4 – Easter Egg

There were no clocks in the annex. Even the large digital clock that the designer had installed had been removed a long time ago. 30 minutes, 1 hour, half a day, a day, two days, sometimes several months… Measuring the time spent on a piece of work was not good for my mental health.

From the moment it became the studio of the painter Kang Hae-ah, there were no clocks in the annex. So, I didn’t even know the time I died. I only remembered that it was a slow-setting afternoon.

Maybe that was a good thing. Thanks to that, even when I entered the annex that had been turned into a studio once again, I didn’t have any specific fears. The information about what day, what time, and what minute I shouldn’t lie down here, on this sofa, on this vinyl, was blank.

What I felt first when I entered the studio late tonight was not some vague fear of death.

‘Oh, damn…. Everything I drew is gone.’

I wondered if this was how a programmer felt when the office lost power before pressing the ‘Save’ button. No, even that wouldn’t be able to understand even 1/10th of my current feelings.

It had been a full six years. Six years of spending sleepless nights in frustration, feeling proud while choosing frames, suffering from self-loathing that I had no talent, breaking my brush, and drinking alcohol from the age of twenty-six to thirty-two. Not a single one of the paintings I had drawn for six years remained.

I felt empty when I saw the blank canvas. I slumped down on the plush chair I had taken out of Tae-rim-ssi’s study, took off my slippers, and hugged my legs.

‘I want to cry….’

I missed the works that had flown away like mountain birds and slowly got up from my seat. This was not the time to be doing this. The paintings only remained in my head, so I had to transfer them to real objects before my memory became even more blurred.

I spread out paper for sketching on the wide, dark brown table. I poured out conte, pencils, and pastels together and began to pour out the paintings in my head, one by one.

After marrying Tae-rim-ssi, Kang Hae-ah’s life had taken a downward turn. I had at least received recognition for my work, but I was marked by a severe slump and a sense of shame as a Beta, and I cried throughout the work. By the end of the exhibition, hair had fallen out in patches on the back of my head, and I had to pay attention to styling. I didn’t have hair loss, but I had unknowingly been tearing at it, and that’s how it ended up.

Moreover, that exhibition, the one that Father had asked for and Chief Prosecutor Cheon Hee-jung had arranged, had completely torn apart the relationship between Tae-rim-ssi and me.

I had to minimize the time spent on painting. That was the only way to prepare for the things that were about to happen. That was why I had sneaked out to the annex tonight, leaving Tae-rim-ssi in the bedroom.

‘Let’s get it done quickly, quickly. Title, color, theme….’

I rubbed the pastel-stained palms of my hands on my apron to wipe them clean.

When people thought of the painter Kang Hae-ah, they would probably imagine an elegant man wearing a designer shirt and beige pants, holding a brush. Sitting on a stool in a clean, sunlit studio, he would carefully look at the canvas, add one touch, then another, and before he knew it, the painting would be finished, and he would leisurely listen to the violin solo playing from the speakers.

The reality was not like that. The real Kang Hae-ah was holed up in a dark studio at night, sketching while crawling on the table. The music he listened to was a medley of labor songs, and white shirts were forbidden attire in the studio. He only dressed up neatly when people came to do interviews, but usually, he wore a one-piece work suit and a tattered apron.

The life of an artist was glamorous on the outside, but the work itself was labor. The only difference from a simple laborer was that the results were sold at a high price, but there were many painters who didn’t even have that difference.

I was lucky. Thanks to my father, who had predetermined my life, I went to study abroad early, and I decided early on what to learn and what style of painting to have.

‘It would have been nice if it had been conceptual art….’

Art that was close to the public was still a work drawn on canvas. That was another reason why my life was difficult.

My back was aching, so I got up for a moment. Then, I looked over the sketches I had drawn on the paper. The future works in my head were again in front of my eyes in rough form.

“Hoo….”

It would be difficult to complete them exactly the same because I was a person, not a machine, but the works that had gone through several practices were like my own children to me. Children eventually resemble their parents, so they would be completed with similar faces.

Just like me, who became a son suitable for Chairman Kang Jun-il.

I lined up the prepared canvases and tore off the masking tape. Eleven 30-size works, two 50-size series, one 100-size work that a madam would love in two months and would be hung in her department store gallery, and two more series with similar compositions… The completed sketches were plastered all over a total of sixteen canvases.

I put a roll of masking tape on my wrist like a bracelet and sat down on the wheeled chair. I sat down with a squeak and started the base work from the 30-size. I moved it as meticulously and detailed as possible, even writing down notes on important parts.

Next, next, and next… As I worked on each piece, dragging the chair wheels, the sketches and base colors were roughly completed. It was really fortunate that I was only dealing with formless abstract outlines. If I had been a realist painter, six years would have been too much; I would have bitten my tongue even if only one year’s worth of paintings had been lost.

Even if it looks like a simple abstraction, time flies by when you actually work on it. It was even more so because it wasn’t just one or two pieces, but sixteen.

I massaged my stiff right hand with my left and got up from the chair. A cramp had risen in my left leg, so I had to limp.

The 100-size canvas was about as tall as a normal person, so I had to step back a couple of steps to see the work properly. Only from a distance could I see at a glance whether the painting was balanced and whether the structure was right. I narrowed my eyes and scanned the differences between the work in my memory and the work in front of me.

“Ah… when am I going to find the materials to put in here?”

I sighed deeply.

I threw the oily, wide brush into the brush cleaner. Dirty oil paint droplets splashed out of the container. My eyes stung from the sticky oil smell.

My apron, of course, as well as my socks, the sleeves of my work clothes, and the palms of my hands were covered in paint stains. Still, at this pace, I wouldn’t have to stay up all night painting the edges of the canvas until the day before the exhibition, like I used to.

I tore off a bunch of paper towels and wiped my hands. I scanned each of my lined-up, hateful and pretty babies.

‘Hmm, good, good, will be well-received, good, won’t sell but the variety is good, good…’

At the end of scanning the last canvas, a dark shadow standing in front of the door came into my view.

“Aah!”

I screamed in shock and collapsed. I heard the sound of my butt hitting the sheet-covered floor with a thud. My legs gave way and my heart raced.

The owner of the shadow was also surprised by my terrified scream.

“Tae-rim-ssi…”

My face, which had turned white with shock, was now flushed red with embarrassment.

“Oh… I’m sorry. Are you hurt?”

Tae-rim-ssi walked in towards me, who was just gaping. At such times, he was in ‘no-entry-to-the-studio attire’. His white shirt was stiff at the collar, and his suit pants were sharply creased. I stared blankly at the jacket hanging on his arm and the watch on his left hand.

“Uh…”

I turned my head and looked out the window, and the sun was already bright. I had been holed up in the studio all night without even realizing it was morning.

“S-sorry for screaming. I didn’t expect Tae-rim-ssi to come here…”

“I stopped by to say hello before going to work.”

When I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand, the temperature of my face was hot. I felt damp, as if I was sweating. Tae-rim-ssi reached out his hand in front of me as I stammered and raised my knees.

When I was holed up in the detached house, Tae-rim-ssi used to leave me alone. There was a time when that was an unspoken agreement between us. The studio was solely Kang Hae-ah’s space, and the main house was where Cheon Tae-rim would rest. So don’t leave the house to avoid me… a promise filled with such pathetic wishes.

I stared blankly at his hand placed neatly in front of my face, then forcibly supported myself on my knees and stood up on my own. I wish I were a watercolor painter, I thought. The oil smell of oil paints wouldn’t be easy to get rid of, so I couldn’t let it get on him as he went to work.

“Did you have breakfast? Ok-hye-ssi made it, right?”

I asked, dusting off the seat of my work pants. I was embarrassed by my grimy appearance after staying up all night.

‘Tae-rim-ssi must have imagined a cool painter or something…’

I lowered my head and pressed down on my bangs with the back of my hand. I hurriedly ran to the table and unplugged the speaker cord playing an idol medley.

Tae-rim-ssi was silent for a moment. With the hand I had refused in his pocket, he was looking at the wall of the studio. The canvases, with the paint still wet, were neatly arranged.

“Did you paint all of these… overnight?”

“Ah, ah! Don’t look, it’s still in the preliminary stages. That, that one in particular, I just included it to fill the space, I know it’s completely awful.”

Cheon Tae-rim looking at my work with a serious face, the shocking presence made me sweat. I wasn’t even this nervous on the day of my first solo exhibition in Paris, but anyway, Cheon Tae-rim was always the first in everything for me.

Whether I stopped him or not, Tae-rim-ssi looked over the canvases that weren’t dry yet, the sketches stuck next to them, and the memos attached with Post-it notes. The paintings that the person who had to go to work was taking the time to look at one by one felt like my naked self.

“Tae-rim-ssi? Um…”

As I hesitated and stuck close to his side, Tae-rim-ssi looked up at the pastel-stained table and the canvas rack that filled the inner wall.

‘Canvas rack’ was, in simple terms, a canvas bookshelf. When I said I was going to set up the detached house as Kang Hae-ah’s studio, the designer made it as a housewarming gift, each shelf very long and wide. I was grateful that she knew that all the works had to be stood up due to the nature of the wooden frame, so I readily brought it in and used it.

Well, I didn’t really need it because I used a light iron frame instead of wood… but I liked the look of it anyway.

Tae-rim-ssi looked up at the canvases stacked neatly on the rack with a very serious face. I also looked at the canvas rack intently, wondering if there was something wrong. But there was nothing wrong.

The canvas rack I had was no different from a bookshelf filled with books. The only difference was that the side of the canvas was visible instead of the spine of the book, and my signature was written at the bottom.

“Are all the things stacked here Hae-ah-ssi’s works?”

Tae-rim-ssi asked, looking over the works stacked up to the second floor and the small ladder. I felt a little awkward.

“Ah… I have to pick a day to tear them all down, but I’m too lazy. I guess the center moved them all here without knowing what’s what, but I’ll take care of it soon.”

“Are you going to throw them away? …All of these?”

“They’re all practice pieces.”

I forcibly lowered my hand, which kept going to the back of my head. I quickly shoved both hands into my apron pockets. I couldn’t be the guy who picks at his hair next to Tae-rim-ssi.

“Let’s hang one in the house.”

Tae-rim-ssi said.

“Huh? My painting? Why?”

“Does Kang Hae-ah-ssi live in the detached house?”

Occasionally, no, very often, Tae-rim-ssi asked me questions that were difficult to answer. The Cheon Tae-rim I used to know wasn’t a man who was curious about my answers, but the Cheon Tae-rim I met again was.

“…I don’t feel Hae-ah-ssi’s presence anywhere in the house. To me, it feels like a penthouse set up for me to live well alone.”

My heart stung at his words. It was a very accurate assessment, as it was indeed a house set up for Cheon Tae-rim-ssi to live well, tailored to him from head to toe.

“Honestly, I’m surprised. I also like that you opened up the second-floor terrace… and even the study chair is comfortably adequate.”

The chair! I knew he would like it. I felt proud at Tae-rim-ssi’s praise.

“That’s why I don’t like it.”

Then he plopped down.

“No… you said you liked it, so why don’t you like it? Cheon Tae-rim-ssi is a really difficult person.”

“How difficult can I be compared to Kang Hae-ah-ssi?”

“What’s wrong with me?”

I laughed in absurdity. I moved to the chair, rubbing my still-sore butt. As I sat down on the plush chair, Tae-rim-ssi looked at my slippers caught on my feet, the folded-up hem of my work pants, and my grimy apron in turn.

It’s embarrassing when you look at me like that…

“Hang it, Hae-ah-ssi’s painting. Just one in the first-floor hallway.”

Tae-rim-ssi said. Since you’re saying it so much, I couldn’t possibly have the option to refuse.

“Okay, I’ll draw one.”

I replied, taking a deep breath, and

“The paintings stacked there look good enough.”

Tae-rim-ssi scratched at my insides again.

“No, the paintings I sold for money are all hanging in other people’s houses, and you want me to hang failed practice pieces in our house? Absolutely not.”

“……”

Tae-rim-ssi closed his mouth as I shook my head and repeated ‘no, no’. I declared with a solemn determination that I would draw a new painting that would suit our house. So that he wouldn’t be interested in my practice pieces anymore.

Then Cheon Tae-rim smiles. I looked up at his small, scoffing face with a grumpy feeling.

“There’s no one more difficult than Kang Hae-ah-ssi.”

“……”

What did I do… The retort came up to the roof of my mouth and then subsided. He was saying that with that face and that smile, so I couldn’t say anything. I just picked up a pencil and pretended to scribble letters in the corner of the sketch.

I glanced at Tae-rim-ssi’s profile. I liked the way he was looking at my failures piled up to the second floor as if he were looking out the window.

I folded the hastily drawn sketch in half and hid it in my pocket. And I asked.

“Tae-rim-ssi, are you busy today then?”

“I guess so. I have something to do in the evening too…”

“I see.”

When I got up from the chair and approached him, Tae-rim-ssi stopped. He stopped walking towards the wide-open detached house door and turned to look at me.

He was waiting for me to say goodbye.

“Then… have a good day.”

I said hesitantly.

“I will.”

Tae-rim-ssi repeated my words like a parrot.

I should have said goodbye with more wonderful words if I had known. I regretted it as I watched his back as he walked towards the waiting car.

It was an irregular vibration that woke me from my nap. When I lifted my heavy eyelids, I saw my cell phone ringing.

It was really nice to be young and healthy. I had stayed up all night, but my energy had returned after sleeping for a few hours.

When I tapped the screen of my cell phone, a chat window I had never seen before opened. It was a group chat room where four of my graduate school classmates were talking about me without me.

Familiar names went up, up, like waves. New conversations were happening in real time. I was happy to see the profile pictures of my friends who used emoticons that were popular in the past and who I used to be close to.

Was it around twenty-eight years old… After my relationship with Tae-rim-ssi deteriorated and Chief Prosecutor Cheon Hee-jung passed away, I had no chance to meet or share news with my Korean friends.

My few friends in Seoul were congratulating me on my wedding. I tapped and entered answers to the texts asking if I was done with being busy and if we could see each other.

I scrolled up the screen and looked over the contents that had been exchanged. It seemed that my friends had already gathered in one place.

[We’re preparing for a group exhibition, so we’re always together. We just need you, Hae-ah!!]

Maybe it was because I had been working for a while that my brain had softened, and I was reminded of the memories of graduate school, when I was enjoying painting and life as an artist. I was excited just thinking about meeting my friends from that time.

[Okay, good. Where are you now? I’ll go.]

I quickly typed the text and roughly washed up and put on some clothes. It might be Kang Hae-ah seeing her friends in half a year, but from my point of view, it was like a reunion after almost four years. Ok-hye-ssi followed me as I hurriedly grabbed my wallet and went downstairs.

“Are you going out? Driver Oh went home early today…”

“I’m going to meet a friend. Please call me a taxi.”

I left the house, excited like a dog on a walk. I followed the address I received in the text and arrived, and the meeting place was a wine bar located near the train station.

“Oh, she’s here, she’s here!”

A familiar face shouted ‘Kang Hae-ah’. He laughed, half surprised and half happy. I saw the faces of Hyung-sik hyung, Jun-woo, and Ki-young… or was it Ki-hyung, who had been sitting next to me in the studio during graduate school. Next to them, I also saw Hye-rim noona, who I often talked to in the smoking room.

‘Alpha, alpha, alpha, only noona is Beta…’

I classified them in order. It was a new habit that I didn’t have when I was Beta.

All four of them had red faces. They seemed to be quite drunk already. It seemed they had rented out the entire place to drink.

They made room for me in the center of the noisy table, so I sat down. Greetings like ‘nice to see you’ and ‘congratulations on your wedding’ were exchanged very briefly.

“What were you talking about?”

I asked Hye-rim noona quietly. Then noona chuckled and put down her glass.

“Talking about Jun-woo’s classes. They’ve been fighting among themselves since earlier. One of the undergraduates is a complete psycho and is trying to get on Jun-woo’s nerves.”

I glanced at noona, who was drinking the remaining wine as if emptying it, and stole a glance at the heat of the energetic guys. And I traced back my memories.

So, around this time, Jun-woo was a part-time lecturer at a university. Hye-rim noona hadn’t succeeded yet, so it was a time when she was close to these guys, and Hyung-sik hyung’s drinking habits were still the same. It was like poking at Jun-woo’s pride and watching him get angry.

“So, you can’t say ‘visual work’, that’s it. What does a college student know, being so arrogant?”

“No, the work you want isn’t visual, it’s photographic, right? Don’t you know Cézanne, Cézanne?”

I watched the two people raising their voices like watching a sitcom. I picked up a few pieces of cheese and ordered a new bottle of wine. Noona leaned towards me and showed interest, saying ‘What is our Hae-ah drinking?’

‘Our Hae-ah’…. The shell is the twenty-six-year-old Hae-ah, but the core is thirty-two years old, so this place wasn’t that fun.

In a slightly listless state, I watched the two friends having an art debate that was different from A to O. If it were in the past, I would have joined the conversation and argued with my thoughts attached to the phrases I saw in books, but I didn’t feel like it now.

I just sat there quietly for about ten minutes and watched the heat. Some of the silly jokes were still funny even now.

“Sorry I couldn’t go to the wedding.”

Hye-rim noona whispered. Jun-woo, who had been pretending not to hear noona and my conversation, suddenly,

“Yeah! Sorry, Hae-ah! That’s why we called you today.”

He shouted loudly. I laughed at the feeling that my ears were ringing. As I waved my hand, saying it was okay, okay, an employee put down a new appetizer and a bottle of wine next to me.

‘Wow’ Hyung-sik hyung clapped.

“As expected of Kang Hae-ah! You’re the one who got married, but you’re also buying the drinks?”

The four of them were already drunk, and I was the only one sober and in my thirties, so I thought this wouldn’t work. I sighed deeply and poured a freshly poured glass of wine down my throat. The volume of the chuckling jokes then felt like it had decreased.

As I smelled the pungent grape scent rising above my nose, my shoulders slowly relaxed.

“Let’s have a congratulatory toast, a toast.”

Ki-hyung… stretched out his arm. No, on second thought, Ki-young seemed to be the right name. What kind of parents would name their child ‘Ki-hyung’?

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

Still, just in case, I avoided calling out their names. Five glasses gathered in the center of the table. They clinked with a ‘cheers’ and poured the alcohol into their mouths. In the midst of them, I tasted the feeling of becoming the twenty-six-year-old Kang Hae-ah.

Being stuck between Jun-woo, who was chattering about something, and Hye-rim noona, who kept sticking close to me, made me feel drunk. My ears were flushed when my cell phone rang.

[Cheon Tae-rim-ssi]

Looking at the name that appeared in the center of the screen,

[19:23]

I checked the time. Around 7:30, assuming Tae-rim-ssi had left work on time, it was the time he would be returning home. I suddenly realized, I had only heard that he had something to do in the evening and thought he was working late, but it seemed that wasn’t the case.

