By Zephyria Seo Jeong-won’s psychiatric treatment began. Three times a week, a psychiatrist came up to Seo Jeong-won’s room and spent about 30 minutes counseling him to identify the problem. He diagnosed Seo Jeong-won’s symptom of being unable to talk to certain people, namely Kwon Tae-hee, as selective mutism. He explained that this was a symptom that only appeared in specific situations or with specific people and was a type of anxiety disorder.
“What is that? Is it like aphasia?”
“In the case of aphasia, the language ability itself is lost due to brain damage. Selective mutism is a condition in which one cannot speak due to psychological factors.”
“What is the treatment? Does it get better with counseling alone?”
“It is best to combine psychotherapy and medication, but since you are currently pregnant… we will only proceed with psychotherapy for the time being. For now, the priority is to relieve stress through consistent counseling.”
Kwon Tae-hee listened to Seo Jeong-won’s symptoms, treatment methods, and treatment plans in the reception room prepared separately in the VIP ward, and asked what efforts he should make.
“Please refrain from urging Executive Director to speak or asking questions that induce answers, and it is good to relax him by doing everyday activities together.”
“Everyday activities? As you can see, Jeong-won can’t do anything but lie down right now.”
“How about doing prenatal education together? You can read him books or listen to music together. I will also… try to find something you can do together without moving. And you said it’s uncomfortable that you don’t get an answer back, but communicating through writing is also a way.”
“Haa… Okay, I understand. Thank you for your hard work today.”
Kwon Tae-hee got up from his seat first. He tried to think positively about the current situation. First of all, it is good news that Seo Jeong-won’s symptoms have been clearly diagnosed. Rather than an unknown disease or an unexplained cause, he now knows that it is a symptom that only appears in front of him, so he only needs to find an answer on how to solve it. It was cumbersome, but also relieving.
In addition, he thought that he should start the conversation that he had been postponing until after Seo Jeong-won’s delivery, even if it was little by little. He couldn’t be sure in which direction it would affect him, but if Seo Jeong-won was under so much stress that he was in this state, it seemed that avoiding it unconditionally was not the answer.
Kwon Tae-hee, who moved slowly and arrived in front of the hospital room, composed his expression. At the same time, he prepared a soft and comfortable Pheromone that would help the mother and fetus, and opened the hospital room door as it was.
Seo Jeong-won, who was lying stably in the hospital room where the Pheromone he had released before leaving the room was floating subtly, hardened his expression as soon as he checked who was coming in. He could see him flinching noticeably.
“What were you doing?”
Ah, he messed up from the start. He was supposed to avoid questions that required answers. As expected, Seo Jeong-won pursed his lips to answer, then distorted his eyes.
“…You’re just lying down, so this question doesn’t make sense.”
“……”
“The doctor said that Jeong-won’s condition is quite stable. So he said that a short walk is possible, shall we go out for a while?”
Perhaps it was because his pupils were black, but his agitation was particularly visible. In the hesitant look, a subtle sense of anticipation could be seen. Kwon Tae-hee confirmed the short nod instead of an answer and smiled softly.
“Okay, it’s a little better to hear an answer like that. Good job.”
Although it was a soft expression, his face, which was awkward because it was made up, brightened in an instant. Kwon Tae-hee approached Seo Jeong-won and praised him as if he had heard a truly satisfactory answer. He wanted to take out all the words that were circling in his head, but he swallowed them because he knew that they would not be heard well in those small ears.
As the number of words he had to hold back increased, the fact that Seo Jeong-won was vulnerable to stress was deeply engraved in his mind.
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Seo Jeong-won had many conversations with the psychiatrist who visited his room at certain times, but he still couldn’t make a sound in front of Kwon Tae-hee. To be exact, even if he tried to answer, his throat was blocked the moment he opened his mouth. The only thing that had improved from before through treatment was that he was no longer afraid of him as he used to be.
