By Zephyria 
He took a deep breath. As if crushing the roughly rising emotions, Eun-ha, who had closed his eyes for a long time and opened them, muttered softly.
“…I get it, so let go. Let me get dressed.”
“Hyung, you’re bleeding.”
“……”
“Please wait a moment.”
With those words, Yeon-jun put down his wrist and disappeared somewhere, not returning inside the partition. For some reason, it read like a consideration mindful of something, and his mouth tasted bitter. Perhaps the guess and the truth were not much different. Thinking about it made him feel overwhelmed with anguish, so Eun-ha forcibly emptied his head.
Before long, a nurse approached. After receiving simple treatment and some scolding from her, he was able to leave the hospital.
Outside, it was already dark. Lukewarm air clung to his cheeks. How much time had passed? Only belatedly did he remember and take out his cell phone, and Eun-ha couldn’t help but let out a hollow laugh. It was 10 p.m. He thought it was all kinds of things.
He stared blankly at somewhere in the parking lot, then lowered his gaze to his toes.
“When I came…”
“I came in an ambulance.”
Yeon-jun, who had followed him out, stood next to him and answered simply. It was the worst. Not a taxi, but an ambulance.
Eun-ha, who had been self-deprecating, soon rationally accepted it. Since the cause of not waking up was unknown, that would have been the most appropriate.
Separately, it was still the worst. His mood was the worst, and the situation was the same. He closed his eyes and woke up, and it was night from day. It was a seamless time for him, but it wouldn’t have been for Yeon-jun. As he cooled his head in the outside air, that fact came to him clearly on his skin.
How had he waited all this time? His particularly pale complexion and tired look were belatedly bothering him. When he recalled how he had responded to the person who had spent several hours playing the role of a guardian out of the blue, his self-reproach doubled.
He could have been annoyed, but Yeon-jun, whom he glanced at, was as calm as ever. He fiddled with his cell phone and said.
“I’ll call a taxi, Hyung.”
“……Okay.”
“How’s your body? Are you dizzy or anything?”
“I’m fine.”
Thanks to sleeping soundly and getting an IV drip, he felt rather light. Eun-ha crossed his arms and stroked his forearms. The taxi is coming soon – Yeon-jun, who briefly informed him and raised his eyes, briefly scanned Eun-ha.
“Are you cold?”
Eun-ha slowly released the strength from his hand that had been stroking his arm. Rather than containing any intention, it was just an extremely ordinary tone. A question that came out unconsciously without thinking.
Even though the daily temperature range was quite large, it wasn’t a temperature that would make him feel particularly cold. He wasn’t wearing particularly thin clothes either.
It was natural and yet refreshing, but he felt a sense of kindness. He also thought that this kind of casually revealed trivial nature was much more uncomfortable than when he deliberately acted nonchalantly and flirted cutely.
Just like that painting.
Eun-ha, who had become ambiguously stiff, shook his head and deliberately turned his body slightly towards the outside. It wasn’t because he was cold that he was stroking it, but because it was a habit to touch the scar. It was an awkward topic to explain unnecessarily. Fortunately, Yeon-jun understood the meaning of the gesture and didn’t say anything more.
The silence was not broken throughout the journey home. Eun-ha, who got out of the taxi, moved his steps wearily. Apart from his body being light, he felt heavy and exhausted. He wanted to go home and rest as soon as possible.
Yeon-jun, whom he thought he would part with in the elevator, naturally followed behind Eun-ha. He followed him to the front door as if to see him off. Eun-ha, who had missed the timing to send him back, again chewed on his discomfort and pressed the door lock password.
I have to say hello. I have to say I’m sorry, and thank you too… It was the moment he was organizing what to say.
“Hyung.”
A hand gently wrapped around his wrist.
“Eat well. They said your nutritional status isn’t good either.”
Pulled by the force of Yeon-jun weakly pulling on the grabbed arm, Eun-ha, who had come to face him, couldn’t find anything to say and looked up at him for a moment. As if interpreting that non-response, he met his gaze directly. As if urging.
“Yes?”
“……”
“Eat. Definitely.”
