By Zephyria 
Lоving sоmeone аlwаys cаme with a соrrеsроnding rеsponsibilitу. Whеthеr it was in heаrt, in action, оr evеn in a singlе, trivial wоrd.
Woо-уеon did not wаnt to hаrbor feelings hе could not hаndle. He didn’t wаnt to bе сovered by emоtions that rushed in likе а Swаrm Сlоud, nor did he wаnt to bе swеpt awау by a raging vortеx. Не simply wаntеd tо flоw аlong саlm, pеaceful ripples.
Вut then he mеt Teаcher. Hе lovеd him with a childish hеаrt, and theу reunited аfter hе hаd eхрeriеnсed а hеаrtbreaking brеаkup. Еvеr sinсе he began to like him, Woo-yeon’s heart had always been like a surging sea.
‘Yeon-ah.’
Thus, sinking into the swelling storm was ultimately nothing more than a predetermined sequence of events. The call he heard for the first time in four long years was not as sweet as Woo-yeon had imagined. The bitter taste in his mouth and the stinging sensation in his throat felt like things he would never grow accustomed to, no matter how many times he experienced them.
For exactly one week, Woo-yeon floundered in an overflow of pheromones. Unrefined emotions burst out haphazardly, and sexual desire seethed the moment he opened his eyes. It might have been slightly better if he had taken suppressants, but he lacked the mental leeway to even think of such a thing.
The employees, including the attending physician, habitually left Woo-yeon alone. They did not step in unless Woo-yeon requested it, performing their duties within the minimum necessary scope. Occasionally, Woo-yeon would masturbate while thinking of Do-hyun, only to shed tears as he looked at his bruised wrists.
‘You shouldn’t have been the one to say that.’
How did he know that he was that Seon Woo-yeon? When Woo-yeon couldn’t bring himself to call him Teacher, when he barely managed to call him Seonbae to erase the traces of the past. Out of all those days, exactly when had it been?
While suffering, wrapped tightly in his duvet, his thoughts branched in several directions. In the end, he hadn’t slept with Do-hyun, and he had gained nothing. Futility. Emptiness. A sense of self-loathing stemming from the fact that he hadn’t even become that kind of object to him.
It felt as though everything had truly come to an end now. His wish to stay by his side pretending to be a Hubae had been shattered, and his resolve to give up his feelings after a single experience had failed. All that remained for Woo-yeon was a heart already torn to shreds and irreversible wounds.
“Your pheromones have returned to normal… and all other levels are normal as well.”
Woo-yeon got out of bed after a full week. It was the longest heat cycle of his life and the most painful experience he had ever had. Because the bedroom was a complete mess, the first thing he did upon regaining his senses was move to another room.
“It should be fine for you to go to school around tomorrow.”
The physician said this while glancing stealthily at Woo-yeon’s wrists. The faint bruises that still remained looked like marks of abuse. Knowing this, Woo-yeon pulled down his sleeve to cover his wrists.
“Don’t tell my mother.”
His voice cracked, devoid of strength. His lips were chapped because he hadn’t even been able to drink water properly. While the physician remained silent, Woo-yeon spoke calmly once more.
“As you know, this isn’t a request.”
The physician shut his mouth with a complicated look in his eyes. Usually, Woo-yeon let him report to his mother, so the physician seemed hesitant now that he was told not to.
Swallowing a sigh inconspicuously, the physician spoke cautiously.
“Perhaps some medicine to clear the bruises…”
“I’m fine, so you can just go.”
Woo-yeon intentionally took no measures for his bruised wrists. The deep blue marks served as a medium to vividly remember the events of that day. That Do-hyun had rejected him, that he had suppressed his instincts and stepped back, and that he had drawn a clear, impassable line between them.
“I wasn’t hit. It’s actually the opposite.”
Truly, he was a man who was unlike an Alpha in many ways. He was kind in a way that wasn’t Alpha-like, delicate in a way that wasn’t Alpha-like, and rational in a way that wasn’t Alpha-like. If he had simply lost his reason and pounced on him, Woo-yeon could have comforted himself by thinking that he was merely an Alpha after all.
“Next time, please bring a different type of suppressant.”
Unable to break Woo-yeon’s stubbornness, the physician turned to leave. He wore a worried expression a few times, but it was clear he knew Woo-yeon wouldn’t respond. However, there was a high possibility he would report the matter of the wrists, even if vaguely.
Even after the physician left, Woo-yeon sat on the bed for a long time. In the second-floor bedroom, which he didn’t usually use, the blue sky was visible directly in front of him if he sat up straight. He traced his wrist with his fingertips and counted the number of fluffy clouds floating by.
If Teacher saw these bruises, he would surely wear a sorry expression. Even after what happened between them, he would send a worried gaze with that same kindness.
Though he knew he had to give up now, his heart ached just by thinking of Do-hyun.
* * *
Returning to school after a week, the atmosphere felt strangely bustling. The students were highly excited, and the campus was filled with mysterious piles of trash here and there. Feeling puzzled by the unfamiliar atmosphere, Woo-yeon headed to the lecture hall for his first class on Wednesday.
“Woo-yeon! Are you feeling okay?”