I picked up my cell phone and jumped up from my seat. Hye-rim noona asked repeatedly with drunken eyes, ‘Why, why’.

“I’ll be right back, I need to take a call…”

I left my seat and walked to the door of the store. I pressed the call button while feeling the cold wind coming in through the crack in the door.

“Tae-rim-ssi, I’m sorry, are you home already? I didn’t know you were coming home early… Did you have dinner?”

I said in a fluster. But Tae-rim-ssi on the other side of the phone was silent for a while. When I called ‘Tae-rim-ssi’ again, he finally,

―It’s noisy around you.

He said.

“Ah, my graduate school classmates called me out for a bit.”

―Where are you?

“Um… it’s a bar in Chaehong-dong…”

―The name of the store.

“The store… just a moment, boss. What’s the name of this place… Yes, thank you. …It’s Ca, Cardin? ‘Cardin Bar’.”

I liked the cool temperature of the door. Maybe that’s why my arms kept sticking to the door. I waited for the answer that was about to come while leaning halfway, but,

“Hae-ah, come here quickly!”

Ki-young screamed. It seemed they were having another silly argument among themselves. It was obvious that they would poke at my side, saying ‘What does the foreign-educated Hae-ah think?’ Hye-rim noona was going abroad next year, so I couldn’t spoil it, and it was frustrating.

“Um, Tae-rim-ssi. I’ll call you again. Make sure you have dinner.”

Jun-woo was about to get up to call me, so I quickly hung up.

After a fierce argument that left me exhausted, it was a little before 8 o’clock. I hadn’t been sitting for even 20 minutes, but my friends got up, saying they were tired of the wine.

Hyung-sik Hyung brought it up, and considering the writers, who are still in their late twenties, probably don’t have much money, I paid the bill.

Jun-woo sent Hye-rim noona back, who kept saying she was disappointed.

“Didn’t you see Hae-ah on the phone just now? He needs to go in soon, let’s break up quickly.”

Then he hailed a taxi and put noona in it, and

“Now, let’s go for a second round, just us guys.”

He swung his arm around my shoulder.

I had no choice but to smile awkwardly and be dragged along. They kept saying we had to have a bachelor party, let’s have a drink just the guys, all the usual stuff, but I couldn’t really deny it.

The bar Hyung-sik Hyung recommended was quite different from the wine bar earlier. A manager dressed in a tight dress led us to a room, and I slumped onto the sofa with my friends.

“I’m already exhausted.”

I said with a sigh. It was the truth, I just couldn’t adapt to the boisterous atmosphere. Jun-woo took my words as a joke and laughed loudly.

Four glasses filled with ice, single malt whiskey, and several bottles of scotch were brought in one after another. A cold glass was placed in my hand as I sat there blankly. The haphazardly mixed drink was a pale reddish-brown color. They urged me to drink, toasts were exchanged, and the cold liquor went down my throat hot.

“Ah, right. I’m not supposed to drink…”

I muttered, remembering the doctor’s warning, and

“That’s right, why did you have to have your awakening at this important time! I can’t even call any women because of you.”

Jun-woo joked.

“Aren’t there any Alpha noonas who would come if we called?”

Messy jokes buzzed around my hot ears. I squeezed my eyes shut and put a broken piece of ice in my mouth. Even though I was silent, trying to cool my hot tongue, the conversation flowed smoothly.

“We have to have a drink to celebrate!”

“Yeah, congratulations. Sorry I couldn’t make it, man.”

The three of them started pouring several bottles of alcohol into the ice bucket.

“It’s okay. It was just crowded with reporters anyway. You did well not to come.”

Again, glasses clinked in the air. I just pretended to drink, putting my lips to the glass and setting it down appropriately.

The excited chatter of my friends went back and forth, but my heart felt detached. Compared to them, who talked a lot and had a fast flow of conversation, my thoughts flowed slowly. Only then did I understand the ‘Alpha noona’ joke.

‘They’re saying we should call an Alpha because I’ve become an Omega. …But why ‘noona’? My spouse is a man…. Well, it’s not like I’ll be calling an Alpha noona or Tae-rim-ssi anyway.’

They wanted to have a gathering just for the guys, but it seemed I was no longer the ‘man’ they were talking about. Jun-woo kept making a few messy jokes, then kept saying ‘Ah, sorry, sorry’ and watching my reaction.

I forced myself to swallow a sigh that was about to come out. The pleasant, happy feeling slowly subsided.

After suffering from chronic depression, I developed a persistent problem. Whenever I felt bad and somehow sad, I couldn’t pinpoint the source of my feelings. I couldn’t tell if it was because the person next to me was rude and bad, or if it was because of my depressed personality.

I got up to shake off the vague feeling. When they asked where I was going,

“Bathroom.”

I answered briefly and left the room.

I went to the bathroom at the end of the hallway and washed my hands roughly. Only then did I remember that I hadn’t brought any extra stabilizers. How could I forget that again… Even after going through so much trouble because of the stabilization period, my mind still hadn’t adapted to the Omega’s body.

I rinsed my cheeks with cold water and tried to estimate the time. I had gotten an injection before leaving the house, so I still had a little less than 2 hours to spare.

‘Still, it wouldn’t be good to be with those Alpha bastards.’

I dried my hands with a paper towel and thought about a suitable excuse. I couldn’t think of an answer to how to get those drunks to let me go home, and I just kept sighing, wondering if I should bring up the stabilizer.

In front of the door that was less than a hand’s breadth ajar,

“How much were you going to give as a wedding gift if you went to the wedding?”

That was until I heard the unfamiliar conversation with a familiar voice.

“Wedding gift, my ass! Hanging out with him is the wedding gift. Kang Hae-ah would die for a gathering like this.”

The smell of cigarettes leaked through the crack in the door. I carefully took half a step back. I heard Ki-young asking ‘Really?’ as if he was amazed, followed by Jun-woo’s slurred curse as he puffed on a cigarette.

“Didn’t you know? He doesn’t have any friends in Korea. His Parisian friends are all big shots in their hometown, but he suddenly came to Korea, and he doesn’t have any friends, but he has a lot of money? So we call him out and hang out with him, and he pays for the drinks.”

“That’s how all the chaebol live. It’s all fake, fake.”

More than Jun-woo and Hyung-sik Hyung, who were excitedly chattering about me,

“He didn’t seem like a strange guy.”

Ki-young, who didn’t know me well, was actually taking my side.

“He really had his awakening, too. You guys said that was fake, too. I smelled it just now? It even smells good. I almost got hard.”

My shoulders flinched at those words. I put my nose to my sleeve and smelled it silently, but all I could smell was a slight smell of alcohol and cigarettes.

I took a step back. I leaned against the wall in the hallway and listened to the lively stories about me. I wasn’t angry or sad. It was as if the Kang Hae-ah they were chewing up and spitting out wasn’t me.

“If I had known, I would have slept with him once. What a waste.”

“Do you even have the ability to get close to him?”

“He has really low standards. They say he only met bad guys in Paris….”

Jun-woo insisted that there was definitely a mood. He was scolded for thinking it was just his imagination. It was a little funny to eavesdrop, thinking it wasn’t my story.

“I’m telling you, it wasn’t my imagination, Kang Hae-ah was definitely horny back then, too. If I had just, uh? Had the courage to rub my butt against him a little, he would have fallen for me! If that had happened, I might have been the son-in-law of Hanseong Group right now, wouldn’t I? What a waste.”

A sigh escaped silently. It wasn’t like I didn’t know they were like this. So I wasn’t disappointed, and I wasn’t betrayed.

Rather, I was sorry about that. It was proof that I didn’t trust them either.

‘It’s helpful that my life is a hell of distrust in times like this.’

At least I wouldn’t get hurt, that’s how it was.

But last time, I had missed those guys. Even when the contact was cut off, I thought the distance had grown purely because of my circumstances. Jun-woo, at least, had known me for a long time, and he had sent me a text message around the time Chief Prosecutor Cheon Hee-jung’s funeral was over. He asked if I was okay, and said we should meet up and relieve some stress when I had time…. Thinking about it again, he was looking at my wallet.

He was just checking to see if he could open the Kang Hae-ah sucker wallet a few more times.

‘They said it’s fun and comfortable to hang out with me….’

The past days, when I had lived thinking those words were a compliment, suddenly became terrible.

Even in this situation, I had to get my wallet that I had left on the table in that room. I could only quietly wait for the topic of their giggling jokes to change, I didn’t have the courage or energy to run in and get angry.

I found my situation funny, and now I was laughing. Next to me, leaning against the wall in the hallway and laughing alone,

“Hae-ah-ssi.”

Suddenly, I heard a voice. I was startled by the familiar call. But I didn’t have the courage to turn my head and check his face.

He approached me, who was standing there frozen. He blocked my path, preventing me from avoiding his gaze, and stopped. His chest was rising and falling as if he had been running. The neat shirt sleeves I had seen in the morning were crumpled and rolled up over his forearms.

“What are you doing here.”

Cheon Tae-rim said.

“Let’s go home.”

I couldn’t think of anything to say to him. So my lips didn’t part. His sigh reached my forehead, which had turned white.

The inside of my head changed colors. It turned blue, then burned black. Black shame gnawed at my heart. It felt like a stone had fallen into my chest, or like a big hole had been hollowed out.

Even the small sigh that Tae-rim-ssi let out was a wound when it touched my raw flesh.

‘When did he come? …Did he hear? My story… Did he hear it? Did he hear everything?’

Even as my head was filled with chaos,

“I, my wallet, is inside…”

I tried to answer as calmly as possible.

Then Tae-rim-ssi’s head moved slowly. He seemed to be checking my complexion, then he quietly repeated my words, ‘Wallet…’ Then he burst into the room.

It was the door that I was too scared and cowardly to open. I had been trying to win mentally by dismissing the harsh words I heard as someone else’s story. But Tae-rim-ssi was different. He didn’t hesitate to open the door and walk into the room among the strangers.

“Huh? What is it?”

A drunken voice leaked out over Tae-rim-ssi’s shoulder. The voices grumbling at him seemed to slur their words.

My Korean friends weren’t usually that bad. I felt wronged by that. It was the first time in a long time that we had met, and we weren’t very close or best friends, it was true. It just so happened that everyone was very drunk today… I was worried that Tae-rim-ssi would be disappointed in me for hanging out with such guys. I felt so wronged by that.

I followed him in, trying to mediate somehow. While Tae-rim-ssi picked up my wallet from the table, Jun-woo and Hyung-sik Hyung looked back and forth between me and him.

The color of their faces slowly changed. I could see reason coming into their hazy eyes. They seemed to have recognized Cheon Tae-rim’s face, the young CEO of AOM, the most famous Dominant Alpha in Seoul.

“Uh…, Hae-ah, are you leaving now?”

Jun-woo asked, staggering to his feet. The familiar voice calling ‘Hae-ah’ made my throat feel bitter.

“Ah, uh, that’s…”

Tae-rim-ssi grabbed my hand, which was trying to explain the situation somehow, and

“Wallet. Got it? Let’s go.”

He pulled me along.

My fist easily fit into his large palm. As I moved one step, two steps, following him, my gaze was fixed on his hand.

Strangely enough,

‘It’s big….’

That was my impression.

Before the regression, when I was waiting for the Alpha who would become my spouse with the fake title of an Omega about to have his awakening… I had worried about that, too. I had unnecessary worries like, ‘I’m not delicate or pretty, will the Alpha be disappointed when he sees me?’

Anyway, almost anyone would be delicate next to Tae-rim-ssi. Just looking at the three men in this room, that was the case. The three Alphas, who had felt a little threatening to be around without stabilizers, suddenly looked small and thin.

Jun-woo followed me as I followed him.

“Are you just leaving like this? What do you think you’re doing!”

“Wait, just a minute…”

“Hae-ah, say something!”

Jun-woo’s hand suddenly touched my shoulder. The hand of the drunk guy was stronger than I thought. My body turned back suddenly, and it hurt for a moment, and I was very surprised.

“This….”

Tae-rim-ssi’s right hand was faster than my words. He grabbed Jun-woo’s outstretched arm and dragged him back into the room.

“Ah!”

I couldn’t understand what was happening even though I saw it with my own eyes. Like a computer that had stopped because too much information was suddenly pouring in, I just stared blankly at Jun-woo, who was thrown onto the sofa, and Tae-rim-ssi’s angry back.

The ice bucket was suddenly lifted in Tae-rim-ssi’s hand. Without hesitation, the contents poured down on Jun-woo’s crown. The circular, tightly frozen ice and several kinds of whiskey, a mess of mixed alcohol, soaked everything from Jun-woo’s head to his shirt.

“What….”

The round ice cubes rolled down, making a small bell sound. In an instant, the room was filled with the smell of alcohol.

“I was going to let it go quietly, what’s the problem.”

Tae-rim-ssi muttered.

“A guy who makes an Omega in the early stages of his awakening drink alcohol and gives off dirty smells… Why are you so confident.”

His calm voice, speaking to himself, sounded irrational.

“Are, are you crazy?”

The ice bucket was thrown at Hyung-sik Hyung’s head, who was screaming. Before I could stop him, I heard a ‘thud’ as it broke. It was the sound of the bucket hitting Hyung’s head.

A scream echoed. I couldn’t tell if it was the sound of the Hyung who was hit or the sound of me, who was surprised. The transparent bucket fell to the floor and shattered. Large shards of glass scattered on the smooth floor of the room.

I moved one step to try to stop him before it was too late, and

“No, you bastard, did we force him to drink? What are we supposed to do when he followed us because he liked it….”

Jun-woo shouted. I had to tear off the guy who was standing up and stretching out his chest, even if I had to. The man named Cheon Tae-rim was not someone who would be swayed by such a fabricated attitude.

Rather, it had the opposite effect.

Cheon Tae-rim, who had never hit me while sober, even when Beta Kang Hae-ah had been scratching his nerves for the past 6 years, started hitting people. So I knew. Cheon Tae-rim was not sober right now.

“Tae-rim-ssi.”

I tried to lower my voice calmly. I slowly approached Tae-rim-ssi’s back, where I could hear the sound of being hit, the sound of groaning, and the smell of blood. My knees were shaking.

“Stop….”

I blinked quickly to stop the heat from rising in my eyes. I thought that would cool the heat in my eyeballs.

Slowly, very slowly, I reached out and grabbed Tae-rim-ssi’s forearm. Cheon Tae-rim stopped when my trembling hand touched him. He was holding Jun-woo’s collar in his left hand, and his right hand was covered in blood.

I could see Jun-woo’s eyes turning red. He had only been hit a few times, but red blood was streaming down his nose and chin.

“St, stop… stop it….”

My voice, which was barely audible, was so small that it didn’t even reach my ears. But Tae-rim-ssi listened. He stared at Jun-woo’s face for a moment, then let go of his collar.

Jun-woo’s unconscious face fell onto the table with a thud.

“Are, are you crazy? You treat your husband’s friend like this?”

Hyung-sik Hyung shouted. Red blood flowed down the hand of the Hyung who was holding his forehead. It looked like his skin was torn.

“Then you know which family my husband married which Alpha from.”

Tae-rim-ssi said. It was a voice without emotion, so much so that I could believe it was a monologue.

“No…. It seems like you don’t even know my husband’s family.”

Ki-young was the only one in this room who was still sane. Ki-young grabbed Hyung-sik Hyung’s shoulder as he tried to get up. His voice was full of confusion as he stopped him, saying, ‘Hyung, Hyung…’.

Tae-rim-ssi’s gaze, which had been scanning the bottles of alcohol on the table, was fixed on Ki-young. The mouth of the guy who had been talking about my body scent, saying he almost got hard… was tightly shut. Tae-rim-ssi didn’t move for a few seconds.

I couldn’t see his expression. I could only vividly see Ki-young’s face, which was sweating profusely and gradually turning red.

Slowly, Tae-rim-ssi turned around. I looked to see if the angry Hyung-sik Hyung or Ki-young would run at him, but that didn’t happen. Everyone was just sitting there with a dazed or frightened look on their faces. That silence wasn’t that surprising.

Tae-rim-ssi grabbed my hand, which was standing there blankly, again and pulled me along. I staggered as I followed him, but my legs kept giving out.

My knees, which had been walking forcibly, collapsed in front of the stairs. I let out a wet breath and ended up sitting down.

“I’m…, I’m a little drunk….”

He didn’t respond to my pathetic excuse. He just put his palm behind my back. He wrapped his arm around my side and lifted me up.

I leaned on him halfway and tried to move my trembling legs. Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s car was parked right in front of the store. The headlights were on and the engine was running.

After putting me in the passenger seat, Tae-rim-ssi closed the car door loudly. I peeked at his waist as he stood outside the car window. Tae-rim-ssi didn’t move, as if he was taking a moment to catch his breath. Then he crossed over to the driver’s seat.

The car carrying him and me set off on the night road. We didn’t have any conversation.

The flickering traffic light felt blindingly bright. My existence shrank, becoming darker and smaller, while everything outside grew brighter and larger, tightening around me.

I felt sick.

Tae-rim-ssi heard it. He heard all the curses directed at me.

He found out. How worthless I am.

I needed to face reality and sort out my thoughts. There were many problems to deal with. I had to find a lawyer in case those guys reported or sued Tae-rim-ssi… No. Since my father-in-law is a chief prosecutor, would they even report it?

‘The problem is just me….’

That’s right. The problem was just Kang Hae-ah.

I had to decide quickly. How I would face Tae-rim-ssi in the future. What excuses I should make to him for my pathetic self, whether I should act shamelessly as before, or… even ask him to forget me… But tears kept flowing.

My eyelids felt like windshield wipers in the rainy season. When I squeezed my eyes shut to wipe away the tears from the blurred vision, water would fill up again, blurring it again and again…. I couldn’t find my way like that.

‘I’m scared….’

Honestly, I was scared. I was scared of Tae-rim-ssi, who easily subdued others with violence. I knew how much it hurt to be hit by his hand, how my soul was torn when facing his criticism.

Maybe that’s why I couldn’t think straight. Now I couldn’t tell if I was crazy or if Cheon Tae-rim had become strange.

The car slowly entered the house. Tae-rim-ssi stopped in front of the garage door. Through the window, I could see the dark garden and the short, glowing lights.

His gaze, scrutinizing me, felt like gravity.

I wiped my face again and again. But my cheeks were still wet. Because the crying wouldn’t stop, my under-eyes felt sore and my nasal bones ached.

“I’m sorry. Kang Hae-ah.”

Cheon Tae-rim said.

“It will never… happen again. I swear. It was only like this a long time ago… a very long time ago.”

I already knew what he was going to say. Cheon Tae-rim was a Dominant Alpha, rare even in Seoul, and his surroundings were full of recessive individuals who didn’t match his level. It would be better if they were Beta or Omegas in heat, but recessive alphas made him feel terrible.