His mouth felt dry. It was a sound that fueled the constantly uncomfortable feeling. The more he showed his concern like this, the more he was buried in a terrible feeling of becoming a bad person. Whether it was guilt or shame, he couldn’t tell.
“…I’m sorry for ruining the date.”
He said, lowering his gaze. Because that would be the right thing to do for the person who had made him spend half a day in the hospital without any plans.
There was no answer. Puzzled by the lengthening silence, Eun-ha raised his eyes again and was able to meet Yeon-jun, who was looking down at him with an ambiguous expression.
“That’s now…”
What followed was a somewhat dry laughter.
“I don’t think that’s what you should be saying to me.”
It was a somewhat cold reply. It even sounded somewhat sarcastic, perhaps because of his mood, and his heart was momentarily hurt by those words. He didn’t know what more he was supposed to do. I can’t do anything more for you than this.
“Then what am I supposed to say?”
“You don’t have to say anything.”
“……”
“You don’t have to worry about anything either. Just, you don’t have to think about me. Hyung.”
Yeon-jun slightly furrowed his brow. As if he still couldn’t understand.
“It’s not Hyung’s fault.”
“……”
“What’s the problem?”
…Ah. Eun-ha blankly blinked his eyes. Only after hearing the voice that was saying that did he realize. That he had been thinking it was his fault all along. That he had been blaming himself for causing trouble, and had been constantly dwelling on the self-deprecation that stemmed from it.
His physical condition, whether it was good or bad, had been consistently out of his mind. Rather, his attention had been focused on Yeon-jun, who had been waiting and caring for him all along. Because Eun-ha didn’t know about worry in a harmless form that didn’t require reciprocation.
With a faint doubt about how such a thing could exist, and ridiculously, only then did the realization that he was feeling a bit unwell now clearly wash over him. Only very belatedly.
His fingertips tingled with the impact as if his inner thoughts had been pierced through. As if fleeing from the gaze that was staring down at him, Eun-ha frantically rolled his eyes.
“I’m sor… Haa.”
“……”
“Let’s talk about it later.”
He vaguely smoothed over the situation with a dizziness that seemed to only become more complicated the more he delved into it. He frantically pressed the door lock password, opened the door, and entered the hallway, muttering “Goodbye” softly. It was the moment he was about to close it as it was. Yeon-jun simply squeezed in. He blocked the door with his shoulder and tilted his head towards Eun-ha, who was looking at him questioningly.
“Let me in.”
It was a sudden request. Eun-ha raised one eyebrow.
“…What?”
“I want to see you eat.”
“What…”
“You said you were sorry for ruining the date.”
“……”
“You said we have to hold hands and eat to call it a date.”
His mind loosened loosely at the logic that quoted a conversation from some time ago. While he was gaping, Yeon-jun warmly wrapped his hand around Eun-ha’s wrist again with the hand that had somehow fallen away.
“So if you show me you eating, it might not be a completely ruined date.”
He raised a bit of playfulness in his pupils as if to change the atmosphere. He was reminded of the previous urging to make sure to eat. It seemed like he had changed his mind. It seemed like he wouldn’t be satisfied unless he saw him taking care of his meal with his own eyes.
“…What is that?”
The more he pondered it, the more absurd the logic was, but it was also true that he had lost his strength. Eun-ha, who gave a hollow laugh, soon awkwardly fiddled with the doorknob. Even so, he didn’t want to let him into his house.
It wasn’t for any other reason. Simply because the refrigerator would be empty as always.
“…I don’t like letting anyone into my house.”
When he made a suitable excuse, Yeon-jun wore a subtle look. After being silent for a few seconds, he said briefly.
“I see.”
It was an answer that sounded quite formal.
“Then let’s stop by my house for a bit.”
“……”
“I think going out to eat would be tiring for Hyung.”
Was it that important? Eun-ha, who wasn’t hungry and therefore didn’t have any intention of eating even if he went home, hesitated for a moment in front of Yeon-jun, who was showing a stubborn attitude.
Then, he reluctantly surrendered. What more could he do? He took a light sigh and took a step.