#104

“…Kill Athanas?”

“He is one who will throw the world into chaos. A terrible murderer. Removing him before he can commit his crimes is the path toward Order.”

“No, but….”

“Why that expression?”

‘Oops.’

I was currently a double agent.

If I showed even a hint of sympathy for Athanas, Andrea would assume I had been brainwashed.

I deliberately made my face look more miserable.

“…How can I be happy when the Bishop must stain his hands with blood? I am worried for you, Bishop.”

“Haha, Fabio. You do not know me well. I am a stronger person than you think. For the sake of Order, I am capable of far worse.”

‘Know you well, my foot.’

I knew damn well what Andrea was capable of.

He’s a man who can massacre sick people who haven’t even committed a crime.

So, killing Athanas, whom he perceives as a villain, would be nothing to him.

‘Of course, Athanas won’t just die easily, but….’

Thinking of Athanas made cold sweat break out in my gripped hand.

‘Can I really just leave this bastard be?’

I felt like I had to do something about Andrea before I quit this whole thing.

‘…Should I report him to the Inquisition right now?’

A Heretic Inquisitor cannot overlook a crime.

It would be one thing if they hadn’t investigated and failed to find the crime, but if there is clear evidence of a sin and the sinner is not punished, that becomes the Inquisitor’s own crime.

‘As for evidence of an Othergod’s involvement, there’s the creature.’

As long as I could secure the snake, making Andrea face punishment wouldn’t be difficult.

There was just one problem….

‘…I haven’t secured Adelaide’s safety yet.’

The sole reason I hadn’t reported Andrea and had continued to build rapport with him was because of Adelaide.

I didn’t know how the ‘Distorted One’ would react after losing Andrea.

That’s why I decided not to provoke Andrea until I saved Adelaide….

‘…To quit, I have to give up on Adelaide.’

The moment I add a condition like “only after saving Adelaide,” I’ll never be able to pull myself out.

And after saving Adelaide?

Would I be able to tell myself that it doesn’t matter if the world ends?

‘So, I should just ignore what happens to Adelaide and report him….’

…Fuck.

‘How am I supposed to make a choice like that?’

It’s not like someone is dying right this second if I don’t report Andrea immediately.

No matter what, I refuse to make a choice where someone’s life is on the line.

The Trolley Problem.

(An ethical dilemma regarding whether it is morally permissible to kill one person to save five.) In that scenario, my choice is absolutely to never touch the lever.

If five people die because of that? I can mentally convince myself that it is not my responsibility. I wasn’t the one who tied the people to the tracks, nor was I the one driving the trolley. Above all, I have no obligation to pull the lever to minimize casualties. Therefore, I will not be punished for murder by ‘omission’ for not pulling the lever. If anyone blames me, I can excuse myself by saying I was too shocked to make a judgment. How could anyone make such a difficult decision in that short, urgent moment?

But if I pull the lever and kill one person?

The responsibility for that person’s death lies with me. If I hadn’t pulled the lever, that person would not have died. Despite knowing this, I manipulated the lever to change the tracks. I assessed the situation, weighed the value of lives, and ‘judged’ that the one person should be sacrificed. There is no room for excuse there.

Even if people say that not choosing is also a choice, my heart couldn’t accept it that way.

‘…Should I just disappear without reporting him?’

Athanas already knows that Andrea intends to kill him. Wouldn’t it be okay to think my role ends there? I tip Athanas off about the danger, and then I leave. Whatever happens after that, I don’t care.

‘If I just tell myself it’s none of my business whether Andrea succeeds or fails in killing Athanas….’

…Fuck.

Living with mental victories is damn hard.

“Bishop Andrea, please listen to me for a moment.”

In the end, I decided to use Forced Persuasion to maintain the status quo.

It would be one thing if I knew nothing, but in this situation, my conscience wouldn’t allow me to just run away.

‘…Since I can use Forced Persuasion on Andrea.’

