By Zephyria Yoon Ye-jun’s sphere of life was limited to his home, the beer house where he worked part-time, the student’s house for his tutoring sessions, and school. Even at school, aside from the lecture halls where he attended classes, his breaks were spent going to the convenience store to buy bread. Otherwise, he’d grab a quick, simple meal at his rented room, a five-minute walk from school, and then head to the study hall to study. His beer house shift didn’t end until 2 AM, and his tutoring hours were flexible, so if he didn’t squeeze in study time whenever he could, he wouldn’t have any time to study separately.
Today was no different. He had a major class at 4 PM, and it was just past 2 PM now. He’d already eaten at home, so there was no need to prepare a meal. After class, he could head straight to the beer house and eat there. It was a place with only three part-time staff besides the kitchen lady, who handled serving and dishwashing, but they always made sure the part-time workers ate so much they felt like they’d burst. The owner couple always said that taking care of the students’ meals was their joy.
Yoon Ye-jun planned to use the short break to study in the reading room. It was just as he was about to pick up his bag, which lay neatly beside him, and place it on his lap.
“Ye-jun.”
Yoon Ye-jun turned his head towards the voice. His gaze swept past the window. It was near the College of Social Sciences, known for its particularly beautiful campus. In spring, the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. Delicate pink cherry blossoms were starting to bud on the branches.
It really is spring. It was always after the cherry blossoms had settled in that he truly felt spring had arrived. This is why people go to cherry blossom festivals or flower viewing. He could understand it a little. Though it had nothing to do with him, anyway.
The passing of seasons meant the passing of time. It struck him anew that at 26, he wasn’t even in his final semester, let alone graduated. It felt like just yesterday he’d entered university, and now he was already in his mid-twenties.
Yoon Ye-jun met the gaze of the person who had called him. It was Kim Dong-hoon. They hadn’t taken the same classes before, so how did he know he was here? As Kim Dong-hoon approached with a smirk, Yoon Ye-jun’s frown deepened slightly. That face was clearly one that meant he wanted something.
“Ah, no.”
Yoon Ye-jun replied with an uncharacteristic frown.
“Hey, what do you know before you even ask?”
Kim Dong-hoon shot back immediately. He needed to pack his things and leave quickly. Yoon Ye-jun’s movements became hurried as he shoved textbooks and printouts into his bag.
“Can you get out of your part-time job on Saturday?”
It wasn’t worth listening to. Yoon Ye-jun didn’t even reply.
“Min-ho insists. He said you don’t have to pay. It’s you and me.”
Min-ho was the president of the Media and Information department’s club and a classmate of Yoon Ye-jun and Kim Dong-hoon. While not as close as Kim Dong-hoon, they did hang out together quite a bit. He had worked harder than anyone else at school activities and eventually secured the club president position.
Yoon Ye-jun silently packed his belongings, but Kim Dong-hoon was different.
“Why would he insist we come?”
Yoon Ye-jun made a disgusted face at Kim Dong-hoon’s smirking question. Does he really like being praised for his looks like this? Just as he was thinking this, Kim Dong-hoon added,
“Because we’re handsome…”
“It’s just because the current students aren’t going.”
Yoon Ye-jun zipped up his bag and stood up from the seat, which was attached to the desk. The floor beneath the chair was hard, and the gap between the desk and chair was awkward, digging into his shoulder. But without even thinking to stretch his shoulder, he slung his bag over it. He left the lecture hall and headed towards the elevator. Kim Dong-hoon followed behind, pestering him.
“Hey, just come play with us once. You have to go on a university retreat, right? It’ll all be memories later.”
“Then you can just go by yourself.”
Yoon Ye-jun pressed the elevator button and turned to face Kim Dong-hoon, leaning against the door. He thought he had responded quite firmly, and Kim Dong-hoon seemed to understand, but he wore a rather perplexed expression. As Yoon Ye-jun slowly grasped the meaning of that expression, he narrowed his eyes.
“…Don’t tell me.”
“……”
“You already said I’d go?”
Kim Dong-hoon managed to pull up the corners of his trembling lips and smiled. You’re really annoying. The words rose to the back of his throat, but he held them in.
Kim Dong-hoon often took good care of him, but he also meddled unnecessarily more often than not. Last year, it was Kim Dong-hoon who arranged a meeting with a professor that he didn’t need to attend. The reason was that he needed to return to school, so it would be better to meet the professor once and make an acquaintance. Because of that, he ended up taking on a TA role for a major course he didn’t have to. All it entailed was displaying the class materials on screen before the professor arrived and collecting students’ handwritten assignments, but still.
Kim Dong-hoon, smiling awkwardly, continued,
“Ye-jun, I…”
“……”
“I didn’t think you’d refuse my request after causing such a scene at the bar… I…”
“…Stop talking.”
It was an implied threat. Yoon Ye-jun’s mouth felt dry. He had almost forgotten, but Kim Dong-hoon had stirred it up. No matter how hard he tried, the memory of that day was completely gone. However, from what others said, it seemed he had indeed caused trouble. He had been a bit careless, given that he rarely got drunk.
Sigh… He let out a sigh inwardly. Thinking back, Kim Dong-hoon must have had a hard time that day too. The next morning, contrary to what people around him said about him throwing up, his clothes were neat, and there were no traces left.
Cornered, Yoon Ye-jun avoided Kim Dong-hoon’s gaze. He turned his body completely and checked the elevator indicator panel. It would arrive soon. Kim Dong-hoon stayed close to Yoon Ye-jun, chattering away.
“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to… Ye-jun.”
“Hey…”
“…You’ll go, right?”
After laying out his threat, Kim Dong-hoon now asked cautiously.
Damn alcohol. I’ll never drink again.
Yoon Ye-jun slowly nodded.
“…I’ll ask the boss first, though.”
Ding- The elevator arrived simultaneously. Yoon Ye-jun stepped slightly away from the door and turned his body. This was to allow the person inside to exit comfortably. With a faint mechanical chime, the elevator doors, which had been tightly shut, opened.
“……”
“……”
Ki Young-han was inside the elevator. Their eyes met. They were in the same College of Social Sciences building, and with Political Science and Media & Information, their paths crossed quite often.
Yoon Ye-jun suddenly remembered the day he went hiking with Ki Young-han. Hiking on a weekday was a bit surprising, but it became an opportunity to get closer. Of course, he had completely ignored the message Ki Young-han sent later saying he had a hard time that day. Still, he thought they had become quite close. Yet, after the weekend, Ki Young-han, whom he met again, avoided his gaze as if he were shy. Yoon Ye-jun subtly avoided his own gaze and grabbed Ki Young-han’s arm as he tried to leave.
“Young-han, hello.”
“……”
He was curious how he would react. Though the answer was pretty much predictable.
As Yoon Ye-jun expected, Ki Young-han openly frowned. Seeing his expression, which was not different from his prediction at all, Yoon Ye-jun chuckled slightly, then managed to suppress his smile. Ki Young-han pulled the arm Yoon Ye-jun was holding and escaped his grasp.
“…Don’t greet me.”
Then, without hesitation, he walked past. Kim Dong-hoon muttered lowly, “Wow…”
Yoon Ye-jun got into the elevator that Ki Young-han had just exited. He immediately pressed the button for the first floor. Kim Dong-hoon, who had also gotten on, thinking they would part ways in the elevator, followed. Yoon Ye-jun scanned Kim Dong-hoon up and down. How far are you going to follow? As if reading his mind, Kim Dong-hoon retorted defensively, raising his voice.
“I’m not following you. I’m going to smoke before going up.”
“You didn’t have to say anything since I didn’t ask.”
At that remark, Kim Dong-hoon let out an “Aish.” Checking his reflection in the mirror, Kim Dong-hoon changed the subject.
“But wow, that guy. Aren’t you older than him?”
It was about Ki Young-han. Yoon Ye-jun replied nonchalantly.
“Yeah. But he acts like that with everyone.”
“It must be hard to live in this world with a personality like that.”
“I guess so.”
Yoon Ye-jun replied briefly and then checked the indicator panel. The elevator, which had descended to the first floor, opened its doors. Yoon Ye-jun got out first, and Kim Dong-hoon followed.
Kim Dong-hoon stopped to head towards the smoking area.
“Anyway, Yoon Ye-jun, the retreat is this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, so get off work on those days. Friday is a class with the professor, so I’ll be off. Just figure out Saturday and Sunday.”
“Got it. You’re going.”
“Yeah. Go.”
The two exchanged casual goodbyes and went their separate ways. Yoon Ye-jun also walked straight out of the building without looking anywhere in particular.
Outside the building, Yoon Ye-jun’s steps gradually slowed and then stopped. In front of him was a well-maintained garden.
“Ah…”
He let out a soft exclamation. He had thought there was no way he would go on the retreat, but why was he being dragged along because of that damn alcohol? Frustrated, he tilted his head back and closed his eyes. The weather was considerably warmer than a few weeks ago, but it was still chilly.
Ki Young-han entered the lecture hall and immediately clutched his head as he sat down. He was troubled. He ran his hands through his hair, then tapped his desk with his fingernails, tok, tok. He bit his lip and narrowed his eyes sharply. If he could, he would have buried his head in the desk, but he regretted that he couldn’t.
That ‘hiking’ trip was the problem from the start. Just like climbing up and down the mountain, Ki Young-han’s emotions were also fluctuating. His generally flat life and his emotions, which had always been tangled and maintained a similar tension, were not just fluctuating but twisting arbitrarily.
‘Young-han, hello.’
He thought of Yoon Ye-jun, whom he had just met in the elevator. Can a guy’s voice be that sickeningly sweet? Such thoughts arose, but knowing it was his own delusion, he tried to soothe his dry lips.
Did I go crazy playing couple games for a group project? Annoyed, he squeezed his eyes shut. Should I just commute from my parents’ house for a while? He had a car, so if he just woke up a little earlier than usual, it wouldn’t be a big problem. He felt like he was overthinking things because he was alone.
He didn’t want to admit it. That he had been thinking about Yoon Ye-jun all weekend. The sight of Yoon Ye-jun wet in the rain, the faint scent of fabric softener when he helped him up, the small amount of food that went into his mouth despite his wide opening when eating, the way he rounded his lips while drinking coffee.
It was a lecture hall with quite a few people, but it was quiet. Because of that, Ki Young-han’s restless movements felt even more pronounced.
‘…Don’t greet me.’
There’s a limit to being pathetic. He hadn’t expected to run into him, and especially hadn’t expected Yoon Ye-jun to greet him so sickeningly sweet, so he blurted out a response that was undeniably childish. He wasn’t a shy transfer student, so what was that?
Ki Young-han squeezed his eyes shut, overwhelmed by shame. But he couldn’t say “Hello” to Yoon Ye-jun either. He couldn’t say “Hello, senior,” like he had.
Fuck…
Why is everything so complicated?
He had never calculated or worried about human relationships before, so the current situation was even more confusing.
Ki Young-han finally bit his lip. Frustrated, he looked out the window. The vast campus scenery came into view. Lush green trees and flowers like spilled paint were in place. So unnecessarily pretty. Ki Young-han muttered a baseless complaint and let out a soft sigh.
It would be better if it were at least noisy…
“Yes, noona. Ah, of course. I’ll give the printouts to the professor, right? Yes, please send them to me via email. Yes, goodbye.”
Normally, it was a voice he wouldn’t want to hear, but today it was fine. Ki Young-han quickly turned his head towards the voice coming from behind him. It was his classmate, Lee Yun-hak. As their eyes met, Lee Yun-hak waved in a friendly manner.
He soon hung up the phone and approached Ki Young-han’s seat, placing his bag in the seat in front of him. Out of habit, he always sat in front or behind Ki Young-han because he stubbornly refused to sit next to him. If they sat next to each other, he was restless and would distract him from studying. Anyway, that was how it was.
“Hey, Young-han. You know I’m in student council, right?”
“No.”
“Don’t you know the club presidents from other departments are going on a retreat?”
“How would I know?”
Ki Young-han maintained his usual tone for the unproductive conversation. He was already troubled to death, and this person was talking about useless things. His own thoughts, which just minutes ago had wished for some noise, quickly twisted.
“But you know, Min-jeong noona really likes me.”
Min-jeong was the president of the Political Science and International Relations department’s club. Ki Young-han maintained a bored expression. He had received a message from Min-jeong asking him to come vote on election day and had also been asked in person to vote, but he ignored it.
Ki Young-han remained unfazed even after hearing, “You shouldn’t go into politics.” Who would think of going into politics after majoring in Political Science and International Relations? When he retorted, “So what?”, Min-jeong grabbed the back of her neck, saying, “Why is this guy like this?” It was Lee Yun-hak, his classmate, who calmed her down then.
After that, perhaps because he seemed favorable, he joined the student council belatedly and acted like Min-jeong’s aide. Why is he playing politics so much for just a university student council? Watching that scene, Ki Young-han thought it was good that he hadn’t voted.
“So she asked me to go on the Media and Information retreat together.”
“Go or don’t go.”
Ki Young-han lost interest. Lee Yun-hak continued to chatter despite his gruff reply. Ki Young-han marveled anew at Lee Yun-hak’s personality, which continued to speak calmly even when met with sharp retorts, and fiddled with his Mobile phone. He opened Messenger. He ignored the few messages that had arrived without reading them and browsed through profiles.
Yoon Ye-jun.
“……”
This guy was also from the Media and Information department. He didn’t seem like he would go on the retreat. For one thing, Friday was the day he was supposed to meet, and he always acted busy with part-time jobs and such, so going on a retreat would be contradictory.
Ki Young-han clicked on Yoon Ye-jun’s profile. His Messenger profile picture was a dog. A large, light brown dog. Its legs were thin and skinny. It stood facing the screen with its ears perked up. It wore a worn collar, suggesting it was kept outdoors, and behind it was a simple doghouse. The dog, with its tongue sticking out, was smiling broadly. Could it be called smiling? Ki Young-han, who had never owned a pet and had no intention of owning one, found Yoon Ye-jun’s choice of a dog for his profile picture strange. This is the kind of person who would never be interested in this sort of thing.
Were there other photos? He tapped the photo and swiped to the side. But this was the only one. Ki Young-han, who had been looking at his Mobile phone with a calm expression, resting his chin on his hand, pressed the power button. His own surprised face appeared on the screen. He quickly flipped the Mobile phone over.
Why am I looking at this guy’s Messenger profile picture…
The lecture time passed slowly, while the week flew by quickly.
The class, “Performance and Communication,” was scheduled at the awkward time of Thursday noon, so the class time seemed to arrive in the blink of an eye.
Ki Young-han stood in front of a cafe near the General Education Building. He was going to buy coffee. Given the time, there were quite a few people, but since it was a takeout-only place, his turn came around quickly. Standing at the counter, Ki Young-han naturally placed his order.
“One iced americano, please.”
After quickly paying, while waiting for his coffee, Ki Young-han rested his hand on the counter and looked around.
The square band stuck to his knee felt bothersome as he stood with his legs straight. Among the students milling around in groups, there were no familiar faces. Ki Young-han subtly lowered his hand and looked at his palm. He glanced at the scratches scattered on the lower part of his palm and let out a short sigh.
He thought about why Yoon Ye-jun bothered him and occupied his thoughts. It was probably because he had helped him on the day of the hike. Even though he had bought him a meal and driven him to the front of the school without complaint, a lingering sense of unease remained in his mind.
Yoon Ye-jun had sent him a message asking if he got home safely and saying he had a hard time that day, but Ki Young-han hadn’t replied. Yet, he found himself checking his Mobile phone several times over the weekend. He didn’t know why. After thinking for a long time, he concluded on his own that it was because he hadn’t properly reciprocated the useless kindness called a favor.
Ki Young-han looked at the people entering and exiting the General Education Building and then approached the counter.
“One more iced americano, please.”
He hoped that giving this would alleviate some of his unease. He wanted to believe so.
Yoon Ye-jun always arrived just in time for class to start. Ki Young-han would usually grab a coffee and head into Mugunghwa Hall for class, figuring Yoon Ye-jun would drink it if he just placed it on the seat next to him. He scanned the seats he usually sat in with his eyes. His steps faltered.
“Ah, I didn’t realize you were a junior.”
“Oppa, all my classmates know you.”
Yoon Ye-jun, who had arrived early for once, was chatting away cheerfully. A guy and a girl, who seemed to be in the same group, sat in front of him. Yoon Ye-jun, seemingly unbothered by strangers, chattered on.
‘Must be nice.’
Ki Young-han twitched the bridge of his nose. Seeing the person who could barely speak to him properly in front of him chatting so at ease irked him. He’d bought the coffee for nothing. Who was he doing it for? Muttering sarcastic thoughts to himself, he moved his feet.
“Ahem.”
He deliberately cleared his throat loudly. Yoon Ye-jun turned his head at the sound.
“Young-han, you’re here?”
He was tired of Yoon Ye-jun’s unnecessarily friendly act. Ki Young-han didn’t reply to Yoon Ye-jun’s greeting and sat in the seat next to him.
The girl who had been chatting so easily with Yoon Ye-jun asked Ki Young-han,
“You’re in Political Science, right?”
“Why do you ask?”
Ki Young-han replied as curtly as he could. He sat as crookedly as possible, looking up with his eyes wide. While he could tolerate Yoon Ye-jun talking to him, he didn’t particularly like the way he acted friendly towards him too. He noticed the girl’s embarrassed face at his sharp reply but paid it no mind.
Yoon Ye-jun glanced at Ki Young-han, then looked away. Ki Young-han felt Yoon Ye-jun’s gaze on him but didn’t react. Instead, he pushed one of the cups he was holding towards him as if shoving it.
“…This.”
“What is this?”
“Can’t you tell by looking?”
Water droplets had formed on the plastic takeout cup. Ki Young-han looked at Yoon Ye-jun’s bewildered face and suddenly felt thirsty. He picked up the cup in front of him and put the straw in his mouth. He sucked up the coffee, so cold it made his head ache, and then set the cup down silently.
Fuck… It wasn’t even hot outside, so why did he feel so suffocated? Ki Young-han barely swallowed the breath rising up his throat.
Yoon Ye-jun, who had been staring at the cup for a while, cautiously began,
“…Thanks. I’ll drink it.”
I didn’t buy this to hear that. Ki Young-han replied, “Yeah, well…,” and turned his head away.
“The moment a person falls in love at first sight or feels attraction towards someone else is determined within a rapid 15 seconds, or at most, around 2 minutes. The progression from simple attraction to desiring sexual contact happens in stages. Even if you feel the desire for sexual contact the moment you see someone, it can be considered that the sequence of attraction, immersion, and desire has occurred in a very short period.”
Emotions, because they are invisible, are hard to believe. Yet, without emotions, so many things in the world would be too unrealistic, making them, on the other hand, the closest things to reality.
<15 seconds ~ 2 minutes>
Ki Young-han underlined the words on the printed material. Professors who loved numbers and statistics more than anyone else often gave generous points for including such details in exams.
But even if it was love at first sight, from 15 seconds to 2 minutes? Was that even possible? For Ki Young-han, who had never even had a proper relationship, let alone fallen in love at first sight, it was an unfamiliar timeframe.
Ki Young-han licked his dry lips with his tongue, picked up his cup, and brought it to his mouth. He moistened his mouth with the coffee he sipped up and rolled his eyes to the side. Unconsciously, his gaze drifted to Yoon Ye-jun. Yoon Ye-jun, who had been listening intently to the lecture, had been fiddling with his Mobile phone for some time. The letters ‘ㅋㅋㅋ’ appeared frequently, suggesting he was messaging someone.
When Yoon Ye-jun messaged him, he always kept it brief and grammatically correct, so seeing him like this felt unfamiliar and, for some reason, irritating. It was just the usual. Ki Young-han was always in a bad mood, always sulking, and always full of complaints. He had no particular interest in things that made him happy or joyful.
The class was nearing its end. The professor’s presentation on the screen had only a couple of slides left. Students, exhausted and slumped, were visible here and there.
Ki Young-han nervously flipped through his papers. Then, he pointedly gave Yoon Ye-jun, who was only tapping on his Mobile phone and not concentrating on the lecture, a look.
“Excuse me.”
“…….”
Yoon Ye-jun’s gaze, which had been on his Mobile phone, flickered towards Ki Young-han.
“You keep fiddling with your Mobile phone, and I can’t concentrate on the lecture. Lecture etiquette. Right?”
He muttered, looking Yoon Ye-jun up and down, and Yoon Ye-jun nodded obediently. Ki Young-han read the last message Yoon Ye-jun was typing.
[I’m in class now, so I’ll contact you later.]
[Can you take a call at 6 PM? I’ll call then, so please pick up.]
His thumbs typed relentlessly, yet the content was incredibly affectionate. A call, my ass. Ki Young-han briefly glanced at the professor and continued speaking.
“Why are you calling someone who said they have an afternoon job?”
“…….”
Yoon Ye-jun narrowed his eyes, scanned Ki Young-han, and put down his Mobile phone. He lowered his voice.
“Did you see the content?”
At the hesitant question and the face full of discomfort, Ki Young-han furrowed the space between his eyebrows. What, does he think I’m a stalker?
“Who’s looking at things without permission? I’m not that rude.”
“Then how do you know the content?”
“I have eyes, so I saw it by chance, by chance.”
It’s the same thing, either way.
Yoon Ye-jun didn’t want to argue with the illogical, huffing Ki Young-han any longer. He was in the middle of contacting a student about rescheduling a tutoring session for Saturday. He had mostly finished talking with his mother, so he just needed to finalize the time with the student. Would they be tired if he suggested Sunday evening?
And speaking of which…
Just then, the professor, who was wrapping up the lecture, announced that class was almost over. Yoon Ye-jun gathered the scattered papers and tidied them with sharp taps on the desk. He’d have to organize them again in his notebook when he got home. He glanced at Ki Young-han again. It was time to bring up the main point…
Seeing Ki Young-han’s displeased expression, his lips hesitated to move. As he parted his lips in hesitation, Ki Young-han, timing it perfectly, asked first,
“What time are we meeting tomorrow?”
“That would be…”
“Let’s meet in the afternoon tomorrow. Exams are coming up soon.”
Midterms were starting in just over two weeks. He must be thinking about studying already. Yoon Ye-jun usually reviewed lectures immediately after class, but when it came to exam preparation, he had the same cramming habit as most other university students, studying the week before the exams. Whether he was lucky or favored by professors, his grades were decent.
Yoon Ye-jun cautiously observed the situation. The lecture hall, filled with silence except for the professor’s voice, became noisy. Even though it had only been about a month since the class started, the students had become quite friendly with each other. But this corner remained in a cold war.
He thought they had become closer after the hiking trip, but they were still back at square one. Ki Young-han was always prickly, and his tone was rude. The thought of having to yield to him again felt a bit unfair, but Yoon Ye-jun cautiously began,
“I’m going on a retreat… Friday, Saturday, Sunday.”
“Retreat?”
At the repeated question, Yoon Ye-jun slowly nodded.
“Ah—you said you didn’t have time because of your part-time job, and you pestered and begged someone with a free Friday to come…”
It wasn’t quite like that…
If Ki Young-han hadn’t been so difficult, Yoon Ye-jun wouldn’t have minded meeting during the week after the weekend. He was the one who had rushed to set the date for Friday, and now he was making excuses for himself.
“And you’re going on the retreat?”
“No, Young-han.”
