#102

This kiss was unlike any other.

It was a touch imbued only with emotion, free from Akesis’s curse, Rodiak, or any unpleasantness.

It was born solely from Kiyen’s will, much like the mornings he personally bathed me in the temple. It might have been an illusion created by intense desire, but it felt as though their hearts had connected.

Kiyen had said he couldn’t be with a human. Yet, it felt as though he had truly opened a part of his heart and accepted me.

Just as Cullen hadn’t known his own heart, perhaps Kiyen hadn’t known his either. Even if they couldn’t become lovers, had he come to like me enough to kiss me willingly?

A shiver coursed through him, paralyzing Cullen. Though they had kissed countless times during intimacy, his mind went blank as if it were the very first time.

Kiyen licked his trembling lips. The long, thin, pointed tip of his tongue, distinctly different from a human’s. The soft sensation that tasted sweet.

His tongue delved into Cullen’s trembling lips, and they intertwined. The hand gripping his jaw tightened. Haa, as Kiyen exhaled a breath he had held for a long time, he tilted his head. His tongue, which felt pointed even without being fully extended, tickled the roof of his mouth, eliciting a soft moan. It sent a thrill through him.

Taking Cullen’s sensitive reaction as a signal, Kiyen began to fully consume him.

Kiyen licked all the way to the root of his tongue and pulled Cullen closer. Their noses brushed softly. Their tongues tangled with a wet sound, and as arousal began to build, Kiyen lifted Cullen, who was reacting with bewildered excitement.

From his kneeling position, Cullen was now on top of Kiyen, making the kiss even more effortless. He wrapped his arms around Kiyen’s neck and pressed into him, and Kiyen willingly met him.

He felt like he was going to go mad with joy. He wanted to touch more. He wanted to feel more. As if sensing this, Kiyen tightly embraced his waist. Their bodies pressed close together.

It was strange to feel this way from just a kiss. His lower abdomen gradually grew hard, and a sensation of helplessness washed over him.

Unsure of how to resolve it, Cullen clung to Kiyen. Following Kiyen’s lead, they exchanged kisses for a long time, until they were breathless.

“Still clumsy.”

Lost in the moment, almost to the point of suffocation, Cullen came to his senses as Kiyen’s strength separated them. Only then did he gasp, drawing in a large breath of air. His heart was pounding as if it would burst. He wanted to say something, but he was out of breath.

Kiyen looked at him with a much softer expression. Cullen felt a sense of relief, as if Kiyen had finally returned to the person he knew.

“…I’m sorry, haa, sorry.”

“When do you plan on getting used to it?”

Kiyen said, wiping Cullen’s lips. His white, soft thumb brushed against the wet skin, sending goosebumps down Cullen’s arms. He liked it.

“…If we do it a lot… I might get better.”

Answering in a daze, Cullen flinched. Even he was shocked by his own words.

“That’s why, you’re the first person Kiyen-nim has kissed…!”

Flustered, he quickly added an excuse, and Kiyen smiled wryly. He gently picked Cullen up. He began to straighten Cullen’s clothes, which had become disheveled at some point.

“You’ve gotten good at begging.”

Cullen was speechless. He let Kiyen touch him. His blood was running so hot that his earlobes or some part of his face must have turned red. He found it difficult to meet Kiyen’s eyes out of embarrassment.

“Are you feeling… better now?”

Kiyen, having tidied his clothes, looked down at him. Cullen thought he might pull away, but Kiyen did not.

“Yes.”

Instead, he raised his hand and touched Cullen’s eyes.

“I will believe what you said.”

“……Thank you.”

“And.”

Kiyen gazed intently at Cullen’s lips. He pondered for a long moment, then spoke slowly in a cautious voice.

“If what we just did is considered ‘lovers’ by human standards…”

“Yes?”

The moment the word ‘lover’ was spoken, Cullen froze.

“As long as you are alive, you may call me your lover.”

Stunned by the unexpected words, Cullen was bewildered. He wondered if he had misheard, and unconsciously asked again.

“Did you say… lover?”

“Yes.”

His breath caught in his throat. He had never dared to hope for such a title, and his mind went blank. Slowly, he regained his senses. The kiss, which had been unbelievably wonderful, and the word ‘lover’ overlapped, bringing a surge of excitement and anticipation. His heart began to beat beyond its limits.

“Does that mean, Kiyen-nim also…”

It was an absurd assumption, but Cullen asked.

“Love me?”

Was there even a sliver of possibility? Otherwise, it made no sense. Kiyen had said he couldn’t love humans.

However, no one takes someone they do not love as a lover. Moreover, Cullen is a Larkan. If he said he would take him, whom he hated so much, as a lover…

Perhaps.

Had a miracle occurred?

Without even a moment to calm down, I foolishly harbored hope. The familiar gesture of placing a leaf on my head, the increased laughter, and the kiss from just now, all of these were clearly different from Kiyen, who had rejected my confession.

So, perhaps, really, Kiyen loves me too…

“That’s impossible.”

The hope that had swelled like a large bubble burst in an instant.

“I cannot love you. That remains the same. But I trust you. You are the only decent being among the intelligent life forms I know, and I do not dislike doing this with you.”

Kiyen was clear to the point of seeming innocent.

“I told you before. Humans do not kiss without reason. So, you may call me your lover.”

Something mixed into the joy that had been endlessly expanding. Disappointment, like an impurity, and sorrow of unknown origin became jumbled together. It was typical Kiyen. The belief that we could not be together remained, but his statement that I could call him that for my sake…

Kind and cruel, it was truly like Kiyen.