When he was involved with Omegas, he had Si Eun-cheol as a fly swatter, but when Alphas came to him, spraying scents and trying to argue, he felt rage. The problem Tae-rim-ssi had wasn’t like the anger management issues criminals mumbled as excuses. He often lost his reason and sometimes even lost his memory.

That’s what he said. That’s why he almost couldn’t go to the army, that he kept taking medicine until he was discharged… That’s why he hated suppressants, that’s why….

‘I’m sorry.’

He apologized, grabbing my bleeding cheek.

“I’m sorry, Hae-ah.”

The sound of an ambulance wailed in my ears from afar. It was my turn to say I was okay. That I would awaken soon, that everything would be alright. I promise… like that.

Only strange groans like ‘oo,’ ‘euh’ escaped my lips. Even amidst the fear, I felt a tingling sensation down below. It felt like I had a cramp in my groin. Surprised by the unprecedented symptom, my body trembled.

‘What’s wrong, Kang Hae-ah. What’s wrong…. Don’t tremble, don’t tremble….’

My jaw clattered. Even biting my lip didn’t stop the trembling.

“Hae-ah.”

Tae-rim-ssi reached out to me, and

“Ah!”

A scream burst out. After screaming, I covered my mouth with both hands. Don’t touch me, don’t touch me…. I pleaded, mumbling with my mouth covered by my palms.

‘I’m scared.’

I was scared. It was strange that my actions weren’t what I intended. It was a symptom I had never experienced before.

“…Hae-ah.”

Then Tae-rim-ssi spoke in a voice I had never heard before. I squeezed my eyes shut. Tears streamed down onto my palms, and the taste of salt permeated my mouth.

I felt my underwear getting wet. Sweat trickled down my forehead. My legs lost strength, and my waist slumped halfway down under the passenger seat.

“Hae-ah, stop….”

“Tae-rim-ssi.”

“Stop crying.”

“Tae-rim-ssi, why am I like this?”

He sighed at my foolish question.

That face, with his neck reddened and his lower jaw tense… I knew that face. It was a face holding its breath, trying not to smell me.

“It’s because you’re scared of me.”

Tae-rim-ssi said. I could easily tell that he was out of his mind too. He had casually dropped honorifics, calling me ‘Hae-ah,’ and now he was treating me kindly. His voice sounded very painful.

“It’s because you’re afraid I’ll hurt Kang Hae-ah. That’s why, that’s what’s happening to Hae-ah’s body.”

“When…, when will it be alright?”

Tae-rim-ssi’s gaze landed on my groin. I lowered my hand and frantically pulled my coat to cover between my legs. I felt my erect penis under my palm. My body tingled, and I felt suffocated. I felt like I would beg Cheon Tae-rim any moment. To touch me, to hug me, to soothe me, to release me, that I was going to die….

I leaned my head against the car window. I turned away, trying not to look at Cheon Tae-rim. I curled up, almost folding my legs.

“Give me a shot….”

And I begged.

“The stabilizer, give me that. Please….”

“You’re drunk.”

Tae-rim-ssi was cold even to my plea. In fact, I knew he was right. If I took a stabilizer while drunk, I would suffer from side effects. I could become addicted to its effects like a drug addict.

“Still… still, can’t you give it to me?”

I thought I’d rather do that. I never wanted to act pathetic in front of Tae-rim-ssi again in my life. I was tired of begging like a fool who had never received love.

But today was different. Before I could run into his arms, Tae-rim-ssi reached out first.

I waited quietly, thinking he was going to release the seatbelt, but the passenger seat suddenly reclined backward. My surprised waist tensed. Tae-rim-ssi climbed on top of me in one swift motion. Then he buried his face in my neck.

“…….”

When someone is too surprised, they can’t even scream.

Cheon Tae-rim panted like an angry beast, licking and sucking my neck. He pressed his high, straight nose against my earlobe until it was crushed, and then he smelled me. His large ribcage swelled with held-in breath, then deflated, then swelled again. His breathing was loud and ragged.

I was too naive. I had thought too simply of an aroused Dominant Alpha. I had imagined the day Tae-rim-ssi would suddenly rush at me. I thought I would go into heat and rush at him too.

The reality was completely different. All I could do in front of Tae-rim-ssi, who was panting and pressing me down with his weight, was to lie limp with my legs spread. All the strength drained from my body, allowing him to touch me however he wanted.

“Tae… Tae-rim-ssi, are you okay?”

“…….”

“Are you okay?”

Even pinned under an aroused Cheon Tae-rim, I could remain calm. Of course, I knew he was a carnivorous Dominant Alpha, and I was a recessive Omega prey. It was obvious that I was a rabbit baring its belly, telling him to devour me whenever he wanted. But… but I’m recessive.

‘I probably… probably won’t taste good….’

I was the crazy rabbit who relaxed while thinking that.

As I blinked and stared blankly, Tae-rim-ssi let out a low laugh. He laughed so hard that his shoulders shook, as if something was absurd and funny, and then he grabbed my waist. Then he yanked my pants down.

“Ah….”

My thighs stuck together, constricted by the pants that weren’t even unbuckled. My erect penis seemed about to burst out. The moment the stuffiness down there was relieved, I wanted to bite my tongue and die from shame. But I couldn’t cover my body or push him away.

Tae-rim-ssi looked down at my erect penis, its tip reddened. The tip of my fully aroused penis was almost touching my stomach. I felt precum wetly soaking my clothes.

“I’ll release you.”

Tae-rim-ssi said.

“N-no, no…!”

Before I could shout, ‘Don’t touch me,’ he reached out. He grasped my penis with his right hand and unbuckled his own pants with his left.

My shame doubled when I saw another man’s thing erect because of me. I had never thought of mine as small, but compared to Tae-rim-ssi’s, my body felt too pathetic. To be exact, his was unbelievably large, but I couldn’t tell if it was because he was a Dominant Alpha or if his case was unique.

Saliva leaked from my parted lips. I stared at him blankly, as if possessed. Tae-rim-ssi let out a hot breath and grabbed my erect penis and his own in one hand.

“Ah, ah!”

My whole body heated up from the rough skin of his palm. It felt like being burned. My penis touched Tae-rim-ssi’s hard, erect one, and I felt like I was going to die. Fluid gushed between my butt cheeks.

“H-ha, don’t, don’t do it, uh, hng, uh….”

My waist moved wildly on its own. Tae-rim-ssi stroked it a few times, and then he just held it as it was, gripping our penises. Rather, it was me who was writhing my waist wildly, rubbing my dick against his inside his hand.

“Aheuk, uh….”

He quietly looked down at me, who was thrashing like a beast. I kept crying from embarrassment. Now my eyes were sore.

“Ah, ah…, hick….”

I felt like I was about to cum, so I forced myself to reach out. I grabbed Tae-rim-ssi’s forearm and tried to push him away, but he didn’t budge.

Tae-rim-ssi’s hand, which had stopped, began to move again. I writhed, making strange moans at the rough friction. I screamed and moaned, kicking the passenger-side dashboard with both feet. The glove box popped open, and my feet floated next to Tae-rim-ssi’s waist. My toes curled wildly, and my whole body was slippery with sweat.

“…….”

Only faint sobs escaped, and no voice came from my parted lips. Semen gushed over my half-open eyelids. The white fluid that I had cum and Tae-rim-ssi had ejaculated splattered over my face and chest.

With my reddened mouth open, I blinked blankly. I couldn’t open my left eye, and my right eye was blurry. I sprawled out like a rag with my legs on the dashboard. The semen that had seeped into my mouth had a strong smell.

“Hoo….”

Tae-rim-ssi touched his forehead. As if regretting it… he buried his face on my shoulder. Without Tae-rim-ssi knowing, I swallowed the semen in my mouth.

‘I like it….’

Even if my death was Tae-rim-ssi’s wish right now, I could do it.

‘I love you….’

I wanted to lick up all the semen on his palm. Even if it splattered on his shoe, I could kiss it. I wanted to put his thing in my mouth and suck it. I’m at least confident in giving a blowjob….

What was dirtier than my semen-covered penis was under my butt. The hole that I had never thought of as a sexual tool was wet and slippery.

The moment I felt the throbbing, heated muscles, I got goosebumps.

I wanted Tae-rim-ssi to stick anything into my ass. I didn’t care if it hurt, if I bled, or if I ended up in the hospital, I wanted him to put it in me, to release his lust on me, to cum inside me. I didn’t care if he cursed me for being dirty, if he regretted it later and sighed, if he hated me, I wanted him to….

‘I don’t like this….’

I don’t like it. I hated leaking strange fluids on the passenger seat while having these thoughts. I hated imagining sucking his dick and secretly swallowing his semen. I don’t like it. I hate it… but tears streamed down.

“…Hae-ah.”

Slowly, Tae-rim-ssi cupped my cheeks. He stared at my messed-up face for a moment, then took out a navy blue handkerchief from his back pocket and wiped it.

With my tension released, I looked at his face. I received his touch as he wiped the fluids that had splattered on my eyelids, cheeks, and chin.

Belated shame struck my cheeks.

“T-thank you… for picking me up today.”

Stammering, I greeted him. Tae-rim-ssi’s expression changed subtly at my hoarse words. He looked slightly dazed.

I looked straight into his eyes, which were looking at me like I was a strange person. And I said.

“I, I’ll… be in the detached house, I have work to do. Um… Tae-rim-ssi should… g-go up and sleep…. Don’t… come to my studio anymore.”

I pushed him back in a fluster. Not because my strength was strong, but because I was drained, Tae-rim-ssi was pushed slightly into the driver’s seat. I got out of the passenger seat, staggering away from under his legs. I forced myself to pull up my fallen pants.

And I ran away. I staggered to the dark detached house. If anyone had seen me, they would have reported me, thinking I was the perpetrator of sexual harassment against him.

The studio at night, which I had reached in a fluster, was extremely cold. The canvas wall that filled one side, the paintings in progress, and the table where rough sketches were scattered haphazardly were all silent in the darkness. The space, full of traces of labor, enveloped me.

I dragged my tingling legs and lay down on the sofa. I didn’t even have the energy to turn on the lights. The underside of my back was extremely cold.

I thought it would warm up soon… but unlike what I had easily thought, the chill of the leather sofa didn’t go away easily. Rather, it felt like the cold night air was seeping into my skin. My mood immediately sank.

I closed my eyes and forced myself to sleep. I was thinking of sneaking back into the main house and washing up when Tae-rim-ssi fell asleep in the master bedroom. And I should sleep in the guest room bed. If I met him with such a restless mood as now, I didn’t know what nonsense would come out of my mouth.

A slip of the tongue is the worst, because once you say it, you can never fix it again. That’s why I liked oil paintings better than watercolors. If you use the oil well, you can repaint it two or three times, and if you draw it wrong, you can just scrape it off or tear it off.

Once, a very perverted fan bought my work and X-rayed it to see through the underpainting. When I heard the news that he had printed out the underpainting before the revision and kept it, I wanted to sue that fan so badly.

Among close writers in Paris, they called that ‘being Van Goghed.’ It was a term for the affection of a fan who insisted on digging up and praising a black history that I, as a writer, wanted to erase.

‘Funny….’

I laughed alone, reminiscing about the old days. I tossed and turned, trying to get some sleep, and there was a rustling sound from under my body.

“…….”

With my eyes closed, I touched under my waist with my palm. I couldn’t tell if the texture of the sofa I was lying on was leather or vinyl. Leather, probably. I’m back, after all. It can’t be vinyl, that day is already over.

The vinyl that I had laid down, hoping that they would dispose of my body easily.

‘I feel like I’m still lying there….’

As soon as I thought that, the laughter disappeared. A chilling shiver ran over my shoulders. So it was fortunate, at least it was a fear that I could feel because I was alive.

The hazy energy faded, and my nerves became sensitive. It was clear that I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. The paranoid thought that if I fell asleep like this, I would never wake up again pricked my nerves sharply.

I was thirsty and parched. The pessimistic imagination that I would never be able to change in my life also exerted its power.

I had taken my time cleaning the big house alone, doing the laundry, preparing the side dishes, and laying the vinyl on the sofa where I would lie down. It was because I couldn’t let go of my dry hope.

‘If I do this and die, will they look at me pitifully and like me?’

That one pathetic hope,

‘I wish someone would come and stop me….’

That one shabby wish….

“Hae-ah.”

My body, which had been lying like a dried-up fish, twitched. Surprised, I lifted my head sharply, and Cheon Tae-rim was there. He was standing with the door of the detached house wide open, looking at me.

“Why…, why are you coming in?”

My heart pounded and spewed out red blood. I could feel the blood spreading from the center of my body through my arms and legs to my fingertips and toes. A tingling cramp rose.

“I told you not to come, why are you coming in….”

Tae-rim-ssi didn’t hesitate as he walked one step, two steps, to my side. He had left me with that kind of gait, but now he had come into the detached house after me.

Strangely, I hated Tae-rim-ssi today. When I thought of the thirty-something Cheon Tae-rim who existed only in my memory, I felt sorry, ashamed, and still loved him, but today’s Tae-rim-ssi was different. I hated twenty-eight-year-old Cheon Tae-rim. I couldn’t believe he didn’t listen to me and came all the way here on his own.

And, who knows what I was about to show him….

“Would you… would you have come in even if I had… had written it in a letter? Even if I had begged you not to come?”

I asked, clenching my fist. I could feel the few bits of flesh on my cheeks trembling.

The light of the night that seeped through the large window was stretching out from behind my neck. My shadow, slumped on the sofa, was short, but Tae-rim-ssi’s shadow was long enough to vertically divide the wall.

“A letter?”

Tae-rim-ssi repeated my words as if puzzled.

“Then I think I would have come in even more out of suspicion.”

And he replied. My heart sank at those words.

“Why?”

I shouted without realizing it. I was angry. I told him not to come, I even wrote a letter because it was my last request, just call the police….

“Why do you come? Do you not take my words seriously? Are you ignoring me, Tae-rim-ssi?”

I don’t want to show you a corpse turning blue. I forced down the shout that was about to burst out. My throat was stiff as if it had been glued shut.

“I’m not ignoring you.”

Tae-rim-ssi replied. With a vague sigh,

“I’m worried.”

Then he reaches out to me. Before his big hand could touch me, I squeezed my eyes shut. I tried to stare at him with my eyes wide open, but it didn’t work. My facial muscles were all broken, so my eyes and lips were tightly closed.

Why, there used to be such dolls… baby-shaped dolls that closed their eyes when you laid them down and opened them when you stood them up. They often broke when Hyung threw them or when the older girls played with them for too long. They became unable to distinguish when to open and close their eyes. Among the children of the Kang family, I was the only one who looked at the dolls in the trash can.

Today, Tae-rim-ssi’s palm was warm. The warm heat touched my forehead. Cold sweat was wiped on the side of his hand.

“When the trait changes, there are bound to be guys who treat you differently like that. I used to be like that too. If Alphas are like that, how much more Omegas would be.”

His low voice sounded about half a tone higher. Tae-rim-ssi was comforting me with a gentle tone.

“Hae-ah-ssi doesn’t change just because he became an Omega. And being recessive doesn’t mean your status goes down.”

Without answering, I received his off-the-mark comfort. It seems like there was a misunderstanding. He must have thought that my pride was hurt because of the words I heard at the bar about scents and whatnot.

It was completely the opposite of the truth. In fact, I was so happy to become an Omega. Of course, the recessive penalty wasn’t very satisfying, but it was a thousand, ten thousand, a million times better than living as a Beta. Thanks to the awakening, one reason for Tae-rim-ssi to hate me disappeared, I smelled his body scent that I had only lived without knowing all my life, and I even got to ride in his car that he came out to bring me my stabilizer.

And,

‘Hae-ah.’

It was the first time I heard him call me that.

“Tae-rim-ssi, why, why… did you call me ‘Hae-ah’ just now?”

I asked according to the flow of my consciousness. Tae-rim-ssi’s eyes narrowed slightly.

“Is that important right now?”

“It’s important. You… you never used informal speech before.”

“We haven’t known each other that long.”

No. I’ve known you for a really long time. I’ve really liked you for a long time.

“Anyway, don’t use informal speech….”

“Why. Can’t I?”

“You can’t….”

Because if you talk so intimately, I’ll cry more. Because I like you so much today, but you’re so different from yesterday, and it’s so sad. So please call me ‘Kang Hae-ah-ssi’ coldly. If you just do that, I won’t be nervous and disappointed in advance about the words that will follow.

I raised the back of my hand and rubbed my cheeks roughly. Embarrassingly, tears came out. My skin felt all red and swollen, but tears kept coming. It was all because of the alcohol. If I hadn’t drunk that damn alcohol….

“Okay, I understand. …Don’t cry, Hae-ah-ssi.”

Because of that damn alcohol, Tae-rim-ssi comforted me.

Before, he had been angry because of me, excited because of me, and had hit people because of me. But he had never done that for me, because he liked me, or instead of me who was being cursed at.

Tears came out. I liked Cheon Tae-rim. That’s why tears came out.

“Are you always this tearful?”

Tae-rim-ssi asked as if he was frustrated with me like that. I was piqued by his light, airy voice. It’s all because of you.

“It’s all because of Tae-rim-ssi. I’m crying because Tae-rim-ssi is being nice to me!”

I felt relieved after shouting it out. Thank goodness, I felt like I was going to die until just now, like I was already dead.

“Don’t be nice to me. Really, don’t… don’t use informal speech to me, or I’ll cry.”

“Ha….”

“Don’t comfort me anymore and don’t come looking for me, because of Tae-rim-ssi… I keep crying, it hurts.”

“Do I have any reason to not be nice to Kang Hae-ah-ssi?”

I glared up with stinging eyes. I stared straight at Cheon Tae-rim-ssi, who didn’t know anything about my inner thoughts and therefore had a bewildered look on his face.

And I shouted.

“I kissed another man.”

This time, Tae-rim-ssi didn’t answer immediately. The historic moment of shutting his mouth came for the first time in Kang Hae-ah’s life. But I wasn’t happy at all. Rather, my mouth felt dry and I felt suffocated.

Tae-rim-ssi’s back, which had been bent towards me, straightened up. He stood straight in place, looked down at the top of my head, and then raised his hand to stroke his chin. The silence he gave was engulfing me like the eye of a typhoon.

My existence, which had stupidly poured out an unplanned confession, was shrinking and shrinking, and began to cling to the sofa.

“When did that happen?”

“On the day of our garden party.”

I answered quickly, wanting to get through this moment quickly. Then Tae-rim-ssi’s expression became even more serious. He hardened his facial muscles like a very angry person, and I escaped into the imagination of whether there was a way to cast the mold of that sculpted face.

After ten seconds of silence that felt like ten years, Tae-rim-ssi opened his mouth.

