By Zephyria Hugo couldn’t easily speak. It was because he had been deeply stabbed in the heart. Fearing that his composure-lost inner self would be reflected in his Gold Eyes, he deliberately maintained a cold expression while remaining silent.
However, Leonardo felt the subtle current conveyed from the clasped hands, not the other’s blunt face. He looked up at the cold man, who was clearly shaken by what he had said while pretending not to be, as if resenting him.
“It’s been like that since this morning, you’re deliberately distancing yourself. Do you think I wouldn’t know? Why are you suddenly doing this?”
He vented the emotions he had been suppressing all day to Hugo.
“Is it because I told you not to interfere? Did you get upset because of that? Are you angry at me because of that?”
Leonardo shook the large hand he was holding and urged him to answer. It was as if he was throwing a tantrum, but at the same time, he seemed to be asking for forgiveness.
The voice, in which the two nuances coexisted, sounded very anxious and restless. As if he was afraid that he would leave him behind, a sense of desperation was intertwined at the tips of his grasped fingers.
He was quick-witted, so he must have noticed that he was keeping a certain distance, but Hugo never expected him to think that he was angry, so he wanted to correct the misunderstanding. He firmly grasped the other’s hand and said in a sincere voice.
“I’m not angry. Why would I be angry at you?”
However, Leonardo didn’t seem to believe him.
“…You always say you’re not doing something, but you do it. You say you’re not avoiding me, but you avoid me, and you say you’re not angry, but you are.”
“I―, ……Ha. No, I didn’t avoid you. And I never got angry.”
Hugo, who was naturally about to retort, asking when he had done that, suddenly stopped speaking as a few scenes came to mind. Then, he shook his head and corrected his thoughts. It was true that he wasn’t angry. It wasn’t something to be angry about, and there was no reason to be angry. He added in a calm voice.
“I’ve been busy with work lately, sorting out the situation. Of course, I understand that you felt that way. I should have taken better care of you, but I was too distracted.”
Mentioning appropriate facts, expressing understanding for the other, and even reflecting on his own actions. His response was always excellent. But to Leonardo, it sounded very contradictory.
“Liar.”
Leonardo, who had bitten his lip, spat out the word. His eyes were sharp, but they were filled with resentment.
Hugo felt as if his inner self had been pierced by that one word. He was flustered, but of course, he didn’t show it outwardly.
Leonardo, who had been watching the silent Hugo, frowned deeply and turned his head away. At the same time, he raised his stiff left arm and roughly swept back his bangs. He hated that the situation was turning out like this again.
He knew that Agrizendro had so much responsibility that even two bodies wouldn’t be enough. So he waited quietly. Even when he said he would be back soon and didn’t come back all night, even when he emptied a bottle and a half of strong liquor and discussed the return route, leaving his seat until dawn.
But now, everything he said didn’t feel sincere. When he brought up Flynn’s name and tried to hold him back indirectly, he acted very firmly, but when his own turn came, he always hid behind responsibility and the situation.
Leonardo guessed that there was another reason, but he couldn’t bring himself to press Hugo, who said he was busy. Looking back on the conversation they were having now, he was just a brat whining to a busy person.
The unbridgeable gap between himself and this person, stemming from their positional and emotional differences, was clear. So today, yesterday, and back then. It was always his job to read his mood and wait.
Even so, he had smiled in front of everyone and bestowed upon him the glory of the name “hero,” so he hoped that he would be by his side tonight so that he wouldn’t be lonely. But even that was a situation where he had to corner him, ask why, and fight to achieve it.
His powerless, drooping shoulders rose and fell rapidly. It was a sign that he was suppressing his heart when his breathing was heavy.
Hugo, who had been watching, brought his hand to Leonardo’s lower lip as if to tell him not to bite it, fearing that blood would form on his bitten lip.
But Leonardo strongly expressed his intention not to be touched with a nod. Then, he roughly pulled out his hand, which was intertwined with Hugo’s.
Just as Hugo paused at the warmth that had escaped, Leonardo said to him in a subdued voice.
“You said that interfering with me and protecting me was your duty.”
Leonardo took Hugo back to that time when he first felt the strange current, to the end of the messy conversation.
Hugo’s eyes became ambiguous as he listened. Leonardo parted his lips and asked with difficulty.
“Then were the things you said last time also said out of a sense of duty? That you were worried about me, that you were anxious that I would get hurt. Were those all said because of duty? Not sincere?”
Leonardo was gently pressing Hugo, but he didn’t know exactly what he wanted to hear. He just wanted to hear some kind of confirmation because he felt like the person who wouldn’t have done that in the past was constantly avoiding him.
