By Zephyria 
When Gu Hae-bin realized that Eun-ha was slowly starting to go outside again, he couldn’t hide his relief, looking as if a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He paused when he found out that the purpose was casual sex with strangers, but soon quietly overlooked it, thinking that even that was better than nothing.
But now, he was disliking it. He had thought it was just a temporary stepping stone, but when it became a fixed part of his life, he secretly showed signs of disapproval. He interfered and picked fights. It was all out of concern, probably. He had asked a few times in passing if he wasn’t going to date, and when he showed no signs of doing so, he even went as far as to have Mom bring up blind dates she had found out about, subtly urging him on. Telling him to at least pretend to do that.
It’s funny that he, of all people, was known for his extremely promiscuous behavior.
When pointed out, Gu Hae-bin always used the same logic. I was always like this, but you weren’t.
“…….”
Eun-ha briefly recalled his past self, who had been very honest, clumsy, and utterly innocent. Emotionlessly, as if recalling someone else.
So what if that’s how it was? Where is the original, and where is the not? The idea of something being eternally someone else’s business is what’s truly nonexistent. Wasn’t it because he foolishly believed in that and had a wreck? Thinking it wouldn’t be his problem. That it wouldn’t happen to him.
That they were different.
It was a sunny day. Eun-ha, leaning his elbows on the balcony railing, idly fiddled with his phone. It seemed that summer was definitely approaching. Every now and then, he felt suffocated and his head buzzed. Complex thoughts filled his head like dense air, and his temples throbbed with stress for no reason.
He scrolled down through his messenger app conversation history. Unread messages were piled up. All of them were invitations to meet up. People he had met lightly once or twice and passed by. Or partners he had broken up with a long time ago. He usually ignored them, but when he needed something, he would look through them like this.
This one… seemed a bit too perverted, and this one… seems worse than the one before.
He was comparing who to contact, pondering over it.
His thumb, which had been scanning the screen, slowly stopped at a certain point.
His lowered eyes became thoughtful. He vaguely stretched his lips and tapped on the chat room.
Thinking about it, I don’t think Hyung knows my number
You need contact information to get in touch……
So it’s not like I contacted you first
“Ah.”
Really, how could he be so transparent?
For some reason, he felt his head clearing. As if he was being infected by a simple, clear, and firm emotion.
“He’s so hopeless…….”
Hopeless, bold, adorable…….
Eun-ha, who had weakly let out a noncommittal laugh, soon wore a deeply troubled expression. Like someone facing a difficult and unsolvable problem.
With a restless feeling, he tapped on the profile that was displayed. The first thing he saw was a photo of a cat with chubby cheeks, with a hand on its chin. He observed the neat shape of the hand, which conveyed a strong sense of affection for the subject, and then swiped to the next page.
A photo taken with friends on graduation day. A photo taken in front of an easel at what appeared to be a cram school, with his work clothes covered in paint. A photo, with the focus completely blurred, of him smiling in his school uniform under the early evening sky.
Countless other some-days were recorded. He seemed to like taking photos. And he didn’t seem to hesitate to record it and show it.
Does he really not know how strange, absurd, and peculiar it is for someone like you to be doing this to ‘me’?
Eun-ha sighed deeply and looked up at the sky outside the railing. Clouds were drifting by leisurely.
“Hey. Western painting department slut.”
He had been sitting with his back against the wall of an old building. Jiyu sauntered over, his hands in the front pockets of his work clothes. It was a shady spot near the outdoor workshop. He must have spotted him while working on an assignment and came over.
Yeon-jun, who had been listlessly staring at something in the air, raised his head. As he slightly stretched his lips at the dishonorable nickname, Jiyu scolded him as if he had been waiting for it.
“Are you laughing? What’s so good about it that you’re laughing? You fool.”
Yeon-jun shrugged his shoulders, pretending to wipe his eyes with his index finger.
“I can’t cry either. Wouldn’t want to make anyone happy.”
Jiyu gritted his teeth and squatted down in front of Yeon-jun. He rested his arms on his knees like a thug. He was a friend who had been close to him since his Noonas had introduced them when they were young. They had prepared for college entrance exams together and entered the same university’s College of Arts side by side. Although they were in different departments, Western Painting and Sculpture.
“What are you doing here, alone?”
Jiyu asked with narrowed eyes.
“Aren’t you working on an assignment? Your department’s studio seemed busy too.”
“I can’t focus…….”
His voice was drained of energy. Yeon-jun leaned his head back, resting it against the wall he was leaning against. Shadows cast by the dense trees rippled across his white face. He lowered his head, his eyes filled with the complex sight of the swaying leaves. His gaze was directed at the phone he held captive in his hands.
The phone was silent as ever today. It was the cause of all the recent turmoil and anguish.
“Why? Is it because of those third-year guys?”
Ah, depressing. Yeon-jun looked at Jiyu blankly, as if he had just thought of it. Thinking it was an irrelevant topic.
“Are they still being assholes these days?”
“Well……. It’s similar.”
He seemed to have misdiagnosed the cause of his bad complexion. When Yeon-jun gave a perfunctory answer, Jiyu began to criticize them in earnest. Anyway, those petty bastards, those guys who don’t know where they ate their age, blah blah blah…….
It had happened at the beginning of the semester. He had taken care of a Sunbae who had become unconscious at a drinking party and let him sleep at his house, which led to an unsavory scandal. It turned out that the Sunbae had a boyfriend in the same department, and he had raged and pointed the finger at Yeon-jun.
When he opened his eyes, he had become a piece of trash who had cheated with someone who had a lover. It was such a baseless misunderstanding that he didn’t even get angry, just confused, but in the meantime, the rumors spread like wildfire, and thanks to that, Yeon-jun had to go to school for a while with slanders dangling from him. Slut, playboy, womanizer, son of a bitch.
In particular, the group of male Sunbaes centered around the Sunbae’s boyfriend, Young-min, hated Yeon-jun intensely. They glared at him with ferocious eyes whenever they met and gossiped loudly enough for him to hear. When he passed by, they seemed to get angry and whispered even more colorful criticisms.
It was a bizarre situation caused by a wrong he hadn’t committed, so he didn’t pay much attention to it, but Jiyu did. He was constantly indignant and felt wronged as if he were the one involved. Even now, it was the same.
“It’s ridiculous that they’re so eager to torment someone.”
He really didn’t care, but Yeon-jun simply offered packaged words to his friend, who was worried about him and getting angry on his behalf.
“Yeah. Thanks. I would have been an outcast without you.”
“Sorry, but you’re already an outcast.”
“Ah.”
Is that so? It’s not that bad anymore. The misunderstanding had been cleared up to some extent and the situation had improved a lot. The hatred of the third-year male Sunbaes still continued, but Yeon-jun didn’t care. He didn’t care about that. Not even once.