“…….”

Then he closed it again. I could feel his tongue wriggling in his mouth. His jaw muscles were tightly clenched. I could see the movement of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed hard. It seemed like he was revising the question he wanted to ask.

“Who… was it with?”

After a long deliberation, Tae-rim-ssi asked. I became somewhat anxious. Why did I confess something I didn’t have to? My tongue was no different from a devil.

But isn’t it better to get hit sooner rather than later?

“With Si Eun-cheol-ssi.”

“Excuse me?”

When I answered quickly, Tae-rim-ssi’s expression turned strange. He frowned and then looked at my expression again. I could feel him questioning whether it was true from the way he looked back and forth between my eyes and lips.

‘Why is he making that kind of expression, who would I have to kiss.’

I became a little embarrassed.

“No…, why on earth… why did you do that?”

“…To shut him up. I didn’t want to hear any more of what Si Eun-cheol-ssi was saying.”

‘Ha,’ Tae-rim-ssi laughed. Of course, he wasn’t happy, and he looked very dumbfounded.

Well, I guess it’s dumbfounding that a recessive Omega kissed a Dominant Omega. He wouldn’t misunderstand that I like Si Eun-cheol, would he? Since Si Eun-cheol and I are both Omegas, well… even if he misunderstands, he’ll probably just think that Kang Hae-ah is a completely strange bastard. That was okay. Because it’s not a misunderstanding, it’s the truth.

Tae-rim-ssi didn’t say anything more. He sat down next to the sofa as if he had lost his strength. I gathered my legs so as not to bother his back. I had nothing more to say, just scratching the sofa seat with my fingertips.

“Are you angry?”

I asked, and

“I’m just dumbfounded….”

Tae-rim-ssi replied, looking dejected.

“Me too.”

After a short sigh, he laughed. I wondered what he was thinking, he laughed. Then he opened his arms and hugged my upper body.

“…….”

I couldn’t understand why he was suddenly hugging me. Still, I liked the hug, so I didn’t refuse. Tae-rim-ssi’s embrace was warm and my skin was cold as a corpse. The sofa, which felt empty when I was alone, felt very narrow when he sat down.

As expected, everything was because of Tae-rim-ssi. I told him not to comfort me and not to come looking for me, but was he supposed to hug me? Because of that, tears trickled down my cheeks. I cried as quietly as possible, but I couldn’t hide it. Tae-rim-ssi’s hand patted my shoulder.

Soon his hand reached the back of my head. He stroked my hair as if ruffling it, then he stopped his hand. Following him, my emotions also stopped dancing the overflowing dance.

Tae-rim-ssi’s fingertips groped the back of my head. Because of the bump I got from being hit by Hyung, the back of my head was bumpy, and

“Hae-ah-ssi.”

Tae-rim-ssi opened his mouth.

“No….”

I interrupted him.

I gathered my hands and clenched them tightly, closed my eyes tightly like a praying person, and rubbed my lips against Cheon Tae-rim’s lips. His mouth closed as if embarrassed, then opened. I swallowed the hot breath that escaped through his teeth. I covered Tae-rim-ssi’s lower lip with my lips and sucked, and pushed my tongue into his mouth.

He accepted me, who was kissing him as if clinging to him. The touch of his hands stroking my neck, cheeks, and ears was rough and hot.

Soon,

“It won’t do.”

Tae-rim-ssi pulled my head away. I was stunned with both cheeks pressed tightly in his hands. My excited breath escaped my mouth in vain.

Tae-rim-ssi said.

“I can’t, not with lips that kissed my friend.”

I chuckled at those words.

“Sniff….”

A sound came out that I didn’t know whether it was laughing or crying.

Cheon Tae-rim picked me up, who was drained and had lost all energy. I didn’t know if this was a dream or reality, and I didn’t have the strength to resist, so I was quietly held in his arms. He didn’t even pant once until he arrived at the main building across the garden.

The lights in the dark main building turned on automatically. Under the lights that turned on one by one in order, I could hear Tae-rim-ssi walking. Before going up the stairs, he kicked something with his foot.

With my head buried in Tae-rim-ssi’s arm, I looked at the floor. A roll of beige rug rolled to the other side with a ‘clatter’ sound.

The house was, strange. To put it simply, it was a mess. Rectangular rug tiles were attached to each step of the stairs, which had a smooth material and were neatly cut like they had been carved with a knife, but more than half of them were scattered as if they had only started and couldn’t finish.

The sound of footsteps was heavy when climbing the steps where the tiles were not attached, and the sound was soft on the steps with tiles attached.

“Why is the house like this?”

“…You really know how to say things nicely, our Kang Hae-ah-ssi.”

It was only after arriving at the master bedroom that Tae-rim-ssi put me down. I thought it was pure kindness to hug a recessive male, even though he was an Omega husband, but it wasn’t. I couldn’t even move a finger while lying on the bed. I was drained like a battery had run out.

While enduring the pouring sleepiness, I said.

“The stairs… were strange….”

“It takes 10 minutes to go down once, so I have to put something down.”

I thought I was being careful, but it seems like he heard my footsteps going back and forth in the middle of the night. Every time I went down the stairs, …honestly, I was mistaken that it took 3 or 4 minutes, not 10 minutes, because it was slippery.

It’s not like I have a fear of stairs. I’m just scared of falling down.

“Change the color…. I don’t like beige because it’s old-fashioned.”

When I muttered, Tae-rim-ssi answered ‘Yes, yes’ in a businesslike manner. Then he took off my shoes. When he tried to take off my socks, I hid my feet in the blanket. Then he narrowed his eyes. He must be bothered that I went to bed in the clothes I went out in, but I couldn’t help it.

“Don’t you want to change your clothes?”

“I don’t want to.”

“It’s dirty.”

“It’s not dirty.”

What’s dirty about this, I actually liked it. It had Tae-rim-ssi’s bodily fluids and scent on it, so it felt like I was being held in his arms.

Sleep poured down and pressed down on my body. With my eyes closed, I heard Tae-rim-ssi pacing around and changing his clothes. I also felt him coming to sit next to me and pulling up the blanket.

I whispered, not with my mouth, but only in my heart. Cheon Tae-rim-ssi, I would be happy just if you lay down next to me. I had liked you for no reason since the day I met you.

That day, that restaurant, when I heard your voice and saw your small smile… I thought you would become a real family and friend in my life. I was excited that a wonderful husband would be born to the loner Kang Hae-ah. Because I had waited for 26 years… because I had lived hard until I was twenty-six years old.

I thought I would finally have my own real people, my family, my home.

“Cheon Tae-rim-ssi.”

I whispered in a daze.

“Next time… don’t come. If I write that you shouldn’t come… just listen to me….”

“I don’t want to.”

Even to the words I said in my dream, he only gave answers that he didn’t want to.

“Then sleep well, Hae-ah-ssi.”

I laughed at the sound of him saying good night, see you tomorrow. At the end of the hazy smile, a question mark arose.

‘But how did he know I was at that bar. I think I only told him the name of the wine bar….’

That day, the dream was warm.

The sunlight stung my eyes. My head was pounding and my arms and legs were numb. I was even suspicious that someone had hit me while I was sleeping. I even wondered if Tae-rim-ssi hated me and rolled me under the bed.

If I remember correctly, I fell asleep in my going-out clothes, but when I looked in the mirror, I was wearing pajama pants and a bathrobe. The bathrobe belt was tied so tightly that I couldn’t untie it with my own strength.

I gave up on changing my clothes and went out of the bedroom. I could see the long second-floor hallway, the chandelier on the high ceiling, and the straight staircase at a glance. The impression I got was ‘messy’. Purple tiles, red mats, black, ivory, and brown rug pieces were scattered here and there.

“…What is this?”

I asked, pressing my fingertips against my eyelids. The rustling sound under the stairs suddenly raised its body. I thought it was someone who came to work, but unexpectedly, the man who straightened his bent back and looked at me was Tae-rim-ssi.

With my mouth open, I looked down at him. The beige sweatshirt he was wearing looked cozy and comfortable, but the arms he had rolled up his sleeves to reveal were dark and the lines of his muscles were thick.

In a more everyday appearance than usual,

“Did you sleep well?”

He greeted me, but it didn’t feel ordinary to me at all.

“Wh-what… what is it?”

I repeated what I had said, looking dazed. Then Tae-rim-ssi shrugged his broad shoulders lightly.

“It’s a rug to put on the stairs.”

The flat tool in his left hand finally caught my eye. White glue was smeared on the tool that looked like a spatula.

“Ah, no, were you… were you still home? I thought you had gone to work….”

“Today is Saturday.”

“It’s the weekend, why are you doing that? Take a rest….”

I tried not to step on the scattered rug pieces and went down the stairs one step at a time. Tae-rim-ssi’s gaze reached the hand holding the railing and then fell.

Well, from before, Tae-rim-ssi didn’t like strangers coming in and out of the house. He was really different from me, who even had someone change a bathroom light bulb. This big house didn’t suit his temperament, who had to have his hands on everything in the house to be satisfied.

In my immature days, I wanted to make ‘our house’ for Tae-rim-ssi. I even talked about moving to a small house with only about five rooms. I couldn’t move because I was conscious of the fact that it was the house Chairman Kang Jun-il gave me…. Instead, I also fired Ok-hye-ssi and controlled the entry of employees, but the effect was minimal. Because I myself had become an uncomfortable stranger to Cheon Tae-rim-ssi.

Tae-rim-ssi watched me go down to the first floor with his clear eyes. When my two feet finally reached the living room, he held several kinds of rug pieces in both hands and spread them out like a fan.

“Just choose the color.”

It was an order that felt almost solemn. I became engrossed in front of the colorful tiles in his hand.

“Um…, purple is old-fashioned. The mat has a good color, but the material is too much like a house raising a baby. I don’t like black because it’s stuffy.”

“I heard black is the latest trend.”

Tae-rim-ssi’s gaze went to the stairs. He had already laid four or five steps with black rugs.

“Hmm. Tae-rim-ssi, this is just a fad, it won’t last even half a year. Who would paint the stairs black when you can’t even see in the dark and are bound to trip? What tasteless vendor sent this as a sample?”

One, two, three rugs fell to the floor in succession.

“Then, is brown better?”

“No, the tone doesn’t match. This is a cool brown, so it clashes with the flooring.”

“…Cool brown.”

Tae-rim-ssi placed the brown tile in his hand on the floor. Then, with a serious face, he began to look back and forth, comparing the colors of the current flooring and the tile.

‘No way…. He doesn’t think all reds are warm colors and all blues are cool colors, does he?’

Tae-rim-ssi made a sound, ‘Eum,’ and I couldn’t tell if he understood me or decided to just move on. Only one rug remained in his hand.

“Then let’s go with white.”

Tae-rim-ssi said, and

“Ivory.”

I replied.

“Not white… ivory. It’s a light ivory color.”

It was new and shocking news that Cheon Tae-rim-ssi, of all people, had such a poor eye for color. Tae-rim-ssi was the most sharp and intelligent man I knew.

Could he be colorblind or something? Later, AOM devices will be released, and he’ll even be involved with Han-seong in the mobile phone business. How important is color in the mobile phone market? It would be a problem if our Tae-rim-ssi couldn’t distinguish between white and ivory.

I should start writing down the spoilers in my head from today. I wasn’t planning on interfering with business or stocks because things might change later, but for the sake of Tae-rim-ssi’s company, it might be good to give him some hints.

As for Il-hae hyung… I should just let him release that mobile phone and be ridiculed as a kitchen induction stove. I don’t think I’ll have any other reason to laugh thanks to Hyung.

“Hire someone to do this kind of thing, okay? I can understand you changing a light bulb yourself, but still.”

I snatched the wallpaper paste spatula from Tae-rim-ssi’s hand. If I left it, his handsome hands would be covered in paste. Tae-rim-ssi was good at everything, so he would probably lay the rug tiles well, but I couldn’t let such a high-caliber person like Cheon Tae-rim work on the stairs all Saturday.

Unexpectedly, Tae-rim-ssi readily listened to me. He looked down at me as I put away the spatula and pushed away the rug, and said,

“I already called someone.”

Reflexively, my head moved to find the person he had called, and

“…Huh?”

I discovered a group of strangers busily moving around in the garden. However, it took a few more seconds to determine exactly what they were doing in my garden.

“What? Why are you moving that?”

I quickly ran out into the garden, still holding the wallpaper paste spatula. As I stepped outside through the open glass door, I even swung the spatula around.

“Be careful! They’re not even dry yet!”

I shouted somewhat excitedly, blocking their path. Then, the people who were busy with their work hesitated and looked at me, and then at Tae-rim-ssi, who followed me out. In their hands, wearing white gloves, were my paintings that were in progress.

Compared to me, who was flustered to the point of anger, Tae-rim-ssi was calm. He gestured, and the workers quickly moved the artwork.

“Che, Cheon Tae-rim-ssi. Are you kicking me out now?”

That was the first hypothesis that came to my mind.

‘Even if I acted disgracefully, how could he… Is he this angry because I kissed Si Eun-cheol-ssi?’

It was definitely something that hadn’t happened before, but this reaction? Cheon Tae-rim smiled at me, who had become bewildered.

“Kang Hae-ah, you seem to have regained your energy since you’re joking.”

It’s not a joke. I’m serious.

“I told them to move only the works in progress to the first-floor dining room.”

“Yes? Why? The detached house has good ventilation, so there’s no smell of oil paint, and it’s nice….”

I was relieved that he wasn’t kicking me and my darlings out together, but only for a moment.

‘Why is Tae-rim-ssi doing this?’

I looked back at him in my memory, wondering if Tae-rim-ssi’s reaction had been like this before. Come to think of it, back in the early days of our marriage when we were still on good terms, he did ask why I insisted on using the detached house as a studio.

‘Isn’t the detached house too cold? How about remodeling it instead?’

I connected the Cheon Tae-rim in my memory to today’s Cheon Tae-rim.

“The dining room is well-ventilated too. And the heating is good. The detached house is too cold. Let’s remodel it instead, and in the meantime, use the main house.”

The gist of the conversation was similar. The only difference was the speed of action, but anyway, he was the Tae-rim-ssi I knew. I sighed, not knowing whether to be relieved or worried.

“That building was designed by a very famous teacher, so it’s a waste to remodel it. The windows were deliberately made large, and the tiles are herringbone wood, so it’s tricky to touch….”

My answer to him was similar to before. Now it was Tae-rim-ssi’s turn to trail off with ‘Is that so?’ and reluctantly respect my opinion and back down.

“Is the house some kind of sculpture? After all, isn’t it Kang Hae-ah’s building now?”

But Cheon Tae-rim, that Cheon Tae-rim, took half a step towards me. I took a step back at his movement, which narrowed the distance as if he was cornering me.

“Yes? Ah, no, but if I work inside the house, the smell of oil paint will keep coming to the hallway.”

“There’s an air purifier.”

“Bu, but still, I’ll be rustling around all night and it’ll be noisy, won’t it?”

“I don’t sleep much anyway.”

“It might seem easy to think about, but Tae-rim-ssi will be very uncomfortable….”

“What is it, now?”

My heel bumped into a garden ornament. I took my foot off the baby deer made of carved marble. Green grass stains were on the soles of my feet, which were not wearing socks.

It was the result of me retreating and him repeatedly approaching.

I swallowed hard. My throat was parched as if there was sand in my mouth.

“It’s nothing. I’ll move the studio. I’m sorry. Don’t be angry.”

“I’m not angry.”

He cornered me so embarrassingly, and then said he wasn’t angry. I wanted to lash out with something out of resentment, but I didn’t have the strength to do so.

“Then why have you been talking like that since earlier….”

While adjusting the gown that was slipping off my shoulders, all I could do was grumble miserably.

“You told me to use honorifics unconditionally, for our Kang Hae-ah, the artist.”

“……”

Cheon Tae-rim-ssi seems to have a knack for driving me crazy.

Before the arranged marriage, instead of looking at imaginary figures like AOM’s Alpha Omega trait and compatibility, we should have looked at our horoscopes. If we had, the divination would have said that Cheon Tae-rim was born with a plastic washbasin fate, and Kang Hae-ah was born with a wriggling sardine fate, destined to wriggle this way and that in Cheon Tae-rim’s palm.

It was the same right now. I told him not to call me ‘Hae-ah-ya,’ but who told him to draw the line like that and use the ‘-da/na/kka’ style?

“Don’t stay in a cold place, Hae-ah-ssi. You’re someone who shivers at the slightest breeze.”

Cheon Tae-rim-ssi said in a tone as stiff as a soldier.

It was a statement full of misunderstandings. I was someone who didn’t get cold at all. But I couldn’t explain it. I couldn’t tell him that I was trembling with fear because of Cheon Tae-rim-ssi.

“Stay in our house.”

When he said those words in that voice, I had no choice but to follow him back obediently. He said ‘our house,’ so what could I do? It was something I had never had in my life, and he was telling me to go there.

I was planning to pretend to be angry for half a day because he moved the studio without permission. Of course, it didn’t work out well. After the people disappeared and Ok-hye-ssi cleaned up the tools, I liked the new studio so much that I couldn’t bear not to go inside.

‘It’s warm!’

I sat down on the plush chair and looked around. As if it had been my studio from the beginning, the dining room had been completely transformed. New wallpaper had been put up on the walls so that I could attach my sketches, and everything was great, from the table area for resting to the workspace and the comfortable sofa.

In particular, the blackout curtains that had been newly hung on the windows moved me. Tae-rim-ssi had installed the curtains himself, saying that the sunlight could be strong in the summer and damage the paint.

In the afternoon, while sitting in the chair in the new studio and wiggling my butt, I received a call that I had completely forgotten about.

[Hae-ah-ya, are you busy?]

It was a message from Hye-rim noona.

But the shape of the chatroom was a bit unusual. When I scanned the screen up and down, three people had disappeared from the group chat that had five people.

Hye-rim noona filled the screen, which had become desolate with just the two of us, with roundabout words. At first, she sent a poster image asking me to come to the group exhibition, and later, she reported on the situation, saying that Hyung-shik hyung and Jun-woo were angry.

[The kids are making a fuss about posting on the internet, so I’m trying to stop them… Would you mind coming to the opening ceremony? I don’t know what happened, but Hyung-shik sunbae went to the emergency room and had four stitches because of you.]

Since that incident happened, the three of them must be having a great time talking badly about me. Noona must have heard the stories going around, but I was grateful that she was talking about it from a distance, saying that she ‘didn’t know what happened.’ It seemed like she was thinking of me.

‘But he only got four stitches? Is that Hyung’s forehead made of cowhide?’

Since it’s good to be good, Hye-rim noona was right. I should apologize, pay for the treatment, and show my face at the opening ceremony. ‘Okay, I’ll stop by,’ I was about to reply, but I stopped my finger.

‘No….’