Yoon Ye-jun’s mouth felt dry, so he soothed it with the coffee Ki Young-han had personally bought him. He put the straw between his lips and sucked up the coffee, gathered in a circle. The coffee, with its melted ice and lingering coolness, traveled up the thin straw. While he felt calmer, Ki Young-han’s face turned red.
“Don’t drink coffee while I’m talking to you.”
“…….”
What is wrong with this guy’s personality?
“Then, weekends or weekdays…”
“What time do you go to your part-time job today?”
“It starts at seven.”
“Since the professor is finishing early, class ends around five. Let’s meet then.”
If they met at five, there was about a two-hour gap from now. His plan to rest at home before going to his part-time job was shattered by Ki Young-han. As Yoon Ye-jun licked his lips nervously, Ki Young-han suddenly glared at him.
Is that really something to get so angry about? Heat slowly simmered in his head. There had to be a limit to how much one could endure. Ki Young-han, who had never endured anything, seemed oblivious.
“Anyway, I’m going to class. Let’s talk. Via KakaoTalk.”
Having finished speaking, Ki Young-han abruptly stood up. He then gathered his own cup and Yoon Ye-jun’s cup, which wasn’t even half empty, and headed for the back door of the lecture hall. Yoon Ye-jun followed his retreating figure with a look of exasperation.
Ki Young-han threw both cups into the trash can behind the lecture hall. Even from his back, it was clear he was fuming. Yoon Ye-jun had no idea why he was acting like this. A personality disorder, he concluded.
The only sounds were the rustling of pages and the soft scratching of something being written. Yoon Ye-jun was spending time at the central library.
People were doing the most they could in the library: sleeping, reading, studying, fiddling with their Mobile phones.
Yoon Ye-jun had finished organizing his notes an hour ago and had taken out a book from the literature section to read. He had brought it thinking it was a mystery novel that would help pass the time, but it turned out to be surprisingly profound and, ultimately, boring. It was a weekday afternoon, 4 PM. A novel perfect for falling asleep.
He turned another page but couldn’t read any further. As he hesitated, wondering if he should just close it, his gaze shifted to his Mobile phone lying on the desk.
The Mobile phone screen lit up with a pop-up window. Yoon Ye-jun put down the book he was holding and picked up his phone. It was a message from Ki Young-han.
Political Science Department, Ki Young-han
Where are you?
4:07 PM
You tell me not to use my phone during class, but you’re doing it yourself.
Yoon Ye-jun pouted his lips and typed with only his thumb.
Me
Library. 3rd floor, reading area.
4:08 PM
Contact me when class is over. I’ll come down.
4:08 PM
Yoon Ye-jun, who sent only the essential information, swayed his body back and forth slightly. He exhaled a long breath through his nose and flipped his Mobile phone over. He didn’t know if Ki Young-han would reply, but he had said what he needed to say, so it didn’t matter much.
Should I take a break?
Yoon Ye-jun stretched his fingers on the desk, opening them wide and then clenching them into fists, and slowly bent his upper body forward. Normally, he would be on his bed in his rented room at this hour. He didn’t know why he was sitting upright in the library. It was all because of the capricious Ki Young-han.
He rested his cheek on the desk and blinked, looking out the window. As expected, the moment he lay down, his eyelids grew heavy. He couldn’t fight the encroaching sleep and slowly closed and opened his eyes.
Just a moment.
If I sleep for just a little while and then wake up, it’ll be fine…
His heavy eyelids slowly began to close.
* * *
Ki Young-han was restless throughout the entire class. Lee Yun-hak sat in front of him. He frowned, turned his head, and looked back at Ki Young-han, who was being disruptive.
“Young-han, just stay still.”
Ki Young-han glared. Already annoyed to death, he was provoked by the person in front of him, and his expression immediately hardened. With a rough movement, he flipped his Mobile phone, which he had placed face down on the desk, back to its original position. There were no new messages.
Me
When does class end that you’re at the library.
4:10 PM
?
4:23 PM
Yoon Ye-jun didn’t even check the message, let alone reply. Could someone really have this little manners? If you make plans, shouldn’t you be in constant contact until then? But he wasn’t even checking. He scoffed in disbelief, then licked his lips.
Ki Young-han was the one who was usually uncommunicative. He only exchanged messages for specific purposes, so his acquaintances had all gotten used to it. But the problem extended to his romantic relationships as well.
He was dumped by his most recent girlfriend during a phone call. She had yelled at him, asking if his Mobile phone was just for show and to go eat it if he was going to be like that. He had argued back childishly, asking what he would eat with a Mobile phone and what era she was from to be talking about eating candy, and that’s how he was dumped.
To him, a Mobile phone had been a useless object.
Furthermore, contact and messaging were completely pointless…
Or so he had believed…
Me
It’s almost over.
4:47 PM
Ki Young-han, swallowing his pride, sent Yoon Ye-jun another message. However, Yoon Ye-jun did not reply until class ended.
Ki Young-han, who checked his Mobile phone about once every two minutes, gnashed his teeth, swallowing his churning emotions. As the professor announced that class was over and asked students who arrived late to come to the front for attendance, Ki Young-han quickly stood up.
He walked towards the back door of the lecture hall as if running. He thought he needed to give Yoon Ye-jun a piece of his mind. How could he text back and forth so quickly during a class on communication and relationships, telling him to pick up the phone, and then ignore his own messages? What country’s law allowed that? Was his Mobile phone just for show, to be eaten like candy? The sentences poured out of his throat.
“Hey, Young-han!”
As he was about to leave the lecture hall, Lee Yun-hak poked his head out the door and called out something. Ki Young-han, who was in a hurry, yelled back at Lee Yun-hak, who kept trying to talk to him, “You deal with it, you bastard,” adding an unnecessary curse before leaving.
He drove his car, parked in the Social Sciences building, to the central library, parked the car, and immediately entered the building. He began searching the third floor. He had made a firm decision to confront Yoon Ye-jun the moment he saw him and searched every corner of the third floor of the library. Ki Young-han had a persistent streak. He felt more at ease believing that.
It wasn’t a reading room, and it was during class hours, so there weren’t many people on the third floor. Scanning the densely packed, maze-like bookshelves, Ki Young-han searched every place a person might be sitting and stopped when he saw a silhouette through a gap between the bookshelves.
He slowly walked towards it. He felt strangely thirsty. A subtle tension gathered in his palms. Yoon Ye-jun was alone at a desk meant for six people. He had his head buried in the desk, his back to the window.
One side of his soft-looking cheek was pressed into the desk, and his plump lips protruded poutingly. A small mole under his eye remained in its place, and his long eyelashes lay neatly arranged.
“…….”
For a moment, Ki Young-han forgot to breathe and gazed at Yoon Ye-jun.
‘The moment a person falls in love at first sight or feels attraction towards someone else is determined within a rapid 15 seconds, or at most, around 2 minutes. The progression from simple attraction to desiring sexual contact happens in stages. Even if you feel the desire for sexual contact the moment you see someone, it can be considered that the sequence of attraction, immersion, and desire has occurred in a very short period.’
The professor’s words from just a few hours ago echoed in his mind. The voice, like shards of glass, pierced his thoughts. 15 seconds at the earliest, 2 minutes at the longest. Ki Young-han meticulously examined Yoon Ye-jun’s sleeping face once more. His cheek, his eyelashes, the rounded tip of his nose. His gaze, which traced a circle, finally landed on Yoon Ye-jun’s lips.
Yoon Ye-jun’s pink lips were quite dark and plump. The Cupid’s bow on his upper lip was sharply defined, and the corners of his mouth were turned down. He was sleeping so deeply that he didn’t wake up even when Ki Young-han stared at him and made a rustling sound. Watching him, Ki Young-han would briefly avert his gaze in surprise when Yoon Ye-jun’s lips twitched in his sleep, then shift his eyes back to his lips.
‘Even if you feel the desire for sexual contact the moment you see someone, it can be considered that the sequence of attraction, immersion, and desire has occurred in a very short period.’
I don’t know about liking, but there was enough immersion and desire.
Ki Young-han, for the first time in his life, had a strange fantasy he hadn’t even had during puberty. I want to kiss him. The guy in front of me. I want to kiss that bastard who has all the same parts. I want to suck on those plump lips just once. As soon as that thought crossed his mind, he slapped his own cheek without hesitation.
Slap! At the sound, Yoon Ye-jun, who had been asleep, lifted his eyelids heavy with sleep. His eyes, still hazy from sleep, slowly widened. He sat up in surprise, checking the time on his mobile phone. It was past 5 AM. Shit. Convinced that Ki Young-han would be furious, he forced an awkward smile and met Ki Young-han’s gaze.
“Did you come looking for me because I wasn’t answering?”
His small, moving lips were particularly noticeable. Ki Young-han tilted his head slightly. He bit his lip, then touched his gums with his tongue. He wanted to nod and retort, but the guilt from his own perverted fantasy left him speechless, which was a shame.
Ki Young-han had a terrible dream. A dream he couldn’t comprehend with his common sense. No matter how much dreams are a product of the subconscious, he felt a sense of guilt just for harboring such a subconscious.
Though he couldn’t say he had lived a long life, he had lived a solid heterosexual life, thanks to his unblemished appearance, a wealthy family background with no shortages, and loving parents.
In the middle, his younger brother, like an unexpected obstacle, had cried buckets of tears, whimpered, and slapped his head, claiming he was dating a guy, but Ki Young-han had tried not to care.
His younger brother, who had always been particularly frail, still occupied his thoughts, but he had grown up a lot. Therefore, he tried to draw a line, thinking his brother’s life was his brother’s life, and his own life was his own. Of course, it wasn’t easy.
But then…
But then…
‘Young-han.’
Yoon Ye-jun appeared in his dream. He was dressed neatly, just as he usually wore. It would have been fine if they had gotten into a fistfight. However, in the dream, he found himself scrutinizing Yoon Ye-jun, just as he had meticulously examined his face while he slept in the library the day before.
His unsmiling eyes were quite cold, and though his eyes slanted upwards, they didn’t feel fierce. The mole dotted under his eye and his rounded nose. As he took in each feature, his gaze shifted to his lips, which were dark and curved into a smile. And at the same time, Yoon Ye-jun smiled.
‘Why do you keep looking at my lips?’
Ki Young-han, flustered, averted his gaze. Yoon Ye-jun chuckled softly. Hahaha. His concise voice made Ki Young-han tense up. He had been caught peeking, so there was nothing he could do. Unable to say anything, he soothed his dry lips with his tongue. Yoon Ye-jun, standing a couple of steps away, slowly approached. Then, he placed his hand over Ki Young-han’s.
‘Young-han.’
The voice asking the question was suggestive, like something out of an adult film he had never seen. His fingertips tingled as if electricity were flowing through them.
‘Do you want to kiss me?’
Ki Young-han couldn’t answer in the end. Instead, he woke up gasping for breath, like from a nightmare. He pushed himself up, placing a hand on his chest. Thump, thump… His heart pounded rapidly. His mouth was parched. He squeezed his eyes shut and lay back down.
“Die…”
He cursed himself and covered his eyes with the back of his arm. It was a terrible dream. Why was this happening? Was this normal? Could one feel sexual desire for someone of the same sex? But he had never felt that way about anyone else before.
Could he feel such emotions for someone who wasn’t an animal, with whom he had only spoken a few times, who had smelled good when he helped him, wet from the rain, and who, despite shivering from the cold, had acted maturely? They hadn’t even gotten along before, and he had even cursed at him. He had thrown away all the clothes he used to wear because of that person. And now, suddenly, that person was acting purely friendly?
Ki Young-han clenched his fists and turned over to lie on his stomach. It was pathetic. He wanted to fall asleep again, but he was afraid of having a similar dream, so he spent time awake.
That’s when it happened.
Ding-dong. The doorbell rang from the living room outside his bedroom. Ki Young-han’s studio apartment was a three-room apartment with a living room. It was originally a property his parents bought for investment, but since it was close to school, Ki Young-han was using it.
Still, it was definitely better than living in a studio apartment. He was neat by nature and cleaned diligently. Moreover, the bigger the house, the less likely it was to get dirty easily. It was because his living space was narrow compared to its size.
Ki Young-han ignored the ringing doorbell. He was already distressed enough; why should he care about whoever was ringing the doorbell so early in the morning? Breathing heavily in frustration, he buried his face in his pillow.
Jee-ing- Jee-jee-ing-
When the doorbell was ignored, the vibration started ringing frantically. Ki Young-han, his face buried in the pillow, slowly sat up. He grabbed his mobile phone, which he had carelessly tossed beside the bed, and looked at it.
“……”
It was his classmate, Lee Yun-hak. Ki Young-han half-closed his heavy eyelids and opened them blearily. He looked at his mobile phone with a disgusted expression and answered the call.
“What.”
-Young-han, you’re not home?
“Was that you ringing the doorbell?”
-Yeah, yeah, I asked you yesterday. About that.
Yesterday? Asked?
Ki Young-han tilted his head. He didn’t remember at all. The only class he shared with Lee Yun-hak was the major course, Security Studies. After that, he had rushed to the central library to catch Yoon Ye-jun. Come to think of it, when he left the lecture hall, Lee Yun-hak seemed to have called out to him and said something.
Ki Young-han tilted his head slightly and checked the time on his mobile phone. 7:47 AM. It wasn’t even 8 AM yet.
-I need to print something, but the printing room at Sagwa is closed right now. Do me a favor and open the door. I promised Min-jeong noona I’d print hers too.
“Why would you do that at my place?”
-Young-han, you know. If I bring the printer from my place… my three younger brothers…
“Ah, seriously.”
Ki Young-han finally got up from his seat with an awkward, clumsy movement. Lee Yun-hak, who lived in the countryside, always made excuses like that, and Ki Young-han half-believed him, half-ignored him. This time, if it were usual, he would have ended the call with “Yeah, handle it yourself.” But he couldn’t today. He felt that being alone would be worse than having company, both physically and mentally.
He slipped on the slippers placed neatly beside his bed and went outside. He passed the inner door and turned the doorknob of the entrance.
“Good morning!”
Lee Yun-hak greeted Ki Young-han with a friendly face, and Ki Young-han returned it with a sour expression.
“I didn’t want to come empty-handed, so I brought some food. You haven’t eaten breakfast, right?”
“Who eats breakfast at this hour?”
Lee Yun-hak went straight to the kitchen without replying. He placed the white plastic bag in his hand on the dining table and took out a plastic container.
It was gukbap sold in front of the school. Ki Young-han couldn’t eat broth with white oil floating on top, but he could eat bean sprout gukbap. Otherwise, he preferred something bright red. Lee Yun-hak, knowing Ki Young-han’s preferences, had brought bean sprout gukbap and what was presumably his own, sundae gukbap. As Lee Yun-hak casually placed the plastic containers on the table, Ki Young-han went to the bathroom and quickly washed his face. Still, it felt wrong to look disheveled when a classmate visited.
“Eat first. I’ll print this and eat later. Uh… Ah, damn. I have to meet at the main gate by 9 AM, but can I submit it before then?”
Lee Yun-hak muttered, hastily taking out his laptop from his bag. Perhaps because he had printed here a couple of times, he was adept at connecting the printer.
Ki Young-han let out a yawn mixed with fatigue and sat down at the dining table with a sleepy face. He took out the plastic-wrapped side dishes, rice, and soup and started eating. He’d sleep more after Lee Yun-hak left. And he had to go to his parents’ house in the evening. It was a perk of having a free Friday.
“But the Department of Journalism and Broadcasting really has strong ties between seniors and juniors.”
Lee Yun-hak said something unprompted. Ki Young-han didn’t reply. He soothed his mouth with water. Journalism? Journalism and Broadcasting? Yoon Ye-jun?
‘Do you want to kiss me?’
Yoon Ye-jun’s voice from the dream was as vivid as if he had heard it in reality. Ki Young-han squeezed his eyes shut. He swallowed the soup instead of sighing. It was bland and spicy, as students usually ate it for a hangover cure.
“The alumni seem to take good care of them. They even come for retreats sometimes.”
“They have nothing better to do, do they? Are they all unemployed?”
Ki Young-han mumbled as he ate the soup. Why was it so spicy? He soothed his slightly tipsy mouth with water. But wouldn’t it be better for him to print it the day before instead of buying food? That thought suddenly occurred to him. Eating and doing something else, a two-birds-one-stone situation? He tilted his head, then organized his thoughts and focused on his meal.
Lee Yun-hak, who had printed nearly twenty pages, didn’t just eat and leave; he stayed and chatted for a long time. Full of pride as a student council member, he talked at length about the purpose of the student council, which held the chaotic university together, even though Ki Young-han didn’t ask and politely asked him to stop. Then, as 9 AM approached, he rushed out in a hurry.
As the noisy voice disappeared, silence finally filled the house. But the stillness felt not awkward, but rather comfortable. It was indeed better to be alone.
He sorted the trash from the finished meal for recycling and went back to his bedroom to shower. While rummaging through his closet for underwear, his mobile phone, which he had thrown on the bed, vibrated. Did Lee Yun-hak forget something again? He was always so clumsy, which often led to Ki Young-han being bothered. He usually ignored most of it.
However, the sender of the message was not Lee Yun-hak.
Ki Young-hyun
Hyung…
8:49 AM
I’m just curious, so I’m asking
8:49 AM
Is the March mock exam score your final exam score?
8:50 AM
If I’m a 3rd grader now, can I get a 1st grader on the actual exam? The percentile is closer to 2nd grader… if I study hard
8:52 AM
Ki Young-han typed on the keypad with a slight frown.
Did
your grades drop?
9:03 AM
Ki Young-han replied briefly and tossed his mobile phone onto the bed. He wouldn’t get a reply for a while. Ki Young-hyun wasn’t the type to play with his phone during class. Did his grades really drop? He must have been desperate to contact him, which made Ki Young-han a little concerned.
He wasn’t so foolish as to neglect his studies because he was dating. Ki Young-han, pretending to think deeply, then grabbed the clothes in his hand and turned away. It would be a relief if he didn’t get hit on the head for worrying too much.
After showering and feeling refreshed, he lay back down on the bed. Lying stretched out on the bed, he blinked, staring at the ceiling. Various random thoughts swirled in his mind. He recalled the dream he had. Although he hadn’t even kissed Yoon Ye-jun in the dream, he felt guilty, as if he had had a wet dream.
No, the very act of having such a dream filled him with a strange sense of sin. What on earth was going on? Wasn’t the reason Yoon Ye-jun kept bothering him because he hadn’t reciprocated his favor? Was he feeling lust for that man?
…But he was clearly frustrating and annoying.
Ki Young-han, maintaining his uncreased brow, rolled over on the bed and lay on his back again, staring at the ceiling. He finally closed his eyes tightly. Let’s forget about it and just sleep. I’ll sleep a bit more and then study. But what if he appears in my dreams again? Will I wake up unable to say anything this time? An unknown tension gripped him.
As a senior student who didn’t participate much in departmental activities, Yoon Ye-jun found the retreat uncomfortable. Freshmen and upperclassmen were all excited. Yoon Ye-jun, who only attended classes diligently or, at most, shared drinks with classmates, found the buoyant atmosphere awkward. The perfunctory greetings, where freshmen he had never spoken to would bow their heads nervously when their eyes met, were the same.
This retreat had an unusually large number of seniors, perhaps like him, dragged along, or perhaps with ulterior motives. At first, Yoon Ye-jun, who had difficulty adapting, felt slightly more at ease as he started talking to familiar faces and was introduced to others.
The students in his retreat group were friendly and didn’t seem uncomfortable with him as a senior. Thanks to them, his mind gradually relaxed. He had decided to take the week off from his part-time job, and although he had to meet a tutoring student on Sunday evening after the retreat, he decided to enjoy the moment since he was already there.
During vacations, Yoon Ye-jun would work various part-time jobs and then have to go home, so he rarely had time to go out and have fun. So, for the first time in a long time, he decided to give himself a 3-day vacation, like when he was a freshman.
He felt like he could rest comfortably. After all, retreats are mainly for freshmen, so no one would care if the upperclassmen danced, sang, or swam in the pool next door.
“Aren’t the freshmen really pretty this year?”
Kim Dong-hoon nudged him in the side and asked. Yoon Ye-jun frowned, uncharacteristically. It didn’t matter to him whether the freshmen were pretty or handsome. If he had to state his preference, he liked older people more than younger ones, and sturdy faces more than childish ones.
No, what was he even doing at his age? It didn’t seem good for a senior to be evaluating freshmen from behind. It was obvious he would act like a great senior in front of them.
“I’m going to start a campus couple this year, no matter what.”
At Kim Dong-hoon’s declaration, Yoon Ye-jun clicked his tongue.
“You should date someone you like, not make a plan like that.”
He chided, and Kim Dong-hoon pouted. Then he passed Yoon Ye-jun and went towards the group of freshmen. The freshmen’s startled reactions to the appearance of seniors were visible even to him, but Kim Dong-hoon seemed oblivious.
What is he doing at his age…
Yoon Ye-jun sighed briefly and shook his head.
The time when the freshmen practiced for the evening’s talent show was free time for the upperclassmen. Some sat around playing hwatu, some played mobile games, and some went to where the freshmen were practicing and gave unsolicited advice.
Yoon Ye-jun, having nothing to do, went for a walk around the pension. There was an unmaintained walking path behind the pension. The path was quite steep, like a hill, and beyond it was a rather large river connected to the stream that circled the pension. He had seen some people already playing in the pension’s swimming pool earlier. He figured not many would come this far.
Still, coming out to a place with a wide, open view and taking a quiet walk made him feel a little more at ease. The place where Yoon Ye-jun lived, while not quite like this, was a bustling town with few tall buildings. He wondered what his grandfather was doing. He considered calling him, but he held back.
If he called first, his grandfather would always worry, thinking he needed money. He had never asked for money, but his grandfather was always anxious. So, he deliberately didn’t contact him often until he went to stay with him for a few days during the vacation. The distance between family members was always ambiguous. When Yoon Ye-jun contacted him, his grandfather would be happy but also anxious, and when he didn’t, he would feel disappointed but also say little, considering no news was good news.
Yoon Ye-jun wasn’t one to be overly sensitive to others’ moods, but he often sensed subtle currents. Some envied him for being perceptive, but it was thanks to his many part-time jobs that he met various people.
The most unique and peculiar person recently…
It was Ki Young-han, after all.
Ki Young-han was sensitive and fussy. Judging by his appearance, he seemed perceptive, but seeing how he paid no attention to his surroundings, he seemed to have zero perceptiveness. Yet, he stood out distinctly to others. Whether it was for good or bad, he didn’t know.
What kind of life had he lived to become like that? He didn’t seem like a bad person. He seemed like the type to subtly take care of others. Just a week ago, when he threw his jumper at him on the way down the mountain, it was like that. However, his words were the opposite. As soon as Ki Young-han opened his mouth, he shattered all the subtle care he had shown. Well, anyway, he was a strange person. He also seemed like someone who just acted out, relying solely on his looks.
Yoon Ye-jun, after briefly thinking of Ki Young-han, looked at the gently unfolding river. It was quiet and desolate. The voices of students laughing and chattering noisily from behind reached him clearly on the wind.
Yoon Ye-jun suddenly remembered the retreat he went on two years ago. “Ye-jun, want to go on the retreat?” he had said yes as if bewitched by the kind words. He thought it was asked only of him. Even at the retreat, he liked how they took better care of him than the freshmen and how he smiled. Though, after that, it had been the worst.
