By Zephyria 
The next day. Eun-ha had just arrived at the café for work and was entering the staff room when the phone in his pocket vibrated. Checking the caller ID, Eun-ha nonchalantly answered the call. It was Yeon-jun.
As soon as the call connected, a low voice, sounding as if in great pain, came from the other end.
Hyung-…….
It was a drawn-out way of saying Hyung, as if he was in deep trouble. As Eun-ha’s attention lingered for a moment, a voice cracked with self-reproach continued intermittently.
Ah, really…… I, yesterday…….
Eun-ha leaned against a pile of boxes stacked in a corner of the staff room, assuming a posture of quiet listening. It was a confession. He was sorry for making Eun-ha come out like that in the middle of the night, sorry for making him take care of someone when he must have been tired, and he didn’t really remember some things, but he was sorry for not remembering. Anyway, he was sorry for everything that happened last night.
And, also…….
“…….”
He had been apologizing so well, but at some point, his words trailed off. A dark silence followed. It didn’t feel like he had run out of things to say, but rather a hesitation close to being unable to utter the remaining words.
From that conscious silence, last night naturally came to mind. Crying, comforting, leading to a somewhat unsavory situation.
What followed was a faint sigh. A sigh, and then another sigh. Only at the end of that did an apology without an object finally reach him.
……I’m really sorry.
Eun-ha let out a silent puff of air and replied indifferently.
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I wasn’t bothered at all.”
There was no need to be so sorry. It wasn’t a big deal. It was awkward, but he wasn’t particularly upset, and ultimately, nothing happened. Eun-ha found that part much more impressive. It remained a more concerning memory. The fact that the series of events that happened yesterday were aborted by Yeon-jun’s refusal.
Even thinking about it again now, it was still a bit strange. Being rejected by someone who was erect was also a first.
He naturally expected Yeon-jun to pounce on him. Because he had lost his reason due to alcohol and even got hard. Every time he mentioned that he needed sex to sleep well, he would always spout cheeky nonsense like he didn’t care, it was okay, enough to make you want to punch him.
So, he had resolved to push him away, and he also anticipated that there might be a bit of a scuffle in the process. It was a situation that Eun-ha was very familiar with, so it didn’t make a big impression. He thought it would work out somehow. There was nothing more uncontrollable than a drunk person, but still, he was exceptionally kind. He thought he could push him away somehow.
But when he came to his senses, he was in the hallway of the building, and Eun-ha belatedly had to blink in bewilderment. Bewildered, and also strange.
Strange, and unfamiliar. He didn’t quite understand.
It was still an incomprehensible point. Especially since he was someone who liked him so much. Honestly, he had hinted several times that he wanted to do it. But why yesterday……. Such questions.
……You weren’t bothered at all?
Eun-ha paused at the slightly subdued voice that came then. He stopped thinking and opened his mouth.
“Well…… I just meant you don’t have to worry about it so much.”
…Okay….
It was an unsatisfactory answer. Like someone who had something suddenly rise up inside them.
After exchanging a few more words, he ended the call, but that process was also unsatisfactory. There was no problem on the surface, but somehow it felt strangely off. Even over the phone line, he could vaguely sense that the other person was deep in thought.
Eun-ha, who had ended the call with a conventional greeting, looked down at his phone with a somehow uneasy feeling.
“…….”
Seriously, he’s making me worry a lot.
He roughly knew why his mood had suddenly soured. It had meaning for him, but since the other person said it was nothing, he must have felt a bit torn.
It was just that it was true, so there was nothing he could do about it, but it was also true that it bothered him.
Eun-ha fiddled with his phone, then lightly shook his head and left the staff room. He was worried, but he didn’t want to worry. That was the right relationship for them. That was the right thing…….
‘Why are you always so nice to me…….’
The wavering voice came to mind. The eyelashes that were wet with moisture too.
Eun-ha shoved his phone deep into his pocket. Yeah. This is the right thing.
It wasn’t long before a message arrived from Yeon-jun.
The content was that he probably wouldn’t be able to see the end of the semester because of exams. Raising one eyebrow at the unexpected declaration, Eun-ha sent a reply.
You thought too well
Baek Yeon-jun
Too………
Too much
It was a message with a hint of resentment, but Eun-ha pretended not to notice and sent a reply.
