#017

The travel time, which had been tedious and long, passed in an instant the moment I considered it as the remaining span of my life.

During those few days, I went through the six stages of accepting death.

Denial

‘Surely they wouldn’t actually kill me? Even Heretic Inquisitors blessed by heresy are living quite openly!’

Anger

‘Happiness! Mother Aellusia!! I will not forgive you! I’ll curse you with my dying breath! You pieces of shit! Dropping me into a godforsaken place like this!’

Bargaining

‘How can I prove my usefulness so they’ll let me live? Nasir is using the powers of a heretic god for heretic inquisitions. Maybe the utility of the Blessing I possess… damn it.’

Depression

‘Ah, why did I waste my life on a game like this? I said I was quitting every day because it was so filthy, so why didn’t I actually quit? Is this my punishment? For playing a game like this?’

Acceptance

‘Right, it’s better to fold a ruined hand quickly. Let’s just die!’

Positivity

‘Come to think of it, dying now might be the peak? In apocalypse stories, the real winners aren’t the ones who struggle through hell to become the final survivor, but the ones who die in ignorance right before the apocalypse hits, right?’

…Once I had achieved that level of mental victory, I finally found peace of mind.

A person cannot be disappointed if they have no expectations.

Let’s assume, by some miracle, that my connection to the Othergod isn’t discovered and I manage to survive.

Then, the Order Sect—which is essentially blind—will be brought down by a Contractor of the Othergod, and all that remains is a future where the world perishes.

Being executed today vs. dying painfully while witnessing the end of the world in a few years.

If it had to be one of the two, the former didn’t seem so bad.

“That is the bell tower of the Capital Church.”

‘Wow, it looks exactly like it did in the game.’

In the game, it was a bit more broken and stained with blood, but other than that, it was nearly identical.

‘It feels like I’m in VR.’

“Well, is it similar to the bell tower you saw in your dream?”

“…Seeing it in person is so overwhelming that I can’t quite recall how the dream was.”

“Is that so? Well, it was winter in your dream… perhaps you’ll remember something when winter approaches.”

‘I just made that up, but he’s really running with it.’

I had just said whatever came to mind, but from Nasir’s perspective, it had become a revelation delivered in secret by a powerful divinity—one whose Blessing allowed the user to ignore the laws of Loclem.

‘If I make up a few more vague things, maybe they’ll keep me alive until they figure out the intent of the revelation?’

I entertained the thought for a moment, then quickly shook it off.

‘Clumsy lies are found out quickly.’

And if I keep scheming for a way to survive because I’m desperate to live, I’ll only be the one suffering.

‘If I act pathetic and beg to live, there’s a high chance my Affinity will drop…’

In the game, whenever characters appeared who said, “I’ll do anything, just spare my life!”, I used to torment them even more before killing them because they lacked dignity.

‘I’ll just say the dream about the winter bell tower was something I made up because I wanted to go on a trip, and I’ll just get executed before winter.’

When the ‘Stars’ open on Christmas and the Concluder is born, the Order Sect will fall into total chaos.

‘I should be executed before that day comes, so they might at least grant my request to kill me painlessly.’

This was also why I didn’t have much will to survive.

Once the Concluder is born, the atmosphere within the Order Sect will become grim, and living as “one blessed by an unknown Evil God” in the midst of that would be an excruciating ordeal.

“This is the room where the Captain stays.”

Nasir knocked three times.

“It is Nasir, Captain.”

“…Enter.”

As I opened the door and stepped inside, I saw a middle-aged woman with short black hair polishing a sword.

Silver-grey eyes, reminiscent of a bird of prey, turned toward me.

“Are you Fabio?”

“I am.”

Captain Casimir dismissed Nasir with a mere flick of her chin.

As Nasir exited and closed the door, my tension spiked.

‘At the level of Captain, she shouldn’t have to polish her own sword…’

Was she personally handling the sword in her office as a show of dominance, signaling that she could chop my head off instantly if she didn’t like what she saw?

“I have a few questions.”

‘I feel like she’ll bury me right here if my answers aren’t to her liking.’

“First. Is it blasphemy to wish to change a rule that has gained effect through the ‘notarization’ of Loclem?”

‘Suddenly a written essay interview?’

Since Antonio taught me, is she checking how well I’ve mastered the Doctrine?

But I was never taught to the point where I could offer an opinion on a contentious issue.

What I mostly learned was how to read Sacred Script…

“Are you asking if I have been taught about this? Or are you truly curious about what I think?”

“Have you been taught?”

“No, I have not. Therefore, I ask for your understanding if I provide a foolish answer that makes no sense or a problematic one, as it is due to my lack of education.”

“Why should I?”

‘…Huh?’

I froze at the unexpected response.

“Tell me the basis for why you believe I should be understanding.”

‘What is this? Some new concept of a pressure interview?’

I was appalled, but I answered very diligently.

“…Loclem ruled that sins committed in ignorance and sins committed with intent should be dealt with differently. He viewed the sin of the ignorant as lighter because if they had known it was a sin, they would not have done it. Since that is Loclem’s will, I believe those who serve Loclem should view the world by the same standard.