“……”
Yoon Ye-jun suddenly shook his head. He didn’t usually think about it, but it came to mind whenever he participated in department activities. He hadn’t wanted to participate in department activities for this reason, but what could he do now that he was already here? Still, now that he was here, he hoped it would pass peacefully without any incidents. He wanted to spend the three days and two nights without any trouble.
The loud rock music felt like it was tearing at his eardrums. Ki Young-han’s brow furrowed. He irritably opened his eyes, which had been peacefully closed. He didn’t know where the sound was coming from, but it was incredibly close.
“What the hell….”
He muttered in a low voice, half-asleep. Was there some kind of event happening? He got up, intending to call the police, and went out to the living room. The sound grew louder. The television was off, and he looked around with an annoyed expression. Then his gaze fell on the dining table.
“……”
♩! ♩! ♩!
The mobile phone shaking and making loud noises was not his. Ki Young-han didn’t need to think about whose it was. It was Lee Yun-hak, no doubt. This bastard, who said he was going on the retreat, left his mobile phone behind. With a face devoid of emotion, he looked at the mobile phone.
Younger Brother 1
It was unique how Lee Yun-hak always saved numbers. It felt like a secret code only he knew. Ki Young-han frowned, looked at the screen, and then set the mobile phone to silent. The mobile phone, which had been ringing loudly, suddenly went quiet. It felt a bit strange to touch someone else’s mobile phone, but he hated loud noises even more.
He turned to check the time, shifting his gaze to the clock on the wall. It was past 1 o’clock. He had slept for a long time. Perhaps because he hadn’t slept well the night before, he had only intended to take a short nap, but time had already passed significantly.
Ki Young-han stretched his arms upwards as if to stretch his whole body. He extended his fairly well-built body as if stretching. His t-shirt rode up, briefly revealing his abs, but they disappeared as soon as he lowered his arms.
Ki Young-han touched the back of his neck and approached the kitchen. He inserted a capsule into the espresso machine and pressed the button. Whirr. With a loud vibration, dark brown espresso poured into a cup. He rummaged through the freezer for ice, put it in the cup, and poured cold water over the espresso. He took the cup of coffee and entered the room he used only for studying.
Ki Young-han took off his glasses. His eyesight wasn’t bad, but his eyes would get tired from looking at books for long periods, so he had these glasses made to prevent that. He massaged the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. After concentrating for the first time in a while, fatigue and hunger washed over him.
It was a leisurely day. It would have been better if he hadn’t had that absurd dream in the morning. Ki Young-han pushed his chair back and stood up. He took his empty cup and went outside. Should he eat dinner at home? Or should he eat something simple at his rented room and pick up Ki Young-hyun, who got off school after 11, and order something to eat?
He washed the cup, placed it on the shelf, and made plans by himself. He came out to the living room and flopped onto the sofa. Looking out the window, the weather was quite nice. The days had grown longer compared to just a few days ago.
“……”
He rested the back of his head on the armrest and lay down on the sofa. The nice weather didn’t improve his mood, so he just felt so-so. Ki Young-han, who had pursed his lips for a moment, soon got up. He should just go home. He didn’t have much to pack, so as he was about to head for the entrance, he paused at the computer desk.
“Can I leave my mobile phone behind?”
He muttered to himself and lightly pressed the power button on Lee Yun-hak’s mobile phone.
Younger Brother 1 Missed Call 5
Younger Brother 2 Missed Call 2
Mom Missed Call
Messages popped up on the screen.
[Are you busy, brother? Mom said she has something to talk about on the phone. (Hyung, are you busy?) Mom has something to tell you over the phone.It’s about the move.Hey~~ If you see this message, please call me. It’s really urgent!!] (Hyung~~ Call me when you see this, it’s really urgent!!)
It would have been better if he hadn’t seen them, but he had already seen them. A faint wrinkle appeared between his usually smooth eyebrows. Was it urgent? Hesitating, he replied to the most recent message.
[This is Lee Yoon-hak’s friend.] I left my phone at home and went to the MT (membership training).] (This is Lee Yun-hak’s friend. He left his mobile phone at our place and went on the retreat.)
A reply came back immediately.
[Ah…ㅠㅠ It’s urgent, is there a separate place where I can make a call?] (Ah… ㅠㅠ It’s urgent, do you happen to have another number I can call?Ki Young-han’s life motto was to avoid getting involved in other people’s business as much as possible, but he felt he should at least return the favor for the bean sprout soup and rice he’d eaten, so he called the person presumed to be Min-jeong, listed as ‘Boss’ in his recent calls. He intended to ask to speak to Lee Yun-hak, but the call wasn’t answered even after several attempts.
“……”
[They are not answering the phone.] The person who went with me.] (They’re not answering. The person who went with him.)
Having no interest in student council activities and Lee Yun-hak saving phone numbers in such strange ways, Ki Young-han couldn’t find anyone who went on the retreat. While he was hesitating, a call came in. The person with the youthful voice, introducing themselves as Lee Yun-hak’s younger brother, asked if he knew the retreat location, saying it was very urgent.
‘What, did he steal money or something?’
Ki Young-han had so much to say he could feel it in his throat, but he couldn’t lash out like that at the younger sibling of a college acquaintance he’d never even met. Already entangled in a troublesome situation, Ki Young-han considered just hanging up.
“…It’s because of family matters… I really need to get in touch with him somehow right now.”
Lee Yun-hak’s younger sibling on the other end of the line mumbled with a voice that sounded like they were about to cry. Did Lee Yun-hak really run off with the money? Ki Young-han touched his forehead with a troubled expression. Normally, he would have just hung up, but hearing a voice that sounded like his own younger sibling made him feel unexpectedly soft-hearted. Sigh. Finally, a sigh escaped his lips.
“……”
Where am I supposed to find this guy? He wet his dry lips with his tongue. At the same time, a large poster stuck on the Social Sciences building came to mind. The retreat location was definitely written there.
“Excuse me.”
Ki Young-han finally spoke. He hated meddling the most and detested getting involved in other people’s affairs, yet the words came out.
“I just need to deliver this, right?”
The voice, which sounded like it belonged to someone his younger sibling’s age, trembled slightly, and he couldn’t help himself. Anyway, Ki Young-hyun is utterly useless in my life. He made a baseless excuse for doing something so unlike himself.
Looking at the estimated travel time on the navigation, a bitter taste filled his mouth. It took an hour and a half one way. Three hours round trip. He would get home after 9 o’clock. Ki Young-han, without any intention of softening his stern expression, focused on driving.
If there had been traffic, he would have thrown his mobile phone on the roadside and turned the steering wheel, but only the area near the toll gate was congested, and the rest of the road was generally smooth. He didn’t know whether to consider it fortunate or not. Even Ki Young-han, who was driving, couldn’t tell.
As he continued driving without much thought, his face gradually became pale.
He was going to a resort somewhere in Gapyeong to return Lee Yun-hak’s mobile phone. That was where the Media and Information department was having their retreat. The only person he knew from the Media and Information department was Yoon Ye-jun. Today, he had a strange dream about Yoon Ye-jun.
“……”
Will I not see him? How many students are in the Media and Information department? If he had participated in school life, he would have had a rough idea, but Ki Young-han, who had never properly participated, had no clue. He just hoped they wouldn’t run into each other.
It was a resort in name, but it was the deepest pension within an area crowded with pensions. Ki Young-han took his mobile phone and got out of the car. He expected a lot of people since it was a retreat, but there were surprisingly few. A student standing in front of the pension glanced at Ki Young-han. Knowing he wasn’t from the Media and Information department, the student approached and asked.
“What brings you here?”
“I’m looking for someone from the external student council. Lee Yun-hak, a male.”
“Ah… all the department heads are here. Just a moment.”
The student he spoke to was likely from the Media and Information department’s student council. Ki Young-han stood there blankly. The weather was quite chilly. Noisy sounds came from the building the student had entered. As expected, it seemed they were drinking even though the sun hadn’t set yet. Perhaps that was why there was no one outside. He felt like mocking their carefree attitude, but his own fate was too miserable to say anything.
“Young-han!”
Soon, Lee Yun-hak, his face flushed red from drinking, appeared.
“What’s up?”
Yun-hak slipped on slippers much smaller than his feet and came outside. Seeing that, Ki Young-han couldn’t suppress his rising anger. Grind, he scowled and handed over the mobile phone in his hand.
“You should take care of your own phone, why are you making people come all the way here.”
He tried to hold back, but he ended up glaring and muttering.
“Huh…?”
“Hey, check your phone. Your carelessness isn’t just for today.”
As he lowered his voice, Lee Yun-hak frantically searched his mobile phone. “Huh…?” Confusion spread across his face. Then he said, “Just a moment,” to Ki Young-han and disappeared behind the building, making a call. It wasn’t even a moment. Ki Young-han turned to leave, thinking of going home.
A cool breeze gathered in the yard. Cherry blossoms fluttered like snowflakes from the densely planted cherry trees. As Ki Young-han, his expression stern at the unnecessarily beautiful scenery, was about to walk forward.
“…Ki Young-han?”
At the voice from behind, Ki Young-han’s steps halted abruptly. His heart, which had been growing cold with anger towards Yun-hak, began to beat wildly. As if someone was squeezing his heart. Thump, thump, thump, thump…. It felt like he had run 100 meters at full speed. Taking a deep breath, he slowly turned around.
“What are you doing here?”
It was Yoon Ye-jun. He was dressed casually. The zipper of the jersey he was wearing was slightly unzipped. It seemed he was wearing a slightly oversized t-shirt underneath, revealing his neckline and collarbone. Ki Young-han took in the bare sight with his eyes.
Ki Young-han glanced down as if stealing a look, then quickly raised his eyes without even looking at his lips.
“…What about it?”
As Ki Young-han asked what he meant, Yoon Ye-jun, who had approached, reached out his hand. Ki Young-han flinched and stepped back.
“Why, why… are you touching me?”
“No.”
Yoon Ye-jun reached out a little further, touched Ki Young-han’s hair, and then pulled his hand away. When he opened his hand, a cherry blossom lay on his palm.
“It was in your hair.”
After speaking, Yoon Ye-jun laughed to himself. Is he drunk? Is he laughing out of awkwardness? Ki Young-han tried to figure out why he was laughing, but it wasn’t easy. He tilted his head, then finally lowered his gaze.
Just then, Lee Yun-hak, who had finished his phone call, approached.
“You know Ye-jun hyung too, Young-han?”
“Ah… yes. We’re in the same elective class.”
Hyung? Ki Young-han was quite displeased with Lee Yun-hak acting friendly with people without any boundaries.
“Hey, Young-han. Since you came all this way, have a drink and leave tomorrow.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Am I in Media and Information?”
The words slipped out unfiltered, and he met Yoon Ye-jun’s eyes. Ki Young-han became awkward and shut his mouth, but Yoon Ye-jun, who had seen him like this many times, remained unfazed.
“It’s hard to go home. Stay here tonight. I’ll talk to them. It’ll be fine.”
Yoon Ye-jun acted as if he were being kind. Ki Young-han wondered why Yoon Ye-jun was acting like this. Was it because other people were present? Come to think of it, he had been acting like this since the day they went hiking together. In this situation, if he snapped back or said something, he would be the only one to look bad. Of course, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t do it.
Ki Young-han pressed his lips together tightly. Yoon Ye-jun was looking at him, waiting for an answer. Biting his pursed lips hard with his teeth, Ki Young-han finally put his hands in his pockets.
“Just for one night, then…”
It wasn’t because he absolutely couldn’t refuse Yoon Ye-jun’s request. It was just because he wanted to know why Yoon Ye-jun was looking at him like that, with his eyes wide open. He needed to know the reason.
Naturally, Ki Young-han was alone. If someone tried to talk to him, he responded curtly, and if no one spoke to him, he stayed in a corner, picking at food that wasn’t even worth calling snacks. If someone else approached and casually spoke to him, seeing him sitting alone, he would respond harshly and send them away quickly. The same situation repeated itself.
However, Ki Young-han didn’t think much of it whether others came near him or not. He would occasionally glance at Yoon Ye-jun, and if their eyes met, he would drink the beer in front of him. As he sipped his beer alone, a late-blooming sense of loneliness washed over him. Not only Yoon Ye-jun, who had told him to rest because it was late, but even Lee Yun-hak was neglecting him.
After quite some time had passed.
“Young-han.”
Yoon Ye-jun appeared. He was carrying a pack of instant rice, some dakbokkeumtang that looked hastily made, and a few bags of snacks.
“It must be awkward since you don’t know anyone here. Maybe I should have just told you to go home?”
“…What about it?”
Ki Young-han responded sullenly to Yoon Ye-jun, who was setting up a meal in front of him.
“Eat dinner. You said you hadn’t eaten.”
“……”
Ki Young-han picked up his spoon belatedly. He scooped up some rice. The instant rice tasted no different from rice cooked at home after washing the grains. Since he was hungry, he started eating properly, but Yoon Ye-jun was staring at him.
“Is this the first time you’ve seen someone eat? Why are you staring?”
Ki Young-han swallowed the rice he had stuffed into his mouth and replied. As soon as he finished speaking, Yoon Ye-jun stood up. Then he went over to the students. He said something. Did he leave so quickly after just one word?
Ki Young-han wrinkled the bridge of his nose slightly and then stared at Yoon Ye-jun’s retreating back. If he hadn’t drunk any beer, he would have just left, but he had already drunk about half a can of beer, so that wasn’t an option.
To act nonchalant, he scooped another large spoonful of rice into his mouth. The dakbokkeumtang* Yoon Ye-jun brought didn’t seem properly cooked, so he only ate the broth. But suddenly, he felt a presence. Ki Young-han looked up. Yoon Ye-jun, who had left, reappeared with a bottle of soju.
“I’m going to drink here.”
“……”
Yoon Ye-jun thought Ki Young-han was a better option. It was a moment when the gaze of the juniors became burdensome. What were they expecting from an old senior who hadn’t even graduated yet? If he opened his mouth, it would only be about depressing topics like tuition fees or living expenses, so Yoon Ye-jun eventually moved his seat to in front of Ki Young-han. Ki Young-han, at least, didn’t seem to expect anything from anyone.
“…Suit yourself.”
Ki Young-han replied briefly and returned to his meal. Yoon Ye-jun filled the glass in front of him with soju. One glass, two glasses… While drinking, the two of them didn’t exchange a single word.
“Hey! Young-han!”
That was until Lee Yun-hak appeared. Lee Yun-hak, seemingly quite drunk, stumbled and sat down next to Ki Young-han. Ki Young-han cursed him with his eyes. Yoon Ye-jun found the sight amusing and chuckled slightly as he looked at the two of them, but when Ki Young-han glared at him with narrowed eyes, he composed himself.
Lee Yun-hak, who seemed to have emerged from a drunken stupor, spoke to him.
“It would have been a real disaster if it weren’t for you.”
“Why?”
“Well. Our family’s moving funds were in my account…”
Lee Yun-hak rambled on about his family’s financial situation without being asked, and Ki Young-han didn’t listen at all. Yoon Ye-jun nodded slowly as if empathizing with Lee Yun-hak’s story. Lee Yun-hak’s conclusion was simple. Thank you for bringing my mobile phone. Draining his glass of alcohol and rinsing his mouth with water, Yoon Ye-jun said.
“Young-han is actually quite kind.”
“He’s surprisingly genuine. People just don’t know it well…”
“Stop showing off.”
Ki Young-han snapped back irritably at the flattering words. Lee Yun-hak laughed. Ki Young-han’s gaze suddenly fell on Yoon Ye-jun. Yoon Ye-jun’s lips were glistening with alcohol and water.
He pursed his lips and then let them relax. His noticeably plump lips parted slightly, revealing a tongue that protruded a little. Ki Young-han, his mind reeling, briefly looked away and finally met Yoon Ye-jun’s eyes. Yoon Ye-jun smiled brightly. Just as he was about to ask why he was grinning, his mood worsening.
“Hey everyone, the professor and seniors are coming. Be polite!”
When Ki Young-han first arrived, a member of the student council who had brought Lee Yun-hak out announced the notices in a loud voice. It didn’t matter much to Ki Young-han whether professors or seniors showed up. They were people he’d see for a day and then forget, and it wasn’t even his department.
He just wanted to drink like he was now. He felt like he might get a little drunk, but that was fine. It would be good to reach some conclusions about why he was acting this way while having various conversations with Yoon Ye-jun.
However, the other students, excluding himself, became busy.
A member of the student council made space. It was at the opposite end from where the three of them were. At the same time, the pension door opened. Three or four professors who looked like they were on their last legs entered, followed by graduate students who clearly looked like they’d be their lackeys. Up to that point, he could accept it, but a man who was quite tall and looked handsome also came in. He didn’t look like a student.
“……”
Ki Young-han watched the man following them in, then shifted his gaze back to Yoon Ye-jun. He was going to ask why they brought out dakbokkeumtang that wasn’t even cooked properly.
“……”
Ki Young-han hadn’t spent a lot of time with Yoon Ye-jun, but he thought they had seen each other’s dirty laundry. He had seen his contemptuous face, his smiling face, his embarrassed face, and even him vomiting while drunk, but….
His eyes trembling uncontrollably, his gaze darting around in panic. His face was ashen, as if he had seen a ghost.
This was the first time Ki Young-han had seen Yoon Ye-jun look like this. Ki Young-han naturally followed Yoon Ye-jun’s gaze. Where Yoon Ye-jun’s eyes landed was the man he had just assessed as handsome.
Were they not on good terms?
Perhaps. Ki Young-han glanced at the man’s face several times while looking at Yoon Ye-jun’s ashen expression. The way he smiled with a friendly face, as if he were out campaigning, was really unappealing.
Then he looked back at Yoon Ye-jun, who subtly turned his back on the group of professors without drawing attention. He then downed soju one after another. Ki Young-han frowned slightly watching Yoon Ye-jun drink heavily, unlike before, but he wasn’t good enough at drinking to keep up with his pace. To be honest, he was already a little drunk.
“I’m going to go say hello to Min-jeong noona and the professor.”
Lee Yun-hak finished speaking and stood up. Only the two of them remained. Yoon Ye-jun poured himself some water. He breathed shallowly, like someone whose insides were burning. Ki Young-han watched Yoon Ye-jun pour more alcohol and down it, then spoke.
“Drink moderately. You’re going to throw up again.”
Yoon Ye-jun chuckled lightly.
“I’ll drink slowly today, and eat a lot of snacks, so I won’t throw up.”
Ki Young-han looked at the man sitting opposite him with a sullen expression at the calm voice. He certainly wasn’t being confrontational like last time. It’s none of my business, whatever. Ki Young-han also focused on the rest of his meal.
Yoon Ye-jun, who had emptied a bottle of soju by himself in less than 10 minutes, got up. His movements were calm, without any stumbling.
“I’m going to make a phone call for a bit.”
He finished speaking and went outside the building. Ki Young-han was alone again. He stayed put for a moment, then looked again at the flustered man Yoon Ye-jun had encountered earlier. Their eyes met, and the man bowed his head first with a nod. He seemed mature.
Ki Young-han ignored the greeting. He twisted his gaze to look at the soju Yoon Ye-jun hadn’t ordered. He had already had two or three bottles of beer, but he felt like he could have a bit more. Would it be okay if he drank slowly? Although he rarely drank soju alone when he drank by himself, he felt stifled now.
It would be fine as a drink with his meal. He twisted open the cap of the soju bottle.
‘Ye-jun, you like me, right?’
Yoon Ye-jun could not forget the words he heard at the retreat two years ago. He knew he shouldn’t judge people solely by their looks, but his preferences were quite firm, and Kim Jae-ui fit them perfectly. He wasn’t much taller than Yoon Ye-jun, but his face was soft yet appropriately firm. His nose was particularly prominent, and his lips were relatively thin, but his nose made up for everything.
He had been the student council president and took good care of those around him. I, who wasn’t participating in school life under the guise of part-time jobs, had followed Kim Jae-ui discreetly because I liked him. Kim Jae-ui took care of me, who knew no one. But then I heard that at the retreat.
Normally, I would have scrutinized myself multiple times to see where I had been so obvious and said that it wasn’t true, that he was just a senior I liked, but Yoon Ye-jun, liking the sound of Kim Jae-ui asking if he liked him, inadvertently mumbled a vague answer.
From that day on, Yoon Ye-jun was dragged along. Kim Jae-ui would initiate physical contact with Yoon Ye-jun secretly, and they met more often. They always drank together, and even when Yoon Ye-jun had free periods, he would be called out to go to a cafe. However, this was always when it suited Kim Jae-ui’s schedule.
Yoon Ye-jun would skip his part-time job to drink with Kim Jae-ui, and even on days he worked until late at night, he would wake up early in the morning to go to the cafe Kim Jae-ui called him to. But Kim Jae-ui had a girlfriend he had been dating for a long time, and she was studying abroad in the US for a year. He only found that out much later.
He wasn’t just affectionate towards me. Kim Jae-ui was perceptive and approached those who seemed to like him. I found that out. By chance, a very chance encounter, when I saw a classmate crying in Kim Jae-ui’s arms behind the reading room.
Yoon Ye-jun no longer liked Kim Jae-ui. That much was clear. He believed he would never have to see him again. Yet, nearly two years later, when he actually encountered Kim Jae-ui, he found it difficult to stay put as if nothing had happened.
I had clearly distanced myself as cleanly and discreetly as possible. To Kim Jae-ui, I was just someone who passed by. I had lived without dating, feeling sorry for Kim Jae-ui’s girlfriend in America and disgusted with myself.
He walked along the path he had walked earlier that day with a troubled heart. There were students sporadically smoking cigarettes near the pension, but since this place was quite remote, no one was out. Well. Who would come all the way to a retreat to walk down such a narrow path?
Should I just go and greet him casually? Would Kim Jae-ui then smile and accept it as before? Did they have intense physical contact? It didn’t seem like it. Yoon Ye-jun put his hands in his pockets and shivered. It wasn’t just the distress caused by Kim Jae-ui; the weather was chilly.
“Sigh.”
He let out a faint sigh. He would just look at the river and go. The chirping of the night insects sounded peaceful, unlike his state of mind.
While Ki Young-han struggled to finish a bottle of soju alone, Yoon Ye-jun did not appear. Ki Young-han tilted his head in confusion, then rested his head on his shoulder as if lying down.
When will Yoon Ye-jun come…. The thought came to him belatedly. Who was the reason he was stuck in this backwater? If it were only Lee Yun-hak who had kept him here, he would already be at home, bothering Ki Young-hyun.
Who was the reason….
Ki Young-han stroked his chin and looked for the person who wasn’t returning to him. The students’ voices were getting louder as the alcohol took hold. Scanning the interior of the pension, Ki Young-han’s eyes met the man’s again.
That bastard, looking at me like that.
His mood soured for no reason, and he muttered a curse at the stranger before closing and opening his eyes tightly. He was drunk. Quite heavily. His usual limit was one bottle of soju or two cans of beer at most, but today he had downed two cans of beer and a bottle of soju. It was an unavoidable situation.
Min-jeong, who had been fawning over professors from another department, returned to their seats, pulling Lee Yun-hak along.
“Hey, Ki Young-han.”
“……”
Ki Young-han met Min-jeong’s eyes with a hazy gaze. Min-jeong handed him a bottle of water and said,
“You wouldn’t even come if we begged you to come to our department’s retreat, but what are you doing here alone?”
