By Zephyria He should have immediately denied it, but Yu-jin was momentarily flustered and missed the timing. Seeing him only wandering his gaze around, Winston said nonchalantly.
“I was just kidding, don’t worry about it.”
Even though it was the truth.
Yu-jin thought inwardly, but fortunately, he didn’t say it out loud. But he couldn’t help the flush rising on his face due to embarrassment.
“It’s my first Christmas like this… Angie is very excited, so.”
Feeling his skin burning, he made excuses. But this alone was not enough. After all, it was thanks to Winston’s efforts that they were able to experience such a special Christmas, and he felt that they had gone too far.
“……Thank you. For today.”
Yu-jin muttered softly and avoided his gaze. Since when did it become so difficult to say what he really meant? Hoo, after letting out a short sigh, he thought of his daughter’s face.
Among the mountain of presents, the one Angela liked the most was definitely the ‘Princess Set’. Named by Angela herself, it was all the fashion worn by the main character, such as the dress, tiara, and shoes that she had only seen in pictures or on the screen. The child, adorned with glittering and fancy clothes and accessories from head to toe, did not try to take off the clothes all day. The same was true when eating or going outside the mansion. Of course, as if he had expected it, there was also a coat in the gift that princesses would have worn in winter a long time ago, so Angela happily wore it and went to see the horses.
The child, who had spent such a dreamlike and excited day, finally took off the ‘Princess Set’ when she fell asleep. She insisted on sleeping in it, but when Yu-jin quickly took out the princess pajamas that Santa had given her, Angela quickly gave up her stubbornness and happily changed her clothes.
As he recalled how happy the child had been, Yu-jin naturally felt grateful to him. Softening his usual animosity and raising his gaze, Winston replied indifferently as usual.
“If you liked it, that’s all that matters, don’t worry about it.”
That was all. Yu-jin stared up at his face for a moment. Why was it that Winston’s expression was no different from usual, but it looked extremely desolate to Yu-jin? What was he thinking as he watched Angela and Yu-jin all day? Isolated in their own world.
Yu-jin tried to recall Winston’s expression as he watched them, but he couldn’t remember. Of course. In reality, he was completely focused on his daughter. When he felt a sense of embarrassment, he suddenly felt a sweet scent. Yu-jin was startled and widened his eyes.
Perhaps because he was conscious of Angela, Winston had been suppressing his pheromones all along, but it was different now. The faint scent of pheromones made his heart race like crazy and his palms sweat. It was too early for the effects of the suppressant to wear off. Perhaps it was because his heat cycle was approaching. He couldn’t put it off any longer. The thought came to his mind like an instinct. What if I, right now…….
“Yu-jin?”
Suddenly, Winston called his name. Yu-jin hurriedly pulled himself together and changed the subject.
“Why did you think of doing this? Do you usually do this when it’s Christmas?”
It’s okay for now. As he tried to forcibly ignore his pounding heart and asked nonchalantly, Winston chuckled.
“Of course not.”
He naturally poured himself a glass of wine and continued.
“I just prepared it because Angie said she had never received a proper gift for Christmas.”
“You did all this for Angie?”
His somewhat raised voice was due to nervousness, but Winston misunderstood. Yu-jin, seeing his face frowning as if asking what was wrong, cleared his throat in a hurry and continued.
“It must have taken a lot of time to prepare…… Santa too.”
“It’s not that difficult if you have money.”
Winston readily replied this time as well. Hearing those words, something like a picture came to Yu-jin’s mind. He probably heard about what Yu-jin had ordered as a Christmas present for the child. He must have prepared the presents and created Santa accordingly. He must have deliberately made it noticeable to the child so as not to arouse suspicion……
“You put in enough effort. I’ll praise you.”
Winston paused. Seeing him speechless as if he was dumbfounded, Yu-jin deliberately joked so that his true feelings would not be revealed.
“Since you’re a good boy, Santa will visit you next year too.”
He tried to say it with a smile, but Winston soon twisted the corners of his lips and shook his head. He poured himself a drink without even answering as if he was dumbfounded, then picked up the glass and opened his mouth.
“It wasn’t difficult, I just did what Angie wrote in her letter.”
He had heard directly from the child that Angela had written a letter to Santa. He never imagined that this would be the result. Winston muttered to Yu-jin, who was silent.
“It’s a good thing, wishing each other happiness.”
He put down the glass he had emptied in one go and added indifferently.
“It’s also a beautiful thing.”
Winston’s voice contained no emotion. But that made Yu-jin feel even heavier.
“……Then what about you.”
Yu-jin opened his mouth slowly. He knew what he was about to say, but he couldn’t stop it. Without any intention of stopping it, his voice broke through his lips and flowed out.
“Who will wish for your happiness?”
Winston stopped moving and looked at Yu-jin’s face.
53
For a while, the two only watched each other without saying a word. Yu-jin braced himself, anticipating the sarcasm that would come from him. As they had always done, they would surely criticize each other and say harsh words before turning their backs and falling asleep. He even felt like he was watching a predictable movie with a known ending, when Winston opened his mouth.
“I have to take care of that myself.”
……Huh?
Surprised by the unexpected reaction, Yu-jin blinked. What’s wrong with this man? Has his heart softened from being immersed in the Christmas atmosphere? As he wondered inwardly, Winston’s profile suddenly came into Yu-jin’s view. He had turned his gaze away from Yu-jin and was looking out the window in the distance. His profile with clear lines was so perfect that there was no flaw to be found.
The man with his neatly combed hair and comfortable sweater looked relaxed and wealthy to anyone, but even so, Yu-jin felt an extremely deep depression and loneliness from him.
He has everything in his hands, but there’s no one to share it with.
Suddenly, Yu-jin recalled what Harold had said once. At the time, Harold was taking care of him like a child, and Yu-jin also followed Harold like a father. Yu-jin had forgotten the words that Harold had rarely revealed his inner thoughts without understanding them. But why did he think of those words now of all times?
This man is alone too.
Like Harold, or even in a deeper solitude, Winston was submerged. Yu-jin still had Angela, but this man had no one. When he thought of it that way, the wall that remained in Yu-jin’s heart collapsed.
Yu-jin took a step towards Winston. He clearly knew what he was about to do. But even so, Yu-jin did not stop. The carpet swallowed his footsteps, and Winston didn’t notice his movement. Perhaps he was lost in deep thought. Either way, it didn’t matter to Yu-jin.
It’s because of the heat cycle.
Beyond his hazy consciousness, he vaguely recalled. It was a very valid reason. The reason why his heart was so weak and why he was doing this was all because his heat cycle had come. There was no other reason. Nothing.
I will never love or pity this man.
When he gently grabbed the fingers that were hanging down carelessly, Winston was startled and turned to look at him. Seeing his wide eyes, Yu-jin confirmed that this man was lost in other thoughts. A cynical smile spread with a feeling of resentment.
Everything will be over tomorrow anyway.
Thinking that way, Yu-jin grabbed Winston’s cheek and gently pulled him in. Winston was still surprised, but he didn’t reject it. Was he confused? But Yu-jin didn’t think of anything else and closed his eyes. When their lips met, his thoughts disappeared on their own, and Winston strongly hugged his waist.Ah, a sigh escaped unconsciously, but it soon vanished within each other’s mouths. Winston, not missing the opportunity presented by the slightly parted lips, shoved his tongue in recklessly. The hand that had been holding his cheek instinctively moved to his neck, embracing him tightly. At the same time, his stomach throbbed and his heart began to race like crazy.