Before, every time he was urged to answer if he didn’t want to, his back was soaked with cold sweat, but now, even if he simply nodded or shook his head, Kwon Tae-hee showed him a pretty smile in response. He even added compliments that he did well.
From one day, a paper and pen were placed on the table. Kwon Tae-hee asked if he could write down what he wanted to say or answer on paper. His voice and attitude were very polite and cautious.
Seo Jeong-won didn’t bother to refuse. He was also frustrated because the expressions he could make with just nodding were limited, so he thought that if he wrote it down, he could convey his intentions more accurately.
“How are you feeling today?”
“……”
“Do you want to write it down? I’m curious.”
At Kwon Tae-hee’s suggestion, Seo Jeong-won moved his hand. He turned the cover of the memo pad to the back and left a short message on the white space that was revealed.
I’m fine.
“That’s a relief.”
Kwon Tae-hee checked the handwriting, which was worse than he thought, and smiled without showing it. He imprinted the pressed letters in his eyes and recalled the story he had heard from the psychiatrist who regularly consulted with Seo Jeong-won.
The doctor compared Seo Jeong-won’s psychology to a child playing hide-and-seek. He said that he was hiding in the closet, and he was very anxious because he didn’t know when he would be caught. Therefore, opening the door recklessly was not a good way. He added that being generous and taking a step back, like an Hyung looking after his younger sibling, would also have a positive effect on the other person.
Kwon Tae-hee questioned the expression, which was somewhat difficult to understand. He wanted to hear straightforward advice rather than talking around. He explained the relationship between him and Seo Jeong-won and asked which approach would work. He still didn’t know why he had to do it, but at the words that Seo Jeong-won’s forgiveness and understanding were needed, the doctor looked surprised for a moment, but soon pondered and nodded.
After some time, the doctor carefully conveyed his thoughts. He described Seo Jeong-won as an immature person with no social experience. Therefore, he added that he easily trusts others and is quite generous in forgiving.
However, he cautiously informed that as he has a good nature, his moral standards are higher than others. In addition, he said that he has been experiencing affection deficiency and emotional deficiency for a long time without even knowing it, so he has a compulsion to act like a good child. He often reads people’s faces, and he is keenly aware and anxious when the attitude of someone who liked him changes.
Although it is a malicious method, he added that the most effective way to win the heart of a person with this tendency is to use that anxious psychology. However, he urged that the person should never know about this method because it is not ethical.
He said that he is only keeping his mouth shut in front of Kwon Tae-hee now, but if his heart is hurt more than now, he doesn’t know what choice he will make then. He said that since his Hyung’s suicide had already had a great impact on Seo Jeong-won, he would not hesitate to make a choice that would harm himself.
Kwon Tae-hee was confident that Seo Jeong-won would not find out that he was using his psychology in reverse. There is no eternal secret, but the secret I have hidden will be with me until the end.
And he was convinced that the time had come.
“…Shall we talk about Hyung today?”
He decided not to postpone it any longer. He must open Seo Jeong-won’s heart before it closes further. And that, very wide open.
“I was thinking of going to the columbarium together when Jeong-won gets a little better. I thought you’d be curious.”
“……”
“I’m still just planning it because I haven’t gotten that much better yet.”
Kwon Tae-hee sighed deeply as he looked at the docile face towards him. He slightly wrinkled his eyes to show that he was also hurt. While doing so, he organized his thoughts on where to start. All the contents were so shocking that he didn’t really want to say them out loud.
“You roughly know how I met Seo Gyu-won.”
At the low-pitched voice, Seo Jeong-won nodded. Kwon Tae-hee scratched the back of his neck with his hand as if he was a little frustrated, and opened his mouth after a long time.
“At that time, I only considered him as a partner. As a member who works together on the project called marriage.”
“……”
“I thought we were matching up. So I treated him kindly. Seo Gyu-won was one of the people who helped me with my work.”