I’m not twenty-six-year-old Kang Hae-ah right now, but thirty-two years old and having experienced all kinds of hardships.

‘Even if it’s good to be good, it’s just making one person happy in the end. Why should I go there? It’s not like our Tae-rim-ssi did something wrong.’

Of course, violence is bad, but Tae-rim-ssi had a good reason to do so! And that reason was me.

When my thoughts reached that point, my head started to heat up. If it was just Kang Hae-ah’s business, I would have given a few settlement fees and smiled it off, but this was different. I wasn’t just Kang Hae-ah, but Kang Hae-ah, the husband of Cheon Tae-rim. If I apologized, it was as if Tae-rim-ssi was apologizing.

Besides, all they’re going to do is post on the internet. What site would they even post it on? Are they going to file a national petition? No, they’ll probably post it on the male-dominated communities or cafes they frequent. At that point, they had already given up on reporting it to the police.

It was obvious that they didn’t have the confidence to compete legally, and their intention was to tarnish the image of Tae-rim-ssi’s company and the prosecutor’s family.

‘Why should I coax and appease those guys?’

I unconsciously furrowed my brow. While scrunching my eyebrows and biting my lip, I carefully reread the message Hye-rim noona sent. What made me wonder was the gallery information written on the exhibition poster.

“Driver Oh, are you outside?”

I shouted, and

“Yes. Did you call me?”

Driver Oh replied not long after. I could hear him approaching the door, but he didn’t barge in and just answered, which was like Driver Oh.

I stretched my neck out.

“Can you take a look at this for a second?”

As if he had been waiting for those words, Driver Oh came in. Ok-hye-ssi also followed behind him with a plate of fruit. I quickly handed my phone to the two of them. The screen with the ‘Directions’ map was at maximum brightness.

“Here, who runs ‘Bomkari Gallery’? Is it, is it her? My eldest sister’s?”

“No, no. Vice President’s building is in a completely different place. I’ve never heard of Bomkari….”

While examining the screen more passionately than Driver Oh, Ok-hye-ssi tilted her head. The two of them, holding my phone in both hands, were like detectives. They narrowed their eyes and stared at the screen.

I popped a strawberry with a fork into my mouth.

“Oh…, I think this is the place I took you to in February?”

Driver Oh said. February, February of twenty-six years old… It was specific, but it wasn’t helpful at all.

Kang Hae-ah at twenty-six years old was someone who couldn’t stay at home at all. Little did I know that I would become a shut-in due to a serious illness in my thirties. According to my younger sister, I was ‘running around like a firecracker,’ so there could be a gallery I visited in February anywhere in Seoul.

“He, um, said, ‘I’m doing another exhibition that won’t make any money,’ but he actually gave a congratulatory speech when he went.”

“Oh! I know!”

As expected, Driver Oh is the best! I excitedly patted his shoulder.

Thanks to him, I remembered. ‘Bomkari Gallery.’ Around the end of winter every year, they would collect and exhibit outstanding works by undergraduate graduates. I remembered nagging and visiting, saying that they were exhibiting paintings by young artists who wouldn’t sell without even receiving a rental fee. As Driver Oh said, I also gave a short congratulatory speech.

I did that to pretend to be a cool lover right after breaking up with Teacher Im.

“It’s Teacher Im’s gallery. Aha, that’s right…. They’re having an exhibition at Teacher Im’s gallery.”

While muttering, I pushed the fruit plate aside. Ok-hye-ssi picked it up again and left the room with Driver Oh. I could see Ok-hye-ssi’s finger poking Driver Oh, who was glancing at the canvas in progress.

At that moment, a great idea flashed in my head. It had been a long time since I felt like a Christmas light bulb was turning on in my head.

If I unfolded the canvas when I got such a pleasant inspiration, I would be praised, but if I put it into action, I would be cursed.

‘That bastard’s doing it again.’

That was the sentence that followed me in my teens. Whenever I did something noticeable, the guys who knew each other because they were Korean would curse like that.

The aspiring artists who had studied abroad in faraway Paris were all crazy in one way or another. Most of them were attention-seekers, and even the timid ones would suddenly do something unexpected. Even among those guys, Kang Hae-ah in his teens was a Korean psycho, a brat who thought the rich were nobles, and a reckless fool who didn’t know the world.

But very occasionally, I liked that version of myself too. It was like when my heart was pounding at the thought of ruining someone else’s work, like today.

-Yes, artist.

Teacher Im answered the phone before the dial tone got too long. I leaned back deeply in the chair and kicked the table. The chair spun half a turn from the recoil. Through the open doorway, I could see Tae-rim-ssi holding the doorknob. When our eyes met, he gave a light nod and entered the studio.

While watching Tae-rim-ssi walk to the bookshelf on one side of the dining room, I whispered,

“Teacher, do you want to come see my work?”

-Work? What work… Are you working again, artist?

“Is art a job? It’s life, life.”

-Stop joking. Have you started a new project? Is it for real this time?

His voice was quite loud, as if he was excited. Tae-rim-ssi turned to look at me, as if the sound of the call was bothering him. I slightly adjusted my voice and lowered my tone.

“Um, ahem…. When have I ever lied, Teacher? I’ve already started the groundwork.”

-You didn’t even say you were drawing an esquisse. You didn’t even get advice…. Do you have someone else besides me now?

“It’s not someone else, but I do have a husband…?”

Soon, the novel in Tae-rim-ssi’s hand came into view. It was a collection of short stories with a red band. I had seen Tae-rim-ssi reading that book before. He was the type to see things through once he started, so he would even look at the credits of a documentary, but he had put that book down halfway through because it wasn’t interesting.

I got up from my seat and approached him. I kept the phone next to my ear.

“Anyway… come visit sometime. I moved my studio today.”

I subtly added the new news. If he just asked where I moved to, I was planning to boast a thousand words starting with ‘Oh, my husband, you know.’

-I’ll stop by when I have time. I’m busy these days.

Teacher Im’s reaction was lackluster.

I stealthily snatched the short story collection from Tae-rim-ssi’s hand. I sat down in front of the bookshelf and looked for a book that he would like.

“Sixteen points?”

-Can I go now?

The book I chose was a novel that was famous for its excellent translation. It was scheduled to become a hit this year and be made into a movie next year. I handed the book to Tae-rim-ssi and gave him an awkward smile.

But Tae-rim-ssi didn’t leave the bookshelf. Well, there was no guarantee that the book I suddenly recommended would be interesting.

I was secretly happy that he was in my new studio. I sidled up to him, pretending to browse the bookshelf as well.

From beyond the phone,

“Writer-nim?”

Teacher Im urged me to answer.

“Should I show it to you for free, or not?”

“You’re being unusually long-winded today, Artist Kang. Just name your price. My knees are starting to hurt. You know I kneel every time I answer your calls, right?”

“There’s an exhibition opening on the 24th, right? The one with four Korea University graduate students in Hall A.”

I raised my hand slightly to shield the phone. Plotting something wicked next to Tae-rim-ssi made me feel like a petty villain.

Lowering my voice a tone, I whispered,

“Isn’t four people too many for that tiny exhibition hall….”

Yeah. I may not have face, but I have money.

Jun-woo was right. Kang Hae-ah had only ever met jerks, even in faraway Paris.

But there was one thing Jun-woo didn’t know. Kang Hae-ah had always sent those guys back to their home countries.

Teacher Im was the only one who survived dating Kang Hae-ah as a decent adult. The rest of the jerks were all scrapped. I never hesitated when it came to dealing with my relationships with them. Because I didn’t think anyone could hurt me, no matter what insults they hurled or what curses they spat behind my back.

After all, I had never seriously liked any of them. I just needed a hand to hold and a tongue to tell me sweet nothings. No matter how hard someone I never cared for swung a knife, it was happening outside my skin. Once I turned away, they were strangers, and once I got rid of them, it was over.

That’s why I believed that even Il-hae hyung couldn’t hurt me. Even if my body ached dozens of times, physical pain and emotional wounds were different things.

Ah, this won’t do. This time, it really hurts. He really left a scar on me, he hurt me. Cheon Tae-rim was the only one who could make me realize that. Because I liked him, that much.

He and I were both perpetrators and victims to each other.

“What are you smiling about?”

Tae-rim-ssi asked, closing the book he had been reading with a thud. Holding the warm phone in my hand, I looked up at his sullen expression. Then, instead of answering, I bumped my shoulder against his arm. Not that Cheon Tae-rim even flinched; I was the only one who swayed.

“Guardian.”

Then I smiled like an idiot.

“I really like that word.”

It sounded like Tae-rim-ssi chuckled along with my silly smile. It was a faint sound, like the autumn sun, but it was definitely a chuckle. But when I turned to look at him, he was just staring down at the bookshelf with a nonchalant expression.

I waited for a few minutes, watching him, but he didn’t smile again.

“Ah, ah, wait, just a minute!”

I shouted and ran down the stairs. My knees wobbled as I hurried down one step at a time. The railing looked more crooked than usual because I wasn’t fully awake, and the first floor looked even lower. Still, it was definitely less scary with the rug.

Tae-rim-ssi watched me chase after him like a monster, without a word. He stopped right in front of the door leading to the entrance.

His hand floated in the air toward me, then went down.

So what if I overslept? Was he going to leave for work without saying goodbye? Well, I guess he could. There hadn’t been a single day in Kang Hae-ah’s six years of marriage when a ‘I’m off’ was mandatory.

But,

“Tae-rim-ssi, are you going out like that?”

There was no way I could allow my husband to wear a tacky tie. Any ugly tie hanging below Cheon Tae-rim’s neck was immediately sentenced to death! Death! I was going to cut it to shreds with scissors so it could never be used again.

Of course, except for the blue tie he inherited from Chief Prosecutor Cheon Hee-jung. And except for the cute tie with the little penguins that looked like spiral patterns, which my mother-in-law gave him as a gift.

Everything else was to be executed immediately.

“Are you going to take the subway?”

As soon as I asked that, Tae-rim-ssi’s gaze toward me became very intense. I felt like his expressionless stare would pierce my forehead. Maybe it’s because I came downstairs without washing my face and looking a mess… I thought, and wiped my face with my hand.

“Because today is Tuesday….”

The rest of my words were no louder than a ladybug crawling.

Every Tuesday was the day when all employees of Tae-rim-ssi’s company, AOM, used public transportation. I remembered hearing a long time ago that there was no obligation to participate in ‘Tuesday: Public Transportation Day,’ which had been ongoing since the company’s founding for environmental protection…

When he said that, Cheon Tae-rim-ssi, the CEO and manager, didn’t seem to realize that just him keeping that day every week put pressure on his subordinates. He even mistakenly thought that all of his subordinates wanted the ‘Employee of the Month’ award.

‘I was thinking of stopping it this year, but everyone is so enthusiastic that I couldn’t help but continue.’

That was the kind of charming person Cheon Tae-rim-ssi was, the one I knew.

Remembering that conversation made my heart flutter. It was one of the few good memories, one of the few times I could smile while thinking of him.

“…How does Hae-ah-ssi know that?”

That was, until I remembered that I hadn’t had that conversation with today’s Tae-rim-ssi yet.

“Oh…, well, no, it’s just….”

“‘Just’?”

“No, I just saw that the driver hadn’t come outside the window, so I thought that might be the reason. I think I saw it on the AOM website before too…. Anyway.”

Cutting off the excuse that was only becoming more suspicious the more I talked, I put my hands on my hips. And I spoke clearly.

“Dominant Alpha Cheon Tae-rim-ssi, who married the youngest son of Hanseong Group.”

“Yes.”

“…I was going to say that people would recognize… you….”

Tae-rim-ssi’s stern face became even more rigid than usual. My shoulders also shrank slightly. A strange chill ran down my neck.

“…Um, Tae-rim-ssi. Yes, so…, if you take the subway, at least ten people in each car will recognize your face. You might get your picture taken, so going out like that is a bit.”

Trying to ease the awkward atmosphere, I quickly got to the point. I pointed to his tie with my fingertips.

Tae-rim-ssi didn’t seem offended by my comment. He just looked down at his large, sturdy body. I also took this opportunity to openly scan my husband’s well-proportioned body.

The white shirt, with its buttons working hard, had a short collar design. The suit jacket, which flawlessly packaged his thick chest and firm waist, was custom-made from a personal shop, and the blue-tinted black shoes were Italian, bought during our honeymoon.

The problem was the tie. The reddish-brown color wasn’t unflattering on Tae-rim-ssi, but the checkered pattern had gaps that were too wide, giving off an overly casual impression, and I didn’t like the material that reflected the light from the lamps.

After a moment of silence, Tae-rim-ssi changed his expression. It seemed he understood the intention of my words. A smile spread across my face.

“Just because you wear expensive clothes doesn’t mean you become high-class all of a sudden.”

He said, and

“What are you talking about? What’s wrong with Tae-rim-ssi?”

My head was heating up.

No, why is my mind jumping to that? What’s wrong with my husband? He’s high-class just by looking at his appearance, and he’s even more charming once you get to know his inner self! The presumptuous chatter pounded against the roof of my mouth. To swallow the unnecessary and burdensome praise, I had to suppress my rampaging heart with the reins of reason.

“What I mean is… other people don’t know what Tae-rim-ssi is thinking, and even if they did, they wouldn’t believe it. Your work attire is, overall, too low-end. They’ll say you’re deliberately wearing cheap clothes and cosplaying as a commoner to manage your image.”

“No. Who would say that to someone?”

“I’m saying it because I’ve heard it all before.”

Welcome to Kang Hae-ah’s world… I wanted to say with a jest, but I held it back. I couldn’t keep someone going to work for too long. Taking half a step closer, I untied the tie around his neck.

“The suit is good. Expensive things are useless; the best thing is that it fits Tae-rim-ssi’s body perfectly. I like that outfit too.”

You look handsome in it… I muttered, hiding the tie that was about to be executed behind my back.

I had a hunch, and I was right. Just taking off the tie made Tae-rim-ssi’s impression come alive. His sensitive-looking face gave off an urban feel, and his well-defined jaw and thick neck were emphasized, making him look strong.

I told him to wait a moment and ran back up the stairs. I hurried into Tae-rim-ssi’s dressing room on the second floor. It didn’t take me even 20 seconds to find a new tie.

“Wear this one.”

I shouted from the bedroom, worried that Tae-rim-ssi would leave without waiting for me. Then, holding the neat tie in my hand, I hurried down the stairs. Tae-rim-ssi’s gaze as he watched me running around the house so carelessly wasn’t kind. His brow was furrowed like someone who was flustered, and his black eyes were shaking like my footsteps.

Embarrassed, I swallowed hard and held up the tie.

“This is just right. It’s a design that the most handsome Dominant Alpha in Seoul would wear, but it’s not an obvious luxury brand… and it doesn’t sound ridiculously expensive.”

I immediately regretted using the expression ‘ridiculously expensive.’ Fortunately, Tae-rim-ssi didn’t seem to understand my words. If he had known it was a chaebol joke that ridiculed news and internet articles, saying things like ‘They’re making a fuss over spending just a few hundred million, they’re even making a fuss over a thousand,’ I would have had to see his disgusted face.

Of course, I wanted to put something ridiculously expensive around Tae-rim-ssi’s neck too.

Tae-rim-ssi was more relaxed than I was, who was lost in idle thoughts. He was going to be late if he took the subway, so he should be busy, but he was taking his time, as if he was being uncharacteristically lazy, and he didn’t take the tie I offered.

I stared at his upright upper body and straight hands for a few seconds. I wondered if he didn’t like it, but the tie I had chosen was definitely a design that Tae-rim-ssi would like.

‘Maybe it’s because he’s still in his twenties. When I see him like this, Tae-rim-ssi seems really young.’

So that he wouldn’t be called a tardy CEO, I quickly pulled on his shirt collar. I wrapped the tie around his neck with both hands, carefully folding it to make sure it was angled correctly. But tying a tie on someone else’s neck was completely different from tying it on my own. I realized then that I had never taken care of someone else’s clothes in my life. Even my own ties were usually tied by someone else 90% of the time.

The tie I had carefully tied was crooked, to no avail.

“…….”

I had no choice but to untie it and tie it again, but it was about the same.

‘Is there a mirror on the subway? Tae-rim-ssi will look at it and retie it himself, right?’

Embarrassed, I smoothed the bottom of the tie for no reason. Then, when I looked up, I saw black eyes filled with me. The eyes with thick eyelashes on his masculine face were beautiful every time I saw them.

He’s really handsome, whoever’s husband he is. His calm eyes, straight and high nose, and thoughtful lips are all beautiful. There’s always an inverted triangle shadow under his straight nose, and sometimes it looks like the moist nose of a kind and fluffy animal. I’ve liked that moment for a long time…. At the end of my happy reverie, I thought that this wasn’t the time for this.

My nose was almost touching Tae-rim-ssi’s chin as I looked up at him from close range. His lips, looking down at me, were tightly closed and still. As if he was waiting for something, his gaze carried a silent signal.

‘Ah.’

I smiled, stroking the tie once.

“Then, have a good day.”

I said goodbye like that and patted his shoulder. It was a gesture of encouragement, telling him to have a good day.

I knew Tae-rim-ssi well, but Tae-rim-ssi still seemed unfamiliar with that side of me. His eyes shook, as if he was surprised that I had given him the greeting he had been waiting for.

Then, after a few seconds of hesitation, he

“…Yes, I understand.”

and turned away abruptly.

My steps, which had been following him for a few steps, stopped at the entrance. He glanced back at me once, then went out the door.

The front door closed silently.

I stared at the tightly closed door for a moment, then hurried to the window leading to the garden.

Hiding behind the curtain, I stole a glance at his back as he walked away.

‘He didn’t even say goodbye to me kindly….’

I twisted my lips at that thought, then suddenly startled.

‘What are you expecting? Are you already losing your mind?’

A sharp sense of urgency struck me. This wasn’t the time to be happy and wish for greetings.

I had a lot to do starting today. I had to restore the daily life that the previous Kang Hae-ah had diligently filled, and become twice as smart.

First of all, I had to redraw the sixteen works that I had completed overnight while crying and tearing at my hair. I had to show my face at the invited fashion week, raise my father’s profile by attending charity events, avoid Il-hae hyung… and I also had to go see the exhibition that had been transformed into Hye-rim noona’s solo show. I had to take responsibility for the changes I had influenced.

So, this wasn’t the time. I had to write in the journal right away. Before I forgot the accidents that had happened before because I was complacent with today’s peace, it was time to write ‘Kang Hae-ah’s Future Journal’ and set up countermeasures.

So this definitely wasn’t the time, but….

‘I’m just watching Tae-rim-ssi leave….’

I stared blankly at his back as he disappeared across the garden.

The house, which had been filled with his presence, instantly turned cold. The high ceilings and bright living room only gave the feeling of being overly empty. I quietly looked around the empty house and headed for the stairs.

