“Park Hae-jun?”
Just as he was about to pass through the lake walkway connected to the back door, someone called Park Hae-jun’s name. When he turned around, there stood Jo Min-gyu, a senior from his high school film club with whom he had made short films.
Park Hae-jun asked in a dumbfounded voice, “Senior Jo? Didn’t you join the military?”
“I returned to school this semester. But that’s not what’s important, man. What on earth happened? Let’s talk.”
Senior Jo pulled Park Hae-jun to a bench. Park Hae-jun followed obediently. After being ignored all day, meeting someone who acknowledged him made his heart swell.
“When I returned to school, everyone was talking badly about you. What exactly happened?”
“Well, you see…”
As Park Hae-jun was about to speak, he felt the stares of students watching him and shrank back.
“I can’t talk here.”
“Then where should we go? Want to get a drink? There’s a decent place nearby.”
“No, somewhere near the school is a bit…”
As Park Hae-jun trailed off, Senior Jo belatedly made an “Ah” sound.
“Want to come to my place? It’s just two bus stops away.”
Saying that, Senior Jo took off his hat and placed it on Park Hae-jun’s head. Only then could Park Hae-jun lift his head.
Senior Jo’s home was a studio apartment almost as old as Park Hae-jun’s. Given the nature of a studio where everything was visible, despite being there for the first time, Park Hae-jun set out a table and took out drinks and snacks from the refrigerator as if it were his own home.
“Now tell me.”
When Senior Jo opened the conversation, Park Hae-jun began his story. He talked non-stop for nearly five hours, and by the end, half of it was drunken rambling.
Senior Jo silently listened to all of it. He didn’t offer comfort, but Park Hae-jun felt comforted. It was because of Senior Jo’s final words, “I believe you.”
“It won’t be easy. There are so many fans of Professor Seok at our school. I also came to this school because I respect that professor. With an undergraduate trying to tarnish the reputation of such a person, the school won’t take your side either.”
Senior Jo held Park Hae-jun’s hand.
“Still, you need to fight. If you had decided to let it go from the beginning, that would be one thing, but as things stand, you must win. Otherwise, you’ll be buried.”
“Don’t worry, senior. I have someone helping me. If that person steps in, I think I can win.”
“Who is it?”
“There is such a person.”
Senior Jo wanted to know more, but Park Hae-jun held back. In the end, Senior Jo squeezed Park Hae-jun’s hand and said, “I believe in you. If you need my help, just say so anytime. I’ll help you.”
Those words were truly a great comfort.
***
“I’m back.”
As he staggered through the front door, a tall man rose from the darkness. Even though he knew the only tall man living in this house was Lee A-gon, Park Hae-jun flinched momentarily. Lee A-gon, approaching with an expressionless face and looking down at him, felt unfamiliar.
“Where have you been?”
“School.”
Not wanting to reveal that he had been intimidated even briefly, Park Hae-jun answered with deliberate irritation.
“Why did you go to school?”
“Just to check out the atmosphere before returning to my studies.”
Park Hae-jun kicked off his sneakers by stepping on the heels and entered the living room.
“You’re planning to go back to school?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why? Because I need a diploma to make a living.”
The tension eased as they conversed. Park Hae-jun stepped onto the second-floor stairs while taking off his coat. Lee A-gon followed closely.
“Why are you worried about that? You have me.”
“What does that mean?”
“Tell me if there’s something you want. You don’t need to work hard to achieve what you want. Naturally, you don’t need a school diploma either. You don’t need to earn money.”
Huh, as if. Park Hae-jun chuckled. “I appreciate it, but I still want a school diploma.”
“Why didn’t you answer the phone?”
“Phone?”
“I kept calling. Why didn’t you answer?”
Park Hae-jun checked his phone. Dozens of calls from an unknown number starting with 02 were logged. He had blocked it thinking it was spam because there were so many calls, but it must have been Lee A-gon.
“Sorry. I met a senior I know at school and was drinking at his place. But where is this number from? Did we have a phone at home?”
“What did you do at your senior’s home?”
“I told you, we drank.”
“Just drinking?”
“… What else would there be besides drinking?”
Lee A-gon just stared at Park Hae-jun with a pointed gaze without answering. It was the kind of stare that made one unnecessarily anxious.
“Did you not want to see me?”
Ignoring the question, he asks another.
What’s with him today? Park Hae-jun frowned.
“What do you mean, not want to see you? I see you every day.”
“But not every moment.”
“What?”
“Every moment, every second, all day long. We can’t see each other like that.”
“What?”
