By Zephyria ‘Maybe I’ll have to live like that for the rest of my life. So, Se-han, don’t think I got happiness for free.’
Why did I have to choose penalties I couldn’t handle every time and resent my own powerlessness? I could only blame my arrogant self.
‘Se-han, you can do whatever you want. But… I hope you don’t do anything that stands out. There are plenty of other things you can do quietly. With your talent….’
‘Why should I?’
The dying brown eyes of Sung Se-han suddenly flashed with fire.
‘I’m alive. I’m alive like this, so why should I live like I’m dead?’
Slowly, Sung Se-han got up from the sofa and took a step, then two, away from his Mom.
‘Why should I live the way you want me to?’
Sung Se-han, who had been forcibly holding on, was also reaching his limit.
‘Fuck!’
The coldness he had been wearing like an iron fortress collapsed all at once, and inevitable resentment poured out.
‘Why me!’
Sung Se-han, who had completely lost himself, shouted as if venting his frustration. I clasped my trembling hands together. Nevertheless, I couldn’t steady my shaking legs.
‘Se-han.’
The woman’s gesture of getting up from the sofa was elegant and relaxed. That appearance, completely different from her son who had lost his composure, frustrated me once again.
‘Whether it’s an idol or a pianist, you deserve to do what you want. No one can stop you.’
After sweeping back her long hair, she even gave a very affectionate and tender smile.
‘With your talent, you’ll definitely become the best artist. I know it. But….’
The woman hesitated as she stroked her jacket collar, then frowned as if she was sorry.
‘The more your face becomes known, the harder it will be for me, and you’ll become an uncomfortable presence for me.’
Even with a gentle tone that never raised her voice, the woman could carve up Sung Se-han’s heart.
She could make him wear a hollow expression as if he had lost everything.
Because she was Sung Se-han’s Mom.
It was possible because she was the Mom Sung Se-han had always waited for.
‘I’m really sorry for coming today without warning.’
The woman stared intently at her son, whom she had to look up at for a long time. A brief smile appeared on her beautiful face, but that was all. The woman soon turned away without regret.
Sung Se-han helplessly watched the woman’s back as her white jacket fluttered. Without realizing that his brown eyes were shaking, the woman walked out of the living room barefoot and silently, just as she had when she arrived.
‘…….’
Sung Se-han continued to stand like that for a while. Like someone who had lost everything, on the ruins swept by a storm.
I couldn’t hold Sung Se-han’s hand, nor could I hug his shoulders. I could only stand here and watch helplessly. There was nothing I could do.
“Se-han.”
I knew Sung Se-han couldn’t hear my voice, but I couldn’t help but call out to him.
“Se-han…!”
I kept calling Sung Se-han even though I couldn’t offer any comfort. I felt like I could only gather my thoughts that way. Because Sung Se-han was holding on like that, I had to do something too.
Suddenly, Sung Se-han staggered and sat weakly on the sofa.
“Se-han! Are you okay?”
I tried to rush to Sung Se-han, but I had to stop. Even as I watched Sung Se-han slowly lower his face as if collapsing, I could only clutch my chest and couldn’t offer any comfort.
Sung Se-han, with his elbows on his knees, covered his eyes with one hand, hiding himself. As if he didn’t want to show me his face.
“Se-han.”
I slowly sat on the living room floor, but I didn’t have the courage to look up at Sung Se-han.
“Se-han, I’m sorry.”
You definitely wouldn’t have wanted this. I’m really sorry that I saw this scene without permission.
And….
I carefully leaned my face against Sung Se-han’s knee. It was fortunate that Sung Se-han’s knee didn’t get wet even though warm water flowed down my cheek.
“I’m really sorry that I said you were uncomfortable. If I had known, I would never have hurt you.”
I’d rather be hurt myself.
Seeing Sung Se-han so weakened pained me more than words could express.
“Se-han, I wish I could be sick instead of you. I really….”
Suddenly, Sung Se-han jumped up, and I looked up in surprise.
“Why, what’s wrong?”
