#174

Cullen asked, as if surprised. The Dragon flinched, as if they hadn’t expected him to ask that. After a few seconds of parting their lips, the Dragon nodded.

“Yes.”

The answer was firm, as if they wouldn’t accept any refusal. The Dragon straightened their upper body and extended a hand.

Cullen stared intently at the hand. He remembered refusing the hand the Dragon had offered him right after he woke up. He slightly raised his gaze and examined the Dragon. They were watching Cullen’s actions without even blinking.

Cullen recalled that the Dragon was expecting behavior similar to what he had done in the past. Considering the words they had spoken while holding him and their constant denials, it was predictable.

He had no reason to cater to them, but Cullen decided to follow the Dragon’s wishes. The expression they showed when he didn’t take their hand bothered him strangely.

Come to think of it, the Dragon had grown accustomed to his actions throughout their time together. Things like touching, holding hands, or embracing. Though his feelings within those actions had ultimately displeased the Dragon.

Why are they acting like this?

He thought dryly, as if analyzing the situation. Cullen, retracing the Dragon’s incomprehensible actions, finally settled on guilt as the reason.

If they felt a strong sense of responsibility for his death, perhaps the Dragon was trying to fulfill the actions he had desired in life. Even though his death was entirely his own choice, the Dragon, being a benevolent being, might act that way.

As Cullen fell into thought, the Dragon’s expression hardened. Just as Cullen hesitated about whether to take their hand, the Dragon withdrew it. It was strange. The Dragon looked pained, just like the day Cullen had pleaded with them not to kill Kihelene. Though it was subtly different from that time, they looked devastated.

“Did I make a mistake?”

He hadn’t acted like he did that day, but he found it difficult to understand why the Dragon wore such an expression.

“…No.”

The Dragon replied in a choked voice. As they stood up, withdrawing their hand, a shadow fell across their face. It felt somehow stifling.

However, unsure of what to do, Cullen picked up the cloth bundle Kiyen had given him and rose from his seat.

The Dragon, who had been waiting, left the room. In the small space that combined the living room and kitchen, Lasano was lighting a fire with the Young Dragons. Seeing them, various scenes flashed through his mind.

Had things gone as they should have, Arne would have been there. Going back further, perhaps an older Sasha, or his mother and father, might have been present.

The memories surfaced unconsciously, but the accompanying pain did not. His throat felt dry, but the despairing guilt that made being alive agonizing was absent for now. Yes, this was what Cullen had wanted.

To no longer be in pain.

Instead of saying anything, Cullen turned his head. The Dragon, who had been watching him, slowly opened the door.

The mountain, cloaked in the night sky, was entirely black. The sounds of night insects and owls could be heard nearby. The Dragon conjured a small firefly-like light above their hand. A faint yellow glow spread.

They headed towards a warehouse a short distance from the cabin. A path buried in the distant past. In the warehouse, hides and horns of beasts hunted by his father were piled up, and next to them was a bathroom with a tub. Cullen walked through a place he hadn’t even noticed when he’d stopped to bury his comrades.

“…Aren’t you happy to be home?”

The Dragon asked as they neared the warehouse.

“I don’t know.”

Cullen replied indifferently. The Dragon wore a forlorn expression at his answer, then gestured towards the warehouse with a hand that appeared particularly pale. The door, which had been bolted, opened. Inside, several orbs of light, similar to the one floating above the Dragon’s hand, drifted. They were as bright as torches.

“I have no home. So I don’t know what it feels like to return to my homeland. But… humans say they are happy to be home. I…”

The Dragon waited for a moment, then locked the door again after Cullen stepped inside.

“I wanted you to be happy seeing this place.”

Cullen noticed the Dragon observing his reaction. In the single day they had spent together, the Dragon had shown many sides he hadn’t seen before. However, Cullen had no more reactions left to give them. His chest felt merely calm.

“My homeland is a place that only leaves me with painful memories. If I were to feel any emotion….”

Cullen surveyed the warehouse and spotted deer antlers hanging far off. The dependable back of his father, butchering a beast, came to mind.