I spent the morning sitting on the first step of the stairs until Ok-hye-ssi came in with a shopping basket and made an ‘Egu-gu’ sound.

‘Kang Hae-ah’s Future Journal’ was unnecessarily verbose.

I had written down only a handful of days that were worth commemorating, and I didn’t have a proper answer to the public service advertisement-like question, ‘When were you happiest?’ It was a life where I had ruined not only my own body but also Tae-rim-ssi’s life as it flowed and fell apart, so what was there to write about in detail when I had done so well?

After writing down all of my past life, one leather notebook was full. The full notebook felt like a brazen maggot.

I turned on the desk lamp and found a red pen. Then I started crossing out the thoughts that were not objective facts. I scratched out the weather that day, the color of the clothes Tae-rim-ssi was wearing, my mood, and my frustrated feelings.

After tearing out several pages entirely and subtracting for a long time, a plausible schedule was completed.

.

.

.

6/5. Tae-rim-ssi’s first rut day.

Tae-rim-ssi reports to 119 at 1 AM. The day I go to the hospital.

6/7~. Tae-rim-ssi’s first business trip to Chicago.

Important schedule!! Remember to bring the USB in advance this time!!

7/7. My birthday = Mother’s fake death anniversary. Participate in Hanseong charity event. The day I hear about the solo exhibition gallery fix… Be careful with my actions. Avoid Il-hae hyung.

7/14. Mother’s real death anniversary. Visit the charnel house with Ok-hye-ssi.

7/22. Tae-rim-ssi’s return!!! The day I received a gift from Tae-rim-ssi 🙂

8/3. Solo exhibition opening ceremony (~30)

8/10. AOM Technology Innovation Grand Prize (Tae-rim-ssi is in the best mood. I must go to the event this time! I can congratulate him in advance!)

9/21. Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s second rut. Be careful not to let the neighbors call the police.

10/1. Chief Prosecutor Cheon Hee-jung’s first news report + Tae-rim-ssi’s condition is strange…

11/20. Chief Prosecutor Cheon Hee-jung’s resignation date, Chief Prosecutor Cheon Hee-jung’s death anniversary.

12/25. Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s long-term business trip.

(I don’t remember what happened all month long.)

1/1. Trait test 2nd result: Beta

2/1. Trait test 3rd result: Beta

3/1. Trait test 4th result: Beta

4/1. Trait test 5th result: Beta

5/1. Trait test 6th result: Beta

.

.

.

I tried to ignore the handwriting that became more and more messy as I went on. I narrowed my eyes and looked at only the most important schedules.

‘June 5th. Tae-rim-ssi’s first rut day….’

It was something that would happen ten days from today.

The memory of that day was still vivid to me. The letters written in the notebook could be erased and covered with a pen, but the accident that was etched in my mind could not be forgotten.

Tae-rim-ssi and I, who didn’t even know what a Dominant Alpha’s rut was and were more surprised than I was by the sudden rut, were a truly unfortunate couple.

Still, our first impressions of each other were good, the conversations weren’t bad, and there was laughter at the end of every sentence… that’s why it was even worse, because there was a pillar to comfort myself with, saying that the first button wasn’t buttoned up well.

My pity always leaned towards Cheon Tae-rim-ssi rather than myself. It was a self-deprecating pity, wondering if there was anyone who ruined Tae-rim-ssi as much as Kang Hae-ah did.

Whether it was getting hit by his flailing hand when trying to give him a suppressant shot, or tumbling down the stairs when I tried to call an ambulance… in the end, I was the one lying in the ambulance.

The Tae-rim-ssi I saw that day was shocking at first. Those dark eyes, tracing fragmented memories and shedding tears, that wet voice regretting and apologizing, believing himself to be the perpetrator….

Similar shocks overwhelmed me several times. It was the result of recklessly rushing in, not knowing my place, trying to overcome my husband’s rut in some way. Some days, the neighbors called the police after hearing my screams, some days my lip was torn, and every day, I ended up getting hurt in some way.

The shock became a daily occurrence.

Later on, meeting Tae-rim-ssi anew every morning was a shock every single day. There was a moment when Kang Hae-ah became the perpetrator. A moment when I became a dirty Beta who deceived Cheon Tae-rim’s long suffering and even played the victim.

Every time he met me like that, he seemed more and more unhappy and angry. There were no more tears mixed in the voice that hurled words like knives.

He became cold, like a rock that couldn’t feel any emotion. He became extremely hard, in order to never forgive Kang Hae-ah, who begged and pleaded for forgiveness.

I really didn’t know, please just believe me one more time… Every time he wavered at my pleas, Cheon Tae-rim had to become a parricide who even forgot his father’s death.

‘It’s okay.’

There was one clear fact. That I needed a red pen in my head too.

‘It won’t happen this time.’

When I closed the notebook, my vision was blurred with red haze. It was as if the frantically scribbled letters were imprinted on my cornea. After closing my eyes tightly for a moment, I sensed someone’s presence.

7:30 PM, it was time for Tae-rim-ssi to return.

I hurriedly shoved the leather notebook, worn out in just one day, into the bottom drawer of my work desk. Wiping the ink off my hands on my pants, I rushed outside.

“Tae-rim-ssi, you’re back?”

Then, a belated embarrassment washed over my cheeks. It made it seem like I had been waiting all day for him to come back. Which was true, but there was no need to reveal every single fact.

Fortunately, Tae-rim-ssi didn’t seem to notice my attitude. With a face that looked a little more tired than in the morning, he stood still and looked down at me.

“Yes. I’m back.”

He greeted me.

Slowly approaching, I picked up the end of his tie. And I realized that the previous Kang Hae-ah was no different from a scarecrow. Only the facade of a genius painter was intact, but I was a scarecrow who had neither the right nor the ability to choose even one piece of furniture for the house, or the color of the tie worn by the man I loved.

As I untied the crooked tie with its awkwardly tied knot, I felt more relieved than Tae-rim-ssi did.

The good news the Doctor told me made my heart lighter. I even felt a little excited. The stabilization period of the late awakening had passed safely, and the body scent that had been wafting around from time to time had also disappeared. I easily dismissed the warning that I only needed to be careful of the stimulation given by Alphas. After all, the only Alpha who could stimulate me was Cheon Tae-rim, and him alone.

At times like this, I was so glad to have Driver Oh.

“How is it? Can you smell anything?”

When he put his nose to my sleeve and sniffed, he had a very serious expression. His neatly trimmed eyebrows furrowed.

“I can’t smell anything at all. If I met you for the first time, I’d think you were a Beta?”

“Yay, that’s great.”

I flopped down in the back seat of the car. The cautious Driver Oh held the tip of his index finger, which had touched my hand, in front of his nose. After sniffing it a little more, he shook his head.

“I really can’t smell anything.”

The expression on Driver Oh’s face as he said that was as bright as if something good had happened to him.

Oh Geon-min, the driver, could be described as an ‘Alpha more trustworthy than a Beta.’ He was a devoted husband who only knew his wife. When he worked for a year as my driver, I gave him a necklace as a commemorative gift to give to his wife. He was so grateful to receive it that I was embarrassed.

In my past life, Il-hae hyung had snatched Driver Oh away, but this time it was different. Judging by the fact that he wasn’t making any moves, Hyung seemed to know as well that there was no better subordinate for me than an Alpha who had already knotted and imprinted with his Omega wife.

If he were to take away such a Driver Oh, Chairman Kang Jun-il would not leave Hyung alone. After awakening as an Omega, Father’s attitude towards me had become noticeably softer. Even the Aston Martin I was riding in today was a gift Father had sent on a whim.

‘What good is a new SUV, it’s a six-year-old model in my opinion.’

On the rough curve, the new car passed smoothly. With my elbow on the car window, I leaned back deeply in the back seat. It was only for a moment that I looked at the back of Driver Oh, who was focused on driving. The shape of his ring finger, pressed in the shape of his wedding ring, looked very romantic.

‘Knotting and imprinting….’

Looking down at the ring on my hand, I fiddled with it and took a long breath.

‘What am I even thinking.’

Betas didn’t know the difference between knotting and imprinting, but the two were fundamentally different. Knotting was something the body did, and imprinting was, well… something more embarrassing and profound than that.

To put it simply: knotting was something even animals did, and it was only established through sex. It was the act of an Alpha swelling their genitals during intercourse and stuffing their body scent into the Omega. The Omega’s opinion may or may not be reflected, so it could be said to be an unreasonable one-way street.

But imprinting was different. An Alpha could do it, and an Omega could do it, and even if one of them unilaterally imprinted, there was no guarantee that the other would respond. Therefore, ‘One-sided Imprinting’ meant an extreme unrequited love.

An Alpha noona I dated in Paris once told me, under the Pont de Bir-Hakeim bridge where we had walked to avoid the pouring snow,

‘Hae-ah, there’s no soul bonding between us.’

And then she dumped me.

Soul bonding. It was a bit of an exaggeration, but that was the perfect word to describe ‘Mutual Imprinting.’ A pair that was bound together without any way to force or sever the connection.

Alphas and Omegas who had completed everything from knotting to imprinting with each other were a common happy ending material in romance movies. Finding a perfect match was nothing short of a mission for teenage Alphas and Omegas. Well, in reality, only 12 percent of couples in Korean society had completed knotting and imprinting.

Once they had established that ‘soul bonding,’ they became like Driver Oh. They were no longer attracted to or aroused by the body scent of other Alphas or Omegas other than their own mate. Thanks to that, he could drive me, an unstable Omega, in the back seat while humming and taking care of my beet juice.

‘I wanted something like that too, thinking everything would be fine once I awakened….’

Watching the trees passing by outside the car window, I gradually became indifferent. Thinking about the excitement I felt when I received Tae-rim-ssi’s profile from Chairman Kang, saying he was a ‘Dominant Alpha who would marry you,’ I wanted to punch myself in the past.

And,

‘Don’t have such ridiculous expectations, Kang Hae-ah.’

I should lecture myself like that.

‘You’re going to live and die as a Beta, and even if you become an Omega, you’re recessive. So, get a grip and only want what you can have, and only do what you can do. Do you even know how painful the betrayal of foolish expectations is?’

While scolding the twenty-six-year-old Kang Hae-ah in my mind, the car arrived at its destination. Through the window, I could see a grayish-brown building with a shell-like roof.

“How many hours will it take?”

Driver Oh asked, and

“I’m not going to do anything like a congratulatory speech this time. I’m just going to give her the bouquet and leave, so wait outside for a bit.”

I replied.

As I got out of the car, Driver Oh followed me out. Then he went to the trunk and took out the bouquet and a box of gifts that I had requested in advance. It was a gift for Hye-rim noona, who was holding a solo exhibition instead of a group exhibition because of me—or thanks to me.

“Then, I’ll wait in the parking lot.”

As Driver Oh drove away, pulling the car out from the roadside, the gazes of people that had been fixed on the shiny new car scattered a little. After taking a sigh, I entered the gallery entrance.

In front of the hallway leading to Hall A, there was a wreath with my name and congratulatory words written on it. I passed by the wreath, which was unfamiliar even to me, and entered the exhibition hall. Hye-rim noona’s face was very bright when she found me.

“Wow, what would have happened if you hadn’t had a solo exhibition?”

I joked with an awkward smile. I wanted to praise Hye-rim noona’s work while showing that I was sorry for making her change her schedule so suddenly. Noona said, ‘Why did you buy something again,’ and pulled me by the arm.

“Sorry I couldn’t come on the opening day, Noona. I’ve been going to the hospital.”

“Oh, no! Were you sick? Are you okay, are you okay? This kid says all sorts of things. Thanks to the wreath you sent, my spirits were lifted. Thank you so much for your consideration. After this happened, only Ki-young briefly showed his face.”

It seemed that Hyung-shik hyung and Jun-woo were completely sulking. Well, given their personalities, even if they had forced themselves to come to congratulate me, they would have turned around in front of the wreath with my name on it.

Anyway, they’re such petty guys. Even if they were at odds with me, there was no need to make an enemy of a fellow artist like Hye-rim noona.

I greeted a few people who recognized me and started talking to me, and I also looked at Noona’s works. I felt like the Pied Piper because of the people following me around…. Noona’s hastily arranged solo exhibition was the very reason why I liked my female classmates. They always had a Plan B. It meant that they had at least five extra pieces that they could quickly put out by just getting the frames fitted, even on a tight schedule.

“Noona, you should definitely work on this as a series later.”

I bought two pieces. In two years, when Shin Hye-rim became famous, the price would increase tenfold, and my mother-in-law would like it too. I thought I should buy them in advance and give them as a gift.

I felt good seeing Noona blushing and feeling embarrassed. Selling my paintings was still unfamiliar and embarrassing… I used to be like that too.

I took a picture with Noona, who kept thanking me, next to the wreath. I was hoping Teacher Im would be here so we could chat, but it was a shame she wasn’t here.

“Let’s have a meal together next time. I have to go today, I’m in a hurry with my work too.”

As I made a reasonable excuse and left the exhibition hall,

“Ah, okay! Thanks for stopping by!”

Hye-rim noona saw me off briefly.

“Kang Hae-ah.”

And I met Jun-woo.

“Let’s talk for a moment.”

I glanced back at the glass door of the exhibition hall. Hye-rim noona was running towards her friends with a skipping gait, not seeing Jun-woo. Unfamiliar noonas in formal dresses were smiling, holding the gift box I had given them.

“I’ve seen the whole exhibition….”

As I looked at Jun-woo, he suddenly grabbed my arm and led me to a corner of the hallway. It seemed he hadn’t come to see the exhibition. As I followed him to the men’s restroom, I was a little puzzled. I hesitated, wondering if I really had to follow him to a place where there was no one around, but

‘What could possibly happen.’

I gave in vaguely.

‘This is perfect. I should hear what his plans are now. It would be a problem if he went around talking about Tae-rim-ssi….’

After confirming that there was no one in the restroom, Jun-woo closed the door. Then he pushed me into a stall. I stared blankly at him, his face red like an angry person and his neck stiff as if he was nervous.

“Why are your eyes like that?”

And I asked.

“What?”

“I didn’t know you were hurt that badly…, are you okay?”

Only then did I think I knew why Jun-woo, who usually flattered others well in front of them while cursing behind their backs, hadn’t come to Hye-rim noona’s exhibition opening. It wasn’t that he hadn’t come, but that he couldn’t come. The area above his left eye was torn and the flesh was swollen, and half of his face was yellowish.

Even in the midst of all this, I was worried about Tae-rim-ssi. If this guy uploaded a picture on the internet, our Tae-rim-ssi would definitely be called a thug… That was the first thought that came to my mind.

“Hey, Kang Hae-ah. Is there nothing you’re afraid of in this world?”

Jun-woo suddenly shouted at me.

“You’re just a recessive Omega no matter what you do, you arrogant bastard!”

‘Why is he doing this to me?’

I had nothing to say. I could only let out an ambiguous ‘uh…’ towards Jun-woo, who was suddenly shouting.

“Jun-woo, why are you doing this? Calm down, are you drunk?”

“Yeah, I’m drunk. How can I not be drunk? Kang Hae-ah. You seduced me first. Didn’t you? You were the one who wagged your tail, talking about traits and saying you’d become an Omega soon!”

“I think you’ve misunderstood something. Get a grip.”

There was probably no more exhausting battle than seriously listening to what a drunk person had to say. I already knew this from experiencing similar situations with Il-hae hyung several times. It was easier to dismiss drunkenness as drunkenness, and the curses spewed out in a fit of emotion as not being genuine.

I patted Jun-woo on the shoulder. I was planning to give him some settlement money. Should we go out and talk? That was usually enough to solve most problems.

“Kang Hae-ah, you’re the one who needs to get a grip. Do you think Cheon Tae-rim married you because he likes you? He’s just sticking around because of the money. It’s a political marriage anyway.”

But Jun-woo crossed the line.

“You haven’t even knotted yet, have you? There’s no way he’d knot with a recessive, ha… You’re lucky if a Dominant like him even gets aroused by you?”

I was speechless at the attack with ‘Cheon Tae-rim’ as the subject. Was this what it felt like to be hit with words? The moment I had the self-deprecating thought that we hadn’t even had sex yet, let alone knotting, I was defeated.

‘Wow….’

Only the echoes of meaningless exclamations floated around in my head.

These words should not have been thrown in the face of the twenty-six-year-old Kang Hae-ah. Such vulgar insults and attacks were impossible for me. It wasn’t Il-hae hyung, and it wasn’t Tae-rim-ssi, but someone else, an outsider to my world, shouldn’t be pointing fingers and looking down on me. Even the current me was not immune to this.

‘Something’s wrong.’

That thought suddenly came to me, and

“The one who knots first is the husband to an Omega. Isn’t that right?”

Jun-woo pushed me. In the daze, my back hit the stall wall. It felt like I was already bruised all over.

‘It hurts….’

I held back the groan that was about to come out and smiled. Then I gathered Jun-woo’s two hands and wrapped them with my own. I held them affectionately and patted the back of his hands.

“Jun-woo, were you upset because you were kicked out of the gallery? …Is that why you’re angry at me?”

And he said, doing his best to sound as gentle as possible.

“But your paintings, they’re always about sex or dicks… and there’s no real plot or concept…. It’s not necessarily bad, but they don’t sell. You’re going to have to change it soon anyway. You felt the crisis too, didn’t you? It might be a good thing you were left out of the group exhibition today.”

“What? What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m saying, even if you had exhibited it, wouldn’t it have just been a dark chapter in your history?”

Jun-woo just stared blankly at my face as I calmly told him all this. I leaned closer to his face, which reeked of alcohol.

“Okay, let’s say everything you’re saying, Jun-woo, is right. Yeah. I went to study abroad with money and became a painter. But, um… that has nothing to do with how you’re treating me right now, you know?”

When he pushed me into a confined space, thinking he was an Alpha, Jun-woo didn’t expect me to react like this. He probably thought that as a recessive Omega who’d been pampered in a good family, a few spanks and a bit of his body scent would make me cave.

It was funny that Jun-woo had actually planned and carried out such a thing, even if he was emboldened by alcohol. It made me laugh.

“Jun-woo, do you remember why we became friends?”

As for Kang Hae-ah, he was born with a silver spoon but grew up in a cutthroat family. He grew up using his sisters’ coldness and his Hyung’s venting as fertilizer.

“I lowered my standards by a hundred notches, and your ancestors helped you out, so we became graduate school alumni, right? This… you’re the one who said that? You’re usually very objective and rational. So, let’s think about it like you would, huh? You shouldn’t… act like this towards me right now.”

The thought of the betrayal Jun-woo must be feeling made my mouth water. It meant my acting was that perfect, so I even felt a little proud.

