By Zephyria Yu-jin was speechless and could only stare at him. But Winston didn’t seem to care, completely ignoring Yu-jin as he looked at documents, signed them quickly, wrote comments, or looked at the screen. Why would he bother being here if he was going to act like that? He wondered, but he stopped himself from saying anything, fearing that it would only make him feel worse. He tried to turn to his side, thinking that it would be better not to see his face, but a moment of carelessness soon brought about unexpected pain.
“…Ugh.”
He let out a short groan without realizing it. It wasn’t even that loud, but suddenly he heard the sound of papers rustling, and in just a few steps, Winston was at the bed.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
He wanted to tell him to mind his own business, but he couldn’t make a sound, fearing that another scream would escape. Seeing Yu-jin with his eyes closed and holding his breath, Winston immediately pressed the call button. A nurse came in quickly, checked his symptoms, and soon injected something into his IV line.
“You’ll feel better soon.”
The nurse comforted Yu-jin kindly and watched him for a while before leaving. As she said, the injection quickly stabilized his condition. Only after confirming that Yu-jin’s ragged breathing had subsided and that he had relaxed his shoulders again did Winston speak.
“You don’t have to hold it in. I told them that absolutely no addictive injections are allowed.”
His words struck him differently after the pain had subsided and he had regained some reason. Yu-jin remembered. He remembered when the doctor had said that Winston might never be able to get out of bed for the rest of his life, with mechanical devices attached to his entire body. And he had actually seen that sight.
A chill ran down his spine. Yu-jin hesitated and stealthily glanced back at Winston over his shoulder. Fortunately, he had returned to his stack of documents and was engrossed in his work.
Is it because he knows…?
It wouldn’t compare to Winston’s wounds. He had almost died, literally. Yu-jin had clearly seen the scars that remained on his body. He had pretended not to notice, but the marks that had mutilated his once-perfect body were still so vivid in his mind. And Winston still takes medication. Because of the aftereffects.
“…You, you’re not addicted to anything, are you?”
He didn’t realize he had spoken until after he had said the words. Flustered for a moment, Yu-jin saw Winston lift his head and look at him.
“Mostly.”
Winston replied in a dry voice. What did ‘mostly’ mean? He was making assumptions when he added an explanation.
“I’m not addicted to most drugs. It’s just my constitution.”
Then, Winston muttered self-deprecatingly.
“The most dangerous poison is already coming out of me anyway.”
Pheromone.
Yu-jin thought reflexively. The most dangerous addiction for all those of his kind is pheromone addiction. So strong that it neutralizes all other addictions.
That poison had also swallowed Winston’s love for Yu-jin. Now, all that was left was the shell. Yu-jin simply stopped talking. Another scent, one that he had barely noticed, seemed to suddenly come to mind. The omega scent that emanated from Winston.
Fortunately, as the medication took effect, he stopped thinking. Yu-jin breathed evenly and soon fell asleep.
* * *
A strange sensation awakened his consciousness. Frowning and letting out a small sigh, he slowly opened his eyes, and soon the dark view outside the window came into view. The sky was completely covered with dark clouds, pouring down countless raindrops. The sound of the rain beating relentlessly against the window was enough to make him feel dazed. He watched the falling rain for a moment, when he suddenly seemed to hear another sound. Turning his head belatedly and directing his gaze towards Winston, Yu-jin paused for a moment. Winston was leaning against the desk, his shoulders shaking.
Haa, haa.
Faint sounds of painful breathing could be heard. Yu-jin could tell just by looking that he was in pain.
“…Winston.”His name slipped from her hesitant lips. Winston, who had been panting and leaning against the desk until then, seemed startled and raised his head. Dramatically, lightning struck powerfully near the window. In the momentarily brightened view, Winston’s bloodless face was clearly revealed. Seeing him with a complexion as pale as a corpse and his temples covered in cold sweat, Yu-jin was momentarily speechless.
Winston simply stared at Yu-jin for a moment without saying anything. Perhaps his thoughts were clouded by the pain. Seeing his unfocused, hazy eyes, Yu-jin was convinced that his guess was correct.
They faced each other for only a few seconds. Winston, who had been silently staring at Yu-jin as if frozen, suddenly stood up.
And Yu-jin clearly saw him limping, but approaching as quickly as possible, almost running.
“Are you okay?”
Winston asked between gasping breaths. Now he was soaked in sweat all over. His voice was barely audible due to his heavy breathing.
Yu-jin, bewildered, nodded.
“I’m, I’m okay.”
“Really?”
Winston asked again, as if pressing him. He seemed anxious, even frightened.
“Really… really? You’re alive… right?”
Winston reached out a hand to Yu-jin, trembling as much as his voice. He seemed to want to touch his cheek, but it only hovered in the air, unable to reach.
…It’s Rut.
Yu-jin realized belatedly. This man is not in his right mind right now. His golden, shimmering eyes and unstable breathing were evidence, but what was most certain was that Winston, who was looking down at him in such fear, could not possibly be normal.
This man is out of his mind because of pheromones.
The omega scent that had soaked his entire body must have come from the pheromone party. The reason for going to the party was obvious. Conversely, he missed the timing to suppress it, and Rut finally came. It was a very simple and clear conclusion. And the fact that this man probably wouldn’t remember any of this after tonight.
Yu-jin hesitated for a moment and took Winston’s hand, bringing it to his cheek. When the warmth touched his fingertips, Winston flinched as if he had been electrocuted.
Looking down at him with wide eyes, his breath held, Yu-jin opened his mouth without averting his gaze.
“It’s okay, I’m alive.”
“…Haa.”
Winston exhaled all at once. In the next moment, unbelievably, tears welled up in his eyes.
“…Thank goodness.”
He whispered with a sigh, then leaned his body against Yu-jin as if collapsing.
“I thought… you were going to die.”
Winston mumbled, burying his face in the mattress. His voice was muffled, but the meaning was clearly conveyed.
“I was afraid I would lose you again, I…”
Yu-jin knew the unfinished words. Because he had felt the same way back then.
“I know.”
Yu-jin said in a dry voice.
“I thought you were going to die back then too.”
That’s why he did it. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for Winston. He just wanted to say he loved him again.
“I never thought you would forget me.”
A self-deprecating laugh followed. Winston raised his head, but looked blank as if asking what he meant. Yu-jin stared at him for a moment and then opened his mouth.
“It’s okay, it’s all over now.”
“Over, us?”
“Yes.”
Winston asked in a still drunken, hazy voice. Yu-jin answered firmly.
“You don’t trust me, and I no longer have the confidence to convince you with any words. All I can do is say that I am innocent. What can I do if I can’t provide any evidence? So we’re over, aren’t we?”
He spoke quite a long sentence in a slow tone, but Winston still frowned and only repeated the same words.
“I don’t trust you…? Why?”
Ah, Yu-jin sighed softly. It was already too late. The pheromones had completely taken over Winston’s mind. Just like that day.
“Don’t go.”
Winston whispered, rubbing his face against Yu-jin’s chest.
“Don’t go anywhere, you’re mine.”
He desperately leaned his body against Yu-jin as if trying to force his large body into him, adding as if protesting.
“I told you I was yours…”
He was trembling slightly against Yu-jin’s body. He didn’t know if it was because he was so nervous, or just because of the pheromones, but Yu-jin didn’t bother to push him away.
“Yu-jin, answer me.”
Winston, becoming anxious, raised his head. Their eyes met, and Yu-jin realized. He was going to kiss him.
But Yu-jin closed his eyes. Even while sensing what would happen next.