#073

After realizing that the Church of Order was actually a complete disaster, it was only natural that I couldn’t sleep due to anxiety and worry.

The next morning, after a restless night.

I spoke to Elamin, who had entered the room by opening an invisible door as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“Would it be alright if I had lunch with someone else today?”

“…Are you planning to eat with that Holy Knight, Athanas?”

“Ah, how did you know?”

I asked back in surprise, but soon realized it would be stranger if he didn’t know.

How many people in the Capital Church could I possibly know?

And the fact that Athanas had invited me to a meal was something I had mentioned just yesterday.

“No, never mind. You don’t have to answer. I’m the one who brought it up….”

The association triggered a memory of my stupid response—something like “Headbutt?”—in front of Elamin yesterday, and my face flushed bright red.

‘God, I must have looked like such an idiot….’

“And about what you told me yesterday…. I realized I had misunderstood. The Saintess kindly explained everything to me.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“Um, about Casimir….”

“She told me to tell you not to worry, as the discipline was very light compared to the act of arbitrarily disobeying an apostle’s order.”

“That’s a relief! I was worried….”

‘Relief my ass.’

It’s because they give out such slap-on-the-wrist punishments that the Knight Commander never learns to stop acting on his own whims.

The state of the Church of Order is truly pathetic.

The Saintess knows nothing, the apostles do nothing, and the Knight Commander doesn’t do what he’s told….

‘It’s doomed, absolutely doomed.’

“So, after hearing those things yesterday, you’ve changed your mind….”

Elamin’s mustache curved into a pleased arc.

“Does this mean you’re finally in the mood for love?”

“…What?”

Love?

Out of nowhere?

I mean, no matter how obsessed with love he is, why on earth is love coming up just because I said I’d have lunch with Athanas?

‘…Wait.’

The Dark Realm is a place where there is a distinct possibility that a man asking another man, “Would you like to have a meal together?” is actually asking him on a date.

‘Surely not to someone with a charm of 30….’

No, even that Tartarus guy had nothing to lose, and he didn’t reject me when he saw the wrong OK signal I sent.

Even Tartarus didn’t seem like he’d have that kind of taste.

And since Athanas’s preferences have never been mentioned….

‘Who knows, maybe his standards are just that low.’

But just thinking about the possibility that Athanas might feel that kind of attraction toward ‘Fabio’ made me feel like I was breaking out in hives all over my body.

Even though I’m not a die-hard fan of Athanas, I felt like screaming, “The Athanas I know isn’t like that!”

I answered with an awkward laugh.

“Haha…. No way. I’m sure he didn’t ask with that intention.”

“If not, then why would he suggest a meal?”

“That’s….”

‘…Because he has no one else to eat with?’

But then again, that’s also something ‘the Athanas I know’ wouldn’t do.

“Fabio. Do not think too negatively. I am sure there are people who find you attractive.”

‘That’s exactly the possibility I hate.’

“It is a bit a pity that your mustache barely grows, but since shaving off all facial hair is the current trend in the Empire, it’s not a major flaw…. For now, I think you’d look much better if you just tidied up that frizzy hair. I’ll go grab a comb and some scissors right now.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“I guarantee that once you experience it, you’ll feel different. You’ll gain confidence.”

“…Really, it’s really fine.”

“There is no need to be so modest. I do this because I enjoy it. You can tell by looking at my own mustache. Look at this perfectly angled mustache!”

‘He’s completely ignoring what I’m saying.’

Elamin is great in every other way, but his biggest flaw is his mindset where ‘Life minus Romance equals Zero.’

No matter how violently I refuse, to Elamin—whose brain is wired for romance—it probably looks like a shy girl who just arrived in the city from the countryside saying, “There’s no way someone like me would suit such a thing!”

‘Ugh….’

However, since I didn’t want to fight, the best approach in this situation was to just play along.

“I-I just don’t want it to be too obvious that I’m putting in effort….”

