By Zephyria “Give me the bill. I didn’t come here to get something like this for free, so take the money.”
“This is a gift…”
“Forget it. It’s not like it costs that much that I’d take it as a gift. I’ll pay and take it.”
At the curt reply, Seo Jeong-won fidgeted and mumbled apologies again.
“That’s not it, I’m sorry.”
Seo Jeong-won had nothing else to say, so he just repeated his apology. Seeing a hint of displeasure on a face that resembled Seo Gyu-won’s made him feel indescribably strange. It really felt like he had made a slip of the tongue to his Hyung.
“I said it’s okay.”
“Hyung…”
Seo Jeong-won, also feeling dejected, drooped his eyes. He couldn’t even take the card that floated in the air and was just fidgeting with his hands when the entrance door fluttered open. Both of their gazes turned to the back at the same time.
“Seo Jeong-won! Food— oh, what’s this. A customer…”
Kang Da-hyun, who was coming in with a black plastic bag full of apples, widened his eyes for a moment.
“Gyu-won Hyung?”
Before he could even stop him, Seo Gyu-won’s name slipped out of Kang Da-hyun’s mouth. Seo Jeong-won frowned as if embarrassed and came around the table used for repotting.
He quickly approached Kang Da-hyun, who couldn’t close his mouth in surprise. He pushed up his chin with the back of his gloved hand to close it for him.
“It’s not him.”
“It’s not? Then who is it? A relative?”
“…Just someone.”
He didn’t know how to explain Song Hae-seop, so he was at a loss for words at the question asked in a lowered voice.
“An acquaintance.”
“An acquaintance? Where do you have an acquaintance? But, wow. I was really surprised. I haven’t seen Hyung since elementary school, but… I thought it was Gyu-won Hyung as soon as I saw him.”
Kang Da-hyun, who was glancing at Song Hae-seop, put his lips right next to Seo Jeong-won’s ear.
“But he kind of… looks like you. How did you become friends? Did you become friends because you look alike?”
Kang Da-hyun, who was holding Seo Jeong-won’s arm and walking with small steps, bowed his head towards Song Hae-seop, who was staring intently at him.
“Hello.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
Kang Da-hyun smiled brightly as a habit. He familiarly pulled out a steel table chair and sat down, letting out a long sigh with a lament that he was exhausted.
“Aren’t you busy?”
“I’m busy. It’s like I’m going to die just because you’re gone, man. Can you see how red this is here? I’m doing so much scissor work to cut off the stems.”
“…Sorry. But shouldn’t you go back quickly?”
“He seems free, so why isn’t he doing it.”
Kang Da-hyun didn’t answer Seo Jeong-won, who was trying to kick him out as soon as he arrived, and muttered to himself.
In the end, Seo Jeong-won left the words to wait a moment and approached Song Hae-seop again, examining his face. His sulky expression hadn’t changed, as if he hadn’t cheered up.
“Hyung, it’s really because there’s nothing to see here. I wanted to have a meal together, but there aren’t any decent restaurants… It’s not because I’m uncomfortable.”
“I almost felt really sad. You called me Hyung, so I really felt like I had a younger brother, but I thought I was the only one who felt that way.”
“…This is a gift. You don’t have to pay. You must have felt good all the way from Seoul, but I’m sorry that I ruined it all.”
“It’s okay. If you’re sorry, let’s have a meal later. Next time, Jeong-won should come to my cafe.”
Song Hae-seop stared at the lucky tree that Seo Jeong-won held out, then reluctantly accepted it. He was already full of affection, boasting that the leaves had bloomed beautifully.
“Don’t come out.”
Song Hae-seop, who stopped Seo Jeong-won from seeing him off, reluctantly walked alongside him. He also made eye contact with the man sitting at the table, observing him as he crossed the flower garden.
“Drive safely.”
Kang Da-hyun reflexively bowed his head. Song Hae-seop responded with a good-natured, polite smile.
“Next time, Jeong-won should really come.”
At the affectionate voice, Seo Jeong-won nodded. He carefully placed the box containing the plant in the back seat of the parked car and closed the door.
Song Hae-seop opened the driver’s seat and was about to get in, but then he pulled back and lightly hugged Seo Jeong-won.
“Your friend was calling me something. Gyu-o? Gyu-eon?”
“Ah… Did you hear that?”
“What was it?”
“It’s nothing much, it’s my Hyung. He must have mistaken you because you look alike. It’s been a long time since my friend has seen him too.”
Song Hae-seop didn’t ask further, his curiosity satisfied, and patted Seo Jeong-won’s shoulder.
“We must look a lot alike. Enough for your friend to mistake me.”
“I guess so.”
“I was too upset earlier and didn’t act like a Hyung. I won’t do that again in the future.”
“Hyung… you don’t have to do that. Don’t worry about it.”
Song Hae-seop deliberately blamed himself, looking at the deflated Seo Jeong-won. The more he did this, the more Seo Jeong-won would feel sorry and not know what to do.
