By Zephyria The unresolved anxiety deepened. Kwon Tae-hee found the emotion that was sinking him unfamiliar. As soon as he accurately recognized the cause that had made him so afraid, he began to doubt whether he had Seo Jeong-won properly in his grasp.
He had believed Seo Jeong-won was his. He had clearly thought he held him tightly. But in reality, Seo Jeong-won might be someone who could slip through his fingers at any time.
Kwon Tae-hee wanted to appear composed, knowing how strange he must look to Seo Jeong-won, but neither his physical reactions nor his emotions were under his control. He could only sigh repeatedly. He was anxious, as if something terrible would happen if he let go of Seo Jeong-won’s hand.
“…Executive Director.”
His voice, choked in his throat, echoed dully. Kwon Tae-hee had been burying his face in Seo Jeong-won’s fragile hand, but he immediately raised his head.
“This is stuffy.”
Seo Jeong-won felt his hazy mind and vision gradually clearing. Only then did he notice that Kwon Tae-hee’s eyes were trembling uncontrollably. His face, which was always like smooth porcelain, was deathly pale. The man, who was always composed and relaxed in any situation, was now left with nothing but anxiety. He seemed flustered, unable to skillfully hide his wavering emotions, revealing them completely.
“Is it very stuffy? If you wait a little longer, the medical staff will be here soon.”
Seo Jeong-won blinked slowly at the voice, which was as bad as his face. Was it because he had ended up like this after receiving a Pheromone shower?
“Perhaps, were you surprised?”
“……”
“I’m sorry. I thought I would be okay. They said it would be good for the baby too… I was greedy.”
Seo Jeong-won felt inexplicably sorry at Kwon Tae-hee’s unfamiliar appearance. If he hadn’t insisted on having a Pheromone shower, he wouldn’t have had to undergo emergency surgery like this. It had turned out this way because he had been stubborn. The thought that if he had given birth as planned, no one would have been surprised and he would have met the baby safely made him regret his actions.
But if he could turn back time, would he really make a different choice? Seo Jeong-won was sure that he would probably make the same choice. Because he hadn’t been able to do anything good for the baby throughout the pregnancy, he would have persuaded Kwon Tae-hee, even if he had to be unreasonable. So only half of his apology was sincere.
Seo Jeong-won couldn’t meet Kwon Tae-hee’s eyes any longer and avoided them, feeling as if Kwon Tae-hee could see through his heart.
“Don’t apologize. It’s not something you need to apologize for.”
“……”
“I was surprised. I was really surprised. I thought I was going crazy, worried that something might happen to Jeong-won, but you woke up, and you’re okay. Because you woke up… I’ll be okay soon too. It’s not something you need to apologize for.”
“Still—”
Just as he was about to respond to the quietly echoing voice, the hospital room door opened. Seo Jeong-won’s gaze turned towards the sound of rushing footsteps. Kwon Tae-hee, who was holding his hand tightly beside him, was taking deep breaths to calm himself. When he turned his head again to check on him, the expression that had been showing agitation was somewhat under control.
“How are you feeling now?”
Seo Jeong-won met the doctor’s eyes as she stopped near the bed.
“I feel a bit hazy, like I just woke up from a nap, but I’m conscious.”
“Where does it hurt? Are you dizzy, or does your stomach hurt?”
“Not yet.”
Seo Jeong-won answered the doctor’s questions diligently and moved his hand. As he mumbled that he was stuffy while fumbling for his mask, a nurse soon approached and removed the oxygen mask.
“But the baby, is the baby okay?”
“Yes, the baby is fine. The baby’s weight is higher than what we saw on the ultrasound, and the development is better than we expected. The baby is currently being monitored in the neonatal intensive care unit and will be moved to the newborn nursery tomorrow morning. Visiting hours will be available from tomorrow morning.”
“…That’s a relief.”
“The mother endured well until 34 weeks, so the baby was able to be born healthy. You’ve worked hard.”
She smiled brightly and praised Seo Jeong-won’s efforts. She felt a brief pang of sympathy as she looked at his young and gaunt face, but quickly shook it off.
“Even if you feel okay now because the anesthesia hasn’t worn off completely, your stomach may hurt when you fully wake up. The IV drip connected here is a painkiller, so press the button firmly when you feel pain. If you feel too dizzy or the pain is unbearable, please call the medical staff.”
A calm and kind voice flowed out. Kwon Tae-hee, who was listening to the explanation beside Seo Jeong-won, joined the conversation.
“When can he have water or food?”