Unless I was stripped naked and beaten to a pulp with a baseball bat, I wasn’t so fragile that a few mean words and some sexual harassment would make me break down in tears. So what if I’m a recessive Omega, and so what if Tae-rim-ssi doesn’t give me a knotting, a person’s worth isn’t just about being a sexual tool.

Even if it were, I was extremely satisfied and happy just by the fact that Tae-rim-ssi didn’t avoid me.

Hiccup… Jun-woo hiccuped. My face contorted at the breath that came out with a burp.

“Your body scent is really…”

I pushed the weakened Jun-woo away with both hands and lifted the toilet seat. Then, I threw up the few sips of beet juice I had earlier and the bit of bagel I had for breakfast.

“Ugh…”

With a couple of coughs, I threw up everything inside me. Since I hadn’t eaten much, it came out with saliva-mixed stomach acid. My mouth was bitter, and my throat hurt. Now, the smell of my vomit was more disgusting than Jun-woo’s body scent.

Jun-woo just stared at me like I was an alien as I gestured for some tissue. I sighed as I looked at the dumbfounded guy who couldn’t even hand me a tissue. I had to pull out two tissues myself and wipe under my lips.

As I did, my gaze naturally went down, towards the center of Jun-woo’s pants.

“……”

The bulge that had been erect just a moment ago was now pathetically deflated. I didn’t feel the need to deal with him anymore, so I just stared at that area for a few seconds before opening the stall door.

After coming out, I rinsed my mouth with water from the sink. I wanted to get out of this space as quickly as possible, but I was afraid that if I moved too hastily, I would reveal my pretense. I acted slowly and calmly, as if I didn’t feel any threat from him, but my fingertips cramped.

Only after I trudged out of the gallery did I realize that my shirt was sticking out of my pants. Then I really laughed. It was a laugh of absurdity and bewilderment.

‘Today’ was supposed to be a peaceful day. Today, which I had already experienced once, was supposed to be a mundane day with no clear memories of what had happened. But now it was different. A day that was too different was passing.

But I wasn’t surprised at all by the change in my situation.

‘Actually, Jun-woo’s personality was always like that, and Kang Hae-ah in front of him was always this kind of person. I was just living with my eyes covered, pretending not to see….’

There was a day when I said, while smoking, that I would probably awaken soon, that my trait test results were Omega. Was it when I was twenty-three or twenty-four…? At that time, Park Jun-woo gave me a very ambiguous look. He looked at me from head to toe with a wriggling gaze, then took out a lighter to smoke another cigarette. Even though I knew that he and a couple of other classmates would be talking about me, I pretended not to notice and left the smoking room.

So, yeah. Subconsciously, I knew it too. That at twenty-six and thirty-two, Kang Hae-ah had no such thing as a ‘true friend.’ That everyone was kind to me and praised me in front of me, but secretly belittled and ridiculed me.

Still, I didn’t expect it to be this obvious. I never imagined that Jun-woo would act exactly as the most sinister part of my mind had pictured.

I trudged and opened the back door of the gallery, and in the distance, I saw a parked car and Driver Oh, who had come out in advance. Seeing that, my legs gave out. Without the will to stand straight, I just sat down on the stone steps.

Startled, Driver Oh rushed over.

“Ah…, haha….”

I just laughed. I was also annoyed, and belatedly, I was scared. Because I was scared, I got angry.

“I… I need to go home.”

I said like an angry person. Driver Oh reached out his hand towards me as I sat on the stone steps, laughing alone, getting angry, and then sighing again. I refused Driver Oh’s kind hand.

“No, I’ll get up.”

But I didn’t budge. I couldn’t put any strength into my knees. It was as if my lower body had suddenly become paralyzed. Driver Oh looked down at me with a bewildered face as I just sat there, dirtying my pants.

“I need to go home…”

Suddenly, Si Eun-cheol’s words came to mind. Kang Hae-ah-ssi, are you crazy, he had said. It seemed like those words were true. I hugged and kissed Si Eun-cheol, who said hateful things, and I held the hand of a friend who was trying to assault me, comforting him and offering kind advice.

‘Idiot, pushover, moron.’

Maybe Hyung is right. Maybe I really am a pushover and a moron. Even though they’re not my Hyung, and I’m not a six-year-old kid… when I’m attacked and lose my mind, everyone in the world seems like my Hyung, and I just become dazed.

‘What would a normal person have done instead of me?’

I wondered. How do other people endure when they’re scared and having a hard time? How do people who aren’t as strange as me get back on their feet?

Or do they all just force themselves to get up and pretend to be okay, even though their pride is hurt and they’re having a hard time like this?

I ignored Driver Oh’s words twice when he asked if I would be okay without going to the hospital. The kind Driver Oh even apologized to me repeatedly. The culprit was someone else, but I was receiving apologies from the employee, which made me feel even worse.

“No. I’m the one who’s sorry.”

Then, as soon as I arrived home, I sent Driver Oh home. He didn’t leave easily, as if he was concerned about my dirty pants and wrinkled shirt. He kept looking at me from the car door,

“Make sure to take a shower and get some rest.”

He was kind enough to take care of me until the end.

“Okay, okay…”

I trudged into the brightly lit house. The warmth and delicious smell that wafted in as soon as I passed through the front door made me feel a little better. Ok-hye-ssi had already left work, but thanks to the wonderful meal she had prepared, I wasn’t lonely.

I stared blankly at the Post-it note on the table.

「Congratulations on entering your stable period.

I put your favorite chicken dish in the oven,

Please eat it with the CEO when he comes.」

After looking at the wine and salad plates prepared on the table, I went to the oven and squatted down. The chicken was cooking in the warm light.

‘Yeah, this is it.’

I tried to erase Jun-woo’s voice that was swirling in my head. I just left my crumpled pride as it was and closed the lid on it. Whatever, I’m going to have dinner with Tae-rim-ssi.

I was going to tell Tae-rim-ssi the good news with a delicious meal and sweet wine. He would definitely be happy. Tae-rim-ssi, who carries stabilizers in his car’s glove box, worried that his recessive Omega husband might be leaking something somewhere.

I felt good imagining his relieved face.

‘A week from now….’

Exactly a week later, Tae-rim-ssi would have his first rut. Even so, maybe, even if it was a little lacking, I would be able to soothe him with my body. Just imagining Cheon Tae-rim wanting me made my heart warm.

At that moment, I heard the notification sound of the garage door opening. I was about to run to the front door like an excited child, but I stopped. It was because I had thought of an effective way to tell him my news.

It seemed like the most accurate thing to do would be to hide out of Tae-rim-ssi’s sight and call him from behind. That’s how it had been with Tae-rim-ssi so far. The Dominant Alpha hid all of his body scent, but he smelled the scent that I, a recessive Omega, inevitably gave off. So he always knew where I was in this big house.

‘He probably doesn’t know now, right? Because he won’t smell anything from me.’

Looking around, I pondered where to hide. I briefly had the funny thought of going into the closet or under the table, but I was concerned that I wasn’t close enough to Tae-rim-ssi to play such a grand prank.

In the end, I lightly leaned against the corner of the hallway next to the front door. For a moment, I forgot about what had happened in the afternoon, and my heart fluttered like a child’s. I had never played or been subjected to such a prank, even when I was a child.

I heard the sound of Tae-rim-ssi abruptly opening the front door. Then, I felt silence as he stopped walking, and a sense that he was looking around somewhere. Tae-rim-ssi walked down the hallway, one step at a time. As his footsteps got closer and I could see him, I reached out my hand.

“Tae…”

Suddenly, sparks flew in front of my eyes. My vision went black, my back hurt terribly, and I fell to the hallway floor as I heard the scream I let out. I belatedly understood what had happened. Tae-rim-ssi had pushed me, pushed me hard enough to send me flying into the wall….

“…Kang Hae-ah-ssi?”

I saw Tae-rim-ssi’s pale face. Even in the midst of all this,

‘I’m, I’m glad.’

I was relieved that it was because he didn’t recognize me.

His large body fell to the floor with a thud. He had knelt in front of my feet. I felt his hands touching my shoulders in a flustered manner. I could feel it, but I couldn’t get up.

It wasn’t because I had been hit hard. My cheek that had been hit by the edge of his hand and my back that had been slammed into the wall were tingling, but it was nothing. It wasn’t Tae-rim-ssi’s fault. It was my fault for approaching him from behind without any body scent.

The reason I screamed and rolled around was purely, well, just because I was surprised.

“Hae-ah-ssi, are you okay?”

So I was okay. It didn’t hurt so much that I couldn’t stand it, but

“Ah, it hurts….”

A groan came out of my mouth. I couldn’t understand my own tongue, why was I exaggerating? My hands were numb, and my body felt heavy. My legs finally broke down.

I felt him getting up in a flustered manner. My arms trembled like aspen trees and went up over my head. Covering my head like someone preparing for violence, I looked up at him. The eyes that looked down at me in the dark shadow were chillingly cold and indifferent.

Just like the Tae-rim-ssi I used to know….

‘Did you know everything, Kang Hae-ah-ssi?’

It felt like he was asking that, and

“I, I didn’t know, I didn’t know….”

I curled up even more.

“Don’t hit me, don’t hit me. It, it hurts….”

I wanted to bite my tongue the moment my legs slowly spread apart. I was scared and ashamed. His body scent felt threatening, and I was scared because I felt like I was suffocating from his cold gaze, and I was ashamed of my body that was involuntarily spreading my knees.

I felt my pants getting wet. I don’t want to get hit, I don’t want to die… an irrational voice swirled in my head. I was suffocating.

Like someone who had collapsed at the end of a long run, I looked up at him with my legs spread and my knees raised. Tears and saliva quickly soaked my face. My thoughts weren’t working properly.

‘Why are you looking at me like that? I won’t give you a suppressant. Please calm down, it’s me, Kang Hae-ah, Tae-rim-ssi’s husband….’

It felt like several people were inside my head. All sorts of pleas echoed back and forth. I heard tinnitus in my ears. In the midst of my dizziness, I begged and begged again. Don’t be angry, don’t hit me. I’ll do anything for you, you can do whatever you want, just don’t hate me….

“…ssi.”

Because it’s all my fault….

“Kang Hae-ah-ssi!”

Just like me a little.

“Hae-ah.”

‘Cough,’ a choked cough suddenly came out. Startled, I lifted my head and tears fell in drops. First, I saw Tae-rim-ssi’s arms hugging my body. He was supporting my upper body. Only then did I get a good look at his face. He just looked very surprised and even scared.

Anyway, Tae-rim-ssi wasn’t a bad person, either before or now. He wasn’t doing it on purpose, but he was sorry, apologizing and hugging me with a tearful face.

“Come to your senses….”

I felt water pooling between my closed lips. I licked it with my tongue, thinking it was tears, and tasted a metallic smell. It seemed like I had a nosebleed.

“I’m sorry…, I really didn’t know. I smelled an unfamiliar scent, so I thought it was a stranger….”

Tae-rim-ssi’s thick arms were trembling like a frightened bear. He hugged me tightly and repeatedly kissed my head. Only then did the trembling stop and the excitement subside. The voice that blamed me and the gaze that coldly looked down at me had disappeared.

I belatedly became embarrassed. I tried to surprise him, but I got hit and bounced off, and I was babbling nonsense while trembling… I had the name tag of husband with Tae-rim-ssi, but compared to him, I was too pathetic and weak.

“I’m okay.”

I could feel Tae-rim-ssi’s heart beating fast with surprise. I leaned deeply into his arms and wrapped my arms around his thick waist, hugging him back.

“I’m okay…, it’s not Tae-rim-ssi’s fault. I, I stopped by the hospital this morning, and they said that I’m now in a stable period, so I don’t have any body scent. So Tae-rim-ssi, ‘unfamiliar scent’….”

My lips, which were reciting his excuse, went numb. Soon, my throat felt stuffy, and my mind went blue. Tae-rim-ssi’s breathing, with his nose on my shoulder, sounded abnormally loud.

“Hae-ah-ssi.”

He was smelling it, the scent that was coming from me.

“Who did you meet?”

His trembling hands and subdued voice no longer sounded the same as before.

“Who touched you….”

The moment I was about to answer the question, which was uncertain whether it was a question or a conviction, my body was suddenly lifted. I lay down on the table prepared for a wonderful dinner, with my stomach facing up.

Cheon Tae-rim buried his face in my chest. His chest, panting like a beast, surged up and down.

The only thing I realized the moment my mind became hazy was that Cheon Tae-rim had been endlessly indulging me.

The scent that flowed out of him, panting at the unfamiliar Alpha scent, was ferocious. It wasn’t the level of body scent I knew, which made my whole body relax and laugh. My heart was pounding like I had taken drugs, and my throat felt choked. My already trembling body kept getting goosebumps. My shoulders trembled intermittently like a cold person.

As if trying to cover up the scent on my body, Tae-rim-ssi soaked me in his body scent. I felt chilled, as if I had put on his skin. My face turned red, and my lower abdomen tightened.

His head slowly went down from my chest and waist to below my stomach. I heard the sound of his nose touching my groin and inhaling, but I couldn’t even resist, let alone get up.

I tried to scratch the table and run away, but it was no use. Instead, I lost strength and collapsed on my own. Tae-rim-ssi’s black eyes watched me as I floundered like a live fish and knocked my upper body over the table.

I was suffocating.

“Hae-ah-ssi, who hit you?”

Cheon Tae-rim asked. Then he grabbed my pants’ belt. My stiff waist lifted for a moment. Thanks to the belt, the pulled-down pants hung around my hip bones and halfway down my buttocks. I twisted and turned, batting away his hand, but it was already too late. Tae-rim-ssi’s eyes, looking at my reddened buttocks with handprints, were like a demon’s.

“Tae-rim, -ssi, that’s…”

I opened my mouth, wavering, then,

“……”

I forgot what I was going to say.

It was Cheon Tae-rim, whom I had only looked at for six years. There were no two subjects on this earth that I knew as well as Cheon Tae-rim. But today, he was different. When he glared at me with an expression and look I had never seen before, a spark was planted in his darkly sunken eyes.

His hands reached my outer garment in turn. When he pulled me as if grabbing my collar, my shoulders suddenly lifted. I heard the sound of the seams of my denim jacket tearing. Tae-rim-ssi buried his nose in the jacket collar, which had become rags in an instant, and smelled it. Then he completely stripped the jacket off me. Once the outer garment with the unfamiliar scent was thrown off, only my shirt remained.

Forgetting to resist, I only stared at his eyes, which were examining my body. He was checking where the unfamiliar touch had reached my body, whether any scars were left. Suddenly, I felt strangely good. Even though I was trembling like a small animal, crushed by Tae-rim-ssi’s scent, I was happy. Cheon Tae-rim was jealous. He was being wary, checking who had touched me.

As the sickeningly great joy was added to the scent pouring out of Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s body, my legs went weak. A tingling electricity ran through me, and my mind went blank.

“Ah.”

Suddenly, all the strength drained from my body. The tears I had been holding back poured out, and my back was soaked with hot sweat. The moment the shirt button was torn off by Tae-rim-ssi’s hand, I shuddered greatly.

“Ah, no, no…”

Tae-rim-ssi’s gaze, which had been scanning my reddened chest, stopped abruptly. His head slowly turned downwards. A hot, wet sensation began to soak the center of my pants.

I floundered my feet. I kicked aimlessly with my feet, which were vaguely floating in the air outside the table. I tried to hold back, straining and turning my body away, but it was already too late.

Gulp… A sound of scraping vocal cords came from my throat. The pants, which had been pulled down vaguely to just before my genitals were visible, were damp. I could feel the warm liquid running down my calves.

Fortunately, there was no smell.

Drip, drip… I heard the sound of water droplets falling to the floor. In my kitchen, on the marble floor, the water I had peed was dripping, drip, drip. Tae-rim-ssi stared blankly down at my wet pants.

“Cough, cough…”

When I let out the breath I had been holding back, a fit of coughing came out.

“Sniff, d-don’t look…, sob…”

I collapsed on the table and started to cry. A funny sound like ‘boo-hoo’ popped out of my mouth. Could bed-wetting be grounds for divorce? Please, it shouldn’t be. No, I’d rather run away voluntarily. If I bit my tongue and died now, could I start over?

I was too embarrassed to look Tae-rim-ssi in the face.

“Cough, …hic, cough…”

I hugged my head with both arms and hunched my upper body. I decided to act like a stupid bird, just sticking its head in a hole. There was nothing else I could do with my legs that wouldn’t move.

In the silence, only my faint breathing leaked out. My curved toes cramped. Even in the midst of all this, I was shocked that I felt a faint sense of liberation.

My breathing was ragged and tangled from sobbing.

“Kang Hae-ah.”

Under the dark shadow created by my forearm, Tae-rim-ssi’s lower jaw was visible.

“Kang Hae-ah, why…”

And I saw it, his eyes sinking darkly with self-reproach. Hating himself for the moment he was treated like a dirty beast, a fearful villain, by me.

That was exactly the face of the Cheon Tae-rim I knew. I knew the words that such a Cheon Tae-rim would utter. He would ask why I was afraid of him and then find the answer within himself.

“Tae-rim-ssi.”

I quickly reached out my arm. I reached out both arms and hugged his shoulders tightly. Tae-rim-ssi’s body was pressed close between my spread legs. He bent his upper body under the weight of my clinging.

“I-I’m, I’m okay…”

I said in a hoarse voice.

“It’s not because of Tae-rim-ssi.”

Then I put strength into both arms. I kissed his flushed ears wildly. Veins stood out on his forearms as he struggled to keep from crushing me with his weight. I hugged Tae-rim-ssi’s thick body as hard as I could.

“Tae-rim-ssi isn’t a bad person… I-It’s not because I’m scared of Tae-rim-ssi.”

The silent Tae-rim-ssi was like a child as I patted him diligently. The biggest and strongest child in the world. My Tae-rim-ssi, who was now younger than me.

“I’m… okay. Sob, I’m not hurt.”

His breath calmed down at my comfort. As the startled and excited panting subsided, only the temperature of his heated flesh remained.

In the silence, he touched my cheek. I entrusted my head to his hand, which was caressing the flesh under my eyes, my cheeks, and my earlobes. He was between my knees, and I was under his upper body. I liked that.

“Then… who is it?”

Tae-rim-ssi asked in a lowered voice.

“Kang Hae-ah, who did this?”

A hoarse sound was mixed into the question.

“Tell me, who hurt you. I keep waiting, but why are you pretending not to know?”

My insides were charred black by his sunken voice. If he had asked, ‘Who hit you?’, I would have had many excuses to answer. But ‘Who hurt you?’ was a question placed on a different shelf. There was only one person who could hurt me and make me tremble.

It was you, Cheon Tae-rim, you.

You and I hurt each other.

But at the same time, that you was not the you of now. And that me was not the me of now either.

“……”

Silently, I rubbed my cheek against Tae-rim-ssi’s palm. I kissed the tip of his thumb and closed my eyes. Tears that had welled up until my vision blurred fell like rain.