“Did I want to come? You didn’t answer my calls.”
“I called? My mobile phone was in the girls’ room, so I didn’t see it.”
“I went through hell too.”
These were not the people Ki Young-han wanted to talk to. People who would try to appease him by saying, “Since we’re drinking together today, let’s get along from now on,” and try to coax him by saying, “Young-han, Min-jeong noona isn’t doing this with bad intentions.”
Ki Young-han swallowed a sigh and stood up. He had no reason to stay if he didn’t want to talk. Yoon Ye-jun said he was going out for a phone call. So, he must be nearby. He decided to look for Yoon Ye-jun, half out of drunkenness and half out of dissatisfaction with him. He had ended up staying at another department’s retreat where he knew no one because of Yoon Ye-jun, yet Yoon Ye-jun himself had disappeared and wasn’t showing up, which made him feel wronged.
“Hey, where are you going?”
Lee Yun-hak asked. Ki Young-han, holding the water bottle, grabbed the coat he had worn.
“For a call.”
Once outside, he found only students he had never seen before. Ki Young-han scanned their faces meticulously, with an indifferent expression. He even opened the door to the men’s room, wondering if they were making excuses to sleep, but no one was there.
Eventually, Ki Young-han, who had been circling the pension like a fly, accidentally discovered a back path. Did he go this way? If not, he could just come back down. With a careless thought, he started up the hill. Alcohol had given him courage. Normally, he wouldn’t have even glanced at a path where safety wasn’t guaranteed, but perhaps due to the alcohol, he didn’t pay it much mind.
Fortunately, the walking trail was manageable. It was slightly sloped, but perfect for a walking course. He walked leisurely with his hands in his pockets. He seemed quite drunk. His mind was hazy. He walked along the deserted trail and came down to a large river. The stream that flowed around the pension seemed to connect here.
On top of exceeding his usual drinking limit, the unexpected exercise made the alcohol surge. Ki Young-han felt like lying down. His mouth was dry. He moistened his mouth with the water bottle he was holding. His gaze then turned to a rock by the riverbank.
“……”
It wasn’t a large rock. It was only a little lower than his waist, and its shape was flat. On the rock sat a familiar figure. It was Yoon Ye-jun. He sat silently, one leg folded up, the other hanging down, smoking a cigarette. Come to think of it, he used to smoke. They had never smoked together, but he had been smoking even when they first met. Of course, Yoon Ye-jun didn’t know; it was a past memory only Ki Young-han held.
Back then, he thought he was an unappealing person pretending to be good, but now, he didn’t seem entirely like that. Seeing Yoon Ye-jun made him feel stifled and thirsty. Ki Young-han walked towards him without drawing attention. Walking along the riverbank, he approached the rock where Yoon Ye-jun was sitting.
“Ki Young-han, what are you doing here?”
Unlike the heavily drunk Ki Young-han, Yoon Ye-jun’s voice was nonchalant. Contrary to his appearance, Yoon Ye-jun seemed to be a surprisingly good drinker. How much had he drunk on the day he threw up on my clothes? Ki Young-han idly kicked a stone on the ground with the tip of his shoe.
“That’s what I should be asking you.”
Since he couldn’t say he came looking for Yoon Ye-jun, Ki Young-han asked back gruffly. Yoon Ye-jun smiled slightly. Glancing sideways at Yoon Ye-jun’s smile, Ki Young-han quickly shifted his gaze to the calm, unmoving water surface.
“I… I felt stifled. Actually, I don’t know many people here. I just followed my friend because they said to come.”
“Ah.”
“If I feel this way, you must feel even more stifled. You can’t even act out like you do with people around you.”
“What kind of nonsense are you talking about?”
When he retorted to the words that belittled him and picked a fight without picking a fight, Yoon Ye-jun laughed out loud.
“Young-han, you have a strange personality.”
“Why are you picking a fight?”
Yoon Ye-jun pressed his lips together. Ki Young-han couldn’t tell if he was bad or good. Perhaps he was just evaluating him highly because of the occasional human moments he showed, despite his inherently bad personality. It was true that if a person showed nine bad things and one good thing, people would think, “Well, he’s not a bad person after all.” Unlike that, he himself was living in mediocrity. He didn’t want to be remembered as a bad person or a good person.
That was also why he couldn’t say anything to Kim Jae-ui at the time. Once he knew he had a girlfriend, it was natural to end things, and he did, but he couldn’t ask him why he did such a scummy thing. He probably wanted to remain as ordinary seniors and juniors without blushing. He realized that belatedly.
What would Ki Young-han have done? He wouldn’t have gotten involved with a guy in the first place, but if he had, he probably would have called him a crazy bastard and fought him to death. That was what hanging out with Ki Young-han was like.
What kind of relationships had Ki Young-han had? He suddenly wondered.
“Young-han, what was it like when you dated?”
“What do you mean? Are you drunk… asking about pointless things.”
Ki Young-han’s tone was always like this. It was unfortunate, but Yoon Ye-jun was gradually getting used to his characteristic gruff and sullen tone.
“Hahaha, I bet you’ve never had a proper relationship.”
“What are you talking about…”
He wasn’t stung, but Yoon Ye-jun’s sudden question about relationships caught him off guard. It was true that he hadn’t had a proper relationship. But he didn’t want to admit it.
“Have you ever liked someone first?”
“……”
Ki Young-han’s eyes slowly widened. He very slowly turned his head to meet Yoon Ye-jun’s gaze. Yoon Ye-jun’s eyes gradually curved. Ki Young-han quickly shook his head.
“…No.”
He hadn’t before, he didn’t now, and he wouldn’t in the future. Ki Young-han felt a churning in his stomach, as if he were about to vomit. But he knew it wasn’t because of the alcohol.
Yoon Ye-jun muttered to himself, “As expected.” It was a remark that strangely provoked him, but Ki Young-han didn’t reply.
“You don’t even seem to have sexual desire or anything.”
Is he seeing me as some scrap metal?
“If the mood were right, you’d probably say, ‘Ah, why do I have to do this? This feels like shit.’”
Yoon Ye-jun exaggeratedly mimicked Ki Young-han’s tone. Ki Young-han glared at him. Yoon Ye-jun let out a low laugh again. Ki Young-han’s lips, tightly pressed together, twitched. It was the alcohol. Purely the alcohol.
“…I do.”
“Huh?”
“I do. I’m human too.”
Yoon Ye-jun laughed again and lit another cigarette. Ki Young-han watched the small flame flicker beside him. The acrid cigarette smoke enveloped the surroundings. He furtively watched Yoon Ye-jun’s lips, which exhaled smoke in a straight line.
His round lips, holding the cigarette filter and exhaling smoke with his breath, were stimulating. The impulse arose again. Was he this impulsive? Despite his confused mind, Ki Young-han slowly took a step forward.
“……”
“……”
He stood facing Yoon Ye-jun.
“Want one too?”
Yoon Ye-jun, with a cigarette in his mouth, rummaged through his cigarette pack. Ki Young-han’s fingertips trembled slightly. He took the cigarette from Yoon Ye-jun’s lips and transferred it to his own fingers. Yoon Ye-jun tilted his head, showing his suspicion, and his eyes slowly widened.
Ki Young-han immediately lowered his head and placed his lips on Yoon Ye-jun’s. Their lips touched and parted silently.
“Why…”
“…I want to kiss you.”
On the rooftop of a bar where the lights flashed strangely, in the rain-soaked mountains, in the library, in dreams….
Ki Young-han honestly confessed his desire, stimulated by Yoon Ye-jun’s unusually provocative appearance. Although he was aware they had already touched, one time wasn’t enough. Yoon Ye-jun’s lips were soft and yielding, just as they looked. That’s why he wanted more. He didn’t even have the capacity to grasp how he looked or how his voice sounded.
Yoon Ye-jun, without time to compose his surprised feelings, looked at the person facing him with wide eyes. He could smell a faint scent of alcohol from Ki Young-han’s breath. Was he drunk? He didn’t seem to have drunk that much before he got up. He rolled his eyes to assess the situation.
Ki Young-han was doing something uncharacteristic. He lightly brushed his nose against Yoon Ye-jun’s. He moved close again, as if about to kiss him.
“…Wait, just a moment.”
Just before kissing, Yoon Ye-jun turned his head. Ki Young-han grabbed Yoon Ye-jun’s neck and held him in place. He must be really drunk. Yoon Ye-jun, not knowing what to do, just looked at Ki Young-han with a bewildered expression.
“Can’t we kiss?”
Ki Young-han asked again. Usually, he was like a sharp, prickly cat, but drunk, he was like a dog chasing after its owner’s heels. Definitely not a puppy, though.
Yoon Ye-jun’s eyes slowly drifted downward. Faint ripples formed on the river, following the sandbar. They weren’t as rough as waves coming in from the sea. The ripples made a soft sound as they reached the round stones. And from a distance, from the pension that was at least a five-minute walk away, the students’ voices seeped in along the walking path. Because there was nothing else around and it was the quiet middle of the night, the sounds carried more easily.
Yoon Ye-jun had to face Ki Young-han directly, his neck held in Ki Young-han’s grip. His eyes finally met Ki Young-han’s.
Why did he kiss me? Yoon Ye-jun was quick-witted. He could easily tell if someone liked someone else. Especially if the other person liked the same sex, and even more so if they were interested in him, he could tell just by meeting their eyes.
…But he had never felt that way about Ki Young-han. Hadn’t Ki Young-han always acted as if he was determined to break him down, piece by piece?
Yoon Ye-jun asked cautiously.
“Do you… like me?”
Ki Young-han slowly shook his head. Yoon Ye-jun felt relieved by the reaction. He had actually been a little worried that Ki Young-han might confess his feelings.
“Then… are you drunk?”
“I just, fuck….”
Ki Young-han spat out a curse. Then he moved closer to the rock. Yoon Ye-jun lowered the leg he had resting on the rock. Ki Young-han wedged himself between Yoon Ye-jun’s legs.
“Can’t we just rub our lips together?”
This Ki Young-han was better than the one who would have acted all pathetic, saying he wanted to kiss. This felt more like Ki Young-han. Yoon Ye-jun looked at Ki Young-han with a blank expression and opened his mouth. He simply couldn’t understand.
“Why would you kiss someone you don’t like?”
Yoon Ye-jun had never been blinded by lust, frequenting bars or using apps. He was just a normal person who met someone, if they made eye contact and the other person showed a moderate interest, they would date, and then share physical intimacy. So, it was natural for him to show a crumpled expression to Ki Young-han, who suddenly tried to kiss him.
“What do you want me to do if I want to?”
Ki Young-han was being stubborn. But rather than being annoyed, Yoon Ye-jun just accepted it, thinking that was just how he was. It was strange to him that this was possible. Honestly, anyone else would be annoyed and put in a difficult situation, but because it was Ki Young-han, who always acted as he pleased in every encounter, Yoon Ye-jun could just accept it. It was peculiar for Yoon Ye-jun, who didn’t want to be seen negatively by others.
Ki Young-han’s hand, which had been holding Yoon Ye-jun’s neck, slowly moved up to cup his cheeks. Then, he used his thumb to rub the mole under Yoon Ye-jun’s eye. Yoon Ye-jun blinked at Ki Young-han’s touch and scanned his gaze. Ki Young-han was only looking at his lips. As Yoon Ye-jun’s lips twitched slightly, feeling a bit embarrassed, Ki Young-han’s shoulders shook. He was really doing it all.
Yoon Ye-jun finally let out a faint sigh. He felt that Ki Young-han wouldn’t let him go if this continued. As he exhaled, Ki Young-han’s grip tightened slightly. He seemed quite drunk. He couldn’t just spend time here with his cheeks held like this.
“Ki Young-han.”
“……”
Instead of answering, Ki Young-han looked up and met Yoon Ye-jun’s gaze.
“You have to forget this tomorrow.”
“……”
“Even if you don’t forget, you have to pretend you forgot. Because you made the first move.”
Yoon Ye-jun slowly pulled away Ki Young-han’s hands from his cheeks. Ki Young-han, who had placed his hands neatly on the rock, bent his waist. Their lips met. Am I drunk too? Yoon Ye-jun had that thought for a moment. Was I swept up in the mood? Still, he had never shared physical intimacy before dating someone.
As their lips pressed together, Ki Young-han slowly tilted his head, rubbing them. It seemed his claim of having dating experience wasn’t a lie. He didn’t fumble like a beginner.
Yoon Ye-jun closed his eyes tightly. Ki Young-han’s lips parted and enveloped Yoon Ye-jun’s. His tongue, which had come forward, pressed heavily against Yoon Ye-jun’s tongue. Ki Young-han’s lips were soft, just as they looked. His tongue felt like soft jelly. Although his breath carried the scent of alcohol, the kiss was natural enough that it didn’t matter. Well, Ki Young-han hadn’t been drinking alone.
“Mmm….”
As their tongues met, a sound of moderate arousal escaped. I shouldn’t be doing this. Yoon Ye-jun tightly gripped Ki Young-han’s sleeve. The more he did, the closer Ki Young-han pressed in. They continuously mingled their tongues. It felt persistent. They kissed breathlessly. It was almost like the kiss shared right before intercourse, but it was strange that it didn’t feel uncomfortable. It must be his face, Yoon Ye-jun concluded to himself.
Ki Young-han, who had wrapped his arms around Yoon Ye-jun’s waist, pulled him closer. His strength was such that with every strong pull, Yoon Ye-jun was easily drawn in. Ki Young-han kept pushing his tongue in, licking every corner of Yoon Ye-jun’s mouth. He even bit his lips gently. Yoon Ye-jun’s vision blurred from Ki Young-han’s relentless kissing.
Ki Young-han pulled Yoon Ye-jun towards him once more. Yoon Ye-jun was helplessly embraced by him. At the same time, he realized the rock that had been supporting him from behind was no longer there. He reached back to grab it, but he had already landed on his backside. The mood was broken, and the kiss ended. Ki Young-han stood before Yoon Ye-jun, who was sitting on the ground, and exhaled softly.
“Haa….”
“Ah… It hurts….”
Yoon Ye-jun scowled. Fortunately, there was only sand beneath the rock. If there had been stones, it would have been a disaster. He placed his hand on his backside and looked up, biting his lower lip. Is he coming to his senses now? He looked up at Ki Young-han with a resentful gaze. After all, it was because Ki Young-han kept pulling him that he fell. But as soon as their eyes met, Ki Young-han knelt. Their gazes locked.
“……”
“……”
Ki Young-han’s eyes seemed to be flushed red. His eyes, filled with arousal, were calmer than usual but sharp.
Yoon Ye-jun called Ki Young-han’s name, intending to calm him down.
“Ki Young-han….”
But he couldn’t finish the sentence. Ki Young-han moved closer again and covered Yoon Ye-jun’s lips. This guy is really persistent. The first time had been awkward and uncomfortable, but the second and third times were easier. Honestly, he felt like, whatever. Yoon Ye-jun just hoped Ki Young-han wouldn’t remember it.
The deep, intense, hot kiss continued without pause. He didn’t know how much time had passed. Yoon Ye-jun’s arms were soon wrapped around Ki Young-han’s neck. When he pulled his tongue back, Ki Young-han’s tongue persistently followed. When he turned his head to catch his breath, Ki Young-han would quickly follow and bump lips. Honestly, he thought he might be going crazy.
Ki Young-han finally sucked Yoon Ye-jun’s lower lip and pulled away. His half-closed eyes looked alluring. He panted shallowly, repeatedly. Yoon Ye-jun stared at Ki Young-han, thinking he might do it again. As expected, Ki Young-han bent down again. But he couldn’t reach Yoon Ye-jun’s lips.
Thump… Ki Young-han, with considerable weight, buried his forehead in Yoon Ye-jun’s shoulder. Then he let all his strength go. Yoon Ye-jun, surprised by the sudden weight, said, “What is it?” and pulled Ki Young-han’s head up. Ki Young-han’s handsome face was pulled up nicely, then lowered again. His body was limp, almost leaning on Yoon Ye-jun.
Yoon Ye-jun, with a flustered expression, called out to Ki Young-han.
“Young-han-ah.”
But there was no answer.
“Ki Young-han.”
“……”
“Hey, you rude bastard.”
There was still no answer. He must have been extremely drunk. Or perhaps, lacking breath, he was getting drunker. Yoon Ye-jun stood up Ki Young-han, who was more than ten centimeters taller than him. He put strength into his arms until they trembled, supporting him. Helping him up after falling on the mountain was nothing compared to this. At least then he was sober, but now Ki Young-han was completely drunk and couldn’t stand.
“Haa….”
It was a pity he couldn’t just leave Ki Young-han there. If he left him here, his mouth might freeze. Yoon Ye-jun draped Ki Young-han’s arm over his shoulder, placed his hand on his waist, and supported him. As he dragged him along the riverbank and was about to re-enter the walking path, Ki Young-han suddenly lifted his head.
“Are you awake?”
Yoon Ye-jun, panting and with a grim expression, spoke to him. For now, he just wanted him to regain a little consciousness. The thought of climbing the walking path made his vision go dark.
“…Can we kiss again?”
He might as well have collapsed.
Yoon Ye-jun managed to support Ki Young-han back to the accommodation. Ki Young-han mumbled nonsense intermittently, but thinking of him as a drunkard made him somewhat bearable. This kind of situation was quite familiar to Yoon Ye-jun. Because he had a higher alcohol tolerance than most, supporting others was a daily occurrence. Still, supporting someone of this size was a first. As Yoon Ye-jun dragged Ki Young-han to the front of the accommodation, Lee Yun-hak was standing there.
“Hyung!”
Lee Yun-hak approached with hurried steps. He looked surprised seeing Ki Young-han leaning on Yoon Ye-jun’s shoulder, collapsing.
“Where did you pick him up from?”
“Haha… I went for a walk to sober up, and he was lying on the ground.”
Yoon Ye-jun lied with a troubled expression. Lee Yun-hak muttered, “He can’t hold his liquor, so I thought it was strange he drank so much.” Ki Young-han didn’t seem to be a good drinker.
Lee Yun-hak said he would take care of Ki Young-han, and Yoon Ye-jun handed him over. Finally, his body felt lighter. He stretched his stiff shoulders in front of the pension. Although he felt lighter, it was hell.
“You don’t look it, but why are you so heavy?”
He muttered to himself and rubbed his lips with his palm. His lips, which Ki Young-han had thoroughly bitten and kissed, were burning. He had never imagined Ki Young-han kissing someone, and couldn’t even imagine it, but he realized that’s how it was. It was surprisingly passionate. He just hoped he wouldn’t remember it tomorrow.
Yoon Ye-jun placed the back of his hand on his cheek. It was hot. He must have been quite drunk himself. After all, without being drunk, how could he have rubbed lips and licked each other’s tongues with someone he always bickered with, someone he had no interest in? Or was it his face? He didn’t know. Yoon Ye-jun turned around. He was about to go into the accommodation to wash up and sleep when a voice called from behind.
“Ye-jun-ah.”
The voice was familiar. Yoon Ye-jun stopped dead in his tracks. It was unpleasant that the voice felt familiar, even though he hadn’t heard it in almost two years. Yoon Ye-jun slowly turned around.
“Hyung.”
Kim Jae-ui stood alone. Yoon Ye-jun was relieved to meet him at night, when his face couldn’t be seen clearly, as he didn’t know how to manage his expression. Kim Jae-ui slowly approached Yoon Ye-jun.
“Have you been well? It’s been a while.”
He was used to that voice pretending to be affectionate. Yoon Ye-jun just stared silently at Kim Jae-ui. He looked a bit more mature. He had seemed mature even as a student. How old was he now? He seemed to be around 28 or 29. Honestly, he had called most of his seniors by their student numbers while in school, so it was hard to remember their exact ages. And since they were aging together, it was even more confusing.
“I heard from Jeong-min that you were coming to the retreat.”
Yoon Ye-jun’s lips, which had been resting neutrally, curved upward.
“Did you have a good trip to America? Are you back in Korea for good?”
Yoon Ye-jun decided to pretend he didn’t know. He wanted to forget the shameful and embarrassing past, the time he spent anxiously waiting in front of Kim Jae-ui. Just as if they were close seniors and juniors. After all, nothing had happened. They weren’t dating. At most, for a month or two, he had followed Kim Jae-ui to cafes, gone drinking, and maybe seen a movie a few times.
“It was China, you don’t remember properly?”
Was that so…? Honestly, he couldn’t remember properly. Two years could be considered short or long.
Kim Jae-ui smiled and continued.
“I’m not back for good, just for a bit. A professor asked for help with something, so I’m assisting.”
“……”
“I hope to see you often at school, Ye-jun-ah.”
Kim Jae-ui’s friendly demeanor chilled Yoon Ye-jun’s heart. Kim Jae-ui probably didn’t even know why he had suddenly cut off contact. Was he even interested? He wondered for a moment. But he had no intention of asking. Yoon Ye-jun bit his lip and nodded.
“Yes.”
To his short reply, Kim Jae-ui grabbed Yoon Ye-jun’s forearm. His casual physical contact was uncomfortable.
“Let’s go inside and drink more. Only a few freshmen are left, and the rest are students we went to school with.”
“No.”
Yoon Ye-jun pulled his arm away from Kim Jae-ui and replied quite firmly. Still, a smile that pretended to be good-natured lingered on Yoon Ye-jun’s lips. His lips felt like they were spasming.
If Ki Young-han were here, he wouldn’t be hiding himself to this extent. At least it felt better than being in this uncomfortable situation, perhaps even better than rubbing lips. Yoon Ye-jun vaguely had that thought.
“I’m drunk. I need to go in and sleep. You should go in too, Hyung. I’ll head in first.”
Kim Jae-ui didn’t reply. Yoon Ye-jun turned his back on him and entered the accommodation. Click, the sound of the pension’s door lock closing, and he stood still in the entryway. The light filtering in from outside illuminated the accommodation softly. Among the students lying around, there was no slender figure that could be identified as Ki Young-han. He must have gone to his room. Yoon Ye-jun guessed to himself, looking at the slightly ajar door.
I’ll sleep there. It was uncomfortable to sleep crammed with students he had never properly spoken to. He preferred Ki Young-han, who spoke rudely. At least they had been rubbing lips just a few minutes ago. But would he be able to sleep? Yoon Ye-jun silently walked into the darkness.
In the end, Yoon Ye-jun stayed up all night. The people who had been drinking late had fallen asleep in other rooms, as no one else entered after he did. Fortunately, he didn’t run into Kim Jae-ui again. Nevertheless, he couldn’t sleep.
He left the accommodation and wandered around the vicinity, and went into the room to play on his Mobile phone next to a soundly sleeping Ki Young-han and his friend Lee Yun-hak. He even downloaded and played games he didn’t usually play, but without much success, he couldn’t fall asleep until dawn.
Early in the morning, he left the accommodation. The yard, which had been noisy all night, was quiet. Yoon Ye-jun looked at the accommodation where Kim Jae-ui was likely sleeping.
I hope to see you often at school.
He couldn’t understand what Kim Jae-ui meant by that. He didn’t know how he would spend the remaining day and a half. Usually, professors would have a few drinks on the first day of the retreat and leave before it got too late, but since Kim Jae-ui had spoken to him after he brought Ki Young-han back to the accommodation late at night, he was probably still here.
He’s not even a student anymore.
