#168

I didn’t know before. Even when humans whispered their love to me countless times, the Dragon was unaware. It was because he had never felt what humans called love throughout his life. Because no one had ever treated him like a human.

So I didn’t know.

The depth of it. How much he thought of me. What meaning the human’s heart held when he called me, not a single thing. Foolishly.

The Dragon now understood completely. No Larkan had ever loved him like a human. Only the human had treated him with sincerity.

Beyond his blurred vision, only the human’s smile was clearly etched. Leaning his forehead against the thick ice wall that separated them, the Dragon exhaled a cold breath.

Humans, not a single one, had shown any sign of refusal to his terrible and cruel requests. They had only asked me.

If my death would make the Dragon happy.

So if I could smile, I would willingly… give myself up…

“Cullen.”

His chest felt like it would burst. Unbearable pain squeezed his heart, and the Dragon finally called his name. His voice was a mess. He was breaking down.

“It doesn’t make me happy at all.”

He spoke to the corpse. Praying for an answer, the Dragon whispered as if pleading. The smiling lips tore his heart to shreds. That foolish human, just to see me smile, to wish for my happiness, had given up his life without hesitation.

He showed no fear that a living being should show in the face of death. He merely looked at me with a sad smile. Even when his chest felt like it was splitting and blood was gushing out, he was looking up at me.

Thinking back, humans were always like that. They never once took their eyes off me. Merely making eye contact would cause them to softly curve their eyes, melting their expressionless faces. Throughout our time together.

“So, I will cancel it. What I wanted, I…”

At that time, he did not fully understand. It took the Dragon three years to fully comprehend his actions. And the human’s sincerity, which he finally realized, completely broke the Dragon.

“I… did not want you to…”

He missed the human.

“I did not want you to… die.”

He had never cared about anyone that much. He had never thought of not wanting to show his smiling face to others. He had never felt the surging emotions while watching him falter beneath him. Even with his own kind beside him, the Dragon felt no attachment comparable to what he felt for the human. He was the sole exception.

So he was angry. Simply because the human did not fully take his side.

His tired and wounded heart considered it a betrayal. His spirit, worn down by dozens of repeated massacres, could not accept the actions of the human who left his side. That’s why he said those words. Because he genuinely mistook it.

But in truth, what the Dragon wanted was—

“I just wanted you to…”

To be beside him.

“I hated… you embracing someone other than me.”

The Dragon confessed a part of his emotions, which he had realized very slowly. Beyond that, there was so much dull pain filling him that his throat choked.

Tears welled up, following the ceaseless flow of sadness. The fallen drops touched the ice and cooled. There was no answer in return.

If he were a living human, he wouldn’t have been able to bear seeing me cry. That guy who would step forward to protect me from getting hurt, he would have been at a loss seeing me like this.

But I couldn’t picture it, as it was a sight I had never seen. It struck me deeply that there were so many aspects of the human I had never seen.

The young Dragon sat down beside the collapsed Dragon. The young one looked back and forth between the man and the Dragon and asked.

“Why are you sad?”

The young Dragon, who didn’t know how to comfort, asked with confusion.

The Dragon slowly raised his head. He didn’t know that either. Because he had never felt sadness or longing, only despair and anger. He couldn’t understand where all this bitter feeling originated.

He raised his head and stood there blankly, looking at the man gazing down at him. The pale face, framed by dark hair, held a different kind of pain. He was staring at the human trapped in ice with a sorrowful expression.

The Dragon asked him. It was about humans, so he thought another human might, perhaps, know the answer.

“Why am I not forgotten?”

At the Dragon’s question, the man met his eyes. His red eyes were deeply submerged.

“I have seen countless human deaths. But never like this. You are human, you would know. Why… why am I… like this.”

The Dragon asked, his usual calm and collected demeanor gone, replaced by confusion. The fact that the man before him had betrayed him, or that he was merely human, mattered little now. He wanted an answer. He felt like he would go mad from wanting it.

“There is only one answer, isn’t there?”

The man, gazing sadly at the Dragon, spoke in a low voice.

“You are sad because you lost someone you loved.”

The word ‘love’ pierced the Dragon’s heart. It was a word he heard countless times from humans. But the Dragon had a reason not to accept that word.

“But I am a Dragon.”

They were different species.

“How can a Dragon love a human?”

In the world, he was the only Dragon. The love he had witnessed was only between members of the same species. Humans loved humans, and beasts paired with their own kind. The Dragon had never witnessed different species exchanging emotions.

“I, too, am ignorant of emotions. But if there is one thing I know…”

The man spoke, his voice strained, squeezing out the words.

“There is no other way to explain Lord Kiyen’s sorrow than love. Lord Kiyen always kept his distance from Lord Cullen… but, Lord Kiyen was always…”

The man seemed choked up, taking a breath before spitting out the last words softly.

“Watching Lord Cullen.”