As soon as Woo-yeon entered the lecture hall, Seon-kyu greeted him fussily. He rambled on about how he was worried because he couldn’t get a hold of him, and asking exactly where he had been sick. Seeing him chatter away, it seemed he had been quite worried about Woo-yeon.
“I heard you were sick, but I didn’t know you’d be resting for this long…”
Seon-kyu’s worrying didn’t stop until the professor entered and began the lecture. Woo-yeon learned through someone else’s mouth that his skin had become rough, his lips were chapped, and his face had thinned.
“Ga-ram Noona was worried a lot too. Let’s go to the club room and say hello after class.”
Woo-yeon knew Ga-ram was worried from the messages left on his phone. It seemed she hadn’t dared to call, but there were plenty of messages that felt as if they had voice support. However, because his phone had died in the middle, Woo-yeon only discovered all those contacts this morning.
“Great, let’s ask the Seonbaes to buy us something delicious.”
As soon as the professor left, Seon-kyu prepared to go to the club room. The moment Woo-yeon packed his things, Seon-kyu slung the bag over his own shoulder as if he had been waiting. It was a consideration for his friend who had grown thin (according to Seon-kyu’s claim), but Woo-yeon recalled the memory of Do-hyun using his bag as a hostage.
“Ga-ram Noona might cry when she sees you. I thought she was someone who had lost a puppy.”
According to Seon-kyu, Ga-ram had looked miserable from the day Woo-yeon left. This was because Woo-yeon, who she surely thought would return in a day or two, hadn’t shown up at school for a whole week. She had even tried to visit his house, but Do-hyun had stopped her with a stern face.
“Nothing happened with Do-hyun Hyung, right?”
Woo-yeon, who had fallen silent at the mention of ‘Do-hyun,’ twitched his lips awkwardly upon hearing the following question. When he barely managed to ask back, “Why?”, Seon-kyu furrowed his brows.
“No, it’s nothing major, but the atmosphere has been kind of weird since the day after he dropped you off.”
Instead of asking for details, Woo-yeon calmly waited for the rest. Carefully gauging Woo-yeon’s reaction, Seon-kyu rubbed his chin and spoke.
“He smiles like usual, but there’s something… chilly about it. He didn’t smoke much, but suddenly he’s smoking a ton. And his reactions are a bit slow when you ask him something.”
“….”
Knowing it was pathetic, he felt a bit vindicated. A sense of victory leaked out from the fact that he wasn’t the only one shaken. However, it pained him that the other party was upset despite being the one to draw the line.
“I got dumped.”
Woo-yeon replied calmly and placed his hand on the club room door. In an instant, Seon-kyu stopped dead in his tracks with a blank face.
“…Why?”
“What do you mean, why?”
“No, I mean…”
Seon-kyu mumbled with ambiguous pronunciation. That he didn’t know it would be like this, that there’s no way that’s true. Words denying the situation reached his ears, but Woo-yeon pretended not to hear and opened the club room door.
“Noona, we’re here.”
Ga-ram was sitting precariously on a cot, as she always did. With her already long hair hanging forward, she almost looked like a ghost. Ga-ram, who reflexively looked up, brightened up the moment she spotted Woo-yeon.
“Woo-yeon!”
She strode toward Woo-yeon with large steps. She came close enough to hug him, though she didn’t actually touch him. Her long, monolid eyes were more teary than ever.
“Are you okay now? Is the sickness all gone? Oh my, you’ve become half your size.”
With a few cries of “Oh my, oh my,” Ga-ram examined Woo-yeon from all sides. Seon-kyu had said she looked like she lost a puppy, but she looked more like a large dog welcoming its owner.
While Ga-ram scrutinized Woo-yeon, Seon-kyu entered the room with a slightly uneasy expression.
“Still, I guess the law of original beauty holds true. Even though you’ve gotten gaunt, you’re still handsome, so it’s fine.”
Showing her teeth in a grin, Ga-ram nodded with satisfaction. At her words to eat whatever he wanted today, Woo-yeon awkwardly rubbed his earlobe. He was grateful for the concern, but it wasn’t something that deserved this much attention.
“I wasn’t sick; it was a heat cycle.”
“Heat?”
Seon-kyu tilted his head as he set his bag on the table. As a Beta, the idea of resting for a week due to a heat cycle probably felt awkward. Conversely, Ga-ram’s face became pitying, as if feeling a sense of shared suffering.
“Is your body resistant to suppressants?”
“No, they usually work well, but I think something didn’t fit this time.”
“Ugh, then you must have suffered. Especially since you’re a dominant type… wait.”
Stopping mid-sentence, Ga-ram’s expression hardened instantly. She already looked fierce, but her gaze sank coldly. She narrowed her eyes and asked once more.
“You said it was a heat cycle?”
Woo-yeon nodded slowly. He hadn’t done anything wrong, but he became tense as Ga-ram radiated a scary atmosphere. Her deep brown eyes locked onto Woo-yeon’s.
“That day, did Kim Do-hyun…”
“What about me?”
Before she could finish her sentence, a soft voice was heard from behind Woo-yeon. Feeling a dull pain in his chest, Woo-yeon barely managed to turn his head. Do-hyun, holding the wall next to the door instead of the handle, spoke in his usual gentle tone.
“We’ll have to fix this door.”