He hadn’t done anything wrong, but he was so humble that he could make him cry if he showed a little more disappointment. Does he have a brother complex or something? He seems to react particularly to relationships like Hyung and younger brother.
Song Hae-seop carefully observed Seo Jeong-won’s emotions, which were revealed every moment. He felt sorry for his pure and innocent appearance, which seemed somewhat lacking, but even that was just as annoying.
He hadn’t done anything bad, but it was ridiculous to feel guilty towards him.
“I’m going.”
“Yes, see you next time.”
Seo Jeong-won thought about whether there would be a next time, but on the other hand, he wanted to visit his cafe at least once.
He couldn’t be cold to Song Hae-seop, who had a face similar to Seo Gyu-won’s. He was extremely careful not to hurt him. He even had the desire to see him often, sit across from him and have a meal, or have a long conversation.
“What’s wrong? Are you sick somewhere? You’re pale. You look tired.”
“That… the person who was here before, you said he liked Kwon Tae-hee. Do you know what happened after it ended?”
“Ah, that person? Come to think of it, I didn’t hear what happened? Why didn’t I hear?”
Song Hae-seop tilted his head. Then, with a memory that suddenly came to mind, he exclaimed, “Ah.”
“Uncle Sik suddenly appeared and the conversation ended. I’ll have to ask him when I see him later. I’ll tell you after I hear. Jeong-won was curious too? You acted like you weren’t interested in that kind of story at all.”
“…”
“Anyway, I’m going. Take care of your health and see you again.”
He looked at the gloomy face with worried eyes and slowly left the parking lot. He looked at Seo Jeong-won, who was standing still without moving, in the rearview mirror and reached his arm out the window. He gently waved his small, delicate hand.
Seo Jeong-won bowed his head, watching the taillights disappear into the distance. He couldn’t hide his stiff expression and rubbed his cheek.
The story that had faded away like a white vapor filled his head clearly.
Seo Gyu-won, who liked Kwon Tae-hee so much that Kwon Tae-hee was disgusted by him.
That day, Kwon Tae-hee said that Seo Gyu-won had suddenly changed his mind. Did that mean that he had come to love Kwon Tae-hee, contrary to their promise?
If so, did he even try to persuade him not to love him? Then the fall accident… was it an impulsive act when they decided to take some time apart for a few days?
If the arbitrarily inferred assumption was true, wouldn’t it be too terrible? This thing I’m doing now… this thing I’m doing for Hyung, is it really for Hyung?
Seo Jeong-won, unable to enter the flower garden and standing alone outside, couldn’t hide his confusion and covered his face with his hands.
He couldn’t even use the expression that he had buttoned up the wrong button from the beginning. He didn’t even feel like he had taken the wrong path.
It only became clear that the choice he thought was the second best was the worst.
* * *
All sorts of delusions tormented Seo Jeong-won all day long. He became paler as time went by, like a withering plant.
Dirty fantasies about Hyung and Kwon Tae-hee filled his head. He was thinking that it would be awkward to meet Kwon Tae-hee with these thoughts, when he received a call saying that he was busy.
Seo Jeong-won replied that he understood at the voice telling him to stay put this week. Kwon Tae-hee’s mood, conveyed through the receiver, didn’t seem bad, as if he hadn’t been told that Song Hae-seop had visited the flower garden. Rather, he seemed full of regret.
—I’ll be able to make time next week.
“…Yes, take care of your meals.”
—Your body.
“It’s gotten better.”
He had a slight fever and a throbbing stomachache from the afternoon, but he lied because Kwon Tae-hee couldn’t check anyway.
The question of whether his voice was bad and whether he was really okay was repeated, but he answered briefly. Seo Jeong-won changed the subject by saying that the flower garden had more customers these days.
—I’ll contact you when I have time.
“Executive Director.”
—Yes.
“Then, can I visit Hyung this weekend? I’m not saying I’ll go both days, just one day, Saturday or Sunday.”
He hesitated, and the answer didn’t come easily. He waited silently, but he became anxious, thinking that he wouldn’t allow it.
Should I have lowered my posture more and asked? He was about to call Kwon Tae-hee again, moving his lips.
—Go ahead.
“Thank you. I’ll contact you.”
—Okay.
It was a short call, but it felt long. His chest was tingling throughout the call. It was difficult to distinguish whether the pain he felt was guilt or resentment.
The hand that was stroking his burning cheeks touched his forehead, which felt hot. The moment he closed his dry eyes and raised his head, his nose stung. He felt something thin flowing down.
“Ah…”
The symptom that was said to be able to occur when taking suppressants made him feel endlessly depressed.
The onset of fever was not caught, it caused pain that stabbed his stomach from time to time, and as soon as he took the suppressant, he kept getting nosebleeds. Gloom spread like ink.
He had nowhere to ask if these were also side effects of the suppressant, so he was just enduring it.