Thump. The boundary that had barely held the Dragon together cracked.

“Always.”

His heart, barricaded by the solid boundary of species, surged like a tidal wave. The man’s answer, which forced him to acknowledge it, made the Dragon wish for death.

It would have been better not to realize. Learning now that he harbored emotions akin to humans was no different from a curse.

He would never die, and humans would never come back to life.

Fear washed over him. There was no other explanation.

Would the sorrow subside after a long time? Would he forget everything and become indifferent?

But the past three years for the Dragon had been excessively long and horrific. He saw no possibility of improvement.

Only distant despair.

“How cruel.”

The Dragon spoke hollowly, his face devoid of life.

“You awaken feelings for one who will never return…”

Even though he had asked, the Dragon spoke thus. The Dragon had the right to resent the man. But instead of blaming him for his numerous sins, the Dragon blamed him for this one thing alone.

The Dragon stared down with empty eyes. He saw the human, endlessly trapped. The priest’s words were right.

Even though he was merely a corpse, the Dragon wanted to pull him out and hold him. He wanted to see him move so badly he could die.

Silence descended. Only the sound of the wind could be heard. A small hand touched the Dragon’s frozen hand, which didn’t even make a sound.

The Dragon slightly turned his head at the warmth spreading gently. He saw a Young Dragon with a frightened face. Though he thought he should comfort the young one, he couldn’t. He had no emotions left to give but sorrow.

“Arne… was buried near the Imperial Palace.”

At that moment, the silent man spoke. The Dragon blinked. He finally realized what had felt strange since earlier. The man was saying Arne was dead.

The Dragon slowly raised his gaze. In his eyes, he saw the man staring at Cullen in the ice. His gaze was heavy, as if projecting something.

“I don’t have the great power like you, Lord Kiyen, so I didn’t have the skill to freeze him like this. I buried him with Ulli. He probably returned to the earth a long time ago.”

The man spoke of his sorrow with a flat tone. Yet, the emotion in his red eyes was devastating.

“I couldn’t understand Arne, who died to save someone like me. I wanted to ask why he did such a thing, but I wasn’t even given the chance. How unfair. He died as he pleased, and then told me to live. Arne sometimes drives people mad.”

As he said this, the man smiled faintly. His smile, directed at the empty air, slowly faded. It vanished dryly, like scattering ashes. Following the change in his expression, his red eyes gradually contorted.

“So I decided to find a way. I never wanted to live, so I thought it would be better to bring back him, who was loved by everyone. While I was at it, I wanted to scold him for why he did it.”

The Dragon, listening to the man’s pained voice, slowly opened his mouth.

“There is no miracle in the world that can bring back the dead. Not even a god does such a thing.”

The Dragon realized he didn’t know everything, but he was certain of this. If such a method existed, the Dragon would surely have saved him. There were too many moments that were unbearable even without acknowledging his own emotions.

“I thought so too. But Lord Kiyen, humans sometimes do foolish things. Unlike you who know everything, we know very little.”

The man slowly lowered his upper body. He knelt down, meeting the Dragon’s gaze.

“I offered resentment and prayers to the goddess every single day. I lamented the pain caused by the goddess’s actions, which symbolize justice. I cursed and raged, and I cried and begged. All the while, I wandered everywhere. Then, one day, it was truly ridiculous…”

The man let out a hollow laugh.

“The goddess told me the way. To be precise, I found it by searching her shrine thoroughly. I made a mess of the shrine in the process.”

For a moment, the Dragon blinked slowly, unable to comprehend.

“The goddess, who never appeared when I desperately sought salvation, instead gave a cruel response. It was a method I couldn’t achieve no matter how much I struggled. The goddess was always like that. She never gave true salvation to her followers.”

The man looked up at the sky for a moment. Suppressing his anger and despair, he spoke again after a short silence.

“But now that I see it, it seems it was a method for you, Lord Kiyen, not for me.”

Hearing that, the Dragon opened his lips after a long while. His exhausted soul barely reacted.

“What… what do you mean?”

As Kiyen whispered lowly, the man met his eyes. He looked at the Dragon with certainty and said,

“There is a way to save Lord Cullen.”

The Dragon shook his head.

“There is no such way. I cannot even heal life.”

But the man was resolute. His piercing red eyes held a flickering belief.

“This is not Magic. It is a divine incantation. An incantation that can only be performed by paying a tremendous price.”

His mind went blank for a moment at the unbelievable statement. The Dragon glared intently at the man, unable to believe what he heard. But the man remained unwavering.

“I cannot do it, but you, Lord Kiyen, can.”

Even though he thought it made no sense, even though he thought it was a foolish hypothesis, the Dragon finally asked.

“What is it?”

Then the man’s eyebrows curved. He looked alternately at the Young Dragon beside the Dragon and then at the Dragon, and spoke cautiously, unlike before.

“It is to give up your Immortality.”