In this desolate subjugation party now that Nero was gone, Agrizendro’s presence was incomparable to anything else to him. So he hoped that his presence was by no means small to the other as well. He knew that the size wouldn’t be the same, but their presence was clearly in each other’s hearts and in the time they had shared.
Besides, when tomorrow’s sun rose, the Central Branch would return to the Zodiac. The hourglass of himself and this person was flowing towards its end.
So, even though he knew that revealing deep emotions was wrong, Leonardo didn’t want to face farewell in this way. Since he was said to care for him, he wanted to take the end of this subjugation as a beautiful memory that he could look back on.
Leonardo looked down at the distance between Hugo and himself, then raised his melancholic eyelids and stared at the other. He then let out a low sigh and threatened him.
“If it was duty, you can go. I don’t want to be with someone who says those things out of a sense of duty.”
Hugo’s pupils moved slightly at the resolute voice. But there was still no sign of agitation.
Leonardo gritted his teeth at the other, who was still aloof until the end, and said, breaking his pride.
“But, if there was even a little bit of sincerity―.”
He paused for a beat, then closed his eyes tightly and muttered.
“Don’t go. Stay by my side tonight.”
Hugo looked at the pitiful beauty who was telling him with his whole body to stay by his side.
“…….”
Only each other’s breathing could be heard in the silence that lasted for about a minute.
He couldn’t remember the process of how the situation had turned out like this at all. Hugo’s gaze lingered on the drooping golden eyelashes for a long time.
Leonardo, who was at an age when he was young and passionate, cherished each of his words with all his heart every time. He was comforted and hurt by it, and he held on tightly to even the trivial things that he himself would have overlooked, cherishing them.
So Hugo couldn’t say even a simple word to this poor hero insincerely. Although he was cautious by nature, he thought and worried even more deeply in front of him.
The eyelashes that were precariously hanging over the Gold Eyes created a tempting tremor that made him want to reach out and caress the corners of his eyes. It shattered his flimsy resolution to keep a proper distance. So, even while recalling all the social responsibilities he bore on his shoulders, Hugo felt the urge to relieve them just a little.
Let’s not leave the hero of the nation, soaked in loneliness and yearning for warmth, alone here on the day he should be most celebrated. I simply wanted to be with him, thinking that way. But the reason I couldn’t was simple. It was my fault, cowardly and immature.
Soon, when the promised time arrived, both I and Leonardo would have to return to our places. But with each subjugation, Hugo had to face his contradictory inner self, which wanted to change the ending he would face at the end of this.
Even if he tried to look away, this young man put him on the stand of innocence every time. Hugo found it very uncomfortable. It felt like his solid reason was being shaken to its core by someone else.
He closed his eyes tightly and sighed deeply inside. Soon, the voice that flowed out between his teeth was definitely not his own.
“You sometimes make me look like a really bad person.”
Leonardo, who had been looking down, slyly raised his head at those words.
Hugo stared at the person who made him unlike himself with loosely unfocused eyes.
His mind built a flimsy defense, telling him not to make the one who had been waiting for him wait this time.
After this time today, who knows what difficulties might come before him and his companion. So just for today, just for this night like the eve of a storm, let’s give in to the beautiful boy’s wishes. Hugo made a one-night compromise with his reason. Just one night, only one night.
He made a firm resolution alone, then reached out and wrapped his hand around the back of Leonardo’s neck. He caressed his own handkerchief that brushed against his palm and ruffled the long golden hair at the back of his head.
He traced the flushed skin in between with his fingertips, then pulled Leonardo toward him.
He envisioned a future where his dishonorable sincerity would gnaw at him. Wavering for someone who needs comfort, he might regret this moment tomorrow.
Even so, Hugo decided to care only for the little sun now, even if he had to take all the disgrace upon himself.
As if asking for forgiveness from the one who was tired of waiting, he gently kissed the beautiful forehead.
“……!”
As the dizzying sensation pressed down on his skin, Leonardo’s eyes widened as if sparks were flying.
The hot shiver that landed on his forehead traveled down his nose and scalp, past his neck, and made his shoulders tremble.
The heavy breath caressed his brow and eyelids along the graceful curves. Finally, it ruthlessly pressed down on his slender eyelashes.
Even as the shadow cast over his eyes retreated, keeping its distance, Leonardo couldn’t quite grasp what had happened. He simply stared blankly at the other man with a dazed expression, and Hugo rubbed the red corners of his eyes that his lips had brushed with his thumb.
He met the hazy Gold Eyes, then slowly pulled Leonardo into his arms, embracing his back.
The warm heat stiffened for a moment, but soon seemed to find its place, wrapping around his broad chest. A large hand cupped the small head and rested it on his shoulder.
He buried his breath in the golden hair and swore.
“I’ll be by your side.”