By Zephyria 
The fourth Friday of August.
As soon as I opened my eyes, I left the door half-open and waited for the servant. I was a man who was used to waiting and enduring. Nevertheless, I couldn’t stand it for long and picked up a paper knife from early dawn. It was the first letter I had received from Rubel since the Summer Hunting Festival.
I knew it without having to think about it repeatedly. This time, it was truly a love letter. Sweet affection dripped from every single word.
I miss you, I think of you, I long for you… Those lovely phrases were things he had used well before, but there was something new added at the very end in a bold handwriting.
“I wish you were here in front of me right now. I want to see you soon. Mika does too, right? Even if she doesn’t, I wish she would say that she misses me and wants to see me. I’ll be waiting.
-Your Rubel.”
It was an expectation full of conviction.
It was like Rubel to say such a thing. When I thought about how happy he was when I told him that I had warm feelings for Rubel, I felt awkward and cleared my throat.
Whether it was because of that, or thanks to that.
The letter I received today was filled with Rubel’s trivial daily life rather than the state of the empire.
What he’s been eating well lately and the types of fruits he likes, cute complaints about Lucilla who keeps bothering him, several affectionate stories he recently shared with his father, the Emperor, and the story of how he asked Edwin Kiadris to meet, but he’s still worried about what to talk about, and so on.
In every phrase, he wrote a lot of words that were meant to be spoiled, knowing that I would find them cute and lovely. Rubel’s neat voice seemed to be whispering in my ear, and a hot breath escaped me involuntarily.
I was afraid of losing it, so I left the letter behind when I went to class. Nevertheless, every phrase was vivid in my head, and I felt like I was reading it over and over again.
In the morning, I took a class on prices, and in the afternoon, I practiced a new Mind method with Douglas and the two children by my side. When Benjamin grabbed me and asked if something good had happened, I shook my head no. I scolded Bill Brown, who was scanning me with suspicious eyes.
It was late in the evening when I finally sat down in my study and unfolded the child’s letter again.
“Rubel.”
I wrote his name and took a moment to catch my breath.
I wanted to hide my feelings as a habit, but they had already been discovered. It was an affection that would overflow no matter how much I tried to hide it. I hesitated for a long time, not knowing what phrase to start with.
Should I write a love letter altogether? The thought of Rubel blushing and smiling so deeply that his dimples would be deeply indented made my fingertips tingle. I wrote carefully and precisely.
“Rubel.
After receiving the letter you sent early in the morning, I don’t know how the day has passed until the moon is full and dawn has arrived.
It feels like I’ve been thinking about Rubel all day, and it feels like I’ve been thinking about Rubel for days and days. It’s so vague that it’s hard to answer anything with certainty.
I can only hope that you will see it kindly, considering it as the clumsiness of someone writing a love letter for the first time.”
Love letter.
Is it okay to write this word like this?
Rubel’s face with the white hero’s headband kept flashing before my eyes. At first, I was embarrassed, but I got used to the image that kept flashing for a full week. I was waiting for the child to grow into a man, even if I didn’t have to dress him in Central Plains-style clothes.
I let out a boiling breath between my teeth.
But isn’t it a different matter that I love my child and that the child follows me?
I had decided to give way if a better person came along, but it seemed like a bad idea to keep repeating my affection and love to a child who didn’t know anything.
Yes, it would be enough to show a caring side. It would be okay to write words like “I cherish you” or “I miss you,” but I shouldn’t openly show a courting appearance. I made up my mind like that.
While I was hesitating, the tip of the pen dried up, so I wiped it clean with a wet cloth and took out a new piece of stationery again. I was glad that I had prepared in advance, expecting to throw away dozens of pieces of stationery today.
I wrote his name neatly again.
Suddenly, I had a thought. In the Central Plains, a love letter usually meant phrases that subtly flowed out by comparing one’s heart to swallows chirping, flowers blooming, and the moon rising. There were bound to be decent poems here in Sierren as well, since there were so many men of letters.
It would be better to borrow the power of literature than to write down my heart as it is. I took out a romance novel that Young Lady Daisy had lent me a while ago from the bookshelf. I turned the pages one by one, hoping to find subtle and flavorful poems.
…
…?
It was the story of a Duke who ruled the territory under the Yuil Mountains, who fell in love at first sight with a wife who brought gold and silver treasures as a dowry.
The Duke was so overwhelmed by the beauty and loveliness of his wife, who had only been surrounded by precious things. He wanted to feed her good things and dress her in only good things. Because of this, he couldn’t return to the Duke’s castle because he was eating and sleeping in the Yuil Mountains, catching Monsters, and he couldn’t be close to his wife. In addition, he was born with a blunt personality and didn’t know how to say beautiful words.
The Duchess, who had come up from a wealthy Count family in the Southern Plains, was hurt by her husband’s attitude and suffered for several years, withering away and dying. Seeing this, the Duke greatly regretted it and killed the Dragon of the Yuil Mountains, took its heart, and wished to turn back time.
