#108

Thud.

I let the book drop.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

I never heard anything about that.

Annihilation?

‘You only said I could get a brief glimpse of the truth of the world!’

If you had told me I’d die instead, I would have never come down here!

He said he’d show me something amazing, and I thought it would be something like an aurora, but instead, he shows me a nuclear explosion and says, “How is it? Cool, right? By the way, you’ve been irradiated, so you’ll die within three days.” Who does that!

[Why, why didn’t you warn me?]

[I did. I told you it would be better not to come down.]

‘No…’

Dammit, you have to be more specific about things like that!

[You should have told me exactly! That I could die!]

[That’s not it, Fafabio. If you hadn’t come down here, you would have been annihilated. To be precise, you were able to survive because you came here.]

I was speechless.

‘What on earth is happening?’

My head spun from having too much shocking information crammed into it in such a short time.

‘So, Athanas used Regression…’

About an hour’s worth of progress records were deleted, but I’m the only one left here?

And an hour ago’s version of me is perfectly alive outside?

‘…Am I like some kind of item duplication bug right now?’

In games, if you move an item to a chest and disconnect or intentionally cause an error at that exact moment, the item appears in the chest but isn’t deleted from the inventory, resulting in two items.

To patch such bugs, game companies add a procedure to delete one if two of the same item exist.

‘And now, the item in the inventory has realized that it’s about to be deleted.’

It reminded me of the teleportation paradox.

If a person is disassembled and reassembled at a destination, can that be called teleportation?

Or should it be said that the original body died at that moment, and a clone who believes himself to be the original was created?

‘The problem becomes serious the moment the original isn’t disassembled and two people exist.’

I stepped out of the teleportation device, but I was still at the starting point.

Thinking there was an error, I find out that I had “successfully” emerged at the destination.

An employee guides me, saying there’s a minor error and that I just need to enter another device.

I realize that this will not be a movement, but a simple “annihilation” process.

When that moment arrives, can I really believe that what I experience upon entering that device isn’t “death”?

‘Dammit…’

I clawed at my hair.

I could feel pain in my scalp.

I still have a physical body that feels pain. If the annihilation of this body isn’t death, then what is?

‘Dammit, dammit, dammit…’

No matter how much I thought about how to escape this situation, no answer came. Even if I called the Saintess, the signal wouldn’t reach. No, it wouldn’t matter even if I called the name of an Othergod. Starlight doesn’t reach this place. There’s no point in using Forced Persuasion by influencing the Record. My becoming Lost in Time wasn’t due to the power of Records…

‘…I don’t want to disappear like this.’

But I already knew the answer.

There weren’t two options. No matter how much time was deferred, the end was annihilation. Do I want to suffer for a long time before dying? Or do I want to end the pain immediately?

‘The wisest choice would be to slam my head against that barrier right now to reduce the time I spend feeling pain, even if only by a second.’

Fearing “annihilation” right now was a waste of energy. Even if I held out and suffered here for a long time, it would only increase the total amount of pain. Whether I hold out and refuse to enter a new device only to be dragged in by security, or step in pretending I noticed nothing, the conclusion is the same. In that case, is there any point in struggling? Wouldn’t it be better to achieve a mental victory?

I’ll just think that I’m not dying, but that only an hour’s worth of memories is disappearing. The moment I leave, time resets, and I lose my memories. That’s all. I’m not dying…

‘Dammit.’

I resented the Record. Why did he tell me the truth? He could have deceived me as much as he wanted. He could have just guided me, saying the teleportation device seemed broken and that using another one would work. Why…

“Why did you tell me this?”

My voice trembled, choked with emotion.

What meaning does this even have?

I…

“No matter what I… what the current me knows, it’s useless. I can’t have any influence on the outside anyway, right? Why make me go through this pain? You should have just let me disappear! Why this meaningless pain…”

[No, that’s not the case!]

“What do you mean it’s not…?”

[If you receive my Blessing, you can transmit ‘information’ to the outside!]

‘…Not that I can actually go out?’

[I call you Fafabio, but Starlight recognizes you as ‘Fabio.’ To Starlight, you are a unique existence. No, an existence that must be unique. Therefore, if you exist at a time when you cannot, Starlight will try to process the error somehow.

In the process of processing the error, your memories will vanish completely as they hit the mental barrier, but other things will be overwritten as they are. So, if you overwrite while holding a ‘Record’ within my Blessing, you can transmit information to the version of you from an hour ago!]

‘So…’

I wiped my blurred vision.

“…What do I have to do to overwrite it?”

[I will bestow a Blessing upon your arm. Place the Record you wish to transmit within that Blessing. After that, simply push your arm beyond the Boundary and let it be annihilated! Simple, right?]