“Ah, you can have water right away. We will arrange for you to have food from tomorrow morning.”
The doctor carefully lifted Seo Jeong-won’s blanket to check the surgical area and was relieved that the bleeding had stopped well. Then, after organizing her thoughts for a moment, she opened her mouth.
“I sincerely apologize for causing great concern and inconvenience to the patient and the Executive Director due to this incident. I am very sorry that an unfortunate situation occurred due to a rash proposal. If you ask for responsibility in any form, I will accept it without evasion. I am truly sorry.”
“Yes? Ah… no, that’s.”
Seo Jeong-won, flustered by the sudden apology, hesitated before slowly continuing.
“Anyway, it was my choice. Uh, I woke up well, and the baby is okay… so I’m okay too. I’m okay.”
“…I’m really sorry. If you have any questions or discomfort, please feel free to tell us at any time. Then I’ll see you at the morning rounds tomorrow.”
She bowed politely without loosening her stiff expression and turned around. The medical staff who had followed her also rushed out as they had come in.
Seo Jeong-won watched their receding backs before slightly moving his head to check on Kwon Tae-hee. He had already erased his composed attitude and returned to a deathly pale face, consumed by anxiety.
“Um…”
As if reacting to the small voice, Kwon Tae-hee’s gaze turned to Seo Jeong-won’s lips.
“I’m thirsty.”
“Ah.”
He jumped up as if remembering something he had forgotten and returned with a bottle of water from the table. Then, he left the room quickly after saying he would be back in a moment, unsure if he could raise the bed.
Kwon Tae-hee carefully adjusted the angle of the bed so that Seo Jeong-won would not be uncomfortable, and tilted the water bottle to his dry lips. Seo Jeong-won, who was swallowing the trickling water with a tantalizing feeling, groaned softly at the pain that suddenly came from inside his stomach.
“Does it hurt? Wait a moment, I’ll call the doctor again—”
“No. It’s not that, it’s just that I think it hurts as I wake up from the anesthesia. It’s not a sudden pain.”
Seo Jeong-won pushed away the water bottle, stopping Kwon Tae-hee, who was reacting excessively. He nonchalantly wiped his wet lips and sent a worried look. That unfamiliar appearance was both unfamiliar and funny.
“What’s so funny?”
“I don’t know. It’s strange that there’s no baby in my stomach, and it’s also strange to see Executive Director like this…”
“Am I ridiculous? Or pathetic?”
Seo Jeong-won quickly shook his head at the awkward smile and sinking voice.
“It’s not that, but I guess it’s funny.”
A smile was drawn on Seo Jeong-won’s lips as he avoided his gaze. Kwon Tae-hee watched the captivating sight and only then did he feel the anxiety slowly subside.
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Seo Jeong-won’s hospitalization lasted longer than expected. This was because his recovery rate was slower than that of mothers who gave birth at the same time. He felt tired easily even with the slightest movement, and spent most of the day visiting the baby and then sleeping.
The doctor visited the hospital room every day to check on him and said that he was recovering and would be fine soon. She asked if there were any other uncomfortable parts and recommended a postpartum examination. Usually, it is performed 4 weeks after childbirth unless the mother is in a high-risk group, but in Seo Jeong-won’s case, he was hospitalized for a long period of time due to the risk of premature birth, and his current recovery rate is slow, so she added that it would be good to have a full body scan.
However, the test results revealed no abnormalities. Bone density was low and anemia levels were high, but that was also the average level for mothers immediately after childbirth. As of now, it could only be explained as postpartum sequelae.
“Does giving birth make you this weak?”
Kwon Tae-hee, who had a short interview with the doctor outside the hospital room, reacted as if he had heard something unbelievable.
“That’s how it is for now.”
“……”
“Also… something you should be aware of is that since you have given birth, you will soon have Heat. The possibility of pregnancy is high during that period.”
She carefully watched Kwon Tae-hee’s reaction and continued politely.
“Your partner is young, and even if he is recessive, the location of the uterus is very good, so—”
“Explain it briefly.”
“Yes, if you become pregnant again, the risk of miscarriage is high in your current health condition. Even if many people have children in close succession, I wonder if you should use contraception during this Heat…”
Kwon Tae-hee listened to the doctor’s cautious advice and glared at her with an expression that seemed to say, ‘What kind of bullshit is this?’ Did he look like a fool in the eyes of others, enough to repeat this terrible thing he was going through twice? Or did he look like a lust-crazed maniac? Either way, he felt very unpleasant.