It’s possible to find out more specific details about the plan to kill Athanas and sabotage it.

I am the only one who can do such a thing.

‘Therefore, if Athanas ends up in danger because of Andrea, that is my responsibility.’

Andrea resisted the ‘Forced Persuasion’ more stubbornly than last time.

“Did I not say it was the limit? Do you think I would grant permission again after hearing that?”

“Thinking about it again, I think it would be more painful to stop.”

“Even if you say that….”

‘Doesn’t matter, as long as he can’t refute it, it’s over.’

Andrea eventually succumbed, drenched in cold sweat.

“…Very well. Since you go so far as to say that, it cannot be helped.”

‘Forced Persuasion successful!’

It’s a bit a shame that the success notification window doesn’t pop up except for the first time I persuaded him.

It would be convenient if it showed the count of how many times I’ve persuaded him.

“Thank you for allowing it!”

“I allowed it because you said you wouldn’t overdo it.”

“Of course! Thanks to your concern, I’ve already improved a lot. I should go see the children now. They must be waiting….”

“…Did you not say at dawn that there was somewhere you had to go early today?”

‘I did?’

I searched my memory for a moment.

‘Right, I was planning to go to the Inquisition today.’

I remembered deciding that I would report the God of Records no matter what.

Since Casimir might have left work if I went too late, I had even asked Andrea for his understanding in advance so I could visit during business hours.

‘…That feels like a previous life already.’

Because the experience of facing ‘Oblivion’ was so shocking, I had completely forgotten.

“Thank you for reminding me. That could have been a disaster.”

“…May I ask what it is about?”

“It is nothing you need to concern yourself with, Andrea. It is a personal matter.”

“It is not related to Athanas, is it?”

“Of course not! If it were, I would have told you first. It has absolutely nothing to do with Athanas.”

‘Since Athanas doesn’t know about the existence of the second wax tablet, it really is unrelated.’

Since I said it was unrelated to Athanas, Andrea stopped prying and saw me out.

‘To think I completely forgot about the bastard who is practically the culprit.’

I’ll report this insolent traitor immediately and let him taste the flavor of condemnation.

I headed to my room first. I had to pack the wax tablet as evidence before going to the Inquisition.

However, once I opened the chest and took out the wax tablet, I began to doubt if reporting the God of Records now was the best choice.

‘…What on earth was that Record bastard’s goal?’

Why did he tell me to look for the name of Oblivion?

‘Did he want me to witness Oblivion firsthand?’

So that I could feel poignantly that Order is not such a trustworthy existence?

‘…It certainly had an effect.’

The problem was that the effect was so powerful I almost lost the will to live.

‘Did he not consider that I could have died at the hands of Oblivion?’

Evidence or not, it’s useless if I die before I’m convinced.

Surely he wasn’t just mindless.

‘…Did he perhaps have a certainty that Oblivion would not ‘dispose’ of me?’

Because I possess a Sacred Relic?

Or because he knew I didn’t fall under the ‘disposal target’?

‘…Once I report him, I’ll never know the answers to these questions.’

I sank into thought, fiddling with the wax tablet.

‘Wouldn’t it be better to get as much information about Oblivion from Record as possible first?’

It was a foolish thought, but it felt like a much better option than testing ‘Oblivion’ directly.

If ‘Record’ knows exactly how much control Oblivion has over a target it has once invaded, I won’t have to feel anxious every time I meet Athanas.

‘The problem is how much I can trust Record….’

Even if I brace myself for the risk of facing Oblivion and test it, I can’t get an accurate result.

Just because Oblivion doesn’t appear when I tell Athanas a certain story, can I be certain that Oblivion truly didn’t hear that story?

‘I couldn’t ignore the possibility that it simply didn’t react.’

And there were too many things that could never be known through testing.

Who the ‘disposal targets’ mentioned by Oblivion are, who is paying the price for the Blessing Oblivion uses, how Oblivion can be so strong….

‘But to ask Record something, I have to go to the Main Hall.’

