#136

Efficiency was one of the few words Cullen liked. Not dragging things out unnecessarily, not consuming emotions, not getting entangled in pointless matters and just doing one’s own work. Before meeting Kiyen, Cullen had lived his life with such ruthless efficiency.

But now, that word felt strangely unfamiliar.

“You said… efficient?”

“Yes.”

Kiyen calmly affirmed.

“Wasn’t it a hollow title from the start? According to human definition, lovers are those who love each other. But I cannot love you. I don’t think anything will change if we stop.”

Kiyen’s words slowly registered. Cullen gripped the wooden bowl tightly and averted his gaze. The blurry reflection on the stew was a distorted shape, unrecognizable as a face. He stared blankly at it. Kiyen was always so logical that it was hard to refute.

The title of lover was indeed a shell. He had simply been mistaken in between. The thought that Kiyen might have come to love him was his own delusion.

Cullen was tired of himself. Repeating delusions, holding expectations, and hoping, again and again, this selfishness. He hadn’t even wished for Kiyen to like him from the very beginning.

It was a feeling he had harbored on his own, yet he kept expecting it to be returned. Perhaps this selfishness had brought him this far. Even if they were bound by the word ‘lover,’ the pain would be the same, but perhaps he had clung to it, inflating his own expectations.

Hearing Kiyen’s words, he felt a sense of peace, as if a thread connecting them had been cut.

“I understand.”

Still, it was fortunate.

“If Kiyen-nim wishes it, I will do so.”

He hadn’t told him to give up his feelings, after all.

“Then… you don’t have to hold hands or be intimate anymore…”

He thought it was fortunate just to cherish those feelings, which he couldn’t possibly abandon. It was also something he couldn’t give up on his own will.

“……Are you saying you’ll endure Rodiak alone?”

Kiyen squinted one eye at the mention of no longer needing physical contact and asked. He didn’t understand the connection between touching and emotions, so it was natural for him to be curious. Cullen nodded.

“Yes. We are getting closer to Zarkas anyway, and won’t the curse be lifted once the one who cast it dies?”

“What if something happens before then?”

Kiyen seemed unconvinced by Cullen’s decision. He stared intently at Cullen, appearing confused himself.

“That’s something we can think about later.”

“Even if we’re not lovers, it’s fine to calm you down like before.”

Cullen shook his head. He managed a slight smile and said calmly,

“Then it will be difficult for me, Kiyen-nim.”

At the word ‘difficult,’ Kiyen paused.

“The closer I get to you, the more I will love and desire you. Such feelings will make me unstable, as you feared. So it’s better not to.”

Cullen slowly rose from his seat. He met Kiyen’s gaze as he sat on the rock, looking up at him. Even as his inner self was being so thoroughly dissected, he still felt fondness. He was beautiful, lovely, and even this cruel side felt so tender.

Enduring it alone was inherently suited to Cullen. He even felt like he had found his place. Liking and worrying were enough for him to bear.

“Kiyen-nim, Kia-nim might not be of the Dragon race.”

Cullen said to Kiyen before withdrawing. At the mention of Kia’s name, Kiyen’s expression hardened.

“As a Dragon, I would know that better.”

“I’m sure that’s the case. Still, please keep a close eye on Kia. I can’t possibly understand Kiyen’s desperation, not even if I were to die, but he is also someone who cherishes Kiyen more than anyone. That’s why I’m telling you this.”

Kiyen stared at Cullen without a word.

“I don’t want to see Kiyen make the same mistake.”

Cullen didn’t want to see Kiyen, blinded by desperation, walk into danger.

Silence filled the space between them. After staring at Kiyen for a long time, Cullen slowly turned his body. The moment he turned his back to Kiyen, a sensation, whether it was fatigue or despair, washed over his entire body.

For the first time in a while, he felt truly exhausted.

The group walked straight towards the heart of the East from the morning after the full moon began to wane. The compass didn’t move, but as they got closer to the Artifact, the brightness of the stars gradually intensified. Using that as a landmark, they pressed on as quickly as possible.

With no friction between Cullen and Kiyen, Kia naturally blended into the group. He was naturally innocent, and the more they watched him, the more it became clear he was just a child.

Kia was useful in many ways. Navigating the forest paths became easier with him around. He was far more attuned to the forest than Kiyen; the threads of power they wielded seemed distinctly different.

He exchanged only necessary words with Kiyen. Kiyen said nothing would change, but Cullen needed time to process. He needed to deliberately keep his distance to avoid burdening him unnecessarily or touching him out of habit.

As they were always together, the rest of the group quickly noticed the change between them. Arne tried harder than usual to brighten the atmosphere. Ulli had asked Cullen about their situation a few times, but he remained tight-lipped.