Park Hae-jun laughed out loud at the continued absurd statements. Lee A-gon’s eyes sharpened.
“How can a person possibly be with another person every single moment?”
“Why not? That’s how it was there. Until we came here, we could be together like that.”
“That was a special circumstance.”
In the safe house in Gyeonggi-do, the two of them were together almost every moment. That’s how unstable Lee A-gon’s condition was.
But people can’t continue living like that forever. People need to go out and live their lives. People need to meet others, live, earn money, and communicate.
“How could you come home this late when you clearly knew I was waiting? You didn’t even answer my calls. You don’t even want to see me, do you? I was really struggling. I felt like I was going to die without you.”
“What do you mean without me? The assistance?”
That couldn’t be. He was providing plenty of assistance. They had petting and oral sex every day, and penetrative sex once every three or four days.
“Hey, I told you it’s too much. Yours is seriously as big as a PET bottle, I’m telling you. How can I put that in my body every day? Cut me some slack.”
“…”
Lee A-gon stared at Park Hae-jun without answering. Seeing his lower lip turn white from being bitten by his front teeth, Park Hae-jun somehow felt like he had done something wrong.
“Is this senior you drank with a man?”
“Huh? Yeah.”
“What else did you do besides drinking?”
“What are you talking about?”
“What did you do? With that male senior at his house.”
“What do you mean, what did we do? We just kept drinking.”
“You’re lying.” Lee A-gon’s tone turned sharp.
Only then did Park Hae-jun realize something was off about him.
“You’re saying nothing happened when you drank alone with a man? That a drunk man left you alone? Don’t lie to me.”
“Are you saying I should have been sexually harassed by a man while drinking?”
“Yes!” Lee A-gon shouted with wide eyes.
Park Hae-jun was so dumbfounded that he was at a loss for words.
What does he mean I should have been harassed?
Park Hae-jun stumbled through a non-explanation.
“Lee A-gon, listen. I’m a man.”
“So what?”
“What do you mean ‘so what’? I’m—”
“Tell me honestly. Did you kiss that man, your senior?”
Park Hae-jun was speechless again. Lee A-gon stood there with eyes dripping with resentment and injustice.
“Did you open these lips for that man? No, right? You’ve only opened them for me so far, right? Right?”
“…Lee A-gon.”
“What about this?”
Lee A-gon stepped forward and suddenly grabbed Park Hae-jun’s crotch. Park Hae-jun gasped and stepped backward.
“Did you show this too? To that man you call your senior… huh, did you show it, hyung?”
“Will you seriously stop it?”
“I’m jealous.”
“Hey.”
“Why did you drink alone with another man? Didn’t you want to see me? Do you know how much I was burning up inside? You didn’t even answer my calls. That’s too cruel.”
“…”
“I thought I was going crazy not seeing you.”
His voice became wet with emotion, and finally tears fell down Lee A-gon’s cheeks. Seeing that, Park Hae-jun’s rising anger subsided.
Right, what was the point of getting angry at someone who wasn’t normal? Lee A-gon still lacked too much common sense about the world.
“I’m going crazy with anger that you drank with another man. Not coming home until seven o’clock. Not answering your phone.”
“Lee A-gon. Seven o’clock is early evening.”
“Hyung, please. Don’t ever do this again. Do you know how anxious I was? It felt like my blood was drying up. Hyung, please let me…”
Lee A-gon clung to Park Hae-jun. So desperately.
“Let me trust you.”
With a slump, Lee A-gon’s body slid down to Park Hae-jun’s feet. He looked up at Park Hae-jun with distinct black eyes filled with tears. He looked just like a puppy about to be abandoned. He seemed like a dog clinging to its owner’s feet, begging not to be left behind.
Park Hae-jun rubbed his tired eyes. His will to fight had already evaporated. This kid was still too young and fragile. In a way, he was like someone who had just hatched from an egg. Perhaps it was natural for him to be fixated on his first assistant.
“Okay. It was my fault.”
Park Hae-jun gently embraced Lee A-gon. Lee A-gon’s crying grew more sorrowful.
“I’m sorry for being late. It’s all my fault.”
“Not answering… not answering the phone too.”
“I didn’t answer because I didn’t know it was your… Yes, that was my fault too. Yes.”
Park Hae-jun, who was about to defend himself, gave up and admitted his wrongdoing when Lee A-gon looked up at him with those black eyes full of tears. Only then did Lee A-gon finally stop his sorrowful crying and bury his face in Park Hae-jun’s chest.
Sigh. Exhaling deeply, Park Hae-jun stared into space. He was deeply worried about when this child could be shaped into a useful actor.