“I have nothing to do…”
As Yoon Ye-jun grumbled, Kim Dong-hoon came into his sight. He had a scowl on his face, likely still hungover. Yoon Ye-jun slowly approached Kim Dong-hoon.
“Kim Dong-hoon.”
“Uh… where did you go? Jae-ui hyung was looking for you.”
“Just… you know.”
Kim Dong-hoon nudged Yoon Ye-jun’s arm and said, “Don’t be so distant, man. He’s a senior looking out for you.”
Kim Dong-hoon, being unaware of the situation, could speak easily. Yoon Ye-jun chose to remain silent. He didn’t want to be confrontational. He was already uncomfortable being here. Yoon Ye-jun pursed his lips for a moment, then relaxed them.
“I think I have to go home today.”
He said this while making direct eye contact with Kim Dong-hoon. “What? Why?” Kim Dong-hoon asked, raising his voice.
“Su-yeon is going for college admissions consulting tomorrow, so I have to tutor her today.”
Su-yeon was a student he tutored.
“Suddenly?”
Dong-hoon asked, his eyes wide. Yoon Ye-jun lied calmly. Su-yeon-ah, I’m sorry. I’ll teach you diligently on Sunday instead.
Since it was something they had to do to make a living, Kim Dong-hoon said nothing. Instead, he felt apologetic. After all, he was the one who had brought them on the retreat. Seeing that, Yoon Ye-jun felt a pang of guilt, but Kim Dong-hoon was allowed to feel a little apologetic.
“Then how are you going to get to Seoul?”
“Ah, that’s…”
“Hold on. Did Jae’s hyung wake up? With a car…”
I’m going to avoid that guy.
Yoon Ye-jun bit back the words that rose to his throat. Instead, he grabbed Kim Dong-hoon’s arm.
“It’s okay. I have someone to give me a ride.”
“Who?”
Kim Dong-hoon tilted his head, asking. Just then, the door to the men’s dorm where Yoon Ye-jun had stayed up all night opened.
“Ah, this damn sunlight is so annoying.”
Ki Young-han appeared, muttering to himself. Yoon Ye-jun let out a soft chuckle. Good timing. He turned his head and pointed at him without a word. The weather is good, so what? Ki Young-han, who had cursed the day, looked neat despite having drunk too much the previous day. It was fortunate, or perhaps not.
Beep-beep- The sound of the remote unlocking the car doors could be heard. Yoon Ye-jun turned his back to Kim Dong-hoon and called out to Ki Young-han.
“Young-han-ah.”
“What is it.”
Ki Young-han replied, scanning Yoon Ye-jun from head to toe. Yoon Ye-jun slowly narrowed his eyes. Ki Young-han’s expression hardened further.
“…Can you give me a ride to Seoul?”
Yoon Ye-jun subtly glanced at Ki Young-han, who was sitting in the driver’s seat. He wondered why he was even looking, but he did anyway. Ki Young-han drove silently, his face expressionless.
Does he not remember?
It wasn’t that he was disappointed or anything. Still, seeing the faint scar on his lower lip, he figured Ki Young-han would at least be aware that he’d done something. He found his own personality twisted for being curious about the reaction, even though he’d told Ki Young-han not to remember.
When no particular reaction came, Yoon Ye-jun straightened his back and looked out the window. The road was still quite empty. He decided he’d go home and sleep, something he hadn’t done. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to sleep, though.
Only silence filled the car. It might have been Yoon Ye-jun’s imagination that even the air felt awkward. Yoon Ye-jun carefully broke the silence.
“Can I turn on the radio?”
“Do as you please.”
The words were “do as you please,” but it strangely sounded like “do whatever the hell you want.” That was just his usual tone. As soon as he got permission, Yoon Ye-jun turned on the radio. Beep. Beep. As he changed channels, a song came on that sounded like a carol in spring. Something about cherry blossoms, blah blah blah. At this time of year, this song would be playing everywhere.
It was a song that probably everyone his age, or even older generations, knew. People had listened to it for so long. Some even jokingly called it a pension. Yoon Ye-jun hummed the song softly.
“……”
At the same time, Ki Young-han reached out and turned off the radio. What a jerk… Yoon Ye-jun slightly scowled and glanced at Ki Young-han before turning his head the other way. Silence descended once more.
They continued like that for a long time, exchanging no words. Even after entering the Seoul Tollgate and nearing the school, it was the same. They would arrive in about 10 minutes. He hoped nothing would happen until then. So many things had happened during the retreat. Yoon Ye-jun decided to maintain his silence. The car stopped at a red light. Ki Young-han spoke first.
“Yesterday.”
Yoon Ye-jun slowly turned his head. After not saying a word until now, suddenly? Yoon Ye-jun found himself scrutinizing Ki Young-han’s expression. Ki Young-han spoke with a blank face.
“We kissed.”
“Don’t say it.”
He had been curious about the reaction, but hearing the blunt words made him feel embarrassed. Ki Young-han seemed unfazed. He truly had a thick skin. As expected, Ki Young-han shot back at Yoon Ye-jun, who had cut him off.
“It’s my mouth, I’ll say what I want. If you don’t like it, get out.”
“…You’re a crazy bastard.”
Yoon Ye-jun blurted out the words without filtering them. The red light turned green again. Ki Young-han continued driving and said,
“Can we do it again in the future?”
Ki Young-han said it as casually as if he were making plans for Friday.
“What?”
That’s why Yoon Ye-jun, unable to comprehend, asked again.
“I said, let’s do it again. That….”
That…?
“Kissing.”
“Do you like guys?”
“I didn’t say I’d suck your dick.”
Crazy bastard…
Yoon Ye-jun realized anew that conversations should be had with people you could actually communicate with. He thought for a moment. He didn’t know how to get past the current predicament. To be honest, he had liked kissing Ki Young-han. Perhaps it was because it had been so long since he’d had any physical contact, but it felt new. The way Ki Young-han had been clingy, not fitting his usual demeanor, and the way they’d constantly mingled tongues and saliva.
If they hadn’t met at school, it might not have ended with just a kiss. But Ki Young-han was someone he’d met at school, and even if they weren’t in the same department, they would have to see each other at school once or twice a week for several months.
Yoon Ye-jun finally asked the most fundamental question.
“…But why?”
Ki Young-han’s gaze slid towards Yoon Ye-jun. More precisely, it landed on Yoon Ye-jun’s lips. Why? What’s there to ask why? After tasting lips that were moist and glistening, he wanted to do it twice, three times, four times. He wanted to bite and kiss them all day. But if he said all that, Yoon Ye-jun would probably refuse to associate with him. He figured he himself would be horrified and run away if a same-sex acquaintance suddenly proposed periodic kissing.
“Because I want to.”
Yoon Ye-jun couldn’t help but feel Ki Young-han’s gaze, which didn’t leave his lips even while driving. Since they had already kissed once, and in fact, multiple times in one sitting, it was hard to use the excuse of it being dirty. And since they would have to see each other for months, it was difficult to refuse outright. Moreover, he felt like Ki Young-han would retaliate if he refused.
While each was lost in thought, the car eventually arrived in front of the school’s main gate. Yoon Ye-jun slowly unbuckled his seatbelt. He had to get through this as casually as possible. After the seatbelt retracted, Yoon Ye-jun nodded as if to catch his breath.
“Young-han.”
“Yes?”
“If you want to kiss, at least set the mood before you say it.”
Yoon Ye-jun said it lightly. After speaking, he got out of the car without hesitation. “Bye.” He waved, and Ki Young-han, his face filled with malice, left without a word.
“What a temper…”
Yoon Ye-jun clicked his tongue and shook his head. He thought he had been subtle.
‘At least set the mood before you say it.’
As if I’d ever set the mood with you, you jerk.
Still, the kiss had been quite good. It was a shame. If only it had been someone he met outside. Or maybe, towards the end of the semester in Communication Studies, one more time… He trailed off, then dismissed the thought as absurd. Ki Young-han was Ki Young-han.
Yoon Ye-jun didn’t have much to do. He’d skipped his part-time job under the guise of the retreat, and his assignments still had some leeway. After eating the lunchbox he bought on the way to his rented room, he suddenly found himself with free time.
In his small room, where there wasn’t even a television, the only thing Yoon Ye-jun could do was watch videos on his palm-sized mobile phone. He wasn’t really concentrating; he just had it on because he disliked the silence.
Yoon Ye-jun lifted his heavy eyelids. He must have dozed off for a bit. He hadn’t slept long, but it had gotten quite dark outside. The room, which had been bright before he fell asleep, was now filled with dim darkness. The video he had been watching had also turned off. From beyond the thin walls, he could hear muffled, indistinct sounds, as if his neighbor had brought a friend over, or perhaps was also watching a video.
Despite taking a nap, his body didn’t feel refreshed. It felt heavier, instead. As he stretched his arms, his hand touched the wall. Yoon Ye-jun, sitting up on the bed, let out a sigh. His heaving shoulders slumped.
Yoon Ye-jun fumbled around. Then, in the bluish darkness, he picked up his mobile phone. There were messages from Kim Dong-hoon, from the juniors he’d met at the retreat, and from his other project group members. Yoon Ye-jun, tapping away without much thought, sent replies. He then bit his lower lip with his upper lip.
A pop-up window appeared at the top of his phone. Thinking it must be from the people he’d just replied to, Yoon Ye-jun checked the messages.
Ki Young-han, Department of Political Science and International Relations
Let’s have dinner together tomorrow.
7:40 PM
Yoon Ye-jun’s eyes widened as he stared at the screen. He wondered if he was seeing things wrong. Maybe he had the wrong person. Not Ki Young-han from the Department of Political Science and International Relations, but… There were so many phishing scams these days, weren’t there? Pretending to be an acquaintance, saying their phone was broken and asking for urgent money. Things like that.
Although this seemed a bit different from those.
With a suspicious look, Yoon Ye-jun frowned and typed on the keypad.
Me
Did you send it to the wrong person?
7:41 PM
As soon as he sent the message, the ‘1’ indicating it had been read disappeared in the blink of an eye.
Ki Young-han, Department of Political Science and International Relations
No.
7:41 PM
You told me to set the mood.
7:41 PM
“Huh…”
Yoon Ye-jun stared at the words in the message, unsure how to reply.
Does setting the mood… actually work by suddenly announcing, ‘I’m going to set the mood,’ so obviously?
Still, he was surprised. Ki Young-han was someone with zero, or even negative, social skills. Yet, after being told to set the mood, he immediately sent a message asking to have dinner together.
Anyway, the surprising thing was the surprising thing…
Me
Can’t tomorrow. ^^
7:44 PM
I have a tutoring job.
7:45 PM
You worked hard today. Let’s meet on Thursday.
7:45 PM
He had sent the message, trying to phrase “Let’s stop messaging now” as nicely as possible. Honestly, he was worried about the repercussions if he sent even a slightly passive-aggressive message, not knowing how Ki Young-han would react. It wasn’t that he was scared, but more like encountering dog poop on the street.
After sending the refusal, Yoon Ye-jun stared blankly at the screen. Usually, when he refused like this, people would either ignore it, reply with “Me too, hyung,” or just send an emoji. But Ki Young-han, as expected, was different.
Ki Young-han’s reply popped up.
Ki Young-han
What about Monday?
7:45 PM
I have no intention of setting the mood with you, you bastard.
Yoon Ye-jun ended up reading the message only through the pop-up window and then shoved his phone into a corner of the bed before lying down again. Blinking, he stared at the yellowed ceiling of his studio apartment.
Honestly, he’d heard many stories about people making mistakes while drinking in college or at part-time jobs. Alcohol was a terrifying thing. It made people prioritize instinct over reason, didn’t it?
But that was…
“What on earth is this guy thinking?”
Even if he could excuse it as being drunk, it was natural to regret it once sober. At least, they would pretend to regret it. But Ki Young-han had thrown out absurd things.
‘Let’s do it again in the future. That….’
‘Kissing.’
‘Because I want to.’
This is ridiculous… He still found it hard to understand.
If it were his past self, at least the self from two years ago, and if the person he’d made a mistake with had been Kim Jae-ui, he might have wavered and even been the one to say, “Hyung, what are we to each other?” But that was him two years ago, and not anymore. Besides, Ki Young-han wasn’t even close to his ideal type.
A pretty but cold face, a mouth that spewed bombs, and younger.
Thinking about it again, he was far from his ideal type.
Yoon Ye-jun, who had been staring blankly at the ceiling, finally organized his thoughts and squeezed his eyes shut. He wasn’t sleepy, having just napped, but it didn’t matter much. The more sleep, the better.
A Korean document file was open on the laptop monitor on the desk. The cursor blinked inside a table formatted for a report. But there was no sound of typing. Ki Young-han, tilting his head, was looking at his mobile phone.
Me
What about Monday?
7:45 PM
Why aren’t you replying?
8:02 PM
“This damn…”
A curse slipped out involuntarily. He was happily replying just moments ago, and now he was cutting off contact arbitrarily? He was trying to set up a meeting time after being told to set the mood. He was all nice to his face, but behind his back, he was just a complete hypocrite.
An unbearable rage boiled up inside him.
Did your fingers break…?
He pressed down on the keypad with force. Ki Young-han’s eyes, which had been staring sharply at the phone screen, soon turned cold. He put down the phone he was gripping tightly and adjusted his posture. He crossed his legs, propped his chin on his hand, and stared blankly at the monitor.
He didn’t want to recall the past, but the kiss with Yoon Ye-jun kept coming to mind. After their lips touched once, he wanted to touch them again and again. Yoon Ye-jun’s lips were as soft as they looked. For Ki Young-han, who preferred jelly-like snacks among sweets, it was the best tongue. It was soft and felt good.
Was it just his tongue? The moist inside of his mouth, his even teeth, the way he’d pull and rub his tongue as if to tease, the soft lips that would let out soft groans… And Yoon Ye-jun’s eyes, which would look at him with half-closed, hazy eyes when their lips parted…
Ki Young-han’s gaze, which had been fixed intently on the screen, dropped. Precisely, it fell between his legs. Blood rushed, making it feel heavy.
With his lips pursed, Ki Young-han rolled his eyes towards the ceiling and then grabbed the edge of the desk, pushing himself up.
What happened with a guy? Even though the desire to kiss Yoon Ye-jun permeated his entire body, Ki Young-han had to fight his contradictory inner self. But his body was too honest. That was the biggest problem.
“Haa…”
Ki Young-han let out a long sigh and touched the bridge of his nose with his index finger. Then, he left the room and headed for the bathroom.
Sunday evening. A message arrived from Yoon Ye-jun.
Yoon Ye-jun
Sorry, sorry. I was preparing for class and just saw your message. ^^; But I have work tomorrow, so it’ll be hard to meet. Let’s meet on Thursday. Have a good weekend.
10:38 PM
Ki Young-han tilted his head and stared blankly at the message Yoon Ye-jun had sent. His lips twitched, conveying a sense of sulkiness. No, it was blatant. Even though no one would notice him glaring, he glared at the screen with narrowed eyes.
What kind of part-time job does he have that he’s running around all week? Ki Young-han pursed his lips, his mouth turned down, and exhaled sharply through his nose. He tapped the keypad with his finger, then hesitated.
“Okay.”
But he changed his mind. He deleted the message he had typed. They weren’t going to stop meeting, were they? They would meet on Thursday at the latest. Of course, they had to meet on Friday too because of that group project.
Then, Ki Young-han noticed a change. Yoon Ye-jun’s messenger profile picture, which had been a photo of a mutt, had changed. He hesitated, his thumb hovering over the profile, then tapped the photo.
“……”
He didn’t need to see it to know. It was a picture of cherry blossoms, presumably taken during the retreat. He takes pictures like this too, even though he doesn’t look like it. Pretending to be so delicate. He should post his own picture. Pouting, he left the chat room.
The convenience store in the Humanities Building was quite noisy. It was lunchtime, so there were quite a few people. Yoon Ye-jun stood in front of the counter. His expression was quite serious.
He’s going to make a scene, isn’t he…?
Yoon Ye-jun thought as he poured the coffee from the pack into an ice cup. He’d ended up at the convenience store today because he was afraid of running into Ki Young-han at a cafe near the Humanities Building. He detested the overly sweet coffee typical of convenience stores, but today was an exception.
Whether it was because he had been too obvious, or because he had felt self-conscious only after going home, Ki Young-han hadn’t contacted him since. He knew Ki Young-han was alive because there was a confirmation notice that he had uploaded the assignment to the Communication Studies portal system.
Still, it was fine. He was relieved that there was no more contact.
Yoon Ye-jun was grateful that they weren’t in the same department. If they were, where could he find a more awkward situation than this?
Yoon Ye-jun walked towards Mugunghwa Hall, holding the cup, chilled by the ice, in one hand. Ki Young-han was sitting in his usual spot.
Yoon Ye-jun approached him cautiously. He intended to sit down quietly next to him, but Ki Young-han turned his head at the sound and his gaze fell on the ice cup in Yoon Ye-jun’s hand.
“……Hi.”
Yoon Ye-jun belatedly added an awkward greeting. His mouth felt dry. It was then that Yoon Ye-jun noticed two coffee cups in Ki Young-han’s hand, presumably bought from a cafe near the Humanities Building.
“……”
“……”
Ki Young-han primly turned his head back. Then, he slurped down the coffee in front of him. Why did he buy two cups? The question immediately followed in Yoon Ye-jun’s mind.
Could it be…?
Could it be… he bought them to give to me again?
Then what would that make him? It would be just enough to make him seem like a selfish person who only bought one for himself, not exactly a scoundrel, but a bit petty. It can’t be.* He wanted to believe that.
Fearing that Ki Young-han might snap at him again, Yoon Ye-jun forced a smile and spoke.
“You must be very tired? To buy and drink two cups of coffee.”
“Yes.”
Ki Young-han replied without making eye contact. His voice was a little colder than usual. Cold sweat broke out on Yoon Ye-jun’s palm.
Honestly, we aren’t that close, and even if we were, wouldn’t someone usually just buy coffee for themselves if there wasn’t a special arrangement? Who would meticulously buy two cups of coffee as if offering tribute, saying, “Here’s one for you, one for me”?
“……”
However, Yoon Ye-jun chose silence. Ki Young-han wasn’t particularly logical, but then again, when you thought about it, he always said the right thing. To be honest, Yoon Ye-jun felt he was being swayed a bit, and he couldn’t help it. Yoon Ye-jun was curious about the reason. Normally, he would have crushed Ki Young-han, to the point where Ki Young-han would be calling him “Hyung, Hyung” and begging at his feet. So why was he being swayed in such a strange way? What was the reason…?
Ki Young-han asked, his gaze fixed straight ahead.
“You said you have an afternoon class tomorrow.”
“Yeah.”
An ominous premonition washed over him for some reason. Yoon Ye-jun swallowed dryly.
“What time does it end?”
“Was it nine in the evening?”
Ki Young-han turned to look at Yoon Ye-jun. His eyes clearly conveyed, ‘You’re talking nonsense.’ Yoon Ye-jun gave an awkward smile. Nine o’clock was too late, even in his own estimation.
But he had no choice. Yoon Ye-jun was uncomfortable with Ki Young-han persistently trying to make plans. He would have preferred it if Ki Young-han nagged him like a high school homeroom teacher, telling him not to sleep as he pleased, not to drink coffee, not to use his mobile phone, and exposing his true nature to the world. It wasn’t that he was hiding anything now, but still.
Yoon Ye-jun eventually revised his answer.
“…Three o’clock.”
“Let’s meet after it ends? To work on the assignment, what was it this week.”
“Flower viewing.”
Ki Young-han’s eyebrows twitched as he asked again.
“Flower viewing?”
“Yeah. They said to take pictures and post them. Let’s see the cherry blossoms around campus and then part ways.”
Ki Young-han’s lips, which had been chattering away, clamped shut. He remembered the moment at the Hankuk University Media and Information Department retreat when Yoon Ye-jun had plucked a cherry blossom from his hair. Yoon Ye-jun had smiled so innocently, showing him the petal…
The memory of that scene suddenly made his chest ache. Ki Young-han couldn’t maintain his composure and pressed his hand against his chest.
It wasn’t about the cherry blossoms at all.
Ki Young-han moved his hand from his chest back to its original position. He smoothed out his frown and maintained a poker face.
“Let’s go see the forsythia instead.”
“What?”
Yoon Ye-jun raised his voice instead of answering. He wondered if he had misheard. Cherry blossoms were planted everywhere to create a spring atmosphere. Why forsythia, out of the blue…
“Let’s go see the forsythia. I’m sick of cherry blossoms. What’s with everyone talking about cherry blossoms.”
‘Why is he acting like this again…’
Yoon Ye-jun raised one corner of his mouth slightly instead of answering. Even though he knew there was no one to answer him, he asked himself a question. He couldn’t figure out his personality at all. Just when he thought he understood, he would twist things around, and just when he was about to lose interest because of his twisted nature, he would act like a normal person with decent character.
“How can you expect to set a mood when you’re so self-willed…”
Yoon Ye-jun blurted out the words he should have kept to himself. As soon as he spoke, he was even more surprised and stiffened. Ki Young-han glared at Yoon Ye-jun, his eyes sharp.
Honestly. He was undoubtedly the best at being sensitive and fussy, not just in this lecture hall, but in the College of Social Sciences, no, at Hankuk University.
Yoon Ye-jun groaned, inhaled, and added,
“Can’t we just meet at nine in the morning like before?”
“I don’t want to.”
“Why?”
“I can’t wake up in the morning because I have to study.”
‘Seriously.’
He hadn’t even bothered to listen when Yoon Ye-jun had pleaded with him to meet a little later because he had a part-time job. Now, he was saying he couldn’t because of his studies.
Yoon Ye-jun sighed deeply.
“Do whatever you want. Call me at seven in the morning, or eleven at night.”
‘When haven’t you done whatever you wanted?’ he thought, shaking his head. Then, he casually glanced at Ki Young-han. His eyes, which had been calm, slowly widened in shock.
“……”
Ki Young-han’s lips twitched. Was that a smile, a faint one, on the corner of his mouth? He didn’t want to believe it.
Yoon Ye-jun tried to look away, wanting to pretend he hadn’t seen it, but then he glanced at Ki Young-han again to confirm. At that moment, Ki Young-han’s expression hardened as if nothing had happened, and he cleared his throat.
Yoon Ye-jun awkwardly looked at the printout in front of him. Ki Young-han was better like that.
* * *
Although it was partly due to Ki Young-han’s insistence, having the usual Friday morning meeting postponed to the afternoon made the day feel remarkably leisurely. Normally, he would have to rush out in the morning, but today, he ate a leisurely breakfast-lunch, came to school, and only had one major class, which made life bearable. Of course, the professor’s droning voice was conducive to sleep.
The lecture was in full swing. Yoon Ye-jun, who had been doodling the professor’s meaningless wordplay in the blank spaces of his textbook, closed his eyes deeply and then opened them. His body was relaxed, but he was just as sleepy. He stifled a small yawn discreetly and shifted his gaze to his mobile phone on the desk. Just then, a pop-up window flashed on the dark screen.
Ki Young-han, Department of Political Science and International Relations
I’m at the College of Liberal Arts Library.
2:27 PM
Yoon Ye-jun tilted his head at Ki Young-han’s abrupt message stating his location. What was he supposed to do with that? At first glance, it seemed like a message sent by mistake. Just as he reached for his mobile phone, thinking he might have sent it to the wrong person, another message arrived.