“I would have felt sad, perhaps.”

The Dragon blinked, as if this was unexpected. Their wide-open eyes looked surprised. Their lips moved. They hesitated for a long time, as if searching for words, and then spoke just as Cullen was about to open his mouth.

“This… is not what I wanted.”

“No. I am fine.”

Cullen shook his head. It was a sorrow he had felt for a long time, and he was fine now.

“It is a place that only brings me pain, but for the Young Dragons, this must be a nest. Since they are here, can’t you consider this your home now?”

Saying this, Cullen headed towards the steaming wooden bathtub. It was a bathtub he didn’t remember. The delicately carved wood was large enough for the skilled Cullen to fit into.

Besides that, the warehouse had subtly changed in other ways. Traces of children playing were visible in various places.

“I do not want to make a place that causes you pain your home.”

As he confirmed this while looking around, the Dragon’s voice came from behind him. He saw the Dragon’s shadow fall over him. Cullen looked down at the shadow and said,

“It has nothing to do with me, does it? This is a place where Dragons live now.”

At those words, his wrist was grabbed. With strong force, he was turned around. Finding no reason to resist, Cullen willingly yielded to the Dragon’s strength. The Dragon looked down at him, their golden eyes contorted. A burning golden light flashed.

“Why do you speak as if excluding me?”

Cullen looked up at the Dragon, who asked in a hurried, desperate voice. The Dragon’s words did not end there.

“I will not let you go anywhere. I have no intention of losing you foolishly again. You cannot go, Cullen. So… do not speak like that.”

Their words were heavy, like an oath. Each sentence felt like a voice echoing in his mind. Cullen stated a fact the Dragon had overlooked.

“But I am human.”

The very fact the Dragon had emphasized so much.

“I will die someday. Even if I am alive now, I will. You cannot save me then either. That is why you told me, isn’t it?”

Cullen finally felt he understood the Dragon now.

“That Dragons and humans cannot be together.”

They had spoken the truth.

“I know you did not mean for me to be by your side as a lover. But whether as a friend or any other being, I am ultimately a fleeting moment in your infinite lifespan. Looking back, I was selfish.”

So Cullen decided to apologize.

“Wanting you, who will live for Immortality, to love me was a terrible act. I am sorry.”

Cullen now perfectly understood how foolish he had been to expect something impossible from them, even for a moment. Seeing the Dragon speak of the future, it resonated.

At Cullen’s words, the Dragon’s pupils narrowed. Their eyes, looking shocked, stared blankly at him. The hardened, beautiful face gradually contorted.

The golden eyes, which had lost their redness, flickered. Their thin breaths seemed to carry a hint of moisture.

The Dragon, repeatedly parting their lips as if to say something, rubbed their face dry. They looked distressed and tired. Like someone who hadn’t slept for days. Though not human, they looked equally weary. Suddenly, a whisper brushed through Cullen’s mind.

How had they been?

How had they saved him, and was the bloodstain on the robe he saw upon waking an illusion? The unanswered questions suddenly surfaced as if they had been buried.

But soon, his heart grew calm again. Asking such things would entangle him further with the Dragon. He would gladly fulfill what the Dragon wished, but he didn’t want more.

“Wash yourself.”

The Dragon said in a raspy voice. In a wooden basket placed beside the tub were soft towels for drying.

“I will wait outside.”

Instead of answering Cullen’s words, the Dragon said that and stepped back. Their bare feet touched the ground as they turned. Soon, the door closed.

As the Dragon disappeared, his thoughts scattered. He felt a stifling tightness in his chest. He attributed it to the steam from the bath making the air humid.

Cullen quietly placed the cloth beside the basket and slowly undressed. The blood-stained trousers, torn shirt, and mangled armor fell to the floor.

Submerged in the perfectly warm water, Cullen looked at the ceiling. A bird seemed to have nested there, as jagged branches protruded from the eaves.

Gazing at the space, which was much warmer than he remembered, he thought of the word the Dragon had used: home. It just kept circling in his mind.

He remained submerged, losing track of time. Finally, as the water began to cool, Cullen rose from the tub.