Okay
Good luck
It was ten days until the end of the semester that he had heard about.
It had been four days since he had seen Yeon-jun.
Eun-ha stared blankly beyond the counter. His face, gazing at the noisy crowd of seats, was full of boredom.
Why do I feel so empty?
He was so bored and bored that he even wished a troublesome customer would come in. To make me a little more interested.
So, to the point of being a little embarrassed.
It was obvious what had brought about the emptiness.
‘……Have I become too used to it?’
They saw each other every day, chatted, went on dates, and called or texted whenever they had time. And all of that was done under Yeon-jun’s initiative. He met when he asked to meet, and he came to the café to chat. He always contacted him first.
Even if that was cut off in an instant, it wouldn’t be a problem for Eun-ha at all. That was the natural thing.
But.
“…….”
Eun-ha habitually scanned the messenger chat room with Yeon-jun. For the past few days, they had only exchanged a couple of words a day. Sleep well, eat well. Just that much.
Eun-ha, who had been reading the conversation records that had been repeated like an obligation, lifted his index finger meaninglessly over the keypad. What are you doing. I’m bored. Are you working on your exam assignment? Is it going well? Didn’t you say something wasn’t working out last time…… Before he knew it, Eun-ha, who had been listing the things he wanted to say, suddenly felt very dissatisfied with himself.
What am I going to do by contacting him first.
He slammed his phone face down on the desk. He tried to push away his thoughts. His nerves were heated sensitively. For an unknown reason.
As always, after leaving work early, he stopped at a fork in the road that led straight home. He stood in place for a long time as if contemplating, then suddenly turned and started walking. Towards the road leading to the university.
It was a very impulsive walk. He himself didn’t understand.
Then he made a reasonable rationalization. So, this is just like a walk. Nothing special. The weather is nice today. Walking around sunbathing on a day like this makes you feel good.
Then, if he met him, he would just say hello or chat for a while, and it wouldn’t matter at all if he didn’t meet him. That’s all.
He headed straight into the university like that. He moved his steps, only remembering that he had been there once before. He didn’t bother looking at the map app. That would be too intentional.
Eun-ha, who was walking leisurely as if he was really taking a walk, ran into Yeon-jun by chance on a gentle hill. As he was going up the sloping path leading to the College of Fine Arts, a group of people coming from the opposite side caught his eye in the distance. Yeon-jun, who was among four or five men and women of the same age, immediately stood out. Expressionless, he showed a slight smile at someone’s prompting, then returned to his expressionless state.
Since they were getting closer in the direction of facing each other, it was easy for their eyes to meet. Eun-ha slowly stopped walking, and Yeon-jun didn’t show any particular reaction. The group he belonged to was noisily joking among themselves as they gradually approached. Classmates? Eun-ha quickly scanned them once, then looked at Yeon-jun again.
Since they had met, he was going to say hello when they got close enough. Just briefly since he was with other people. He would say a few words like that and pass by.
Thinking that, Yeon-jun’s face was expressionless. With no emotion, no thoughts, and therefore cold.
It was the moment when they finally came right up to him.
In an instant, their eyes met accurately, and he was about to open his lips, but before he could, Yeon-jun passed by him as if he didn’t know him.
The sound of his group talking behind him pierced his eardrums. It echoed dully and gradually faded away. Eun-ha stiffened.
What is it? He felt like even his heart was freezing. As he stared blankly ahead, immersed in an indescribably cold sensation.
Suddenly, he heard the sound of footsteps running, as if jumping, coming back up the narrow space.
In an instant, Yeon-jun reappeared in front of him.
A familiar face with a bewildered expression.
“No, it’s not a dream.”
“…….”
“I thought I saw it wrong, Hyung…….”
Eun-ha, who had been frozen stiff until then, asked back a little blankly.
“Saw it wrong……?”
“I thought I was seeing a Hallucination.”
“…….”
“Because I wanted to see you.”
At that explanation, which was the same as usual and very unsubstantial, his strength suddenly drained away. A kind of unknown relief spread and his shoulders relaxed. Because that feeling was somehow unwelcome, Eun-ha was in the process of vaguely loosening his expression. Yeon-jun, who had been looking at him with a face containing a bit of complexity, soon raised a clear strange light in his eyes.
“How did you get here?”