Ki Young-han, Department of Political Science and International Relations
Come here when you’re done.
2:28 PM
So, he wanted him to come to where he was. Ki Young-han’s command was very natural. There was no polite question like “Where do you want to meet?” It was a notification. The arch of Yoon Ye-jun’s eyebrows rose. Didn’t people usually ask where the other person was first? Of course, since he was in a class on the fifth floor of the College of Social Sciences building, he could go down to the first floor and meet Ki Young-han, but he didn’t feel like it. He wondered if he was being difficult, or if Ki Young-han was picking a fight again.
Yoon Ye-jun, already feeling drowsy and more sensitive than usual, sent a curt reply.
Me
You come here.
2:30 PM
Where I am is…….
As he was typing his message, a reply came from Ki Young-han.
Ki Young-han, Department of Political Science and International Relations
Where?
2:31 PM
He concluded that he was the one being difficult. Ki Young-han had said it without thinking, and Yoon Ye-jun was twisting his thoughts like a twisted ice cream cone, picking a fight. Right. Ki Young-han was always like this. He felt a little sorry for sending a stiff reply.
Yoon Ye-jun replied briefly that he was in class on the fifth floor of the College of Social Sciences building. ‘Should I go to a cafe?’ he thought, wanting to send a gifticon out of guilt, but there was no further reply from Ki Young-han.
“……”
Looking at his phone, which had no reply, Yoon Ye-jun suddenly remembered Ki Young-han’s lips twitching as if he were about to smile yesterday. He was so surprised.
Was it better to meet in the afternoon, or did he like it when Yoon Ye-jun was compliant instead of being prickly? He didn’t know the reason, but he had never seen Ki Young-han smile, so it even gave him goosebumps.
‘He’s human too, though.’ Ki Young-han often seemed detached from humanity. For example, when he argued back without conceding a single point, or when he prioritized his own feelings regardless of who was around.
Still…
He didn’t seem like a bad person. And he kissed quite well. His thoughts took an unexpected turn. Ki Young-han, who had pulled himself closer, desperately trying to touch him, was undeniably human. A human blinded by lust.
Yoon Ye-jun, even though he didn’t want to, often recalled those moments of kissing Ki Young-han. Apart from Ki Young-han’s lips and tongue moving, it was the first time he had ever had skinship with someone after drinking.
During their kisses, when he sometimes opened his eyes, Ki Young-han’s eyelashes, closed tightly, would enter his vision. Then, when Ki Young-han lifted his eyelids, Yoon Ye-jun would quickly close his eyes. He thought to himself, looking at Ki Young-han up close, that his pupils were lighter than those of ordinary people.
But then he steeled himself and tried to forget. What would change if he didn’t forget, if he kept thinking about it? Yoon Ye-jun decided it would be better to just study, put his mobile phone in his pocket, and focus on the professor again.
“Ye-jun. Come here for a moment after class.”
After the lecture ended, the professor suddenly called out to Yoon Ye-jun. Yoon Ye-jun, who was packing his bag without much thought, straightened up. The professor, making eye contact, nodded as if pulling his chin forward. Why was he being asked to stay all of a sudden? He wondered, but figured there must be a reason, so he replied, “Yes.”
Only the professor and Yoon Ye-jun remained in the empty lecture hall. The professor leaned against the electronic lectern, fiddling with the whiteboard marker he had used earlier. Then, he suddenly made an offer.
“Ye-jun, do you want to try a part-time job?”
“What?”
The professor knew he had several part-time jobs. They had eaten together a few times, and he was a professor who had taken particular care of him when he was more active in school. But suddenly, a part-time job? Yoon Ye-jun, unable to understand, tilted his head and asked again.
“If I give you materials to read, you find words you find difficult and write them in one sentence. It’s not difficult. It’s done at home, so the hourly wage is tricky, but it’s about 100,000 won per document. The volume isn’t that much either. You can think of it as easy pocket money. Looking at the assignments you submitted, you’re more meticulous than other students. I also know you work hard at your part-time jobs.”
Yoon Ye-jun pondered for a moment. 100,000 won was quite a lot for a job done at home. It didn’t seem difficult either. The fact that he was being singled out from other students made it seem like the professor was trying to help him specifically.
However, he couldn’t take on anything that would interfere with his daily life. During the semester, he already had a beer house job and tutoring sessions, along with a couple of group projects and individual assignments. Yoon Ye-jun hesitated and continued,
“Do you give these out often? I mean… it’s hard to quit my other part-time jobs.”
“Not often. About once every 2 or 3 weeks. The deadline isn’t extremely tight. It will all be compiled into a book later. It’s for people with a graduate-level education to read, so I thought it would be perfect for you to read.”
“Ah.”
Still, he hesitated. He felt he might get entangled in unnecessary things if he worked directly with the professor. As if sensing Yoon Ye-jun’s hesitation, the professor continued,
“If you feel burdened because of me, don’t worry too much. I’m only responsible for it, and other students will do the work, so you can contact them. Do you know Su-yeon from the fourth year? She’s doing it too.”
Then, maybe it would be okay to try. Yoon Ye-jun nodded as if he understood and met the professor’s gaze, deliberately pulling up the corners of his mouth.
“I’ll do it. Then, who should I contact?”
“You made a good decision. You should contact Jae-ui. I’ll let him know, so you two can contact each other and arrange a schedule.”
“What?”
Yoon Ye-jun raised his voice at the sudden mention of a familiar name. The professor tilted his head.
“Ye-jun, you know Jae-ui, right? Didn’t you take the same class with him before he graduated and weren’t you quite close?”
“Ah……”
It was awkward. If he had heard the name earlier, he would have said he couldn’t do it. Yoon Ye-jun carefully bit and released his lower lip in his predicament. He scraped the dead skin on his lips with his teeth.
Sigh…
He couldn’t say he would do it and then immediately back out. If he said he couldn’t do it after thinking about it, the professor would likely tell Kim Jae-ui. He didn’t want to be involved in any way. Yoon Ye-jun clenched and unclenched his fist lightly.
“But I don’t have Hyung Jae-ui’s number.”
“Ah, I’ll take care of that. Good luck. I’m asking you because you study hard and work hard at your part-time jobs, and it’s good to see.”
The professor patted Yoon Ye-jun on the shoulder with a kind expression. Yoon Ye-jun met his gaze with a friendly smile, the kind he always showed his professors. But despite his smiling face, his insides were a mess. ‘I’m ruined.’
It would have been better if nothing had happened. Of course, he had no feelings for him anymore. This is why people say not to date within your department. Even though nothing special had happened, he found himself in a difficult situation.
He wished Kim Jae-ui would forget about it. Perhaps he was just worrying unnecessarily. If the topic came up, and if, by some chance, Kim Jae-ui brought up the past, he would pretend not to know. There was no other way, Yoon Ye-jun concluded in a short time. Then, he bowed deeply to the professor, who had finished speaking, and left the lecture hall.
He walked away like a dazed person. Was this why the person he said he wanted to see often at school was being called around everywhere, even after graduating, because the professor favored him? He used to think that was cool. But now, it had only led to an awkward situation.
“Ah…”
Lost in thought about Kim Jae-ui, Yoon Ye-jun let out a low sigh and stopped in his tracks. Come to think of it, he was supposed to meet Ki Young-han. Although he hadn’t talked to the professor for long, Ki Young-han, knowing the class had ended, would be waiting for him, unaware of the situation. He would surely be annoyed.
Yoon Ye-jun took his mobile phone out of his pocket. He had received a short message from Ki Young-han. It said he would wait by the elevator since he hadn’t told him which classroom. Yoon Ye-jun quickly walked towards the elevator.
“……”
Ki Young-han stood by the elevator, arms crossed, looking out the window. Yoon Ye-jun stood behind him, staring blankly. The entire side was made of glass, so the vast campus scenery was visible over Ki Young-han’s shoulder. But his face reflected in the window showed no emotion. Usually, wouldn’t people become more relaxed and serene when enjoying the spring sunlight and the fragrant scenery?
However, it seemed unfitting for Ki Young-han to be swayed by such scenery. Yoon Ye-jun, with a blank expression, tilted his head and approached Ki Young-han, who was looking out the window.
“Young-han.”
When he called out to Ki Young-han, he slowly turned around. Wearing a knit sweater with a mix of beige and yellow, he had broad shoulders and a good build, so the clothes suited him well.
“……”
Sorry I’m late. Did you wait long? Just as Yoon Ye-jun was about to speak.
Ki Young-han’s face, which had been devoid of expression, suddenly showed annoyance. ‘Honestly. He’s like this whenever he sees me.’ Yoon Ye-jun cursed Ki Young-han inwardly for openly showing his displeasure without even letting him apologize. If he acted like this, even if he wanted to apologize, the words wouldn’t come out.
“You said it ends at three. Everyone else is out, so why aren’t you? Are you carrying books around? You’re so slow.”
Ki Young-han fired off a barrage of words, not letting Yoon Ye-jun get a word in. ‘You do your thing, I’ll do mine.’ Yoon Ye-jun pressed the elevator button without a typical reply. The elevator soon arrived and the doors opened. They got on the elevator side by side. They leaned against opposite ends of the empty elevator.
Yoon Ye-jun stealthily glanced at Ki Young-han. Ki Young-han was still frowning deeply, but he was calmer than when he had been firing off words. Even with his head turned, his lips were pouting, and Yoon Ye-jun could see them twitching.
‘He’s really showing how upset he is.’
Sighing inwardly, Yoon Ye-jun cautiously began,
“Did you wait long? Sorry. The professor called me over for a moment.”
“……”
Ki Young-han didn’t answer. Yoon Ye-jun felt a surge of emotion. He was late, but it was only five minutes at most. A normal person would have let it slide. What could he do if the professor called him? Of course, Ki Young-han was an exception. That guy was different.
Yoon Ye-jun awkwardly pulled up the corners of his mouth. Still, he had done wrong. He took a step closer to Ki Young-han. In the narrow elevator, their distance closed.
“What are you doing?”
As soon as their bodies touched, Ki Young-han raised his voice as if in shock. Then, even though there was nothing he could do about it, he tensed his shoulders to the side. This guy is taller than I thought. Yoon Ye-jun looked up at Ki Young-han, estimating his height.
Was he in the late 180s? Maybe even 190? It seemed his height was a major reason he stood out at school. Of course, his face played a significant role too.
“I’m really sorry I’m late.”
Yoon Ye-jun apologized once more. One thing he’d noticed while living with Ki Young-han was that he held grudges. If he got upset about something, he’d grumble about it all day. So, it was better to resolve things quickly.
Ki Young-han turned his head away. His posture was defensive. He raised one hand, which was crossed over his chest, and clutched his jawline as if to cover it.
Of course, he didn’t expect Ki Young-han to forgive him just by saying sorry. Still, he wanted to have at least some basis for when they inevitably argued loudly again later. Wouldn’t it be better than not apologizing at all?
Naturally, Ki Young-han chose silence. Yoon Ye-jun moved a little closer to Ki Young-han. “Are you mad?” he asked, feeling worried. He was afraid Ki Young-han might explode. He knew that groveling beside him wouldn’t likely appease Ki Young-han, though…
“Well, it’s fine. You said it was because of the professor.”
He’s letting it go…?
This was significant progress. Whether his skill at appeasing Ki Young-han had improved or Ki Young-han had simply adapted and decided to let it go on his own, the two of them no longer flushed with anger.
Contrary to Yoon Ye-jun’s expectation that they would just take some photos of forsythia around the school and call it a day, they ended up going to the Han River in Ki Young-han’s car. He parked the car in the lot. Perhaps because the weather was nice, there were quite a few people even on a weekday. Most of them were around his age, and there weren’t many pairs of two men. Everyone was either a couple or a group of friends.
It felt a little awkward, but Ki Young-han was unfazed. Then, as if he already had a place in mind, he walked off without hesitation. Yoon Ye-jun hurried to follow him. Ki Young-han stopped at a spot a little further inside from the plaza where people gathered to play music.
Thanks to good maintenance, many forsythias were in bloom. However, Yoon Ye-jun didn’t feel excited or thrilled. He felt too embarrassed and shy. Even though it was a secluded spot, there were several people strolling by, and the sight of two men chatting intimately in front of flowers seemed strange.
Ki Young-han still had an expressionless face. His unexpected composure was strange. Well, Ki Young-han had brought him here, after all. Yoon Ye-jun subtly stood beside Ki Young-han. A gentle river breeze blew. Ki Young-han, who had been gazing at the leisurely flowing water, turned his head at the sound of footsteps.
“How did you know there were so many forsythias here?”
“I have eyes, how could I not know?”
“…Can’t you just say it nicely?”
As he asked with a slightly creased expression, Ki Young-han immediately turned his head back. There was no sound effect, but it felt like a petulant child huffing “Hmph.” and turning away. Anyway.
“It’s nice to be out after so long.”
“……”
After standing there for a bit, his embarrassment faded. Yoon Ye-jun, who didn’t usually go out much, enjoyed the fresh air. Even though he had just returned from a retreat a week ago, he felt better now than he did then. He hadn’t really enjoyed himself at the retreat and had just been watching others. And… he had kissed Ki Young-han. It had been quite chaotic. It was definitely far from relaxing.
But today was a little different. It felt like a break. If they had come in the morning, he wouldn’t have felt this comfortable. It was good that Ki Young-han insisted on coming in the afternoon, and it was good that he had agreed to his insistence.
The two of them, turning their backs to the forsythias, simply gazed at the river. They weren’t the type to exchange many words anyway, so it was naturally awkward. Yoon Ye-jun hummed a tune and felt the river breeze. Then, looking straight ahead, he spoke to Ki Young-han.
“This place is nice. Thanks for bringing me.”
Ki Young-han didn’t reply. He knew he wouldn’t get an answer anyway. Yoon Ye-jun suddenly wondered. Why had Ki Young-han chosen to see forsythias of all things? There were cherry blossoms everywhere on campus. Of course, there were forsythias too, but they weren’t as well-maintained as the cherry blossoms.
“Ki Young-han.”
He called his name, but again, there was no answer. Yoon Ye-jun continued speaking casually.
“Why do you dislike cherry blossoms?”
Only then did Ki Young-han’s gaze turn towards him. Yoon Ye-jun met his eyes. Ki Young-han stared intently. He didn’t say anything, just looked, so Yoon Ye-jun forced a smile. If you don’t want to talk, fine. He was about to turn his head back to the front when it stopped and turned towards Ki Young-han again. A faint pink blush colored Ki Young-han’s cheeks.
What’s that now?
Unlike the flustered Yoon Ye-jun, Ki Young-han fanned himself and then placed the back of his hand on his cheek. He must be hot, Yoon Ye-jun tried to conclude. It wasn’t that hot, though. Both of them were dressed similarly. Their clothes had gotten lighter compared to just a few weeks ago, but they were still wearing long-sleeved shirts.
“Are you hot?”
When he asked, a curt reply followed immediately.
“Is it any of your business?”
It’s not my business. You deal with it. Yoon Ye-jun averted his gaze. Then, turning his back to the river, he walked towards the forsythias.
“Let’s go take pictures.”
It was better to finish the assignment quickly than to talk and get annoyed.
The two of them took selfies. Ki Young-han was bad at taking pictures. He looked like someone who had never taken a photo alone. He awkwardly held his mobile phone and just stuck his head back. Why was he using such a handsome face like that? Yoon Ye-jun, who had already taken pictures with the forsythias, took photos of the forsythias alone and then watched Ki Young-han taking pictures from a distance.
Click. Ki Young-han took a photo and looked at his mobile phone. He scowled, seemingly displeased. Why is he like this? he muttered to himself.
Watching him, Yoon Ye-jun thought it would be better if he took the pictures. While he wasn’t a great photographer himself, he knew that photos wouldn’t turn out well with that pose.
“Young-han, give me your phone.”
Yoon Ye-jun approached and held out his hand.
“Why?”
Ki Young-han replied curtly, even then. It wasn’t like he was going to steal it, but he was on guard like a wary animal.
“I’ll take your picture. I can’t stand watching you take them; it’s too awkward.”
He meant it as a joke, but Ki Young-han’s expression wasn’t good. Perhaps he thought the same, as he handed over the phone without a word. On the screen was the photo Ki Young-han had just taken.
A blank-faced young man was scowling next to the forsythias. His face, so handsome that he would stand out even among a thousand people, wasn’t fully captured. I need to take a good picture. Since he had boasted, he became quite serious.
Yoon Ye-jun pressed the camera button and stepped back. Then, he captured Ki Young-han with the forsythias. Wearing a beige knit, he matched the blooming forsythias well. His natural brown hair was also softly captured in the camera, illuminated by the natural light.
He looks like spring.
It was strange to compare a person to a season, but looking at Ki Young-han, he thought of spring.
Ki Young-han stood at an angle, but his proportions were so good that his posture looked fine no matter how he stood. Yoon Ye-jun took pictures without saying anything like “I’m taking it.” Click. Click. He focused on taking pictures, even furrowing his brow. When he took another picture, click, Ki Young-han’s expression immediately stiffened.
“Can’t you say something when you take pictures?”
“Ah… sorry. But it turned out well.”
“Don’t take pictures so weirdly that I have to come back again.”
It’ll probably be better than your selfies, though. He swallowed the words he couldn’t say aloud.
“Shouldn’t we take one of us together too?”
Yoon Ye-jun asked, standing next to Ki Young-han, who was looking at his own photos on his phone. Ki Young-han, who had been engrossed in his phone, looked up. His hard work had paid off, as he didn’t object.
“How do we take one of us together?”
“Just a moment.”
Just then, a man walking a chocolate-poodle mix passed by. Yoon Ye-jun approached the man and casually struck up a conversation.
“Excuse me, could you take a picture for us?”
Ki Young-han watched him blankly. His lips, which had been resting, twitched with displeasure.
“Acting all nice.”
Disliking Yoon Ye-jun’s friendly demeanor, he turned his head away and muttered.
The man surprisingly agreed to their request. Yoon Ye-jun lightly tapped his feet and ran to stand next to Ki Young-han. “Just take it like this?” the man asked, and Yoon Ye-jun replied, “Yes,” smiling amiably. Disliking Yoon Ye-jun’s beaming smile, Ki Young-han put his hands behind his back and turned his head away.
The man, holding the phone horizontally to take a picture of the two of them, added an unnecessary comment.
“The person next to you isn’t looking at the camera.”
“Look at the camera, quickly.”
Yoon Ye-jun nudged Ki Young-han in the ribs with his elbow and urged him. “Ah, seriously. What do you want me to do?” Ki Young-han blurted out without filter, looking at the phone the man was holding with a frown between his brows.
“……”
Ki Young-han pressed his lips together tightly. As he slightly turned his head, he smelled a pleasant scent from Yoon Ye-jun. He couldn’t tell if it was shampoo or fabric softener, but it was a soft, sweet scent. He remembered smelling this scent when they went hiking. Ki Young-han took a shallow breath. His body stiffened, afraid it might be noticeable.
Click! The sound rang out again. The man holding the phone approached the two of them. The dog, wearing a leash and walking with them, smiled happily. Ki Young-han stared at the dog.
It’s cute. He wasn’t particularly fond of animals, but his gaze was drawn to its fluffy brown fur. He glanced at it a few times, pretending not to look.
“……”
The man and Yoon Ye-jun were talking. They were laughing out loud after only talking for less than five minutes. Ki Young-han found the dog more comfortable. However, the dog soon ran towards Yoon Ye-jun.
Left alone, Ki Young-han clicked his tongue, turned his back on the two people and the dog, and gazed at the leisurely flowing Han River. I wish it would rain. He cursed for no reason.
Haha, they’re having such a good time. When Yoon Ye-jun was startled by the dog clinging to his leg, the man laughed. Then, he jokingly added,
“Are you two dating?”
At his voice, Ki Young-han immediately turned his head. Before Yoon Ye-jun could even open his mouth, he shot back curtly,
“If you’re done with your business, let’s go. Stop being so nosy.”
Wow…
Yoon Ye-jun was genuinely amazed. Ki Young-han treated not only his friends or people he disliked, but even strangers he just met, this way. It wasn’t surprising, considering Ki Young-han had snapped at a junior from his department whom he met in the lecture hall.
The man looked at Yoon Ye-jun with a bewildered expression. Yoon Ye-jun smiled awkwardly and added that they weren’t dating, they were just out for an assignment. Soon after, unable to bear the awkward atmosphere, the man and his dog left.
Yoon Ye-jun turned to face Ki Young-han, who was facing the other way, with a rather stern expression.
“Why are you so prickly?”
He finally said something.
“Just send me the pictures.”
Ki Young-han said only what he needed to say and casually started walking towards the parking lot.
He’s just like that. Thinking that made him feel at ease. It was even more comforting to think of him as someone he would part ways with after a brief group project.
They hadn’t fought, but a cold air flowed between the two of them. Yoon Ye-jun didn’t bother talking to Ki Young-han, but he wasn’t angry either. He was tired, and he didn’t feel the need to converse. He thought they wouldn’t exchange a single word until they reached the school, but Ki Young-han, who was holding the steering wheel, spoke first.
“It’s getting late, why don’t we grab dinner together?”
Ki Young-han spoke as if he had completely forgotten the argument they had earlier due to his tone.
Yoon Ye-jun checked the time. It was a little past 5 PM. It was indeed dinnertime. He had only eaten breakfast-cum-lunch, so he was hungry. But why with him…?
Just then, Yoon Ye-jun remembered the message Ki Young-han had sent asking him to dinner.
No way…
“Are you trying to set the mood?”
He couldn’t control his expression and asked. He expected Ki Young-han to retort that it wasn’t like that, but contrary to his expectation, he replied casually, “Yes,” and continued.
“Tell me what you want to eat.”
He couldn’t think of anything specific. “Um…” Yoon Ye-jun drew out his words and suddenly thought of the stir-fried tripe sold near the school. It was a dish that was perfect for a meal, for drinks, or as a side dish, so the restaurant was always crowded. Even people visiting the university area from elsewhere would come specifically to eat there. However, he thought Ki Young-han would hate that kind of thing.
Knowing Ki Young-han would dislike it, Yoon Ye-jun decided to ask. If he said, I don’t eat that kind of thing, then he would think, Okay, let’s part ways.
“Do you eat stir-fried tripe? There’s a delicious place near school, want to go there for a simple meal?”
“Yes.”
Contrary to his expectation, he wasn’t that picky about food. Was that a good thing…? In any case, since Yoon Ye-jun had suggested the menu, they had to eat dinner together. Although it would be awkward, the thought of eating dinner made him feel increasingly hungry. Ki Young-han continued driving with an indifferent expression. Then, they arrived at the restaurant and parked the car.
“……”
“…It’s crowded.”
It was Friday evening, and since it was a popular restaurant, customers were lined up outside. Yoon Ye-jun didn’t know what to do and stared at the scene from the passenger seat. What should I do? he hesitated, glancing at Ki Young-han.
“Let’s get it to go.”
Ki Young-han said calmly and took out his phone to make a call himself. They said it would take ten minutes for the takeout. It seemed better than waiting in line.
In the meantime, Ki Young-han went outside and smoked a couple of cigarettes. Then, he went inside, came out with a black plastic bag hanging from his wrist.
