#123

Lasano’s red eyes were dry and indifferent. Ulli flinched at his blunt words and tried to stop him.

“Isn’t that too sudden?”

“Isn’t it a fact you’ll find out eventually? Did you intend to hide the fact that he was one of the creators of Zarkas and let Arne believe he was a good person?”

Ulli pursed her lips, then spat out.

“Why are you so extreme, High Priest? Shouldn’t a High Priest be able to forgive and accept change? Is that what the doctrine says?”

In the past, Kiyen and Cullen had also clashed with Lasano over that matter. Compared to Lasano back then, much had clearly changed, but he held a particularly firm stance on sins involving such communities.

“The doctrine of Goddess Aksha is one: justice and punishment. The temple merely upholds this framework. I am stating facts.”

“Can’t you consider emotions when stating facts? You are not a god. We are human, and we have emotions. Why must you…!”

Ulli’s voice rose, her opinion clashing with Lasano’s since they escaped the castle. Just as Cullen was about to intervene to mediate, Arne spoke.

“I’m sorry.”

At his apology, Lasano flinched and turned around. Arne looked back and forth between the companions with a bewildered expression, then furrowed his brows and smiled.

“I think I asked unnecessarily. I’m sorry. I didn’t know my master had done such a thing. If my master was the one who created Zarkas… it’s only natural that he couldn’t have lived. Even if Cullen-nim killed him himself, I… I’m fine!”

Arne said, trying to smile despite his confusion. He gradually lowered his head.

“Rather, I am grateful that you told me the truth. I am also a person who committed the sin of not confessing something important out of cowardice and being an accomplice… So please don’t fight.”

“Arne.”

Cullen’s heart also grew complicated. The complex facets shown by Ruena and his story muddled his mind. Clenching his fist with hands hardened by fatigue, Cullen said softly.

“He… is undeniably the beginning of sin, and the one involved in the annihilation of my family. I won’t say he isn’t a sinner. But…”

Separate from the unforgivable sin, he must have been a good person to someone. He realized his mistakes and tried to correct them in his own way. That doesn’t grant him absolution, nor does it justify the massacre, but.

“His creation of Zarkas is related to the massacre in the East. I don’t wish to forgive him or pity him. However, your master also had his reasons. No matter how it began, he sought to repent and correct it.”

At Cullen’s words, Arne smiled with teary eyes. Ahaha, he laughed awkwardly, then bit his lip for a long time before letting go. Moisture gathered at the corners of his eyes, which finally curved softly.

“Cullen-nim is truly kind. You didn’t have to say this.”

“It’s not because of him. It’s because Arne is my colleague. He must have been someone precious to Arne, at least.”

Having said that, Cullen rummaged through his clothes and presented the fragment he had brought. Arne, receiving back the fragment his master had made for him, gazed at it for a long time. Then, he finally scrunched up his eyes and swallowed a sob.

“As Cullen-nim said, my master was truly precious to me. He always said he would leave someday and indeed disappeared without a word, but he took me in, raised me, and taught me forgiveness and repentance. He always told me. Not to judge good and evil rashly. Depending on the situation, depending on the relationship, I could be someone’s enemy or benefactor…”

Having said that, Arne put away the fragment.

“That’s probably why he saved a sinner like me. Thinking about it now, it must have been the conclusion he reached after long contemplation. In that sense, I respect Cullen-nim. You don’t just look at one thing, but ultimately take care of everyone. It feels truly fortunate to be a colleague of someone like Cullen-nim.”

Arne bravely wiped away his tears. Then, he took a deep breath and laughed.

“I owe you again like this. I will repay your kindness, even if I have to do it in the afterlife!”

“You don’t have to.”

At Arne’s resolute words, a little ease returned to Cullen. Ulli also calmed her agitated demeanor, then patted Arne’s back. She then leaned her head slightly on his shoulder. It was a gesture of comfort.

“Let’s rest now. Everyone is too tired, and we’ve been through a lot. Let’s rest first. Then we’ll regain the strength to move forward.”

Arne agreed with Ulli’s words.

“Um, I packed groceries when I packed my luggage! I’ll make something simple to eat.”

“While you’re at it, why don’t we gather people and find something useful inside? Everyone will love Arne’s cooking! It’ll be tough, but bear with it. We fought all day today.”

Arne also laughed at Ulli’s words. The two, in agreement, headed towards the people without waiting for Cullen’s instructions. Cullen, watching them go, hesitated for a moment. His vague suspicion towards Lasano had not completely disappeared. Moreover, weren’t Ruena’s last words not solely directed at Cullen?

As Cullen made up his mind to ask about it, Lasano spoke first.

“I will help as well. We will need a lot of hands for a while, and Cullen-nim, you don’t seem like you’ll be leaving until this place is better…”

Their eyes met. His eyes, which had been dry for days, curved into a smile as usual.

“I shall go to help the people, in accordance with my duty as High Priest.”

With that, Lasano headed towards where Arne was, not giving Cullen a chance to ask. Feeling something unsettling, Cullen watched him for a long time before postponing the conversation.

It would be better to discuss this with Kiyen…

As far as Cullen thought, he looked around. Kiyen, who had said he would be elsewhere for a while, was nowhere to be seen. A sudden sense of unease washed over Cullen as he scanned his surroundings and then turned his steps in haste.

*

It took over an hour to find Kiyen. He was sitting in the ruins at the innermost part of the collapsed city. In the ground where fragments of what was once a castle were deeply embedded.