And the Duchess, who had woken up, had the memories of her previous life, and decided that she would no longer love the Duke in this life and filed for divorce…
What is this.
No, what kind of dreamlike sound is this?
The Duke’s attitude of being anxious while watching his wife, who was starting her own business and succeeding, somehow deeply resonated with me. I became focused on each and every one of his words, as he was being greatly scolded for not receiving her beautiful heart in time and acting cluelessly. That’s right, no, it shouldn’t be like this…
Could it be that me going to the Yuil Mountains looks similar to the Duke who left to catch Monsters?
No, that’s not it. I remembered Wesley Kiadris glaring coldly at Rubel, so I couldn’t sit still here. I recalled the tens of thousands of people who died in vain when the Heavenly Demon rose up to take over the Central Plains, because my strength was insufficient.
I pushed the book aside and unfolded Rubel’s letter again.
Weren’t the cheerful, adorable, and affectionate phrases just like the noblewoman in the novel?
Somehow, one side of my heart felt desolate, and I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t find any phrases worth borrowing, and it was past three in the morning. The sentences full of resentment, obsession, and reflection were not suitable for my situation with Rubel… Or, is that really the case?
I ran my hands through my flowing hair and swallowed a painful breath. I deeply sympathized with the characters in the novel who were desperate for love, and I felt anxious as if I had received a farewell notice. I recalled the advice I had heard from Douglas before.
Whatever the content, he said it was better to write the letter honestly.
I decided to answer the child’s words as plainly and honestly as possible. It wouldn’t be a sin to answer honestly what he asked.
As a first greeting, I didn’t add any unnecessary words and just wrote about the weather. After that, I wrote down Rubel’s phrases one by one and wrote my answers to them.
I will try to find and eat the fruits that Rubel likes, I am worried that Lucilla is being mischievous not just for a day or two, I am happy that you had an affectionate and enjoyable time with your father, I am also going to the Magic Tower to train these days, so if you have nothing to say while talking with Edwin, it’s okay to use me as a topic…
I wrote down the answer the child wanted in the last line.
“As you said, I miss Rubel and want to see him.”
And I also thought that I would have trouble making eye contact with the child if I met him because of the nighttime matters I had newly learned about this time, or because of the terrible dream, so I was worried.
Didn’t the Duke in the romance novel not look directly into the Duchess’s eyes for that very reason, and end up seeing his wife die? I shook off the strange sense of déjà vu, and added in a calm handwriting, thinking that I should soothe his heart in advance because I didn’t want to make Rubel feel sad.
“However, I am worried that I will be shy and act reserved in front of Rubel. Even if I show an unsatisfactory appearance, it doesn’t mean that I am avoiding or shunning Rubel, so I hope there will be no misunderstandings.
-Your Mika.”
I carefully read the letter that I had spent a long time on several times and checked it again before putting it in an envelope. I couldn’t bring myself to write that I missed Rubel so much that I saw him in my dreams. It was because I wouldn’t be able to answer if he asked about the contents of the dream.
After that, the red morning sun rose. I hurriedly wrote replies to send to my family. I felt very sorry for constantly putting my blood relatives on the back burner, so I promised that I would definitely spend a lot of time with my siblings during the next vacation.
❖ ❖ ❖
September.
Galeph Fisher Professor specified the exam scope for the continental prices and financial management class. Ivan suggested that we put our heads together, so I promised to do it together on the weekend.
His calm expression somehow bothered me, so I asked him about it, and he said that he had decided to spend time with his new fiancé in the week after the exam, so he would talk to her openly. I couldn’t bring myself to cheer him on.
I faced small Monsters such as Slimes and Goblins in front of Maelo Sanson and several Knights and Wizards. Small Monsters were those that even Sword Expert Martial artists could deal with, so I didn’t like it because it felt like I was bullying weaklings rather than Sparring. I thought they would only be a threat when dozens or hundreds of them gathered.
Edwin made an appointment to meet Rubel in the second week, but after thinking about it several times, he felt awkward and uncomfortable, so he brought up the idea of joining him. However, I refused because I was embarrassed at the thought of being mesmerized by Rubel in front of Edwin. I needed to practice controlling my mind a little more.
I steadily trained for a month and succeeded in achieving Microcosmic Orbit with the new Mind method. Benjamin and Bill still couldn’t fully Circulating Qi on their own. Douglas and Boulder presented the numerous papers they had collected during the summer vacation and explained Sierren’s Sound-Based Skill. I had very little knowledge of the Sound-Based Skill I had encountered in the Central Plains, so it was mostly unfamiliar and not very helpful.
I asked Young Lady Daisy to read a few more romance novels. No matter which story I read, it felt like it was my story, and my heart was heavy. I would have been very distressed if most of the stories didn’t end with “they lived happily ever after.” I was fortunate that I didn’t write the contents of the romance novels on the midterm exam answer sheet.
And so, the third Saturday that I had promised Rubel arrived.