The fact that I had to utter such a line was so humiliating that my voice grew smaller, which ironically made it sound more like I was ‘being shy,’ making it quite convincing.

Elamin seemed to find that reason acceptable and nodded.

“I see. Then let’s just stick to combing. I cannot compromise beyond that.”

‘Wait, didn’t I have 100% ownership over my own hair follicles?’

What are you going to do if I don’t compromise?

Are you going to suddenly put me in an armbar and perform a surprise combing while I’m tapping out?

“…That much is fine.”

I gave a small nod.

‘Anyway, I need to build Affinity with Elamin.’

Isn’t he the most certain person who won’t trigger a romance route even if I raise his Affinity?

And well, aside from the pink-tinted lenses over his eyes, he’s a kind person who genuinely wants to help me….

“Lunch alone might be disappointing. I’ll take care of my own dinner, so please don’t worry about me and have a wonderful time.”

“Hahaha….”

Seeing Elamin’s gratified smile made me feel like I was breaking out in hives again.

‘…Should I just give up on building Affinity?’

Just thinking about Elamin asking me tomorrow morning how my date with Athanas went made me want to throw up already.

‘Dammit, it’s not like that!’

* * *

Once I actually arrived at the Branch Office, I couldn’t bring myself to go up the stairs and lingered.

‘Is it really not? Can I be 100% sure?’

It was something I didn’t even want to think about, but the law of the mind is that the more you try not to think of something, the more you do.

The more you want to avoid a thought, the more you should think through it in advance, so that when that dreaded reality actually hits, you can calmly recall your thoughts and respond accordingly….

‘Ugh, my mental state is collapsing.’

Why am I so bothered by this?

Stop overthinking and just be direct.

‘Could Athanas have approached Fabio with ulterior motives?’

…Just imagining that sentence makes me want to scream.

‘No way!’

I screamed internally.

But there was no evidence to support this.

Hadn’t I already experienced how dangerous groundless prejudice could be with the ‘attempted exchange of oral flora’ incident?

So, however terrible it may be, I had to think.

Athanas….

‘This is too hard, let’s just use initials.’

What is the probability that Person A has feelings for Person P?

‘First, let’s set aside the information I know from the game and construct the situation using only the new information I’ve gained.’

This is a world where homosexuality is natural.

Person A asked the unknown Person P, who woke him up, to wake him up again tomorrow.

Person A asked Person P to have a meal together twice.

When he had a nosebleed, Person A asked Person P in a weak voice if they could just stay like this for a little longer.

I analyzed it calmly.

‘…Honestly, if A were a male character and P were a female character, the “ulterior motives” verdict would have been reached at step 2.’

Asking to meet again tomorrow?

And a request that doesn’t seem too difficult but subtly makes the other person mindful of them?

‘This is a textbook move.’

It’s similar to asking a stranger, “Could you hold this for a second?” and handing them a wallet or a watch.

That way, you can strike up a conversation at least once more when getting it back, and you can offer to buy them a drink as a thank you for holding it.

But what if A is Athanas?

‘No way!’

Athanas would absolutely never do that!

I felt like tearing my hair out.

‘No, calm down.’

Actually, whether the probability is high or low doesn’t matter.

The moment the probability is not zero, I simply have to consider that possibility.

If, by some slim, very low chance, Athanas really does have ulterior motives for me?

‘…Then what?’

Am I going to date him?

‘Well, in the current situation, it would be useful.’

If we date, all the hidden players would probably foam at the mouth and pop out.

The aggro would be insane.

‘But I’d be the first one foaming at the mouth.’

Rather than dating Athanas just to find other players, I’d rather just stand here and shout every nickname I know and don’t know.

Besides, time is of the essence; how could I wait for us to date and for rumors to spread?

‘More importantly, the Church of Order is screwed, is this really the time to be agonizing over this?’

Yes, the important thing right now is getting close to Athanas.

Whether Athanas has ulterior motives for me or not doesn’t matter!

