By Zephyria “Hey, it’s ticklish….”
When I shrugged my shoulders, he even squeezed my wrist tightly so that it wouldn’t come out.
“Okay, the most expensive one.”
“No, wait a minute…!”
I shook my head urgently. The unit of price that Sung Se-han calls expensive is completely different from mine. I forgot that I don’t know what a guy who doesn’t know the limit will do.
“I just mean it! I’m going to wear this bracelet forever, so I don’t need anything else, and if a necklace is too expensive, I won’t be able to accept it because it’ll be too much of a burden. Got it?”
“Okay.”
I got Sung Se-han’s answer and then got up from my seat.
“I’m tired, so I want to rest.”
Then, I grabbed Sung Se-han’s arm as he tried to clean up the table and took him to the bed.
“You lie down too. Let’s sleep together.”
He must have waited for me without sleeping a wink. I need to get him to sleep first, and then I can think about what to do next.
“Come here.”
Sung Se-han, who was already lying on the bed, stretched out his arms toward me. I took off my slippers, climbed onto the bed, and used Sung Se-han’s arm as a pillow, snuggling into his embrace.
“Ah, this is nice.”
Burying my face in his firm chest and smelling the scent I loved, I finally felt like I was alive again.
“I slept a lot though….”
I lay down to get Sung Se-han to sleep, but my own eyelids grew heavy instead.
“It’s because you’re exhausted. You can sleep more.”
I felt his hand slowly stroking my hair before falling into a deep sleep once more.
In my dream, I walked and walked down a dark road. When will this painful dream ever end?
Tears streamed down my face, unaware of the warm hand wiping them away, as I wandered alone, searching for Sung Se-han.
“Tae-kyung Hyung! Are you really okay?”
“Hyungnim, we were so worried.”
I was discharged in the morning and returned to the dorm, where the members were waiting with worried expressions.
“I’m sorry. I made you worry.”
I was truly sorry to my younger brothers. They always had to worry about things they shouldn’t have because of me….
“Seriously, what’s wrong with Se-han Hyung?”
Jeong-min, who had greeted me with a sulky face, burst out with his complaints. I was about to drink the bottled water Soo-in handed me when I was startled and turned to look at Jeong-min.
“What about Se-han?”
“I rushed over after getting the call, but Se-han Hyung treated us like unwelcome guests! I mean, he said he wasn’t sick at all, so why wouldn’t he let us visit!”
Jeong-min’s face was red, and he raised his voice, clearly very angry.
“Is Tae-kyung Hyung Se-han Hyung’s possession or something? Why did he leave our company in the first place if he was going to be like this? If we had debuted together, how much….”
“Jeong-min.”
When I lowered my voice, Jeong-min paused and shut his mouth tightly.
“Se-han will be upset if you say things like that. He thinks of you as a cherished younger brother.”
“No, of course, I cherish and like Se-han Hyung too…!”
Jeong-min pouted and trailed off, mumbling.
“But Se-han Hyung was scary to me. He told me I couldn’t visit and to wait at the dorm….”
“Wow, that’s understandable that Jeong-min would be upset.”
I patted Jeong-min’s shoulder and stroked his hair.
“Se-han must have been out of it. I’ll tell him to apologize later. Cheer up.”
I didn’t want to imagine what kind of expression Sung Se-han had while I was asleep. I could only repeat the resolution that there should be no more times when he was struggling because of me.
“Tae-kyung Hyung, we’ll head to the company then.”
“Hyungnim, get some rest.”
My younger brothers, who were late for work because they were waiting for me, hurriedly packed their bags and headed for the front door.
“Tae-kyung Hyung, Gun-woo Hyung said we’re having a special meal for dinner, okay? Look forward to it!”
“Okay. Practice hard.”
I waved goodbye to my younger brothers and came back into the room when Jeong-min followed me.
“Oh, Tae-kyung Hyung!”
I took out some loungewear from the closet and turned around to see Jeong-min holding out his phone.
“You don’t know about the fuss over the photos while you were hospitalized, do you?”
“What photos…?”
I asked, pretending not to know, but there was no way I couldn’t know. Because I went near 100 Years Entertainment, Sung Se-han had rushed out on his way to work that morning. I didn’t know for sure, but Sung Se-han probably had photos and videos taken of him from 360 degrees that morning.
“There are so many photos of you two running while holding hands, and there are over ten videos uploaded too!”
I wanted to see Sung Se-han’s photos, which would have looked like a pictorial no matter what angle they were taken from.
“I’ll look it up now.”
I took out my phone from my pocket, but Jeong-min grabbed my wrist.