He dried himself with the towel and opened the cloth bundle the Dragon had brought. Inside were a blue cotton shirt and black trousers. The neat finishing suggested they were made by a skilled seamstress.

Suddenly, the question from earlier resurfaced. How had the Dragon obtained these? He wondered how someone who didn’t even feel the value or need for currency had managed to procure such items. Then, he found himself wondering about his own thoughts.

Was curiosity also included in the category of emotions?

Probably not. With the power of a god, he had suppressed his emotions. In reality, he felt no pain looking at his home. So, this was merely a natural phenomenon.

He dismissed it with that thought. Dressed, Cullen examined the cloth further. However, there were no shoes. Only the blood-stained boots remained. Without further thought, he put on what he had arrived in. Then, he left the warehouse.

As soon as he opened the door, Cullen found the Dragon leaning against a tree, waiting for him. The soft moonlight poured down like rain through the gaps in the trees. His fluttering blonde hair repeatedly rose and fell.

His eyes, which had been gazing at the warehouse, fixed on Cullen. He felt the Dragon’s gaze examining his changed clothes.

“I had one more thing to give you.”

Saying this, the Dragon walked slowly towards him. Their cheeks looked cold. As if they had been waiting outside the entire time he was bathing.

“I have already received enough.”

Cullen refused, but the Dragon approached him without regard. Cullen then noticed what they held in their hand.

Shoes.

“I don’t want to see you wearing those anymore. And leaving you barefoot… human feet are weak, they might get pricked by thorns.”

The Dragon whispered softly and then bent down. Seeing this, words of refusal wouldn’t come. The feeling of tightness in his chest from earlier overlapped. He felt uncomfortable for the first time. Wondering for what reason they were acting this way, he clenched his fist slightly without realizing it.

“I will put them on for you.”

Beyond the Dragon’s voice, his own voice overlapped.

“I will put them on for you.”

The Dragon slowly knelt and lowered their head. Their long, downward-cast eyelashes were alluringly raised, and their straight, prominent nose looked down.

With an expression of intense concentration, they reached out a pale, large hand and grasped Cullen’s ankle. They untied the laces of the blood-stained boots one by one, removed them, and carefully cupped his bare feet.

Their hands were cold, as if they had been exposed to the cold air for a long time. It was not difficult for Cullen to confirm his guess was correct. They had been waiting for him to come out.

“I don’t know if you’ll like them, but…”

The shoes they brought were made of neat brown leather. They didn’t protect the calves like boots, but they covered the ankles. So that his ankles wouldn’t be cut by the grass as he traversed the mountain.

“They should fit your feet.”

His feet, bearing white scars in various places, slipped into the shoes. The Dragon, handling them as if they were precious, carefully supported his feet and finished putting on the shoes.

That action was like looking at his past self. Cullen, who had searched the Imperial Palace for shoes befitting the Dragon, had put shoes on the Dragon with a similar gesture.

Recalling that, the same uncomfortable feeling returned. Cullen forced himself to look away. His feet, where the cold hands had touched, burned.

Cullen decided to consider this a period of adaptation. His body was clearly adapting to the Dragon’s unprecedented actions. That was why this strange sensation was occurring. Because they… had never been this affectionate before.

He felt he had done well to ask the goddess to remove his emotions. If he had retained his foolish emotions, Cullen would not have known this was the Dragon’s guilt…

He might have fallen in love with them again.

“Thank you.”

At Cullen’s expression of gratitude, the Dragon looked up. Their previously flushed eyes had returned to their usual state. They gazed at Cullen endlessly, then slowly stood up. This time, their gaze looked down at his feet.

“They suit you.”

The Dragon said abruptly. Their face was expressionless, but their voice sounded as if they were smiling.

“I thought they would.”

The Dragon, still looking at his feet, habitually extended their hand and then withdrew it. Then, they spoke quietly.

“Let’s go.”

He turned his body naturally, his steps toward the cabin incredibly slow. As if waiting for Cullen to follow. Watching his slowly moving back, Cullen took in the sight.