By Zephyria “…Sam was your savior.”
After a long time, Winston opened his mouth. Yu-jin replied indifferently to his hoarse voice.
“Yeah, the only one.”
Winston raised his head and looked at Yu-jin. But Yu-jin didn’t look at him and continued.
“If it wasn’t for Sam, I would have been rolling around on the streets and starving to death. Or I might have gone to prison and died giving my ass away.”
A self-deprecating smile flowed as the corners of his lips twisted.
“Anyway, I would have died.”
Winston closed his mouth tightly. His movements were somewhat restless as he rubbed his mouth with his hand as if looking for something to say and looked down at his clasped hands, but Yu-jin didn’t care and rambled on.
“Sam told me to trust you, the you I loved.”
I must be really drunk. Yu-jin thought. His mouth moved on its own, regardless of his will.
“But you don’t trust me.”For some reason, he started laughing. Chuckling, Yu-jin leaned his head against the back of the sofa.
“Maybe I didn’t love you.”
“I…”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Winston finally opened his mouth. He seemed about to say something, but Yu-jin didn’t want to listen.
“I just didn’t want to regret it.”
There was only one reason he bothered to say it. Now, he wouldn’t have to blame himself for not saying it someday.
“If you have something to say, say it.”
Yu-jin gave Winston a chance. He felt he had said all he needed to say, so it was his turn to listen. That was fair.
Though he hadn’t done so until now.
Winston, who sighed and rubbed his eyes, seemed to be thinking about something before he opened his mouth.
“Couldn’t you find a job? Even part-time.”
Yu-jin was so dumbfounded that he just burst out laughing. Winston looked at him, puzzled, as Yu-jin, still sitting sideways on the sofa, glanced at him and asked.
“Who would hire me?”
Still chuckling, Yu-jin continued.
“Winston, I didn’t even have a minimum education or an ID. I was just a ghost. Who in the world would hire a beggar with nothing? Would you have hired someone like me?”
And he was pregnant on top of that.
The reason Angela was still so much smaller than her peers was because he hadn’t eaten properly back then. Yu-jin honestly thought the baby had died in his womb. The thought of his daughter, who had been crouching and holding her breath without moving, made him want to cry with guilt.
With a deep breath, Winston sighed.
“Yeah, I asked a stupid question.”
He looked as if all the strength had drained from his body. He must have seen the incident report, so he probably had some idea of what to expect. But no matter how extreme his imagination was, reality easily surpassed it. Yu-jin didn’t bother trying to guess how he was feeling right now. It was Winston’s emotion alone, and he, as an outsider, could never truly know it.
“…Why.”
Winston managed to regain some composure and opened his mouth.
“When I asked you, why didn’t you tell me the truth?”
It wasn’t a tone that seemed to be grilling Yu-jin. He asked as if he was genuinely curious, and Yu-jin answered casually.
“You wouldn’t have believed me anyway.”
Suddenly, a forgotten memory came to mind. Yu-jin muttered without much thought.
“You’ve always been suspicious of me whenever I was with a man.”
Winston closed his mouth again. He seemed about to say something, but Yu-jin was already feeling sleepy.
“Maybe you’ll never believe me…”
“Yu-jin?”
Winston called his name at the end of his fading words. But this time, there was no answer. Winston realized that he had quickly fallen asleep and sighed deeply.
“Yu-jin.”
Winston got up from the sofa and approached him, calling his name again and raising his hand. After hesitating for a moment, he carefully grabbed Yu-jin’s shoulder and shook him. Yu-jin was only breathing evenly in his sleep and didn’t respond. Winston looked down at him, then readily bent down and picked him up. His terribly thin body was easily held in his arms. He was so light that he almost staggered. Winston looked down at Yu-jin’s face, then soon turned and headed for the bed. As he moved, Yu-jin’s slippers fell off one by one and rolled on the floor.
Even after gently placing him on the mattress, Yu-jin was still asleep. Winston carefully stroked his face, then soon took his hand away and straightened his back. Only after lifting the sheet and covering him did he finally return to his seat. Winston called the Butler to bring another bottle of wine, and in the meantime, he drank the remaining wine and fell into thought.
You’ve always been suspicious of me whenever I was with a man.
It was petty jealousy. Everyone lost their minds when they saw Yu-jin. Even though he knew Yu-jin was innocent, Winston wanted to kill the guys who talked to him and smiled at him.
But I trusted you back then.
Winston knew that Yu-jin was not at fault. The bad guys were the flies that gathered around him. He had so much faith in Yu-jin’s chastity.
Winston.
Even now, whenever he remembered that day, his heart felt like it was being torn apart. The face that smiled at him. Yu-jin kissing his father. Even the sight of the two of them tangled in bed.
I saw it.
Winston covered his face with both hands.
I clearly saw it with my own two eyes, you sleeping with my father.
I even remember the sound of your laughter mocking me.
There was no room for doubt about that. Yu-jin was right. No matter what he said, Winston would not believe him.
Because he had seen it with his own eyes.
And then he even lied about carrying Winston’s child. Extreme alphas control their sperm. Winston had never impregnated him and even used condoms. It was impossible for Yu-jin to get pregnant. To think he had gotten pregnant with some other guy’s child and came to spout such nonsense, how much of a fool did he think he was? Winston thought he would never forgive Yu-jin until he died.
But he didn’t know that he would have such a terrible experience afterward. He hated Yu-jin to death, but he didn’t want that outcome. He might have been used and abandoned by his father. He probably was. His father never looked for Yu-jin even once after that. But he didn’t think his father would have given him so little.
He naturally thought he would have hooked up with another man and lived a dissolute life.
The scar on his back suddenly ached. It wasn’t raining, and he hadn’t done anything strenuous, so what was this pain?
Thinking it was phantom pain, he went to the bathroom and opened the cabinet. He took a handful of painkillers that were always stocked, put them in his mouth, and drank them all down with water from the sink before he could finally see his face in the mirror. A man with a pale complexion like a ghost was facing him.
What are you going to do now?
The man in the mirror whispered.
Winston Campbell, so what are you going to do from now on?
He stood there for a while without moving. The face looking at him seemed to be mocking him.
* * *
“Ugh…”
His head was throbbing as if it would break. Yu-jin groaned softly and distorted his face. He slowly lifted his eyelids and blinked blankly while lying down.
It was a few seconds later that he realized he was lying in bed. He sighed and sat up. Of course, Winston was nowhere to be seen. It was long after he had gone to work.
His mind was hazy, but all the memories remained clear. A bitter smile spread as he recalled Winston’s reaction.
That man might have had a pretty special experience thanks to me.
It would be easier to think that way. He got out of bed and headed for the bathroom when he heard a knock, and a moment later, the door opened.
“Oh, you’re awake.”
The Butler, who opened the door, found him and greeted him.
“Angie is waiting to have a snack with you. She already had breakfast.”
“Ah, yes. I’ll be there soon.”
“And one more thing.”
Yu-jin was about to hurry into the bathroom when the Butler called him back.
“Mr. Campbell said he wants to have dinner with you. With Angie too.”