Only by raising his head could he see him. He almost missed him. It was because Kiyen, under the blazing sun, appeared faint.

Cullen couldn’t call out to him immediately. Cullen, looking up from under the shade for a long time, moved only when his desire to not leave him alone reached its peak. Using the collapsed stones as stepping stones, he carefully approached Kiyen’s location. It was a height where one could fall with just one misstep.

“Kiyen-nim.”

Kiyen was sitting precariously, looking at the sky. Following his gaze, he saw the moon there. Hiding its presence momentarily in the shining sun, like a watchful guardian.

“Have you ever wondered about existence?”

As he followed Kiyen’s gaze to the sky, Kiyen spoke. Cullen quietly watched his profile. He could see his eyelashes drooping.

“No.”

I have often asked myself why I survived, but I have never thought about that.

“From the moment I was born, I thought about that. Why I am on this land. Why, among all things surrounding me, my kin are present, but I am not. Not even grass, flowers, animals, or even Demonic Beasts…”

Kiyen’s calm voice was deeply imbued with loneliness. Wasn’t this loneliness the very reason Cullen couldn’t leave him alone? He felt sorry for him, who was bound by a contract of his own volition, without even knowing that his loneliness was loneliness.

His gaze, which had been fixed on the empty air, slowly turned towards Cullen. His white chin turned slowly, and soon their eyes met. Kiyen had eyes filled with moisture, just as he did when he was collapsing under Ruena’s words.

“Why does a creature like me exist on this land?”

It wasn’t a question. It was close to a scream.

Cullen knew that scream. Isn’t it a word only those who wish to die can utter? Kiyen was merely asking because he couldn’t understand what he was feeling.

The moment he heard it, he couldn’t stand it. He wanted to embrace this beautiful, lovely, and simultaneously fragile-feeling being. Cullen leaped over the chasm between them. Approaching Kiyen, who looked at him with confusion like a lost soul, he hugged him tightly.

“Kiyen-nim is not a terrible being.”

Before any refutation could pour out, Cullen burrowed into him. Holding his waist as if he would never let go, he buried his face.

“Kiyen-nim did not do it willingly. Didn’t you say it yourself? The fault lies with Larkan. It is Carias’s sin for binding you, and the sin of the humans who used you.”

Kiyen’s breath trembled at the earnest words. He asked again, like a child.

“But the lives I took do not return.”

“But at the same time, today, you saved as many. The South is a vast land. If Kiyen-nim hadn’t helped, many would have died by Zarkas.”

“Zarkas was created because of me. In the end, I…”

Cullen couldn’t bear to hear Kiyen blame himself any longer. Cullen lifted his head and committed a sacrilegious act. He extended both hands. Grasping Kiyen’s white cheeks tightly, Cullen pressed his lips to them. He covered the lips that were spewing pain with his own. They smelled sweet. His lips were just like flower petals.

His widely opened eyes took in Cullen. His pupils, like a sea holding the brilliant sun, blinked slowly. Seeing the surprised expression, he felt relieved. He wanted to comfort him somehow. Even though he knew such a thing couldn’t comfort Kiyen, even as he thought that… he rubbed his lips.

As he had never kissed before, Cullen clumsily inserted his tongue. Kiyen, who always skillfully manipulated him, remained motionless this time. He simply let Cullen lick and bite his lips. Instead, his hands gripped Cullen’s waist. His large hands embraced Cullen, and soon their bodies pressed together. The sound of their hearts beating mingled.

Continuing the clumsy kiss for a long time, Cullen slowly parted his lips. Despite gasping for breath, he spoke. Rubbing his reddened cheeks, Cullen whispered earnestly.

“If there is a sin, I would call it the goddess who placed Larkan in this position.”

It was a blasphemous remark, but he felt no fear. In Cullen’s world, the most terrifying thing was Kiyen’s sorrow.

“So please, do not think that way. Kiyen-nim, you are the most lovely, kind, and gentle being in the world. At least to me. To me, you are truly…”

His eyebrows curved. The overflowing love felt like it would burst his heart.

“Precious.”

Kiyen, who stared blankly at Cullen even after the kiss ended, regained his expression. The moisture in his eyes contorted.

“Me?”

“Yes, precious. I will protect you. I will ensure you never suffer such things again. I will do anything so you don’t have to suffer doing things you don’t want to do… Please, don’t be sad.”

He whispered, praying that even a tiny piece of his sincerity would be conveyed. Kiyen looked at him for a long time. Just like the time he said he would believe me.

No sound was heard. However, Kiyen responded to Cullen’s plea with action. The hands that had been gripping his waist tightened. Kiyen lowered his head. His beloved long hair softly fell, brushing against Cullen’s cheek. He came so close that his eyelashes tickled his forehead.

Their gazes intertwined. In the silent air, Cullen felt countless emotions. He saw a mixture of faint hope, comfort, and heat in his shimmering eyes. It felt like a connection, as if they were truly lovers…

And a short while later, their lips met. Unlike the time he passively accepted Cullen, this time, Kiyen began to move with his own will. His long, soft tongue gently licked his lips. The warmth sent a shiver through him, and Cullen unconsciously parted his lips slightly, breathing shallowly.

A thrill ran through him. Emotions surged and filled his body. Clinging tightly to Kiyen’s robe, Cullen willingly surrendered himself.

Finally, their tongues mingled. Kiyen embraced him tightly, as if he truly desired him. As he was held in his broad embrace, Cullen realized a truth that made his heart ache with joy.

This was the first time they had touched like this, without Akesis’s curse being involved.