Where should they eat? Yoon Ye-jun carefully took the black bag Ki Young-han had brought out. Should we go to the school park? The weather is nice. He pondered without speaking aloud when Ki Young-han suggested.
“Want to come to my place? It’s better than eating in a dust-filled place.”
Yoon Ye-jun looked at Ki Young-han with surprised eyes. He wondered if he was thinking something strange, widening his eyes. However, Ki Young-han’s face was calm. He felt like he was the one being strange.
“Are you going to eat at home or not?”
Ki Young-han urged him, as if spitting out the words.
“Let’s go eat at your place.”
Yoon Ye-jun also blurted out the words in a fit of pique. Since there was no other suitable place to eat besides one of their homes, he didn’t want to take him to his own place.
Contrary to Yoon Ye-jun’s expectation that he would be living in a studio apartment near school, Ki Young-han lived in an apartment building. It had three rooms and was quite old, but it was well-maintained. Living in an apartment like this would be great for going to school. He remembered joking about this exact apartment building.
“……”
Yoon Ye-jun followed Ki Young-han. They got into the elevator, pressed the button for the 6th floor, and Yoon Ye-jun stared at Ki Young-han, who was leaning against the wall with his eyes closed, looking tired. At his gaze, Ki Young-han slowly opened his eyes. He tilted his head and met Yoon Ye-jun’s eyes.
“Do you live with your parents?”
If so, it would be a huge inconvenience. Since the two of them had never talked about family, they didn’t know each other well. They hadn’t even known each other well, and they had kissed impulsively. Just thinking about it felt strange.
Ding.* The elevator door opened. Ki Young-han got off first, and Yoon Ye-jun followed. It was a staircase-style structure with only two apartments facing each other on each floor.
“I live alone.”
Ki Young-han spoke calmly and then swiped his card key at the door lock. Beep- The door opened with a mechanical sound. Stepping inside, he saw that it was well-furnished for someone living alone near school. There was a sofa in the living room, a television, and a dining table. It was tidy, as if he cleaned quite well. “Just like Ki Young-han,” Yoon Ye-jun passed a brief judgment. “Just like Ki Young-han” encompassed everything about Ki Young-han.
Yoon Ye-jun placed the plastic bags containing stir-fried tripe and rice balls on the dining table. After a quick hand wash, the two sat facing each other at the table. “He even has a dining table when he lives alone,” Yoon Ye-jun said, making polite conversation.
“Your place is nice. Did you set it up yourself?”
When asked, Ki Young-han replied, “Well. You have to have the basic setup for living like a person.”
Yoon Ye-jun recalled his own studio apartment. He didn’t know who lived there before, but he presumed they must have smoked heavily inside, judging by the yellowed wallpaper. Not only were the corners damp and wet during the summer monsoon season, but the sagging bed left no space for a desk. So, he bought a folding table and ate and did his homework there. It was a cramped 4-pyeong room where his feet would hit the wall if he stretched them out; that was where he lived.
“He’s well-off,” Yoon Ye-jun thought, watching Ki Young-han peel the packaging off the food with no expression. Actually, when he first came to Seoul, he was surprised by how many people were well-off. The high school Yoon Ye-jun attended had fewer than 100 students in total. The third year had a slightly larger number, around 40, and the remaining 50 were split between the first and second years.
Their family circumstances seemed similar, so he hadn’t felt particularly lacking back then. But once he came to Seoul, the wealthy kids were incredibly wealthy. Still, he didn’t feel any particular inferiority complex, but today he felt inexplicably lonely. It probably had to do with the fact that they were using the car Ki Young-han drove, carrying the stir-fried tripe Ki Young-han insisted on paying for, and eating dinner together in Ki Young-han’s apartment. It was a location less than 20 minutes away from where he lived, yet their lives were different.
The spicy aroma of the stir-fried tripe quickly filled the air. Looking at the bright red stir-fried tripe, Yoon Ye-jun felt a sudden urge for alcohol. It wasn’t because he was comparing Ki Young-han’s situation to his own. It was easier to believe that.
“…I should have bought some soju.”
Yoon Ye-jun muttered as if to himself. Should he go out and buy some? As he pondered for a moment, Ki Young-han stood up.
“I have beer.”
“You can’t even drink, yet you’re so well-prepared?”
He said it teasingly, and Ki Young-han’s face flushed. But he didn’t add any further words. Instead, he opened the refrigerator and took out a can of beer. It was a large can, the kind sold at convenience stores.
“There’s more inside. Drink if you want,” Ki Young-han said calmly. Yoon Ye-jun stared intently at Ki Young-han. “He won’t get drunk on just beer, will he…?” Seeing the suspicion in Yoon Ye-jun’s eyes, Ki Young-han snapped back, “What are you staring at?”
Ki Young-han would get worked up over trivial things, lash out, and then calm down. He was like the beer on the table, waiting to be drunk.
The meal was surprisingly good. The two didn’t talk much. When Yoon Ye-jun spoke, Ki Young-han still answered curtly, but Yoon Ye-jun had adapted a little, so it didn’t matter.
“Who cares how I talk.”
He found it strange that he had even gotten used to that kind of tone. Time was truly a wonder.
Yoon Ye-jun gulped down his beer and watched Ki Young-han eat. Ki Young-han only picked at the rice balls they had brought and, at most, the onions from the stir-fried tripe. He ate some glass noodles, but not much.
“You don’t seem to eat much stir-fried tripe,” Yoon Ye-jun said, resting his chin on his hand and watching him intently. Ki Young-han, who had been picking at onions with his chopsticks, looked up. Then, he pretended not to have heard and lowered his gaze again.
“…Tell me honestly. You can’t eat it, can you?”
Thwack. Before the words were even finished, Ki Young-han slammed his chopsticks down loudly.
“How can I eat this garbage?”
Then, he suddenly got angry at Yoon Ye-jun. No, he had said it was fine, that he could eat it, but Ki Young-han spoke as if it were all Yoon Ye-jun’s fault. Yoon Ye-jun, who bore the brunt of the scolding, looked flustered, his eyes darting around, and let out a sigh. “Hmph…”
“You said it was fine.”
“If I said I wouldn’t eat it, you would have just left, right?”
That was true. But Yoon Ye-jun was equally dumbfounded. He looked at Ki Young-han with a blank stare, chopsticks still in hand.
If he didn’t want to eat it, he could have just left. Why is he so annoyed?
Yoon Ye-jun suddenly remembered the first day he met Ki Young-han. Ki Young-han, who had cursed, “Disgusting,” at the professor’s remark that it was permissible for same-sex partners to do so, was so different from the Ki Young-han now. Could he possibly like me? He knew it was absurd, but it wouldn’t hurt to consider.
“Are you perhaps…?”
Do you like me? Just as he was about to ask, a monotonous ringtone sounded. Yoon Ye-jun always kept his Mobile phone on vibrate or silent, so the call must be for Ki Young-han. As expected, Ki Young-han stood up and grabbed his Mobile phone.
“What.”
Normally, he would say “Hello,” but Ki Young-han answered it familiarly. Then, he raised his voice.
Yoon Ye-jun fell into deep thought about what would happen if Ki Young-han liked him. He thought it might be okay if someone with such a nasty personality became meek only in front of him, but that seemed entirely unlikely. No, first of all, it didn’t seem possible. Who would speak to someone they liked like that?
And as if to prove Yoon Ye-jun’s worries were in vain, Ki Young-han snapped back at the person on the phone. It was like a machine gun firing bullets.
“Why are you asking me that? Hey. Just put your head down and study, what else are you supposed to do? …Stop whining, seriously. …Ah, really. And why do you care so much? Is it your grades? …Hey, you’re the one who called. Hah, I’m so annoyed I could explode.”
Who is he talking to, to be puffing and panting like that?
Yoon Ye-jun raised the hand holding the beer can and took a gulp, glancing sideways at Ki Young-han, who was on the phone. Ki Young-han even went out to the balcony to continue the argument. Whether it was a fight or a one-sided barrage, he didn’t know.
The call didn’t take long. Ki Young-han came back inside, still huffing, and unhesitatingly downed his beer.
“…Who was it?”
Yoon Ye-jun asked cautiously. It would be stranger if Ki Young-han ignored him when he was so worked up. And as expected, Ki Young-han…
“Is it any of your business?”
He answered rudely. Without eating any of the food, he drank the entire can of beer as if he were going to finish it. Whatever, he’s being a jerk even when I’m worried about him. Yoon Ye-jun’s expression hardened slightly.
“Don’t talk to me like that.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
Someone who talks like this would never like me. My delusion is getting out of hand.
“…You rude bastard.”
A curse finally slipped out of Yoon Ye-jun’s mouth. His expression also turned cold. But the moment he spoke, he regretted it.
He didn’t know about Ki Young-han, but in his opinion, they had become quite friendly compared to before. He worried they would start bickering like at the beginning of the semester, or constantly engage in a battle of wills every time they met. No matter how much you tried to gauge someone, who would want to waste emotional energy like that? Especially since they had to meet twice a week, without fail.
Yoon Ye-jun silently brought the cup to his lips and drank water. His mouth felt quite dry, perhaps from the beer or the current situation, but drinking water calmed him a little. Then, he raised his head again.
Ki Young-han, whom he expected to be glaring at him, bit his lower lip with his upper lip. Why is he making that face? Yoon Ye-jun thought, watching Ki Young-han gaze at him without glaring. Ki Young-han’s eyelashes fluttered, and he deeply closed and opened his eyes.
“I was talking to my brother,” Ki Young-han replied, his voice a little softer than before.
Yoon Ye-jun looked at Ki Young-han, who answered obediently, and nodded. “I see.” If he had just said this from the beginning, there would have been no argument. Looking at him, Yoon Ye-jun felt like he was looking at a child who had caused trouble and was trying to avoid adult scrutiny. He softened his tone, as if to retract his previous words.
“Is your brother similar to you in personality?”
“No. That guy… No, well. He’s different.”
Ki Young-han stopped himself from cursing and trailed off. Indeed, if his brother also had such a peculiar personality, how difficult it must be for their parents. “That must be so,” Yoon Ye-jun said, and Ki Young-han slightly rolled his eyes. Yoon Ye-jun found the sight of him glaring without being able to say anything amusing and ended up laughing.
He doesn’t seem like a bad person at all, so why does he talk like that? He seems to have a lot of affection, too. Even during the retreat, he drove for hours to return a friend’s Mobile phone. And when they went hiking, he threw his jumper at Yoon Ye-jun. Of course, after it hit his head, Yoon Ye-jun wondered if he was challenging him to a physical fight.
“Young-han, I don’t think you’re a bad person.”
Of course, he talks like an idiot. There were far worse people in the world, so Yoon Ye-jun didn’t want to label Ki Young-han as bad. Even though he had immediately called him rude…
So, let’s not get angry with each other. Yoon Ye-jun tried to continue speaking, but the words wouldn’t come out.
Ki Young-han didn’t respond. He seemed to have drunk quite a bit, his cheeks flushed red. He gazed at Yoon Ye-jun for a moment, then turned his gaze away. He then pulled his chair and stood up.
“I’ll lie down on the sofa.”
Even when I say nice things, he acts like this. Ki Young-han moved his long legs and went to lie down on the sofa. The sound of leather creaking was heard.
Yoon Ye-jun looked at the empty space where Ki Young-han had been. The beer cans, which had been placed haphazardly, were now lined up. It seemed Ki Young-han had tidied them. He hadn’t even noticed while drinking and eating. He really wasn’t a bad person.
As for his words…
His thoughts became too complicated to continue.
Yoon Ye-jun checked the time on his Mobile phone. It was already past 11 o’clock. It was quite late. Although he had more free time than on weekdays because his tutoring session was in the afternoon, it felt like he had stayed too long when he wasn’t planning to sleep over.
Should I head home now? Yoon Ye-jun stood up. He felt he should clean up after himself before leaving, so he approached the sofa where Ki Young-han was lying.
“……”
“……”
Ki Young-han had his eyes closed peacefully. Seen like this, his face was quite beautiful. If he just kept his mouth shut, his face was objectively one that wouldn’t divide opinions. The professor had said so, and Yoon Ye-jun often heard compliments about Ki Young-han’s appearance around campus. Even during the first semester’s orientation for communication, several students had approached Ki Young-han first to ask to be in the same group.
It was strange that he ended up in the same group as Yoon Ye-jun. Was this also a coincidence? His initial intention was malicious. He had meant to tease Ki Young-han, who had openly shown his hostility in a crowded lecture hall without filtering himself.
“Young-han.”
Ki Young-han didn’t get up. Yoon Ye-jun, unable to shake him awake and feeling awkward, called his name again, “Ki Young-han.” He only drank a little beer, but he’s drunk. He was definitely weak to alcohol.
“Young-han, get up.”
“……”
Ki Young-han slowly lifted his heavy eyelids.
“I’m leaving now. About cleaning up.”
Ki Young-han slowly closed and opened his eyes, as if tired or drunk. Then, he pushed himself up and grabbed Yoon Ye-jun’s wrist, pulling him to sit beside him.
“Ah…”
The atmosphere became strange again. Yoon Ye-jun just stared at Ki Young-han. What if he kisses me again? Ki Young-han’s grip on Yoon Ye-jun’s wrist tightened.
“I’m not bad, am I?”
Why is he asking that all of a sudden? Yoon Ye-jun just nodded his head once.
“Then forget about cleaning up and give me a kiss before you go.”
Does he really need to say that before? He thought for a moment but decided against saying anything. Ki Young-han slightly closed and opened his eyes, as if his eyelashes were falling. When Yoon Ye-jun couldn’t answer, Ki Young-han added,
“I gave you a drive today.”
“You were the one who took me. I said I wanted to see the cherry blossoms near school.”
Yoon Ye-jun stated only the facts, leaving Ki Young-han speechless. He’s so silly. Yoon Ye-jun felt an uncontrollable urge to laugh, even though it wasn’t a situation where he should. When he suppressed his laughter, only silence filled the air.
Ki Young-han glanced up, stealing a look at Yoon Ye-jun. Why is he being so observant when it doesn’t suit him? Yoon Ye-jun steadfastly met Ki Young-han’s gaze, which repeatedly reached out and then retreated.
Ki Young-han readjusted his grip on Yoon Ye-jun’s wrist. Then, he stuck out his tongue and licked his lips.
“If you kiss me, I’ll tell you something interesting.”
He wasn’t particularly curious. He felt like hearing it would make him feel strange. However, Yoon Ye-jun remained seated silently.
To be honest, Yoon Ye-jun wasn’t looking forward to what interesting thing Ki Young-han might say. But he didn’t dislike Ki Young-han, who lacked everything but rudeness, begging him for a kiss. Is he drunk? That’s unlikely.
Perhaps he had a worse personality than Ki Young-han. He liked it when someone begged him for a kiss, like a dog begging to go for a walk. Ki Young-han, who had spat curses about same-sex encounters being disgusting.
Yoon Ye-jun gazed at Ki Young-han and then pressed his lips against Ki Young-han’s. They had done it once before; what was so difficult about doing it a second time? As long as he didn’t develop romantic feelings. He didn’t want to feel affection for anyone else on campus anymore.
“……”
Ki Young-han, who had been the one begging, looked at Yoon Ye-jun with surprised eyes. His expression was more varied than expected. Yoon Ye-jun felt a little awkward and changed the subject.
“Now, the interesting…”
But he couldn’t finish his sentence. Ki Young-han lunged at Yoon Ye-jun. The two became entangled without any space between them. As their slightly parted lips met and intertwined, Yoon Ye-jun gripped the sofa leather in his hand. He dug his nails in, but there was nothing to grasp. A wet tongue quickly found its way between their teeth. He could distinctly feel Ki Young-han’s tongue pressing against his own, licking it. The sound of someone’s saliva sloshing was heard.
Yoon Ye-jun managed to move his hand and clutched Ki Young-han’s shoulder. Chuk, the heavy, pressing lips pulled away. They were only touching with their upper lips.
Yoon Ye-jun blinked. Ki Young-han took in his appearance. Yoon Ye-jun tilted his head slightly. Ki Young-han pursued his lips as if to kiss him again. Yoon Ye-jun wiped his lips as if wiping them with the back of his hand and tried to soothe his parched mouth.
“…You said you’d tell me an interesting story.”
He said it to change the subject, as he had nothing else to say. Ki Young-han slowly pulled away. He was only a little further away than when they were kissing.
“Shall I tell you?” Ki Young-han whispered in a low voice, moving his lips that had just been kissing.
“Yes.”
“If you kiss me one more time.”
Yoon Ye-jun unhesitatingly met his lips and pulled away. Am I drunk too? No, that’s not it. That couldn’t be it.
Ki Young-han’s tightly closed lips parted, and his voice emerged.
“Remembering when we kissed.”
Yoon Ye-jun didn’t answer, just stared intently at Ki Young-han. He waited for the words that would follow. Although Ki Young-han wasn’t hesitating, time seemed to pass slowly.
“I did it alone.”
Yoon Ye-jun’s fingers twitched. Thinking about it again, Ki Young-han was really not his type. He was the kind of person he would have avoided if they weren’t in the same group, due to his rude way of speaking. Their fundamental compatibility was off. He was a person who was completely at odds with Yoon Ye-jun’s mindset of prioritizing social life. Honestly, he was like a child. Wasn’t it because he disliked younger people that they were childish?
However, Yoon Ye-jun hesitated. He thought the reason for his hesitation was Ki Young-han’s pretty face. His face, which was always crooked and defiant, was now cast in shadow. A wicked impulse struck him.
Anyway, neither of us seems to have romantic feelings. Since Ki Young-han was begging like this, maybe he should spend the semester like this. After all, they had to meet now to work on assignments, and he was constantly going through the sequence of “no, no, yes, yes.” And perhaps it would be a good opportunity to tame Ki Young-han.
There were less than two months left. After the end of June, there would be no more reason to contact each other. They would naturally drift apart. He wanted to get along well until then.
Yoon Ye-jun’s heart wavered. He swallowed dryly several times. His voice, full of hesitation, emerged from his mouth.
“…Ki Young-han.”
Ki Young-han answered by slowly lifting his gaze, which had been lowered.
“Do you want to kiss me?”
Ki Young-han couldn’t answer and lowered his eyes again before lifting them. Yoon Ye-jun also unconsciously dropped his gaze. Before he knew it, Ki Young-han’s hand was on the back of his own. He moved his fingers suggestively, stroking Yoon Ye-jun’s hand. The bone structure of his fingers was surprisingly firm, and his knuckles were thick.
Yoon Ye-jun concluded that this was his unspoken answer. However, the words “Let’s do it right now” didn’t come out. Ki Young-han was the one who suggested kissing first, and Ki Young-han was the one pushing for it, so why did he feel more awkward?
“If you listen to me well, I’ll do it.”
Ki Young-han, who had been staring at Yoon Ye-jun’s hand, furrowed the space between his eyebrows.
“How much better do you want me to listen than I am now?”
Did he really think he was listening well…?
Yoon Ye-jun didn’t understand at all, but he couldn’t argue here. So, he continued more concretely.
“Speak nicely. Don’t be rude.”
“…….”
“If you listen well to what I tell you to do. Then I’ll kiss you. As many times as you want.”
Yoon Ye-jun slowly lowered his upper body. Placing his hands on Ki Young-han’s chest, he pushed him away. Ki Young-han, who had been facing him, suddenly lay back on the sofa. Ki Young-han reached out, wrapped his hands around Yoon Ye-jun’s nape, and pulled him closer.
Just before their lips touched, Yoon Ye-jun pulled back.
“Answer me first. Will you listen well?”
Perhaps after tonight, all the initiative would shift to his side. Yoon Ye-jun cautiously raised the corners of his mouth. Ki Young-han, looking down at him, seemed to have his pride hurt, his expression boiling. His eyes narrowed, and the corners of his mouth turned askew. Yet, his gaze was fixed on Yoon Ye-jun’s lips. Not just his lips. The hand gripping Yoon Ye-jun’s neck was also tightening. The advantage was on his side.
“…….”
But Ki Young-han couldn’t answer easily. He hesitated, his lips twitching.
“If you don’t answer….”
It was just as Yoon Ye-jun was about to pull away.
“I’ll listen well.”
The voice that reached him sent a shiver down Yoon Ye-jun’s spine. He wondered if this was how a trainer felt teaching a beast that couldn’t understand. Ki Young-han pulled Yoon Ye-jun towards him as if to embrace him, and kissed him again. Their lips met lightly, then parted. Ki Young-han whispered in a low voice,
“…Just listen well, and it’ll be fine.”
Then, without giving Yoon Ye-jun time to respond, he tangled their lips fiercely. Yoon Ye-jun lay on top of Ki Young-han, kissing him. They wrestled. Sometimes Yoon Ye-jun was on top, and sometimes Ki Young-han was on top, embracing and mingling their tongues.
Their physically aroused bodies pressed together, and he felt a firm pressure from below. It was heavy, as if his pants were about to burst.
“Haa, ah….”
Just from kissing, his lower body felt full of power. Yoon Ye-jun wanted to at least unbuckle his pants. Ki Young-han continued the intense kiss, regardless of whether he was straight or not, and naturally, his lower body reacted.
Yoon Ye-jun placed his hands on Ki Young-han’s thick sides, who was on top of him. Ki Young-han, like a doting lover, kissed Yoon Ye-jun’s lips once, his cheek once, and deeply on his neck.
Yoon Ye-jun bit his lips gently, then cupped Ki Young-han’s cheek and lifted it.
“Ki Young-han….”
His voice was low, heavy with their mingled breaths. Ki Young-han, continuing the caressing kiss, couldn’t answer and buried his face in Yoon Ye-jun’s neck, inhaling deeply. Eventually, Yoon Ye-jun had to hold his cheek again to make him lift his head. His eyes were half-lidded. Yoon Ye-jun clenched his jaw.
“You’re hard.”
At those words, Ki Young-han bit his moist lips. He kissed Yoon Ye-jun’s lips once more. He really likes kissing, Yoon Ye-jun thought, watching Ki Young-han kiss him relentlessly. He doesn’t look like it. He seems like he’d find physical contact disgusting.
“…Can I touch?”
He sounded a bit like a straight man saying that. If they were lovers, there would be no need to say “you’re hard” or “what are you doing”; after such an intense kiss, they would naturally move on to caressing and penetration. But he and Ki Young-han were not lovers. He was trying to satisfy his unfulfilled desire solely through touch. Without even considering it a similar relationship.
Yoon Ye-jun slowly nodded. There was no subject, and naturally, Ki Young-han assumed he would masturbate while kissing. However, Ki Young-han reached for Yoon Ye-jun’s pants buckle.
“…What are you doing?”
“You said I could touch.”
“Did you mean my genitals?”
What is he talking about? Ki Young-han scowled. Then he kissed him again. Yoon Ye-jun accepted Ki Young-han’s lips, which were taking his own into his mouth, and also reached for his buckle. The click of the buckle and the sound of their wet tongues mingling were quite stimulating.
Ki Young-han pulled down Yoon Ye-jun’s pants and underwear in one go. He couldn’t take them off completely, but just enough to expose his genitals.
“Ah….”
Yoon Ye-jun let out a low sigh and slightly lifted his upper body. It wasn’t the first time, but he felt aroused earlier than usual. He reached into Ki Young-han’s underwear. Fumbling, he grasped the shaft. It was too large to hold in one hand.