Furthermore, my only wish is to provide an excellent answer. Therefore, if I give a greatly flawed answer, I believed it should be understood as a mistake stemming from my ignorance, regardless of my intention.”

“A mistake due to ignorance is a lesser sin than one committed knowingly, but it is not without sin. Sometimes, ignorance itself is the fault. Even so, why must I be understanding?”

‘Is this bitch for real?’

Aren’t you supposed to give someone the chance to learn before calling them ignorant?

Are you really asking me why I should be forgiven for not learning in an era where there isn’t even compulsory education?

“…Yes. Had I been given the opportunity to fill that ignorance, I would not have made such a mistake. Furthermore, I came here to learn, yet you sought an answer from me before I had learned anything; therefore, Lady Casimir, you should generously understand my ignorance.”

Or you should have called me in to ask after I had learned sufficiently.

As I added that, Casimir’s eyes narrowed.

“You are quite silver-tongued.”

‘Is she mocking me?’

What, did she want me to stutter and fail to answer properly?

What would she gain from that?

Is she some kind of sadist who enjoys watching people tremble and sob?

“Fine. I understand, so try answering the previous question.”

“Could you give me a moment to think?”

Is it blasphemy to change a law notarized by Loclem?

‘This is a question that would take three hours to write an essay for, and she wants a verbal answer.’

Since Loclem is the God of Order, this was undoubtedly a sensitive issue.

Probably dozens of theologians had written volumes of arguments, rebuttals, counter-rebuttals, and counter-counter-rebuttals on this.

But as someone who had never even heard of such debates, I had no choice but to answer based on common sense.

“…How much time do you need?”

“Ah, I have just finished my thought.”

Since I knew nothing, racking my brain for a long time wouldn’t produce a sharp answer.

What could she possibly expect from a serf who wasn’t educated?

This was likely just a question to see if I had the aptitude to learn.

If you have to kidnap one person for grad school—either the one who squeezes out a full page of nonsense despite knowing nothing, or the one who turns in a blank sheet—it’s obviously the former.

In times like this, the content isn’t what matters; it’s the sincerity and attitude of the attempt.

“In my opinion… it is not blasphemy.”

“Why?”

“Because the world changes. When the world changes, it is only natural that the rules governing it change as well.”

“Does that mean Loclem notarized an imperfect rule?”

‘What the fuck?’

I thought she was just checking my attitude!

Why is she suddenly tackling me so sharply? Does she think a serf has the skill to handle this kind of wordplay?

If I say “Yes!” here, I’ll be seen as someone lacking faith…

‘In times like this, answer a question with a question!’

“What is an imperfect rule, and what is a perfect rule? Is a rule only perfect if it is eternal, immutable, and always correct?”

“Then do you believe a rule that must be changed is not imperfect?”

“That is correct.”

Attack the premise of the proposition that changing a notarized law damages the divine dignity!

“I believe a law that does not change to fit the situation is a dead law.”

“…A dead law.”

“Laws and rules are ultimately means to an end. If crossing a river is the fastest way to reach a neighboring village, everyone will be taught that they must cross the river to get there. As that becomes established, crossing the river becomes the natural way to reach the neighboring village.

However, in a situation where that river has dried up and there is no longer a river to cross, if someone were to say, ‘To go to the neighboring village, one must cross the river, but since there is no river, what shall we do!’ and try to dig a new river, everyone would think them foolish.

I believe that not changing the law while the world changes is no different from a person trying to re-dig a dried-up river.”

‘Damn, what a killer analogy.’

This could go in the Talmud.

While I was feeling quite satisfied with my answer, Casimir’s gaze remained cold.

“That is because rules made thoughtlessly by those who cannot see an inch ahead become wrong over time. Do you believe Loclem, the God of Order, was so short-sighted that He notarized a rule without seeing an inch ahead?”

‘She’s unnecessarily persistent.’

“…That must be because we, who must follow that law, are insufficient.”

“What do you mean?”

“Would it be meaningful to tell a mayfly how the summer sun differs from the winter sun? A mayfly only needs to know the path the sun will take today.”

“If we are such ignorant and foolish beings, are we not unfit to even suggest changing the rules?”

“But even a creature that lives for only one day, if it can inherit the wisdom of those who lived yesterday and the day before, can know the change in trajectory, and thus know summer and winter. Because we have language and writing, though we are foolish, we can avoid repeating that foolishness.”

“…Then why must that creature wait to accumulate trial and error? He could simply inform them of the most appropriate law at each changing situation.”

“Because only those who struggle deeply with thought can become wise. If He wanted to raise docile sheep who do not think, He would have done so.”

“Then are you saying Loclem waited for us to realize on our own that the law He notarized is no longer correct, and for us to request that He fix it?”

“If He granted such a request, then yes. I believe that is how it would be.”

In an instant, Casimir’s face contorted.

‘Shit, did I step on a landmine? What? Which part?’

Was it that I dared to speculate on the hidden intentions of a god?

“Then why did He punish the one who requested such a thing? If He had been waiting for such a person, should He not have rewarded them, rather than handing down the harshest punishment and tarnishing their honor?”

‘What is this? Was this an actual event that happened?’

Chapter 18