Even if he does, I’ll just pretend he doesn’t and make sure the atmosphere never flows in that direction!

‘That’s why I wore the blue Pasia today.’

Elamin offered to lend me a different color, but I refused, saying I “didn’t want to get ahead of myself.”

‘Am I crazy to wear another color?’

Anyway, while eating together, I’ll bring up the story that there was someone who kept hitting on me even though I was wearing blue, and that I found it very unpleasant.

Then, even if Athanas didn’t know what Pasia was, he’d probably get the gist.

After that, I’ll mention that ‘Fabio’ has a very precious and important person, the ‘Count’….

‘Good, perfect.’

Having sorted out my thoughts, I was finally able to climb the stairs.

When I got up, that bastard Athanas was fast asleep.

‘Thank goodness. I was worried because I didn’t know what face to greet him with….’

…Wait, wasn’t that thought just now a bit like a dating sim heroine?

‘Wow, dammit. Here I am, a trash-tier unit, worrying about the fate of the world, and this guy is just sleeping peacefully with a carefree life.’

Yes. This is more like it.

I grabbed a book I had been reading and sat down in front of the sleeping Athanas.

‘Is this the fourth time I’ve seen him asleep?’

Come to think of it, yesterday he had a nosebleed so bad his face turned pale.

‘…Is it okay for the guy who has to save the world to have chronic hypertension?’

Regardless, his complexion looked fine now.

Staring at Athanas, I thought.

‘But he really is handsome.’

Hmm….

Hmmm….

Uuuuhmmm….

‘No, definitely not.’

I ran a quick simulation to try and overcome my narrow-mindedness, but the only result was ‘Hmm…. Impossible.’

Even if he looked like Pell instead of Athanas, a man is a no-go.

‘But what if Athanas were a beautiful girl?’

Hmm….

‘But Athanas’s gender is fixed, while a player’s gender changes depending on the unit. So if one of us has to be a girl, shouldn’t it be my gender that changes?’

In fact, if I had possessed the settings I always played with, I would have become Perpetua, the genius beautiful girl who was abused by her family.

‘If I were a beautiful girl….’

…Stop thinking about useless things.

I focused on the book again.

Soon, the bell announcing noon rang.

“Athanas, wake up.”

Even though I only shook him lightly, Athanas opened his eyes quickly.

“…Thank you for waking me.”

“Are you feeling alright? You had a terrible nosebleed yesterday.”

“I am fine. It was nothing to worry about.”

‘Now I should suggest we eat together….’

It was just as I thought that.

“…You likely have a meal appointment today as well. Enjoy your meal.”

“Ah, yes.”

I nodded reflexively.

‘No, that’s not how this goes.’

“Um….”

“Do you have something to say?”

‘Why aren’t you asking to eat together today?’

But when I tried to say this directly, it felt quite embarrassing.

Perhaps because of the things I had been thinking about earlier, I was overly conscious of it.

It felt even more so because I had coldly rejected him until yesterday.

“…No. It’s nothing.”

Acting like someone who actually had an appointment, I turned and headed for the stairs, only stopping after descending half a flight.

‘Dammit, is being embarrassed the problem right now?’

Leaving like this is even more embarrassing.

Elamin will ask, and what am I going to say then?

“I was too shy to tell him I didn’t have an appointment ㅠ”?

I climbed the stairs again.

‘Stay calm.’

I’m just asking to eat together.

Without any ulterior motives! Just asking to eat together!

It’s not a flirting situation where Athanas is interested in me! Or I’m interested in Athanas!

“…Athanas.”

“Did you leave something behind?”

“I didn’t… leave anything….”

I stole a glance at Athanas’s face.

“Um… I don’t have any lunch appointments… today.”

Because I have a habit of my voice trembling when I’m embarrassed or nervous, my attempt to hide it only resulted in me stuttering.

“…I see.”

Unable to look Athanas in the eye, I continued.

“Are you… not inviting me today?”

“Ah.”

74 – #074