It’s so big. Since he wasn’t going to go in from behind anyway, Yoon Ye-jun could only marvel. It’s a good thing his personality isn’t perfect too. If his personality were also perfect, he’d truly lack nothing. As he fumbled for the shaft, moving his hand to pull it out from under the underwear, Yoon Ye-jun’s body flinched.
Ki Young-han, who had been rubbing his lips against Yoon Ye-jun’s chin, slowly sat up. Yoon Ye-jun, who had been lying on the sofa blinking, carefully, as carefully as possible, said to Ki Young-han, who met his gaze.
“…Did you shave?”
“No.”
After speaking, Ki Young-han belatedly cursed, “Fuck.” Yoon Ye-jun didn’t have much body hair. Rather, he had little, and it was light in color. However, among the lovers and friends who had seen him naked so far…
“This is the first time I’ve seen you without hair.”
“Don’t talk about it.”
It was the first time seeing a white uterus.
Yoon Ye-jun tried not to show it, but his gaze kept drifting downwards. A white uterus. He really wanted to see it with his own eyes. It wasn’t that he was attracted to the vulgarity of hairless genitals; it was pure curiosity because he had never seen it before. He glanced down, but his chin was immediately grabbed. Sensing his intention, Ki Young-han, with a crooked expression, lifted Yoon Ye-jun’s lower face.
“…….”
Ki Young-han bit his lower lip and narrowed his eyes. Yoon Ye-jun thought Ki Young-han’s cheeks, which were glaring at him, looked flushed. He couldn’t tell if the skin, red like a strawberry, was his imagination, due to alcohol, or because he was embarrassed.
Ki Young-han glared at Yoon Ye-jun for a moment, then lowered his body again. He then pressed his lips to Yoon Ye-jun’s, then pulled away. Ki Young-han lowered his hips as if to push his genitals into Yoon Ye-jun. Their erect shafts rubbed against the underwear.
“Just….”
“…….”
“Let’s do it. Forget about the crotch situation.”
It was his usual sharp tone. Well, it was true. Yoon Ye-jun moved his hands to pull both his and Ki Young-han’s genitals out from their underwear. Then, spreading his hands wide, he barely managed to hold both genitals in his palms. As two genitals were held in his hands, his palms felt strained, as if they were cramping. Yoon Ye-jun slowly moved his hands.
He hadn’t known it would come to this when they first met. He was still unsure. Was he doing this right? As he applied pressure with his fingers and stroked upwards, Ki Young-han let out a low sigh. They resumed kissing.
Ki Young-han poked out his tongue, then delved into the gap between Yoon Ye-jun’s lips before pulling away. He just rubbed it, as if eating sweet ice cream. Annoyed by the playfully licking tongue, Yoon Ye-jun, as Ki Young-han’s tongue approached to lick his lips, tightened his lips and took his tongue into his mouth. Then Ki Young-han began to delve into his mouth.
Yoon Ye-jun was busy responding to Ki Young-han’s kisses and moving the hand holding his genitals. He didn’t even notice Ki Young-han undressing him. If one of them were sane, perhaps. Ki Young-han’s tongue movements were quite rough, and he unconsciously writhed his hips, moving out of sync with Yoon Ye-jun’s hand. He seemed to be moving instinctively. He didn’t seem aware of his own hip movements.
The thick glans tried to enter the gap between his fingers, and as he pulled back, it seemed to rub and thrust against his hot palm, aiming for the urethral opening. That alone was overwhelming, but whenever Yoon Ye-jun relaxed his body even for a moment, Ki Young-han sucked his tongue until the base of his tongue ached.
“Hut… ah….”
As their shafts rubbed together, Ki Young-han’s penis, with its bulging veins, felt starkly real. Yoon Ye-jun bit his lower lip and tilted his head back. Heat rushed to his palms. His elbows trembled. Even kissing had made him aroused, but now, directly stimulating and rubbing his genitals, the sexual pleasure he felt after a long time seemed to engulf and devour his body.
Ki Young-han continuously applied pressure to his lower body, thrusting the genitals in Yoon Ye-jun’s hand up and down. His hips moved as if drawing a fluid curve, like during intercourse. Unlike their wet kisses, his lower body seemed to move with relative ease. Yoon Ye-jun, struggling to keep up, could only gasp and breathe heavily.
Slap, slap… the sound of their friction deepened. Yoon Ye-jun swallowed, burying his forehead in Ki Young-han’s shoulder. Hoo… He tried to calm his panting breaths, but it was no use. As he managed to swallow, Ki Young-han thrust his hips again. He pressed down on the frenulum just below the glans, stimulating it.
“Hut…!”
As the stimulation reached a particularly sensitive area, Yoon Ye-jun finally let go of the two genitals he was barely holding.
“Haa… ah, wait a minute….”
Then, unable to hold back, he grabbed Ki Young-han’s shoulder to stop him. Ki Young-han grabbed Yoon Ye-jun’s chin again and lifted it. Ki Young-han continuously rubbed his lips and slowly moved his body up. The pupils in his unfocused eyes seemed smaller than usual. He was lost in arousal. The ends of his eyes were red. His glistening, wet lips parted slightly, revealing a red tongue.
Ki Young-han also exhaled a low breath.
“Ah….”
Ki Young-han’s movements slowed down just a little. He seemed to have managed to stop Ki Young-han, but the violent penis twitching in his thighs still touched Yoon Ye-jun. Whether it was slow or not didn’t matter. The glans, poking into the soft flesh of his thighs, slid and pressed against his skin. Ki Young-han gasped for breath as if holding it in. But Yoon Ye-jun pretended not to notice.
“I think I’m going to cum. Tissues…”
Even though he was stroking his genitals with Ki Young-han, he felt embarrassed about cumming together. Ki Young-han stared intently at Yoon Ye-jun’s face. Then his gaze dropped to Yoon Ye-jun’s genitals, which were wet with pre-cum. His mouth felt dry from arousal, and he swallowed.
“…….”
Yoon Ye-jun’s gaze also turned to Ki Young-han’s genitals. Like Ki Young-han’s skin, his genitals were pale and red. Especially the tip of the glans, where arousal had concentrated, was a deeper color, and it glistened due to being wet. Because there was no pubic hair, it seemed even larger. Not to mention its thickness and length. He thought, Can a penis be this big without bending? It seemed to be due to its girth.
Ki Young-han’s thighs were also thick. It was then that Yoon Ye-jun realized he had placed his legs over Ki Young-han’s thighs. How aroused was he to not even notice this? It was like the moment before penetration, when one was preparing to loosen up. Embarrassed, Yoon Ye-jun retracted his thighs. To escape Ki Young-han’s embrace, he leaned on the armrest of the sofa.
“Ah…!”
Ki Young-han, who had been watching the twitching penis, grabbed Yoon Ye-jun’s glans. The hot grip tightened around the tip, and blood rushed downwards. Yoon Ye-jun squeezed his eyes shut. Wanting to hold back, he braced himself with both hands on the sofa and lifted his body halfway.
“I, I really think I’m going to cum, ut, like…”
Ki Young-han moved his hand holding the glans, stimulating it. Naturally, his lower body throbbed. Yoon Ye-jun gasped for breath and barely managed to place his hands on Ki Young-han’s stomach. He tightly gripped the hem of the knit sweater. Ki Young-han grabbed Yoon Ye-jun’s shaft and swept his hand downwards. Then he came back up, firmly gripping the glans and pressing down on the urethral opening with his thumb. He even scraped it slightly with his fingernails, and Yoon Ye-jun could no longer hold back. He finally lifted his lower body.
“Ha, ah… no…. I can’t hold it, ut…”
Before he could finish speaking, he ejaculated in Ki Young-han’s hand. His lower abdomen tensed as his penis spurted semen. After ejaculating, his body lost strength, and he slumped onto the sofa. Haa, haa… He breathed heavily. His chest rose and fell with his ragged breaths. He looked up at the ceiling with half-lidded eyes.
It was pleasure he hadn’t felt in a long time. No, among all the lovers he had dated, no one had been this overwhelming. Yoon Ye-jun had primarily had platonic relationships. Perhaps it was because he knew nothing. He squeezed his eyes shut. He took another deep breath. Only then did his body seem to calm down a little.
Could Ki Young-han have experience with men?
Perhaps all that talk about it being dirty during the sex and communication orientation was just a setup, and he didn’t want to be found out for liking men.
Yoon Ye-jun looked at Ki Young-han with eyes full of suspicion. Ki Young-han pulled out a tissue from the tissue box on the table and wiped his semen-stained hand. Then, he lay down again, spreading Yoon Ye-jun’s legs, and positioned himself between them.
He spoke calmly.
“I haven’t cum yet.”
“Oh, oh…”
Before Yoon Ye-jun could answer, Ki Young-han lowered his body again. A kiss followed. Ki Young-han rubbed his genitals against Yoon Ye-jun’s groin without hesitation. He thrust quickly and roughly, to the point where the inside of his thighs burned.
He had never done this on his thighs even with people he dated. Yoon Ye-jun tightly gripped Ki Young-han’s shoulder as he kissed him again. Unlike himself, who was exposed from the waist down in just a t-shirt, Ki Young-han was neatly dressed, with only his pants buckle slightly undone. He felt conflicted. Of course, they weren’t at the stage of being fully undressed and having sex, but he knew Ki Young-han wasn’t even paying attention to his own attire. He could tell just by looking at his eyes.
Ki Young-han, who had been biting and sucking his lips, sat up.
“Ah….”
The hands that had been holding his shoulders froze in mid-air and then dropped. Yoon Ye-jun had nothing left to hold onto. To barely calm his arousal, he reached under the sofa and gripped the bottom of the sofa.
“Eu, eun….”
Although he paused to catch his breath intermittently, he couldn’t control his panting.
Yoon Ye-jun took a short breath, “Hut…”, and accepted all of Ki Young-han’s actions as he thrust his penis into the space below his groin. Ki Young-han rubbed his genitals deep inside his thighs, against his shaft, and against his light pubic hair, as if leaving a mark on Yoon Ye-jun’s body. He thrust roughly and moved for a long time.
“Ah, wait… too much, hut…”
“Just a little, eu… more.”
The stimulation caused Yoon Ye-jun’s still-warm lower body to become erect again, and this time, without reaching orgasm, he spurted semen with each thrust. He wasn’t touching himself, but it was being rubbed together, and he couldn’t hold back. As his erect penis twitched, it moved with Ki Young-han’s genitals.
Ki Young-han grabbed Yoon Ye-jun’s wrists, which were holding the back and cushion of the sofa. Then, pulling his body as if they were truly having intercourse, he thrust his hips. The inside of his groin ached, to the point of burning. The sound of wetness echoed as their lower bodies collided.
Ki Young-han pushed his genitals into Yoon Ye-jun’s lower body and thrust for a long time before exhaling a long breath, “Hoo…”, and ejaculating onto Yoon Ye-jun’s thighs and genitals. The pale semen dripped onto Yoon Ye-jun’s cocoa-colored dark thighs. It looked like cream dropped into cocoa.
Ki Young-han, his eyes flushed red, looked at Yoon Ye-jun’s thighs. Even as he gasped for breath, he felt the urge to suck. He had never kissed anyone’s groin before, but he felt he could do it this time. A sticky desire, unlike anything he had ever felt from another person, swirled in his mind.
Ki Young-han pushed his hand under Yoon Ye-jun’s t-shirt. As he pulled it up as if to remove it, he was about to bury his face between Yoon Ye-jun’s legs.
“Ah… hu… Wait, just a second…”
Yoon Ye-jun’s restraining words made Ki Young-han pause. He looked up.
Yoon Ye-jun was still calming his excitement. The last time he came, he had even thrust his hips high. He bit his lower lip so hard it looked like he might tear it. He was only two years apart, but whether it was because he was young or because he was just like that inherently, the word “superb”—a word he hated for being old-fashioned—came to mind involuntarily.
Ki Young-han, as if he were seeing sex for the first time, rubbed his lips against Yoon Ye-jun’s chin and asked.
“…Can we do more?”
However, Yoon Ye-jun was languid because he had come twice in quick succession without rest. It might have been because it had been a while, but the fact that he had gone out and come back was a bigger factor. Moreover, being with Ki Young-han, who had been confrontational towards him all day, had made him more sensitive than usual, and fatigue had set in quickly.
For now, next time. We agreed to do it next time anyway. He pushed away Ki Young-han’s shoulder, who was pleading with him, and stopped him.
“Hoo… Let’s do it next time. Go wash up first.”
“More…”
“Later, later…”
When he said that much, Ki Young-han calmed down a little. Still, he didn’t seem inclined to get up from on top of him. He slyly rubbed his glans against his thigh, pretending to slip, and pushed it into his inner groin. Yoon Ye-jun eventually scrunched up his eyes at the sex appeal thrown at him with an indifferent face.
This guy really seems to have experience with men…
Yoon Ye-jun pushed Ki Young-han’s body away and sat up.
“Hurry up and go wash. You said you’d listen.”
When he replied firmly, Ki Young-han glared at him, his eyes hardening. Yoon Ye-jun, who had no reason to be cautious anymore, met his sidelong glance without a word.
“……”
“……”
Ki Young-han, who had been sharpening his gaze, suddenly turned his head. Then he got up from the sofa and went into the bathroom.
Only when the weight that had been crushing his body disappeared could Yoon Ye-jun finally sit up straight on the sofa. He leaned back against the backrest and looked out at the dark living room. It was a pitch-black night. Of course, light seeped in from beyond the balcony. He closed his eyes, listening to the sound of water falling from beyond the bathroom door.
He was too tired to go home. Maybe he’d wash up when Ki Young-han came out and sleep here. He didn’t think he’d argue about it in the morning.
Yoon Ye-jun sighed as he looked down at his lower body, thoroughly mixed with his and Ki Young-han’s fluids.
“Haa…”
Once was a mistake, an accident. Twice was not. Moreover, he had been quite drunk during the retreat, but today only Ki Young-han was drunk, and he himself was completely sober.
“…I don’t know either.”
But what could he do? Yoon Ye-jun put aside the encroaching self-loathing and decided to think positively for now. It was a win-win situation, wasn’t it? Ki Young-han was obedient, and he himself hadn’t been with a partner for quite some time.
At least Ki Young-han is good at it. Yes. Let’s not overthink things or worry too much. It’s not like our relationship will become anything more than this anyway. But he was rougher than I expected, what about that? He barely managed to stop him today, but if he did it unconsciously… he felt like he wouldn’t even be able to recover his bones. Is it okay to be like this when we’re only two years apart?
Yoon Ye-jun tilted his head and looked at the tightly closed bathroom door. He could bet that Ki Young-han was masturbating inside. He could faintly hear his breathing, and the sound of water was strange. Splish, splash… The sound of water splashing was oddly audible.
He should tell him to finish himself off like that a few more times in the future. If he kept pushing like this, his body would be too exhausted. He was already sore all over, and he didn’t know what would happen in the future.
Yoon Ye-jun, who had been staring intently at the door, soon tilted his head back. As he closed his eyes, only the sound of water settled in his ears.
“…I want to wash up quickly and sleep.”
He didn’t care about anything else; he just wanted Ki Young-han to come out quickly.
Despite drinking the night before, Ki Young-han habitually woke up at 8 AM. Fortunately, he didn’t have a hangover. He hadn’t drunk that much anyway. He blinked blankly, staring only at the ceiling, then suddenly sat up. He was alone on the bed, which could comfortably fit two people. There was no trace of anyone else.
Naturally, Yoon Ye-jun must have left. The thought immediately made him frown. He hadn’t expected to sleep in the same bed, but how could someone just leave him alone without a word? A sense of inexplicable irritation and thirst washed over him, and he got out of bed and went outside.
“……”
“Ah, good morning.”
Yoon Ye-jun, whom he thought had left, was standing in the kitchen. He was stirring a ladle in a small pot. Ki Young-han, unable to grasp the situation, stared blankly at the person in the corner of the kitchen. Was it a dream or reality? He just looked at Yoon Ye-jun without understanding.
Yoon Ye-jun smiled as if he were a good-natured person.
“I slept here last night. I was too tired to go home.”
He spoke in a calm voice and gestured towards the living room with his chin.
“I slept on the sofa. I thought you’d dislike sharing the bed.”
At his words, Ki Young-han slowly turned around. Just in case, an extra blanket he had brought from home was neatly folded on the sofa.
I wouldn’t have minded sleeping in the bed…
Ki Young-han thought this for a brief moment but couldn’t voice it. It would sound like he was asking to sleep together. He just muttered it to himself.
And Yoon Ye-jun, unaware of Ki Young-han’s thoughts, turned down the gas stove.
“Do you want to wash up and eat together?”
His voice, suggesting they eat together, was quite affectionate, which annoyed Ki Young-han. Who decided we’d eat at my place? The words rose to his throat, but he couldn’t speak them and just tilted his head askew.
“What…”
“……”
“I suppose so.”
Having finished speaking, Ki Young-han quickly turned and entered the bathroom. When he came out after washing up faster than usual, Yoon Ye-jun had already set the table.
He had transferred the side dishes his parents had packed into separate bowls, and the steaming bean sprout soup was served in a soup bowl. It was a rather neat meal. Yet, Ki Young-han furrowed his brow.
Yoon Ye-jun was eating without waiting for him. Usually, wouldn’t someone wait a bit when they’re together? But he held back, feeling too pathetic to question it.
“Eat.”
Yoon Ye-jun put kimchi in his mouth. Ki Young-han sat opposite Yoon Ye-jun with an awkward expression.
“By the way, the bean sprouts in the fridge would have gone bad if left any longer. It’s fortunate I could make soup, though. Why did you buy bean sprouts? You didn’t seem to eat them.”
It wasn’t him who bought them. His family would occasionally visit in a group and fill the refrigerator. Even though he told them it was a bother, he didn’t say much, knowing they came to see him.
Yoon Ye-jun seemed uninterested in hearing the backstory. Perhaps he just intended to criticize, as he showed no further curiosity and ate his rice mixed with soup. Why ask if you’re not curious? Ki Young-han twitched his lips and muttered to himself.
“I guess…”
As soon as he finished speaking, Yoon Ye-jun, who had been mixing rice with soup, looked up.
“Didn’t we agree not to talk like that?”
Yoon Ye-jun asked, frowning, but Ki Young-han pretended not to hear and stirred his soup.
“No, are you going to work today?”
He couldn’t argue back as usual because he remembered the promise he made with Yoon Ye-jun the night before, and Ki Young-han intended to keep it. Of course, he couldn’t stop the words that just popped out of his mouth like this.
“……”
Yoon Ye-jun looked at Ki Young-han, who was awkwardly changing the subject, and shook his head. Let’s drop it. He was content with this much. Would a stray dog become a well-behaved trained dog overnight? If so, Ki Young-han would have been able to speak without offending people long ago.
Instead of arguing, Yoon Ye-jun changed the direction of the conversation.
“I’m going right after eating. I have tutoring in the afternoon.”
“Ah.”
“Eat quickly. I’ll just watch you eat and then leave.”
Ki Young-han slowly picked up his spoon as he listened to Yoon Ye-jun’s point-by-point remarks. Then, he ate his rice much slower than usual. He chewed each grain of rice 50 times, even chewing the soup. Eventually, Yoon Ye-jun, unable to bear it any longer, asked, “Are you counting your rice grains as you eat?”
The sound of typing on the keyboard was more cheerful than usual.
Ki Young-han had a lot to write in his report. While writing the report, Ki Young-han checked the photos transferred to his laptop one by one. Photos Yoon Ye-jun had taken of him, infographics of movement paths made into a presentation, the exact location where the forsythia was in full bloom, etc. While checking photos for the report, he realized Yoon Ye-jun hadn’t sent the photos taken together.
You should send these in advance, why make me contact you first out of laziness.
Despite his grumbling thoughts, he quickly moved his hands and took out his Mobile phone. Then, he scrolled through the recent chat list on his Messenger and found Yoon Ye-jun, who was a couple of messages down.
As he typed “Send me the photos we took together,” his gaze was drawn to Yoon Ye-jun’s Messenger profile picture.
“……”
Yoon Ye-jun’s profile picture was still cherry blossoms. He had clearly seen him taking pictures of only forsythia, yet he was still using the cherry blossom photo from that pathetic retreat as his profile picture. Humans. They only know cherry blossoms when they think of spring. Ki Young-han, unable to hide his crooked smile, pressed down on the keypad with his thumb.
Why not use forsythia? Don’t ignore forsythia. After all the effort…
He had a lot to complain about. He didn’t know why, but he felt inexplicably heated. If Yoon Ye-jun’s profile picture had been forsythia, he would have complained about him changing his profile picture so often. Is the heart always this jumbled? He felt like picking a fight for no reason.
Without trying to find a reason for his unknown feelings, Ki Young-han pressed the screen heavily with his fingertips.
Why not change your profile picture to forsythia? Don’t ignore forsythia. After all the effort I put in, you’re still using cherry blossoms. I’m not specifically asking you to, but… After taking so many photos, why aren’t you using them?
Just as he was about to send a message clearly filled with a confrontational tone.
Kakao. Kakao. Messages came at regular intervals. Ki Young-han, who was just one “Send” button away from finishing everything, stiffened.
A message from Yoon Ye-jun.
Yoon Ye-jun
I forgot to send the photos, so I’ll send them now. ^^
1:18 PM
Yoon Ye-jun soon sent about three or four photos of them together in quick succession. Ki Young-han’s eyes widened as he looked at the incoming photos. More precisely, he looked at the number 1 next to the messages. As Yoon Ye-jun sent photos, they disappeared. He wasn’t usually obsessed with the pattern of sending and receiving messages, but somehow his strength drained away. It would look like he was waiting for Yoon Ye-jun’s messages.
Should I say I was going to contact him anyway because of the photos, even though I look needy? That I was going to send them right now. That he sent them first while I was typing. That I wasn’t waiting.
His mouth felt bitter for no reason. Ki Young-han picked up a cup from his desk and brought it to his lips. The cold water moistened his mouth, but his thirst didn’t subside. What was even more infuriating was that Yoon Ye-jun didn’t seem to care, unlike Ki Young-han, who was burning up inside. A message was soon added.
Yoon Ye-jun
I took this one separately, and I think it turned out well. I’ll send it to you too. It doesn’t mean much, but wouldn’t it give a spring vibe if you put it in your report?
1:21 PM
Ki Young-han swallowed dryly, gulping. What Yoon Ye-jun sent was a photo of only forsythia, taken so close-up it filled the screen. Ki Young-han stared at the screen as if having a staring contest with his Mobile phone. Then, at some point, the tension in his eyes suddenly relaxed. Ki Young-han, who had been pressing his lips together, stared at the message he sent, forgetting to breathe, and let out a long sigh. His voice finally escaped.
“…You’re crazy.”
What Ki Young-han’s gaze was fixed on was not the message, but Yoon Ye-jun’s profile picture. His profile picture, which had been cherry blossoms just moments ago, making him furious, had changed to forsythia. It was the same photo he had sent, bright yellow with small leaves, much more vibrant and beautiful than cherry blossoms. As Yoon Ye-jun had said, it exuded a strong spring atmosphere.
Ki Young-han, who had been staring blankly at his Mobile phone for a long time, finally managed to send a reply.
Me
Yes.
1:25 PM
And he, too, immediately changed his Messenger profile picture to the forsythia Yoon Ye-jun had sent. It was the first profile picture he had set since buying his Mobile phone.
To be continued in Volume 2.