I hurriedly turned to the living room entrance, wondering if someone else had broken in, and then checked on Sung Se-han again.
Sung Se-han, who had been looking around the sofa, was scanning the floor with wary eyes. I hurriedly wiped my cheeks and looked around with him.
“Why, why? Did someone come? What’s wrong?”
‘What is this.’
His suspicious brown eyes were looking down at his pants. I followed Sung Se-han’s gaze and froze in the position I was about to get up from the floor.
It was clear that Sung Se-han’s knee, one part of his beige slacks, had turned a dark color.
‘What is this.’
Sung Se-han bent down and checked his knee with his hand. My mind went blank, and nothing came to mind. What is this right now….
‘It’s wet.’
It’s wet. Sung Se-han’s knee, which I had been touching with my cheek.
It felt like a cold wind was blowing through my head. Something that could never happen was happening right before my eyes.
‘It’s definitely wet.’
Sung Se-han, who had been pressing down on his knee, checked the moisture on his finger.
I watched every moment as the brown eyes, which had been losing their light until just now, slowly began to shine.
“Se-han…!”
The moment I moved my stiff legs to get up from the floor, Sung Se-han suddenly raised his head.
‘Who is it.’
I couldn’t help but laugh at Sung Se-han’s resolute question.
I had been experiencing incredible things since I met the Status Window.
But the fact that Sung Se-han was asking who I was, right now, was probably the most surreal situation of all the things that had happened so far.
‘I know you’re there, so come out now.’
Sung Se-han’s firm voice, as he slowly looked around the living room, no longer trembled. I never thought I would be so glad to see his crazy, gleaming brown eyes.
‘Come out when I’m asking nicely.’
He even raised one corner of his mouth, so he really looked like a madman about to cause trouble. At that sight, warm blood began to circulate throughout my body, which had been in pain until a few minutes ago.
‘Hiding there.’
Sung Se-han slowly turned around and checked the entire living room, then began to walk.
‘I won’t let you off if I catch you.’
Sung Se-han warned fiercely. I was more concerned that Sung Se-han, who wasn’t even wearing slippers, would step on the shards on the floor.
‘Not coming out?’
Suddenly, Sung Se-han began to move quickly. In just a few steps, he arrived at the kitchen and even looked under the table, then suddenly turned around.
As I was following Sung Se-han, my heart sank as if our eyes had met for a moment.
Se-han….
Sung Se-han, who of course didn’t find me, thoroughly searched the kitchen and then ran into the bedroom this time.
‘Come out!’
Sung Se-han opened every door and checked every corner of the large house like a madman. I could only follow Sung Se-han with a pitiful face, and there was nothing else I could do.
How nice would it be if I could tell him that I was here, that I was next to him. But that was impossible.
Even if it were possible to meet the eighteen-year-old Sung Se-han, it was something that should never be attempted. Doing such a huge thing would require bearing a risk that couldn’t even be compared to breaking minor rules.
“Se-han, there’s no one there, so stop looking. Please….”
When I let out a sigh of frustration, a black passage appeared at the entrance to the living room. It was the passage I had come through to get here. That jet-black passage was approaching this way.
“I have to go now, Se-han.”
I knew I had to move quickly, but I couldn’t help but look back at Sung Se-han with lingering feelings.
Sung Se-han, who had been running around here and there, was taking out sparkling water from the refrigerator. And after drinking a whole bottle in one gulp, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Even while doing so, his eyes were still shining as if he was looking for something.
It was the usual crazy Sung Se-han, with no trace of the sense of loss he had felt when he met his Mom. So I could turn around with peace of mind.
‘I know who you are.’
I paused, Sung Se-han’s voice grabbing my ankle.
I knew he wasn’t talking to me, but I couldn’t ignore it. When I turned around, Sung Se-han was staring at one spot in the living room.
It was the spot where I had been sitting on the floor next to Sung Se-han.
‘That day, when I was in so much pain I felt like I was going to die.’
Sung Se-han began to walk while fixing his gaze on that spot, and I blankly watched the scene with my mouth open.
‘You gave me medicine, you.’