘So, you’re saying that no matter the reason, if I die, I’ll wake up in Mother God’s camp?’

How could…

‘No, thinking comes later.’

I had to read more.

I had to judge after reading every single record in this ‘notepad.’

I had to read everything that my past self felt was necessary to convey, regardless of the cost…

[14. With this, the stories of the three great things have ended.]

‘…Three?’

No, you’ve only told one story so far.

‘And why is the number 14?’

What did I miss?

[I have now told all the stories I can.

I still do not know whether it is better to know that some things cannot be changed, or to remain ignorant.]

‘Wait, I missed two of them!’

If you knew it could be edited, you should have written at least three versions!

That way, I could at least guess what was missing!

You thoughtless bastard!

[The important thing is not to lose hope.]

‘Cut the crap!’

[You may now discard this book. It will only cause you trouble if you keep it.]

[15. How to Discard the Book]

I bit my lip as I faced the next title.

Since the ‘book’ referred to this ‘notepad,’ discarding the book likely meant the method to remove the Blessing of Records.

Despite this being information I should have welcomed with open arms, I felt no joy at all.

‘…Is it really okay to get rid of this Blessing now?’

There was still content I hadn’t read.

If I erased the Blessing, those parts would remain unknown forever.

‘If the missing records contained information as shocking, important, and terrifying as the trait Mother God gave me…’

Won’t I be completely screwed later?

Take the identity of the question mark trait, for example.

What if I had remained ignorant of it, failed a SAN Check later, and actually succeeded in a suicide attempt?

‘It means I would have woken up in Mother God’s camp.’

It was absolutely horrific.

‘Of course, there is still no proof that the explanation is true.’

I couldn’t exactly call out Mother God’s name or try killing myself just to test it.

However, I was almost certain this record was factual.

Excluding the useless introduction, there was only one part of the record that could be called the ‘main text’: number 11.

‘The question mark and maternal love…’

It was hard to see it as a mere coincidence.

I had never told anyone that I received a Blessing from Mother God.

Much less that the hidden trait in my Status Window appeared as [???].

‘Even if someone could read the contents of my trait, they wouldn’t know that it appears as a question mark on my Status Window.’

Therefore, this record could only have been written by me.

‘And there’s nothing in here demanding anything from me.’

If all of this had been fabricated by some omniscient being with malicious intent to deceive me, there would have been a section giving me additional instructions.

Telling me where to go, what to do, or whom to follow.

But all I gained from this was a sense of vigilance: ‘No matter what happens, I must not commit suicide!’

‘Moreover, it even wrote down the method to remove the Blessing.’

There was no reason not to trust a being that provided a warning and asked for nothing in return.

‘If there is one problem…’

It was that numbers 12 and 13 did not appear in the record.

It was highly unlikely that I had intentionally left the middle numbers blank to prank myself…

This gap must mean they were ‘edited’ out.

‘…How can I recover the lost records?’

Is my only option to go further down?

‘No, then there would be no point in having sent this to my past self.’

The more I thought about it, the more it seemed right to discard the Blessing.

If it was also true that Athanas was coming, this was no time to be lost in thought.

[15. How to Discard the Book]

I glared at the back of my hand again.

‘I hope it doesn’t say some bullshit like “go down the stairs to remove the Blessing.”’

With a slightly trembling hand, I tapped the back of my hand.

[How to Discard the Book!

It is very simple.

Confirm the location of the book, and then cut it out.]

‘…Cut it out?’

Cut what?

[An axe will be helpful.]

‘An axe…’

Was this a metaphor?

Since it said proper nouns couldn’t be used, maybe this was also being phrased indirectly…

As I pondered, something Casimir had said to me suddenly flashed through my mind.

‘No matter where the Blessing is engraved, if you cut it out and regenerate it, it’ll be clean.’

‘…Wait, is it telling me to cut off my own left hand right now?’

That’s the way to erase the Blessing?

‘Cut the crap!’

[16. You are indignant. ‘There is no axe here!’]

‘The lack of an axe isn’t the problem!’

[How are you to cut the book without an axe?

Of course, I know that even with an axe, cutting out the book is no easy task.

Especially since you must hold the book with one hand, making it even harder.

Because I know myself well, I know that I cannot do this on my own.

Therefore, I have prepared another method.]

‘Yes, obviously you should have.’

There’s no way I could cut off my own arm while sane.

If it were me, I would have found another way.

‘In the first place, if I cut my arm in this situation, I’d just die from excessive bleeding.’

Even if I managed to stop the bleeding, then what?

Go find a healing priest and ask for treatment?

Ledeia’s priests aren’t idiots; they’d ask how this happened. What would I say? That my hand slipped while chopping firewood?

[17. Before that, one thing.]