‘…Stop bullshitting me!’

He’s calling losing an entire arm “simple”? Is he crazy?

“Is that the only way? Any other method?”

[That is the only way you can influence the outside. You are the only unique one. It won’t work with any other object.]

…And what exactly am I transmitting by going that far?

That Athanas can use Regression? To be careful?

‘It would be better not to know such things.’

The moment I realize Athanas thoroughly deceived me, would I be able to avoid feeling terror in front of him?

‘Eventually, I’ll be found out.’

Then Athanas will…

[Of course, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.]

‘……’

It’s not a matter of wanting to or not.

If I transmit the Blessing of Records, I am definitively finished.

‘…He said Athanas is looking for me.’

It won’t be hard for him to find out that I went to the Main Hall.

An Idan who hasn’t even received the Blessing of Order went to meet the ‘God of Records’ without saying a word?

‘That alone is fucking suspicious…’

And in one hand, I have the Blessing of a traitor?

‘Wouldn’t it be justifiable to execute me on the spot?’

There’s plenty of circumstantial evidence that I conspired with a traitor.

Even if I insist I don’t know about it or that it appeared suddenly, there’s no way he’d believe me.

The me from an hour ago would end up dying in a fucking unfair way.

‘Stupid Record bastard…’

Does he not realize that even if his intelligence increases, his Blessing can be a total nuisance?

[It’s safe here, so stay as long as you wish.]

[…Even if you tell me to stay as long as I wish, there’s nothing here. Won’t I just starve to death soon?]

[That won’t happen. Since you are separated from time, temporal changes cannot accumulate in your physical body.]

‘…Does that even make sense physically?’

Does that mean entropy doesn’t increase here?

But my thoughts and memories continue.

Is that not a change in the physical body?

‘More importantly, if the state of the body is fixed…’

[I’m really thirsty right now.]

[Oh dear. There is no water here… Instead, I can make as much ink as you want! You can drink it if you wish. Though it won’t quench your thirst.]

‘Do you think a human would realistically drink ink, you crazy turtle bastard?’

I tried to get angry, but then I thought even that was meaningless.

Looking up, I saw the pitch-black Boundary.

‘…If I just close my eyes and put my head in there, it’ll all be over.’

I won’t feel irritation, anger, thirst, or fear anymore.

‘Maybe I can do it if I think of it as just similar to fainting?’

Dammit…

I actually considered using the Blessing of Records.

I wanted to vent this unfair and suffocating situation to anyone. I wanted to write a whole page of curses against the Record and send it.

‘…But I can’t be the one to fuck myself over.’

Unless there was information so important that I wouldn’t care about the traitor’s Blessing.

There’s no need to write down things that don’t even need to be known.

A copy of me was created by an error, but then deleted.

In that process, the copy realized it was being annihilated and cried in agony, not wanting to die like this.

I wouldn’t want to know that…

‘I’m tired.’

I tossed the book aside and leaned back against the wall.

Maybe I’ll feel a bit better once my emotions settle and I get bored of this situation.

‘I’ll just sit here until I have the energy to climb the stairs…’

Ink floated in the air, blocking my view.

[Fafabio.]

‘I fucking hate looking at him.’

Maybe I should just close my eyes…

[I had to be vague earlier, but now I can tell you.]

‘…Tell me what?’

[You said you can neither die nor find peace even if you do.]

‘Wasn’t that Perpetua’s story?’

[Fafabio, once you realize what Blessing you possess, you will be grateful that you can be annihilated simply by walking out of here.]

* * *

‘…Just how deep did they dig this basement?’

Is this even possible with the architectural technology of this era?

When I had descended about six more floors from the 12th basement level, the Record suddenly spoke to me first.

[Fabio, knowing the truth could be dangerous for you. Why don’t you stop here?]

‘Why?’

From the Record’s perspective, wouldn’t it be best for me to reach the very bottom?

That way, he can transmit his true thoughts to the top.

[Some truths cause contamination… I vaguely understand. I have been contaminated by something. So I kept my mouth shut, realizing that if I revealed this, Order would be permanently corrupted. This is… ]

[What is it?]

[…Anyway, don’t come down.]

And then the letters vanished.

I hesitated for a moment, then descended one more step.

At that moment, a System window popped up.

[

SYSTEM

: Error detected. Removing conflict.]

‘…Error?’

I stopped for a moment to see if anything had changed, but nothing had.

No, there was one thing.

‘Was this always here?’

A pattern had appeared on the back of my hand. Thinking it was ink, I tried to rub it off, but it wouldn’t budge.

‘What is this?’

Chapter 109