As they continued deeper into the East for over six days, the weather began to change.

The air, now fully autumn, had a significant difference between day and night. Since entering the South, they had only seen clear skies, but as they neared the center of the East, rain gradually began to fall. The rain, which had been pouring down fiercely and then stopping, continued all day today.

Seeking shelter from the rain, the group stopped in a ruined village. After passing the border of the southeastern region where Kia had stayed, such unrepaired places appeared sporadically. Each time, Kia tended to the land, and today was no different.

“I haven’t been this far before. But, from now on, it will all be like this.”

Kia looked around the village and spoke. The scorch marks from fires had faded with time, but the desolate foundation of destruction remained. Kia spoke with an eager expression.

“Kiyen, let’s go together!”

At his words, Ulli glanced at Cullen. Cullen silently ignored the gaze.

Instead, he untied the horses they had brought and began preparing to light a fire. If the rain continued like this, they might need to wear raincoats. It seemed better to rest for a while and prepare in advance.

“I can’t go far,” Kiyen said softly. His gaze briefly swept over Cullen before returning to Kia. At Kiyen’s words, Kia nodded vigorously.

“Even if you just let the trees around here grow, it will be much prettier.”

“Understood.”

Kiyen said that, then gazed at the sky for a moment before following Kia, who had run off, and disappeared. They soon vanished into the place where the fog had begun to gather.

“This place is really eerie. Was all of the East like this before Kia changed it?”

Ulli, perhaps feeling the chill, rubbed her arms and approached. As she set down the branches and firewood she had brought, Lasano lit the fire. Arne, crouching by the fire, agreed.

“I think so. It takes many years for burned forests and land to recover.”

Then, Arne cautiously asked Ulli.

“Where you lived, too… will we come across places like this?”

Ulli leaned against a collapsed wall and smiled wryly. She looked at Arne and nodded.

“Yes. But it’s near the border of the North and the capital, so it’s not like this there. In the first place, that bastard sold my father out, so the territory is still in good condition.”

Her cynical voice was as bitter as the wind and rain. Cullen watched the fire catch and spoke.

“I don’t know what will happen after we find the third Artifact, but we will have time to visit that place. I haven’t forgotten our contract, so don’t worry about revenge.”

“What, I wasn’t rushing you. Besides, you don’t have to feel burdened. We have plenty of time together, don’t we? You’re the kind of person who keeps promises and then some.”

Ulli said cheerfully and patted Cullen’s back. The air, hardened by the cold raindrops, began to melt slightly by the flames. Lasano, who had been reaching out to the fire, spoke.

“What happened with Kiyen?”

He brought up the topic Cullen had been avoiding. Arne closed his mouth but seemed to be waiting for an answer. Ulli also crossed her arms and looked down at Cullen.

Sitting before the small, flickering fire, Cullen gazed at the burning embers. Kiyen’s fire suddenly came to mind.

“Nothing is happening.”

“For someone with nothing happening, we can’t see you two together as usual.”

Lasano skillfully countered Cullen’s answer.

“It won’t affect our future journey or the group. It’s between Kiyen and me, and nothing major is happening. We’re fine.”

Since that was truly the case, Cullen had little to say. Lasano shrugged and made the fire burn a little brighter. The rain had intensified.

“It’s not that it has no effect. Here, Arne worries about you two every day and doesn’t leave my side.”

At his words, Arne’s eyes widened. Blushing, he flustered and grabbed Lasano’s robe.

“Lasano, you promised to keep it a secret…!”

“Worrying isn’t a bad thing, is it?”

“That’s true, but…”

Then, looking at Cullen, he scratched his head. Cullen gave a small smile, and Arne, seemingly relieved, smiled back.

“Besides, I personally have many regrets.”

Their eyes met. The red eyes, seen after a long time, looked strangely bitter.

“In what way?”

“Seeing you two, I saw hope that the boundaries held by race and group could be broken. But it seems that hope was distant.”

He furrowed his brow slightly. Just as he was about to ask, sensing a hidden meaning, Ulli stopped them. She pushed herself up from the wall and picked up Pantel.

“Hey, am I the only one feeling this?”

When Cullen looked up, Ulli was staring into the air. Arne asked again.

“Yes? Feeling what?”

“Didn’t the fog suddenly get really… thick?”

At her words, Arne also looked around. The fog, which had clearly been confined only to the area where Kiyen and Kia had disappeared, had instantly filled this ruined place. It didn’t seem like a natural phenomenon.

Cullen also drew his sword and stood up. Not knowing what might happen, he thought it would be better to go find Kiyen and Kia.

“I’ll go find the two of them.”

“If you’re going, it’s better to go together. This fog…”

Ulli said with a slightly frightened expression.

“It looks like it’s moving.”