How could I say it? That the you of ten days later, and months later, and years later, had hurt me. That every time I tried to overcome our relationship, the situation twisted. That it was something that wouldn’t happen anymore, that it would be enough if only I pretended not to know and hid it…

At the end of my thoughts,

“Did Park Jun-woo do it?”

That name popped out abruptly.

Without realizing it, my eyes widened first. A sound that was neither a groan nor an exclamation, like ‘uh,’ also leaked out.

“H-How do you know?”

I asked, and,

“I smell it. …Did that bastard hit you?”

Tae-rim-ssi’s eyes sank coldly. It was different from when he had lost his reason. With a straight reason awake, he looked like he was about to beat someone to death right away.

“He just…, just… p-pushed me.”

Without realizing it, I defended Jun-woo. At the words ‘he just pushed me,’ Tae-rim-ssi touched my waist. I glanced down and saw a red, chafed mark on the bare skin he was following.

“And then?”

He asked, and,

“And…”

I wet my dry lips with my tongue.

“Nothing happened. That idiot, in his drunken stupor… scared me, so I got angry, but I couldn’t think of anything at the time… Nothing happened, really.”

What if something happened? An unfamiliar worry filled my head. A new concern took root: what if Cheon Tae-rim hurt someone else because of me?

With complicated feelings, I only touched Tae-rim-ssi’s suit collar. As I stroked it down a couple of times as if soothing an angry wild dog, he sighed.

“I was surprised because I didn’t smell Hae-ah in the house when I opened the door.”

The end of his calm words was wet.

“…Because I smelled another Alpha, I thought something had happened.”

I looked up and stared at his face. His gaping lips felt like a video with mismatched audio and speed.

“I thought it was someone else… That’s why I pushed him.”

At the end of his quiet confession,

“I didn’t know it was Kang Hae-ah.”

A teardrop fell onto my neck.

“Don’t cry, Tae-rim-ssi.”

I hugged his head, which was falling onto my chest. There was no sobbing in Tae-rim-ssi’s crying. He was just crying, reddening his earlobes and neck. I could feel my bare chest getting wet from the tears shed in silence. My heart thumped as his warm breath escaped.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was Kang Hae-ah. I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you…”

Seeing Tae-rim-ssi crying, my tears disappeared completely. I felt like I had finally become an adult.

If anyone had seen me, they would have mocked me terribly. They would have pointed fingers at me, saying that I was acting like an adult even though I had gotten so aroused by his scent that I had wet myself.

But there was no one but us in our house, and,

“I’m sorry too. For keep scaring Tae-rim-ssi.”

I carefully stroked his short hair. I liked the feeling of the soft hair brushing between my fingers. Every time I saw him leaving the house, I wondered how much I wanted to touch this short and soft-looking back of his head.

I even hugged his head with both arms. I repeatedly kissed his temples with throbbing veins and his flushed cheeks.

“Tae-rim-ssi.”

I said, pressing my face against his cheek until my nose was smudged.

“After I shower… should we, today… do it?”

Then I felt Tae-rim-ssi’s neck stiffen. The quiet crying seemed to stop for a moment. He suddenly pulled his body away from my embrace. My body, which had been clinging to him under the pretense of hugging him, fell back onto the table.

“…Let’s do it.”

He repeated my words. It wasn’t a question, but a sound like he was asking even though he knew.

I nodded. I nodded twice and watched his expression, trying not to smile because I might look like a pervert, and trying not to cry so I wouldn’t look too desperate.

“You’re going into rut… aren’t you, Tae-rim-ssi? You’ve been crying and shaking your hands since earlier. We’re married… you should do it with me.”

Tae-rim-ssi’s eyes were shaking back and forth. It was only then that he seemed to realize his condition. Looking back, Tae-rim-ssi hadn’t known much about his condition last time either. Because of the dud called Kang Hae-ah, his biorhythm had broken down to some extent, and he had faced a sudden rut.

But this time it was different. I was an awakened Omega, and I knew his rut in advance, and I was ready to soothe him with my body. Whether it was because of what happened today or because of the stimulation I gave him, it had been brought forward by a week, but it didn’t matter.

As if flustered, he wiped his cheeks. A teardrop hanging from his reddened nose fell onto my chest.

Tae-rim-ssi’s eyes, which were lifting his trembling hand and blankly checking it, were pretty. So I hugged him.

“You don’t like getting shots, Tae-rim-ssi… Just do it with me.”

I really wanted to do that for him.

“I’m Tae-rim-ssi’s Omega.”

Then the strength drained from my arms and legs. It was me who had shouted it out so boldly, but it was me again who was collapsing from his bursting body scent.

“T-Tae-rim-ssi, just calm down a little instead… Ack!”

He hugged my faltering waist tightly. My upper body, which had been trapped on the table, was suddenly lifted over his shoulders.

“Shower, shower! I’m dirty, let me shower a bit… let’s do it after I shower!”

Carrying me, who was floundering, Tae-rim-ssi went up the stairs. Carried like a sacrifice, I frantically scratched his back.

Soon my body was thrown onto the bed. I lay sprawled out and forcibly bent my knees. I couldn’t be embraced by him in such a messy and dirty state. I wasn’t even sure if what I had peed was pee or something else, and I didn’t want to reveal my perverted and messy reality.

But the agonies within me,

“It’s okay.”

Stopped when Tae-rim-ssi threw off his coat.

“I’ll get rid of all the smell on you.”

Well… wouldn’t it be okay? He won’t remember it well because he’s in rut… To be embraced by Tae-rim-ssi, who is so excited, even just once…

Seized by crazy thoughts, I spread my legs.

But regret came as quickly as impulse. It was because the body remembered the fact that affection had erased. How rough his hands were when he grabbed me, how solid the arms and legs that pushed and drove me were, and that occasionally being hit by his arm felt like being hit by a car.

My throat was choked with tension. I couldn’t even swallow my dry saliva. Today, the hand that grabbed my waist and tore off my clothes was definitely rough. But his arms and legs, even if they drove me, didn’t push me away. His thick arm braced next to my head like a pillar.

“……”

Then he stopped breathing silently. When he stopped, everything became quiet, and cool air permeated my hot skin. My hand touched Tae-rim-ssi’s wrist as he struggled not to fall on my body.

The hesitation was not long. I slowly put my hand under his palm.

His hand, clasped together, was like a blanket for my hand. It was much bigger and warmer.

There was no need for kisses, caresses, or foreplay. My body was open for him, and he was erect to the point of looking distressed. I stroked and gripped Tae-rim-ssi’s excited member with my left hand.

At the silent permission, Tae-rim-ssi moved abruptly. He suddenly flipped my body over, and my clasped hands stretched behind my back.

“Ugh.”

Lying face down on the soft sheet, I crawled forward clumsily. I was going to push off the sheet with my knees and lift my buttocks, so that Tae-rim-ssi would be comfortable… The back hole, which I had never thought of as a sexual organ, was already peeking out, unable to hide its expectant expression.

But as if reading my actions as an escape, Tae-rim-ssi let out an impatient groan. He pulled the tightly clasped hand with all his might. As my arm was pulled back, my chest lifted and my waist arched.

“Tae-rim, Tae-rim-ssi, wait…”

As soon as I opened my mouth to soothe him, telling him there was no need to be impatient, I fell face down on the blanket. His big hand grabbed the back of my head and pressed down. My cheek was pressed against the sheet, and saliva smeared on it. His member touched my buttocks, which were lying flat.

In an instant, my vision flared red. My heart was pounding like crazy with anticipation. Precum kept flowing from my genitals, and the same was true of my rear. I could feel Tae-rim-ssi rubbing his member between my slippery buttocks. Saliva kept gathering at the sensation of the hot and heavy flesh.

I wanted him to put it in quickly… As soon as I wished for it, my waist stiffened, and heat rose above my chest.

But Tae-rim-ssi didn’t immediately grant my wish. He endured for a while the rutting Omega, who had finished preparing to accept the Alpha and was even panting. He stared only at my buttocks, with his erect member against it.

I could confidently say that I knew today’s Cheon Tae-rim better than he knew himself. Even the complex question of what the conflict planted in those eyes was as clear as looking at the palm of my hand. He was conflicted about whether he could accept his member.

Flustered, I reached out both hands behind me. I quickly lifted my waist and showed him my buttocks myself.

“I, I can do it…”

I said pleadingly.

“I… I’m good at it. I, I’ve done it before.”

The latter half was half true and half a lie. It was true when I spoke with the mind of a thirty-two-year-old, and it was a lie when I spoke with the body of a twenty-six-year-old.

Tae-rim-ssi’s gaze fixed on my body felt as sharp as an arrow. I kept licking my dry lips and lay face down, pressing my bare chest against the sheet. Whether I got hurt or not, it wasn’t something Tae-rim-ssi needed to worry about. I had finally been able to soothe you, and I didn’t want to take a suppressant shot even on a day like this.

Soon, Tae-rim-ssi’s hand gripped my waist. I was bewildered by the touch that seemed to suppress me from running away.

And I regretted it.

“Ah, ack!”

His member dug into my rear dully and roughly. My muscles became as hot as if they had been burned, and heat rose to the top of my head. I pushed off the sheet with both hands, then frantically hit and pushed Tae-rim-ssi’s chest.

“Aack, w-wait…”

My lower abdomen churned and tensed. My stimulated groin became hot and wet. The damned fluid kept flowing out. My skin stung because of the senses that poured out as if trying to erase the pain, rather than the pain of my waist stiffening.

“Ugh, sob…”

Tae-rim-ssi laid my floundering body flat on the bed and slowly leaned over. His excited breath came to my ear, and the stuffy sensation of filling me deepened.

“Hic…!”

Even while flinching and accepting it, Tae-rim-ssi’s manhood seemed to be getting even bigger. The more the sensation of being stabbed in the rear grew, the more it felt like my organs were being crushed. A slight feeling of nausea washed over me, and then I became ecstatic. It was the moment when the other parts of my body blurred. The only thing that mattered was the excuse to accept him, and my hands and feet were thought to be useless.

Tears seeped into my mouth. Tasting the bitter flavor, I came silently. Semen gushed from the tip of my throbbing cock. My mind went blank, and tears and saliva mixed and flowed down my chin.

Tae-rim-ssi, who had only inserted himself, looked down at me as if watching a spectacle. I saw the fire burning in his dark eyes. The veins and sinews in his arm, which held my waist, bulged. I wanted to kiss his red-hot nape.

But I couldn’t control my body. I was so sore inside that I couldn’t even feel the pain in my spread-open ass. Every time I twitched, heat rushed to my cock and my throat tightened.

“Ugh, ugh…”

Under Tae-rim-ssi, who only watched me without moving, my body moved on its own. At first, I tried to escape, scratching at the sheets, but later, I just kicked my legs uselessly. But the waist held in his hand didn’t budge. I became a dog waving its feet in the air.

“Ugh, sob, ugh…”

Even though Tae-rim-ssi didn’t move, my muscles twitched, wrapping around his cock and squeezing it. A viscous fluid leaked from his cock, which had re-erected. Ashamed that I was the only one like a beast in heat, I covered my bottom with both hands.

My breath grew hot and ragged, and my toes curled.

“Tae, Tae-rim-ssi…”

And I begged.

“Sob, ugh… Please… Please.”

Before I could make the pathetic sound of begging him to fuck me, he moved.

“Ah!”

His cock, filling my hole as if my body would tear, slid back and then thrust in again as if stabbing me. A scream-like sound burst from between my teeth. My head shook and my ass lifted high.

The sound of meat pounding echoed constantly from the junction between him and me. As Tae-rim-ssi pushed, my body dangled and followed, and when he pulled out, it followed again.

“Ah, aah, ugh, ungh…”

Every time he pushed, I shook like a toy. My ass felt burning hot, and my organs felt like they were being kicked. A clear liquid kept flowing between my legs.

He grabbed my waist and lifted me up. Unable to gather my senses, I slammed my face into the sheet.

“Tae, Tae-rim-ssi, this!”

I could only scream, unable to stop him from wielding me as he pleased. Each time my heated moans grew louder, my body crumpled faithfully. My ass lifted so high that my face pushed into the sheet. Hearing the creaking sound of friction, my upper body kept being pushed into the corner.

A squelching, wet sound came from my body.

“Ah, aah, ah… Ugh!”

Not only my asshole but my whole body tingled. I thought that if I was held by an Alpha, I would feel like I was being eaten by him, but it was the opposite. It felt like I had swallowed him, greedily chewing, devouring him not with my stomach but with my bottom.

“Sob…”

Thrusting his cock deep inside me, Tae-rim-ssi pressed his body against mine. Lifting only my unsightly ass, I was completely buried. Heat rushed to my head. The strength drained from my legs, which were barely supporting me on the sheet. But my body didn’t collapse.

Twitch, twitch, my asshole was swallowing Tae-rim-ssi’s cock.

He started moving his waist again, and

“Ah, ugh, sob, please, please, ungh…”

The back of my head banged against the headboard of the bed. It was the result of my body, which had been lying on the edge of the mattress, being pushed and pushed again. But I didn’t feel the pain in my head. My crotch was all hot and my insides were sore, so I couldn’t focus on anything else.

“Hng, ungh…”

I was ashamed of the moans that came out on their own, even in my absent mind. Even when I tried to shut my mouth and endure, the sounds of ‘hng’ and ‘hng’ leaked through my nose.

Trying to escape, I crawled on the floor, but Tae-rim-ssi grabbed me by the scruff of the neck. As he stretched out his left arm, my head was buried in the pillow.

His rough hand struck my ass hard.

“Ah!”

Heat flared through my whole body.

“Sob…”

My startled muscles twitched, tightening around his cock. In quick succession, his big hand struck my buttocks with a smack.

“Aah!”

Tears welled up.

“I, I was wrong…”

Flustered, I frantically covered both sides of my ass with my hands.

“I won’t, I won’t run away… Ah, it hurts.”

When I turned around with a tearful face, Tae-rim-ssi’s eyes were strange. He was definitely looking at me, but on the other hand, he seemed like a blind person.

“Ah.”

Panting like a beast, he moved his waist like a dog. His arms, legs, and cock, everything felt too big. It felt like I was buried under a collapsed building and skewered on a skewer. I could only cry without being able to breathe, and I didn’t have the strength to jump anymore.

Screaming, I tensed my lower abdomen. I had come several times, so I couldn’t get hard anymore, but I felt a pulling sensation in my cock. It felt like electricity was running through me.

“Tae-rim-ssi… I, just a moment…”

Flailing, I brought my knees together and then collapsed. Tae-rim-ssi grabbed my waist as I lay flat on my back and flipped me over. ‘Huh,’ my body flipped over with a hot breath. Tae-rim-ssi pulled my thighs apart, revealing my dirty belly. My calves were hooked over his left shoulder. A slightly folded line appeared in the center of my belly.

“Just a moment…”

Only then did I see my lower abdomen, which was more swollen than usual. When I lowered my hand and touched my belly, I could feel the Alpha inside my organs.

Blankly, I looked up at my belly, Tae-rim-ssi’s swollen chest and flushed shoulders, and then his face in turn. When I opened my mouth and babbled, he bent his waist towards me.

Slowly, the tip of Tae-rim-ssi’s nose touched the tip of my nose. Like a clumsy bird, I rubbed my nose lightly against his. When I lightly pressed down on his lower jaw with my trembling hand, Tae-rim-ssi slowly opened his mouth.

The kiss tasted salty. I didn’t know if it was my tears or his. He sucked on my lips, and I pecked at his upper lip like a bird.

Soon, our breathing became a chaotic mess. A heavy weight poured over my body. Crushed beneath it, I gritted my teeth. Sparks flew in my head.

“Ah, sob, ugh, ugh!”

The bones in my neck stood out. Flailing my arms wildly, I hit and pushed Tae-rim-ssi’s shoulders. With my body folded under his weight, I resisted, trying to stop the movement somehow.

“Ah, please, please, ah, don’t, please, sob, don’t!”

I felt like I was going to come. My cock, which wasn’t even erect, kept feeling like something was going to come out, kept tingling. I was terrified. I’d rather die than be pinned under Tae-rim-ssi and cum naked.

“Please, ah, please…! Don’t, don’t…”

Pressing me down with both arms as I struggled, he shoved his cock into my ass as he pleased.

“Hah, hah…”

A satisfied moan reached my ear, and my waist lifted at the sensation of being forced in. My chest arched back on its own. Tears and saliva mixed and flowed in a mess.

“Ah, no, no…”

A clear, watery substance that I had cum started to splatter on my crying face.

“Ah, sob… Ugh, I, I don’t like it, please, sob…”

The liquid splattered into my mouth, which was open as I begged. I gagged because of it. I coughed, my waist lifted, and my stomach felt heavy. Tae-rim-ssi’s weight, panting like a beast, pressed down on me tightly. My knees were almost touching my chest.

“Hic, hic…”

Even as I flailed my hands in the air, my body shook faithfully. Water kept splattering, and I couldn’t stand it. The water that I cummed, dangling as Tae-rim-ssi fucked me, splattered wildly on my forehead and cheeks.

“Sob…”

I realized now that it wasn’t urine. But that didn’t erase the shame. Covered in the water I had cummed, I started to cry. I hit Tae-rim-ssi’s chest with my hands, pushed him away, and cried sadly.

“Don’t look…, sob, I, I don’t like it, sob, I don’t like this…”

My vision was blurred with tears. I had no sensation in my waist, and my toes were tense. It felt like my insides were being crumpled and twisted as they pleased.

“Ugh…, ugh. Sob, sob…”

I was trapped in Tae-rim-ssi’s arms as he hugged me. His body scent washed over me. Feeling my nose hurt and suffocated, I opened my mouth and tilted my head back. Satisfied moans echoed repeatedly in my ear. Only then did I realize that Tae-rim-ssi had ejaculated inside me. The sensation of fully accepting the Alpha made the hairs on my whole body stand on end.

A tingling sensation made me cry.

In a wet voice,

“Hae-ah…”

Tae-rim-ssi called for me. My name was mixed in with his heated breathing. Sobbing, I tried to suppress my crying. I wanted to silence my voice and hear his voice more clearly.

Cheon Tae-rim likes my body. He’s horny for me and releases his desires with me. Cheon Tae-rim is…

“Ugh, sob…”

Surrounded by stability and affection, I recalled a past sentence. The pretty and plausible words about soul bonding and true mates, I needed those words now.

I felt that my soul was bound to the man named Cheon Tae-rim. It was a one-sided imprinting. I was happy. It was good. I loved and was loving Cheon Tae-rim, my husband and my Alpha.

Past sorrows gathered and overwhelmed me. Swept away by an unknown emotion, I cried and cried again. Resting my face on his arm and held in his arms, I cried sadly, clinging to him like a beast that hadn’t learned to walk.