“But… ‘lover’ is a title for those who love each other. Since you do not love me, Kiyen…”

The joy was gradually being stained with sorrow.

“Is that possible?”

“It is your choice.”

Kiyen said indifferently. It was gentle, yet cruel.

“You wish to be close to me, so it is merely a title to make that easier. If you dislike it, you can naturally make it as if it never happened. Because I know you like certainty, I merely wanted to attach a definition.”

The moment I saw him about to withdraw as if he didn’t care at all, my body moved. My head went blank. So, this is…

A good thing.

It is presumptuous. Kiyen was being considerate of me. It was an overwhelmingly excessive amount of affection compared to before, when there was nothing. It must be possible because he finally opened his heart and decided to trust me. I hadn’t even hoped to become lovers, yet he willingly offered it first.

It is overwhelming. It is something that could be called a miracle for a sinner like Cullen.

“I am fine with it.”

But it’s strange. Even though this is such a good thing, I feel inexplicably sad. Even though I should be overflowing with joy, a blue sadness washes over some part of my heart. This is certainly not a normal situation. To feel such sadness when I have gained the one I love as a lover.

Yet, even while feeling the sorrow that soaked me, Cullen did not want to back down.

“You do not have to do anything, Kiyen. I will love you enough for both of us…”

His heart had been empty for too long, so I couldn’t bear to let go of Kiyen, who could fill me and more. It turned out well. It turned out well. To be able to call someone I can love without the pain of loss, a lover.

“Please be my lover.”

How fortunate this is.

As I stepped outside, the sun was moving beyond the ridgeline. The smell of food mixed with the smoke rising from the chimneys. It was a sweet, appetite-stimulating aroma.

I saw Ulli walking from afar. Haman was talking animatedly beside her, while Ulli had a nonchalant expression. Before leaving the inn, Cullen carefully took Kiyen’s hand.

The churning sorrow sank to the bottom. Cullen decided to carefully savor the unbelievable luck he had grasped. It hadn’t felt real, but as Kiyen clasped my hand, it began to sink in. Kiyen’s large, white hand covered Cullen’s.

“Cullen!”

Ulli, upon spotting them, immediately ran over. Before Haman could follow, she quickly stood before them and said,

“Where are the two foolish priests?”

“They seem to be preparing food over there.”

“Arne is certainly more suited to be a cook. The reason you call yourself a cook…”

She stopped speaking as she said that to Kiyen. Ulli stared intently at their tightly clasped hands.

“…What are you two?”

The answer came from Kiyen.

“It is my lover’s business, so mind your own.”

Indeed, Kiyen was acting irritably towards Ulli. A clearly wary expression appeared on his face.

“…Lo-ver?”

Ulli stretched out the word as if incredulous.

“Cullen, has that Dragon gone mad? What nonsense is this all of a sudden? When you used to torment me so!”

Kiyen was equally sensitive to everyone, so it wasn’t just towards me. Cullen didn’t want to recall the warnings Ulli often gave him about Kiyen. He just wanted to focus on this moment. To pretend not to know anything else ominous.

“It is true.”

At the firm answer, she was aghast.

“What? You were both so cold to each other just now, and suddenly you decided to become lovers?”

That part was awkward to explain. As Cullen hesitated, Kiyen pulled him back and answered. He completely blocked the space so Ulli couldn’t see his face.

“Be quiet.”

“You!”

Ulli, daring to shout “you” at Kiyen, pointed her finger.

“What’s your scheme? As soon as you heard that old man Pir just now, you made Cullen your lover? It’s too suspicious!”

“Ulli, it’s alright.”

Ulli did not seem alright.

“You kill people so easily, but why are you so clueless in front of a Dragon? I told you clearly.”

“It’s really alright, so don’t worry. Kiyen-nim defined our relationship that way for my sake.”

Even though he doesn’t love me.

“It is what I want.”

It was better that I would never stop loving Kiyen. At least now I could touch him to my heart’s content and explore him. It was an excessive favor.

“Did you hear that?”

Kiyen looked at Ulli as if to say ‘see?’, then gestured with his chin towards Haman.

“So, go to that human male who is courting you.”

Ulli, looking dumbfounded, alternated her gaze between Cullen and Kiyen.

“No, this is really strange. We need to hear other people’s opinions too.”

Then she grabbed Cullen’s clothes.

“Let’s ask the two priests as well. Cullen, we are all a bit crazy, but still, this is not it.”

As if she absolutely could not let it go like this, she led Cullen towards the direction of the food smell. Since we had to tell Arne and Lasano anyway now that we were lovers, Cullen obediently followed her. He intended to follow.

“Do not let anyone else touch you.”

Kiyen slapped Ulli’s hand away. Separating Cullen from her, Kiyen pulled him closer.

“Especially that woman.”

“See? He’s wary because I’m speaking the truth.”

If I thought rationally, and if it were someone else’s business, Cullen would have reacted the same way as her. After all, they had similar dispositions. However, the most important thing to Cullen was Kiyen.

“Are you blinded by love?”

“Yes. But don’t worry. I haven’t forgotten the contract I made with you, nor the tasks I have to do.”

“That’s not the problem. I…”

Cullen knew Ulli was worried about him. But truly, Cullen was fine.

“I need Kiyen-nim.”

Because only he made Cullen happy, he was willing to become a fool blinded by love.