I took a deep breath and pressed the title.

[…Is it not strange?

Why did I write so lengthily, using numbers?

While some parts were necessary for understanding, didn’t you feel that overall, I was unnecessarily wordy and long-winded?

In this urgent situation where someone is descending?]

‘…What?’

[18. I had to stall for time.]

‘Why?’

[There is no need to be too anxious.

Would I ever do something bad to myself?]

‘Emphasizing it like that makes it even more suspicious!’

[I simply added a bit of compulsion for my own sake, as I am someone who cannot put into action the right thing even when I know what it is.

You should be grateful for the consideration I’ve shown.

I had no one to help me.

I had to do it purely by my own will.]

I grimaced.

‘So…’

[19. You have no choice but to read in order.]

[However, beside you is a being who can read without having to turn the pages.

The final part was written for him.

I asked him for a favor.

Since I wouldn’t have the courage to cut out the book alone, I asked him to bring someone who could help.]

‘…Help with what?’

At that moment, I heard footsteps.

I looked back up the stairs.

‘Who?’

Athanas?

“Fabio.”

No, it wasn’t Athanas.

A person with a hood pulled low, hiding their face, was descending the stairs.

‘I’ve heard that voice before…’

“I said we would meet next time, but I didn’t expect to see you here.”

‘…Callister?’

I didn’t have time to wonder why he was here or how.

‘Fuck!’

The moment I spotted the axe blade poking out from under Callister’s sleeve, I spun around and dove between the bookshelves.

‘Fuck fuck fuck!’

It was an instinctive reaction. There was no time for deep thought.

I had no plan for what to do after escaping.

The only thought filling my head was that I had to run.

‘I don’t want to be cut!’

I surrendered my body to the fight-or-flight response and bolted.

I staggered, clutching the bookshelves as I turned corners. I didn’t even know where I was going. I didn’t dare look back.

“Agh!”

Fuck!

Damned books!

My foot caught on a pile of books stacked in the aisle, and I tripped and fell flat.

Books scattered everywhere flipped open on their own, despite there being no wind.

Every page was plastered with the same phrase.

[Fabio, go back.]

[Fabio, go back.]

[Fabio, go back.]

Goosebumps erupted all over my body.

‘This was the Domain of Records…!’

The records could tell Callister my location. It was a game I couldn’t win from the start.

‘I should have just run up the stairs…’

My mind raced. How do I get out of this situation?

‘Should I try to persuade him?’

Callister wasn’t a murderer chasing me to kill me. He just wanted to cut off one of my arms. If I could somehow persuade him that it wasn’t necessary…

“Fa-bi-o-.”

‘Fuck!’

Hearing my name called from a distance made my heart shrink.

I scrambled to my feet. I felt I had to find the direction of the stairs and escape at all costs. What happens after I escape? I can think about that then. Getting out of here was the priority.

Books that had fallen from the shelves were piling up, forming walls.

‘I can’t let myself be surrounded.’

As I shoved the pile of books with my shoulder, the wall of books collapsed with a crash.

Just as I was about to run through the books— “Gah!”

Books poured down on me from the bookshelf right next to me.

Reflexively, I covered my head and curled into a ball. Books piled up over me.

Before I could even feel the pain of being hit by the books, anger surged.

‘Fuck this goddamn Record…’

Just as I was about to curse, a book in front of me opened.

[Fabio, this is for you. I don’t want to hurt you.]

‘Cut the crap!’

I reached out and slammed the book shut.

Just as I was about to crawl out in a prone position— “…Fabio. Running before surgery is not a very good idea.”

An unfamiliar shoe was right in front of my eyes.

‘Fuck, when did he get here?’

“If your heart rate increases, the amount of bleeding will increase as well.”

Breaking into a cold sweat, I looked up.

I saw the blade of the axe reflecting the light.

“Normally, I would wait until you calmed down, but since I heard there is no time, it can’t be helped.”

“Wait, I have something to sa—”

“Ah, you must keep your mouth shut during surgery. Otherwise, you might accidentally cut your tongue.”

Callister knelt on one knee and stuffed a handkerchief into my mouth.

I tried to spit it out immediately, but the handkerchief didn’t budge, as if it had adhered to the inside of my mouth.

“Mmph! Mmph-mmph!”

‘Fuck, what is this!’

What the hell did he stuff in my mouth…!

“Now, this will be over quickly. It doesn’t hurt at all.”

Callister lightly patted my cheek.

[

SYSTEM

: Due to the effect of ‘Heaven Above, Earth Below, I Alone Reign Supreme,’ the ‘Blessing of Pain Relief’ is nullified.]

‘Wait, it feels like the Blessing isn’t working…’

And then, Callister raised the axe high.

That was the last scene I remember.

Chapter 111