The Main Hall….

The Main Hall, huh.

‘Come to think of it, the reason I decided I would never go to the Main Hall was purely because I didn’t want to run into the Lab Director.’

A pile of bugs in human form.

I absolutely did not want to encounter such a being.

‘…But if there’s one thing I’ve learned this time, it’s that horror is relative.’

I absolutely loathe cockroaches.

But if I were told that either a pit viper, a starving bear, or a cockroach was waiting for me in my room, I would desperately hope it was the cockroach.

‘A cockroach is unpleasant to look at, but it’s not dangerous.’

The Lab Director is the same.

‘First of all, the Lab Director is a person.’

Moreover, he is in a state of being influenced by me.

That means he is an opponent I can attempt to persuade with words when we meet.

‘…Maybe I’ll get used to his looks if I keep seeing him?’

There are cases where people go blind from seeing something too horrific, aren’t there?

Humans are creatures of adaptation.

No matter how bizarre the sight, I’ll grow numb to it if I keep looking.

‘Since he’s an apostle, he’ll be less affected by Oblivion….’

Even if it’s the ‘God of Oblivion,’ he cannot arbitrarily manipulate the memories of an apostle who is directly connected to another god.

Therefore, in the current situation, the Lab Director might actually be the person I can rely on the most.

‘…Not that I want to be the one to initiate contact, though.’

I took off the reliquary I was wearing and hid it under my pillow.

No matter what happened to me, I didn’t want Athanas to be implicated.

‘I have to go to the Main Hall.’

* * *

The Main Hall was still crowded with people.

I pulled my coat’s hood down low and quietly entered the Main Hall.

‘I wondered if I should just grab a passing turtle to make contact….’

Fortunately, as soon as I entered the Main Hall, a mark appeared on the wax tablet.

‘Basement 4th floor, Shelf 32, 4th row, 9th book.’

‘Is it telling me to find a specific book?’

Following the instructions on the wax tablet, I went down to the basement. The basement smelled of cool, damp dust.

As I descended the floors, the number of people gradually decreased.

‘…It’s not leading me into a trap, is it?’

I continued walking, clutching the Sacred Relic tightly.

Finding the book on the corresponding shelf was not difficult.

[Fabio! Over here!]

It was speaking to me from the spine of the book.

Lest anyone see, I quickly pulled the book out.

‘…Why this book of all things?’

Is it some kind of special book?

As soon as I opened the book, the letters melted and disappeared.

‘I wanted to check the contents….’

[Hello, Fabio! This book is within my sphere of influence, so we can talk more freely! It must have been frustrating for you all this time, right?]

‘…It feels strange that a guy who always spoke in five words is suddenly so fluent.’

[If there’s anything you want to ask, ask away! Just use this quill.]

The ink drew a long shape of a quill.

‘Is he joking?’

Half-doubting, I scratched the ink-drawn quill with my fingernail, and I was actually able to pick it up.

‘…It looks flat, but it feels just like a pen.’

When I touched it to the book, it didn’t feel like scratching parchment, but ink appeared wherever I moved the pen.

It was fascinating, but that wasn’t what was important right now.

‘Things I want to ask?’

There are damn many.

[Why did you tell me to look for the name of Oblivion? I almost died because of that!]

[…Almost died? Did you actually find the name of Oblivion?]

‘…What?’

[I told you to do it so you would realize it couldn’t be found anywhere and feel that something was strange….]

‘So the answer was that he had no plan at all.’

…Should I just go back now?

I’m starting to think talking to this bastard is a waste of time.

[Who on earth told you the name of Oblivion? Did you ask an apostle?]

[Athanas investigated it, so I don’t know.]

[Athanas….

The one whose records are twisted?]

‘…Records are twisted?’

[What does it mean for records to be twisted?]

[Curious? If you receive my Blessing, you’ll naturally come to understand what it means.]

‘Yeah, I’m absolutely not taking it.’

Chapter 105