“But, Hyung, you should rest now, so it’s better not to look.”
“Why? Are there a lot of bad comments?”
“Well… it’s not exactly that….”
Jeong-min rolled his eyes and made an ambiguous expression.
“It’s not like that in Se-han Hyung’s individual fandom, but there seem to be a lot of complaints in Perfect Fandom. It seems like Se-han Hyung is taking care of Tae-kyung Hyung more than the Perfect members….”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
I felt like I knew the general atmosphere. When I nodded, Jeong-min tilted his head as if he was surprised.
“But Tae-kyung Hyung doesn’t seem to care much? You used to look up the comments and get stressed out….”
“It’s not that I don’t care, but I just don’t think it’s that important. It’s all happening because Sung Se-han is so popular, so he has to deal with it himself. What else can he do?”
Because I’m alive, because I’m alive so beautifully and healthily, I can withstand the wind and rain firmly. It’s all possible because I’m alive.
Even if sharp leaves like knives sometimes fly and create sharp wounds, Sung Se-han will stride forward without paying attention. Without looking back.
“Is that so…? Well, Se-han Hyung gets attention no matter what he does….”
Ah, I’m late! Jeong-min, who was leaving the room, turned back to me again.
“But Hyung, all our fans like it. They say Hyung is Se-han Hyung’s best friend.”
“That’s a relief.”
Before my answer was even finished, the door closed.
“……”
I stood there blankly before sitting down on the bed. I was still holding the clothes I was going to change into in my hands.
“This is hard.”
I was fine until Sung Se-han brought me here. I was fine until I was chatting boisterously with my younger brothers.
But as soon as I was alone, my vision blurred as if dark clouds had gathered before my eyes.
But I didn’t stop thinking.
“First, let’s work hard on the survival show filming.”
At least let’s pretend to work hard.
“And driving is….”
Even if Sung Se-han didn’t drive himself, accidents could happen at any time. I couldn’t stay home forever… so let’s not restrict every action and act sensitively.
And then… I busily organized my thoughts and turned my gaze to the air.
“Status Window.”
After hesitating, I called out to the Status Window, but nothing was felt in the silent room.
“Even if you pretend not to know, I know you’re watching me.”
Even if it was forced, even if it was just stubbornness that no one would listen to, I had to find a clue to the solution somehow. I had to do something.
“I believe you. I believe that Status Window would never just abandon Se-han.”
In the silence as if time had stopped, I bit my lip until it bled.
“Even if Status Window has given up on Se-han.”
An unbearable feeling welled up in my throat, no matter how hard I tried to suppress it. I couldn’t bear it and jumped up from the bed.
“I will never give up.”
I clenched my fist tightly and glared at the air.
“I’ll make you regret giving up first, Status Window. Just you wait! I’ll….”
Just then, my phone suddenly rang, making me flinch and shrink my shoulders in surprise.
“Ah, you scared me…!”
I stared blankly at the phone on the bed for a moment before slowly answering the call.
“Yes, Gun-woo Hyung.”
—Tae-kyung, Leeb will be arriving soon. Please open the door.
Hah… I sighed and looked up at the ceiling.
“Gun-woo Hyung, how could you do this without telling me in advance?”
—Don’t misunderstand, Tae-kyung. This is for the survival show filming. They decided to film Leeb visiting you in the hospital as a behind-the-scenes thing.
“No, really…!”
I was aware that I was in a very sensitive state right now, but I couldn’t help but feel annoyed.
“What do you mean, visiting me in the hospital without permission? Who’s going to take responsibility if I get stressed out and collapse?”
—Tae-kyung….
Suddenly, Gun-woo Hyung’s voice became much smaller.
—Se-han said you weren’t sick at all… and that you’d be fine if you just slept well, right? So I guess I was being too easygoing….
Gun-woo Hyung was timid by nature, and he seemed surprised that I was genuinely angry.
—I’ll contact Leeb right now! I’ll tell him that you’re not feeling well and that filming will be difficult… I’ll say that.
Hearing Gun-woo Hyung’s dejected voice, I felt like I had become a piece of trash who was just venting my anger for no reason, and I felt uneasy.
“Gun-woo Hyung, wait a minute…!”
I kept resolving to pull myself together, but I quickly lost my composure and acted sensitively again, and I was disgusted with myself. Hooo. I took a deep breath to regain my composure and calmed my breathing.
“If it’s survival show content, you must have discussed it with the writer Noona, so how can you cancel it? I’ll just film it.”
—Are… are you sure you’re okay?
“Yes, I think I was too sensitive. I’m sorry, Hyung.”
—No… I’m the one who’s sorry. I should have told you in advance….